Talking to God

September 5, 2025

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Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8 NIV

As I write, we’re passing over Des Moines en route to Seattle for Mike’s 50th high school reunion.  Shortly after sunup, after feeding the cats their breakfast, I slipped out into the cool misty September morning to walk and pray and off load my travel anxiety.  After a few minutes taking in beauty, physical sensations and sounds, I turned inward, thinking I should start praising God.

I surprised myself as I just began chatting to God, not using any structured prayer or format. “Wait a minute. I have a Father. I don’t have to follow a script. I can just talk to Him as I would to my own dad. After all, wouldn’t I find it weird if Wes or Graham were to initiate each conversation with me, their mom, praising me for my attributes? 

For sure, for what I value most with my sons is when they share their hopes, their worries, their dreams, and what makes them laugh. I love their jokes. Simply put, I want them to be real, to be themselves around me. I love spending time with them.

So while taking in the beauty of the early morning, I began simply to talk to my Father about what was on my mind. It felt natural and free flowing. Occasionally, I spontaneously broke into praise. My mind then moved towards friends and family who needed Divine help. Intermittently chattering tree frogs captured my attention and made me smile. I simply enjoyed being present with God in His creation.

Pumping my legs, relishing the fresh beauty, savoring the freedom to be transparently real with God made for a relaxing start of a long travel day.  Sure there is a place for using Scripture to pray in a more organized manner, but I imagine the Lord smiles when we just want to be close to Him.

How to practice a Psalm

August 29, 2025

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But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. Psalm 5: 11 NLT

For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:12 ESV

We’re back from the Italy trip and feeling so grateful for God’s good care each day and night. Leading up to our departure, I had to fight against using my imagination to project: What if there are problems and they dampen the trip!  

This morning while reading these two verses from Psalm 5, I saw what I should have done, how I should have prayed and what the Lord actually did despite my failures.

Headed into the trip I gave into Satan-inspired fears more often than I want to admit. I should have fought against those ‘voices’ with vigor, by copying the psalmist: But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. 

Had I continually affirmed the goodness of God in providing me a refuge against Satan, I would have felt secure and been able to sing God’s praises with gladness of heart. 

Once IN God’s shelter, resting in His safe covering, I could have then more easily followed King David’s example as he asked the Lord through prayer: Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy.

For example, traveling to Italy via an overnight stop in Zürich where we rented a car, I could have prayed this verse and felt assured that God would protect us and the car.  Without a doubt Mike and I LOVE God’s name.

(Note to Self: Could asking someone if they love God’s name be a useful way to open up a Gospel conversation?)

I would have saved myself a lot of pre-trip anxiety had I soaked in the comfort of verse 12: For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

As I mentioned, despite exercising a fear-perforated confidence in God, He graciously DID cover us with favor.

We DID rejoice with relief upon turning in the rental car in Zürich with no scratches or dents. With both of us shooting up arrow prayers, Mike safely drove south over the Alps and back as well as navigated single lane Italian roads through hillside hamlets during our eleven days in Lombardy.  

And talk about God’s favor! From spectacular warm and sunny weather, to fresh Italian bread delivered to our Airbnb each morning, to awe-inspiriting vistas, to an overnight visit from Italian friends and plenty of hanging out and observing local Italian life in restaurants, grocery stores and on walks, we were the recipients of so many of God’s gifts. 

Father, You really are so good. Forgive me for doubting.

Now, considering future trips, including this next one to Seattle, may I recall HOW to count on You and reject Satan’s ‘suggestions’.

It is far better to learn to receive……

August 19, 2025

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For it was I, the LORD your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things. Psalm 81:10 NLT 

This is day four of our two-week trip to Switzerland and Italy. Reading this blog, you probably are aware that I have a problem with choosing to imagine problems instead of picturing What if it’s Wonderful? That question is not just the title of a book worth reading, but a framework I am trying to adopt. 

So far, everything about this European adventure has been over-the-top amazingly delightful.  Last night, awake for a few hours, (no, not jet lag, just something that plagues me from time to time), I put two and two together. 

I am like one of my granddaughters. For a while she has been fearing that she is not a good enough Christian, that she has to earn God’s love, that she has to do amazing things for Christ. In what sense am I similar to her?  

One line from a recent prayer written by Pastor Scotty Smith describes me: “If I maintain a daily regimen of Bible reading, Scripture memorization, and quiet times, but don’t really believe the Gospel, I am a disciplined unbeliever”.

If anything, I am disciplined in my daily practices, from time with the Lord to language practice, exercise, food prep and even this writing. But I don’t believe what Jesus actually says. Here is how I know. 

In the months leading up to our departure to Italy, I forecast all sorts of situations that might go wrong. Usually in the middle of the night, too. I would attempt to solutionize imaginary scenarios. But so far, God has stunned me by His goodness.

