Another tool to fight fear

November 10, 2022

Maria 1 Peter 5, Fear, Psalm 112, Trusting God, Worry 2 Comments

Humble yourself……casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV

My mom used to say, “Maria, most things we worry about never come to pass!”

I know Mom believed that, yet she still struggled with fear and worry. As do I.

If we Christians look simply at the low probability of our fears coming to pass and don’t find peace in statistics, then surely with God’s presence, character and promises we will be free from anxiety. One would think. But I don’t think that is the case for most of us.

Sunday, at church Katie shared something that is helping her to let go of worry and fear. One of our pastors’ wives mentioned it in a Bible study and Katie has passed this nugget of freedom onto me.

“Worry is assuming the worst outcome.”

I have been turning that thought over and over in my mind since Katie blessed me with this definition. Notice she did not use the verb to ‘imagine’ the terrible.  To assume is a much stronger action. It’s to take as true, as real, as FACT, even.

I am beginning to notice just how often fear thoughts drop into my mind.  Maybe that’s normal for all humankind. What troubles me is the ease with which I accept those projections as true and start to worry.

After my week with Anne in El Paso, I am consciously practicing catching myself each time this happens. And I am learning to respond with:  I reject you, Fear!

These depressing visions of the future spring from my imagination. An imagination I have trained to assume the worst outcome.

But rational thinking would pause and ask:

  • What is the statistical probability that this is happen? Telling the truth helps.
  • And if ‘it’ DID come to pass, what would be the implication? Would it really be that awful? Habakkuk faced the possible reality of food scarcity and forecast his reaction in this worst-case scenario.

The Holy Spirit is helping me move toward freedom from fear IN Christ. For example, this morning, the verses below popped into my Prayermate feed.

The righteous…..they do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them. Psalm 112:6-7 NLT

I wrote this in my journal:

“When bad news comes or a major problem arises, instead of assuming the worst outcome, I choose from this day forward to assume a God-directed good outcome.”

The situation or the problem might have a harmful effect, but I am daring to opt for believing God when He says that His grace will be sufficient and that He is working ALL circumstances for long-term good for those who love God and whom He has called.

Although I am 65, it is NOT too late to change my modus operandi. For far too long I have kept myself in that waterless pit of fear that Bunyan referred to as the Castle of Giant Despair.

Running away from safety

September 22, 2022

Maria Luke 10, Psalm 52, Worry , , , , , 1 Comment

(Jesus replied) One thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. Luke 10:42 ESV

Young Will sat up front and kept himself looking alert in 6th-grade French class. He didn’t act up, goof off, or engage in any typical middle school boy behavior. Only problem was, he seemed to have a sieve where his brain should be. After two months trying different remedies to help him with French, I decided to ask him outright why he thought he wasn’t making progress.

His forthrightness stunned me.  “It’s like this, Madame Cochrane, my mom only allows me two hours a week to play Fortnite (a video game). So, if I want to maximize my two-hours play time on Saturdays, I must spend the week strategizing and planning my time.

Will had mastered the art of appearing to pay attention, with full eyes on me and the board, all the while living somewhere else in his mind.

I think we can all relate to that. Last Sunday in church while singing a hymn, I time-traveled days ahead to when I fly out to Seattle to prepare Mom for a move back East. When I ‘came to’, I pictured reaching forward and pulling Maria back to the ‘here and now’ of standing and singing.

Although actively participating in the singing, my appearance hid a distracted mind.

In our Luke passage, I picture sisters Mary and Martha. Yes, we notice how kitchen tasks absorbed Martha’s attention, causing her to fret.  But even had she put meal prep aside in order to sit down near Jesus, as her sister, would she have been present, attentive to his teaching?

Why is this so hard for us? Many reasons come to mind, but the primary one is that we have an enemy whose goal is to distract us away from Jesus. Our identity which we often attach to our doing as well as the beckoning of the world both fight to be most important to us.

