Suffering – a daily reality

October 6, 2013

Maria Deuteronomy, Fear, Isaiah, James, suffering, Trials , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

“Expect suffering every day”   – so says Tullian Tchividjian in his book Glorious Ruin – How Suffering Makes You Free.

Just that concept, that suffering is part of daily life, is liberating.   I have spent too much energy trying to ward off suffering, rather than relaxing in the knowledge that Jesus is with me in my daily trials.

Maybe you share some of these false ideas that I have entertained:

  • if my suffering isn’t as bad as starving children, persecuted Christians, languishing prisoners, tsunami-victims, cancer patients, then it doesn’t count
  • if I pray effectively enough, I can block or mitigate the suffering in the lives of those whom I love
  • suffering is to be avoided
  • if I’m suffering, then God is either absent, doesn’t care, can’t do anything or  just is not good

As I have written before, I wouldn’t have chosen or planned ANY of the suffering in my life, but I do see the blessings that have come to me from

  • eating disorders
  • anxiety issues
  • marriage problems
  • money crises
  • perplexing parenting decisions and situations
  • fears of POOR parenting
  • inadequacies I have seen and still see in myself
  • consequences of bad decisions
  • relational pain that I have caused friends and family members because of my sin
  • spiritual ups & downs
  • being fired once
  • receiving a poor performance review at a former school
  • pets and parents who have aged and died
  • lost dreams

And so now, in the present moment, as I currently suffer with

  • a dying cat
  • a rough start in a new school
  • a tighter budget
  • doubts about my abilities in all my roles with others

…….I remind myself that just as there were past blessings that flourished in the soil of suffering,  God has good (what the Hebrews call TOV) planned for me that will be revealed in the current pain.  Therefore,  I strengthen myself in the Lord with His promises of present help and future grace.  Here are just 4 of many, many great proclamations from our loving and all-wise Father:

  • Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10) 
  • No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11b) 
  • Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1: 2-4)
  • Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of _______(whatever the circumstance) _______ for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deut 31:6)

What promises of God are YOU clinging to?

My Fears and God’s Faithfulness

June 16, 2013

Maria Faith, Fear, James, Uncategorized , 1 Comment

Job and his three ‘friends’

I think we are scared to articulate our fears because of Job’s observation, “That which I feared has come upon me!”  Job 3:25

I am so very grateful that all the things we worried about (worry – repent….worry – repent….) did NOT happen.

Each time the ‘what-ifs’ attacked, we would discuss them and place them in their proper context that started like this, “Yes, we are scared that:

–      our loan approval won’t go through at the last moment, or will be delayed, or they will ask for some documentation that we don’t have

–      the cats will get loose, or old Leia will die from the stress of the move

–      the back-to-back closings won’t come together in the correct sequence

–      our buyer will back out at the last moment

–      the moving trucks won’t make it up and around the hairpin turns (can you say, “26-foot moving truck!”)

–      the house in Newport News will be damaged by the movers carrying out furniture

–      the house in NC will be damaged by the movers carrying in furniture”

…and continue with one of us reminding the other:

“But God has shown Himself faithful in the past, by…..”

And we would tick off numerous answers to difficult needs in the past

Why are we afraid to hope that something good will come to pass?  Is it because of our 24/7 news culture that blasts wave upon wave of human pain, natural disasters & examples of our evil hearts?   My faulty reasoning goes like this, “Why should I expect to receive anything good when so many people are suffering?”

Thankfully, God has taught me HOW to correct my thinking through the example of the psalmists, the prophets and some of Israel & Judah’s good kings who proclaim how loving and good our God is.  Aren’t you über-glad and grateful that we belong to a GOOD God and not an evil God?   We take His goodness for granted at times and at other times fear that our allotted blessings have been used up.

Here is how I should more accurately reason each morning when I awake and need to dispel the ‘Eeyore thoughts that hover:  “Maria, if God saved you when you were indifferent to Him, how much more will He lavish His loving gifts on you now that you are in relationship with Him as His daughter?”  We have to go from the greater to the lesser.  Jesus’ substitutionary death on the Cross was a much more difficult and loving act for God than coordinating our move!

