Talking to God

September 5, 2025

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Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8 NIV

As I write, we’re passing over Des Moines en route to Seattle for Mike’s 50th high school reunion.  Shortly after sunup, after feeding the cats their breakfast, I slipped out into the cool misty September morning to walk and pray and off load my travel anxiety.  After a few minutes taking in beauty, physical sensations and sounds, I turned inward, thinking I should start praising God.

I surprised myself as I just began chatting to God, not using any structured prayer or format. “Wait a minute. I have a Father. I don’t have to follow a script. I can just talk to Him as I would to my own dad. After all, wouldn’t I find it weird if Wes or Graham were to initiate each conversation with me, their mom, praising me for my attributes? 

For sure, for what I value most with my sons is when they share their hopes, their worries, their dreams, and what makes them laugh. I love their jokes. Simply put, I want them to be real, to be themselves around me. I love spending time with them.

So while taking in the beauty of the early morning, I began simply to talk to my Father about what was on my mind. It felt natural and free flowing. Occasionally, I spontaneously broke into praise. My mind then moved towards friends and family who needed Divine help. Intermittently chattering tree frogs captured my attention and made me smile. I simply enjoyed being present with God in His creation.

Pumping my legs, relishing the fresh beauty, savoring the freedom to be transparently real with God made for a relaxing start of a long travel day.  Sure there is a place for using Scripture to pray in a more organized manner, but I imagine the Lord smiles when we just want to be close to Him.

How to practice a Psalm

August 29, 2025

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But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. Psalm 5: 11 NLT

For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:12 ESV

We’re back from the Italy trip and feeling so grateful for God’s good care each day and night. Leading up to our departure, I had to fight against using my imagination to project: What if there are problems and they dampen the trip!  

This morning while reading these two verses from Psalm 5, I saw what I should have done, how I should have prayed and what the Lord actually did despite my failures.

Headed into the trip I gave into Satan-inspired fears more often than I want to admit. I should have fought against those ‘voices’ with vigor, by copying the psalmist: But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. 

Had I continually affirmed the goodness of God in providing me a refuge against Satan, I would have felt secure and been able to sing God’s praises with gladness of heart. 

Once IN God’s shelter, resting in His safe covering, I could have then more easily followed King David’s example as he asked the Lord through prayer: Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy.

For example, traveling to Italy via an overnight stop in Zürich where we rented a car, I could have prayed this verse and felt assured that God would protect us and the car.  Without a doubt Mike and I LOVE God’s name.

(Note to Self: Could asking someone if they love God’s name be a useful way to open up a Gospel conversation?)

I would have saved myself a lot of pre-trip anxiety had I soaked in the comfort of verse 12: For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

As I mentioned, despite exercising a fear-perforated confidence in God, He graciously DID cover us with favor.

We DID rejoice with relief upon turning in the rental car in Zürich with no scratches or dents. With both of us shooting up arrow prayers, Mike safely drove south over the Alps and back as well as navigated single lane Italian roads through hillside hamlets during our eleven days in Lombardy.  

And talk about God’s favor! From spectacular warm and sunny weather, to fresh Italian bread delivered to our Airbnb each morning, to awe-inspiriting vistas, to an overnight visit from Italian friends and plenty of hanging out and observing local Italian life in restaurants, grocery stores and on walks, we were the recipients of so many of God’s gifts. 

Father, You really are so good. Forgive me for doubting.

Now, considering future trips, including this next one to Seattle, may I recall HOW to count on You and reject Satan’s ‘suggestions’.

It is far better to learn to receive……

August 19, 2025

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For it was I, the LORD your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things. Psalm 81:10 NLT 

This is day four of our two-week trip to Switzerland and Italy. Reading this blog, you probably are aware that I have a problem with choosing to imagine problems instead of picturing What if it’s Wonderful? That question is not just the title of a book worth reading, but a framework I am trying to adopt. 

So far, everything about this European adventure has been over-the-top amazingly delightful.  Last night, awake for a few hours, (no, not jet lag, just something that plagues me from time to time), I put two and two together. 

I am like one of my granddaughters. For a while she has been fearing that she is not a good enough Christian, that she has to earn God’s love, that she has to do amazing things for Christ. In what sense am I similar to her?  

One line from a recent prayer written by Pastor Scotty Smith describes me: “If I maintain a daily regimen of Bible reading, Scripture memorization, and quiet times, but don’t really believe the Gospel, I am a disciplined unbeliever”.