God be praised that he doesn’t leave us alone with our distractions! I thank him for keeping after me. Recently, he has tapped into my power to visualize other ways of living, of being present with him.

I love how God packs the Bible with vivid imagery.

But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the faithfulness of God forever and ever. Psalm 52:8 (NASB)

When I read the above verse, I let my mind wander, pondering what a tree needs to flourish. Nutrient-rich soil, cool water, and sunshine came to mind. How clearly these requirements apply to me. For me to grow and produce fruit for others, I have to stay connected to Jesus. Abiding in the vine, following the Good Shepherd, seeking the Kingdom are all metaphors for being present with God.

Picture our green olive tree.  Let’s suppose she’s afraid of what might happen in the future. Can’t you just see her pulling herself up and away from where she is planted?  There she goes, out the door into the dry sandy wilderness of ‘futurizing’, trailing her roots behind her.  How long is her strength going to last? In a short time, away from where she constantly received the light and water she needed, she starts to weaken.  Her branches become dry and wither.  If she doesn’t come to her senses, she will die, away from her One Source.

Friends, that is us, when we don’t stay put, when we don’t grip our Savior’s hand firmly. Jesus is HERE in the present. Outside of each successive eternal now-moment, is nothing but sinking sand. Why do we tend to run ahead into these frightening, lonely places?  I don’t know.

But one thing I DO know…and it’s this.  I want to stay put, to hold on and live this gift of another heartbeat, another breath standing on my Rock where ALL of God’s goodness is.

Wasteful nighttime worry

June 30, 2022

Maria Proverbs 19, Spiritual Warfare, Trusting God, Worry Leave a comment

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 ESV

The Lord had scheduled this verse in my reading this morning, for it hit home. 

I had lain in bed after ‘pee o’clock’ just thinking about various hypothetical scenarios.  You’d probably call it ‘worrying yourself sleepless!’ What kind of situations?

There’s my mother-in-law who grows weaker by the week.  She lives alone, but in a retirement community, about 2000 miles away from us. I foresee us making more frequent trips out to see and encourage her.

Another issue I spent time ‘planning for’ had to do with packing for an upcoming trip.  Then my worrying bordered on the ridiculous. Of all things, I started wondering just what I would do with my life if Mike died before me.  Yes, I know, all in the middle of the night.

I paid a price for giving into these anxiety projections – less sleep!

But it wasn’t a waste, for God redeemed it this morning by pointing out his truth, delivered by Solomon’s proverb.

How do those words help?  I’m choosing to draw a distinction between planning and preparing. Of the three topics that occupied my awake time, only one, Friday’s upcoming trip, involved an actual situation written on my calendar.  But as I had already written down some prep details during daylight hours, just what was the point in thinking about it at night?

But the other two scenarios, how Mom’s decline will play out and life as widow?????  I have NO business giving attention to them.  What prompted the latter worry, it can only have been Satan.  And about Mom, I was pondering her situation and our involvement only because she had been depressed that day when I zoomed with her.

Listening to her lamentations had led me to suggest two actions she could take the next day.  Other than that, for the time being, I can’t control her or supervise her to see that she actually puts into practice what I think will help her. I have to leave her in God’s hands and keep praying.

My imaginations, those speculative plans certainly won’t change God’s purposes.

Do you remember those ‘choose your own adventure’ books?  Here’s my application of that kind of authoring.  No matter how many possible ‘choose- your-own eventuality’ exist, until Mom’s story on Earth 1.0 ends, I know that God ‘has this all his hands’.  Furthermore, having experienced God’s creative solutions numerous times, I will not be surprised if how he has written the story is in a way I would never have imagined.

So, what’s the whole point in telling you all this?  Just that, in case you’re like me and occasionally fall prey to that temptation to lie awake worrying, maybe seeing the silliness in my preoccupations might help you see more clearly your own unholy imaginings. 

