Crazy Love – thoughts from Francis Chan

September 8, 2010

Maria Disciplines, Reflections, Thinking, Wisdom , Leave a comment

Francis Chan shares a vision of what being crazy about God looks like.  Lloyd C. Douglas wrote a book in 1929 called Magnificent Obsession, loosely based on the Gospel of Matthew.  That title describes what Chan is trying to portray as the ideal Christian response to God.  Here are some kernels of thought that spoke to me.

  1. Quoting A. W. Tozer:  “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us”
  2. Regarding God’s command to ‘rejoice in the Lord always’, Chan says:  “When I am consumed by my problems, stressed out about my life, my family, my job, I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice.”
  3. Regarding control in the face of the uncertainties of life:  turning inward is one   way to respond.  Acknowledging our lack of control and reaching out for God’s help is another
  4. If we indulge in worry and stress, we are displaying arrogance.  We are declaring our tendency to forget 4 things:  -we have been forgiven/ -our lives are brief/ -we’re headed to heaven/ -in the context of God’s strength, that our problems are small indeed.
  5. The greatest good on this earth is God
  6. A piercing question:  Has your relationship with God actually changed the way you live?
  7. How God measures our lives (and what matters to Him most) – how we love
  8. If life is a river, then pursuing Christ requires swimming upstream.  If we stop swimming (i.e. stop pursuing Christ), we get pushed downstream.  We are letting our relationship with Christ deteriorate.
  9. Nothing should concern me more than my relationship with God (not my weight, not my time)

10. When I look at my relationship with God as a duty, a chore, a sacrifice, then I am getting the glory, not God.

11. We have a choice.  Either we just let life happen or we actively run toward Christ.

12. Radical concept – how about aspiring to the Median – when people commit to live at or below the median US income and give the rest for missions.

13. ******What are you doing right now that requires faith?

14. ******We are consumed by safety.  Most of our prayers are for traveling mercies.  What about praying, “God, bring me closer to you during this trip, whatever it takes.”

15. ******Battling pride – we have to seek to make our self less known and Christ more known.

16. Joy doesn’t depend on circumstances (my job, my weight, my time) or environment.  It is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God.  (which means that God must REALLY care about providing me with a way to cultivate joy, i.e. TRIALS)

17. A person who literally has to depend on God for his daily bread and all that includes stays in prayer, close to God.

18. Chan says he wrote the book because much of our talk doesn’t match our lives.  We ‘quote’:  “I can do all things through Christ…../ Trust in the Lord always….” But we try to set our lives up so everything will be fine, even if God doesn’t come through.

19. You don’t have to wait for a special calling from God to be obedient to what He commands in His word.  Jesus didn’t say, “If you love me, you will obey me when you feel called…..”

20. Chan quotes Daniel Webster:  ‘The greatest thought that has ever entered my mind is that one day I will have to stand before a holy God and give an account of my life.’(And we thought he just loved words!)

21. About churchgoers who are lukewarm – they will not be heaven.  He recalls God spitting them out of his mouth in Revelation 3.  If someone DOES have the HS, there will be fruit evident in his or her life.  His or hers will not be a lukewarm life.

22. His summary – most of us live CRAZY LIVES.  A crazy life is to live a safe life and to store up things while trying to enjoy our time on earth, yet knowing that any second God could take your life.  Better to have Crazy Love of God and let that guide you.  We should

–      Keep pursuing Christ

–      Keep the thought that we are not alone – the spiritual realm is watching us, both God’s force’s and the Enemy’s

–      Try for a whole day to be conscious of heaven

–      Remember that we have life and power in us through the Holy Spirit

–      Recall what Annie Dillard wrote – ‘the way we live out each day is the way we will live out our lives’

–      **The American Dream (i.e. build a bigger barn story from Luke 12) fuels a lukewarm life.  We should not conform to that pattern.

Chew well, fellow travelers, and may we burn brighter for Christ. May it never be said that we were lukewarm.

Functional Idols – what/who I love more than God

August 30, 2010

Maria Thinking , , Leave a comment

Okay, God.  I get it.  You give me insight and you expect me to act on it.  If I don’t, then you arrange my circumstances to reinforce your point.

