Can you be in the will of God and still suffer?

December 20, 2025

Maria 1 Corinthians 4, Answers to Prayer, Decision-making, God's will, Prayer, Psalm 23, suffering , , , , , Leave a comment

Even now we go hungry and thirsty, and we don’t have enough clothes to keep warm. We are often beaten and have no home.
1 Corinthians 4:11 (NLT)

When we decided to move from southeastern Virginia to the mountains of western North Carolina, we prayed all year long. I had read a book by Kevin DeYoung entitled Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will. His approach helped shape our prayers.

We would speak each night out loud to our Shepherd in prayer, sometimes even physically raising up open hands to symbolize that we trusted Him to open or shut doors. For us, that posture meant that we were willing for Him to redirect us. 

God responded by selling our house in Virginia, locating a mountain cabin on ten acres, and providing me with a French teaching job in Asheville. All in five months and coinciding with Mike’s retirement from federal service. 

With such a green light, we packed up in June 2013, loaded our two cats, and convoyed down to our new life in the mountains. Our plan – Mike would work from home as a subcontractor while I commuted to my school to teach French. 

Naively, we assumed that being in God’s will would preclude major hardships.

Recently I was reminded of that “adventure” and our assumptions while reading the novel Return to Me by Lynn Austin.

Austin takes biblical facts from the first six chapters of Ezra and provides backstory, bringing to life the struggle of the first group of returnees from Babylon. They journey back to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple. I’ve almost finished the book, which spans almost 23 years. I’m seeing how our God takes the long view. He is in no hurry to have His good plans and purposes accomplished.

Clearly, these families journeyed under the will of God, since Cyrus, king of Persia, issued a proclamation fulfilling the prophecy of Jeremiah. The Persian ruler even goes so far as to supply the returnees with the gold and silver utensils and cups stolen from the Jewish temple.

But almost as soon as the returnees begin their work, they meet with resistance and violence. Life becomes stressful and terribly hard. Eventually, they are forced to stop their labor.

The reality is that, just like Paul and the early Christians, living according to His plans does not preclude suffering.

Our own personal ordeals since then have changed my perspective. Life is challenging in a world broken by sin and influenced by Satan. But God’s response is His promised presence:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4 (ESV)

So, what happened to us in North Carolina? We left after almost six years to move to Huntsville, Alabama. The different adversities and hardships were worth it, though. I came to know Jesus at a deeper level. Our trust in Him grew. And we are both very content living here.

I pray each day that I trust my Savior, who daily leads me in paths of ease?
No—in paths of righteousness for His purposes.

How we talk to ourselves matters

November 15, 2025

Maria Belief, Fear, God's faithfulness, Prayer, Psalm 107, Psalm 126, Unbelief , , , , , Leave a comment

“The Lord has done great things for me, and I am glad.”
 Ps. 126:3 — my paraphrase

So many of my friends are journeying through difficult times. Some face cancer scares, others lament and then pray with hope for prodigals, and a few have lost jobs.

Last week, I celebrated the Lord’s goodness to me as He led me into the light, having birthed a book, Feed on Him: 365 Daily Devotions to Make God’s Word Yours with His help. One practical anchor that kept me from allowing myself to be overcome by difficulties was the phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is . . . .”

We all move through our days with an invisible but steady inner monologue. For far too long, mine has been more negative than positive—even as a follower of Jesus. Though, you wouldn’t notice that about me, for I project “cheery and animated” when I interact with others.

But I have decided to try to change my thought patterns. Since the beginning of November—two weeks now—I have invested time most mornings in writing down personalized versions of Scripture to remind me just how much God loves me. The idea is that if I “marinate”—as Scotty Smith writes—in His eternal agape love for me, that can rewire my heart and my body. Yes, I’m brainwashing myself with God’s truth.

Anyone can turn Scripture into a personal confession, praying it back to the Lord. Today I have in mind the grown daughter of a sweet friend of mine. This young mom and other family members are waiting for the results of a biopsy, knowing that a positive result would be serious.

Using Psalm 126:3 as a prompt to announce God’s goodness, I’ve customized some of Psalm 107, announcing God’s Word as having already happened. I had written it for myself after the book project. Stressing over it had caused my body to exhibit some very distracting physical side effects.

