No more hiding

April 28, 2022

Maria 2 Corinthians 3, Sanctification, Truth , , 1 Comment

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Cor 3:18 ESV

When Graham was a little boy, he loved playing with the Transformers, those action figure robots that could change shape. When he turned 5, Mike took him down to Oxford to the much-anticipated feature film. This was 1988. Graham was so excited that of course they just HAD to show up early. Sure enough they were the only ones in line for a while. Bubbling over with unrestrained excitement, I can still hear his little British accent singing: ‘Transformers, more than meets the eyes……robots in disguise…..’.

Unlike these autonomous figures, we created beings cannot transform what is most important in our lives.  Sure, we can change our eating and our exercise patterns and our physical body adjust.  But we can’t transform our hearts.  We can’t heal our emotions.  We can’t really change our desires. 

The good news, the glorious news, the news that lifts impossible burdens from us is that Jesus can change us and he does.

Recently, I re-read Paul’s encouragement to the wobbly church in Corinth. Before the verse cited above, he writes how the law had condemned people up until Jesus burst onto the scene. 

We all know the sad history of Israel. That the Hebrews could NOT change, no matter how many remorseful renewals of covenant faithfulness they pledged.

That’s my story as well.  I’m now aware of the decades I have lived with limiting beliefs that over time have calcified into patterns.  God has now brought them out into the light in such a way that I WANT to change. But I know myself.  I don’t put any hope in my sincere and firm resolve.

I’m not despairing.  On the contrary, this promise from God, recorded in 2 Corinthians offers concrete hope.

Not pie-in-the-sky hope.  Paul, probably from experience, knows that real change for most Christians happens gradually.  Bit by bit, baby step by baby step.  He’s communicating an attitude of patience as he alters our desires and that of others for whom we pray.  And you know yourself that sometimes we can’t perceive the micro adjustment that someone has made.  But one degree, or one percent for sure affects the eventual outcome!

Guaranteed change with just one condition. We are to come fully into the light. No covering up, no pretending. Just as we are.  Paul calls this having an ‘unveiled face’.

And we can do this without fear, because the Lord already knows us.  Don’t you want to stop hiding?

But now you know God, or better still, God knows you. How can you turn back and become the slaves of those weak and pitiful powers? Gal 4:9 CEV

He’s ploughing my heart and it hurts!

April 21, 2022

Maria Ephesians 2, Healing, Shame , , , Leave a comment

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT

 God’s been doing something different in my heart for the past 18 months. The changes started when Graham recommended a podcast. Listening to the interview with Jamie Winship shifted how I pray. My journaling turned into a conversation with Jesus.  I began opening my heart and writing down my fears, my longings, and my questions. Sometimes the Holy Spirit would right away open up new ways of thinking; other times, the insights came later through scripture or someone’s written meditation.

Honestly revealing to Jesus my dissatisfaction with myself was new. The pace of insights and painful memories accelerated after an overnight ‘retreat’ with a dear friend who is a good listener.  Then I found a Christian counselor and began to process some of my layers of toxic coping mechanisms long practiced over decades.

Then came the gift of a painful experience that caused me to confront feelings of shame. God kindly didn’t leave me alone. He directed a friend to gift me with two books that have turned out to be timely. Reading them, I’ve been able to recall past incidences when I have felt caught off guard by shame.  

Furthermore, a new friend directed my attention to the podcast channel ‘Win Today’ with Christopher Cook. These interviews with Christian authors have been a source of new ideas that promote emotional healing.

Four days ago, on Easter Sunday, some totally new insights touched a sore nerve that until then had been obscured. I was brought to tears.  I find my reaction so startling as an Enneagram 5 who normally doesn’t know what she feels until some time has elapsed. Yet crying spontaneously is fast becoming a new habit.  In the past, I have relied on thinking my way through situations.

How did I miss out on listening to my feelings for so long?   I think because early on emotions felt too dangerous and scary.