I have struggled with food and body issues since I was 16.  I finally reached close to the weight I feel best at (more or less –don’t we always want to be thinner?)  I bought a scale to weigh myself every day.  If the scale showed close to my ideal, it was a good day.  In fact, my first thoughts of the day would come from what the scale showed.  And God made it very clear that this was wrong.  He gently, but persistently would ask me (the thoughts would come into my head): “Is that what is most important to you?  Your body which is temporary and is going to get old and wrinkled and break down – is that what determines how you feel about life?   What about the fact that I died for you, that I have given you eternal life, you who didn’t deserve it, you who deserve condemnation?  Do you really value your body more than what I have given you?”

And I would say, “I know you’re right – I’m to love you and worship you above all else.  But this scale has the power to determine what kind of day I’ll have.  And even though if I don’t like the number, I’ll be depressed, there’s a chance the number is on the thin side and I’ll feel REALLY good!”

But, recently, the scales have been going up and up and I seem to have no control over the number it shows or over my body.  I haven’t changed my exercise or my eating habits.  For the days when I’ve eaten more, I’ve compensated.  But now I am perplexed and have been depressed.

Yet I understand what has happened.  When I wasn’t obedient to the soft God-voice, He had to get my attention in a stronger fashion.  Repenting, I put away the scales today and asked God to give me a different way of thinking.  And He did.  I was in Zechariah this morning.  Chapter 4, verse 6 says:  Not by might, not by strength but by my spirit alone, says the Lord. And then in an email Christian quote of the day, was Paul’s reminder to Timothy (and to us) that God has not given us a spirit of fear (or condemnation) but a spirit of love, of power and of a sound mind (the Holy Spirit).

So, dear Lord, forgive me for looking to something other than You as my lodestar.  Guide me this day in how to think (and how to eat). I can’t be trusted to think correctly on my own.   I’m fallen.  And thinking right thoughts IS our chief moral duty (per Michael Novak, a Catholic theologian).  For unless we think correctly and truthfully about God, we will not act properly.

Either/ or – what we feed on

August 23, 2010

Maria Ephesians, Matthew, Philippians, Prayer , , Leave a comment

The Gospel of John: 53Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood; you have no life in you. 54Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and I will raise him up at the last day. 55For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him. 57Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me.

Are you walking dead?  You are, if you are feeding your mind with thoughts about your circumstances.  I’ve been thinking of the choice we have every moment about what to think about.  I realize that if I am dwelling on (i.e.  Worrying about, fretting over) anything, then I am not growing, but dying.  Life comes from feeding on, pondering about, marveling at the many FACTS of my life in Christ.  Here’s the catch.  It takes effort to remind myself of my riches.

What are all those spiritual blessings stored up for me in heaven?   Paul talks about them a lot. In Ephesians 1: 3 he assures us that we who are chosen by God before the foundation of the world have been blessed with EVERY spiritual blessing in Christ.   All that Christ our redeemer intended to accomplish awaits us.  That would include:

-my sins being removed and laid on Him

-perfect righteousness being credited to me because of what Jesus did

-everlasting life in a place that will be fascinating

-forever fellowship with those whom I love who are also believers

-living and working on a new earth where real peace reigns.

Why is it SO much easier to think about the stuff I have to do, or the difficult decisions that face me, or friends and family who are suffering?  Thoughts about those things come naturally.  And they drain away life.

Jesus says in John that we have life to the extent that we feed on him.  I take that to mean thinking thoughtfully and deeply and with appreciation and wonder about the facts of our faith.  Look above at verse 54 again.  The verbs are in the present tense.  As we feed, we have life.  So the life is not for later, but for right now.

