Lies that fuel worry

October 26, 2014

Maria 1 Peter, Psalm 23, Rest, Romans, Thinking, Trust, Worries , , , , , , , 9 Comments

Sleepless in Balsam

Sleepless

That was me – Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights.  Couldn’t turn off my mind from pursuing one thought after another.

Nothing bad, just the possibility of another job for next year.

And it wasn’t a sense of joyful anticipation that fueled my thoughts, but a chewing on the pros and cons.

Relief finally came via reminders of Truth.

  • When I woke up Saturday morning REALLY tired despite lying in bed for 8 hours, the Holy Spirit gently chided me that I had failed to take advantage of Almighty God’s loving command to cast all my cares on Him.
  • Christian Community provided more light on what was True.

Anne and Wes were here for the weekend.  Listening to Anne describe her thought process on one of her issues (and what turned out to be a lie she had swallowed) helped me see some presuppositions I, myself, had accepted as Truth.  As it happened for Anne, finally admitting to a trusted Christian friend one of her ‘facts’ (aka –  an unsubstantiated belief), she was able to see, in the light of day, what her friend was able gently but rationally to point out.  Her account of thinking incorrectly helped me to look at what I had accepted as fact.

Here are were a few of my irrational thoughts mixed in with half-truths:

  • Those who are good teachers LOVE the field of education and teaching
  • I don’t love teaching but I enjoy some aspects of it
  • Therefore, I must be a fraud
  • Furthermore, I should not, AT MY AGE, attempt to move into a new educational opportunity
  • Something new might involve MORE work and a greater time commitment
  • I’m basically lazy anyway
  • Therefore, I would again be FAKING energy and interest that I don’t have in an interview

Listening to Anne gave me pause.  Maybe not ALL of my assumptions are true!  Maybe it’s irrational to compare myself to the best in my field.  Maybe my ‘good enough’ is sufficient for God’s purposes where I am.  Maybe where I am has less to do with teaching/educational work, than with being present for my ‘neighbors’ in my daily community.

Good Enough

One new thought prompted another as Anne shared from her life.  Maybe Satan is the source of some of these assumptions in order to discourage me from investing energy in my work life.  Hm – that hadn’t occurred to me. I default to believing that my thoughts have their origin in me.

And maybe it’s not about being good enough, or the best or wildly enthusiastic.  Maybe it’s about being faithful today, where I am, with what I’ve been given to do.  And to do IT with His power and wisdom and energy.

A comforting image came to me as I laid down for a nap on Saturday afternoon.  It was of the relief and ordinariness of just being a sheep in the Father’s fold.  Just a good sheep.  Voilà – my new ambition.  “Maria – just be a good little sheep!”

sheep So that is what I aspire to, this day.  Not to invent/create/or pursue my own goals, but to follow my all-sufficient Shepherd.  After all, He promises that as one of His sheep:

  • I will lack nothing
  • I will receive sufficient rest, energy and strength for the day
  • I will be directed, not for my sake, but for the honor of His name and character as the Good Shepherd
  • I will feast on royal food and be anointed with family oil reminding me of whose I am EVEN in the midst of enemies

Finally, to ensure that I clearly understood my Father in this matter yesterday, the Holy Spirit guided my podcast listening to a sermon in which the pastor taught from Romans 8.  The verse that was for me was verse 14:

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God”

Working backwards, I reasoned thus: Since I know that I have been adopted into God’s family and am a co-heir with Jesus, my brother, then ipso facto, the Spirit DOES lead me.  The Greek word is ‘ago’ (Strongs # 71) and it can mean COMPEL, DRIVE, BRING.  Much stronger words, then ‘lead’, wouldn’t you say?

If God is sovereign, then I can trust Him to drive me or keep me where He wants me.  And concerning this other job possibility I WILL turn over the next card and do what is at hand, this day, but I will pray to remember NOT to pre-occupy myself with the future.

Can anyone relate?

What’s the rush? You’re not going to miss your ultimate appointment!