Today is Fathers’ Day.  The ultimate Father who delights to give His kids good gifts is who we worship as our Eternal and Holy God.  When men are fathering at their unselfish best, one can get a glimpse of how God delights to cover us with His love.  We just have to magnify that little speck of human love by infinity.

So here’s how God did more than we dreamed of hoping as we still cast cares on him daily and sometimes hourly:

Moving Day - thank you Lord for these 2 men and their chainsaw

1)    The day before we closed and moved in, we had our walk-through with the couple who built and lovingly tended this mountain home.  During our two-hour briefing, they gave us the phone number of a Mexican man who clears land and has a chain saw.  The next day, as we drove up the hill, keys in hand and cats in the back, we greeted the first obstacle: a fallen tree from the previous night lay across the road.  It proved heavier than we could budge.  We prayed and then I called the chain-saw man.  Abel & a helper ‘just happened to be’ across the highway clearing some brush and weeding for the Balsam Post Office.  They arrived in 10 minutes, drove back to Waynesville to fetch their chainsaw. Within 45 minutes that tree was chopped and dispatched. Thirty dollars paid for a provision of grace long-ago earmarked for us on 14 June 2013.

Moving Day - Here comes Truck # 1 up the gravel rd

2)    Our only neighbors had a truck blocking our descent on that same ‘day-before’ visit with the sellers of our house.  We met Marcia as we asked to have the truck pulled in so we could get by.  The driver of that truck rued the entry into our area and said the drop off and narrow gravel road with jutting rocks made it difficult to maneuver past.  When I mentioned that a same-sized truck was coming the following day and going further UP the hill with switch-backs, he said, “God bless them!”  Of course, that experience caused Mike and me to go round and round with the fear of the movers NOT being able to make it up our hill.

So imagine our surprise when one of the drivers called not 24 hours later on D Day (delivery day)) and said they were up the gravel road at the fork and wanted to know which way to go.  They had already passed the jutting boulder- what a blessing to see them coming up the hill!  Only one glitch at the end caused some more desperate prayers, but God provided planks that the previous owner had left in the basement!

Moving Day - Planks helped get out of rut

Thank you ALL for praying so faithfully and encouraging us.  I believe that your prayers provided the raw material for God to bless us.  I love how Jesus’ brother puts it (as translated by the Amplified Bible) “The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” James 5:16

Through the challenges of the past 11 months, we have seen God answer one need after another.  When we’ve been in the dark, we ‘did what was at hand’ and trusted that He would provide more info on the morrow.  That’s basically Elizabeth Elliot’s philosophy of ‘how to know God’s will’ – prayerfully and in reliance on Him, do the next thing at hand.

Knowing me and Mike, we will still battle fears, but we have MORE examples of God’s faithfulness to refer back to.  “Remember when/how God…..” are words that you all probably say a lot too.  It’s good to build a track record with God – of His mighty works.

“Incoming! Take Cover!” aka Not My Thoughts

May 26, 2013

Maria Anxiety, Colossians, Control, Fear, James, Peace, Uncategorized , , , , , 1 Comment

You want to know what I am worrying about?

  • ·         The expectations of my new school OF ME and the time I will have to devote at Carolina Day School  (what if I don’t have enough ‘maria-time’??????)
  • ·         Our shower basin will get so ‘grodily’ mildewed in the next two weeks that the buyer won’t want to close on our house
  • ·         That something else will break in our house and the buyer won’t want to close on our house
  • ·         That one or more of our kids/ grandkids will die
  • ·         The future illnesses/deaths of our cats and end-of-life decisions

My husband thinks I don’t fight the temptation/sin of worry.  I asked him this morning, “Why do you think I write about worry, fear and anxiety so much?”  Isn’t it obvious that I’m trying to fight them?  To get a biblical handle on how to frame them properly?

Here is how the Lord has been helping me through His living Word and via the writings of other Christians.

Several times in Scripture God affirms that He resists the proud BUT gives MORE grace to the humble (for example – James 4:6).  As I’ve been memorizing some verses in James around this particular truth, I’m coming to realize that Pride presents itself in 2 different forms:

1. Well, at least I don’t do XYZ like Joe/Jill!!!!  (and the many smug versions of this kind of ‘put-down’ comparisons)

2. What if XYZ doesn’t happen like the way I want it to? (and the many anxious versions of how I want life to turn out)

What’s God’s solution? First off, He communicates that these attitudes are demonic/ satanic/ out of the pit of hell.  They are NOT my thoughts.  They are an attack.

