Whose faith is needed to relieve burdens?

March 23, 2023

Maria Faith, God's Peace, Isaiah 53, Joy, Our lot, Psalm 55 , , Leave a comment

Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. Psalm 55:22 NLT

the LORD has laid on him (Jesus) the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6 ESV

Yesterday God reminded me to fling onto Jesus all my worries and preoccupying fears.

In looking at the Hebrew term for these ‘burdens’, I see they refer to the ‘lot’ God has given us.  Can that be true? That my ‘burdens’, my issues, my difficult and painful situations, my problems with no visible solution are given to me by God? Well, yes, if I recall that God is the first cause of everything that happens in my life.

Yes, these are circumstances laid on us, and include responsibilities that ‘fall’ to us. Up until now, though, I’ve thought of them primarily as self-generated concerns.  But the Bible clearly teaches us that they are from the Lord himself.

I think this text means that God gives us a physical body, people and possessions to steward for him. They represent our allotment. But we are not to angst about them.  We are not meant to carry them around day and night. He is our good Father, apportioning everything that pertains to them. Provisions we need to manage, handle, live through them come from him. He intends us to depend on him in all our dealings. For those things we don’t have at hand to live with our ‘lot’, we ask him to provide.

Furthermore, he expects us to care for this entrusted ‘lot’ without worrying. He handles them and we obey his on-going promptings throughout each day.

This morning reading Isaiah I saw how the Father himself struck Jesus, causing all the world’s sins to land on him. We know that the Savior willingly bore that burden all the way to the cross until the job was done. I conclude therefore, that if Jesus’ shoulders handled all that, surely, he is capable of taking care of our issues.

In the light of Scripture and with some chagrin I see just how incomplete my faith is, how I don’t fully trust God to take care of me and all that concerns me.

But in these past two days, he’s been encouraging me with insight into a truth that is moving ‘front and center’ in my mind. My life, this world, in reality are all about Jesus. I find this actually to be quite logical or rational, now that I think of it. If God originates all that concerns me, all the individual circumstances of my life…..plus iff he expects me to hand over all the details for him to manage…..then part of Jesus’ oversight includes providing me with daily provisions of faith and strength and wisdom.

About this counter-worldy way to live, for a while, I’ve usually found it easy to accept that the wisdom I need is HIS wisdom. But now I see that the faith I am to exercise is actually HIS faith. Not mine. Ephesians 2:8 explains that faith is a divine gift. We don’t fabricate it. So too is our love. Romans 5:5 describes how the Holy Spirit fills us with God’s love. And I can’t forget joy. Whose joy is my strength? Not mine, but God’s. (Nehemiah 8:10)

What about peace? I certainly want to have more peace of mind, don’t you? Well, the Holy Spirit pinged me last night. I was stretching before bed and thinking over the day. Have you ever run through your mind checking to see if there is anything ‘you need to be worried about’? Okay, you get the picture. I came up with nothing and sighed with peaceful relief. But God caused me to think, “Oh, so is your peace, Maria, contingent on circumstances? Something that I can change in a nano-second? If so, that’s no peace at all. What you really want is MY peace, that settled tranquility and contentment that come from our relationship. Because of Jesus, you are my beloved daughter and our relationship will never change because I don’t change.“

So, the REAL peace I need and crave is also a gift. Friends, what a relief to know that we don’t bring anything to the table. All is from God’s hands: our lot and our sufficiency.

I’ll leave you with something I copied this morning in my journal from the Valley of Vision: “It is sweet to be nothing and have nothing, and to be fed with crumbs from thy hands.”

Are you growing more holy, more like Jesus? How can you tell?

March 13, 2023

Maria Ephesians 4, Holiness, Philippians 4, Spiritual Growth , , , , , , 1 Comment

Let your gentleness be apparent to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5 BSB

A friend of mine has a daughter who drives herself. She is a very hard worker, skilled and competent. But she is too busy. Her mom can see that, as can I. Maybe that’s why an image of an earlier Maria popped into my mind this morning: ‘Grim Maria’.