July 27, 2014

Maria Impatience, Patience, Rest, Trials, Trust, Uncategorized, Walking with God , , , , , , , 1 Comment

“There are two days in my calendar: This day and that Day.” – Martin Luther

Martin Luther

 

 

 

 

 

I like Martin Luther’s earthiness for he was not afraid to enjoy life boldly and speak the truth with fresh vigor.

But what arrested me recently was his peculiar time-management system, at least as far as I can surmise from how he kept his calendar!

What about you and me?  For all the tech devices we employ, meant to make life easier, we seem to be burdened and tied down to what was designed to free us.

I’ve pondered schedules and the existence of RUSHING as a lifestyle this summer.  With 6 of my 9 weeks off as a teacher now a pleasant memory, I’ve been thinking a lot about TIME as I have crossed off summer chores and tackled ‘meaty’ books.  Can you believe that a couple of days I even ‘stressed’ at all I had to/wanted to do?

But is that the way a Christian who trusts God is supposed to live his life?  Does the Bible counsel rushing? By no means!  God WANTS us to develop patience, that is the qualities of endurance and steadfastness (Greek 5281 – hypomone). To prove my point, I’ve pulled out a few snippets of God’s will for us:

  • ..run with patience/endurance -Hebr 12:1  (‘feels’ like a contradiction, but not according to God)
  • …Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him – Gen 5:24 (God’s schedule, not ours) 
  • ….those who wait upon the Lord will ….run – Is 40:31 (have to keep our eyes on Him to catch His signal that NOW is the time to run using His holy petrol) 
  • …But if we hope for what we do not see, with patience/ perseverance we wait eagerly for it – Rom 8:25
  • Now may the God who gives patience/ perseverance and encouragement …. Rom 15:5 (a gift) 
  • And let patience/endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing – James 1:4  (patience aka learning to wait is God’s goal and desire for us!) 
  • For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Eph 2:10 (If God has these divine appointments and purposes planned, let us not fret about our time which is ALSO purposed and planned)

But how are we to gain this patience? Do you know ANYONE who is naturally patient? I don’t!

Here’s the truth: Patience is a gift from God.  But He doesn’t just imbue us with this attribute; He cultivates it IN us by means of the trials, struggles and problems He walks us through.  Do you get that? Suffering has a purpose when we consecrate it to God, when we trust our good Father in the midst of our hardships.  And knowing that there are reasons, even if we can’t see them, is far better than thinking that this painful stuff is just randomly occurring to us!  Chalking problems up to bad luck or fate produces NO endurance or patience – for what’s the point of bearing up well, if there’s NO POINT at all!

*

So what about those days when we don’t get done what we had planned?  The good news is – it doesn’t matter! God IS sovereign over our time because it’s not OUR time, but His!  He can chop it short or stretch it out.  And if the only day that really counts is when we meet Him face to face, then why stress?

Here’s a fact, both for the pagan unbeliever who is hostile to God AND for the child of the King who loves God. There IS a day appointed and fixed for each of us.  That is Martin Luther’s red-letter day.  You can be sure that you won’t miss that rendez-vous when each of us will meet Jesus face to face.  You can’t rush that meeting nor delay it.

Jesus holding girl

What to do with fear, worry, doubt and self-pity

July 6, 2014

Maria Anxiety, Doubt, Fear, Grace, Idols, Psalm 34, Worries , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Francis Frangipane quickly put his finger on just what fear, worry, doubt and self-pity are:  tools in the hand of the devil.

Frangipane - the 3 battlegrounds

In his book on spiritual warfare, Link to Amazon here, Frangipane explains how by recognizing when there is a disturbance to your peace, you can turn away from all those SELF-feelings and submit to God’s will.  The supernatural gift of peace that will flood or trickle back into your consciousness is actually a blow against Satan.

 

 

 

Here’s how this teaching has helped me during the past week.

Multiple times I caught myself worshipping the false God of the What If (that is – meditating on imaginary fearful scenarios – some of my temptations to worry focus on the safety of my kids and their families driving….)

