Can one bite of God’s word sustain you for the day?

May 19, 2022

Maria Prayer, Psalm 4, Psalm 6, Spiritual Practice , , , 1 Comment

Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1 NIV The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer. Psalm 6:9 NIV

The message is not new.  We Christians are regularly exhorted to spend time with the Lord each day. Having one’s quiet time is held in high esteem.  For some people, this is easy to do.  If you have the time and you enjoy reading, it’s not a difficult practice to implement and maintain.  I have always loved my early morning time.  And these days, since all my work is as a volunteer, I enjoy the slower time with my Bible, coffee, notebook and prayer app.

But the pressure to keep up this healthy and holy practice sometimes has unintended consequences.  What first comes to mind is the temptation to turn this daily ritual into a checklist item.  Something you have to do in order to be considered a spiritual Christian.  ‘Whew, check THAT off my list!’ doesn’t foster a rich, meditative listening experience. 

I think there is potentially an even more insidious outcome that may ensue. Haven’t we all felt guilty when we can’t seem to keep this rhythm going? Who is not overwhelmed with the daily tasks and demands placed on 21st century busy people? That time with Jesus can easily get crowded out by good things.  Guilt and shame can follow.  “I must not be a good Christian because I either can’t dedicate the daily time I ‘should’ or when I do sit down with my Bible and coffee, I feel dry.  It FEELS rote.”

This morning I read a small devotional that mentioned the two verses above.  All of a sudden, I thought: ‘Maria, just that first verse is enough to chew on all day long. For someone super busy, if she took just one verse and brought it back to mind throughout the day, what a feast she could have!’

So, just how does one mediate on a verse? Let’s break down the first one from Psalm 4:1 into small bites: Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer

David is so direct with God. He doesn’t mince words.  He tells God, ‘Listen up!  I’m talking to you. I have a need.’

Next, he expresses confidence in the Lord.  He reminds God in essence, ‘I know you to be righteous.  I don’t doubt that you WILL hear me and help me.’

Next, we can discern that David has a specific problem in mind.  He feels distress.  He has an enemy or he is in a tight place with no visible way out. We all fall into distress.  Not just occasionally, but multiple times.

A woman I know from tutoring her young daughter in English lives in Moscow.  God has kept us connected since I taught Veronika.  When her son dropped out of university at the end of last summer, he had to enlist in the Army for 12 months.  Two weeks ago, he was sent to the front.  I never bring up politics or the news when I check in with her.  I usually find a verse and google its Russian translation and send it to her.  She is a mom who is in distress.  She fears greatly for the safety of her son. 

I thought of her this morning when I read Psalm 4:1. My overall prayer for her is that the Lord bring her, her son and young daughter to a vibrant relationship with Jesus through this distress.

Finally, once David shares his specific need, he asks for mercy.  He doesn’t tell God how to rescue him.  He simply appeals to God’s character. He knows how merciful the Lord is. And he trusts him.

What struck me this morning is that for those of us who have those seasons or days or weeks of too much to do, there need not be any guilt.  Simply take ONE verse, ONE promise or fact about God from the Bible.  Maybe write it out on a 3×5 card.  And direct your mind back to it multiple times a day.  Think it through and apply it to your life right now. 

That’s worth far more than reading three chapters and not remembering anything that you can take with you during the day. The point is to direct our thoughts toward God, toward all we have been given as members of God’s family.

So, eat to savor.  Don’t just swallow your spiritual food without tasting it over and over again.  Let’s be like cows who keep chewing their food throughout the day.

He’s ploughing my heart and it hurts!

April 21, 2022

Maria Ephesians 2, Healing, Shame , , , Leave a comment

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT

 God’s been doing something different in my heart for the past 18 months. The changes started when Graham recommended a podcast. Listening to the interview with Jamie Winship shifted how I pray. My journaling turned into a conversation with Jesus.  I began opening my heart and writing down my fears, my longings, and my questions. Sometimes the Holy Spirit would right away open up new ways of thinking; other times, the insights came later through scripture or someone’s written meditation.

Honestly revealing to Jesus my dissatisfaction with myself was new. The pace of insights and painful memories accelerated after an overnight ‘retreat’ with a dear friend who is a good listener.  Then I found a Christian counselor and began to process some of my layers of toxic coping mechanisms long practiced over decades.

Then came the gift of a painful experience that caused me to confront feelings of shame. God kindly didn’t leave me alone. He directed a friend to gift me with two books that have turned out to be timely. Reading them, I’ve been able to recall past incidences when I have felt caught off guard by shame.  

Furthermore, a new friend directed my attention to the podcast channel ‘Win Today’ with Christopher Cook. These interviews with Christian authors have been a source of new ideas that promote emotional healing.

Four days ago, on Easter Sunday, some totally new insights touched a sore nerve that until then had been obscured. I was brought to tears.  I find my reaction so startling as an Enneagram 5 who normally doesn’t know what she feels until some time has elapsed. Yet crying spontaneously is fast becoming a new habit.  In the past, I have relied on thinking my way through situations.

How did I miss out on listening to my feelings for so long?   I think because early on emotions felt too dangerous and scary.

