How to practice a Psalm

August 29, 2025

Maria Fear, Psalm 5, Refuge, Satan, Trusting God , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. Psalm 5: 11 NLT

For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:12 ESV

We’re back from the Italy trip and feeling so grateful for God’s good care each day and night. Leading up to our departure, I had to fight against using my imagination to project: What if there are problems and they dampen the trip!  

This morning while reading these two verses from Psalm 5, I saw what I should have done, how I should have prayed and what the Lord actually did despite my failures.

Headed into the trip I gave into Satan-inspired fears more often than I want to admit. I should have fought against those ‘voices’ with vigor, by copying the psalmist: But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. 

Had I continually affirmed the goodness of God in providing me a refuge against Satan, I would have felt secure and been able to sing God’s praises with gladness of heart. 

Once IN God’s shelter, resting in His safe covering, I could have then more easily followed King David’s example as he asked the Lord through prayer: Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy.

For example, traveling to Italy via an overnight stop in Zürich where we rented a car, I could have prayed this verse and felt assured that God would protect us and the car.  Without a doubt Mike and I LOVE God’s name.

(Note to Self: Could asking someone if they love God’s name be a useful way to open up a Gospel conversation?)

I would have saved myself a lot of pre-trip anxiety had I soaked in the comfort of verse 12: For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

As I mentioned, despite exercising a fear-perforated confidence in God, He graciously DID cover us with favor.

We DID rejoice with relief upon turning in the rental car in Zürich with no scratches or dents. With both of us shooting up arrow prayers, Mike safely drove south over the Alps and back as well as navigated single lane Italian roads through hillside hamlets during our eleven days in Lombardy.  

And talk about God’s favor! From spectacular warm and sunny weather, to fresh Italian bread delivered to our Airbnb each morning, to awe-inspiriting vistas, to an overnight visit from Italian friends and plenty of hanging out and observing local Italian life in restaurants, grocery stores and on walks, we were the recipients of so many of God’s gifts. 

Father, You really are so good. Forgive me for doubting.

Now, considering future trips, including this next one to Seattle, may I recall HOW to count on You and reject Satan’s ‘suggestions’.

Do you believe in what is invisible?

April 18, 2024

Maria Belief, John 20, Prayer, Satan, Spiritual Warfare, Unbelief , , , , , 1 Comment

Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.” John 20:29 NLT

Saturday, while walking along the greenway trail behind our house, I stopped to chat with a couple who own the breed of dog I would choose, were I ever to be a dog owner. (We are cat lovers!) This husband and wife exercise their pair of miniature Australian sheepdogs every day, throwing frisbees wide and far for them to chase. 

To control one of her dogs, the ‘mom’ carries a whistle that only dogs and other animals can pick up. It emits a soundwave at a frequency that humans can’t detect. Her disobedient dog doesn’t like it and immediately stops chasing the squirrel or other critter that tempt him to bound away.

I have to take this woman’s word that the whistle really produces a sound. I can’t hear it, but apparently it is reality.  Just like I can’t see other phenomena that truly exist. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t real.  I searched for another example to share with you.  

Apparently, photographers have found a way to capture the fluorescent radiance of flowers using a technique called UVIVF (ultraviolet-induced visible fluorescence) photography. The naked eye can’t catch this intrinsic quality, but the photos I saw on line showed a beautiful glow around blossom.

Logically, if we take as a given the things in nature that we can’t detect with our human senses, then would it not follow that a God who is invisible to us could also exist? Especially, since there are eye-witness accounts?

I, as a believer, trust God and accept the scriptures as true. Yet, I still functionally act as an unbeliever in one major way.  Even though Jesus told his disciples that he would be with them always, I go about the majority of my day not talking to Jesus as though he were present. Which he is.

I’m like many of the clients I meet at our local choose life pregnancy center. A fair number identify themselves Christians. But they don’t accept that Jesus IS alive and present. Since they don’t feel him, or see him, it’s as though he isn’t here. And that makes it easy to ignore him.

I don’t want ever to ignore Jesus.  So, I make a point of talking out loud to him during my quiet time. I sit at the dining room table and address the Lord sitting across from me.  I chat with him, thanking him, praising him and committing my cares and those of others to him for the day. I also ask his opinion about things that are bothering me.

But sometimes that is the only time of day, I talk to him. I’m trying to change. But Satan seems to interpose little obstacles that hinder my engaging with the living Son of God. This morning, during my quiet time, I found myself putting off talking to him.