Let’s pray rather that we trust the Holy Spirit to give us supernatural power to resist the suggestion to start imagining an ending. God has got this!

When ‘my’ plans don’t work out

March 3, 2022

Maria 1 John 5, Faith, God's Sovereignty, Philippians 4, Spiritual Warfare, Worry , , , , Leave a comment

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7……(then) …. whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV

An alert from American Airlines interrupted my lunch last week as I was checking email.  Something to the effect that bad weather might disrupt our travel plans two days later, on the Friday. The airline offered to change our plans at no cost.

The possibility of weather problems had not crossed my mind.  Immediately Satan suggested all sorts of bad scenarios meant to distract me.  We were flying to Charlottesville, Virginia to care for grandkids so their parents could visit El Paso to look at houses.  This weather event would affect their flights as well.

Recognizing that I was beginning to fear the worst, I forced myself to go on the counter-attack. I reminded myself that:

  • The Lord has these trips already planned out.
  • He has stockpiled provisions we will need.
  • His plans are always best.

Satan stepped up the momentum.  But I strengthened my resolve, asking the Lord for supernatural help to fight back.  What came to mind was the promise that if I resist the devil’s suggestions about our future, he will flee. 

I kept up my trifecta of truth.  I declared out loud:  I can’t stop these lying images from entering my imagination, but I will immediately respond with what I know to be true. 

And so, I waged war.

I had to continue resisting Satan’s lying thoughts longer than I anticipated.  When we got to the airport last Friday, weather turned out not to be the problem.  But there were others.

The flight had a mechanical issue.  We deplaned and waited in line to consult with the gate agent about connecting flights. He booked us on a flight out of Charlotte, North Carolina for an airport 75 minutes away from our destination.  Presumably, we could Uber from there to Anne and Wes’ house. But by the time we landed in Charlotte, that flight had been cancelled.

By grace, we had already thought of renting a car in Charlotte.  Sure enough, that turned out to be Plan C. But would there be any rental cars available?  We kept praying.  Sure enough, the Lord’s stockpiled grace included a rental car that we could drop off at the Charlottesville airport the next day.

Knowing our delay, our son and daughter-in-law dropped off the children with a friend and headed to Washington, DC for their flight.  We picked up the kids 6 hours later than our original itinerary. Whew! Finally, we were in the house with the kids and their dog. But God’s grace did not end there.

Wes and Anne’s flight was delayed and they had to spend the night in Houston, Texas.  God’s stockpiled grace for them included a $400 credit with the airline. And Anne, who is 31 weeks pregnant, got to bed earlier than they had planned. They arrived in El Paso the next morning in time to meet the real estate agent. And saved one day’s worth of rental car expenses.

What did I learn?  Like a 2×4 to the head was the realization ‘What a waste of emotional energy, worrying about anything. The weather event evaporated.’

This experience showed me once more that victory over sinful fear and worry comes by means of exercising our trust in our good God who does all things well, though not always the way we would like.

John, inspired by the Holy Spirit, wrote about this very scenario the four of us lived through : (and I paraphrase) ‘Our prevailing over Satan, the flesh and the world is a done deal. It is scripted that we conquer Satan and fear by means of taking God at his word and doing the next thing at hand.’

And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4 ESV

Who’s carrying your burdens?

November 4, 2021

Maria 1 Corinthians 10, Holy Spirit, James 1, Philippians 4, Psalm 55, Wisdom, Worry , , , , , 1 Comment

Give your burdens to the LORD…..Psalm 55:22 NLT

I met with my counselor on Tuesday this week. We explored why I’m still struggling to decide whether I continue an endeavor or cut it off.  I’ve been ‘wishing and washing’ for more than two years, not able to make up my mind.