This is a well-rehearsed character from maybe 15 years ago. Pretty much on a regular basis, I would set myself up with a list of ‘stuff that has to get done’.  Where did all these tasks come from?  I don’t remember. What I do recall is the belief: ‘If it’s gonna be, it’s gotta be up to me!’  My MO (modus operandi) never changed: work past fatigue and then feel resentful.  Mike called that persona, “Grim Bean” (Bean being my pet name).

How refreshing this morning to realize I haven’t seen that Maria in some years.  But thinking about my friend’s daughter, a busy mom and medical professional, I CAN recall being in her shoes. She probably truly believes she has no other choice, that there is no alternative to all she drives herself to get done.  That’s how irrational my thinking was.

Did I set out to quit playing ‘Grim Bean’?  No, that’s the marvel of it all. Since Mike and I as well as our adult sons have moved toward a more reformed theology, we’ve all come to appreciate the fact of God’s sovereignty, his total control over everything that happens in the universe.

Does that sound frightening, that an all-powerful God actually directs every molecule that exists?  Not at all.   This God is not a cold, impersonal force, directing events, nature and people, but a personal, loving and good Father who kindly offers his supernatural help to all his children who depend on him.

As this truth of who God is has sunk into my heart, I have relaxed more and off-loaded much of my life to him. For example, I don’t rush anymore, trying to cram more stuff into my day. I accept with ease what doesn’t get done.  I actually feel at peace with Jesus’ leadership and his setting of the pace of what we do together. I’m learning that none of what I do is truly ‘up to me’.

Our pastor’s sermon yesterday reenforced this posture of yielding control to God. Jim focused on the practice of forgiveness as laid out in Ephesians 4:32. He emphasized that the actions preceding Paul’s exhortation to offer forgiveness along with kindness uses the verb form of ‘Let….. (this action) take place in.’ It’s passive. It follows then that this behavioral change is something the Holy Spirit affects in us. We don’t work at it. We allow God to change us as we meditate on how gracious his initial forgiveness was and the fact that daily he welcomes us to confess and receive his cleansing. His compassions and mercies are as regular and welcome as the dawn’s early light.

I think often about the wonder and gift of having a heavenly Father and God who is in charge of both the universe and me. This is how I can relax throughout my day.  I believe that my inward state is transforming how I present to the world around me.  A gentle Maria is more the norm.

Can you see why I felt so encouraged this morning when the the Holy Spirit prompted the memory of a grim version of me? “Maria, this is evidence of spiritual growth!” 

Nevertheless, God is still about the business of growing my humility, letting me know that plenty of change is built into his holiness curriculum. One of my sins that occasionally reoccurs reminds me of the former Maria.  It’s the desire for someone to feel sorry for me and to offer me praise mixed with pity.  Namely, Mike.  Here’s how that looks. 

Yesterday after having some friends over for an early Sunday lunch, I set out to do some food prep. Two tasks morphed into several so that by the time I finished cleaning up in the kitchen it was almost 3 in the afternoon. Mike was coming down the stairs and I felt the urge to say with a staged self-deprecating sound, “I just finished doing food prep!” But by grace, the Holy Spirit poked me gently and I resisted that temptation. 

Yes, that indicates more growth. But it still shows me that I need to be mindful of how I self-assign tasks. No one is expecting me to spend that kind of time in the kitchen, not even Jesus. In fact, I didn’t even check with him first.  Now that I’m writing this, I see I should have asked, “Jesus, how do you want me to spend this Sabbath afternoon?”

Definitely God is transforming me. But with each step forward, the Holy Spirit gently shows me what the next assignment is. Glad it’s not all up to me!

Am I just burying my head in the sand?

March 3, 2023

Maria Acts 20, Fear of the Lord, Holiness, Matthew 13, Philippians 4, Trusting God, Worries , , , 1 Comment

And now I entrust you to God and to the word of His grace, Acts 20:32 NASB

I spent some time awake last night trying to come up with ways to manage the thinking and feelings of a few people I care about.  Yes, what a stupid goal THAT is and as you could easily predict, I didn’t land on any solutions.  Eventually, I fell back asleep.  But the heaviness of this self-imposed task greeted me straight away when I got up.