Just knowing that those fears I listed above originate outside of me gives me HUGE relief!  I can relax in God’s assessment and then accept and use His provision of rescue.  Here’s what the half-brother of Jesus counsels:

First – submit to God – turn toward Him and accept His truth of what is happening.

Fear, anxiety and smugness are ALL SIN!   Father and Big Brother Jesus  both command in numerous places:  Fear Not……Do Not Be Anxious……Repent & Rest…. Confidently Rely on God…Thank God in ALL Circumstances…Take Shelter in God, Not in Men

Second – resist the Devil – copy Jesus who used the living word – “It is written…”, when He was attacked by Satan.

Of course, the Bible is realistic.  These plaguing and demoralizing attacks will pop up again.  Even Jesus knew that His victory over Satan in the desert was just one of more to come.  Why should we expect anything less?

I have come to understand that FEAR/PRIDE are really one and the same.  Just as a coin has two faces, this sinful posture reflects the 2-sided family flaw we inherited from our first parents, Adam & Eve.  Both responses flow out of our human bent to think we know what is best for us. 

Here’s my version of one of those situations above:

Our Virginia house had better ‘close’ with no problems on 12 June so we can move into our Carolina house on 14 June.

That’s pride – thinking I know what is best for Mike & Maria. 

Fear flows out from that, “ What if it doesn’t go according to our plan?”  And since I have lived in the world long enough to know that I can’t control everything, worries set in.

What to do?

I’m learning to imitate mature Christians:  I speak God’s truth back to myself. Here are some examples.

·         God sees all the circumstances. (I don’t!)

·         He knows what is best. (Not me!)

·         He won’t withhold any good thing from me -Ps 84:11. (Really!)

·         I can trust Him to know and give me what is good for me.

·         All things work together for my good. (Rom 8:28)

·         God is truly in control and plans/controls/ordains/directs/allows all things that happen.

·         Who am I to think I would understand God’s ways and what is best?

I will close with a very helpful reflection that I read this weekend.  Here’s the link to the whole post (it’s definitely worth reading! )   Countering our negative assessments

The author wrote –

  • Nothing bad can happen unless there is something more than Christ that you want.

  •  So the Worst Case Scenario — is only a possible scenario if you want something more than Christ.

Each time I remind myself of that reality, I exhale and relax.  That’s right – I DO HAVE Christ!  And once you HAVE Christ (‘Christ in me, the hope of glory’ – where hope means assurance/expectation/guarantee/promise – Colossians 1:27) all else pales, because all else is just temporary.


The sin of fear – the illogic of fear

May 12, 2013

Maria 1 Peter, Fear, suffering, Uncategorized , Leave a comment

Fear!  What would it be like to live with NO FEAR whatsoever (except for the helpful internal-adrenaline- provision in case of real saber-tooth tiger threats)?

I asked my 8th grade Logic class on Thursday – “What is the absolute worst act of evil ever committed in the history of the world?”

The fifth student’s answer was correct!  – the murder of the son of God.

But if THAT crime was planned by God before the creation of the universe, and it was meant for our good, then what does logic say about all the lesser horrid acts/ disasters/ mistakes and problems?

Those Roman logicians called this the ‘a fortiori’ argument – reasoning from the greater to the lesser.

I think this logic is the answer to my very-well-practiced groove of fear and anxiety. A good friend knows that I struggle with the sin of unbelief when I fear for the road safety of my kids.  (She has her own inner battles of unbelief and fear – just not this particular one).

 In a further aside, since it is Mother’s Day, I will tell you, that this FEAR ABOUT ROAD SAFETY is the one negative bad habit I learned from my mother.  Kids DO absorb our outlook and patterns of thinking and reacting.