When I started my YouTube channel, English without Fear, in March 2018, my goal was to replace my classroom teaching salary through providing compelling, intermediate-level English stories that could benefit both English-language learners and teachers. I produced videos and materials for free to build a following, hoping eventually to convert some of them into paying clients

When the Lord suddenly moved Mike and me to Huntsville, I left my classroom job teaching French.  Due to Mike’s salary, there was no longer a need for me to work.  My purpose for having started this YouTube channel and website evaporated. I kept it up, however, out of a sense of pride for having begun it and for the identity it gave me. I also viewed it as a type of voluntary contribution to the language acquisition community. But my feelings toward it vacillated.

At the end of my counseling session, Teresa challenged me to pray in a way that had never crossed my mind.  She suggested I ask the Lord, ‘What would YOU have me do with my life, since you have planted me here in Huntsville?’ That’s a much broader, open question. It actually excited me.  Maybe there’s a new adventure God would have me take up, something I’ve never imagined, but one that he has been preparing me for all along. Up until now, I’ve only prayed for wisdom about continuing to invest time and energy in this ESL tool I started back in North Carolina.

Recently, God reminded me of the verse at the beginning of this post.  Hence, I’ve been thinking of Sherpa guides. I can imagine climbing a perilous Himalayan peak, tightly tied to my guide.  Using only climbing poles, my back is weight free. If the ascent challenges me, my guide takes the lead. Other times, I walk beside him, securely attached to my moving stronghold.

Isn’t that a picture of how our Christian life is to be? No anxiety should burden us if we keep casting each one on our guide, the Holy Spirit. Paul picks up this reality in his letter to the Philippians. Because the Lord is near, we are privileged to keep handing over all worries.

Wouldn’t it be a stupid sight to behold, a mountain climber loaded down with all his heavy baggage and struggling to keep up with the Sherpa guide who burden free hiked along?

Yesterday morning when I journaled, I wrote to Jesus, asking him to show me what he wants me to do here in Huntsville. I asked him specifically, ‘What do YOU say about…?’ and I listed all the ‘chosen’ activities I do during the week.  Then at the gym, the Holy Spirit brought to mind James’ advice:

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. James 1:5-6 NLT

I thanked the Lord for this promise and reminded myself that if I trust him to provide wisdom, to respond to my prayer, then I don’t need to keep thinking and deliberating.  Especially if he truly is my divine Sherpa guide on whom I have off-loaded this issue that has perturbed me on and off for 2 years!

I’m excited to see where he is leading me, what he is going to open up for me. If I count on him to keep being God and to continue his faithful pattern of how he cares for his chosen sheep, then I can rest in his promised provision of wisdom and insight.

Goals – do I set any? or what!

December 5, 2019

Maria Adoption, Anxiety, Colossians 3, Galatians 5, Peace, Prayer, Worry , , 2 Comments

Part of my family is entrepreneurial.  My son and his wife run on-line businesses.

Recently during Thanksgiving Shay, my daughter-in-law mentioned that as soon as they returned to Tampa she would be heading off for her annual 24-hour-away solo planning meeting to evaluate the year, set business goals, and create strategies for working toward those sales and growth targets.

No matter which industry you’re in (I taught secondary school French for years), planning is essential.  You can’t just wing a project and expect the same kind of outcome that is attainable through measured steps.

Since October, I’ve been searching for a Biblical goal, a Jesus-centered capital-G goal for my life (or this next year), one that transcends the narrower aspirations such as building more muscle mass, acquiring proficiency in Spanish, spending less time on my phone/with my laptop, eliminating rushing.

What drives my desire for ONE Holy-Spirit-powered goal?  Chronic anxiety, occasional feelings of being unsettled or splintered, and a struggle to hand over fears.

I’ve been trying on different goals for size.  Such as:

  • The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself as love (Gal 5:6b)
  • Breath mantras about God like: “His good, my peace”
  • Creating a habit of noticing beautiful aspects of life and creation and thanking God at the moment.

Monday of this week, I finally confessed to Mike all my anxieties ‘du jour’ and asked him to pray for me.  It was cyber Monday, and with Christmas approaching I was feeling VERY scattered, like Martha running around the house, as she attempted to multi-task her way through the day.

