Who am I, functionally?

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Do you recall Aesop’s fable about the scorpion and the frog? It goes like this.

A frog was about to cross a stream.  A scorpion sitting on the bank asked him for a lift on his back.  The frog hesitated: “What guarantee do I have that you won’t sting me?” he probed. The scorpion reassured him: “If I sting you, then I’ll die, too, as you sink into the water.”  Reassured, the frog started off across the stream with the scorpion on his back. Sure enough, in the middle of the journey, the scorpion stung the frog.  “Why did you do that?” blurted out the frog as paralysis set in. “It’s my nature,” shrugged the scorpion.

I’ve been thinking about identity and actions and the interplay between them ever since I read this verse in Nehemiah 9:8: You have kept your promise, for you are righteous.

What I realize is that the pattern of actions flowing from character and identity work both ways.  Whether we talk about God or you and me.

You can SEE my identity from what I do and say.  Not my true identity but what I functionally believe is my identity.   A lot of times I don’t ACT as a chosen child of God.

The Bible gives us many descriptions of who we are IF we are in Christ, that is if we have been made alive by Christ.

Here are just 3 of these ‘who you are’ statements:

Galatians 4:7 So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God.

Hebrews 2:11 Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.

John 14:26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

From these facts above, this is who I am:

  • I am a son/daughter of the living God, PLUS an heir.
  • I am the brother/sister of Jesus.
  • I am the recipient of the permanently assigned Holy Helper/Counselor/Teacher.

First off, I hear, that is I learn, that I have a family.  I have a holy Father and a divine Brother who is NOT disappointed or ashamed to call me sister.  On top of that, I am coming into an inheritance. Furthermore, I have a protective tutor and guide who will be with me every day on this earth.  I will NEVER be poor, overlooked or ill-advised, ever!

What’s the problem, then?

Just that, if you judged me by my thoughts, my words, my fears, my obsessions or actions, you would NEVER know my identity, that I belong to such an amazing Family.

I know I am not alone in this case of ‘identity amnesia’.  There is, after all, a war going on.  A spiritual battle against the evil, dark, power-full, hate-filled sworn enemy of God.  He uses our brokenness and the pressing needs about which we daily/hourly petition the Lord.

Isn’t this so? Aren’t you dealing with, as-yet unanswered prayers regarding:

  • broken or breaking marriages
  • unsaved family members
  • on-going health issues that drag one down because there seems to be no possible resolution
  • work problems – not enough work or painful work with no immediate relief in sight
  • addictions, whether porn, alcohol, food or pain meds
  • fears of children committing suicide
  • money issues

We say, HOW LONG, LORD!!!!

We get tired.  I know I do. We fall prey to discouragement and fatigue and maybe even some cynicism.  We get used to living with our fears, of worrying. We get used to the voices that say, “It’s never going to change.”

But no!!!  All this may be so, but I don’t want it to be so.  No more!  I don’t want to smear the character, the good name of my Father, the Spirit or my Brother.   I praise God that He is helping me by SLOWLY rearranging my ‘wants’ and priorities:

  • He is increasing my desire to be holy, like Him.
  • He is ordering what prayer tops my daily list.

How so?  It has finally sunk in, that when Jesus taught his disciples, Pray like this…., the first 3 petitions (what should be our TOP PRIORITIES each day) are that the Father’s name BE hallowed, that His kingdom COME, and that His will BE DONE‘DONE’ as is done in heaven by the angels.

When I reflect on my words, thoughts and feelings, I see just WHO I believe myself to be.  As a daughter and a sister of the Holy Family, I have no business being fearful, anxious or discouraged. Those patterns of behavior and speech reflect really horribly on God.

I’m beginning to check myself daily:  If I am the only Christian people meet, well, would they want to join a family and gain a sister like me, one who is grumbly, worried and not sure if she can trust her Dad and Big Brother?

Putting God’s peace on the shelf

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Romans 5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (NIV)

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (NIV)

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (NIV)

What strikes me from the three promises above is that God’s providential peace and God’s providential trouble form the ‘normal’ for the Child of God. (Those outside of God’s family face the suffering without the grace of His peace)

The supernatural spiritual peace we have received is a GIFT.  Yet when I think of all the gifts I have been given by friends and family, I shudder at how I have disposed of them.