After reading and meditating on the passages for today, I wanted to move on and read a couple of devotionals, instead of praying first.  I said to myself, ‘I’ll read Oswald Chambers and John Piper to see what they have to say this morning. Then I’ll talk to Jesus.”  Clearly, I preferred reading what some men had to say about Jesus rather than hearing from the living Lord right there in my dining room.

By grace, I realized that I was stalling, and with the Lord present!  That felt embarrassing. What could be more important than being together, face to face with our Father, our Brother and the Holy Spirit, the triune almighty and holy God?

If you’re like me, then we need to accept as fact that we’ll encounter some kind of resistance, maybe even every day.  Proof positive, that Satan doesn’t want us relying on the presence of God, of talking to him and hearing from him.   Much ‘safer’ if we just discuss the Lord, as someone from the past. Even as we pay lip service to the reality of the living Jesus.

What can we do? Wearing a rubber band or bracelet on your wrist might be a tool, or setting a timer to ping every 30 minutes as a reminder. What I’m choosing to do is use my little old-school 4×6 spiral notebook. I look at it frequently throughout my day.  This morning I added another ‘to do’:

“Talk to you, Jesus, throughout the day.” 

Can we trust our emotions?

October 2, 2023

Maria Anxiety, Fear, Genesis 4, Mark 9, Satan, Temptation, Worry , 4 Comments

As with any query, such as the one about our feelings, before we try to answer it, we need more information. Questions like ‘Why do you ask?’ come to mind or ‘Trust our emotions for what?’

If it’s wisdom for what to do in a particular situation, that’s one thing. But many Christians have been taught as a general principle NOT to let their feelings ‘drive the bus’, that is, govern or direct their lives.

Listening to a recent podcast interview by Christopher Cook with Dr. Anita Phillips, I became convinced that our emotions or feelings are important signals that represent a need we have. And just as we don’t ignore our bodies when they indicate hunger or thirst, we needn’t be afraid to explore what are probably other needs.

Consider the story of the two brothers, sons of Adam and Eve. God talks to Cain about his offering, the one NOT accepted by God:

Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why is your face gloomy? Genesis 4:6 NASB

If you look up the Hebrew term for angry, you’ll find, ‘to be furious, to burn with anger’.  Cain is not annoyed, he’s blazing mad.

Okay, so if feelings are our body’s way of communicating a need, what did Cain lack?   The clue is in the next verse:

If you do well, will you not be accepted? Genesis 4:7 ESV

God can read Cain like a book and he knows his deepest desire is to be recognized and praised as his younger brother Abel was.  I imagine he felt slighted and neglected. After all, he was the older brother. Shouldn’t he have been singled out for God’s smile?

You might push back, offering another possible scenario such as:  Maybe Cain didn’t know the type of offering that would please God. 

That’s a fair question, but don’t you think if that were the case, he might have reacted with perplexity or even asked God why his offering was rejected?

How his body reacted with fury and a scowl cause me to think he might have planned to get by with a ‘cheaper’ offering.  Maybe his desire was not to please God out of love and gratitude but to just get the praise in the least costly way.  His gloomy face tells me that he knew what God wanted and his over-the-top temper could also be fueled by shame in being found out.

But look at God’s kindness in his response.  Our Father offered him a path to the acceptance he craved. In essence God says, ‘It’s not too late.  If you offer what pleases me, I will look with favor on you and you will feel my pleasure, acceptance and love.’

Cain’s story does not end well.  But it is highly useful to us. This past weekend I have dug around, searching for the truths I could benefit from in his encounter with God. I thank Him for the podcast I listened to on the plane coming back from Europe. That plus this reading have pushed me to ponder some very negative emotions in the last several days. 

Friday, we were at La Guardia airport in NYC on our last leg of a great two weeks in Italy.  We had flown in from Milano the previous day and spent the night in a drenched city still being tossed about by heavy rains.  The following morning there was flooding and yet more rain.  As we sat at the gate, still tired from the trans-Atlantic journey, I fell into worry and fear: ‘What if our flight is cancelled or delayed or we have to spend another night in NYC?’

I had to confess over and over my doubts and pathetic faith.  ‘Forgive me, Father. Lead me not into the temptation to fear!’

The good news is that God DID get us out of NYC in time. And by mid-afternoon we pulled into our driveway in sunny Huntsville. What mercies from our God!

But I was bothered by my reaction. Since then, I’ve spent time journaling and thinking about what these strong emotions were communicating to me. What needs did they indicate?