If anything, I am disciplined in my daily practices, from time with the Lord to language practice, exercise, food prep and even this writing. But I don’t believe what Jesus actually says. Here is how I know. 

In the months leading up to our departure to Italy, I forecast all sorts of situations that might go wrong. Usually in the middle of the night, too. I would attempt to solutionize imaginary scenarios. But so far, God has stunned me by His goodness.

Planes arrived and landed on time. We managed to snag a first class upgrade on our Delta flight to Zürich for not much more money. The hotel in Zürich offered us a room at 10 am the morning we landed at half the rate of a normal night. We rented a car and safely FOUND the Airbnb in an out-of-the-way little hamlet reached by ancient narrow roads. Mike navigated 108 hairpin turns up and over the Swiss Alps after we inadvertently chose the most stressful mountain pass.  And our host, Cesary, has demonstrated inordinate, over-the-top care with fresh bread deliveries, a stocked fridge and a plant in the apartment.  I haven’t even mentioned the view of the hills from our sunny balcony.

I don’t deserve any of this, especially after I have hurt Jesus by not believing that He is good.

But that is the point, isn’t it. No one deserves grace. He keeps giving even when we don’t trust Him.  So, my dear granddaughter, I am learning as are you, that we don’t need to fear we are not ‘good enough’.  Of course we aren’t. We’re fallen, broken sinners. But forgiven and greatly loved ones. And that makes all the difference. 

So, I raise my glass of wine and give thanks to my Father who exhorts me: Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.

Grazie mille!

Resolving marital conflict, while vacationing

August 9, 2025

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So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NLT

I had to humble myself before Mike as he did with me. Today is day five of this year’ journey to northern Italy with a couple of days on either end in Zürich.  Travel stress reveals our hearts, laying bare who we really are. 

Mike daily focuses on safely maneuvering the rental car, a Czech Skoda, as we listen to Italian directions and watch the Apple Car Play map display and verify with the road signs. That plus narrow one-lane streets that squeeze past ancient stone houses. I’m trying to be ‘helpful’.  It doesn’t take much effort to picture what our conversations are like.  

This afternoon, having parked the car for the night and after some unnecessary words from me about driving, we changed clothes and hiked up to a chapel on a hill.  As the church bells pealed, informing the valley that it was 4 pm, we slid into another verbal ‘splat’.  Mike turned around and sharply asked, “Why are you acting like this?  I was actually agreeing with you! Why do you feel you have to explain things to me?”  

Stunned into silence, I couldn’t account for my words either. Suddenly, I recognized what this is: spiritual attack!  I blurted out, “Mike, Satan is trying to mess with us. God has been so good to us. He’s brought us to a beautiful place and we’re hissing at each other. Please, pray.”  He recognized what and who was behind the day’s conflicts and asked me to pray to the Lord.  I did, pleading for Jesus to restore our union with Him and each other. Then we asked each other’s forgiveness.  And it was done. Peace restored.

Our good Father called us into marriage 45 years ago because He knew we’d rub each other in many unhealthy ways. Gradually, thanks to the Holy Spirit’s oil of peace, God is sanding us down, smoothing out the sharp and rough edges. Creating something beautiful out of each of us, I pray.

God keeps working, especially on vacations.  

What’s in a name?

July 23, 2025

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The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. John 10:3–4 NLT

Do you ever wonder what name Jesus calls you? Up until Sunday, I assumed that in John’s account of the Savior’s teaching that He would just use my regular name, Maria, to call me. But then I thought about all the whimsical and loving nicknames Mike and I have for each other, our sons and our cats. 

When I met Mike and started dating him, I called him Bear.  Not very original, I know. But then he became Punky Bear, and eventually Bear Chil’. (child, without the final D). He named me Bean, Monkey Bean, and finally Monkey Blossom. Now we refer to ourselves as Bean and Bear. Naming someone denotes love, connection and intimacy. 

I’ll spare you the extra names we’ve bestowed on our two sons and all the cats we’ve loved over the past 45 years of marriage.

Thinking about the God-man and Good Shepherd, why would He not name the sheep under His care?  After all, Adam selected names for all the animals God brought to him.  Believers, disciples of Jesus, are more than sheep that follow Jesus. We are also His little brothers and sisters.  Family members, with whom our Lord enjoys a loving and playful relationship. 

