Psalm 119:11 – I have hidden your word in my heart in order that I might not sin against You.
This truth stopped by to visit the other night.
It was one of those typical but painful scenes that happen from time to time.
You know those kind – when one person has spun himself into such an annoyed, touchy, tither that he can’t get out of it gracefully. And you find your interactions adding fuel to the fire. Furthermore, you feel justified in your self-righteous response as ‘victim’ to the high emotional detritus from the other.
We had eased into the evening routine gracefully AND gratefully, happy to be together after a day at work. But something little set him off while we were fixing dinner. The irony is that it occurred while we shared what God had revealed to each of us in our reading and study of the day’s assigned two chapters in Leviticus (Chronological reading plan).
We stepped over that blip and in the course of the next few minutes talked about Noah’s sons and how Shem and Japheth had graciously covered their dad’s nakedness when Ham had sported to them gleefully about the effects of too much wine. Through our remarking about the grace given, God moved that scene into my active memory drawer.
Then came the blow-up. Over something minor. But anger and some internal self-recriminations took over his emotions/thoughts. I catalogued his reactions to the file of ‘jerk-like’ behavior.
In silence we finished dinner. I cleaned up and he headed downstairs to the ‘man-cave’ to smoke his post-prandial cigar.
While feeling self-righteous, though lamenting what had just transpired, the Holy Spirit reminded me of this fact: He loves Mike just as much as He loves me! My heart softened, climbing down off my high horse. Two feet back on earth, the quick divine jab brought me to repentance. How so? God used the Genesis Bible passage recently moved to the easy-access memory drawer.
Shem had shown his father grace by covering his sin (sprawled-out drunken naked body) with a blanket. (Genesis 9:23) “Can’t you do the same for your husband?” came the Holy Spirit question.
It was gentle but forceful and it caused tender love to well up. No condemnation from God, just a sweet push forward toward my husband. I texted him downstairs, writing how much I loved him cum ’emoticon’. No response. But when the tired thud of reluctant steps mounted toward the living room, I was ready to enfold him in light and love. He started to explain that he didn’t know what had come over him. That he didn’t know how to get OUT of the pit. I stood up, moved toward him and embraced him in my arms, soothing my wounded, now-softened best friend and husband.
“It doesn’t matter why or how it happened. Just rest. I love you. It’s okay. We all get ourselves in messes. Let’s put it behind us and enjoy the rest of the evening. Whatever ‘it’ was about, our fleeting time together is more precious to us.”
Just like that, we dropped it, relieved.
Score another victory for God’s Word – sovereignly pointing out my sin and enabling me to counter Satan’s false murmurings. My gratitude to the dear Spirit of God deepened, as did my desire to offer this grace covering more widely and more frequently. It felt good!
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