Jesus gives us this very same advice in another format.  Remember what Matthew records in chapter 6, verses 31, 33?  My paraphrase is: Don’t worry/ dwell on/ fret about all the normal things of life, but SEEK first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and you’ll get the other necessities thrown in.  But look at the strength of the verb SEEK.  The Greek word is ZETEO (# 2212) and it means require, worship, will, go after, endeavor.  Those are very active words.  Compare them with how easy it is to fall into worry.  We don’t have to be taught or motivated to fret.  (Come on kids, let’s practice anxiety.  Susie – look at how much better your sister is than you.  Make an effort…)

Along with seeking God’s kingdom, we are to strive for His righteousness.  I take that to mean God’s way of living rightly.  And throughout the Bible, God calls us to believe and to rejoice.   Living God’s way, walking according to His Word has to do with right or correct thinking.  We’re talking about the arena of the mind.  We are far too casual with our thought life.  In fact, we feel entitled to think what we want.  “Who are you to tell me how and what to think?” Well, maybe I don’t have any authority of my own as a fellow human, but God does.  He is our creator.  And He commands us to rejoice.  But we cannot rejoice unless we have content.  This is why believing God and feeding on Jesus takes effort.

Don’t get me wrong, God doesn’t dismiss as unimportant our circumstances, our loved ones’ suffering.  In fact He commands us to pray about them and to cast our cares about everything on Him.  But nowhere does He call us to worry.   We are to BELIEVE, PRAY, TRUST, REJOICE, OFFER THANKS, REPENT, WAIT, REST, BE STILL.  Do you see anything at all akin to worry?

In closing, I commend a book to you by Francis Chan called Crazy Love.  What got me thinking about this was author’s realization on page 41: “When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family, and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice.  In other words, that I have a ‘right’ to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.”

Amen!

Peace, according to God’s definition

August 12, 2010

Maria Colossians, John, Peace 7 Comments

Col 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for as members of one body, you have been called to peace, and be thankful.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.

I thought I knew what peace was – (1)  Absence of conflict and/or (2) having a restored relation, being ‘right’ with someone.

I was noodling in the back of my NASB Bible in the Greek section.  It’s a cool edition – certain Hebrew and Greek words are underlined and then are keyed at the back via Strong’s method of classification. They come with extensive definitions.  I was shocked to see a substantial section given to describe a third meaning of the Greek word for peace, eirene/1515. (Name your next daughter Irene!) This major heading describes a condition of health, welfare, prosperity, bliss and every good and kindness imaginable.  Different passages are then cited and these blew my socks off!  I had thought I had God’s peace pegged.  Imagine the implications from THESE translations!

  • Luke 1:79 – Zechariah talking about his son John who will be a herald of the light that will come into the world to “..guide our feet into the way of HAPPINESS (peace, # 1515)
  • Luke 2:14 – Multitudes of angels startle the shepherds and tell them about Jesus’ birth and proclaim “….BLISS/HAPPINESS (peace, # 1515) among those with whom God is pleased.”
  • Romans 8:6 – “..but the mind set on the Spirit is life and BLISS, GOODNESS, PROSPERITY (peace, # 1515)

A whole other topic is that word life –(zoe, # 2222) It  has an expanded definition to mean – ‘a life that satisfies’  / not just plain old LIFE!

  • Ephesians 6:15 – about getting yourself dressed with God’s armor for the day, “….having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of HAPPINESS, GOODNESS, PROSPERITY, BLISS (peace, # 1515)
  • 2 Thess 3:16 – a lovely benediction – “May the Lord of BLISS, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT, (peace, # 1515) grant you BLISS, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT, GOOD THINGS IN LIFE (peace, # 1515) in every circumstance

And notes for this definition of peace go on to call the Lord of Peace, “the author and giver of blessedness”.  This reminds me of the beatitudes.  I always translate in my mind ‘blessed’ as ‘happy’ as in – Happy are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. (Matt 5: 5)

Finally, let’s consider the implications for an expanded definition of Eirene/peace by looking at what Jesus and Paul exhort us to:  if peace truly is far more than what the world describes, then it is fitting that Jesus tells us to expect HIS version of peace to be completely different.  It’s not just a removal of conflict and war or a relationship brought to health – it’s FAR more.  Jesus offers us a vision of a world beyond what we normally expect or dream about – it’s a whole system meant to satisfy and thrill us.  It is no wonder that Paul strongly recommends that we let THAT life be the standard in our lives (rule/arbitrate in decisions to be made).  He ties it up nicely with the reminder to be thankful – that is to remember and appreciate what we have been given.

These truths fly away from our hearts and minds each night while we sleep. Therefore, each morning and throughout the day we have to intentionally remind ourselves, that is preach to ourselves what awaits us.  Let us encourage one another to set our minds on this rich hope of peace, and not settle for peace and goods and standards offered by the world.  They are a cheap imitation.