Clearly, I needed God’s assurance of his presence and provision, no matter the circumstances.  And I now realize that Satan was whispering lies that I took as my own thoughts. ‘What if this or what if that?’ In the midst of this battle, I could not remember the invisible reality that God’s word declares, that he is our refuge amidst the storms.  I did not believe he would provide for us in our weariness.  I did not trust I would have sufficient energy to handle my disappointment as well as Mike’s were ‘the worst’ suggestion from Satan to materialize. And I condemned myself for pathetic faith.

Now, 3 days later, I realize our Father doesn’t condemn us.  He knows we are weak.  The blessing of this experience is that I am now on alert to connect strong negative emotions to needs. No, I’m not allowing my emotions to lead me. But I’m no longer going to stuff them, or bypass them.  I want to use these God-given indicators to go inward, to discover what my body, soul, spirit and mind are communicating.

And I want to recall at all times that we have a compassionate Father. Here’s a new favorite verse I’m going to pull out ‘next time’ I find myself in a dire situation:

if you can do anything (Jesus), have compassion on us and help us. Mark 9:22 ESV

Do you believe the minority report?

July 22, 2023

Maria Discouragement, Faith, Fear, Healing, Job 34, Mark 5, Pain, Romans 8, Satan, Trusting God, Unbelief , , , , 1 Comment

While He was still speaking, people came from the house of the synagogue official, saying, “Your daughter has died; why bother the Teacher further? But Jesus, overhearing what was being spoken, said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid, only believe. Mark 5:35-36 NASB

You’ve heard it said that God doesn’t waste any of our sufferings. That he works them for our good.  John Piper, pastor and theologian, has angled this principle in a challenging way, encouraging believers themselves NOT to waste the suffering appointed for them.

My daughter-in-law asked me the other day about sleep irregularities, “What do you think the Lord is showing you?”   Useful question, for it reenforced the truth that we should always be praying as did Job, ‘Teach me what I do not see!’ (34:32)

My latest adventure has been into the world of pain.  Specifically, hip and back pain. Today is day 65. (Yes, I’m keeping a record of this journey).

‘Father, this pain seems to have gotten worse in the last week.  I’m afraid I won’t get better!’ I confessed yesterday morning.  Mark gave me the first scriptural exhortation NOT to fear, but instead to trust what Jesus says and does. A little while later, the Holy Spirit asked, ‘Have you truly handed this pain and fear over to the Lord?’ I responded, ‘How can I, when IT keeps coming back each time I move?’ He shot back, ‘That’s a false report. This is only psychological warfare, employed by the enemy. Don’t believe it.’

This morning, my hip hurt even in bed. Once up, coffee at hand, I journaled to encourage myself: ‘The evidence points to ongoing ‘pain’.  But I will not fear.  I will trust you, Jesus.  No weapon formed against me will succeed, neither poor sleep, nor pain, nor any other distraction. Help me!  I bring my total self to you, Father, Lord, Spirit, Holy Three, worthy of my full attention.  I know you are working this pain for my good, as you do with all affliction and suffering.’

What next came to mind stunned me. A resolve, a conviction. I’m not going to believe the ‘Minority Report’ of:

  • My flesh
  • The world, or….
  • Satan

Instead, I am going to believe the ‘Majority Report’ of:

  1. 66 Biblical writers
  2. The Holy Spirit
  3. Jesus
  4. Father God
  5. All the angels in heaven
  6. the ‘Crowd of Witnesses’ who have gone on before me
  7. Phil and Adrienne, my 2 physical therapists.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but this day, I will look to the Lord.

Do you believe your thoughts?

April 20, 2023

Maria 2 Corinthians 10, Isaiah 55, Satan, Spiritual Warfare , , , , 3 Comments

We…….take every thought captive to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV

Do you ‘vet’ your thoughts? That is, (per dictionary.com,) do you “appraise, verify, or check for accuracy, authenticity, suitability’ every idea or notion that flits across you mind?

I haven’t, up until now!  For decades I have simply lived with my thoughts or tried to distract myself from thinking.

Out of curiosity I checked to see if anyone had studied just how many thoughts the average person entertains in a day.  One report I found mentioned 6,000 as the mean.  Okay….so?  Well, up until recently, I would have concluded that this research is merely trivial.  For I’ve never viewed my thoughts as more than somewhat interesting perhaps, or mostly banal, but certainly harmless.  But is that true?  Paul would disagree.

