From Helicopter Parent to Helicopter Wife

May 2, 2024

Maria Answers to Prayer, Holy Spirit, Marriage, Parenting, Prayer, Proverbs 3 , , , , , , Leave a comment

From Helicopter Parent to Helicopter Wife

Yes, I admit, I was one of those moms.  Even before the term grew into a household word, I would try to remove difficulties from my boys’ lives. If I’m honest, I was more motivated to make their lives easier for my sake. I don’t like people around me to be unhappy. 

That’s pretty naïve, given that in this life, we are guaranteed afflictions. Unfortunately, I grew up with a father who modeled trying to keep everyone happy. Peace at any cost.

For most of our sons’ growing up years, I was not yet a biblical Christian. Nor had I even heard of the caterpillar-cocoon-butterfly analogy. We’ve all probably heard the story of how someone with good intentions trying to ease the struggle of the emerging butterfly actually doomed this beautiful creature to an early death by helping her to emerge from her cocoon.

One time when our oldest son was in 8th grade, he felt his English teacher wasn’t treating him fairly. We called for a meeting with the teacher so Graham could air his grievances. In hindsight we should have encouraged him first to seek a solution himself with the man.

To my shame, I even had my husband write one of Graham’s college professors his freshman year when he earned a C that first fall semester.

This same tendency to want to ‘magic away’ our sons’ problems wasn’t confined to just them. Rather, I have brought that pattern into my marriage.

For years, just because I desired a ‘happy husband’, I’ve tried to fix things for my husband without him asking for my assistance. This is called ‘mothering’ as I recently read.  Mothering one’s children is appropriate (though not in those ways I tried to shield Graham and Wes from good growth opportunities).  However, treating an adult man (and especially my husband) that way is demeaning and dishonoring.

I’m learning now how I’ve made an idol of a ‘pleasant life’.  I’ve been slow to realize that people’s feelings are their responsibility and that upsets and problems can’t be avoided. On the contrary, difficulties provide opportunities for us to grow. Healthy families support one another during trials, offering empathetic love.

In addition, Christian parents and spouses have been given the gift of calling upon Jesus on behalf of the families.  I’m beginning to learn how when we have to struggle with the Lord’s help through a situation, we learn something more about God.  So, why would I want to stand in the way of that kind of blessing for family or friends?

Back to our kids, I do see that despite trying inappropriately to spare Graham from the reality of a mediocre college grade, God guided us to allow him to work alone through a crisis with the Lord.  After that first semester of college, Graham felt dissatisfied with James Madison University and the traditional college track. We allowed him to apply over Christmas to Berklee College of Music. The problem arose when he got accepted and he had to make the decision what to do, whether to stay at JMU after this first year or move to Boston.

As he had been growing as a Christian, we let him struggle with God and pray through the decision.  Wrestle he did, going back and forth in whether he should stay or go for about a month.  One morning, all of a sudden, as he explains it, he awoke feeling he should stay at JMU and not leave. He let that decision sit and as it persisted into the next day and beyond days, he realized that the Lord had indeed led him to an answer. And all through prayer.

Looking back, I see the benefit of treating him as an adult and allowing him to work it out with God. Seeing the Lord actually guide him in a decision about real life, a crisis, changed his faith from theoretical to real.

I know he would say that this was the right decision because once he decided to stay, he threw himself into college life. He formed a band with two friends and met Shay, his wife of 17 ½ years.

Recently, Jesus has been pointing me to how I have perhaps NOT been as good a wife to my husband as I should. For my own sake, I have attempted to create, reframe or control events just to avoid having to deal with the normal frustrations Mike has felt at various times.

It’s not like I don’t have a good example of a mature spouse who trusts the Lord and treats others as he would like to be treated.  He doesn’t try to solve ‘my problems’. He only weighs in when I ask for his advice. 