Vs. 1 I give thanks to You, O Lord, for You are good; Your steadfast love for me lasts forever.
Vs. 2 I, redeemed by Your love, do say so, for You have redeemed me from many past troubles.
Vs. 5–6 When my soul was fainting from fear within me and I cried out to You, Lord, You delivered me from my distress.
Vs. 7 And You led me by a straight way.
Vs. 8 I thank You for Your unfailing love for me.
Vs. 14 You brought me out of the darkness of my own despair. You burst my bonds.
Vs. 15 I do thank You for Your steadfast love that never changes.
Vs. 19 When I cried to You in my trouble, You delivered me from my distress.
Vs. 20 You sent out Your Word and healed me.

We’re not blind to circumstances, but our God is more powerful than any created detail. As the prophet proclaimed:

“Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed.”
 Jeremiah 17:14 NIV

The peril of an empty mind

October 24, 2025

Maria demons, Ecclesiastes 6, Fear, Forgiveness, Glorifying God, God's Attributes, God's creation, Matthew 12, Praise, Prayer, Worries , , , , , , Leave a comment

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person it . . . says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order.  Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there . . .” Matthew 12: 43—45 NIV

Some friends have graciously lent us their beach condo for a few days. The vast unobstructed view of the gulf waters right off the balcony should bring me peace.  But I have not let God’s beauty quiet my soul.  

My anxious thoughts and fears about “the book”, this first venture into writing and self-publishing, have plagued me. I have not been able to shutter my mind at night.  

Yes, I practice “giving everyone and everything” to Jesus as I settle into a relaxed position in bed. I breathe in deeply through my nose and release ever so slowly through my mouth, hoping that my body will relax and cause my mental state to match the slow breathing. 

But none of that worked.  For two nights during the early hours of the morning I conjured up possible issues with the cover design and uploading procedures, keeping myself both afraid and awake!

Yesterday morning, the Holy Spirit brought Jesus’ caution to mind. Simply clearing my mind and handing over issues to God is not enough.  When I mentioned to Mike the Lord’s example of the temporarily demon-free house, he reminded me of Paul’s suggestion of what to meditate on once you hand over your anxious thoughts.  It is not safe to maintain an empty mind.  

Whether it was Aristotle or the French philosophe Rabelais who originated the adage, “Nature abhors a vacuum,” it still holds true.

So, yesterday after lunch, as we walked around Fort Morgan and on the beach, I revived my “alphabet” practice of filling my mind with whatever is true, excellent and praiseworthy about God. 

I began with the letter A. Using English and several other languages, I prayed and praised the Lord for anything that began with A. For example:  “You are ALMIGHTY, ACCESSIBLE, ABLE, and ALWAYS faithful. Consistently You are A mi lado, ALREDADOR de mi, AVANT tout temps.” 

Then I moved onto B. “You are the BREAD of Life, das BROT des Lebens, BESIDE me.  You predestined me BEFORE time.

You get the idea.  If I thought of an attribute or event whose first letter I had already taken up, I simply slipped it into my praises.  During our two-hour walk, I think I got up to the Gs.  What mattered is that I did not allow my worry-free mind, the “house” in Jesus’ teaching, to stay vacant. 

Reviving that protocol definitely kept my anxious thoughts at bay. And I slept well last night. Thank you, Jesus!

This morning, I arose early to spend some time in prayer before we packed up to drive home. I’m reading through Ecclesiastes at the moment. Using the chapters assigned for the day, the Spirit nudged with a picture of how I had acted the previous two days. I am one to whom the Lord has given riches, such as these days on the Gulf, where sky and water kiss and the sun spectacularly splashes the horizon with heavenly hues. 

. . . his soul is not satisfied with life’s good things. . . Ecclesiastes 6:3 ESV

I confessed my sin, received God’s forgiveness and prayed to remember to enjoy each moment.

Talking to God

September 5, 2025

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Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8 NIV

As I write, we’re passing over Des Moines en route to Seattle for Mike’s 50th high school reunion.  Shortly after sunup, after feeding the cats their breakfast, I slipped out into the cool misty September morning to walk and pray and off load my travel anxiety.  After a few minutes taking in beauty, physical sensations and sounds, I turned inward, thinking I should start praising God.

I surprised myself as I just began chatting to God, not using any structured prayer or format. “Wait a minute. I have a Father. I don’t have to follow a script. I can just talk to Him as I would to my own dad. After all, wouldn’t I find it weird if Wes or Graham were to initiate each conversation with me, their mom, praising me for my attributes? 

For sure, for what I value most with my sons is when they share their hopes, their worries, their dreams, and what makes them laugh. I love their jokes. Simply put, I want them to be real, to be themselves around me. I love spending time with them.