But now, God is ploughing my heart.  He’s overturning the stable earth beneath my feet and watering it with my tears.

This morning, listening to some news about some family members going through a dark patch made me wonder.

Could it be that God has some new ‘good things’ for me to do?  Is all this inner prep his way of equipping me?

I feel ready to be on the watch and to continue these programmed ‘beauty’ treatments.  I don’t think I’ll be surprised when that ‘for such a time as this’ assignment appears.

What do I do with my shame?

March 31, 2022

Maria 2 Corinthians 7, Shame , , , , , , 1 Comment

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret…..2 Corinthians 7:10 NIV

The Will Smith spectacle at this year’s Oscars ceremony resonated with me, especially when Mike shared a thoughtful commentary reflecting on the event. The writer described the damage Smith did to his carefully crafted image of an easy-going black man who is thoughtful and kind. I imagine he feels or will experience shame at some point. How he deals with it is what matters.

Providentially, I have been working my way through a book about shame. The timing couldn’t be more perfect because of an upsetting exchange I had with a good friend two weeks after starting the book.

The authors offer a view completely new to me. They write those feelings of shame can actually shine a light on the sin of idolatry underneath our reaction. Surprise made me reread this chapter.

The two authors point out that a more godly reaction than shame when realizing that our actions or words that might have cast us in a poor light would be sorrow coupled with a crying out to God for help. They explain that shame often has to do with one’s identity, the one we all craft or believe defines us.

Let’s say I blurt out something I’m thinking that hurts another person.  My immediate horrified shame stems from my belief that I’m a gal who comports herself kindly with people.  That’s the idol that I work to maintain, either consciously or subconsciously.  The feelings of shame occur when I realize that I did not live up to my own opinion of myself.

The authors write, “Idolatry is sneaky worship. It is worship of the self, but it doesn’t look that way at first.  It appears more like a poor self-image.  It looks like insecurity that necessitates always looking good, or never making mistakes, or determination to be successful. …” (p. 182, The Cry of the Soul)

A natural tendency might be to go numb, to refuse to deal with this painful feeling.  But instead of numbing oneself in shame, God wants us to feel sorrow over the hurt as well as sorrow for this sin.

Reading this book has given me a way to ‘see’ underneath my shame. I now realize that I have cultivated an interaction style with this friend of ‘staying on her good side’, of acting in ways that she will think well of me. I’ve wanted her to see me as a person who is caring and other focused.

I actually feel liberated, having been forced to acknowledge the true motivation of my actions. I don’t have to carry this burden of crafting an image.  Now I want simply to please God and trust him to draw us close.  And I’m praying that one day we both can dare be honest with each other. Then we can start to build our friendship based on authentic and clean hearts.

What do you do with shame?

September 15, 2017

Maria 1 Peter 2, Hebrews 4, Isaiah 28, Psalm 23, Psalm 84, Shame , , , Leave a comment

They say shame is the most painful of emotions.  I can attest to that.  My shame faux-pas have been due to utterances.  Words pronounced without thinking, mostly in haste. Not a few times in my life have I said something I soon regretted.  The words used up less than a minute of real life when they burst forth but fueled much replay time in my post-mortem.

Shame brings regret and grief over the possible irreparable change in a relationship.

I experienced a fresh episode of this kind of heavy sadness the other morning.  I had encouraged someone to share an anecdote with some visiting family members during dinner.  Not only was it untimely but unseemly.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  The effect was not good.  And I saw the consequence later on.  So for the next couple of days, I felt heavy and depressed.

But God!

His Word IS living and active – Hebrews 4:12.  He DOES restore my soul –  Psalm 23:3.

How did He lift the burden?  I’ve been slowly memorizing the book of 1 Peter.  I began toward the end of January of this year and it’s now mid-September and I’m about 1/3 of the way into Chapter 3.  The blessing of committing Scripture to heart is that the Spirit of Christ uses it in timely moments.  Like this week.

The promise was this:  1 Peter 2:6  The one who trusts in the Living Stone (Jesus) will NEVER be ashamed/shamed or disappointed or frightened away in haste (as Isaiah 28:16 renders this original fact.)

As soon as God reminded me of His truth, I FELT the shame leave.  My God-given reason kicked in like this:

  • I am one who trusts in Jesus.  And He promises to cause all circumstances/events to work for my good.  Even those that are painful.  And if He says I won’t be ashamed or shamed, then I don’t need to wallow or indulge in that feeling now.
  • Besides, if I believe God truly is sovereign, even over our sin and mistakes, then I can trust Him to bring good out of this.
  • Finally, doesn’t God say in Psalm 84:11 No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is upright/blameless/without blemish?
  • I regret what I said, AND I am even more motivated to depend on and pray for future self-control over my thoughts and mouth.  And I know that in Christ I am without blemish.  So then God did not withhold this event because He deems it a good thing. I will trust His judgment.

The upshot?  No more shame.  Just a reliance on my Father to heal the damage I did to the relationship and confidence that He is working in me all the time, through falls and victories in Christ.  Christians are entitled and given access to this kind of relief and healing balm NOW through God’s Word.  And for that I am exceedingly glad!

 

 

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