Here’s how this thinking goes:

·         God is sovereign over every molecule in the universe

·         God planned the crucifixion for His good purposes

·         Good came out of it then and keeps ensuing

·         The lesser bad stuff I could potentially fear is also planned by God for my/our ultimate good  (this doesn’t make evil/mistakes/ calamities any less  grievous or painful when they happen)

·         Eventual good for me and others is the purpose of everything that happens

·         What God means for good comes WITH His loving care and control of every detail

·         Therefore, if God promises that He will withhold NO good thing from me, then what happens, no matter HOW it comes packaged, is meant to be the vehicle of good.  (I DO NOT mean that cruelty, disabilities and disease, theft, floods, indifference or my own sin, and a thousand other bad things are good in themselves)

Do I know and understand all the purposes of God?  No, that is risible to even think a human would or could?  But there are plenty of verses in the Bible to assure me that God is good and trustworthy AND in control of everything.

Pastor and teacher Dr. R.C. Sproul has said, “There is no maverick molecule if God is sovereign.” If He cannot control the tiniest bits of the universe, then we cannot trust Him to keep His word. The Lord vowed to bring Abraham’s sons out of Egypt (Gen. 15:12–16), but if Joseph was not the object of his father’s favoritism, his brothers would not have envied him. If they had not envied him, they would not have sold him to the Ishmaelites, Israel would not have gone into Egypt, and God could not have kept His promise to the patriarch (37–50).

So back to my fears:  I’m starting to think through the irrationality of fearing anything.  Fear and anxiety come from the mistaken double notion that

a)   I can control anything

b)   I know what is best for me and you.

In the next few days and weeks as God supplies me with plenty of practice in which to ‘test-ride’ this truth, I’ll collect some thoughts and write about them soon.

What about you?  How do YOU deal with the sin of fear and worry?

1 Peter 4:19

So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Prayers, Fears and Promises

May 1, 2013

Maria Faith, Fear, Prayer, Uncategorized , , , , 4 Comments

“Bzzzzz,” vibrated my phone in the middle of Senior Theses presentations last night. A student was defending her claim about the on-going effects of the French Revolution, when I glanced over to see the name of the Middle School principal who interviewed me 6 weeks ago in Asheville, NC.  However, since I was one of 2 judges, I couldn’t satisfy my curiosity at that moment.

By the time I WAS free; the civilized deadline for calling future bosses had come and gone.  But patience has its rewards and the news was good this morning.  I got the job!  So thank you for your prayers. I will be teaching French to Middle-Schoolers in the fall.

Now don’t you feel encouraged? – You, the Church?  I know that when I have prayed persistently and over a long period of time, my faith is strengthened upon learning how God has met the need of a brother or sister.  Answered prayer makes me want to pray all the more!  My unbelief is diminished and light expands to push back the dark corners of doubt.

On a side note, God DOES  have a sense of humor.  In our private prayers about this job, Mike and I had specifically asked God to provide me with a French job with a salary range of between X and Y.  And the offer was X!  (not a penny over).  I think Mike was a bit disappointed at first.  Who doesn’t hope for more?  But I can picture God smiling, having arranged the sure way to keep our hope in HIM, the owner and provider of ALL our resources, and not in cash flow.

Despite this great news, I confess that I still struggle with fears and what ifs.

I know – you’re surprised!

You’d think that with this answered prayer, coming on the heels of  last week’s offer on our current house (thank you, Father!), I’d not fear or worry about anything!

It’s true – I have to daily engage in the uphill hand- to- hand combat for faith.  My French 4 girls and I have been translating a list of 10 Truths/Reminders about God.  A young American pastor, Matt Reagan, compiled them in college when he realized that each morning he woke up having forgotten about God.

Demonic alchemy happens in the night and faith evaporates when that alarm goes off.  We have to RE-MEMBER / RE-CONSTRUCT our faith-foundation all over again.   It’s like putting on one’s defensive knight’s armor, piece by piece to engage the day.

Hence, my daily pondering of which promises/ truths encourage me the most:   When the dark clouds of fear start rolling in, I push back firmly with the brilliant rays of God’s truths.  Here are just 3 of those dailies:

·         No good thing does God withhold from those whose way is upright (Ps 84:11)

·         The Lord is with me, I will not fear; what can man do to me? (Psalm 118:6)

·         God works all things for my good because I have been called by Him and I love Him (Romans 8:32)  

 Join with me and let’s undertake this challenge together:  think about what daily spiritual vitamins protect you, feed you, strengthen you, empower you and share them.  Let’s not be anemic, starving Christians, for want of the power available in God’s word.

For the word of God is alive and full of power.