I welcome the opportunity to make some changes, especially when directed by the Holy Spirit!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. Proverbs 3:5-7 NIV

I’m a slow learner in God’s school of Holiness

April 25, 2024

Maria Forgiveness, Genesis 3, Holiness, Philippians 1, Romans 7, Sin , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15 ESV

I don’t know when I started realizing that what I was learning in God’s ‘school of holiness training’ was not sticking. Naively, I assumed that once I ‘learned my lesson’ and practiced the new behavior, I could move on to something else.  At a certain age, maybe in my 40s, I began to see that Jesus was recycling past teaching points over and over. When I would mention this phenomenon to some older-in-the-faith Christians, they would flash a gentle, but knowing smile of agreement.

For example, I’d have victory over fear by God’s grace, only to fall back into imagining the future as though it were up to me and my limited resources.  How embarrassing that I could forget what had I had painfully learned not that long ago about the sin of fear.

Or, I would have been gently chastised by Jesus for boasting and talking too much about Maria, repented and relished one, maybe two victories.  Only to catch myself repeating the same self-centered behavior. 

The Holy Spirit reminded me this week of another sin pattern that I have yet kill. My sometimes-patronizing attitude with Mike.

To the woman he said, “……. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 NIV

It happened like this.  The other night, Mike started to share with me how discouraged he felt about his YouTube channel where he reads children’s classics out loud. He has a good voice for reading, is skilled at narrating, recording and editing audio books. This channel is his gift to anyone who loves to be read to. He does it without seeking compensation.

What was causing him to feel pessimistic and disheartened? The relative few views of some recent videos. 

Instead of listening quietly with love and compassion, I launched into ‘Parent Mode’, practically interrogating him on his motives for starting the channel. And how he should not only not look at his YouTube analytics, but should also go out into the community and find children or senior adults who would love to be read to.

Had he asked for my advice?

What motivated me to be so didactic instead of gentle and patient, intent only on understand his feelings?

It was Eve’s sin, that of wanting to rule over, to shape and mold her husband according to HER image of what he should be like.  I’ve done this numerous times. It is disrespectful and puts distance between us. 

I could tell that I had gone too far but I tried to cover for myself by saying, “I’m so glad we have reached the point in our marriage where we can speak the ‘truth in love’ to one another.  Afterall, I give you permission to speak into my life, too! “

You need to know that Mike NEVER treats me this way. If he thinks I am doing something wrong, he’ll tell me directly.  He won’t manipulate and hide his ulterior motives like I do.

I went on trying to soften my ‘lecture’ by adding, ‘Keep adding more content to your channel. This is a really good and worthy project.  It doesn’t matter if it only benefits a few people. It’s your gift to others, however many or few.”

Poor Mike didn’t know how to deal with the mixed messages I was sending.  

With no real resolution, we transitioned by watching a Netflix series we like while eating our supper. The evening passed without any more discussion on that topic.

That night, I couldn’t sleep.  God gave me severe leg cramps and some arthritic pain. When I sat down with him yesterday morning, he had my full attention.  It was only then that I saw my sin. And felt shame, remorse and pain for how I had hurt Mike.

What made it harder to swallow was that this is not the first time I have ‘scolded’ my husband.  This is neither loving nor honoring to him, nor to God the Father who created him nor to Jesus who died for him.

When Mike got up a while later, I immediately confessed my shameful display and asked him to forgive me.  He was so gentle and comforting to me.  I also asked him to pray for me to be the kind of wife God intends.

With each lesson repeat, I see how gracious and patient the Holy Spirit is with us.  Yes, we fail. Yes, we have to relearn lessons and practice new patterns of thinking and acting. The good news that brings me peace is this assurance, this promise:

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6 NLT

Look who is praying for you!

November 9, 2023

Maria 1 Corinthians 6, Holiness, Holy Spirit, House of Prayer, Intercession, Prayer, Romans 8 , , , 3 Comments

The one who searches our hearts knows what the Spirit has in mind. The Spirit intercedes for God’s people the way God wants him to. Romans 8:27 GOD’S WORD® Translation

Somehow, up to now, I’ve glossed over this stunning verse that precedes the famous Romans 8:28. But, the other morning, after reading Oswald Chambers’ devotion for 8 November, I suddenly saw what a multi-faceted gift we actually have received when God placed his Spirit IN us.