Planes arrived and landed on time. We managed to snag a first class upgrade on our Delta flight to Zürich for not much more money. The hotel in Zürich offered us a room at 10 am the morning we landed at half the rate of a normal night. We rented a car and safely FOUND the Airbnb in an out-of-the-way little hamlet reached by ancient narrow roads. Mike navigated 108 hairpin turns up and over the Swiss Alps after we inadvertently chose the most stressful mountain pass.  And our host, Cesary, has demonstrated inordinate, over-the-top care with fresh bread deliveries, a stocked fridge and a plant in the apartment.  I haven’t even mentioned the view of the hills from our sunny balcony.

I don’t deserve any of this, especially after I have hurt Jesus by not believing that He is good.

But that is the point, isn’t it. No one deserves grace. He keeps giving even when we don’t trust Him.  So, my dear granddaughter, I am learning as are you, that we don’t need to fear we are not ‘good enough’.  Of course we aren’t. We’re fallen, broken sinners. But forgiven and greatly loved ones. And that makes all the difference. 

So, I raise my glass of wine and give thanks to my Father who exhorts me: Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.

Grazie mille!

Forgetting we are but little kids is dangerous

August 16, 2025

Maria Abiding, Dependence, Matthew 18, Prayer, Spiritual Warfare , Leave a comment

Then he (Jesus) said: I promise you this. If you don’t change and become like a child….Matthew 18:3 NASB

We stopped acting childlike, having grown comfortable in the routines of daily life vacationing in Italy. Today is a national holiday and everyone celebrates by eating out with family and friends. It dawned on me this morning that we should have booked a table for lunch somewhere, so we cast ourselves on Jesus and asked for help. I texted a local restaurant we had tried last Sunday. By grace they worked it out so we could enjoy a special four-course lunch in honor of ‘Feragosto’ and the ‘Assumption of  Mary’. We prayed for safety on the drive down the mountain and back up.  The Lord was gracious. Watching the ‘theater’ of Italian families laughing, chatting and savoring the cuisine entertained us.

After changing into workout clothes, we hopped in the car again, to walk along the river down in the valley. We cheerfully set off down the narrow lanes with blind hairpin turns, content and confident that we were getting the hang of these Italian roads. 

That’s when the trouble started. ‘Mr. Italian GPS’ routed us wrong. Harsh words emerged from my frustrated driving husband   and we ‘almost’ succumbed to disharmony among us. God be praised that we recognized our error.  We had forgotten that we are but little children who need our Daddy. We had not asked for His help. Obviously we didn’t think we needed Him. 

I’m so glad the Father brought us up short right away.  We immediately confessed our false independence and ran back to Him, asking for protection and help.  The enemy tried once more after the walk to mess with us in the car. This quirky rental car does the strangest things. Recognizing another probe from the enemy, we rebuked him and clung to Jesus.

Resolving marital conflict, while vacationing

August 9, 2025

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So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NLT

I had to humble myself before Mike as he did with me. Today is day five of this year’ journey to northern Italy with a couple of days on either end in Zürich.  Travel stress reveals our hearts, laying bare who we really are. 

Mike daily focuses on safely maneuvering the rental car, a Czech Skoda, as we listen to Italian directions and watch the Apple Car Play map display and verify with the road signs. That plus narrow one-lane streets that squeeze past ancient stone houses. I’m trying to be ‘helpful’.  It doesn’t take much effort to picture what our conversations are like.  

This afternoon, having parked the car for the night and after some unnecessary words from me about driving, we changed clothes and hiked up to a chapel on a hill.  As the church bells pealed, informing the valley that it was 4 pm, we slid into another verbal ‘splat’.  Mike turned around and sharply asked, “Why are you acting like this?  I was actually agreeing with you! Why do you feel you have to explain things to me?”  

Stunned into silence, I couldn’t account for my words either. Suddenly, I recognized what this is: spiritual attack!  I blurted out, “Mike, Satan is trying to mess with us. God has been so good to us. He’s brought us to a beautiful place and we’re hissing at each other. Please, pray.”  He recognized what and who was behind the day’s conflicts and asked me to pray to the Lord.  I did, pleading for Jesus to restore our union with Him and each other. Then we asked each other’s forgiveness.  And it was done. Peace restored.

Our good Father called us into marriage 45 years ago because He knew we’d rub each other in many unhealthy ways. Gradually, thanks to the Holy Spirit’s oil of peace, God is sanding us down, smoothing out the sharp and rough edges. Creating something beautiful out of each of us, I pray.

God keeps working, especially on vacations.  