What is the Gospel of God?

August 1, 2010

Maria Gospel, Mark Leave a comment

After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God.  Mark 1:14

How startling!  I usually think of Jesus’ work on the cross on our behalf as being the good news.  But here is Jesus at the start of his preaching and healing ministry talking about the good news of the Father.  This would have been the gospel taught in the Old Testament.  So what was the message or good news that those living in OT times would have heard?

Starting in Genesis we learn something about this good news of God, that…

  • God is a personal God (unlike the pagan gods of surrounding Middle Eastern tribes back then or of today: i.e. Buddha, the myriad Hindu Gods, Mother Earth, the Force of StarWars, or any pantheistic conception) God talked to Abraham personally, dined with him and even laid out a strange covenant during a ceremony that bound God to follow through with His promises…or else!   (Genesis 15 – ………So the Lord said to him, “Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon”……..)

And further on we read that …

  • God is a loving God….Deuteronomy 7:9 “Know therefore that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments.
  • God is not someone to be ignored – we have to make a decision about Him – – Joshua 24:15 “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

We also find out that…

  • God has a plan for each person:  Psalm 139:16– Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

And what is our duty?…..

  • The Gospel of God tells us that we are to love Him….Deuteronomy 6:5 – “Now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require from you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the LORD your  God with all your heart and with all your soul.

If you are like me, you might think, that sounds like just stuff I gotta do!!! And I keep failing…….

  • But listen to the best part of the news.. Isaiah 42:7 (Jesus came) to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.  Jesus provides us with the power to receive and live according to God’s good news as he opens our eyes and releases us from being bound in the darkness of our sin.

Right before Jesus starts preaching the Good News of God, ordinary people cluster around John the Baptist.  They witness the baptism of Jesus and hear an audible voice of God announcing His relationship to this Jesus.  People actually witness a voice declaring Jesus to be the pleasing Son of God.  Then Jesus, commissioned by His Father, heads off to Galilee announcing this good news.  People soon learn that what they had not been able to do in their own strength because of their sinful nature; Jesus is going to enable them to do in His strength once they repent and totally give up trusting in themselves for anything.

In sum, the good news that should make us shout for joy and wear a perpetual big grin on our faces all the time is that

  1. There is a purpose for life
  2. There is a reason why life is messed up  (an explanation for evil & suffering)
  3. Our lives have been planned for this time and location and we have a mission
  4. We are meant to have a real relationship with the personal creator & sustainer of the universe
  5. God gives us strength through the Holy Spirit to do what He calls us to do
  6. Nothing bad  that we do can separate us from the forever- love of God once we are in Christ
  7. We will live forever in a place where there is fullness of joy and pleasures every more

Dead to Sin and Remembering

July 25, 2010

Maria Disciplines, Reflections, Sin Leave a comment

In Romans 6:2, Paul says, “We who died to sin, how shall we any longer live therein?

I am a typical human.  I forget most of what I hear or read.  When I wake up in the morning, I have to remind myself of God.  I’m usually awake 2-3 minutes before I think of Him, even if my last waking thoughts were about God.  Like morning mist, He has vanished and has to be beckoned back.  But this is an improvement on my earlier life.

I used to live my life not even thinking about God.  The first time I was in church was when I was in a children’s choir in 2nd and 3rd grade.  We didn’t go to that church or any church, but my mother must have thought it was a good idea.  At the end of the year, we kids would sing at the two services, making for a long Sunday morning.  But that had nothing to do with God.  That was just choir and I even came to dread Thursday afternoon rehearsals because I wasn’t very musical.

I share this with you so you know that my early childhood was not spent in church.  I have come to God gradually, regularly attending from age 9 on, initially as a church-goer, not yet a believer.  But even when the Gospel became real to me at age 23, I still wasn’t in the habit of thinking about God all the time.  And now, at age 53, although my conscious thoughts go more often to God, I still find myself even going a couple of hours at a time without a thought of God.  That is a dangerous place to be.  It’s like being unarmed in a war zone.

If there were any verb that I would rate next in importance to BELIEVE or TRUST, it would be REMEMBER.

