What do you hope people notice about you?

November 17, 2022

Maria Gentleness, Humility, Patience, Philippians 4, Titus , , Leave a comment

Let your ________ be evident to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5 NIV

If you know your Bible well, you can easily add the missing word without checking.

Before you do pull out your phone to verify what you think Paul wrote, just play with me for a moment. What other quality might Paul have exhorted us to strive for? 

Paul COULD have said, ‘Let your…..love be evident to all’. That would make sense given that in 1 Corinthians 13 the apostle says that love is the greatest gift of the Spirit.

 Or, let your good deeds, or holiness, or Bible knowledge or wisdom. 

But no. Paul mentions ‘gentleness’. Checking synonyms, I found patience and moderation as possibilities. Paul provided more clarity in Titus 3:2, where he describes ‘gentleness’ as ‘showing humility to everyone’.

What convicted me this morning when thinking about this verse, is how I try to make some pretty shallow qualities be evident to all.  Such as my intelligence, or fitness, or even Bible knowledge.

But what I think I ACTUALLY exhibit, at times, is my selfishness.  One way this shows up is in the way I ‘naturally’ go about helping someone.  What I’m learning is that my natural response has been to provide the kind of encouragement or assistance that would help me. This means I have assumed the person is like me and shares the same needs, or receives love as I do.

Loving others takes intention and effort.  What kind of effort?  I’m realizing, again, that I have to study someone to learn what a need is and what would actually meet that need.

Just because I feel helped or loved a certain way doesn’t mean my friend processes her need the same way.

I’m a work in progress in this journey towards holiness. Progress, not perfection, is what I’m striving for.  I truly do want to be more like Jesus.

Another tool to fight fear

November 10, 2022

Maria 1 Peter 5, Fear, Psalm 112, Trusting God, Worry 2 Comments

Humble yourself……casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV

My mom used to say, “Maria, most things we worry about never come to pass!”

I know Mom believed that, yet she still struggled with fear and worry. As do I.

If we Christians look simply at the low probability of our fears coming to pass and don’t find peace in statistics, then surely with God’s presence, character and promises we will be free from anxiety. One would think. But I don’t think that is the case for most of us.

Sunday, at church Katie shared something that is helping her to let go of worry and fear. One of our pastors’ wives mentioned it in a Bible study and Katie has passed this nugget of freedom onto me.

“Worry is assuming the worst outcome.”

I have been turning that thought over and over in my mind since Katie blessed me with this definition. Notice she did not use the verb to ‘imagine’ the terrible.  To assume is a much stronger action. It’s to take as true, as real, as FACT, even.

I am beginning to notice just how often fear thoughts drop into my mind.  Maybe that’s normal for all humankind. What troubles me is the ease with which I accept those projections as true and start to worry.

After my week with Anne in El Paso, I am consciously practicing catching myself each time this happens. And I am learning to respond with:  I reject you, Fear!

These depressing visions of the future spring from my imagination. An imagination I have trained to assume the worst outcome.

But rational thinking would pause and ask:

  • What is the statistical probability that this is happen? Telling the truth helps.
  • And if ‘it’ DID come to pass, what would be the implication? Would it really be that awful? Habakkuk faced the possible reality of food scarcity and forecast his reaction in this worst-case scenario.

The Holy Spirit is helping me move toward freedom from fear IN Christ. For example, this morning, the verses below popped into my Prayermate feed.

The righteous…..they do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them. Psalm 112:6-7 NLT

I wrote this in my journal:

“When bad news comes or a major problem arises, instead of assuming the worst outcome, I choose from this day forward to assume a God-directed good outcome.”

The situation or the problem might have a harmful effect, but I am daring to opt for believing God when He says that His grace will be sufficient and that He is working ALL circumstances for long-term good for those who love God and whom He has called.

Although I am 65, it is NOT too late to change my modus operandi. For far too long I have kept myself in that waterless pit of fear that Bunyan referred to as the Castle of Giant Despair.

I’m not afraid of that mountain!