But now, God is ploughing my heart.  He’s overturning the stable earth beneath my feet and watering it with my tears.

This morning, listening to some news about some family members going through a dark patch made me wonder.

Could it be that God has some new ‘good things’ for me to do?  Is all this inner prep his way of equipping me?

I feel ready to be on the watch and to continue these programmed ‘beauty’ treatments.  I don’t think I’ll be surprised when that ‘for such a time as this’ assignment appears.

Are these the worst of times?

April 14, 2022

Maria Praise, Psalm 102 , 2 Comments

He has turned His attention to the prayer of the destitute And, has not despised their prayer. This will be written for the generation to come, that a people yet to be created may praise the LORD. Psalm 102:17-18 NASB

I read this portion of the psalm right as Anne, our daughter-in-law, was in labor with our 6th grandchild.  This little girl, Caroline Leigh, doesn’t belong to ‘a people yet to be created’, for the Lord formed her in her mom’s womb last summer. The psalmist mentions those YET to be conceived and born.  Can you imagine? Maybe Caroline’s grandchildren will yet praise our good and happy God.

I realized, ‘Maria, you need to extend your perspective about the future!’

That realization connected to something I heard on a podcast this week.  The guest being interviewed explained how in view of all the ‘catastrophizing’ the news media does, we need to: ‘Widen our now.’

His context dealt with one of the harmful side effects that 24/7 reporting provides.  Today’s consumer of media can easily fall into the trap of believing that these are the worst of times here in America.

My mother-in-law has lived for 93 years.  She will tell you that in general, things have gone from bad to deplorable. A decline in law and order, poor education, polarization and so on describe how she sees America.

The podcast guest I listened to explained that if we just go back 50 years ago to the 1970s, we’d realize that we are safer now in 2022 than back then.

To correct our tendency to employ tunnel vision he advised the listeners to include more years in their perspective. That is if we want to judge our times more accurately.  He offered the mid-1800s as an example of times far worse than now.

It’s pretty clear that if we are to maintain our perspective, no matter what is going on, we have to see our lives through the lens of ‘eternity past’ all the way into ‘eternity future’.

Isn’t that how God himself, the one who created time, views our days?

So, you think you know her?

April 7, 2022

Maria 1 Corinthians 13, Compassion, Humility, Judgment , , , , 2 Comments

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT

‘Ouch!’ her bracing remark pierced a wound I thought had healed.

I focused mostly on my hurt feelings that first day or two as I mulled over her words and what had prompted them.

Eventually, I saw them as part of a pattern in our past interactions.  From there, it was easy to conclude that her particular childhood environment and behaviors she had absorbed from family members had made her like this.  And so, I viewed my ‘analysis’ as conclusive.

Fast forward a couple of weeks.  God graciously brought new information from a different source. I learned about some of the pressures she’d been under. Compassion welled up in my heart.  How would I feel carrying around all ‘that’ on top of regular responsibilities?

Then just to make sure I didn’t let that perspective fade, God made sure to affirm it with Paul’s truth I read the other morning in his first letter to the Corinthians.

The fact is, I tend to judge people’s actions and assign them motives that I make up.  I know I’m probably wrong most of the time.

For example, a couple of months ago while shopping at Kroger I judged a man to be a thief.  His little child was eating a banana. I then saw him THROW AWAY the peel, right there in the produce section.  ‘Come on, Dad, that’s pure theft!  And what kind of example are you setting for your son?’

A few minutes later I rounded an aisle and saw a big Kroger sign offering free fruit to children as part as their corporate commitment to helping teach little ones good health habits. 

Humility and embarrassment set in.  So glad I didn’t open my mouth to that dad!

We NEVER know the complete story about someone.  Besides, who are we to judge their hearts?  Who are we even to assume we have the entire story?

As Oswald Chambers says – “Stop having a measuring stick for other people. There is always at least one more fact, which we know nothing about, in every person’s situation. The first thing God does is to give us a thorough spiritual cleaning. After that, there is no possibility of pride remaining in us.”