Butterfly Development School

August 5, 2025

Maria Fear, God's Power, John 16, Problems, Struggles , , , , , 1 Comment

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33 NLT

I dipped into Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest.  Today he addressed the normal hardships of life like this: “The strain of life is what builds our strength”.

Immediately, because it’s summer, I thought of butterflies.  Maybe we’re all in Butterfly School!  If the chrysalis doesn’t struggle to break out of its cocoon, she won’t live to delight the world. But maybe she feels as I do, “This is harder than I thought!”.

Oswald continued, “Are you asking God to give you life, liberty, and joy?  He cannot unless you are willing to accept the strain.” 

As I reflect on what I’m fighting, anxiety about some international travel in a few days, a new possibility appears.  Maybe today’s strain, this struggle to trust Jesus, is just part of Butterfly Development School. If that’s the case, then this adversity is making me beautiful!

And yes, I should know better.  There is no such thing as a life free from problems, hardships or adversity.  In my case, strain-free travel doesn’t exist, for I can’t control weather, mechanical issues or people. 

But what if I turned into the strain, as does a sailboat tacking into the headwind? I smile and relax as I picture a trip where I count on God’s strength. Instead of picturing my fears, I’ll turn around and head straight into God’s arms as He powers my trip. 

Are you a cheerless Christian?

July 31, 2025

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The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Psalm 126:3 NIV

In a few days, my good friend will celebrate her wedding anniversary with her sweet husband. As I’ve been praying for her, I came across this beautiful verse in the Psalms. How appropriate it is for a couple’s reflections on their shared life or for someone enjoying their birthday.

Mike and I have been married almost 46 years and we can say with grateful hearts that the Lord has worked marvelously in our lives. And no, I’m not overlooking the painful months and years. But the good far outweighs the troubles!  

Spurgeon has reflected that often Christians go around gloomy, consumed with problems, oblivious to God’s goodness. That should not be!  If anyone is in Christ, then he has experienced a wonderful transformation of his status. For sure THAT qualifies as a great thing. Besides, what kind of calling card are we Christians if we talk about our woes all the time?  Or wear a cheerless countenance? 

For one, we all know that a thankful heart is good medicine. But more importantly, the Father delights in giving His kids good gifts. Learning graciously to receive them makes Him happy.  

So, recall some of God’s recent blessings and put a smile on your face! You never know who might ask you why you’re so happy, opening a door to the Gospel.

What do you do after you ask God for His wisdom?

July 28, 2025

Maria Ephesians 1, God's wisdom, Matthew 6, Trusting God , , , 1 Comment

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. Ephesians 1:17 NIV

You know how people often advise “You better not pray for patience, for then the Lord will give you lots of opportunities to practice!”?  Similarly, I believe that asking for God’s wisdom brings on situations where we must turn away from trusting ourselves and instead look to Him for guidance. 

Mike’s brother and his wife find themselves in this situation as they search for a house. They’ve been house-hunting on and off for more than a year. They sold their last home some years ago. And ever since have been renting. Presently, they are living with Eve’s mom in Toronto, taking care of her.  But they have to find a new place to live soon and that back in the US, for Steve, Mike’s brother is not Canadian as is Eve. 

All along they have been praying for wisdom and a breakthrough in a tight real estate market in upstate New York. I don’t know their hearts, but if they are like me, I have often pleaded with the Lord for wisdom and then continued on doing what I thought was right. 

Recently, God dropped some guidance into Eve’s heart.  It actually was a reminder of something He had told her a while back, something she had ignored. The counsel was this: “First find the church. Then you’ll find the house.” She took Him seriously this time.

When Eve texted me her word from God, I grew excited. God’s direction to her resonated with me. It’s confirmation of Jesus’ commandment: Seek first and prioritize God’s kingdom and then all these things you need will fall into place. (paraphrase of Matthew 6:33) 

Paul, in his encouraging letter to the Ephesians,  links praying for wisdom with the purpose of knowing our God better.  Various other wise Christians agree. From my journal where I collect quotes, here are three such writers.

– Malcolm Muggeridge once wrote, “Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message.”

–Oswald Chambers penned the same.  “In each event, we should say: Speak, Lord, for I am listening and ready to receive.”

–And Ken Boa has taught: “Events in our lives are not neutral; they are God-given opportunities to gain wisdom.”

Looking at the Hebrew term for wisdom, I’ve discovered that this practical or ethical knowledge for living life, hakmah, can also be a kinesthetic attribute. Like a motor skill, it’s something we do, a physical ability we grow in, like a craft. 

As I pray for my brother- and sister-in-law to keep seeking and receiving God’s guidance, I ask the same for myself, my family and friends. I trust Him to come through, but I believe He is asking more, that is to let go of depending on ourselves. In the end, as we walk by faith in God’s promise to provide, we will grow to know Him better. 
Fear of the LORD is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment. Proverbs 9:10 NLT

What’s in a name?