Could He perhaps have more than one pet name for each one of us, according to our moods and our actions? However many, each name communicates His commitment to our well-being. Furthermore, just as we are individually called, we are also blessed to know His voice.  

Maybe you, as I am, are finding that the more time you spend reading God’s history, His letters as well as instructions, that is the Bible, the better you can discern His voice. For sure, I’m learning to distinguish the Lord’s words from those of the thief whose name is Satan. As we learn from Scripture, this foul spirit seeks to blame, shame, separate and destroy us. He has no love for us. And he calls us ugly names.

Wondering about what name Jesus calls me has made me think of the one and only pet name I had as a little girl. My grandmother Mimi lived with us until she died when I was 22.  And she used to call me, ‘Maria Baby Ball’.  (My middle name, Ball, comes from one of my southern ancestor’s surnames.) I cringed as an older child when she used that name. But now I see it for what it was, a sweet way to communicate delight and  closeness to her grandchild whom she loved. 

Ever-present help that brings peace

July 1, 2025

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, . . . Romans 15:13 NIV

I’m editing a book of 365 short devotionals that I composed over a four-year period.  Just now I re-read one of them and found encouragement and perspective I could retro-apply to a recent visit with family.  In my earlier devotional I wrote about my dreading an upcoming planned occasion and how Paul’s verse together with the Holy Spirit changed my outlook prior to the event.  So encouraged, I launched into a mystery hunt, expecting to learn something that would bless me.  And God came through, using His word and a changed expectation to see and receive the gifts He had planned. 

Fast forward to this month when Mike and I shared eight days with two of our grandkids. Some intense emotions and puberty girl drama occurred during their stay, eliciting all  our empathetic listening skills.

Compared to when we raised our two sons years ago, we proved better equipped to offer supportive listening with lots of hugs as well as spoken prayers for this precious Chrisitan granddaughter. She clearly was struggling with some important and deep early adolescent issues. We HAD to depend on God and He came through in a beautiful way. The Father gave Elizabeth some spiritual insights while communicating His total love for her when she doubted. We felt privileged as she confided in us which enabled us to support her with love.

A couple weeks have passed since our grandkids were here, but my empathetic skills have remained sharp. Omniscient God had already prepared me to assist my husband when he felt battered by two painful life occurrences. How did that unfold? During a sleepless night, while depending on the Holy Spirit, I received an insight prompting me to offer something to Mike out of love. In the morning, when we talked, my offer quickly dissolved and softened the blows he had received. 

Maria’s lesson?  The God of Grace is enough, both for me and for me to help others. He promises supernatural joy and peace when we trust Him. Looking for God’s spiritual gifts and listening for His voice is how I can receive exactly what I need from Him.

A true refuge against the storms

April 3, 2025

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For he (Hezekiah) trusted in the Lord of Israel….he clung to the LORD; he did not depart from following Him, but kept His commandments, which the LORD had commanded Moses. 2 Kings 18:5-6 NASB 1995

This morning I read once again in 2 Kings 18 about Sennachrib’s impending invasion and destruction of Jerusalem. I could feel the terror that King Hezekiah and his people must have felt. 

All would have been ‘toast’ for the Hebrews had it not been for their godly leader. Here was a man who took God seriously.  He put his trust in the Lord Almighty. He never let go of Him and did his best to lead the people of Judah to abide by the covenant. 

What was the result?  Verse 7 says: the Lord was with him (NIV). He never left Hezekiah’s side.

Right now we are in the fourth month of President Trump’s second term. Upheaval has either concerned, bumped or totally upset the equilibrium and peace of many worldwide.

This week I was chatting back and forth on Whatsapp with Uli, a German friend I came to know when we were both sixteen. She stayed with my family for two weeks as part of a German class exchange.  She and I communicate frequently. Uli is very engaged in world events and vocal.  Since November she has grown upset, angry and fearful because of Trump.  I understand her concerns.  But the difference between Uli and me is that although she knows a good deal about God, she does not know Him as a person. That makes all the difference. 

Thinking about my friend, I consider it possible that this shaking up is good for her and for us. It reveals what we cling to, where our true security lies. 

Back in 701 BC, Hezekiah was terrified for his people, but he never let go of God and the Lord stayed with him.  The Lord even came through supernaturally, protecting the king, the city and his people.