Psalm 78:42
They did not remember his power— the day he redeemed them from the oppressor,

Deuteronomy 7:18
But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh

Deuteronomy 15:15
Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you. That is why I give you this command today and to all Egypt.

Psalm 137:6
May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy

Psalm 106:7
When our fathers were in Egypt, they gave no thought to your miracles; they did not remember your many kindnesses, and they rebelled by the sea, the Red Sea.

There are a host of verses like this.  They tell the truth about God and about who we are.  They call us to remember God’s past provisions to us, how He has rescued us when we called out to Him.  They remind us of God’s amazing promises – our true riches.  And finally they emphasize how we are new creations, recreated in Christ with certain powers and different duties and delights.

This brings me to the fact (that daily bears repeating) that we are NOW dead to sin.  Frequently I have to remind myself that I have a new nature with Holy Spirit power actually in me to resist those things my flesh tempts me to do.  Sometimes I forget and fall back into embracing as truth, the lies that call out to me:  eating this will be pleasurable/ sharing a juicy tidbit about someone will grant me the floor and everyone will listen for a moment / bragging on myself or my kids will make me feel important and I like that feeling.

So remembering who I am (an adopted daughter), where I am (in Christ at God’s right hand ……as well as…. here on earth with the HS in me) and what privileges and power I have (more than I can ask or imagine) all help to break the spell that sin has on me.

We would pity an heiress to a fortune who has forgotten that she has access to financial blessings and privileges.  It would be silly for her to live as a beggar-woman.  We, too, are rich beyond belief.  To the extent that we remember who and whose we are, then we can be free from the power of sin over us and live the life of the spirit which Paul tells us IS life and peace.   Now that is worth remembering!

What women alone are designed to do

July 19, 2010

Maria Genesis, Women , , 1 Comment

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

A new thought on an old text came to me after spending a few days with my good friend Sue.  We both are blessed with God-fearing, kind husbands who love us very much.  But as women are wont to do, we were ‘sharing’ our thoughts (not complaining J) about our husbands.  Sue was recounting how it surprised her early in her marriage (now 50 years strong, praise God) that her husband would never THINK to offer his help in the kitchen after a big dinner party.  But, to his credit, if she asked him to do something specific, he would be happy to do so.  Sue’s assessment was that he didn’t look around unprompted and see what needed to be done and then offer to do it.

This is an old complaint we women surface to point out the surprising differences between husbands and wives.  But as I was driving home after my visit and listening to a podcast sermon, I was taken by the thought that women, and not men are wired to be helpers.  Men have a different bent.  So how fair is it for us to criticize them?

Being a helper – an ‘ezer’ as the Hebrew puts it, is a holy and exalted profession.  None other than God himself is our role model.  Here are a few other places in Scripture where ‘ezer’ is used – and they all describe God.

Ex 18:4 – and the other was named Eliezer, for he said, “My father’s God was my helper; he saved me from the sword of Pharaoh.”

Deut 33:26 – “There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty.

Ps 121: 1-2 – A song of ascents. I lift up my eyes to the hills– where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Moving on in the Hebrew, we find the word ‘neged’ meaning suitable.  It also has the sense of being in front of.  We are not meant to help from behind, but in sight of our men, facing life together with them.  Just like we keep our eyes on God, (“I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken” -Psalm 16:8), so our husbands should be able to keep their eyes on us, for help, wisdom and encouragement.

So then, if our husband is not created with an instinctual desire to help us, how is he created to function?  God says he was designed to do 3 things:

a)   to ‘radah’  and to ‘kabash’ the earth, that is to rule and have dominion

b)   to ‘abad’ it, that is to work it

c)    to ‘shamar’ it, that is to preserve, protect it and celebrate it

That is a pretty awesome responsibility and is way more than he can handle on his own.  Matt Chandler points out that man does not come to this conclusion on his own.  It is God who says that it is not good for man to be alone.  So God creates a (i.e. one) woman, out of man’s own flesh to be his perfect helper in this mission.

One final thought: We mustn’t get our noses out of joint, by not having what we think of as the primary role.  We don’t get to choose.  God is the designer, it’s His world.  We can criticize the creator, but what’s the point?  Why not embrace our God-given role, for which we are equipped.  Besides, we have the best role-model, God himself.  If He is not ashamed to be considered man’s helper, why should we?