November 3, 2022

Maria Fear, Fear of the Lord, Isaiah 8, Zechariah 4 1 Comment

Then he said to me, “This is what the Lord says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.  Nothing, not even a mighty mountain, will stand in Zerubbabel’s way; it will become a level plain before him!  Zechariah 4: 6-8 NLT

What looms as an impassable mountain in your life these days?

For us, it’s been getting Mike and Steve’s mom from Seattle to Asheville.  She’ll be 94 mid-month. After a hospital stay in July, she has had to use a wheelchair to supplement her former total reliance on a walker.  When she did not bounce back after three weeks in rehab, she realized she could no longer live independently in her retirement center.

The ’mountain’ facing all of us has been her recuperation and emptying out of her apartment in preparation for her move back East, near Mike’s brother Steve and his wife. In August all that loomed large. I felt totally overwhelmed by what lay ahead. 

But now, this first week in November, the mountain has grown smaller. Steve and Mike, the brothers and Eve and I Mom’s daughters-in-law have been working out one detail after the other.  Mom has remained pretty cheery despite the emotional stress of leaving the Pacific Northwest where she has lived for over 50 years.  But downsizing with all the  letting go of possessions, some yellow with memories, has been painful.

When I read God’s words this morning, I felt the power and truth behind them. I DO trust the Lord that before too long Mom will be settled into her new surroundings, with the circumstantial mountain in distant view. 

Yet, I recognize that the Lord will bring us face to face with other seemingly insurmountable issues.  I want to hold on to the Bible’s supernatural facts to fight the fear that likely will come:

1) No power of mine will avail in difficult circumstances.

2) The Holy Spirit alone is sufficient for the situation.

3) With God, what looks like an imposing obstacle will become as gentle as a rolling green meadow.  

One of the Lord’s overall principles and promises is that we are NOT to fear scary things. Isaiah 8:13 records this truth: It is the Lord of armies whom you are to regard as holy. And He shall be your fear and He shall be your dread.

Father, help us to order our fears.

And cause us to remember that when we deal with frightening circumstances, we can be peaceful for you have said that you will be with us as we walk in those valleys filled with menacing shadows.

May I honor you as I take you at your word, trusting your goodness and power.

How I am worrying less

October 20, 2022

Maria Faith, Romans 10, Trusting God , Leave a comment

I’ve been struggling with the temptation and sin of worrying, of mulling over all my anxious thoughts. There’s a lot going on with my mother-in-law’s cross-country move. Plus, Mike and I are trying to sort out some of our financial matters with Social Security and that is daunting. But that’s no excuse for fretting!

When do any of us NOT have lots going on, producing anxiety in our hearts and minds.

Recently, the Holy Spirit brought a sobering image to mind that is helping me think twice before worrying, a practice that Jesus commands us NOT to do.

When you and I worry about anything, we are actually declaring that Jesus is NOT God, that we can’t trust him, that he is not ‘enough’ to help us in our neediness.  We also proclaim that we don’t believe the Bible and all of God’s covenant promises of supernatural wisdom, help, rescue, strength, guidance, peace. 

During the 9 days I spent with Mom in Seattle, my mind at night often scattered to various details about Mom’s move.  I would settle into bed, handing over everything to Jesus and fall asleep. But in the middle of the night, I would awake and fall into worry.

One night in my refusal to give back my worries to Jesus, I pictured him saying to me, “If you want your worries back, then pick up that mallet and the rusty stake next to it and pound it into me. If I am not worthy of your trust, then I deserve to die as an imposter.”

Ever since then, I have often gone back to this reality of what my continued preoccupation with problems means.  My desire to honor Jesus as God, as worthy of my complete confidence is growing.  He absolutely DOES merit my devotion and trust.

This morning Paul’s quote in Romans 10:11 (from Isaiah 28:16) reinforced my faith. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” (NASB)

I hear you, Lord.  Strengthen my faith in You!

Self-promoting or Christ-promoting?