As seems to be the pattern, those morning-afters tend to make me very receptive to God’s suggestions. I’ve been listening to a podcast conversation between John Bevere and Christopher Cook about the holiness of God and how we are to fear letting anything come between us and Him.

Obviously, nothing material can separate me from the immaterial God, but boy oh boy can my thoughts shift my mind away from the Holy One. Thinking (or rather angsting) about the ordinary, those created and passing concerns can use up my mental and emotional energy.

Sitting down with my coffee, before I even opened my Bible, I confessed with my pen: “I’m clinging to the idol of an obligation-free, a problem-free, a dilemma-free and a thornless life here and now.  Whereas you command me to cling to you and fear MORE losing sight of you, not hearing from you and being deprived of a sense of you.”

In my heart, I know that God is holy and worthy of the majority of my thoughts.  But I had chosen to put my meditative powers to use in imagining what how others might be judging me.

After time reading some scriptures in Isaiah, I picked up a little tear off daily devotional.  God pinged me again.  The verse was:

Mathew 13:22 (NLT) The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced.

The Greek word for ‘crowded out’ is ‘suffocated’. I see that the worries of my little world and perhaps the occasional national or global issue have been absorbing my attention.  Of course, Satan is at work to cause all of them to seem ‘oh, so important’.

I then thought, “Why would I want to think about anything that weighs me down? Afterall, God offers (and commands) a different way to live. In Philippians 4, Paul exhorts me to stop and shift my gaze and thoughts upward to what and who is worthy of my attention. If I belong to Jesus, then I am connected to the supernatural power of God.  He alone can work out my fear-producing issues as well as the world’s problems.  His common grace given to all mankind together with those in his Kingdom who have access to ‘the mind of Christ’ (1 Corinthians 2:16) are one way my good Father resolves our problems.” 

So, with a glad heart that prizes God more than anything, (help me, Lord!) the Holy Spirit of God reminded me to hand over all these issues, big and small, global and personal.

Gladly, I transferred this heavy and depressing mess to him, offloading all of it at his feet (the Greek term for ‘entrust’ in the Acts 20:32 verse is ‘to lay down alongside).

Then Satan flung the thought: ‘So you’re just going to bury your head in the sand?  Is that how you plan on feeling light-hearted?’

I countered out loud: “Nope.  I’m going to copy Uncle Paul who ‘entrusted’ the Ephesian believers to God’s care, counting on the power of God’s living word of grace to be enough for them.”

I received renewed energy from all this back and forth with Jesus, but I know the battle for my mind continues. I, and you as well, have an enemy set on destroying us.

If it’s going to be, is it up to me?

February 9, 2023

Maria Prayer, Psalm 37, Trusting God, Uncategorized 1 Comment

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will do it. Psalm 37:5 Berean Study Bible

Immersed and imprisoned in the dark grip of binging and purging, I could not conceive of how God could free me.  Afterall, I was the one shoveling cookies or M&Ms into my mouth. No one else was causing this addictive behavior but me.

But God DID rescue me. He DID bring me up out of the pit of despair and I didn’t have to DO a thing. He simply gave me a more compelling desire, that of treating my body better when I found out that I was pregnant with our first child.

Fast forward decades.  This same living God who never changes has periodically directed my way of thinking, lifting me out of my no-exit vision and set me down in a more spacious place with broader vistas.

For the last year, I have ‘needed’ more pocket money than our budget allows. In August, I started praying, waiting for God to direct me. But after a month of no answer, I took things back into my own hands and took on a Friday substitute teaching gig. Yes, the extra money was what I wanted. But it lost me a day. For I had to block off one day a week to be ‘on call’. 

After 3 months, I realized that I had traded time for money.   I realized that I wanted my day back. The dilemma then became:

‘How can I make that extra pocket money without tying up my Fridays?’

I have churned over this for about 2 months, seeing ‘no exit’.

But last week God used a conversation, some podcasts, and time alone with him to lift me up out of this dilemma.  First, our son Graham mentioned in passing that at age 40 he works out hard twice a week.  When he shared that data from a recent medical exam brought him evidence that he is indeed uncharacteristically healthy, that gave me pause.