Then Tuesday morning, during my quiet time the Holy Spirit dropped THIS thought into my heart:

  • Since I am going to be spending the majority of my life (read: forever!) in heaven with the Triune God of the universe….
  • Since I am IN FACT an adopted daughter of the Father as well as Jesus’ little sister……

…should I not be PRACTICING MY ROLE, MY LINES for living eternally right now?  After all, in one sense, I already AM ‘above. It’s not like I need to pretend some thing that isn’t true. For we read in Paul’s letter to the church at Colossae:

Colossians 3:1 Therefore, since you have been raised with Christ, strive for the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

Jesus’ little sister!  This thought captivated me. Yes, I AM His sister.  Then came the empowering breath of the Spirit:  “Well, Maria, if you ARE Jesus’ little sister, how about starting to ACT like who you already are!”

There it was – my goal. So simple. It claimed me.  Immediately and at various times yesterday AND today, I have been reminding myself:  ‘You’re Jesus’ little sister.  So, act like it Maria!’ That prompt is all I have needed to send the anxieties running.

How have I translated my eternal identity into concrete living?  For one, I immediately have taken a deep breath and relaxed.  Jesus never rushed. I certainly won’t be rushing in heaven. Might as well start practicing moving at HIS pace now, on earth.

The corollary to NOT rushing is taking time to be with the people I encounter during the day.  Yesterday that looked like: noticing and engaging gently with an impatient man in the grocery check-out line ahead of me at Kroger.  Today, it was sitting in my car for 30 minutes chatting with a friend after we picked out granite for our new house.

All I seem to need to pull back from stress is to say out loud to myself,  “I’m Jesus’ little sister.” And Holy Spirit calm settles on me.  Then I look up to see whom I might encounter.

The cool thing is that yesterday at lunch time Mike texted me writing that he had just prayed again for me to feel less scattered.  I rejoiced to share with him how the Lord had used his prayer for me.  Then I reminded him that he also is Jesus’ younger brother.

One of God’s gifts I was ignoring

November 6, 2019

Maria 1 John 5, 1 Peter 5, God's commands, God's gifts, Obedience, Philippians 4, Romans 8, Uncategorized, Worry , , , , 2 Comments

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.  And his commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3

Driving my granddaughters to school through Tampa rush-hour traffic this week has made me extra cautious.  Plus, I’m driving my son’s new car and I don’t want to damage it. En route to school yesterday morning, my speed just happened to be under the 70 mph limit on Interstate 275-S where the traffic was flowing before all the congestion hit. As a police car passed me on the left, I remarked to 10-year-old Chloe, “Obedience brings blessings.  You don’t have to worry about being pulled over if you obey the speed limit!”

I didn’t share the REAL reason I was traveling a bit slower.  It had nothing to do with avoiding a ticket and unnecessary stress. Nevertheless, I put in a general plug for obeying God.  The REAL reason to heed this traffic law is that I’ve been thinking differently about obeying God in the past 2 days. I’m starting to wonder that maybe our Father’s commands are actually a GIFT, a BLESSING, as opposed to a restriction God has imposed.

As I grow older and my cohort of friends is  aging; as I have grown children in their 30s with their own children; as the Holy Spirit shaves off some of my self-centeredness, sensitizing me to the pain and suffering of those around me, I find myself caring and praying A LOT.

But as God has grown my desire to pray for more people, a concomitant self-imposed burden has emerged.

Years in Bible Study Fellowship back in Virginia taught me to pray for specific needs in a way that is measurable.  Instead of asking God to ‘bless John’s work’, I’ve learned to detail just what John’s tangible need is and name it, asking God’s help WITH the ‘it’.

My prayers now look like this: Father, please guide John to soften his tone with his co-workers so that they and he cooperate better and carry out the assigned task at hand.

Why all the detail?  So, I can know when God comes through and then have the specifics to thank Him!