So while taking in the beauty of the early morning, I began simply to talk to my Father about what was on my mind. It felt natural and free flowing. Occasionally, I spontaneously broke into praise. My mind then moved towards friends and family who needed Divine help. Intermittently chattering tree frogs captured my attention and made me smile. I simply enjoyed being present with God in His creation.

Pumping my legs, relishing the fresh beauty, savoring the freedom to be transparently real with God made for a relaxing start of a long travel day.  Sure there is a place for using Scripture to pray in a more organized manner, but I imagine the Lord smiles when we just want to be close to Him.

Forgetting we are but little kids is dangerous

August 16, 2025

Maria Abiding, Dependence, Matthew 18, Prayer, Spiritual Warfare , Leave a comment

Then he (Jesus) said: I promise you this. If you don’t change and become like a child….Matthew 18:3 NASB

We stopped acting childlike, having grown comfortable in the routines of daily life vacationing in Italy. Today is a national holiday and everyone celebrates by eating out with family and friends. It dawned on me this morning that we should have booked a table for lunch somewhere, so we cast ourselves on Jesus and asked for help. I texted a local restaurant we had tried last Sunday. By grace they worked it out so we could enjoy a special four-course lunch in honor of ‘Feragosto’ and the ‘Assumption of  Mary’. We prayed for safety on the drive down the mountain and back up.  The Lord was gracious. Watching the ‘theater’ of Italian families laughing, chatting and savoring the cuisine entertained us.

After changing into workout clothes, we hopped in the car again, to walk along the river down in the valley. We cheerfully set off down the narrow lanes with blind hairpin turns, content and confident that we were getting the hang of these Italian roads. 

That’s when the trouble started. ‘Mr. Italian GPS’ routed us wrong. Harsh words emerged from my frustrated driving husband   and we ‘almost’ succumbed to disharmony among us. God be praised that we recognized our error.  We had forgotten that we are but little children who need our Daddy. We had not asked for His help. Obviously we didn’t think we needed Him. 

I’m so glad the Father brought us up short right away.  We immediately confessed our false independence and ran back to Him, asking for protection and help.  The enemy tried once more after the walk to mess with us in the car. This quirky rental car does the strangest things. Recognizing another probe from the enemy, we rebuked him and clung to Jesus.

Pray as David teaches us

April 9, 2025

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In times of trouble, may the LORD answer your cry. May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm. May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers. Psalm 20: 1, 4-5 NLT

We read this in church last Sunday.  Later that afternoon, I read Psalm 20. What a powerful encouragement to any believer. This psalm also offers me a model for when I petition the Father on behalf of all our leaders, both within the Church and in society.

Using this prayer song, the people of Israel make several requests to God on behalf of their beloved king, David. The people are pleading for what is best for the public good.  David, the warrior king who loves God, wrote this psalm for his people. With it, he actually instructs the people to pray for him in ways that glorify God.

All of a sudden my thoughts flitted forward in time to the Bathsheba and Uriah tragedy.  With that chapter of David’s life in mind, I don’t believe David is unaware of his potential to sin. Certainly he doesn’t want the people to ask God to grant every desire that he might entertain.  But what they are to ask for, is that their king would do all in the name of God, to include defeating their common enemy.         

I, too, want and pray to the Father for Him to defeat His and our enemy, Satan, and all whom he manipulates. For sure,  an enemy of the Lord is my enemy. When I pray for God to be victorious, when I think about our leaders who shepherd the Church and ask for their protection, I want King Jesus to deliver us and the Kingdom from evil. It’s what I most desire.

So, Father, grant this deep desire of mine and alert me to when I crave or long for something that doesn’t glorify You. Without Your protection from Satan’s temptations, I can easily fall into doing something evil, without much thought.

Help for a worry addict

November 8, 2024

Maria Meditation, Philippians 4, Prayer, Renewing, Sin, Thoughts, Trusting God , , , , , , 2 Comments

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

I’ve resolved to attack this sin of worry any way I can!

That is not a new decision, but one that dates decades back to when I became a Christian in my early twenties. Sadly, as motivated as I can be, I have easily slipped back into that well-worn groove of pondering and stewing over current situations and feeling bad.  Yes, despite having ‘given them over’ to Jesus.

You see, I simply forget that I am cutting a new path through the wilderness, this jungle of my thought life.

To help me, I realized yesterday that I should PRAY early in the day, asking the Holy Spirit to help me remember my true desire.