Next the Lord arranged for me to hear on a podcast that the most important factor in our physical health is the quality of our relationships.  Do we have friends and family members with whom we feel safe enough to be real? Can we express our feelings without condemnation?  

Since for years I have been exercising hard three or more times a week in order to stay healthy, Graham’s revelation coupled with the podcast point struck a chord. Logical reasoning gently led me to the possibility that if I cut back the number of exercise classes I take and pay for in a month, I would have the money I want without having to work on Fridays.

To reenforce that line of thought so I could see that God was behind my ‘metanoia’, my current theological reading has been preparing me to consider intentionally setting aside space in my week to be quiet, to listen to what the Holy Spirit wants to communicate.  All of a sudden, I felt a new energy, a growing desire to gently walk and be quiet, open to God.  This is what Graham does.  Twice a week he goes to the gym and twice a week he walks for 2 hours in the morning, listening to God.

Dilemma solved and direction shifted!

Now I come to a current need and issue.  This morning I gave it to God to handle.  What is this situation and how do I see it?  We live far from our two sons and their families.  I want to see them more.  I want to stay connected. I want to build rapport with our grandchildren. But I don’t know how.  Encouraged by the ‘time and money’ issue, I am excited to see what God is going to do.

As I ended this morning’s time with the Lord, I turned to a new page in my journal and rewrote Psalm 37:5, personalizing it by using other English translations of the Hebrew words.

Maria, roll off of yourself, unburden yourself from these cares/issues/problems/worries. Disengage from them and roll them away and ONTO the Lord.

Hand over your customary way of life and thinking, placing your confidence in Him. That way you can live care-FREE, feeling completely safe.

And HE shall attend to, HE shall put all those things you’ve given him in order. Psalm 37:5 Maria’s translation.

What a promise, what a savior!

How do you ‘measure’ your day?

February 2, 2023

Maria Creation, God's Glory, God's will , 2 Comments

Two new paradigms came my way in the past week – model for evaluating the day’s activities.

Probably like most people, each morning I jot down a list of tasks, meetings and people to contact that day.  I’ve learned to hold these ‘assignments’ loosely, trusting God’s timing.

As I write this reflection piece, we are prepping to travel down to Florida to visit family.  Getting ready takes time away from my ‘normal’ Monday and Tuesday.  This morning as I thought through the day, I felt some stress mounting.

But then I remembered that I don’t have to measure the day according to ‘what I got done’. 

Yesterday during our church’s annual meeting, Joe reminded us how our church and each of us have already received our life’s purpose. (Older English calls our reason for being or existing our chief end):

“What is the chief end of man? Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.” Question 1, The Westminster Shorter Catechism

Joe added that when we pass from this life into the next, our purpose will remain the same.  We will have millennia to glorify and enjoy God.

How’s that for simplicity plus a resounding affirmation of our intentional creation by our supernatural, immaterial, invisible but VERY real God! We have been designed with a purpose, HIS purpose. We are not random accidents.

So, this morning as I tensed a bit looking over my list, the Holy Spirit reminded me, “Maria, your day does not consist in getting things done, checking off your ‘to-do’s’ Remember why I created you!”  I breathed easier.

If that were not enough, the Lord had already gifted me with another larger way to take stock of each day. Last Friday, I read something during my morning meet up with Jesus that prompted this journal entry:

“The most important thing about me is what is immaterial and therefore immortal – my soul!!!”

If that is true, and I believe it is, then shouldn’t I align all I do to support the health and growth of my soul? 

“Maria, what does THAT mean? And how do you relate ‘soul’ work to everyday life?”

I don’t have all that figured out, but I sense this is a seismic shift that has long been coming and for which I feel ready to receive and make the necessary changes in my thinking and thus in my doing.

I will leave you, however, with one particular way to apply these new paradigms of glorifying and enjoying God throughout the day and valuing my eternal soul more than my temporary and decaying body and mind.  If I don’t get to the gym, or pay bills, it’s still a good day if I obeyed Jesus and exercised patience and compassion. I fulfilled part of my purpose in this life, if I handed over all my worries to God and thanked him for everything that he brought my way.