October 13, 2022

Maria 1 Timothy 4, Pride, Romans 2, Self-Righteouness , , 1 Comment

But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves,……Romans 2:8 NLT

Last week, I found myself inserting a comment about my own fitness as I witnessed someone helping my mother-in-law practice standing without falling. What I said was totally unnecessary. I meant it to garner this young physical therapist’s admiration that someone my age was so fit. 

The blue letter Bible translates ‘who live for themselves’ (eritheia in Greek) this way:  self-promoting. Apparently, in the NT a courting distinction, a desire to put one’s self forward.

That’s Maria, for sure.

When the Holy Spirit pinged me the next morning, I had to ask myself this pointed question, ‘Maria, so just how do you think your physical strength is going to showcase Christ? And are you really that desperate for recognition for something about your appearance?’

I cringe now to think how presumptuous I was to imagine that a young gal would even think I look fit. From her point of view, I’m old!

Paul did say something about physical exercise.  Do you remember? He said it was of ‘a little’ use.

…..for bodily training is just slightly beneficial, but godliness is beneficial for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:8 NKJV

What will catch someone’s attention more, my toned body, or my patient, calm kindness to someone who doesn’t deserve it?  Which shows off Christ’s powerful work in me?  Yes, the latter, and 1000 times over!

Patience and kindness in the midst of provocation, a non-anxious demeanor whenever those around are flailing and panicking, these are signals of something supernatural.  This kind of person creates curiosity as in, “What’s up with you?  Don’t you realize what he just said to you? Aren’t you worried about…….?”

So….am I going to stop working out at my gym? No, of course not. I’m just praying that the Holy Spirit will cut me off before I try to self-promote again.  Whether I am boasting (modestly, of course) about fitness or my ability with languages, I want to point to Christ….not Maria.

Futile speculations

October 6, 2022

Maria Humility, Proverbs 29, Romans 1, Trusting God , 1 Comment

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is one who keeps the Law. Proverbs 29:18 NASB

I worked hard last night.  Thinking.  No wonder I woke up, already tired.

Just how did I spend hours in the night speculating about scenarios? I’m in Seattle helping my mother-in-law sort through what to discard, donate, sell and move across country. 

Since Mom is mostly wheelchair bound, I imagined her actual flight across country and the actual move in and set up in her new Senior Living apartment. I examined and lived through future scenarios as I imagined them to be.  That is, from THIS point and time stamp on the horizontal.

This morning, with my Frenchpress coffee, I listened to one of John Eldredge’s Pause meditations and immediately SAW how I had exchanged God’s gift of rest for time spent focused on the cares of this world.

I journaled my conversation:

  • ‘Jesus, I disconnected myself from you. I see now what happened, where I went wrong.
  • Did I even ask you, before turning out the light, to increase my focus on you?  No!
  • Did I pray for you to fill me with more of you, crowding out temporal thoughts? No!’

Then I wrote my plea.  ‘Tonight, Father, please!  Remind me…give me a compelling picture of you, so I can hand over my cares.’

I didn’t have to wait until tonight. Immediately, an earlier ‘vision’ or picture of Jesus’ night vigil, watching over me popped into my mind.

At times during the past several months, I have settled into sleep picturing Jesus and me sitting cozily together on a leather sofa in front of a fire crackling with warmth and light.

I tell him my cares, humbly off-loading them as Peter instructs us in 1 Peter 5:7.  He receives them and bids me good night.  I move off into the bedroom and leave the door cracked.  My situations are with him for the night.

This morning, I took that vision a step further.  I imagined Jesus reminding me before I left my warm spot next to him: ‘Remember, Maria, I will work out the details and give you instructions for these events when it is time.’  I nod and go off to bed.

Do you remember the words before that ‘Cast all your cares on Him….’ promise?  God instructs us to give him our situations by humbling ourselves.  That means, we let go of them.  We release the illusion that we know best. 

Hm. That’s hard.