In his letter to the Corinthian church, Paul brings up the concept of war when he reminds them and us to avoid living according to worldly standards. With that startling introduction of something totally unexpected, the apostle then exhorts them (and again, us) to evaluate our thoughts in terms of life and death, hence the warfare context.

Picture a stranger hanging around a castle’s perimeter, or maybe even walking alone inside the wall. Wouldn’t soldiers grab and interrogate him? Wouldn’t they determine his intention?  For all they know, he could be a spy for the enemy, maybe even a sleeper agent masquerading as one of them. Taking this dude captive and interrogating him would be initial steps before deciding what to do with him. Depending on what they learn, they would decide their next course of action:  execute, imprison, enslave, release or absorb him into that kingdom’s army.

Likewise, I am slowly realizing that I can actually STOP and examine my thoughts.  I must pause long enough to capture them to evaluate whether they align with the cause of our King.

The enemy is expert in disinformation and deception. Let’s call it for what it is. Satan and all his army of foul spirits are skilled in lying. Think of his conversation with Eve.

The devil or serpent planted a piece of false intelligence, the ‘thought’ that God was holding back on them, that he was neither really good or loving. You know the results. Satan learned how effective a bit of dis- or misinformation could be.

He has not changed how he operates since that first garden victory. Our deadly enemy’s ‘modus operandi’ is to do anything to cause us assume two facts:  that the ideas we receive come from us and that they are true.  But a lot of what we think about is NOT true and some of our conclusions have their source in the supreme Liar.  That is why we must stop and examine our thoughts, especially the ones that might trigger strong emotional reactions, whether fear, shame, anger, lust, envy or jealousy.  

Back to our castle image: picture feeling a bit uneasy as you notice a stranger around the fortified city of the king. As an observant watchman or armed guard (and we all are God’s combatants per Paul), you might feel a certain suspicion of danger.

How do I know this stranger, this ‘thought’, is a friendly or in reality a foe planning hostile action?  By grace, we have the King’s battle plan, plus the written history of warfare up to this day and best of all, open-door access to the Lord of the Castle. We can check with him any time.  It might look like this: “Jesus, is what I’m thinking actually true?  What do you think? What do you want me to know?”

The shift I want to make, the new practice I’m trying to implement is Paul’s way of living, based on what God declares about himself in Isaiah 55:8  …..my thoughts are not your thoughts….. (ESV). That implies that Maria’s thoughts are not always God’s thoughts.  Of course, we will never have access to ALL of the LORD’s thoughts. But we do have enough of them to recognize the source.

It’s going to take me a while to make pausing and asking Jesus more automatic. That’s true of any habit we want to form. But I am highly motivated. Each day, I believe more and more that we are in a battle for life with an enemy whose goal is to neutralize us or kill us, whichever works best for him.

How do you apply the Gospel to yourself?

March 24, 2022

Maria 1 Peter 2, Forgiveness, Gospel grace, Holy Light, Romans 7, Satan, Truth, Union with Christ , , , , 1 Comment

I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. Romans 7:15 NLT

My first thought was, “I did not handle that situation well at all!” As I replayed the event with a close friend, I started to feel worse and worse. At the time, I had no idea that I had hurt her. But now it was too late.  Only in fiction do you find those choose-your-own-ending storybooks. Sadly, this was real life and my heart ached.

I slept little that first night as I ran through the events and what I could have done differently. I awoke still feeling sad and ashamed.

It took me until midafternoon to hear the Holy Spirit’s prompt.

I was driving to my exercise class when the Lord brought to mind: Maria, Jesus already died for this!

Then a small kernel of an idea grew: Maria, you have to apply the gospel to yourself.

How does one do that?  I’ve never even thought that through.  But it rang true.  Coupled with that counsel came the truth of God’s sovereignty.  I spoke this fact out loud so my soul could hear:

Satan meant this for evil, to harm your relationship with your friend, but God meant it for good!

Okay, what is the good that can emerge?  I need to look for that.