I hope to update you in a couple of months and let you know how the Lord has been changing my daily priorities.

A new way to pray for my family

January 26, 2023

Maria Ephesians 6, Prayer, Psalm 23 , , 1 Comment

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want……..  Psalm 23 ESV

This morning I journaled my version of Psalm 23, personalizing it into a prayer of thanksgiving and affirmation of my trust in God. Here’s what I jotted down.

“With you, God, I will never lack what I need such as rest, or refreshment. I can count on you to restore my soul to its original condition. Each day the world, my sin and Satan’s dirty tricks batter it.

You know how I’m counting on your promised wisdom and guidance this day, for I have no idea what I will encounter. But you do, since you have already scripted it out!

When you, Righteous and Holy God, purposefully lead me into places that feel unfamiliar and sometimes scary, I’ve learned to count on your invisible but real presence. I’ve experienced your protection and deliverances many times before.  I don’t have to see your rod and your staff to trust you.

Who can deny that this fallen world is broken and evil exists? Suffering no longer surprises me. For you have taught me through your word that,

…. our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12 NIV

Over and over again, I have experienced how you publicly affirm my place in your Kingdom Family. Bad things never can threaten my secure place in your Home. Daily anointed, I am invited to enjoy uninterrupted Kingdom food and fellowship with you.

And if that weren’t enough, I know full well that I will never lack your goodness toward me, nor stop receiving your covenantal family love.

Thank you, Father!

Closing my Bible, I moved into a time of prayer for my family.  Usually, I pray for each person individually, according to what I know their specific needs are. I’m personally and permanently connected with 15 different family members. These include Mike, my beloved husband, 2 sons, 6 grandkids, 2 daughters-in-law, my mother-in-law, one brother-in-law and his wife (my sister-in-law) and my favorite cousin. How I pray for them varies, but this morning, after such a reassuring and meditative time with God, lingering in David’s psalm, I chose to pray globally for my family as a whole.

It went something like this:

Father, you have placed me in the lives of these fifteen precious people.  Open their eyes this day and cause them to know that walking with you, they will lack nothing they need.

May they relax into your promised all-encompassing care. This includes, rest, refreshment, restoration, provision, protection, wisdom, guidance.

I don’t know what trials and suffering they will encounter.  But may they count on your promised presence, even in the most frightening events, conversations, or news they receive.

May their afflictions this day not rock their assurance of their forever place in your Kingdom family. Deafen their ears to our culture’s message proclaiming that you don’t exist or don’t care.  Protect them from unwitting and discouraging comments of ‘helpful’ Christians. And block their ears to Satan’s whispered lies which masquerade as their own thoughts.

Strengthen their union with you, Jesus, so they enjoy uninterrupted table fellowship with you.

Finally, shift their eyes upward and give them an expectant hope TODAY of your creative, but sure ways to shower them with your goodness and steadfast covenant love.

And tonight, as they lay their heads down to rest, may they fall asleep mulling over their guaranteed future with you, knowing that the best is yet to come. Amen

I enjoyed praying like this, using one of the morning’s scripture readings. I’m eager to try this again. What helped, though, was first to digest God’s word myself.  Only then could I see how to speak God’s word out loud as an intercessory prayer. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for this fresh way of praying!

Curtain Call

January 19, 2023

Maria 1 Corinthians 2, Kingdom of God, Uncategorized , , , Leave a comment

“All the world’s a stage.”

 William Shakespeare in As You Like It

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9 NLT

My friend Deb works as a dedicated teacher’s aide to a little autistic girl in a K-4 class. Serving this child is her sole assignment. She guides her in paying attention to the classroom teacher in order to catch all the instructions and follow the articulated sequential steps for each learning assignment. Deb knows just what her charge needs having spent every school day morning with her over the past 5 months.

Similarly, our Friend, God’s Holy Spirit, knows us intimately, having lived IN us since we were transferred into the Kingdom of Jesus to live forever with the Triune God. In this realm, we have been assigned to a new life-giving theater or stage. No longer are we held captive by the evil scriptwriter, director and prison guard.