Just imagine!  God has a specific will for you and me and his Spirit actually asks the Father for this divine will to be done in us.  Of course, you and I are to pray for ourselves and invite friends to join us in calling upon the Lord. But we have almighty God in us speaking his word over us, his living, irrevocable word.  With confidence, we can rest in the surety that God’s word never fails. His ultimate will for us shall come to pass.

That fact cheers me up greatly.  Why do I worry? If the Spirit is praying for me even without me knowing the specifics, then I will submit with gladness and relief to what the Father desires to be so in my life. I will seek to obey (help me Holy Spirit!) what I explicitly know from Scripture and keep attentive to Holy Spirit nudges.

After cheering us with this on-going spiritual gift, Oswald then reminds us of our part in the Spirit’s work. That is to keep our ‘house of prayer’ clean.  He links Jesus’ anger over ongoing commercial sales in Jerusalem’s temple with Paul’s reminder about the status of our bodies:

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?      1 Corinthians 6:19 (NLT)

Oswald draws his reflection to a close by explaining how to keep this place of prayer clean. We are to tend to our conscious thoughts and mind our conscious actions.

Researchers tell us that the majority of our thought life is taken up with the unconscious. If that is the case, it’s a relief to know I’m only responsible for the thoughts of which I am aware. 

That might feel like a tall task, to take each thought ‘to task’ and judge it. To examine each speculation, determining whether it honors God or shows disrespect. And then to toss what is offensive into the garbage dump of all that is untrue, demeaning, ugly, evil, wrong, defiled and unbecoming one of God’s family members.

But friends, I offer a sweet consolation that motivates me to WANT to clean up my thought life. If by throwing out the junk that clutters my conscious mental world, I can create more room for the Spirit…..or i f I can make his abode a more attractive and pleasing space for him to intercede for me, why wouldn’t I? I want ALL the godly prayers He is willing to offer on my behalf.   And if you are like me, then you too want more of what our triune God has to give.

Let the house cleaning begin!

Focused on the wrong thing

July 1, 2023

Maria Anxiety, Kingdom of God, Luke 12, Worry , , , , , Leave a comment

And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying.  Luke 12:29 NASB

Do you ever find yourself amazed at how the Lord persistently brings to your attention just what he INTENDS for you to put into practice?

These Holy Spirit messages don’t come with a hint of exasperation, as in:

‘What is wrong with you, woman!  I’ve been showing you this for years now.  Are you a slow learner, or what!’

On the contrary, although, for the record, I am a slow learner.  Whether in acquiring another language or memorizing scripture or simple life lessons, I require LOTS of repetition.  For instance, throughout our marriage Mike has exhorted me over and over to go for a larger-sized pan or container in the kitchen than I think I’ll need.  Irrationally I default to one too small, reasoning that: if I use something smaller, it’ll take me less time to clean.  Predictably, I end up transferring the food to the larger pot or dish and extend my washing-up time.

Over the past twelve months, a successive series of physical challenges have exacerbated my already-obsessive focus that I by nature bring to any new topic. I have ‘binged’ on videos about nutrition, sleep, pain, little ‘t’ traumas and emotional healing.

But Christ’s holy spirit, determined to redirect me away from what might be a ‘good’ thing, that is taking care of my body, to the best thing, God, himself, has changed his means.   He has raised the volume of his communication with me from whispered guidance as described by Elijah to bullhorn-style but loving instruction. It’s become obvious to me this week that up to now, I have heard, but ignored his softer, quieter voice.

Yes, he has unceasingly shown me that my focus is completely misplaced. This morning, the Spirit pointed me to Jesus’ teaching as recorded by Luke when our Lord exhorted his followers to seek foremost his kingdom. In a bit of research, I learned that another word for ‘seek’ (Greek Zeteo) is ‘to focus on’.

That bit of Greek word study hit its intended target.  I have been focusing (seeking) and investing an unhealthy and inordinate degree of energy and thoughts on my body. Furthermore, through practice, I have become a minor expert in concentrated anxiety. 

Luke’s manner of describing the habit of anxious thought or worrying struck me particularly when I looked up the Greek. Appearing only once in the New Testament, Luke employs a graphic image to illustrate what Jesus meant when he warned us of the dangers that befall us in fretful thinking.  Occurring only once in the New Testament, meteōrizomai means to rise up and down, unmoored, like a ship tossed about in a storm.  For me and maybe for you as well, we often create our own tempests through our wrong thinking.