At the gym, I had about 25 minutes on a cardio machine. To distract my mind, I let it float among these new thoughts.  Almost staccato like, others arrived. As soon as I got into my car, I grabbed the yellow post-it notes and pen that I keep handy.  This is what I jotted down as I applied the gospel of God’s grace to my heart. His assurances included the following:

  • I have not ‘blown it’ irrevocably.  Our relationship may have taken a step backwards, but there’s still time to mend it and grow healthier as friends.  And if it never does heal, well then, one day ALL relationships will not only be restored, but made new and perfect.
  • The truth is, my friend doesn’t know the half of my dark heart.  I’m worse than she realizes AND far more loved than I can even imagine.  Yes, God’s love for me outweighs my sinful, impure motives.
  • Although it’s true that we’ve had issues before that I thought were behind us, apparently the scab had not totally healed. Her accusatory words, some true and others not, were like a severe bump that started the wound to bleed again.

Other counsel from the Holy Spirit included:

  • In this occasion, my assumptions that led to my hurtful action were not correct. Developing the habit of rechecking what I think to be true and running it by the other person could make a difference in future situations.

But what has healed me the most is the image of light. Our God is he who commanded light from the beginning of creation. Supernatural power and protection stream from God’s light. When men encounter Jesus in his luminous light, they fall down powerless. Recall the transfiguration and Paul’s encounter while traveling.

So, in order to stop replaying that scene with my friend over and over, I have flown to the light.  Jesus abides in a circle of light.  Where Jesus is, there is only truth.  All the whispered lies that feel like truth can’t stand the light of God. They only hide in the darkness of fear and shame.

When I’ve been tempted to beat myself up, I have drawn close to the light of Jesus. Several nights have passed and I’ve been able to sleep.

I’m now on a hunt for bible verses about God’s light, aka God’s truth. I NEED that salvific healing balm.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

Another lie bites the dust

September 9, 2021

Maria 2 Corinthians 2, Holy Spirit, Humility, Satan, Spiritual Warfare , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

We tear down arguments and every presumption set up against the knowledge of God; and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 Berean Study Bible

September in Alabama means withering heat. As I watered my ferns the other day, a disheartening thought flooded my mind: ‘Life is just one chore after another!’

‘That’s horrible, Lord! Say it ain’t so!’, I desperately prayed. Immediately, I countered with as many truths that I could muster.  For God has given me the ability to control my thoughts, to capture them and not sink under them. He has endowed humans with rational minds. I am not enchained to the suggestions that flit through my mind.

As I countered this enemy attack, I directed my gaze to the beauty of my plants, to the view I had from our second-story balcony and thanked God for his good gifts.  A new thought flowed from having turned my attention to the Eternal One.  I’ve read that as ‘I AM’, he inhabits each moment, so each of our moments is eternal, because they are stamped with the creator’s mark.

Already I started to feel cheerier.

Once again, I had been caught blindsided, by what I now know as a Satan-suggestion. I’m learning to be more alert for these very effective attacks.

As I’ve written in earlier posts, this season’s sanctification curriculum designed by the supreme guidance counselor, the Holy Spirit, is aimed at humbling me.  That might sound painful, but I’m finding it to be freeing.  Andrew Murray’s book, Humility and Absolute Surrender (assigned by the Spirit and sent to me by Regina) has convinced me of the spaciousness of accepting as gift the awareness that I have been designed to be needy, rather than to be enough.  I am learning to see each little humiliation, disappointment, delay as divine gifts. So far, I have been able to smile when I recognize them.  But, knowing the Holy Coach, he has more challenging training programmed.

The fern incident gave me a helpful insight in what it means to embrace humility.  Part of my obsessive quest to be enough as Maria (the opposite of acknowledging one’s emptiness) has included the capacity to get a lot done.  What’s ironic is that when Satan through watering my plants pointed to an endless stretch of tasks, he thought he could feed my productivity itch with his depressing message. Instead, it reminded me that I was not created to DO, but to BE.

God gave Adam and Eve all they needed in abundance. Furthermore, out of love, he daily sought them out, delighting in their happiness.  Sure, they were tasked with tending creation, but he didn’t fellowship with them to see if they had completed all their chores for the day.

Then Satan entered stage right and they swallowed the evil antagonist’s suggestion of self-sufficiency, thereby rejecting their father’s kindness. They were hood-winked into believing and preferring the idea that they could be enough. That they didn’t need God.  Would that they had humbly brought this plan to their creator for his take on it.

Instead, they fell for the lie, thus enslaving themselves and their descendants to the rule of Satan, the supreme head over the Kingdom of Do.

Out of his never-ending love for us, God has been steadily working his original good plan to free us from Satan.  I can imagine no greater gift than God’s liberation. Through regeneration, he gave me eyes to see the lie and a heart that desired to turn to him. At that moment, the Holy Spirit transferred me into the Kingdom of Be.