Recently, this metaphor of our Kingdom lives being played out daily on God’s stage has captivated my imagination. As I imagine the Kingdom of God as a theater, I picture myself showing up for another day’s drama.  The point at which I lay my head on my pillow is the close of that day’s drama. Slowly I am realizing that how today’s business ended is not at all an accurate basis for predicting tomorrow’s scenes.  If I try to forecast what will be expected of me and prep for it, I only rob myself of the restorative rest and energy I’ll need for tomorrows’ drama.

But, in God’s theater where I now live, I sometimes forget my new home, where I live. I can quickly fall into old habits of worry and anxiety. These are nothing but long-practiced reactions that created a groove in my brain. I spend little energy in being sucked back into these routines. I knew my lines well for nothing new ever happened in my former prescribed role as a pawn in Satan’s drama.

But each day in God’s drama, new, fresh and creative describe the dimensions in which I live and work. As Jamie Winship, my favorite author from last year, has written, our minds only deal in what has worked up to now. The mind has no fresh, new ideas. It only knows the past.

But here’s the good news about our infinite God who is always doing something new. He is the Creator and it is his nature to generate the novel, imaginative, and freshly beautiful. Stunning us brings him joy.  Sure, our daily scripts include the hard and painful, but we trust him, for he is good, wise, holy, righteous and wise. And he has eternal kingdom goals in mind

This kind of thinking is transforming me. I picture God the Father as the Holy Screenwriter.  Jesus is his Director, to whom each of us as Jesus’ student report morning by morning. Reassuringly, his Divine Spirit, aka our Acting Coach is ever present. 

The Spirit greets us with eager anticipation as soon as we awake, just as my friend Deb welcomes her small student with a smile.

Jesus hands us no script.  He and the Spirit alone have the Father’s playbook. But no worries, all has been prepped and planned. Our Coach supplies what we need at the right Kairos moment.

To me, it feels like I’m an improv actor, since I don’t know the day’s plans. This metaphor keeps me concentrating on the present moment.  I watch Jesus for cues.  I pay close attention to what my brother and sister actors are doing around me. I have my ear tuned and open to the Spirit, with whom I engage in ongoing dialogue.

I’m learning not to even think (or predict) what I will need for the day. How could I possibly imagine the day’s events, my interactions with people who cross my path, since I’m not privy to future plans.  My responsibility is to rely on Jesus and his Spirit.  My Coach is prepped.  He has at the ready all props and and costume changes I’ll require for the day.

Since there is no need to be anxious, I can relax and look forward to all that is new, beautiful and challenging the Father has in store.

So far, this seems to be a far less stressful to approach each day.  And I am growing quicker at catching myself ‘planning and worrying’ in the middle of the night. I remind myself of the futility and waste of God-ordained restorative time for one of his beloved family cast members.

Do you ever show up in the wrong theater, using the wrong script?

January 12, 2023

Maria Colossians 1, Fear, Jeremiah 29, Psalm 127 , , 2 Comments

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21 ESV……for I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

The fear started a few days ago.

After receiving a confrontative response to some back-and-forth communication I had initiated, I knew I had to seek peace with someone in my life.  Listening again to my initial audio message, I saw how I had led off in a rambling indirect way that this person had found very off-putting.  I’m learning that she is very direct.  In contrast, my approach had followed a stream-of-conscious, “I’m thinking of doing such-and-such and wanted to run it by you.” She misheard my rambling words and took them in a way I had not intended. Her swift aggressive response stunned me.

I called her several times before we connected and did my best to mend the rift, apologizing for my way and my words.  I think we’re back to a kind of equilibrium. But the exchange, very uncomfortable for me, left me sobered, chagrined and battling fear.

Early the next morning, I laid out before the Lord all that had happened and asked him to settle me and bring me peace.  What was I afraid of? I told Jesus, „I don’t trust myself to think next time before I speak.  I am afraid that I will NOT be able to communicate with clear and precise language.  I’ve been known to say LOTS of things I later regret.  I’m not good at pausing to choose my words well.”