What then is the burden?  Just that I have fallen into thinking that if I don’t pray specifically WITH all the pertinent details, then my prayer is less effective.

I know what you’re thinking!  Am I not forgetting the comforting promise about the Holy Spirit’s help?

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

Now that I have given you background, I want to share how marvelously the Spirit came to my rescue yesterday!  There’s a situation in our life that feels complex and overwhelming. Monday evening our granddaughters were in dance class.  While I waited for them Mike and I chatted briefly. He shared a setback over the phone.  After we hung up, a wave of dismay rolled over me as I tried to place this news into the context of God’s promises.

Thank you, Father, for the time TO think, to know where to hang this new piece of data according to what is TRUE about You!

Here is what the Lord did. He gave me insight having to do with obedience!

My obedience is not something I think about much. But on this occasion the Holy Spirit reminded me of Jesus’ many teachings NOT to worry.  The Spirit then brought​ to mind​ divine commands​ penned ​by Paul & Pete​​r​,​ reenforce​ing the Lord’s lessons::

Cast ALL your cares on Him, for He cares for you! 1 Peter 5:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Phil 4:6

Here then is how my mind worked to bring me back out of this tight spot after hearing Mike’s report.

“Oh, I am supposed to OBEY my heavenly Father.  And He tells me to hand over every single care TO Him. What a relief!  Here you go, dear Father, take this new development in this season of painful suffering and do what is best.  Amen”

Simple and easy.  I picked up my Kindle book, reading while I waited for the girls to finish. Each time my mind drifted back to the dark, tight spot it’s like I shook it off and reminded myself: “My Father is handling this.  I am to obey Him and leave it in His hands.”

The night that followed, I woke up a couple of times to gray mist seeping into my thoughts. But by the power and reminder from God’s Spirit, I quickly swept them away with this assertion: “I’m obeying my Father, so I am not going to think about IT!”

Just as with any new habit, this change in reflex will take practice over time.

But already, I FEEL the lightness. The bottom line is that I am to obey my Father. Yes, I will continue to pray daily with thanksgiving. Once. And then obey Him by leaving the matter with Him.​

I wonder what other commands our Father has given that might actually be blessings!

 

Laying my burdens down

October 7, 2019

Maria Matthew 16, Nehemiah 6, Obedience, Peace, Philippians 4, Uncategorized, Worry , , , Leave a comment

My Friday morning Bible study is studying the book of Hebrews this year.  Last week’s discussion focused on God’s warning about NOT mixing faith with God’s facts.

I’ve known for a while that my ‘unbelief’ is the root of ALL my sin.  That each time I’m worrying about something like Mike’s health or ‘am I staying in contact enough with my kids and grandkids?’ (one of my besetting fears because I am so selfish!)

But by grace, my heart is drawn to return often to the comforting Rx of Philippians 4:4-7.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Here is what I have seen this week:

  • The key and power for a peace-filled, worry-free day is OBEDIENCE to His command of being glad in Jesus and all that He is, has done and promises.  The strength FOR this kind of peace is not in me and what I can ‘gin’ up by forced grit.  And a superficial summarizing feeling of Jesus’ work for me won’t cut it.  Actually naming, calling out all that His blood purchased for me, is what will build up the spiritual strength to hand over my worries.
  • Supernatural strength will then permit me to obey God and his second command – to be gentle or reasonable with those I live, work, worship and fellowship.  Gentleness means going along with what pleases these neighbors/brothers in all the discretionary matters of personal preference.
  • But what assures me that MY needs will be met if I do seek to fit in with others?  The next FACT – the Lord is near or at hand.
  • Whew, okay, since He is near and at hand, I can and SHOULD hand over all my anxiety-producing needs & desires.  In fact, as I read somewhere this week: God won’t pick up your burdens UNTIL you lay them down!
  • Continuing on from there, do you notice that little 2-word exhortation from Paul who never has ‘throw-away words’?  ‘WITH thanksgiving’.  No begrudging my having to obey Him.  Just a glad handing over.
  • Payoff for all this obedience? Out-of-this world PEACE to barricade my mind against those pesky and sinful worries.  The ‘Sanballats‘ of my life is what I now call those worries that plague me if I don’t draw on God’s strength in Jesus.