When I caught myself worrying/fearing, I stopped and said:

  • This feeling is a tool from Satan
  • I’m serving a false god by spinning out these thoughts
  • Let me run back to the only true and living God
  • He tells me: “Don’t fear what they fear; do not be frightened” (1 Pet 3:14b)

A brief parenthetical explanation – I learned last weekend at the Gospel Coalition Women’s Conference in Orlando that to eliminate the satanic fears that plague us (what one speaker called ‘servile fear’ – akin to what a prisoner might experience being dragged off to be tortured and/or executed) we must replace them with the healthy, life-giving fear that God bestows on us when we are saved.  This is a ‘filial fear’.  This right view of God, called the Fear of the Lord, is similar to what a beloved and secure daughter or son feels toward the parent whom they want to make smile.

  • My God reminds me of the healthy kind of fear by saying, “Instead of those deadening, depressing fears you’ve indulged in, fear ME, the God who created you and who sustains you.  Then you will see clearly and be reminded that I have everything under control.  Keep your eyes on ME and step by step I will guide you because your heart is focused on submitting to my will.“
  • Once I have thought this through (takes about 30 seconds), I breathe deeply and the peace flows back into my consciousness.

fear of the lord

 

 

 

 

 

*

As encouraged as I am by this new way of thinking, I want you to know how often I bow down to the god of fear and worry. I catch myself falling back into life-sucking thoughts multiple times in the day.  But I’m beginning to feel more powerful, now that I can talk back to the Master Liar and step back into the light.

talk back to the devil

Psalm 34: 7 to 9  The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. 

The delight-filled duty of joy

April 27, 2014

Maria Celebration, Joy, Nehemiah, Psalm 30, Strength , , , , , 2 Comments

Do you realize that the God who created the entire universe, the one and only God,

  • is a happy God?  

 

If we are Christians, then we serve the Lord of Joy as His happy and glad ambassadors.

Dangerous Duty of Delight

 

John Piper’s book on joy

 

 

 

 

Once you SEE with open eyes that joy is both the fuel and result of biblical Christianity, then you can’t escape this doctrine.  The Bible is peppered with references to our joy, delight, pleasure and happiness in God.  Hebrew has several words like  ashar and simcha and sasson and the significant Greek word for this state of well-being is chara  (as in Acts 8:8 – there was ‘megas chara’ when Philip shared the good news of God who came to Earth as a man, aka the Christ)

Oil of joy

Here is how my morning thoughts have gone this week:

 

 

 

 

  • Focusing on what is permanent is healthier than meditating on circumstances, which in THIS world are always going to be temporary.
  • All the permanent facts of my life are AMAZINGLY and DELIGHTFULLY GOOD and HOPE-FILLED.  Nothing in my permanent future bodes ill!  It’s all going to be blessing.
  • My thoughts about permanent matters affect not only my moods, but how I relate to others.
  • If I am a Christian, then when I was regenerated, the Holy Spirit came into me and permanently, eternally altered my spiritual DNA.  The Holy Spirit is the archetypal agent of Joy.  I have Divine Joy, the 3rd member of the Holy Happy Trinity living with me, in me.  That gives NEW meaning to the assertion that the Joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10)
  • Joy of the Lord - butterfly

 

 

  • Part of my new makeup is gift – already imparted to me forever.  The Holy Spirit – God’s agent of Joy and Holy Happiness,  is both INSIDE me and around me.  Do you remember reading this fact? –  He has girded me with gladness (Psalm 30:11)

With all that God has done FOR us, He also trusts us and is training us to use some resources and tools that He now provides via His immaterial but living Word.  Daily we are to:

  •  prepare our minds for action. (1 Peter 1:13)
  •  PUT ON new clothes (Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.…Col 3:12)
  • Strap on our defensive gear, especially the Belt of Truth –  the outer part of that permanent Holy Belt of Gladness – (Eph 6:14) 

These are some of my prayer-filled thoughts that I engage in each early morning before I face the world.   They sort me out. They encourage me. They help me remember that I am NOT my own but His.  I have a duty each day to be ready to exude, offer, shed, share, sprinkle and spill out that counter-cultural vibe of true joy that comes from the God who is IN me, AROUND me, THROUGH me and definitely FOR me.