Last night, reading R. T. Kendall’s latest book, The Sermon on the Mount, I copied down Luke 12:31 (ESV) Instead seek his kingdom…… With that teaching fresh in my mind, coupled with what the Holy Spirit brought to me this morning, I found myself dumbfounded by the two uses of the word, Seek.

That’s it!  I’ve been focusing my attention, letting myself BE consumed by the wrong matters.  For me, I need to give up that almost all-consuming meditation on what will make my body feel good. The Holy Spirit is directing me to shift my day’s purpose into focusing on or seeking the conscious presence of Jesus and his enabling grace. 

What a contrast!  The one has become soul-sucking and the other promises to be life-giving.

Rescue me from my dark thoughts!

May 26, 2022

Maria God's goodness, God's love, God's presence, God's Promises, God's Purpose, God's voice, God's Word, Psalm 143, Union with Christ , , , , , 1 Comment

These days I seem to be hungry and desperate for only what the psalms can feed me. I’ve been waking up with a heaviness.  At the moment, nothing comes to mind. But when I start to read the appointed psalm, I realize how dry and desperate I feel.  God’s words soothe me. I linger over certain verses, taking the time to look up how the Hebrew is worded, and what the words actually mean.

On Tuesday, the Holy Spirit used Psalm 143 to calm my anxious heart.  I wrote in my journal, personalizing the psalmist’s own words as a plea to God.

Verse 7: Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails!
Father – I feel depressed. I need you. I don’t know what’s wrong. Help me!


Verse 8a: Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

I DO trust you. So, please, DO show me what to do, what to think, the way out of my oppressive thoughts.  I can’t think of anyone else I can go to without fear of judgment.  I even cancelled my appointment with a counselor I’ve used. Human help, even from good friends, can’t give me what I need, what I crave.

Verse 8b: Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord!
    I have fled to you for refuge.

Oh – I forgot, I DO have enemies.  Satan is the oppressor of my soul. Thank you for reminding me that you alone are a safe place, someone who always welcomes me because you love me. May I show your worth by coming first to you.


Verse 10a – Teach me to do your will, for you are my God!

Here’s where my Spanish translation helped me.  One word for teach in Spanish can mean both teach and show.  Isn’t an effective teacher one who doesn’t just talk, but works alongside a student demonstrating how to do something?  The same with God’s training.  We all need a master to whom we are apprenticed.

Father – I see that since you are my God, you also have your plans for my life.  Since I belong to you, you expect me to follow YOUR way towards YOUR goals.  Thank you for that reminder, since I’m prone to go my own way, intent on achieving my own goals, independent of you.   But I can’t go YOUR way or even remember to follow you, unless you help me, breaking into my little ‘Me World’.


Verse 10b: Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!

Again, I checked out the term for ‘good’.  Hebrew’s broad definition includes: ‘kind, happy, cheerful’.  Well, THAT brightened my mood to read that when I ask for God’s help in learning (and desiring) to do his will, his spirit permanently implanted in me will instruct me.  My lessons will be happy lessons for this teacher is kind and cheerful.  He obviously likes his job!

Verse 11: For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life!
    In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!

Father – thank you for this word ‘trouble’.  It covers all sorts of distresses, fears and problems. You have made yourself to be my go-to-rescue source for any and all things that bother me!


 Verse 12: And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies, and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul,
    for I am your servant.

What a relief to know that yes, while I have real enemies who are hostile and evil (think Satan and all his dark side servants), I need not fear for you WILL eliminate them. That is a promise.  And why? Simply because I belong to you. I am your servant as well as your child and Jesus’ little sister.  Belonging to your family brings untold of blessings.

Thank you, Father!

And so, you can see, dear fellow pilgrim, how precious God’s psalms are to me.  Each a chest of treasures.  Which psalm has God used recently to encourage you?