PS: The French translate Jesus/the Logos in John 1 as ‘the verb’.  Can’t you just picture active, coursing super-natural power? 

Reflections on waiting

February 8, 2013

Maria Faith, Fear, Genesis, Prayer, Uncategorized, Waiting , , , , , 1 Comment

This waiting thing – we’re in the thick of it!

  • Waiting for the house to sell
  • Waiting to get a teaching job in NC
  • Waiting for Mike’s first paying client
  • Waiting for Wes to return from Afghanistan

Not that waiting isn’t part of others’ lives, too:

  • Our brother and sister-in-law are waiting for her immigration paperwork to come through.
  • Friends are waiting for babies – to be born and to be adopted
  • Many sisters & brothers in Christ are waiting for loved ones to be brought into God’s forever family
  • Other friends are waiting for healing and pain to subside
  • A friend is waiting for her husband finally to receive the career recognition he deserves and longs for
  • Another friend is waiting for debt to be paid off so she can marry

I realized something last night that shifted my view of how God is working.  I’m a lot more relaxed this time around selling a house.  The first time was when we were 27 years old.  Mike had moved out to Monterey, Graham was a baby and we were desperate to sell a house in Arizona.  DES-PER-ATE.  I bugged the real estate agent every day.  God was gracious and brought a buyer in 3 months, despite my total lack of faith.

The last time we sold a house, I had started growing spiritually through the means of Bible Study Fellowship, but was living functionally still as an atheist.  I was 42 this time around.  As I fretted internally, worrying about 30 times a day, “What if…..!!!!”  (at least I didn’t phone our realtor every day!), God brought welcome relief in the form of a verse.  We had studied Genesis the previous year in BSF and all of a sudden I recalled the promise God made to Abraham when the old man, like me, was fearful, tired & discouraged.

Gen 15:1 Fear not Abram, I am your shield and your very great reward!

All of a sudden, my behavior switched.  I consciously chose to sub in that very promise from God each and every time I caught myself falling into worry and fear.  I would literally shake my head and actually stand up to that worry/fear thought:

NO!  then I would say to the Lord…

God, YOU are my shield and my very great reward, therefore, I will not fear.

Instead of playing the worry movie 20 – 30 times in a day, I affirmed God’s Word over and over again.  A month later, God brought the buyer.

Now I’m 55 and we’re selling our 3rd house.  My goal is to offer my waiting to God as worship.  I want to PLEASE my Father by demonstrating that I trust him.  As Graham reminded me yesterday in a phone call, ‘We have a rich and powerful Father, so we can relax’.

The realization that struck me last night came in reflecting about how we came to find the house that we are going to purchase in North Carolina, God-willing.  From Thanksgiving through mid January, we had been ‘studying’ available houses, making a list of features, comparing them in Excel (a side benefit that comes from being married to an analytical husband!) all in preparation for a house-visiting trip last month.  Our goal was to make an offer on a house over that January weekend since Waynesville is 8 hours away by car from Newport News.

We arrived on Saturday at the real estate agent’s office and in addition to the list of houses we had planned to visit; she added one that had ‘just popped up’,  being listed 2 days earlier on the Thursday.  It wasn’t part of our ‘careful study’.

And as you might guess, that is the house we have chosen.

Do you see what I realized last night?  At just the RIGHT time, God brought ‘our house’ to us, not dependent on our analysis and searching.

If I extrapolate, at just the RIGHT time, God will bring:

The buyer for our current house…….The job offer for me……etc

Yes, our efforts are important – But God doesn’t want frenzied, desperate efforts.  Reasonable next steps/actions that come from a deep, relaxed and confident dependence on God are the kind that honor our Father.

Lord, thank you for Christ:  my Anchor, my Blissful Rock, my Big Brother, my Champion and Author and Finisher of the faith implanted in me.  Give me the humility to keep casting these cares back on You, because I KNOW You love us and have our best interests at heart.

God meets our needs very creatively!

Entitled to what?

September 6, 2012

Maria Attitude, Fear, Joy, Romans , , 2 Comments

Entitlements are a hot potato in today’s political climate.  You want someone’s vote?  Promise that you will fight to increase what is their ‘due’.  But what sounds like a benefit is actually poisonous and harmful to one’s wellbeing.