This morning, he brought a device to mind, a resource that  might just be what I can use to not forget my resolve to kill this sin.   

In his letter to the Philippians, who apparently were believers prone to worry like me, Paul offered a path for our thoughts after we have handed over to Jesus what weighs us down. It’s a verse I memorized some years back.

I excitedly turned to Philippians 4:8 thinking that just maybe there were seven topics offered on which I could focus my thoughts in lieu of stewing.  That would be cool if there were seven, the number of ‘completion’, allowing me continuously to cycle through one a day.

But there are eight. 

I googled, ‘significance of the number eight in the Bible’. And voilà, up popped this gem of an article spelling out the wonder of eight.

It turns out that eight communicates ‘a new beginning, order or creation’.  How cool is that!  The author relates at least 10 different places in the Bible where 8 is meaningful.  Mentioning just one of the early ones, eight people on the arc were saved out of the flood.  You should read the rest of examples in Scripture.  As a teaser, David was Jesse’s eighth and last son.

Do you remember how Paul exhorts us to be changed completely by renovating our minds, by changing our thought patterns?   The Bible declares that we are new creations. But just as we are considered forensically or legally righteous in Jesus since believers are covered by his blood, we still have to grow into what we are in practice.

Today, waiting in my physical therapist’s office for my time slot, I shunned my phone, choosing instead to use today’s Word, “true” and meditate.  I started to think through all that I knew to be true. I had time for about 15 facts before Phil called me back. Such truths as:

  • I have a Father
  • He created me on purpose
  • I have worth in his sight
  • He is sovereign over every detail of my life
  • He IS handling my needs and my requests

Not only do I need a daily focus, if I’m to direct my thoughts away from what I have handed over to the Lord, I want also to use the daily meditation focus as a way to sift my thoughts.

Here is how I see this filtering tool. From early this morning, I was armed and ready to clobber any thought threatening to sink me with the help of my shield. Before I let a potentially enemy though get close to me I was ready with a probe: Is that thought TRUE? 

I pray I can get practiced at remembering and challenging myself as I protect my new path of God-honoring thoughts. If you think of me or run into me in person, please feel free to ask me what my pondering focus for the day is.  Or call me out on a comment I make that dishonors, condemns, or isn’t true, lovely, right or praiseworthy.   

Do you feel courageous in your daily life?

August 6, 2024

Maria 2 Corinthians 5, Confidence, courage, Prayer, Trusting God, Uncategorized , , Leave a comment

Therefore, being always of good courage….2 Corinthians 5:6 NASB

Reading this affirmation from Paul, I had an inkling that another meaning for the Greek term might be cheerful.  Sure enough, ‘tharreo’ also signifies:  being of good cheer, being hopeful, bold, and confident.

When I think of courage, I think of a physical feeling surging up.  But I can’t identify with that.  However, I can imagine being cheerfully light-hearted because of God. 

What I know of him from the Bible, the perpetual non-ending nature of all his attributes, fills me with confidence in God and true hope for the future.

Thinking of cheery people, I picture someone not preoccupied with himself, freed from the smallness of self-focus. 

Only by meditating on Jesus as my older brother, on the Holy Spirit as my helper and on the warm welcome of the Father can my face broadcast a relaxed smile. 

Of course, the personal Almighty will take care of all my concerns, especially those heavy and ‘No Exit’ (think Sartre) burdens people dear to me carry.

Turning ‘events’ into adventures

July 11, 2024

Maria Fear, Humility, John 17, Knowing Jesus, Prayer, Service , , , 4 Comments

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy, and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Stanza 3, William Cowper, Light Shining out of Darkness

All week long, with intentionality, I have fought back old patterns of imagining the worst. Daily I have sought a different truth with which to fight fear. 

Anne had pointed me to Cowper’s poem more than 2 years ago when I was worried about what another family member might ask me to do to help my mother-in-law.  I had been traveling a lot already and did not want to add another air trip.  Besides sharing the Cowper verses, she had me actually articulate the worst that could happen: “I’ll have to fly out to Seattle and escort her to Asheville. And I don’t want to.” Anne then responded: ‘Do you think you’ll survive that short hardship?”

Well, put that way, what could I do but nod ‘yes’?

This morning reading Oswald Chambers devotion for July 11, I saw a healthier and saner way to approach ‘worst case scenarios’.

Oswald describes just how to think about all of life. It’s to keep reminding myself that the purpose of life, of every occurrence I face is to know Jesus.

Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3 NIV

And we ‘learn him’ better through every experience, from menial tasks to scary events. That is, IF we remember to view events from that perspective.

Using Jesus’ example of washing his disciples’ feet, Oswald writes that Jesus was willing to humble himself since he knew two fundamental truths: that he had come from God and was returning to God.

Continuing with Oswald, I should not approach a commitment, a volunteer responsibility or household chore with the attitude: ‘There’s work to be done, I must do it’. Instead, I should bring an attitude of wonder to the work at hand.  ‘I wonder what I will learn about Jesus in this?’

Just now sitting in the dental hygienist’s chair, the Holy Spirit reminded me, “This is an ‘event’.  (No, I don’t dread the dentist’s office!) Be on the alert from what you can learn about Jesus.”

I’ve been praying for ‘Karina’ since my last appointment, that she would come to know Jesus. With the Spirit’s prompt, as she removed tools from my mouth I asked her if her mom and dad were believers. That’s when I found out she grew up with Hispanic parents who never went to church.  I broke into Spanish and chatted with her some and created a point in common.  Now I understand more why she has no spiritual point of reference.

This is actually fun! Every part of my day is a new adventure if I seek to see more of Jesus.

And when it comes to those events I dread or worry about, I will continue to work on changing old patterns of fearful imagining of future problems. To that end, I’m copying Jesus, by applying and personalizing John 17:3 –  Since I know the Father loves me, I will do/face what is at hand, eager to know Jesus in a new way.  For this is what true life is.

How to help a friend ‘enchained’

June 20, 2024

Maria Community, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Guilt, Prayer, Uncategorized , , , , 3 Comments

On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3 NASB

When was the last time you were so tied up in a repeating pattern that you couldn’t think straight, let alone pray for yourself?

We all fall prey to Satan’s relentless and ‘moment-by-moment, relentless tactics to distract us, discourage us, divide us from others and disable us from experiencing everything that is rightfully ours as adopted members of God’s family’ (adapted from Priscilla Shirer’s study, The Armor of God).

Right now, I have 5 very close friends who are stuck in their muck, like we all get from time to time. Each needs to be reminded of God’s love for him or her:

  • One is preoccupied with guilt over how she mothered poorly
  • Another can’t stop questioning whether he really is a Christian
  • One is afraid to pray for a particular dream, yet he faithfully lifts up so the desires and needs of many others
  • Then there is a dear woman who can’t stop worrying about two emotionally-needy grandchildren.
  • Finally, one finds herself driven to the point of exhaustion as she goes about helping the endless swarm of hurting people in her path.

When we’re locked up, like my friends, we often feel helpless to think straight or pray our way out. Satan preoccupies us to distraction.  That’s why we so desperately need Christian community to help us see clearly.

How do we as brothers and sisters help?

First, we listen with empathy. We enter into their pain so they know they are not alone. Coming alongside and ‘naming’ what they are experiencing spreads healing balm.

Then we pray for them, out loud, right then and there. And we assure them of our continual prayers. We commit to check on them.

Next, if we sense from the Holy Spirit that they are ready, we encourage them to take one tiny step forward. We might ask them to think of something they could do. If they can’t, we might gently suggest a ‘baby step’.

For example, my friend who believes she’s ruined her adult son’s life. Statistically speaking, I think she’s awash in unnecessary guilt. (What mom EVER thinks she did a good job? To some degree we all damaged our kids. Afterall, we ourselves are broken!)

I could be wrong about my friend. So, if there is some legitimate harm she thinks she did, maybe she could write her grown son a letter. Ask him for his forgiveness. It IS possible that he doesn’t recall what lays so heavy on her heart.

If there is nothing, or nothing else, then, she has to leave ‘it’ with the Lord and move on.

Let’s always remind others of the Father’s love for them, that our God IS willing to forgive all. He IS eager and ready to pardon us.

Finally, we help them to call out to the Lord themselves. We might coach them with something like:

Father, help me this day to remember that:

  • you have forgiven me for what I did wrong or failed to do
  • your word assures me that I am yours by faith
  • you invite me to hand over all my worries as well as my desires and dreams for myself and others
  • you haven’t called me to meet all the needs of people I encounter

Holy God, may we and our friends keep in mind that you never created us to be alone or be enough. You formed us to need and depend on you, to stay connected to you by faith in Christ. And you gave us brothers and sisters to help us.  May we embrace our childlikeness, relax and enjoy you as loving and good Father. Amen

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