Everyone is saddened and heavy-ladened with something.  Everyone needs a lift.  We believers are permanently connected to a universe of grace.  We have NOTHING to lose! So be gratuitous with your grace. Your Father in Heaven will beam.  He will not chide you for wanton waste of living water.  The world is thirsty!

Addiction and joy

No more taking pride in those bleak ‘Ecclesiastes’ moments!

April 6, 2014

Maria Peace, Psalms, Thinking , , , , , Leave a comment

“The specific quality of faith is extraspective and in that respect is the diametric opposite of works. …….Faith looks to what God does; works have respect to what we are……,” John Murray on Romans

Psalm 131:2 – Instead, I have kept my soul calm and quiet. My soul is content as a weaned child is content in its mother’s arms.

I think I was approaching 50 when I started occasionally detaching and viewing myself and others around me in a kind of surprise.  I’d be at a red-light at a major commercial intersection looking at fellow drivers to the left and right.

drivers all together

 

 

 

 

I would start to wonder, “What is the point of life? ”  Now, don’t get me wrong; I was a Christian then, well-grounded in my Bible.  I’m just sharing how I was feeling.

Ennui animal

Soon I started going further down this ‘pseudo-sophisticated’ and semi-existential path.  It was a kind of mild depression. It had to do with the daily sameness of an ordinary life, thinking that there was nothing exciting to look forward to.  Maybe it was a kind of weariness of life.

I would even indulge in a bit of superiority in my own special ennui, knowing that buying new stuff  or going on a vacation wouldn’t satisfy me, like it would many of my mid-life peers.  I was one of those ‘deep thinkers who needed much more!’

I infected my husband.  He was in a similar boat in a job that brought no joy.  And when I named my feelings, my unoriginal term, ‘Eccleasisates Moment’ (as in ‘all is vanity’ à la King Solomon) resonated with him.

Not much good comes from all that introspection except for the helpful and salubrious-to-the-budget realization that spending money is no antidote to what is immaterial, namely a feeling.

Recently I have been helped by God’s word to me about taking joy in the simple provisions of life.  I have stepped down from indulging in those super-serious but unfruitful thoughts about the meaning of life.  More and more I am content to settle into and accept  what God says is the meaning of life.

If all life is a gift from God, no matter the form it comes in, then I am meant to live moment by moment with the anticipation that little kids have who are about to receive a treat.  God the good Father via His Spirit implanted in me is growing my feelings of love, joy, and peace.  He is giving me practice (through trying circumstances) to develop the habits of restful waiting, of being kind, of offering grace, of faithfulness in work, of  gentle words and responses to others and most of all teaching me how to control my emotional reactions to life.

Peace - Dove

 

 

So just as the Psalmist himself had finally realized, I am finally learning as a young weaned child of God simply to rest my head on Him.  It is enough to know that I belong to the Eternal God as an adopted daughter.  My good Father plans out my daily events and walks by my side to provide the helping hand and steadying I need as I depend on Him and practice keeping pace with Him.  Our Father is very much like Corrie Ten Boom’s dad who quieted her anxiety about an upcoming train trip and her need of a ticket. He assured his young daughter that he would hand her ticket when she was about to board the train.  So too, God – our Father will give us what we need when we need it, not before. I don’t have to know more than what He has told me and shown me today.

And when I start to fret about the seeming ordinariness of life, I try to remember that Jesus celebrated daily life by living it with bickering fishermen and complaining housewives and restless children.  He didn’t hang out too often with the Important People who were doing ‘big stuff’. He liked good food and physical labor and walking over hill and dale and camping out.  He celebrated with the wedding party and accepted people’s gifts.  He was a mensch.  May we be ones too!

Jesus and kids

 

So how are they working for you? your New Year’s Resolutions?

February 16, 2014

Maria Attitude, Colossians, Heaven, Joy, Nehemiah, Obedience, Trials , , , , , 1 Comment

Well, we’re well into 2014.  Are you feeling stronger and more fit from that new habit of hitting the gym 3 x a week?  What if I told you about a sure-fire way to gain strength WITHOUT going to a gym?  And it wouldn’t cost you TIME or MONEY.

Too good to be true?