God was faithful to answer your prayers – a report.

July 12, 2010

Maria Isaiah, Praise, Prayer , , Leave a comment

Do not fear, for I am with you:  do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Is 41:10

Last week I reported how God had opened up the door for me to present two workshops for second language teachers interested in the language acquisition method I’ve been using for 8 years: TPRS® (teaching proficiency through reading & storytelling).  I was not necessarily anxious about sharing the thinking, research and techniques.  That was to be in English and I had the power point slides and had prepared notes.  What frightened me were the two demos in French that I needed to sustain.  I was afraid that I would not be a credible poster child for using the TPRS techniques.  I often compare myself to those TPRS personalities I watch at national conferences who demonstrate the skills with great ease & success.  By nature I am an introvert who extraverts for time-certain periods.  I don’t always think of clever story possibilities, on my feet, in French!

The other details that made me nervous were the tech and logistics of the conference room set-ups.  Finally, I had no control over what the attendees would think when the founder of this methodology, Blaine Ray, did not show up and instead they had me, a mere practitioner from the field!

Well, it’s no surprise that the God of the universe who does more than we can ask or imagine took care of me.  I love Psalm 23 because of God’s promises.  ‘Goodness and mercy’ actively followed me all 5 days!

  • At one point my iPodfell out of my purse at lunch and one of the teachers picked it up.  I had a play list of French music on it I was using during breaks.
  • My mind was on other matters so I wasn’t paying close attention to the envelope containing checks/credit card info for book sales.  Another teacher tucked it out of sight when we left the conference room for lunch in the lobby.
  • The attendees at both workshops were VERY nice and encouraging.  I felt I could be myself.
  • My day 1 of the first workshop left me feeling poorly about that challenging French demo.  I spent a lot of time that night in the hotel getting coaching from Blaine and another French teacher, Donna, who presents at workshops.  The next morning when I was out walking early in the morning, I recited all the verses that I know and drew encouragement from them.  Nonetheless, I was resigned that my skill level was just not where it should be yet!   What a JOY-ful surprise at the end of that 2nd day of the Washington, DC workshop when it all came together and my French TPRS skills moved to a higher level.  I felt like I had achieved a new competency.  On top of that, the satisfaction those attendees communicated was heart-warming.  I felt that I had given them something of value over the two days.
  • God was faithful to keep me awake driving through summer afternoon traffic back down to Newport News.  That had been a prayer request because I knew I was running on less sleep than normal.
  • The next morning was the local workshop in Newport News.  I found myself ‘angsting’ as I was driving to the hotel.  It was only a 5 mile trip, but my mind started thinking, ‘What if I get into an accident and am late to set up for this workshop?’ That’s when Isaiah 41:10 came back to mind and I just affirmed out loud ALL the parts :

Lord, I WILL not fear, for you are with me.

I will NOT anxiously look at all the bad things that might happen.

You ARE strengthening me in this situation.

You ARE holding me and you will uphold me in all the possible situations over the next two days

My spirit relaxed.

  • THIS 2nd workshop went even better.  The changes that both Donna, the other French teacher, and Blaine had suggested worked very well.  I felt that I fairly showcased the techniques.  These mostly Spanish teachers got to feel what it is like to be taught a foreign language using TPRS.  Their energy built me up and I was able to give it back to them.  God enabled me to think on my feet and together we created a story about a lady who wanted to dance the tango.  The two men in the group were good sports and played the game well.
  • God revealed a surprising thought to me yesterday as I was relaxing into a very welcome nap:  Now that I have presented two regional workshops, I no longer have any grounds for thinking I can’t do TPRS well.  I am competent.  Of course I will continue to work on the many skills that go into making a good TPRS teacher.  But I have barred the door, forever, to indulging in negativity.

I CAN do all things through Him who strengthens me.  It’s okay to be a jar of clay, a cracked pot, when you have the God of the universe upholding you!  Thank you, Lord.  And thank you dear faithful friends who prayed and encouraged me.