I pray my friend comes to know the assuring presence of the one and only omnipotent Leader. She has never been open to the Gospel, but this week I related my confidence in God with what is going on in the world.  I explained the difference between knowing about God and knowing Him. Taking God at His word, clinging to and obeying Him in the midst of crises shows our trust. Our God honors that kind of faith.

Fellowship with one another

March 23, 2025

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But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7 ESV

God really does communicate personally if I stay open to hearing Him, when my Bible is shut.  Two days ago I texted something to a family member. I thought I was communicating empathy.  She took it a different way. With clear words, she let me know that I had “rubbed her the wrong way”. That with a specific question, I had intruded in an area quite personal to her. 

She was both direct and gracious as she communicated a boundary. I immediately thanked her for promptly letting me know and apologized, promising not to bring it up again. 

Did this encounter hurt? Yes, but I’m thankful she trusts me enough to be honest. She values our friendship.

This morning, as I was reading Oswald Chambers, (23 March My Utmost for His Highest) I knew Jesus was speaking to me about this incident.  Oswald wrote to the effect that if God pinpoints something in us, highlighting a sin, He isn’t asking us to change. “He only asks you to accept the light of truth, and then He will make it right”. 

The wrong response to any criticism would be to try to justify or explain ‘it’ away.  As is with our God, so it is in our human relationships.  Had I made excuses to this dear one like, “Well, I was only trying to reach out to you….” that would not have brought the two of us back into fellowship, removing the distance. On the contrary, it could have enlarged the discomfort she felt and created a chill in our relationship. 

Agreeing with how I had hurt her was moving ‘into the light’. Just as He promised, Jesus washed away the sin and restored our fellowship. My response and her acceptance of it, removed potential compostable material for Satan to take advantage of.

Definitely worth it.

I’m a slow learner in God’s school of Holiness

April 25, 2024

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For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15 ESV

I don’t know when I started realizing that what I was learning in God’s ‘school of holiness training’ was not sticking. Naively, I assumed that once I ‘learned my lesson’ and practiced the new behavior, I could move on to something else.  At a certain age, maybe in my 40s, I began to see that Jesus was recycling past teaching points over and over. When I would mention this phenomenon to some older-in-the-faith Christians, they would flash a gentle, but knowing smile of agreement.

For example, I’d have victory over fear by God’s grace, only to fall back into imagining the future as though it were up to me and my limited resources.  How embarrassing that I could forget what had I had painfully learned not that long ago about the sin of fear.

Or, I would have been gently chastised by Jesus for boasting and talking too much about Maria, repented and relished one, maybe two victories.  Only to catch myself repeating the same self-centered behavior. 

The Holy Spirit reminded me this week of another sin pattern that I have yet kill. My sometimes-patronizing attitude with Mike.

To the woman he said, “……. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 NIV

It happened like this.  The other night, Mike started to share with me how discouraged he felt about his YouTube channel where he reads children’s classics out loud. He has a good voice for reading, is skilled at narrating, recording and editing audio books. This channel is his gift to anyone who loves to be read to. He does it without seeking compensation.

What was causing him to feel pessimistic and disheartened? The relative few views of some recent videos. 

Instead of listening quietly with love and compassion, I launched into ‘Parent Mode’, practically interrogating him on his motives for starting the channel. And how he should not only not look at his YouTube analytics, but should also go out into the community and find children or senior adults who would love to be read to.

Had he asked for my advice?

What motivated me to be so didactic instead of gentle and patient, intent only on understand his feelings?

It was Eve’s sin, that of wanting to rule over, to shape and mold her husband according to HER image of what he should be like.  I’ve done this numerous times. It is disrespectful and puts distance between us. 

I could tell that I had gone too far but I tried to cover for myself by saying, “I’m so glad we have reached the point in our marriage where we can speak the ‘truth in love’ to one another.  Afterall, I give you permission to speak into my life, too! “

You need to know that Mike NEVER treats me this way. If he thinks I am doing something wrong, he’ll tell me directly.  He won’t manipulate and hide his ulterior motives like I do.

I went on trying to soften my ‘lecture’ by adding, ‘Keep adding more content to your channel. This is a really good and worthy project.  It doesn’t matter if it only benefits a few people. It’s your gift to others, however many or few.”

Poor Mike didn’t know how to deal with the mixed messages I was sending.  