“Remember, my God, Tobiah and Sanballat according to these their works, and also the prophetess Noadiah, and the rest of the prophets, that would have put me in fear.” Nehemiah 6:14.  These were false prophets who wanted to HALT Nehemiah and the Judeans who were rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.

I now see that the battle against the sin and danger of worry is never-ending in this life.  So….I desperately need to hear the good news of what Jesus has done.  Over and over again.

And I need to be reminded that handing over these concerns is a command I am to obey.

A final thought that bolsters this case for NOT worrying comes from Jesus’ exhortation to take up our cross and follow Him.

Matt 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

If I am to take up His cross, then I have to lay down my burdens that I’ve been holding onto tightly.  It only makes sense.  Reminding myself of WHY I can trust Jesus is my daily discipline to access His power to obey Him and receive His peace.

 

 

Who or what dominates your thinking?

May 20, 2019

Maria 2 Samuel 19, Anxiety, Idols, Philippians 4, Thinking, Trials, Unbelief, Worry , , , , , , 2 Comments

Is it just me, or do you find that living by faith and not by sight grows HARDER and HARDER as the years go by?  The ‘pop quizzes’ that used to land on me every few weeks now seem to show up every couple of days.

Not one to spot my unbelief right away, I sense God gently but firmly taking my face between his hands (so to speak!) to make me look at my unbelief. My pride recoils at yet more evidence for my lack of trust in the Lord as Good Father, Faithful Shepherd, Wise Counselor.

This past week has been that kind of personal attention or ‘handling’.  I have struggled to let go of persistent worry. It’s not that I have been anxious about anything, rather I have OBSESSIVELY ‘angsted’.  My personalized version of Phil 4:6 is now “Do not OBSESS over anything!” rather than the tame ‘do not be anxious’.

I KNOW what I’m supposed to do and I do try!

  • Daily I hand over my needs à la ‘Cast your cares on Him….’
  • Hourly I pray with much fervor à la ‘The fervent prayers of a righteous man…..’
  • I recollect many blessings, the good things about God, who He is and what He has done and the promises laid up for me……

Yet, I feel bound up in worry.

So, it was no surprise to me that the Sovereign Lord, the One who reigns over all creation, used a portion of yesterday’s assigned Scripture from 2 Sam 19: 1-8 to show me exactly what happens when I make a created thing PRE-EMINENT in my life.

Just so you’ll know how I recognize something as being preeminent in my life, it’s those occasions when my thoughts ‘glom’ onto a created thing like sewing pins sticking to a magnet.

Here’s a synopsis of events 2 Samuel 19:

  • King David’s rebel son Absalom has been killed by David’s men and the coup squelched.  David acts ‘un-kingly’ as he indulges his natural grief in an unceasing, over-the-top inconsolable fashion.
  • He does not publicly thank the valiant ones who risked their lives and their homes to flee Jerusalem and side with him.  He does not acknowledge the cost to his loyal citizens who probably fought against some family members supportive of Absalom.
  • He obsessively wails to such an extent, to such a danger point that General Joab, his chief of the army, has to shock him into acting like a king.  Joab point blank tells him that if he doesn’t stop crying about his son and get back to doing his job as God’s anointed king, then he’ll find himself at the end of EVERYONE’s spear.

That’s the narrative in a nutshell. In what way did I see this biblical example as a gentle rebuke from God to abandon my anxious obsession?  Reading this account revealed the evil of disobedience. God had appointed David to shepherd God’s people for Him. David courted danger, almost to the point of no return, when he inverted God’s priorities. This observation is what convicted me.