Happy humility and restful trust in THIS King are the twin principles of those who understand God’s plan. Yet, Satan doesn’t easily give up.  He keeps marketing the lure, the supposed reward of feeling ‘enough’ through doing more.

For too much of my life, I’ve been a sucker for that carrot. But, behind that fake, glittering prize lies ongoing enslavement and the Sisyphean burden of always doing and never gaining the relief I yearn for. 

Thank you, Holy Spirit, for alerting me yet again to the lie. Help me, by your power, continually to ‘hand over each thought to Jesus’ for him to evaluate it and tell me his truth.  

Is God sovereign over technology?

July 1, 2021

Maria Faith, Isaiah 45, Romans 11, Satan, Sovereignty of God, Spiritual Warfare , , , , , Leave a comment

Being taught something, without putting into practice what you have received in theory is futile. All good teachers teach by that principle.  We know what we know, when we can DO something with it. When we first start applying and using ‘book learning’, we will make a lot of mistakes.  That’s why teachers regularly give us homework and evaluate our progress, often by means of unannounced ‘pop’ quizzes.

It’s no surprise, then, that the model teacher, Jesus, fondly employs this same method.

Fully aware of Jesus’ motives and desire for me to grow through his tailored lessons in ‘being holy as God is holy’, I wasn’t initially thrown off guard yesterday when he handed me an unannounced practical exam. I’ve been working very slowly through John Piper’s latest book, Providence. His developed arguments reinforce what Mike and I have known for some years, that nothing occurs in this world that is not designed and sent forth by God.  The Bible explicitly proclaims this truth throughout both the Old and New Testaments.

For example, Isaiah 45:7 is one of many places where the LORD testifies to his purposeful, planned happenings: I form light and create darkness; I make well-being and create calamity; I am the LORD, who does all these things. ESV

Mike and I are slowly learning to relax and trust God when ‘things don’t go as planned or as hoped’.  That’s why we regularly pray for each other when problems pop up. These days, it seems that many of these unexpected ‘gifts’ are tech issues that suddenly confront us with the potential both to frustrate and rattle us.  God sends them for his good purposes, but Satan uses them, trying his best to cause us to vent, feel anxious, distracted or even angry.

Yesterday, God gave me one such ‘gift’.  Immediately, when a major problem with the raw recording of my latest English without Fear video suddenly occurred, I did not panic. Seldom does a week go by without a few divinely-initiated ‘monkey wrenches’ thrown into the mix.

Since I’m learning to expect problems, I immediately saw and attributed this issue as an opportunity to count on God.  I pictured a smiling God handing me a practice session to see if I really believe what I SAY I believe, that he controls all events in my life.

I talked with him as I worked through one possible fix after another. Nothing helped. 

While I kept trying to fix this issue, my mind played with many thoughts such as:

  • Does God always provide?
  • Can I count on him for this?
  • Is he who he says he is?

I googled the problem and learned that because I had updated the IOS of my MacBook Pro, my video recording software needed an upgrade.  That took time to install. 

Once squared away, a new issue presented itself – the settings! When I recorded a trial video, there was no sound.  I fiddled around, still proclaiming my faith in my sovereign and good Father. Bungling through one change after another, I grew hungry and frustrated.  Yet, I kept practicing patience.  ‘This is from my Father, so he means this for good.  I will NOT let Satan rattle me.’

Time was marching on.  I had a Zoom class to teach at 2 pm, so I temporarily gave up to clean up the kitchen before my class.  Wiping the counters and loading the dishwasher gave Satan the opportunity to heat up the temptation toward self-pity. I could actually imagine myself giving in to a vent: ‘I’ve wasted all this time and I’m still no closer to a solution!’

By grace, I called out to God and told him all the truth I could think of so as NOT to yield to Satan’s whispers. Suddenly, I remembered what I had written in my journal earlier in the morning.  My mom used to say, “For this, I have Jesus.”  I combined that truth with something I heard Kathy Keller share at a conference: “I trust the One who died for me.”

At 2 pm, as my English-language learners entered my Zoom room for our weekly conversation class, I had to leave the entire problem with God.

Ninety minutes later, I ended the Zoom session and checked a text from Graham, our video-content-creator son.  He told me which setting to check in my recording software.  I did and it worked!!! Hallelujah! I texted him and Mike the good news.  God had come through and I had NOT given in to Satan.

‘Well, there’s this week’s blog topic!’ I thought with a smile. Victory in Christ, thanks to his grace.

