Rescue me from my dark thoughts!

May 26, 2022

Maria God's goodness, God's love, God's presence, God's Promises, God's Purpose, God's voice, God's Word, Psalm 143, Union with Christ , , , , , 1 Comment

These days I seem to be hungry and desperate for only what the psalms can feed me. I’ve been waking up with a heaviness.  At the moment, nothing comes to mind. But when I start to read the appointed psalm, I realize how dry and desperate I feel.  God’s words soothe me. I linger over certain verses, taking the time to look up how the Hebrew is worded, and what the words actually mean.

On Tuesday, the Holy Spirit used Psalm 143 to calm my anxious heart.  I wrote in my journal, personalizing the psalmist’s own words as a plea to God.

Verse 7: Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails!
Father – I feel depressed. I need you. I don’t know what’s wrong. Help me!


Verse 8a: Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

I DO trust you. So, please, DO show me what to do, what to think, the way out of my oppressive thoughts.  I can’t think of anyone else I can go to without fear of judgment.  I even cancelled my appointment with a counselor I’ve used. Human help, even from good friends, can’t give me what I need, what I crave.

Verse 8b: Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord!
    I have fled to you for refuge.

Oh – I forgot, I DO have enemies.  Satan is the oppressor of my soul. Thank you for reminding me that you alone are a safe place, someone who always welcomes me because you love me. May I show your worth by coming first to you.


Verse 10a – Teach me to do your will, for you are my God!

Here’s where my Spanish translation helped me.  One word for teach in Spanish can mean both teach and show.  Isn’t an effective teacher one who doesn’t just talk, but works alongside a student demonstrating how to do something?  The same with God’s training.  We all need a master to whom we are apprenticed.

Father – I see that since you are my God, you also have your plans for my life.  Since I belong to you, you expect me to follow YOUR way towards YOUR goals.  Thank you for that reminder, since I’m prone to go my own way, intent on achieving my own goals, independent of you.   But I can’t go YOUR way or even remember to follow you, unless you help me, breaking into my little ‘Me World’.


Verse 10b: Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!

Again, I checked out the term for ‘good’.  Hebrew’s broad definition includes: ‘kind, happy, cheerful’.  Well, THAT brightened my mood to read that when I ask for God’s help in learning (and desiring) to do his will, his spirit permanently implanted in me will instruct me.  My lessons will be happy lessons for this teacher is kind and cheerful.  He obviously likes his job!

Verse 11: For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life!
    In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!

Father – thank you for this word ‘trouble’.  It covers all sorts of distresses, fears and problems. You have made yourself to be my go-to-rescue source for any and all things that bother me!


 Verse 12: And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies, and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul,
    for I am your servant.

What a relief to know that yes, while I have real enemies who are hostile and evil (think Satan and all his dark side servants), I need not fear for you WILL eliminate them. That is a promise.  And why? Simply because I belong to you. I am your servant as well as your child and Jesus’ little sister.  Belonging to your family brings untold of blessings.

Thank you, Father!

And so, you can see, dear fellow pilgrim, how precious God’s psalms are to me.  Each a chest of treasures.  Which psalm has God used recently to encourage you?

Two astounding facts about our God

May 6, 2021

Maria Galatians 3, God's Questions, God's voice, Numbers 12, Numbers 8, Shame , , , 2 Comments

This week I noticed two astounding facts about God that previously slipped past me.  The first, that God speaks to His image-bearers, us! And second, He created us to be ‘enough’.

Just how does our Father speak to us?  With Moses, He used direct words, face to face. Do you remember jealous Miriam and how she griped to Aaron about the privileges enjoyed only by younger brother Moses?  Read how God responded as recorded in Numbers 12:6-8

Listen to my words: When there is a prophet among you,
  I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions,
  I speak to them in dreams. But this is not true of my servant Moses;
 he is faithful in all my house. With him I speak face to face,
 clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord. Why then    were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?

With Moses, God used specific, detailed words.

Last night I began reading a book about grace.  The author quoted some verses from Genesis 3. God’s question to Adam about shame leapt out for the first time.  Don’t you both love and fear our Father’s direct interrogations? I still struggle with feeling different from others.  I have labeled myself ‘inadequate’ as a grandmother, compared to all those other grandmothers who seem to come by their roles naturally. Then when I measure myself against other Christians, I rate myself as ‘unloving’.  I know that much of my learned projections are meant to cover up what I am ashamed of.

Maybe you can relate!

Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:11 ESV

What does ‘naked’ represent? Think about babies.  They arrive completely exposed, unashamed. Having never been humiliated, they go months before learning to hide something about themselves.

Unfortunately, at a certain age, most of us develop a sense of something not being right with us. Something about us bothers others.  Messaging from others teaches us. It’s the words, the tone of voice, the face, the gestures that communicate our ‘not enoughness’.  Most of us acquire coping mechanisms.

I know some of my learned cover-ups. Other projections are still hidden from me.

Had Adam and Eve stuck with getting truth only from their Father, they never would have known anything else but an artifice-free, secure and loving relationship with God.

Eden 2.0, when Jesus comes back for us, will be safe place. We will finally believe what the Spirit of God has proclaimed through Jesus and the Bible, that our Father has loved us with an everlasting heart.  We were created ‘enough’, never to be shamed.

**

Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Numbers 8:1 NASB

This verse stopped me cold. We’ve been journeying with Moses for some time.  Up to now, I hadn’t noticed that the Lord spoke specific words and Moses understood.

Don’t you find it incredible that a being, in a different category than us, should speak with a mere human with such detail?  The instructions Moses received were complex. Friends, our God intentionally communicates with us! When necessary, if His written word or the pressing of the Holy Spirit are inadequate for the situation, He resorts to out-loud words that a human being can understand.

Thinking of God talking with Moses motivates me to practice more intentional listening. Does God want to connect in this way?  Absolutely! We have His written word and His Spirit in us. And just maybe, some of us will hear the spoken sound of His voice

If counterfeit experts can acquire skill, spotting highly sophisticated replicas of money…. If young children can acquire the facility to understand and distinguish sounds, responding purposefully in two or more languages while growing up….then surely we can improve our ability to listen.

I think listening skills are transferrable.  So, this morning I resolved to practice listening more attentively to my ‘neighbor’.  I bet I’ll also hear God more often.

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