Entering a new decade with God

July 7, 2017

Maria Ephesians 3, God's Promises, God's Purpose, God's Word, Hope, Mark 7, Proverbs 4, Romans 8 , , , , , , 2 Comments

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

It was early fall; I shared lunch with a fellow teacher about 15 years older than me. “How did you cope with turning 40?” I asked.

Her response startled me: “Have you ever heard of Bible Study Fellowship?”

Intrigued, I joined as soon as I could.  And God changed my life.

At 50 I switched schools. Summit Christian Academy in Yorktown, Va hired me, a French teacher, to teach civics, US history and LOGIC!  My qualifications?  An initial BA in Foreign Affairs from UVA.

I had to google ‘Logic’.  And God changed my life.

Sweet 60 is my soon-to-be demographic.  A new decade.  I ponder this significant celebration. It feels different. I know God so much better now.

Over the past 20 years, He has taught me to live by some fundamental facts. (Does that make me a ‘fundamentalist’?)

  • He does all things well (Mark 7:37)
  • He is good
  • He is sovereign
  • I belong to Him, for He has given me His Spirit. (Romans 8:9)

Those truths settle me.  His holy gift of peace permeates.  Being one of His sheep is enough.

No, I don’t know what my Father has in store for me as this new decade dawns. But one thing I do know: I trust Him.  And He promises a happy future for every son and daughter, liberated by Christ. (Matt 25:34)

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. Proverbs 4:18 (ESV)

How God is changing my will

April 16, 2017

Maria Ephesians 2, Ephesians 6, Gentleness, God's Purpose, God's workmanship, Philippians 2, Service, Struggles, the Heart , , , , , , , , 10 Comments

Philippians 2:13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

Lots of unholy churn and inward griping have colored my past 3 3/4 years teaching French to middle-schoolers.  I have prayed for God to open the door to other jobs that pay as much but

  • don’t include a commute of at least 1 hour 40 minutes on a traffic-free day
  • don’t place me in a sometimes hostile anti-Christian environment (secular school)
  • don’t require me to face the burdensome daily challenge of teaching French well and creatively to middle-schoolers

And in His good and wise providence, God has kept me in that job!  So I have prayed, very reluctantly, for Him to change my will, my desires.  Do you ever pray like this, a kind of ‘please God, but I’m not sure if I want you to‘ type request?  This is how I’ve been praying:

  • Father, if I have to continue to work THERE, then at least change my heart so that I more light-heartedly teach/work/serve at that school.  But, Father, I’m actually hesitant to ASK You to change my heart.  I don’t think I WANT to want that, to work contentedly there.  I just want OUT!

But God HAS changed my heart through a shift in my thinking that could ONLY have come about this way.

It was a combination of a Charles Spurgeon selection from his book Morning and Evening, a John Piper devotional one night, some scripture in a prayer I was praying through that my app Prayermate had fed me and a John Piper archived sermon the next morning.  All within about 11 hours.

One of my whiny refrains I kept replaying in my mind leading up to those 12 hours was, “My heart is just not in teaching French to middle-schoolers any more!  I’m tired of the burden. And besides, I’ll be 60 in a few months, maybe I don’t have what it takes to relate to them!”  I can get REAL good at excuse making.

By means of 3 verses, He had shifted my thoughts toward the end of the 11 hours (an evening, night and early morning), which gently but abruptly changed my desire:

  • Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them.
  • Ephesians 6:7 Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
  • Colossians 3:23 Whatever you are doing, let your hearts be in your work, as a thing done for the Lord and not for men.

And just like that, with the gentle Holy Spirit memory prompting, He brought those living facts and commands into my heart and mind and something occurred instantly.

In a flash, I saw how sinful AND LAME my whininess had been.  I pictured those sins as adding to the crushing weight of sin that Jesus willingly took on for me.

The next thought was:

  •  If I can’t teach whole-heartedly for THEM, those kids, I CAN do so for God.  By His power.
  •  In fact Maria, your Father created those works at this school right now for you to do as a new creation.  He has equipped and fitted you to do just that.  And that is why He has kept you there in that job.  It has been His intention all along.  He has purposes for you to serve Him in that environment.

That was a Wednesday.  I lived with new freedom and awareness throughout the day, actually enjoying myself.