The Lord tackled the very existence of my fear.  First, he reminded me that I don’t belong to the Kingdom of Fear anymore. As Paul writes, For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, Colossians 1:13 NASB

What does darkness represent? Fear and uncertainty!  The dark hides scary and dangerous situations.  Satan loves to suggest and then stoke tiny fear thoughts within us until they dominate our minds. But if we remember that now as ‘new creations’ who ‘live and move and have our being’ in Jesus’ Kingdom, then we can relax knowing that the air we breathe contains not one fear-molecule.

As I journaled, I saw how I’m going to need to practice noticing each time a fear pops into my mind. Since that morning I’ve been asking myself, “Maria, is that a fear thought about something happening today?”

If the answer is ‘yes’, then that’s my cue to confess it and turn back to the One I am called to trust that day.

If it’s just a hypothetical future scenario that scares me, then I’m predicting what tomorrow’s God-directed script will be. And I have NO perspective from which to see the entire cast and what has occurred up to now. I’m just living in my skin.

Each morning, we meet the Lord in prayer and receive our assignment for the day.  Yes, there is a daily plan in Jesus’ Kingdom theater.  We are to look to our Director for his cues and play whole-heartedly the role He has assigned to us.

Frankly, most of the time my day feels like I’m just ‘improving’.  I don’t know what comes next. But trusting in my Holy Spirit coach, I proceed as best as I can. There’s no need to worry, because all of us in the Son’s cast can be assured that in the end all will work out according to the Lord’s good plan. 

So, why are we plagued by reoccurring fears?  I think that this practice is but a holdover from one of the old scripts we used to follow when we played bit actors in Satan’s show.

But that was before our rescue and transfer into the new Kingdom. We are indeed new creations with roles to play/live out.

As I lay down to sleep each night, I’m trying to remind myself that tomorrow’s scenario is nothing I can predict. God is so creative and is using all that happens today as part of tomorrow’s plan.  My perspective as one of numerous ‘beloved bit players’ is so limited that to worry tonight about what might occur tomorrow is stupid and a waste of time.

My assignment is to rest and trust the One who gives his beloved sleep. (Psalm 127:2)

What does it mean when I’m bored?

January 5, 2023

Maria Humility, Luke 10, Worship , , , Leave a comment

But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor? Luke 10:29 Berean Standard Bible

I confess! I felt bored during church this past Sunday.  Really? Sunday, the first day of a brand-new year? Isn’t that when most people feel the most energized by the hope of new possibilities, potential growth, plans and changes for the good?

I did confess multiple times during the service this sin of a cold heart, “Father, I’m ashamed of feeling this way. I don’t understand my ennui, this impatience with the service.  I’m definitely not worshipping. Forgive me!  Joyce often tells me how much she looks forward to and longs to be fed at church, how those hours with others in worship and in fellowshipping fill her with joy and energy. What’s wrong with me?”

Then two days later, boredom during my Spanish conversation hour shocked me. “What is going on?  Am I just bored with my life?”

Thankfully, God spoke to me through one of Graham’s podcasts.  Although his message centered on business advice, I immediately saw an application to my life. He spoke about how humility in one’s business is the key (and often the missing ingredient) to success.  Explaining that being humble is not thinking poorly of oneself but rather thinking less often about oneself, he counseled business owners to begin with considering how best to serve their customers.

Most entrepreneurs and companies produce products or offer services that support their personal or organizational goals. That isn’t ‘bad’ but Graham suggested first focusing on and analyzing the most pressing needs of clients. He seeks a way to serve his clients, providing what they lack.

I asked myself, “Is this what I’ve been missing in my weekly activities? Maybe entering each morning set on serving others would transform my day. Dallas Willard describes this intention as a ‘to-whom-will-I-be-a-neighbor’ kind of posture. I bet THAT would turn the ordinary into an adventure, since the Lord is in charge of bring ‘neighbors’ across my path!” 

In my day-to-day life a lot of what I do is serve people, since I am retired. I volunteer in various places and in different ways. But maybe, by being more intentional in how I approach the day or the occasion and by studying how best to serve the person in front of me, I will feel more energized and expectant.