But God wasn’t finished with me. I woke up this morning and started to edit what had worked perfectly yesterday afternoon.  No sound!!! What?  There’s a Part 2 to this lesson? That DID catch me by surprise.

I had to laugh, though. ‘You must REALLY want me to get this lesson, that from you and through you and to you are all things’ (Romans 11:36).  Nothing happens or fails to happen except by you.  You are the first cause of every event.

What did I do?  I took screen shots of my recording, still in the recording studio software and sent them to Graham and Mike.  Then I had to leave for a doctor’s appointment. Again, I talked to God on my drive to and fro, affirming my complete confidence in his goodness and his plans. And I asked for help.

What happened?  I don’t know.  I couldn’t get the sound to work on what I had successfully recorded yesterday.  So, I did a test video.  There was sound. For the umpteenth time, I recorded my English without Fear episode and it worked. Praise God!

What will happen next time?  He only knows.  But today, I’m rejoicing in his help and in ‘passing the pop quiz of faith’.  Satan, you lost that one.  My God is sufficient.

Incoming artillery barrage from Satan: You’re not doing enough!

June 24, 2021

Maria Guilt, Holy Spirit, Joy, Philippians 2, Psalm 116, Romans 8, Satan, Shame, Spiritual Warfare , , , , , Leave a comment

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set you free. Romans 8:1-2 Berean Study Bible

Oh, the places we have lived and the friends we have made.  England, Virginia and North Carolina enriched us the most. We now live in Alabama. My former school colleagues, church friends, neighbors with whom I WANT to stay in contact now number in the 20s, I would imagine.  These are people for whom I still pray and feel close, but in different degrees. Deciding who is in my ‘inner circle’ has been challenging.  I have limited emotional energy and time to invest. I imagine that’s the same for you.

Add to those different groups of friends from our past, God has planted us in yet another community with new neighbors, church friends and colleagues at Mike’s office.

How have I organized those in whom I invest? There’s my mother-in-law with whom I spend 30 minutes twice weekly on a Zoom call, keeping up with her. Two grandkids I occasionally (depending on their schedules) teach either French or Spanish by Zoom. Then there are two close friends I’ve chosen to invest in. With one gal, I connect daily through Voxer, an asynchronous audio messaging platform.  My other regular friend and I leave lengthy video messages for each other once a week, using Marco Polo. They are the gals who are closest to my heart. 

Yet, I feel overwhelmed with how to ‘handle’ other friends. ‘Shoulds’ distract me and cause me guilt:  

  • I need to schedule a catch-up call with Jane
  • We should reach out to neighbors and get to know them over a meal
  • Martha is a young mom at church with whom I click, I should schedule a walk and talk.
  • I haven’t talked with my sister-in-law in a while; I should find a time soon to connect.

So, what’s the problem?  There is not enough time to schedule in all these people, given my other responsibilities. Plus, I feel guilty in admitting that these ‘shoulds’ feel like a burden.  The background music in my mind keeps playing the same-ole refrain, “Something is wrong with me that I don’t want to stay in touch with everyone; that’s selfish!”

This morning I woke up heavy with, “I don’t do enough to stay connected to people, past and present.”

Journaling my raw thoughts during my morning time with Jesus and my Bible always help me process what I’m feeling and thinking. The Holy Spirit always helps me sort through the yuk and bring me out into the light.

Here’s how once again, he came to my rescue. 

With relief, I wrote down exactly how I was feeling condemned and distracted.  Having finished reading the appointed scriptures for the day, I then opened up my Oswald Chambers app on my phone. The first whiff of freedom emerged. ‘Don’t worry anymore about yourself….’

Copying Oswald’s exhortation, I then wrote this conclusion: ‘Every time I start to think I’m not enough, recognize that I am focused on the wrong issue. Leave it alone and hop over to the most important issue: ‘Jesus, YOU did enough for me.  I am enough IN you.’

That triggered this idea: ‘What if I focused and meditated on your ‘enufness’, Jesus? Oh! Didn’t I recently read something about being sprung from prison?  Yes!  Here it is, from yesterday’s scripture:  Psalm 116:16 You threw open my prison door.

That truth set me to considering a daring suggestion that seemed to spring up from inside.  ‘What if I DIDN’T initiate contacts with my other old friends and new acquaintances here?  What if I just trusted the Holy Spirit to lead people to contact me if they want to catch up?  Could I DARE give that a try?  That would feel SO freeing!