Cautiously I embraced Thursday.  Same thought-altering feelings prevailed. And Friday as well.

It’s Spring Break this week.  The days are flying and soon Monday will come.  But I’m not dreading it.  With His help, I CAN do what He has willed for me, what He commands me to do.

Here’s the truth:  what God commands, He equips us to do and we have no reasonable defense to resist.  Thanks be to God!

God’s sense of humor – my lunch hours

November 20, 2016

Maria Ecclesiastes, Evangelism, Holy Spirit, Uncategorized , , , , , Leave a comment

For 3 years I resisted.  Finally, BEGRUDGINGLY, I gave Him one lunchtime per week. After all, that Holy Spirit can be a pretty persistent Friend and Counselor.

As a busy teacher, I cherish my lunchtime to catch up on personal email when neither duties nor meetings take precedent.

Most of my fellow teachers share lunch and conversation in the foyer, eating and socializing at an oblong table.  I have KNOWN I should join in, especially if I want to develop relationships and be available for Gospel opportunities.  But I have selfishly hoarded lunchtime, justifying my choice by reasoning that I use those minutes to encourage friends via emails and catching up on reading some quality posts.  All true, but……as God teaches in Ecclesiastes 3:1 There’s a time for everything and a season for every activity under the sun.

So under the gentle but persistent pressure of the Holy Spirit I yielded and agreed to dine with my fellow teachers once per week.  I even taped an index card on my desk to keep myself accountable, jotting down the date of my ‘ weekly sacrifice’.

To my surprise, I have found that I truly enjoy this social time with colleagues, even to the point of choosing more than once a week to join in the group.  God does have a sense of humor and doesn’t give up on stubborn daughters who think they know what is best for them.

Two benefits:

  • A tangible reminder that God changes our desires so we can find delight in obeying Him

Luke 11:28 – ……how blessed are those who hear God’s word and obey it!

  • I actually was given an opening to share why I am happy as a Christian and to explain the Gospel briefly at one of those lunchtime table talks.

May this experience make me more willing NEXT time to obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit!

 

Keep your roots in good soil

October 9, 2016

Maria John 15, Psalm 92, Spiritual Fruit , , , , , , 1 Comment

tomato-in-soil  The zucchini failed, the cucumber baby plants did not thrive, but our container garden yielded tomatoes.

These tomato pots have shown me over the past 4 months that if the soil is good, and God provides adequate sun and water, that is still not enough to produce a crop.

All vegetation, if it is to yield fruit, must have its roots planted in the soil.  That is crucial. (yes, I have heard of hydroponic cultivation!)

Aren’t we Christians the same?  According to Jesus, we will grow naturally, without working at it, if we are immersed in His Word, sucking up nourishment because it satisfies like nothing else.

John 15:4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

I recently noticed in this verse that the verb Jesus uses is to BEAR fruit. We don’t GROW the fruit ourselves.  We just let fruit sprout and flourish.

As the Holy Spirit gives growth, He causes our new nature to develop characteristics like joy and patience, gentle responses and kind actions, to name a few.  This Holy Spirit fruit in turn feeds and fertilizes us, resulting in deeper and sturdier roots and an ongoing yield.

I like how the inspired psalmist described the process in Psalm 92: 13-14: 

Planted in the house of the Lord,
They will flourish in the courts of our God.
[Growing in grace] they will still thrive and bear fruit and prosper in old age;
They will flourish and be vital and fresh [rich in trust and love and contentment]; (Amplified Bible)

I’ve noticed some dying leaves on my October container plants, but I’m still getting salad tomatoes. How encouraging for all of us in a Western society that abhors and tries to hide from aging.  Since we don’t have to rely on ourselves to ‘add value’ we can relax and allow God generate all and any good yield.

Will you be disappointed to know what God’s will is for your life?

August 23, 2015

Maria 1 Peter, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Corinthians, Holiness, Leviticus , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

I’m ashamed to admit that in my early years as a Christian I used to brag about my UN-answered very ‘selfless-sounding’ prayer when Mike and I were in a career bind.  We were living in England and he was ‘stuck’ in a commission-only sales job and hated what the stress was doing to his body.  Nurtured by a small group from our church, we began to learn about God from the Bible.  Since we were in a bind about this job crisis, we crafted a spiritual request:

  • Father, just show us your will and we will do it!