The Lord brought Solomon’s God-inspired teaching to mind right after my cabin scenario. Using the various Hebrew slants of several terms, I worded Proverbs 29:18 like this:

Part A – Where there is no mental sight or dream, the people neglect, overlook (God).  They are uncovered, open to unbridled human thoughts.

Part B – But he that guards and treasures God’s instruction is HAPPY, blessed!

That truth-seeking treasure hunt down the paths of words led me to God’s reminder in Psalm 40:4  How happy (blessed) is the man who has made the Lord his trust!

With those reflections in my journal, I moved on to one of the morning’s readings in Romans 1.  God clobbered me with more reinforcement.

Romans 1:25 –  Just as non-Christians who turn their backs on God, I am guilty of exchanging the truth about the Lord for lies. 

Such as:  I have to figure this out myself!

Just four verses earlier in Romans 1:21 I read and wrote down:  When I am not thanking God and honoring him, I indulge in futile, empty speculations.

How am I to honor or celebrate God?  By surrendering my cherished worries. Those patterns of preoccupying thoughts that lead to exhaustion.

Okay, Father, I get it.

Tonight, before I turn out the light, I will ask you to strengthen my resolve to hand over everyone and everything to you. Then by your supernatural power, I will trust you and expect you to help me fill my thoughts of your ‘able-ness’, willingness and goodness.

I need God’s light!

October 2, 2022

Maria God's wisdom , , 3 Comments

Light shines in the darkness for the upright – Psalm 112: 4 NASB

Right now, all is dark regarding the ‘Mom Move’. Our almost-94-year-old mom lives in Seattle. Due to her hospitalization in July, she no longer can live independently. The plan is for her to settle in a care facility near Steve and Eve who are moving to Asheville, NC. However, their new construction occupancy permit date keeps being delayed. These constantly changing details about their relocation are making Mom’s transfer to the East Coast appear logistically complicated and huge, a veritable mountain.

We need wisdom, clarity, a plan.  Darkness surrounds us. What does darkness represent?  Confusion, fear, unknowns, questions, blockage, and ignorance about the way to move forward. We need God’s light!

For You are my lamp, LORD; and the LORD illuminates my darkness. 2 Samuel 22: 29 NASB

Whew!  What good news that we actually have access to a source of light in our darkness.  Actually, there is no better light.  We fool ourselves when we think we can furnish our own wisdom. As creatures and living on the horizontal, we see ‘dimly’ as Paul mentions. We focus on human options, common sense.

By design, on purpose, God limits what we can know and understand.  His plan is for us to depend on him.  As the source of all that exists, seen and unseen, he holds all resources, including the supernatural. He will reveal them when the time is right.

When His lamp shone over my head, by His light I walked through darkness. Job 29: 3 NASB

Job experienced a long period of darkness.  I can imagine his depression, sadness and fear. Nothing good to look forward to on earth as he cast his mind forward. No light to reveal his actual past faithfulness to God, vindicating his character. Nothing but nothingness.  But then God’s light broke through his gloom, bringing hope and life and something new.

He reveals mysteries from the darkness, and brings the deep darkness into light. Job 12:22 NASB

Boy, do we need to see God’s plan for Mom’s move, up to now still a ‘mystery’ to us.  What a relief that he promises to bring our dark path into the light. 

…..for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move…..Matthew 17:20 NASB

Okay, Lord, I’m taking you at your word.  You promised your followers that if they trust you, if they believed what you said, they could declare that the mountain be moved. Therefore, we, Mom’s kids and spouses, also exercise our right as your adopted children.  We say: “Father, move Mom to Asheville!”

I know she WILL get moved.  I feel reassured.  I don’t know just how or when the Father will unfold his plan.  But that he will provide the path and the energy, I don’t doubt.  Today, that is enough for me to enjoy his gift of supernatural peace.