Well, it’s a fact. God says that if we meditate on all His qualities and  His promises and past deeds, we will grow strong.  And why is that?  Because if anyone is a bona fide adopted child of God, he has God’s spirit living in him permanently.  And that supernatural, immaterial but VERY real substance gets FANNED into action in direct proportion to our enjoyment of God.

Nehemiah 8:10b –The joy of God is your strength!

So how do we apply this?

Everyone struggles with trials on a regular basis.  The circumstances vary, but the potential for

  • worry
  • anxiety
  • fear
  • uncertainty
  • frustration
  • depression
  • dread
  • hopelessness
  • pressure ………

are very present.  The Christian, however, is equipped with the ability to draw supernatural strength to bear up under the trial and see it to its end, however that may turn out.

What I am learning in the #1 trial of this season is that there is a direct correlation between my GAZE and my FEELINGS.  If I look down/inward into my problems, I feel all the above.

But if I start thinking about how awesome and consistent and reliable is our God, then I feel better.  I get stronger!

There’s another verse that came to mind this morning as I was battling fear and dread.  Paul reminds us (and God is commanding us) to

That exhortation to fix our thoughts on permanent, eternal, God-things comes right after Paul tells us to set our HEARTS on the same.  Hearts and minds cover both our FEELINGS and our THOUGHTS.

Seems like we have a true EITHER/OR choice.  And these are two, mutually exclusive possibilities.  We have to do one or the other, not a little of each.  We will either meditate regularly (i.e. make ourselves at home) about our earthly circumstances OR we will focus and live in anticipation of all that is awaiting us in our heavenly home.  The gutsy question then becomes, Which one do we WANT to make our default? Since we’re flawed, sinful children of God, we will slip up even if we DO choose to set and reset..and reset…our minds to things above.  But God promises to help us obey him.

Jesus set His face firmly toward Jerusalem, making that final journey to the cross.  He chose His direction AND He cried out to his father for help to follow through.  There was no shame in that.  No surprise that Abba – Father came through.

Question:  Which trial are you currently struggling under/with?  Can you see how going round and round in the problem(s) or difficulty actually drains you?

‘Dem Bones’- what’s connected to your mouth ‘bone’?

October 20, 2013

Maria Heart, Matthew, Proverbs, Psalms, Thinking , 2 Comments

Knee to thigh to hip bone and so on

Jesus has harsh words about body parts and their connections.  And He isn’t talking about bones!

Matthew records Him directly criticizing the spiritual heads of the Jews –

        You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matt 12:34)

It’s pretty clear, what we put into our heart, comes out of our mouth.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been horrified at the remarks that have slipped out of your mouth.  It’s like they bypassed the sentry at the gate, or the guard wandered off AWOL!

“Where did that expressed sentiment come from?”, you wonder.

Actually, from your heart.  What we think……. about we talk about. It’s pretty simple.

The Bible uses the the ‘heart’ to refer to our mind.  So it’s what we think about, that produces feelings that spill out as words.

How have MY thoughts damaged relationships?

  • I’ve uttered hurtful remarks to various family members and friends
  • I’ve divulged confidences and passed on criticisms ABOUT family members and friends…all because I was meditating on those thoughts
  • I’ve lost a potential  job because in the stress of an interview, I burbled something stupid that actually WAS in the background of my conscious mind (Note to self – you can’t push thoughts far enough back)

But we can’t help what we think, can we?

Yes and no.

  • Thoughts DO pop into our conscious mind unbidden.  When they are sinful, we need to yell out to God, “HELP!!!” What we can pray is something like this: Father, remove this thought from me.  It’s NOT kind or helpful or true.  Give me something to replace it – and PRONTO!”

  • We can practice ‘tasting and seeing that the Lord is good’ (Ps 34:8) and then thanking God FOR all His creation.  Today in church, Patrick explained that the remedy for NOT getting drunk on wine (Eph 5:18) was to move toward a positive action.  “Be filled with the Spirit” (i.e. the Truth).  Exhorting yourself to STOP DOING THAT BAD THING! never works.

I’m sure you can think of lots of verses that speak to how our thoughts, feelings, words and circumstances bear on one another.