The feeling of entitlement sets us up for:

  • Anger
  • Bitterness
  • Resentment
  • Anxiety
  • Fear

You can recognize the seed of entitlement within when you start to say, “I deserve…..”

Truthfully, there is only one thing we deserve:  DEATH!!!

God says, “The wages of sin are death.” (Romans 6:23)

Starting back in Eden’s paradise, sin required the death of someone.  When Adam & Eve turned from trusting in God, animals died:

Satan:  “You DESERVE unlimited access to all the trees in Eden. Is it fair that God should withhold from you that tree over there – the ‘Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil’?”

Adam & Eve:  “Hmm…no that ISN’T fair.  We deserve……”

**

Closer to our day, consider these common scenarios. Think of the feelings they might engender:

  • I deserved that promotion, not Joe!
  • When I get on the scale and I’ve deprived myself for a week, I should weigh……
  • My husband should know that I need adult conversation after 12 hours at home dealing with toddlers!
  • Who does that idiot driver think he is, cutting me off like that! He should know how to drive before he gets behind the wheel!
  • My time is valuable- Walmart should hire more clerks!
  • No one ever notices the work I do.  I try to make a difference here at the office.  But I never get any credit.  They don’t appreciate me at all!
  • After my long commute and the hours I put in at the office, I need some chill time to myself.  The kids ought to know better and leave me in peace.
  • He knows my hot buttons.  He shouldn’t have said that!
  • I deserve the A, not him!  I did my research the correct way, wrote a rough draft first before my final copy.  All Sam did was pull it out of the air during an all-nighter.  Why can’t our prof see that!!!

My friend and I are reading a book that is changing how I see my life.  It’s called  Calm My Anxious Heart – A Woman’s Guide to Finding Contentment

The author’s premise is that when we COMPLAIN or COMPARE or WONDER how the past might have been different or FANTASIZE about the future or DWELL on tomorrow – We are destroying our contentment.

I am actually beginning to catch my internal complaints.  I have come to realize that my normal sinful bent to be impatient is a form of complaining.  When someone is taking up MORE of my time than I want to give, I am actually saying, “This should not be happening!”

Not only does contentment evaporate like rain on a hot Tampa afternoon, I am actually lying.  Who says that THIS should NOT be happening?  Who says that I SHOULD have designer-life?   After all, I deserve death.

Let’s get honest, though.

The above examples are actually not the ones that try my soul.  It is my fears that pose a greater challenge.

  • When I start to fear the death of a loved one in a car accident…….
  • When I start to fear not being able to find another job teaching French…..
  • When I start to fear a family member never being saved by Christ…..

I think what I am really saying to God is this:

I have a vision of the future that I think is best.  I’m afraid that it is not going to work out the way I want because I know that I am not in control.  I actually NEED you, God, to make it like I want!

A more precise translation would be:  I should be guaranteed the exact unfolding of my vision of the future as it concerns me.

**

The antidote to my misplaced, misinformed sense of entitlement? – Repentance and trust in Jesus

This is why the Gospel has to be my life, every breath of the day.  Exhale-repent/ inhale-trust.  This is the only way to walk in Christ, to live by means of Christ, by means of His light, by means of His love.  When I detour off HIS path toward MY entitlements, the raucous WARNING-WARNING-WARNING of fear, anger, resentment, bitterness, impatience alerts me.

Once again, it’s back to:    Breathe out my sin – breathe in His Grace – feel His joy and presence.

About Trials – Letter to a Friend

September 24, 2011

Maria Fear, Idols, Isaiah , 4 Comments

My Dear Friend

I, Maria, a fellow believer, called by Christ to be an ambassador and servant of the New Covenant, write this letter to encourage you and offer a perspective about the trial you are undergoing.  I have prayed for you for years.  Usually I have begged God to remove the trial.  But just this week, I have heard a different message about trials and now want to pass this on to you.  It is shaping how I am praying for you.

First I read J.I. Packer discuss trials in the context of the sanctification process. Trials are not to be feared, because we have the assurance that we are well loved since we have been adopted and given the full status and benefits accompanying son-ship.  Our status is not in question when we are tried, tested and undergo rigorous lessons in the Spirit-led school house. Rather, trials are the means by which our characters are transformed to be more like our older brother.  Packer writes, “God wants his children, whom he loves, to bear his character, and he takes action accordingly.”