With no real resolution, we transitioned by watching a Netflix series we like while eating our supper. The evening passed without any more discussion on that topic.

That night, I couldn’t sleep.  God gave me severe leg cramps and some arthritic pain. When I sat down with him yesterday morning, he had my full attention.  It was only then that I saw my sin. And felt shame, remorse and pain for how I had hurt Mike.

What made it harder to swallow was that this is not the first time I have ‘scolded’ my husband.  This is neither loving nor honoring to him, nor to God the Father who created him nor to Jesus who died for him.

When Mike got up a while later, I immediately confessed my shameful display and asked him to forgive me.  He was so gentle and comforting to me.  I also asked him to pray for me to be the kind of wife God intends.

With each lesson repeat, I see how gracious and patient the Holy Spirit is with us.  Yes, we fail. Yes, we have to relearn lessons and practice new patterns of thinking and acting. The good news that brings me peace is this assurance, this promise:

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6 NLT

Look up to see what God is doing

January 13, 2024

Maria Anxiety, Colossians 4, Fear, Genesis 21, Hopelessness, Job 34, Joshua 5, Matthew 26, Numbers 22, Prayer, The Lord's Prayer, Watchman , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. Genesis 21:19 NIV

I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days about how short-sighted I can be.  At times very inward-focused on troubling circumstances rather than considering God. Surely you and I are the same, each with both personal situations and an orbit of people and persistent problems or crises whose details trouble, frighten or seem to multiply.

Reading about Hagar’s situation when she was abruptly shoved out of the household of the richest man in the neighborhood, I thought about how she would have processed this sudden turn of events. She tumbled from a high-status position as the mother of Abraham’s first-born son, to being an outcast whose son, now a teenager, was going to die of thirst because they had run out of water. Looking horizontally at her circumstances, there was no way out.

But God! He spoke to her, painting a picture of the reality that he had planned, a staggeringly amazing future for Ishmael. Stunned and lightened by such hope-birthing words, she lifted her head to see beyond her immediate problem. That’s when she spotted the thirst-quenching, life-giving well.

Numerous examples of similar corrected vision dot the scriptures.

  • Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD. Numbers 22:31 NIV
  • Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua 5:13 NIV

So, what is it that has you feeling hopeless?  Maybe it’s the state of the world with irreconcilable wars and conflicts, or the politics of your nation that feel futile. Or maybe the rapid decline of morality in our cultures, even in some of our churches. 

For me, I carry concern over my mother-in-law’s physical decline and lack of happy anticipation of her future with Jesus. Friends in my Bible study carry heavy burdens regarding children and grandchildren and I pray for these needs. Yet, from a horizontal vista, in many of these situations, nothing encouraging ‘appears’ to be happening.

Right after I read about Hagar’s upward shift of vision, I picked up a devotional where I read Jesus’ words to his sleepy men at the Gethsemane Garden. He commanded them to ‘Watch and pray’. Immediately, I connected what Jesus counseled with the value of looking up.

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. Matthew 26:41 NIV

I don’t think Jesus is warning his disciples about the temptation to fall asleep.  Rather because of Satan’s whispered doubts, they and we fall into discouragement, fear and anxiety.  We count the odds instead of counting on God.  But we are to be like watchmen on a castle’s ramparts looking for the help that has been promised.  And we are to pray. That is, to lay before the Savior of the world what we ‘see’ and then tell the truth of what God has done, is doing, can do and has promised to do. We can be like Job whose words in 34:32 go: ‘Show me what I do not see!’.  Then we can add, ‘Father, protect me AGAINST these temptations to doubt and worry.’

So, for the last few days, I’ve been repeating out loud several times a day ‘Watch and Pray’. I don’t want to miss what God is doing.

Apparently, the Spirit of God wants to make sure I get his message loud and clear. For, last night when I was thumbing through a book filled with liturgies for work (Every Moment Holy, Volume III, The Work of the People), I came across a margin reference to  Colossians 4:2, along with the words:

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful, (Berean Standard Bible)

Besides watching, praying and thanking God as he brings about solutions to our burdens, we are also to be alert, keeping a look out for his imminent arrival. It’s a true statement, ‘we are nearer today than we’ve ever been in history’.

So, pick up this short mantra for yourselves, Watch and pray, and fill yourself with real hope.  And pass it along to someone else whose eyes are downcast.

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