July 23, 2025

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The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. John 10:3–4 NLT

Do you ever wonder what name Jesus calls you? Up until Sunday, I assumed that in John’s account of the Savior’s teaching that He would just use my regular name, Maria, to call me. But then I thought about all the whimsical and loving nicknames Mike and I have for each other, our sons and our cats. 

When I met Mike and started dating him, I called him Bear.  Not very original, I know. But then he became Punky Bear, and eventually Bear Chil’. (child, without the final D). He named me Bean, Monkey Bean, and finally Monkey Blossom. Now we refer to ourselves as Bean and Bear. Naming someone denotes love, connection and intimacy. 

I’ll spare you the extra names we’ve bestowed on our two sons and all the cats we’ve loved over the past 45 years of marriage.

Thinking about the God-man and Good Shepherd, why would He not name the sheep under His care?  After all, Adam selected names for all the animals God brought to him.  Believers, disciples of Jesus, are more than sheep that follow Jesus. We are also His little brothers and sisters.  Family members, with whom our Lord enjoys a loving and playful relationship. 

Could He perhaps have more than one pet name for each one of us, according to our moods and our actions? However many, each name communicates His commitment to our well-being. Furthermore, just as we are individually called, we are also blessed to know His voice.  

Maybe you, as I am, are finding that the more time you spend reading God’s history, His letters as well as instructions, that is the Bible, the better you can discern His voice. For sure, I’m learning to distinguish the Lord’s words from those of the thief whose name is Satan. As we learn from Scripture, this foul spirit seeks to blame, shame, separate and destroy us. He has no love for us. And he calls us ugly names.

Wondering about what name Jesus calls me has made me think of the one and only pet name I had as a little girl. My grandmother Mimi lived with us until she died when I was 22.  And she used to call me, ‘Maria Baby Ball’.  (My middle name, Ball, comes from one of my southern ancestor’s surnames.) I cringed as an older child when she used that name. But now I see it for what it was, a sweet way to communicate delight and  closeness to her grandchild whom she loved. 

If God loves birds THIS much……

July 12, 2025

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Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. Matthew 10:29 Berean Standard Bible

We named him Enoch.  Our little bird for whom we have been praying. He finally left the nest in one of our hanging baskets. Each spring, we suspend two ferns from our upstairs balcony.  The first few years living in this house when bird mommas would select one of our plants to lay her eggs,  I would disassemble the nest’s progress each day. Miserly Maria did not want to sacrifice a large fern!  But the bird parents proved unstoppable and I finally yielded to God’s will.  Now we pray for the eggs and the hatchlings to make it.  We don’t water the ‘chosen’ fern, but just monitor it, knowing we’ll replace it once the little ones launch.

This season, as the hanging basket chosen by a new bird family  grew lighter from no water, occasional strong winds would whip it around. One night during a rainstorm, the unthinkable happened. Mike found the fern on the deck the next morning.  Two naked fledglings had been tossed out, one dead and one still breathing.  He quickly scooped up the survivor, carefully placing him back into the nest. 

We started praying, not knowing if the parents would take care of him.  But they did. And Baby Bird started to grow. More rainy and windy days followed, so we carefully placed a small can of tomato sauce in the nest to give it some weight.

In time Enoch, as we named our survivor later, sprouted wings and started to flutter everytime we came near to water the other hanging fern.  His parents appeared attentive, feeding him regularly.  He seemed to have reached maturity.  But he wasn’t leaving the nest.  Could he have PTSD from having been flung to the ground?  Or was one of his wings broken? 

On Monday of this week, an entire community of sparrows flew around the nest, loudly chirping as if to encourage Baby Bird to try his wings.  We didn’t know what to do.  We kept praying for wisdom. We wanted the One who loves birds to handle this, since He knows them better than we do.

Then yesterday we decided to place the hanging basket on the floor of the balcony and turn it so Baby Bird could look out at the sky and not at our balcony door. Once the basket was on the deck, he was almost head down at an angle, looking like he would fall the two inches out of the nest. There he remained, seemingly paralyzed with fear.

A few hours later, he was no more to be seen.  Mike looked all around the balcony and I checked the ground underneath including in the bushes. Enoch was truly gone.  The Lord had come through! Our baby bird had launched.  

Now you can understand why Mike named him Enoch. Genesis 5:24 describes his namesake: Enoch walked with God, and then he was no more, because God had taken him away.

God really did hear and heed our prayers for this little sparrow. What a beautiful picture of why we can be all the more assured that Jesus hears our prayers and knows exactly what we need. We can confidently rest in the Lord who cares for all His creation, especially those who bear God’s image.

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