No matter how much we pleaded with God, we didn’t receive any nudges or clues from God about what to do job-wise.  In the end, we stumbled our way through several dead ends and moved back to the States.  Even after we were finally settled into a new career path for Mike, I often shared the story of this ‘failed’ prayer request.

It wasn’t until years later that I learned what God’s will for my life was.   It’s the same as for your life, if you are a Christian. And it’s bigger than individual problems or unpleasant life circumstances.

It’s called RADICAL HOLINESS. 

radical

Before you flinch at either word, BREATHE!  We’ll look at each word and find some good news.

Let’s take up first the term, ‘holy’. It should come as no surprise that God wants us to be holy.  He started with Abraham and grew a separated people, the Hebrews, to BE holy. The OT is the story of how they, like us, kept failing at their calling.  Take a look at a few verses:

  • Be holy, as I am holy  (found in the OT, for example in Lev 20:26 as well as in the NT, for example in 1 Peter 1:16)
  • For it is God’s will that you should be holy (or sanctified) 1 Thess 4:3   holiness or sanctification is Hagiosmos in Greek  (we get the word hagiography, referring to stories about the saints, aka believers)

What about the first concept of ‘radical’?  Is that crazy-wild holiness like John the Baptist, complete with eating flying insects and getting stung gathering honey?

john the baptist

Not specifically. I don’t doubt that this forerunner committed his life to growing into God’s holiness.  But the TRUE meaning of radical is ROOT.  We are to be like God down to our very roots, not just LOOK holy to wow each other.

It’s the difference between eye-impressing pietistic outward behaviors and growing in godliness from the surface all the way to your core.

I have to admit that on the surface that might sound boring.  If so, then the fault lies in me and how I think about holiness. There’s also the very real problem that God is committed to transforming me closer to the image of Jesus, whether I find his goal for me exciting or not!  And he does this by…….

organizing one training exercise…… after another trial….. after some practice after..  every single day! (repeat until we graduate, aka go to be with him!)

I was reading a bit last night in John Piper’s book, Future Grace.  His premise is that all of God’s promises in the Bible are units of grace that are future to us. AND they are as sure as God himself is the following:

  • who he says he is (as written in His book, the Bible),
  • and who he has demonstrated himself to be (evidence from the past – both in others’ lives and ours).

Piper connects actually relying and believing God’s promises with growth in holiness.  Here’s his quote,

  • I pledge myself to a holy dissatisfaction until my thoughts and my words and my deeds express the radical holiness that comes from the wonderful, joyful freedom of living by faith in guaranteed future grace. (p. 108 of Chapter 7, original edition)

Piper takes as a key teaching about the assurance of God’s promises to us and for us these verses in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians as recorded in 2 Cor 1:20-22 20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

So how I summarized Piper’s thesis was this:

  • God calls/commands me to be holy.
  • I grow more holy as I soak in and move out, trusting the invisible but very real promised provision as detailed in his scripture promises.
  • When I pray to God I ask him to help me trust what he says. I need his help to stake my every-day moments on his word. So in my prayer I say Amen, aka Yes!, to God’s promises which are grounded in Christ and shored up by the permanent deposit of the Holy Spirit in me.

So, do you see?  Becoming more and more holy is actually a joy-producing adventure.  God doesn’t want us to worry and carry the burden of life on our shoulders.  But we won’t believe him that his way is the better and happier way.  So he orchestrates these tests, EVERY day, forcing us to exercise our spiritual muscles.

For me these tests seem to center around my perception of having too many tasks today and too little time AND have some time left over for me to relax by reading.

I’ve been meditating on Piper’s teachings the past few days.  This morning I woke up feeling anxious about ‘all I needed to get done’ today after church.  Then I remembered that I don’t HAVE to worry.  And in fact maybe, just maybe, God has piled all ‘all this stuff’ deliberately to crunch me and force me to take the practical exam of trusting his promised future grace. For that is how he is making me holy, right down to my core.

Question:  What’s your holiness training plan like?

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