My favorite word about resting in his promise is this: 

…..(the one) who keeps faith….you keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts you. Isaiah 26: 2-3 ESV

How being like a clingy toddler is good

September 29, 2022

Maria Matthew 18 , Leave a comment

He (Jesus) called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-3 NIV

One summer day when I treated Graham and his little brother to a day at Water Country in Williamsburg, Virginia, Wes got lost.  This experience scarred him for about four years. I had put Graham in charge of his younger brother when they went into the men’s locker room to change.

Seeing Graham coming out alone, I said, “Where’s Wes?” He turned around puzzled then responded, “I thought he was following me.” I quickly sent Graham back. I wasn’t prepared for what he discovered.  This changing facility had TWO entry points.  We figured that Wesleigh must have gone out the other door, which meant that Graham didn’t pay much attention to his brother like I had instructed. Being only five years old, I often placed young Wes under the supposed ‘watchful eye’ of Graham who was ten.

With this news that Wes was nowhere to be found, I panicked, prayed and ran around shouting his name. Even with a security guard helping me it took about fifteen minutes before I spotted my youngest.  He was walking toward me as though coming from the ticket takers. “Wes!!!! Where have you been?” 

This little kid had gone out to the parking lot thinking we had left him alone. I felt horrified just imagining him among the hundreds of cars.

Hugging him tightly, I rejoiced in God’s goodness.  What I didn’t anticipate was the emotional impact this event had on Wes.  He had experienced it as trauma.  For the next few years, each time I dropped him off at school in the morning, he would seek hearty assurance that I would indeed return.  Now a nervous child and fearful of being abandoned, he would press me for an exact time I’d swing by to pick him up.  The waterpark experience had transformed him into a very clingy child.

The other day, pondering Jesus’ words about being as a LITTLE child, I thought of that long-ago experience.  I imagined a three-year old clinging to his daddy’s leg, not wanting to let him leave.  Don’t little ones feel safe when they are in the presence of their parents?  They don’t want to let them out of their sight.

Jesus is teaching us to be like the toddler who needs that constant reassurance. Physical nearness represents safety.

Of course, we want our children to grow up and develop independence.  But what if Jesus doesn’t mean for us to outgrow our need to be that kind of close to him? What if he prefers that we remain children who crave his constant company?

May we retain the best of being a child and stay glued to our savior and older brother.

Running away from safety

September 22, 2022

Maria Luke 10, Psalm 52, Worry , , , , , 1 Comment

(Jesus replied) One thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. Luke 10:42 ESV

Young Will sat up front and kept himself looking alert in 6th-grade French class. He didn’t act up, goof off, or engage in any typical middle school boy behavior. Only problem was, he seemed to have a sieve where his brain should be. After two months trying different remedies to help him with French, I decided to ask him outright why he thought he wasn’t making progress.

His forthrightness stunned me.  “It’s like this, Madame Cochrane, my mom only allows me two hours a week to play Fortnite (a video game). So, if I want to maximize my two-hours play time on Saturdays, I must spend the week strategizing and planning my time.

Will had mastered the art of appearing to pay attention, with full eyes on me and the board, all the while living somewhere else in his mind.

I think we can all relate to that. Last Sunday in church while singing a hymn, I time-traveled days ahead to when I fly out to Seattle to prepare Mom for a move back East. When I ‘came to’, I pictured reaching forward and pulling Maria back to the ‘here and now’ of standing and singing.

Although actively participating in the singing, my appearance hid a distracted mind.

In our Luke passage, I picture sisters Mary and Martha. Yes, we notice how kitchen tasks absorbed Martha’s attention, causing her to fret.  But even had she put meal prep aside in order to sit down near Jesus, as her sister, would she have been present, attentive to his teaching?

Why is this so hard for us? Many reasons come to mind, but the primary one is that we have an enemy whose goal is to distract us away from Jesus. Our identity which we often attach to our doing as well as the beckoning of the world both fight to be most important to us.

God be praised that he doesn’t leave us alone with our distractions! I thank him for keeping after me. Recently, he has tapped into my power to visualize other ways of living, of being present with him.

I love how God packs the Bible with vivid imagery.