Some intrigued me for a while and I used them, a lot.  But then I either put them aside and forgot about them or threw them away. Some I didn’t know what to do with, like the rubber tube about an inch or so in diameter open on both ends.  When I finally took it to my daughter-in-law to ask her ‘What in the heck is this for?’, I laughed to find out it was a garlic skin remover.  Others I regifted, immediately.  A few I even returned for the cash!

Similarly, I have treated God’s gift of peace, without the awe and gratitude it deserves.  Thankfully, a prayer I read this morning reminded me NOT to fear present or future suffering but to cling to the peace that is part of my inheritance from God.

So…. YES, trials ARE ordained for us, for our sanctification.  But God has given us His peace, which surrounds us on all sides.  This beyond-words peace (“….God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand – Phil 4:7 NLT) IS larger than our troubles and suffering.  The gift has been given.  Let us not put this beautiful provision out of sight, on the shelf.

But instead may we fix our gaze, that is, the eyes of our heart, on our costly birthright purchased for us by Jesus at the Cross.

 

The gift of neediness

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needy  How does our society view neediness?  Is it commendable or deplorable?

not-good-to-be-needy

I’m beginning to view my neediness differently.

Up until this year, a packed school week with meetings, evening obligations and reduced time for lesson planning routinely has stressed me out and caused me to DREAD the days ahead.

For example, last year on Friday afternoons, my extra duty was to arrange for and supervise a small group of 6th and 7th graders in a weekly community service activity.  We prepared meals at a women’s shelter in Asheville.  Just the idea of the motivating and encouraging and CONTROLLING these young students sufficiently to focus, work together and clean up all on a time schedule without devolving into a noisy chaos AND missing the bus back to school was painful.

I ‘griMMed’ and bore it.  Yet despite my faithless and pathetic prayers,  (yes I prayed and simultaneously ‘angsted’) God always came through.  You’d think I would have learned how NOT to trouble my heart and the futility of creating this fear and dread picture of what lay ahead.

If the utter uselessness of worry, fear and dread were not enough to convince me, wouldn’t you think I’d be horrified at the idea of disobeying my God and my Savior?  You know Him, our God who COMMANDS us NOT to fear, but to offload all our burdens onto His shoulders?  If I’m not going to believe His words, then why not tap into my God-given ability to imagine?  To what am I referring?

It turns out that I’m actually quite creative when it comes to painting MY personal dread pictures of what I THINK likes ahead.  Can I not use those same artistic faculties to picture  Jesus’ ordeal in Gethsemane?  That awful night when bloody sweat globules bathed His body as He anticipated taking on my sorrows and sins?  He conquered sin and sorrow so I wouldn’t have to take them on, single-handedly.  I don’t HAVE to dread any future moment.  For reality is if I abide in Him, if I walk yoked together with Jesus, then I won’t ever dwell a second deprived of His provision and presence.

John 14:27  I leave peace with you; I give my peace to you: not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it fear.

Somehow over the summer and now into September, my thinking is changing.  I’m beginning to view my neediness, my lack of sufficient time, energy, ideas as a gift.  How is that?

Each day when I feel strapped and resourceless, I am much quicker to select a promise and hug it for all its worth as I move into what frightens me.  And because I’m repeating God’s pledge to myself, because I’m praying it to Him as I tell Him how much I’m relying on Him to provide what He says say He’ll do, I feel CLOSER to Jesus. 

Talking to God throughout my days from the moment the alarm breaks into my sleep to when I settle back into bed at night, makes me sense Him next to me.  You might call it only my imaginings.  But I imagined enough dread scenarios to know that what I picture causes my feelings, both good and bad.

My conclusion? Here’s what both startles and delights me: this neediness, this insufficiency to do most anything given the time and resources I can see for the day ahead is turning into a gift. A ‘practicing the presence of God’ by turning my thoughts to Him makes me feel happier.  When I’m not need, my thoughts float elsewhere.

Could it be that this is what Jesus meant when He taught:

Happy are the needy, the beggars, those who are not self-sufficient and who know it, for they get the presence of the happy holy triune provisioning God!      (Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God – Matthew 5:3)

 

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