Next I heard Mark Dever admit that he was a weak and immature pastor in the way he has prayed for his parishioners in the past.  Now instead of just asking God to remove trials, he focuses more on the gains to them from this time in the furnace.  He still prays for release from disease, joblessness, relationship pain but also prays for much more.  He sees the positive purpose of trials. (This way of praying reminds me of John Piper praying that his cancer NOT be wasted).

Finally, I was listening to Joni Erikson Tada’s musings about rose petals.  When crushed between two fingers, they release sweet fragrances.  She was mentioning this in the context of battling a recent lung infection on top of her quadriplegia and breast cancer.  She was attempting to deal rightly with suffering upon suffering in a way that was biblical.  She admitted that she doesn’t understand the ‘whys and wherefores’ of all of her struggles and medical setbacks, but fights to trust the one through whose hands all things come filtered for our good and His glory.

So dear friend, please know that I continue to pray night and day for you that:

  • God would comfort you and be with you through this suffering he has chosen for you
  • This trial would remove all idols from your life, those things which we love and ‘have to have’ more than God
  • That you would embrace it and go through the Valley without fear, knowing that Jesus is with you
  • That you would KNOW without a doubt that what God has given you already IS ENOUGH (a restored relationship with Him and real hope for uninterrupted life and future glory)

You might react with scorn:, “Easy enough for you to say, Maria!  What you call this short and fleeting life feels oppressive and I’m tired.  I just want to lie down and be done with the suffering.”   But remember something, dear one.  Since I love and care for you, I suffer too.  Love always bears the pain of the other.  So to you and to me I say,  let us “Take courage, fear not, behold our God!”   (Is 35:4)  And in beholding, may we become like Him.

The sin of fear and how to fight it

August 20, 2011

Maria Deuteronomy, Fear, Hebrews, Romans, Sin , , Leave a comment

A young Christian woman I met confided that she had recently lost a baby at 28 weeks and that was after 2 previous miscarriages.  She asked that I pray for God’s help in dealing with her persistent fear that she might lose other precious members of her family:  her 3 yr old daughter or her husband.  My heart lurched when I read her email.  What pain! Imagining what she might be going through made my heart sink.  I could well understand her fear, her drawing back and throwing herself in front of her husband and daughter as a brave ‘warrioress’, shouting:  “No further, Angel of Death!”

John Piper gave a talk at a recent Passion weekend to college students about why we should memorize scripture.  He reminded the audience that the Sword of the Spirit, i.e. God’s Word, is the ONLY offensive weapon we have.  He said that when we talk, announce, declare, shout out God’s promises which are ‘alive and full of power’ (Hebr 4:12) we wage active war against our sin.  And the first sin he mentioned was FEAR.

Fear and its cousin, anxiety, are ever-present enemies.  They are sins because they replace our trust in God.  John Piper who has battled depression and fear throughout his life has a useful acronym.  I shared it with the grieving mom and thought it would help all of us.  It is:  A-P-T-A-T

A – admit you have a need and are helpless, whether it is worry, lack of wisdom, money problems, ANYTHING that you can articulate. Spell out the problem.

P – pray and ask for help from God (remember that we have not because we ask not – James 4:20)

T – trust God that He will provide.  Pick a particular promise and make that your friend.  I googled ‘verses to fight fear’ and found a whole list. Here’s a good one from Deuteronomy 31:6   Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them (i.e. fearful, anxious thoughts); for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”   When the fear thought pops in to your mind, you can say, “No!! I will not fear.  I WILL be strong and courageous for God is my Lord; He is THE ONE who goes with me.  He will not leave me or forsake me….and…(you can add other truths like – He is Jehovah Sabaoth – Lord of the angel armies)

A – act and do what you have to do, counting on the Holy Spirit to be with you and provide what He has promised.  We have to move out despite the fear.

T – thank God for what He IS doing and has done to slay that sin.

And I would add an R.  APTAT and Re-APTAT…as in, when we succumb to the sin of fear, anxiety, lust, idolatry, self-centeredness (and the list goes on…) that we REPENT and start again.  Even if we have to use this tool multiple times a day, it doesn’t matter.  There is ‘NO (SHAME or) CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).  It’s pure pride to give up and say, “That’s just the way I am, I am a worrier, I am a fearful person, I cannot overcome this sin of ______!”