My birth date Proverb is 23:7 (23 July) ….For as a man thinks within himself,  so he is;

……and I would add, so she speaks out to others without a filter!!!

What verses about the heart or thoughts or words are dear to you?

Fatal False Guilt

September 29, 2013

Maria 1 Peter, Anxiety, Guilt, Romans , , , , 2 Comments

You might be a fellow member of the False Guilt Club.  I actually don’t remember being invited to join.  I think I just woke up one day and realized I was already a practicing adherent.

I spend SO much of my mental energy feeling guilty for not living up to the expectations and thoughts I imagine others have about me.

How do you know if you’re a member?

You’re a member if  SHOULD is an active part of your self-talk.

“I know I should……. (but I don’t want to)”

  • call my family members & friends more often
  • go back to church for the evening service
  • join a small group
  • attend more student extra-curricular functions at school
  • share more  time and life with neighbors
  • engage with my students in the hallway more
  • be a better wife to my husband in ways I think he must want
  • plan more creatively for holidays, birthdays…..

I spend so much energy and a good portion of my thought life dialoguing back and forth with ME about how I’m not the kind of person that I think others would like me to be,  and about how I don’t measure up to their expectations.

I’ve been asking God to help me get a handle on this, because it drives me nuts and depresses me.  I used to engage in this a lot as a parent.  That’s why I never wanted to read parenting books – they were fodder for more guilt.  Now that guilt-ridden self- talk has been renewed since I have become a grandparent.  I don’t measure up to my peers who are already grandparents.  I don’t sew clothes, Skype frequently, spend a lot of time helping the parents (our kids) out.

As I have prayed through this and thought about what the Bible has to say about guilt, I am exploring the difference between conviction of sin (result of Godly guilt) and misplaced fear of man.  This wrong ‘fear’ of man instead of  the healthy ‘fear/respect/awe of God’ is a plot straight from the pit of Hell.  Satan loves to get us so knotted up, focused MORE on us and less on God.

God speaks through Paul when He assures us that as adopted members of His family,

  • ‘there is now no condemnation for those who are united to Christ by faith’ (Romans 8:1).  With that GREAT news as a foundational truth, we are ready to hear more from God.  Through Peter, God instructs us
  • “to…… put away …. all deceit and hypocrisy and envy.” (1 Pet 2:1)  The Message refers to deceit & hypocrisy as pretense.

It IS pretense when I DO something in order NOT to feel guilty for NOT doing it.  When I pretend that I want to do what I THINK you want me to do that’s just plain false.  My sole motivation is to avoid guilt and to project a certain image so you’ll approve of me and  think well of me.

Isn’t it better to be honest in a tactful and loving way and ask God to give us the desire to do what HE wants us to do?  Maybe there’s a Holy Spirit reason we gravitate towards some activities and not others.

Last year I was asked to substitute in the nursery at church for a friend.  I’m glad I didn’t have much time to angst about it. I said straight away, “Sorry, I don’t like serving in the nursery. I’ll gladly sub for you in MS or HS Sunday School, or in the kitchen or even cleaning bathrooms at church!” I know she was shocked by my confession of not really being into babies. ( I loved MINE and I’m prejudiced toward our grandkids, even if I don’t think I’m as good a grandparent as everyone else.  And there’s a reason why I teach kids aged 11 on up!)

How do you handle the imagined ‘shoulds’ in your life?  Have you come across any Biblical references to this kind of emotional turmoil?

“Incoming! Take Cover!” aka Not My Thoughts

May 26, 2013

Maria Anxiety, Colossians, Control, Fear, James, Peace, Uncategorized , , , , , 1 Comment

You want to know what I am worrying about?

  • ·         The expectations of my new school OF ME and the time I will have to devote at Carolina Day School  (what if I don’t have enough ‘maria-time’??????)
  • ·         Our shower basin will get so ‘grodily’ mildewed in the next two weeks that the buyer won’t want to close on our house
  • ·         That something else will break in our house and the buyer won’t want to close on our house
  • ·         That one or more of our kids/ grandkids will die
  • ·         The future illnesses/deaths of our cats and end-of-life decisions

My husband thinks I don’t fight the temptation/sin of worry.  I asked him this morning, “Why do you think I write about worry, fear and anxiety so much?”  Isn’t it obvious that I’m trying to fight them?  To get a biblical handle on how to frame them properly?