The king harmed good people when he made his son more valuable, more meaningful than the welfare of those in his care.

I do the same when I place a created thing over the Creator.

Our pastor’s sermons on the preeminence of Christ have bathed my thoughts over the past several weeks (when I wasn’t anxiously obsessing!) The Greek word for preeminence ‘proteuo’ is described in two ways:

  • Ranking first
  • Exercising the most influence

So even as I have struggled with handing over a particular problem to God and then taking it back, I’ve been asking myself:

“Maria, who or what is preeminent in your life?”

It’s a piercing question that demands honesty.  I have felt bound up in the time I’ve invested in trying to ‘solve this suffering’ of a loved one.  And God keeps throwing me reminders to ‘JUST STOP IT!’ (you’ll smile if you’re old enough to remember TV actor Bob Newhart as the UN-empathetic counselor). Our good Father gave me the very same counsel but from a different source.

Margin

Dr. Richard Swenson, an author whose book about regaining margin I’m re-reading, penned this arresting statement

‘The purpose of life is not to solve suffering but righteousness.’

Bolstering that truth has been the realization that EVERY single human being on earth in every epoch has lived or is experiencing now a life of suffering.  The purpose of life cannot then be to ‘solve’ suffering.  I have known this but now I KNOW it more deeply. My purpose, your purpose if you belong to Christ, is to be content in Him, to enjoy Him, to seek to please Him, to sing new songs of who He is and what He has done.  In the midst of suffering.

I think we can fall into the trap of making an idol out of a problem-free life, a life without suffering.  At least I am beginning to see that about me. And if that is my or your goal, then we are setting ourselves up for misery.

May God help us all to be joyful obedient servants of our loving God.

 

 

 

My hero and role model has feet of clay

December 22, 2018

Maria 1 Peter 3, Faith, God's Sovereignty, Holy Spirit, Husbands, Peace, Trust, Trusting God, Worry , , , , , , 2 Comments

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,  as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.  1 Peter 3:3-6

I love this report about Sarah. I find her refreshing.  I am relieved that it is her Peter exhorts us to copy.  Yet I know the full story of Sarah.  I know that Peter, guided by God’s Spirit,  has selected the characteristics of Sarah WHEN SHE WAS AT HER BEST!  Yes, Moses wrote the unvarnished account of this matriarch who didn’t trust God all the time.  She is the one who thought she knew best how they could ‘get a baby’.  So she made her personal servant sleep with an old, old man.  And then she treated Hagar shamefully.

(One sin I think we women all share is that we, too, think we know best – pretty arrogant for a finite creature, don’t you think?_

Yet God holds her up as a role model. For me, for you (even if you are a man)

This time in life when our future feels as uncertain as that of Abraham and Sarah’s, I draw comfort from the realism-laced prescription that Peter writes.  I (and Mike as well)  am to cultivate a gentle and quiet disposition or attitude.  None of the crazed, “But what are we going to do!!!”  No need for that stress and unrest if we trust God!  We don’t HAVE to know today what we will do next week.

No, I am to be like Sarah and the other ‘holy women’ of the Bible ‘who hoped in God’.  That is they trusted, believed, counted on God to do and be what He said he would do.

But what sells me on wanting to be like my mother, or older sister Sarah is how Peter writes, “She didn’t fear what was frightening!”

We live in a scary world.  And it’s always been that way since the Fall.  That’s reality.  Yet because we have the happy, sovereign, good and all-wise triune God, we are NOT to fear.

So, do I know what will happen, what our future holds?  No.  But I am growing more able to rest and feel assured that God does know and is sovereignly working out the details.  We are to rest, trust, watch and be ready to move out.  To travel light.

Sarah left her home and friends behind in Ur. No mention is made of her pining away about what she left behind.  She moved and tented wherever her husband led.  Trusting and submitting to this fallible husband BECAUSE she trusted God.  And she was at rest.

I bet she didn’t have a worry line in her old face!

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