Let’s put on our boxing gloves, and fight the good fight of faith, using the ONE weapon God has given us, His Holy Word.

If you want to hear the talk by John Piper on God’s word as a weapon and the power of memorizing scripture, here’s the link:

John Piper’s talk

 

Treasure and True Confessions

July 21, 2011

Maria Fear, Isaiah, Proverbs , 2 Comments

The fear of the Lord is his treasure – Isaiah 33:6

I love the fear of the Lord, that concept.  I know that sounds weird.  But let me explain myself.  We all fear something or someone.  Just like we all worship something.  In fact, I will go as far as to say that God has MADE us to fear and to worship.  Those tendencies are wired into us.  Our problem comes when we fear or worship anything other than God.

So who might we fear?  I actually fear others, what others MIGHT think of me.  That holds me back from doing what I should.

If you knew me, you would be surprised.  I appear to be a very self-confident and competent woman who is outgoing.  But my secret, paralyzing fear is this:  if I talk about Jesus to either strangers OR friends who are not Christians, they are going to:

a)   Think that I am a________ (picture in your mind the most simpleton/hokey/red-neck, drooling Christian you can imagine) and/or

b)   They are going to want to avoid me the next time our paths cross and I am going to know why!

Both of those scenarios are distasteful to me.

Because of what I fear, I don’t talk directly about Jesus.  Diagnosis?  I fear man rather than God.  Why do I value and seek THEIR approval and high regard more than God’s?  Do I really think so little of Jesus’ work on the cross that I am loathe to bring it up amidst people drowning in their own sin? Good question!  I don’t know.  But I do know it is wrong.

Since undertaking a challenge with my young friend Caitlin, I have grown more aware of this misplaced fear.  Caitlin is 17 years old.  She and I recently read a book by James Boccardo, Unsilenced:  How to Voice the Gospel.  Caitlin read it once and started talking to people about Jesus.  I had read it twice when she emailed me a couple of weeks ago.  Caitlin has been talking about life after death and Jesus to Wal-Mart greeters, Dollar Store employees, and her supervisor where she volunteers. How’s that for guts! Her boldness shamed me into finally taking the plunge.  Stalling, waiting around, talking about, re-reading the book had produced no magic melting away of fear.

I am comforted and encouraged to know that Caitlin is praying for me as I stick my big toe into this new experience.  So far, my imagined scenarios have not materialized with the three people I’ve approached.  Nonetheless, daily I have to talk to myself about why fearing the Lord is much better than fearing man.

God’s Word reminds us in many places (just do a search on ‘fear of the Lord’) of the treasures that are waiting for us if we fear Him.  So what does fear mean?   Fearing God is all about wanting to please Him, revering Him, worshipping Him, making Him more important than anything else.  Fear or the Hebrew word yir’ah (Strongs 3374) is about having the correct attitude toward God.  It’s not slavish cowering, but respectful acknowledgment of who God is and our place as His creature. After all, He controls all things including me.   This kind of fear or respect is like how I imagine a blacksmith might treat his burning hot tools.  He knows the dangers and how close he can get to the heat.  Knowing the boundaries gives him freedom to perform his artistry and craft with confidence.

When we know who God is and understand our relationship to Him as a dependent daughter or son, infinitely loved by Him, we hold the key to a treasure trove.  So the proper yir’ah or fear of the Lord is the beginning of a rich relationship.

Everyone knows the Proverb 1:7 – The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  We cannot even begin to understand God without this mindset.  The prophet Isaiah called this attitude toward God one of the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit. If we are His, if we are born again and have the Holy Spirit in us, this is what God promised Jesus and us, His brothers and sisters……

And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him,
the Spirit of wisdom and understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and might,
the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.
And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear.  (Is 11: 2-3)

I am thankful for Caitlin.  Knowing that she is out there, holding her light up in the  midst of a dark world, talking about eternal matters with her ‘neighbors’ makes it easier for me.  God doesn’t ask for success; He asks for a willing and dependent heart.  Look what He promises us for trusting in His provision and stepping out:

The fear of the Lord leads to life and whoever has it rests satisfied.  Prov 19:23a

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