A doable practice to implement, I realize, will be how Jamie Winship interacts with the people he encounters each day.  With each contact, he bypasses the formulaic, ‘How’s it going?’ and instead uses a generative (i.e., unique) question, tailored to the individual.  Just how does he personalize his words? He describes leading with a question based on an observation about the person. Maybe the name tag of the grocery store check-out gal provides a clue. Or perhaps the Uber driver’s tattoo could provide an entry point.

In other words, as a first step, I’m to really look at the person in front of me, ‘study them’ so to speak, to learn if there’s a way to serve or help them.

Returning to my experience at church last Sunday, I hope to bring a different heart into worship.  I plan on asking Jesus to help me enter into the community with an attitude that seeks to connect with my brothers and sisters.  Who among them needs some comfort, some encouragement or just a hug? Most importantly, may I worship the Lord, serving him with a glad, thankful AND whole heart.

Why do I keep expecting people to act a certain way?

December 29, 2022

Maria 1 John 3, Fasting, God's commands, Hope, Husbands, Isaiah 58, John 2, Psalm 118, Waiting, Yoke , , , 1 Comment

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You will cry for help, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ If you remove the yoke from your midst, …. Isaiah 58:9 NASB

Christmas Eve and we were returning home from having shared a lovely Louisiana gumbo supper with some friends after the service.  In our warm and cozy truck, I mentioned to Mike that the previous night our bedroom has been too hot to sleep well. I suggested, “How about we just turn off the heat in the house, so the bedroom will be nice and cold?”  He nixed that idea, countering with, “just open the window a crack.” Annoyed because I didn’t think that alone would be enough to cool down the room, I said to myself, “He ‘should’ know how important sleep is to me!”

There it was, an expectation that I had projected on Mike. Only, I didn’t realize that was what I had done.  But God’s perceptive eye didn’t miss it.

As the Holy Spirit would have it, our readings for Christmas Day included Isaiah 58 about the kind of fast the Lord wants his children to celebrate.  The prophet puts it bluntly: we should not fast religiously or selfishly, simply to check it off our list, but enter into a fast with a heart set on worshipping our creator, sustainer and holy God.

As I worked through the first part of verse 9, I felt comforted by God’s promise to respond promptly to my cries for help with a “I’m here!”.

But then my eyes moved on to that ‘yoke business’ mentioned toward the end of that same verse.  I wrote in my journal, “Father, have I placed a yoke on anyone?  Am I expecting others to act a certain way?”

Last night’s conversation quickly came to mind. I DO have and I HAVE formulated expectations of Mike and other family members, and friends, as well. Do these precious people FEEL my dissatisfaction when they don’t ‘meet my standards’?

Yikes! That unarticulated but very real pressure must feel burdensome, especially on those who live with me, like Mike.  Others might feel the sting of my occasional disappointment, but Mike surely notices the ‘yoke of expectation’ that I hang on him.

We fragile human beings can never satisfy the impossibly high criteria OTHERS use to evaluate us.  I should know NOT to engage in that practice, since I have suffered the pain (and shame) of family members’, friends’ and bosses’ pointed dissatisfaction with me.

What is the solution?

Well, I can’t control what others think of me, but God has given me Holy Spirit power to change my thinking.  He commands Christians to renovate their minds, their way of thinking and concluding through a a changing heart, one saturated by his word. And what Jesus commands, he makes possible.

Since Christmas Day, I keep reading scripture that reenforces this message. We are to hope in God, not people. ‘Hope’ can be translated in both Hebrew and Greek as ‘to expect or wait for someone to act’.

Psalm 118:8 NKJV says: It is better to trust in the LORD, than to put confidence in man.

Even Jesus didn’t trust people, because he knew them: But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, because He knew all people…John 2:24 NASB

John Piper, in a recent devotional reflected on 1 John 3:23: This is His commandment, that we believe [with personal faith and confident trust] in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and [that we unselfishly] love and seek the best for one another, just as He commanded us. NASB

He distilled John’s teaching to something I am meditating on throughout the day:  Trust Jesus, Love people.

God is the only person in the universe who deserves our trust and won’t disappoint me.  Shouldn’t that fact free us up to release our unfair and unverbalized expectations of people that we hold in our hearts?

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