A new test from God

July 6, 2010

Maria Ephesians, Exodus, Peace, Proverbs , , 6 Comments

Biblical Principle:

Prov 16: 9 – The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

What I say to God:

Psalm 31:3
Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

What God says to me:

Exodus 4:12

Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say!

**

I had been looking forward to Blaine Ray’s workshop next week.  He is the founder of the foreign language methodology I use (TPRS® – teaching proficiency through reading & storytelling).  When I had read in the literature that he was coming to Newport News, I had contacted him in the winter and asked him to dinner one of the nights.  I wanted my husband to meet him and for us to get to spend some time with this delightfully witty trainer of foreign language teachers.  So earlier this week I emailed Blaine to make sure the workshop was still a go for 9-10 July 2010.  He wrote back and said he had been experiencing some dizziness and hoped that it would clear up before his Virginia workshops.  I wrote that down as a prayer request.

So Friday, 2 July, I prayed for Blaine and told God that his health was not something I had control over and would He please bless Blaine so he could come to town for the workshop and our dinner.

I almost dropped the phone when later that morning he called me on my cell and told me that he would NOT be able to present at either the Washington, DC workshop (2 days) or the one here in Southeastern Virginia (2 days).  And would I present for him? Long story short – after an incredulous reaction – ME??????, I said I would pray about it and talk to my husband.  Mike was busy at first, but I was able to talk with Marilyn, my principle, through tears and tissues – (I don’t even feel I practice the techniques well!). With both her and my husband’s enthusiastic support, I actually began to feel excited about the possibility.  I called Blaine back and said I would be willing and with God’s help, would do my best, but asked, “Are you REALLY sure you want ME?” Turns out, no one else is available and the alternative would be to cancel the workshops.   So God is choosing to use a jar of clay in order to get the gloryJ

I knew right away that I would REALLY benefit from this challenge.  It had never even crossed my mind to be interested in being a trainer.  I’ve been practicing TPRS and going to conferences and workshops for 8 years, but feel far from competent. I have an occasional good day when it all comes together – student engagement and enthusiasm, an ability to be creative and think on my feet and the sense that the kids really acquired some language through a good story we developed together about something that interested them.  When they bounce out of my French class chatting about the story, I feel fantastic.  But not every day is a homerun.  Some days I fall flat on my face and there is no energy among the teens.

So, why am I telling you this?

Because I know this is a TEST from God.  Not one of those ‘gottcha – you weren’t prepared’ tests.  This testing is about whether I will CHOOSE to trust God for all the unknown details and not play the WHAT IF game, fretting and fearing.  To be honest – I’ve already spent 2 restless nights and had the beginnings of a migraine last night and I don’t even get migraines.  Here is what I have to keep handing back over to God:

  • Attendees’ reactions when it registers with them that Blaine is not presenting.
  • Will my computer, the sound system and the projector work?
  • Will I be able to fill and follow the schedule adequately from 8 to 2:30 on both days of each workshop?
  • Will catered lunch show up on time?
  • Will these language teachers be nice to me?
  • Will I be able to think on my feet and develop a story in French as we go and sustain it while demonstrating all the proper techniques?
  • When I do the workshop a 2nd time here in my hometown, what will the 2 teachers I know (one from my school) say when they see ME, their peer?
  • And what about anything else that I haven’t even thought about?
  • What has Blaine failed to tell me because he does these workshops in his sleep? (after all, he came up with this method)

Mike gently keeps pointing me back to God.  I appreciate that.  So, with God’s help, I will trust the good shepherd and not be afraid.   I will step into this new territory and buck up like Joshua when God told him basically – “Dude, haven’t I already told you to FEAR NOT!  I’m going with you; I’ll work out solutions for you as problems arise.  You are not alone.”

Pray for me – not that it goes well, though I hope it does.  But that I win the battle in the mind and keep casting these worry thoughts back on Him.  I’m looking forward to reporting back to you next week how God did more than I could ask or imagine.

Wedding Prayers Answered

June 29, 2010

Maria Ephesians, Philippians, Prayer , , 2 Comments

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…Eph 3:20

There He goes again – my Father in Heaven, doing abundantly more than I could have hoped for.  Lowering my sights,  I didn’t even ask or pray for certain things  to happen.

