…..listen to me, the LORD. Since the day you were born, I have carried you along. I will still be the same when you are old and gray, and I will take care of you. I created you. I will carry you and always keep you safe.

 Isaiah 46:3-4 CEV

My daughter-in-law recently delivered her fourth baby, Caroline.  Seeing pictures of this sweet newborn reminds me of how very needy we humans are right from our conception.  Now out of the womb, Anne and Wes are having to provide everything this little girl needs and desires.  But we can predict that by the time she turns 2, she’ll start to want to do things on her own, in her own way. And so it goes, this drive for self-sufficiency.

I’ve mentioned before that I struggle with feeling like ‘I am NOT enough’. Why is this a struggle? Why don’t I just accept reality as it is? Simply put, it’s because I have long assumed that I SHOULD feel sufficient. But if God’s word is true, then there is never a time when I don’t need carrying.  No matter how vital and accomplished we might think we are, we continue to be needy.  We must simply be blind to our God-ordained ‘handicap’, which is so evident from our birth.

What a waste, all those years of suppressing the fears that I didn’t have what it takes to be a ‘good X’.  (Fill in the blank) Which human being has not judged him or herself:

  • To not be cute, thin, athletic, talented, strong, educated, credentialed or smart……enough?
  • Or equipped enough to parent, to do the work assigned, to make and sustain healthy relationships with friends, family and/or a marriage partner.

I have often felt insufficient to meet the expectations of others and society.  But why even lament that lack, if God has designed us to BE needy. 

Why indeed.  It feels much freer to admit my helplessness, not in a ‘so why bother’ way, but in a ‘I need Jesus every moment’ way.

A friend of mine recently wrote a blog post about a dad’s lament of having ‘blown it’ with his daughter. Out of a posture of humble regret, he reflected on how he will keep praying for God’s help to curb his tongue and emotions next time. But that what encourages him in this relationship that breaks down at times is that he has already been glorified (past tense) by God.  Future perfect relationships one day ARE guaranteed.

So, too, I am hopeful that one day I will live in a world that has been perfected.  I, along with all of God’s redeemed, and creation will be beautifully restored to even better than Eden. I will finally be ‘enough’, with no more fear of blowing it with people or situations.