But what about all the exhortations to ‘one another’ and love brothers and neighbors?’

God encouraged me by bringing Philippians 2:13 to mind. You know that statement Paul makes where he writes that it is God himself who gives us the desire to work for his good pleasure.

I looked up ‘desire’ in the Greek.  Glancing down at the various meanings, I dared to hope that this was the answer.  Desire can also be expressed as:

  • being gladly inclined toward something
  • taking delight and pleasure in doing XYZ

With mounting energy, I asked, ‘What excites me?’ I didn’t have to think.  The answer flooded my heart:

  • Writing! Having time each day to write energizes me.
  • Learning Spanish fills me with joy

You know, that line in Philippians clearly teaches that it is God who plants desires in us that conform to his purposes and good pleasure. ‘Could it be that simple? To follow my God-given desires, especially this urge to write?  Is my craft, my calling to express myself beautifully in order to connect and encourage others? Is that why the Holy Spirit daily brings me fresh ideas that link his word with my life?

And the Spanish, well that’s clear. The absolute joy and pleasure of growing more proficient. For years, I taught French to adolescents. Now, I get to expand my areas of fluency, giving me entrée into a different world with fascinating people. Describing my language acquisition process and what I feel inside as a second-language learner thrills me.’

I put my pen down and closed my journal to get ready for my exercise class. Throughout the day, I have been letting these ideas sink in.  I think I’m on the right track, for not even three weeks ago one of my friends reminded me that the Holy Spirit corrects with gentleness.  He doesn’t condemn.

More than just a solution to ‘what do I do with all the people from my past’, God confirmed what he has called me to do.  Satan apparently likes to suck away our joy and burden us with duties that God maybe hasn’t appointed. I’m quicker to recognize Satan’s ploys, that shame-producing condemnation together with distracting thoughts.

Return to your rest, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you! Psalm 116:7 Berean Study Bible.

I’ll let you know what happens, as I leave to the Lord my other friends and acquaintances. I believe I can trust him to let me know when I should engage.

No more stuffing feelings; adventures await!

December 13, 2020

Maria 1 Peter 5, Acts 20, Acts 22, Anxiety, Giving, Guidance, Psalm 55, Satan , , , , , , Leave a comment

Hi Friends

It’s freeing to be able to share with Jesus each messy feeling and perplexing situation that come to me. With no reserve, not filtering out any detail.  And it’s Biblical.

Here are 2 entries from this past week.  What pleasure God gives me, to write daily, but no more than 175 words.  I love the limit!

**

December 10

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you, Psalm 55:22 NIV

…..casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7

Mike grabbed his lunch, headed to the garage. He admitted, “I’m fighting anxiety about this morning’s meeting we prayed about last night.”

Spotting Satan’s tactic I encouraged: “Mike, don’t fight the anxiety!  Cast it on Jesus!  Spit it out; tell Him all the details. Then listen for His words!”

Don’t we all tend to tamp down those thoughts of fear, worry envy, shame, anger….?  We have heard Satan’s lie enough times to believe it: If you were really a good Christian, you wouldn’t be feeling X, Y, Z!

That’s not true!  Remember the father’s confession to Jesus about his son’s healing?  ‘I DO believe, help my unbelief!’

What relief when we confess all to our good Father.  Jesus knows Satan’s tactics, the slight twisting of the Word.  He understands the temptation to accept the lies.

His response?  Life-giving words of Love, not of fear and condemnation. Let’s train ourselves to recognize His voice and trust Him.

**

December 12

You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Acts 20:35 NLT

Spanish renders blessed as: ‘bienaventurado’.

I LOVE this word!  Separating bien from aventurado, you get well, good followed by adventurous, exciting! (Maria’s unconventional musing.)

So, when you GIVE, a great adventure with Jesus follows.  It’s way more fun than receiving a gift.

But, how much do we give? To whom? When do we give? So many questions left unanswered. Especially to one like me who finds it harder to give of my time than money.  Is Jesus calling us to do as He advised the rich young ruler? Sell all our stuff and give the proceeds to the poor? Or, in my case, dedicate all my time to the service of others?

We don’t have to guess, for Paul helps us in Acts 22:10 when he modeled the way: What should I do, Lord?

Jesus invites us to check in with Him, always. What a relief!

And what other great adventures with Jesus await? We can always check back to the Sermon on the Mount where He describes other circumstances, sure to be thrilling.

**

What about you?  What do you hear Him say when you’re honest?

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