But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the faithfulness of God forever and ever. Psalm 52:8 (NASB)

When I read the above verse, I let my mind wander, pondering what a tree needs to flourish. Nutrient-rich soil, cool water, and sunshine came to mind. How clearly these requirements apply to me. For me to grow and produce fruit for others, I have to stay connected to Jesus. Abiding in the vine, following the Good Shepherd, seeking the Kingdom are all metaphors for being present with God.

Picture our green olive tree.  Let’s suppose she’s afraid of what might happen in the future. Can’t you just see her pulling herself up and away from where she is planted?  There she goes, out the door into the dry sandy wilderness of ‘futurizing’, trailing her roots behind her.  How long is her strength going to last? In a short time, away from where she constantly received the light and water she needed, she starts to weaken.  Her branches become dry and wither.  If she doesn’t come to her senses, she will die, away from her One Source.

Friends, that is us, when we don’t stay put, when we don’t grip our Savior’s hand firmly. Jesus is HERE in the present. Outside of each successive eternal now-moment, is nothing but sinking sand. Why do we tend to run ahead into these frightening, lonely places?  I don’t know.

But one thing I DO know…and it’s this.  I want to stay put, to hold on and live this gift of another heartbeat, another breath standing on my Rock where ALL of God’s goodness is.

Do you ever feel ‘blah’ or get bored?

September 15, 2022

Maria God's Infinity , , 2 Comments

I proclaim to you new things from this time, Hidden things which you have not known. Isaiah 48:6 NASB

Hey, I found a new app on my iPhone that you might like.

I can’t wait to get that new car!

What’s new with you these days? 

I’m just sick of ‘same-ole, same-ole’.  I wish I had something new and exciting to look forward to.

How we all long for new and improved. Who among us has not wanted to believe the copy about some product that will make a difference in our lives?

When I taught French, I loved going to workshops to learn something NEW.  I always traveled to the training with the hope that I’d come home with a fresh and different way to help students acquire French.  I usually did.

From time to time, seminars on how the brain learns best equipped me with tools to engage my students.  One principle, oft repeated, emphasized how the brain craves novelty.  Anything unprecedent or out of the ordinary will stimulate the brain, will wake it up and push it out of its ‘business as usual’ mode.

The last couple of weeks God’s promises of ‘new things’ have captivated my heart, the seat of our imagination.  Two days ago, as I meditated on the Isaiah proclamation above, I cross referenced it to discover other contexts. For example, Paul quotes Isaiah’s prophesy proclaiming God’s plans to bring about what would never even enter our minds, things never before seen or heard.

So, what are some of these new things God has planned? A rapid scan produced these some verse fragments:

Job 29:20 – My glory is ever new with me

Is 42:9 – Now, I declare new things before they sprout

Is 43:19 – I am going to do something new

Is 48:6 – I proclaim to you new things

Is 62:2 – a new name

Is 65:17 new heavens and a new earth

I haven’t even mentioned the new covenant, our new hearts, new mercies, the good NEWs…….

Finally, consider how often the psalmists talk about singing a new song. Why would a new song be needed, if there were not unprecedented and wonderful praise-worthy acts of God?

Marinading in this image of the ‘new’ has brought front and center a startling realization. If we crave the new, if we long for fresh and are drawn to ‘new and improved’, then could it be that God wired us to actually desire ‘new’ and not be satisfied with ‘business as usual’? 

This possibility really excites me.  If God made us to crave ‘different’, then that means he intends to satisfy that need.  Doesn’t he do that with all our needs?

So, how has this ‘news’, this revelation changed my life?

Simply, that every day, throughout the day I keep saying, ‘New things!  New things!’ and I have my eyes up looking around and my ears open to hear, to see, to recognize what is new.

Friends, this is who our God, our heavenly Father is, the creator of all things new.  He himself must love planning and carrying out what will surprise his image-bearers. Since God is infinite, then his projects will never cease to astound and delight us.

We don’t have to wait for the new heavens and new earth to experience God’s NEW in our lives.  New is occurring all around us if we have eyes to see.

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