Just like the West Point graduation celebration in May, this wedding week was full of LOTS of situations over which I had no control….

**

  • My mother-in-law was hesitant about coming out from Seattle after I did a heavy gospel number on her in a 14-page letter.
  • If she DID come out, how would the wheel-chair service work for the 2 flights each way?
  • Beyond the normal summer traffic jams – extra congestion and highway delays were to be expected because of a sold-out annual Hampton Jazz Festival the same weekend.
  • How would Wes’ imported Bible-preaching pastor blend with the more formal AND female Episcopal associate priest who was co-officiating with him?
  • Tech challenges inherent in preparing and running a 10-minute rehearsal dinner video with photos and music faced us.
  • At the last moment I asked Mike, our older son Graham and Wes’ Uncle Steve to tell embarrassing and humorous anecdotes from Wes’ childhood as part of the program for the rehearsal dinner.
  • How would Chloe, our precious one-year old granddaughter, hold out during a long wedding evening?

**

How my heavenly Father provided…….

  • Mike’s mom DID fly out from Seattle and she and I got along well.  She even lightly teased me about word-usage in my ‘overly-salty’ attempt to explain that we are all wretches and need a savior.  Whew!  I NEVER even anticipated that we would even MENTION the letter.
  • Everyone arrived on time.
  • The airport wheelchair service for my mother-in-law was superb.  This was her first solo air journey as a widow!
  • Cousin Terry blessed me by doing ALL the admin work for the rehearsal dinner (typed place cards and sticky nametags).
  • A neighbor and a friend provided bedrooms for some of the groomsmen and their gals.
  • One of the groomsmen on the Friday, had to drive back UP to Washington DC to collect his girlfriend and then descend again to Newport News in time for the rehearsal at the church – he made it!
  • The 3 talks by Mike, Graham & Steve had me in stitches.  Graham really blessed me with anecdotes of the two of them as children.  I FELT like maybe I had actually been a good mom.  (I’ve been doubting THAT a lot as I see far more sanctified young moms raising their kids – like my daughter-in-law Shay).
  • The video and sound system worked perfectly.  The venue for the dinner was delightfully intimate.  The food and service were FAR better than I had imagined.
  • The sermon during the wedding was INCREDIBLY biblical and to the point, even explaining the godly concept of submission.  I was praying for soft hearts that would be open to the Gospel.  There were non-believers present and plenty of church-goers who don’t normally hear a true expounding of biblical principles.  Aaron Proffitt’s message was also personalized to Wes & Anne.
  • During the wedding, I thought Wes might faint. I could see him take deep breaths. He was nervous and probably had low blood sugar for lack of food.  With Anne on his left, I pictured God’s almighty and powerful hand undergirding Wes on his other side.  Aaron’s humorous comments were timely and got Wes to chuckle at just the right moments, also sustaining him.
  • The reception was incredibly fun – because Anne’s family and our family have various circles of friends in common, we caught up with lots of people we haven’t seen since our former days at both the church and my old school.
  • Chloe was a doll and did well.  Her other grandmother took her home toward the end of the evening so she could sleep.
  • I was able to talk with a cousin who is an Episcopal priest about the certainty and truth of scripture.  I now have a clearer picture of how to pray for her.
  • Cousin Terry who shared a hotel room with Mike’s mom was able to provide perspective for her aunt when she was being negative about the rehearsal dinner.
  • And miracle of miracles, my mother-in-law actually came to church with us on the Sunday, as did Mike’s brother.  I had not even planned on it, given the painful outcome of my blunt letter to her 3 weeks ago.  But God worked it out so that SHE brought it up.  The sermon was tailored to her and it was 40 minutes of solid biblical teaching and preaching on the sin of negativity.  She didn’t criticize a single aspect!
  • My husband and his brother seemed to get along better, too.  There has been a softening of my husband’s heart toward Steve and a move toward less argumentation between the two since their father died in early May.

This wedding experience has again reinforced the truth that we can count on God’s faithfulness and his word.  Paul reminds us in chapter 4 of his letter to the Philippian church,

The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I kept trusting God for each event or situation as it happened and He consistently came through.  May I REMEMBER the next time I’m tempted to be anxious about a circumstance or relationship.

Older Entries Newer Entries