Here is how the Lord has been helping me through His living Word and via the writings of other Christians.

Several times in Scripture God affirms that He resists the proud BUT gives MORE grace to the humble (for example – James 4:6).  As I’ve been memorizing some verses in James around this particular truth, I’m coming to realize that Pride presents itself in 2 different forms:

1. Well, at least I don’t do XYZ like Joe/Jill!!!!  (and the many smug versions of this kind of ‘put-down’ comparisons)

2. What if XYZ doesn’t happen like the way I want it to? (and the many anxious versions of how I want life to turn out)

What’s God’s solution? First off, He communicates that these attitudes are demonic/ satanic/ out of the pit of hell.  They are NOT my thoughts.  They are an attack.

Just knowing that those fears I listed above originate outside of me gives me HUGE relief!  I can relax in God’s assessment and then accept and use His provision of rescue.  Here’s what the half-brother of Jesus counsels:

First – submit to God – turn toward Him and accept His truth of what is happening.

Fear, anxiety and smugness are ALL SIN!   Father and Big Brother Jesus  both command in numerous places:  Fear Not……Do Not Be Anxious……Repent & Rest…. Confidently Rely on God…Thank God in ALL Circumstances…Take Shelter in God, Not in Men

Second – resist the Devil – copy Jesus who used the living word – “It is written…”, when He was attacked by Satan.

Of course, the Bible is realistic.  These plaguing and demoralizing attacks will pop up again.  Even Jesus knew that His victory over Satan in the desert was just one of more to come.  Why should we expect anything less?

I have come to understand that FEAR/PRIDE are really one and the same.  Just as a coin has two faces, this sinful posture reflects the 2-sided family flaw we inherited from our first parents, Adam & Eve.  Both responses flow out of our human bent to think we know what is best for us. 

Here’s my version of one of those situations above:

Our Virginia house had better ‘close’ with no problems on 12 June so we can move into our Carolina house on 14 June.

That’s pride – thinking I know what is best for Mike & Maria. 

Fear flows out from that, “ What if it doesn’t go according to our plan?”  And since I have lived in the world long enough to know that I can’t control everything, worries set in.

What to do?

I’m learning to imitate mature Christians:  I speak God’s truth back to myself. Here are some examples.

·         God sees all the circumstances. (I don’t!)

·         He knows what is best. (Not me!)

·         He won’t withhold any good thing from me -Ps 84:11. (Really!)

·         I can trust Him to know and give me what is good for me.

·         All things work together for my good. (Rom 8:28)

·         God is truly in control and plans/controls/ordains/directs/allows all things that happen.

·         Who am I to think I would understand God’s ways and what is best?

I will close with a very helpful reflection that I read this weekend.  Here’s the link to the whole post (it’s definitely worth reading! )   Countering our negative assessments

The author wrote –

  • Nothing bad can happen unless there is something more than Christ that you want.

  •  So the Worst Case Scenario — is only a possible scenario if you want something more than Christ.

Each time I remind myself of that reality, I exhale and relax.  That’s right – I DO HAVE Christ!  And once you HAVE Christ (‘Christ in me, the hope of glory’ – where hope means assurance/expectation/guarantee/promise – Colossians 1:27) all else pales, because all else is just temporary.


Reflections on waiting

February 8, 2013

Maria Faith, Fear, Genesis, Prayer, Uncategorized, Waiting , , , , , 1 Comment

This waiting thing – we’re in the thick of it!

  • Waiting for the house to sell
  • Waiting to get a teaching job in NC
  • Waiting for Mike’s first paying client
  • Waiting for Wes to return from Afghanistan

Not that waiting isn’t part of others’ lives, too:

  • Our brother and sister-in-law are waiting for her immigration paperwork to come through.
  • Friends are waiting for babies – to be born and to be adopted
  • Many sisters & brothers in Christ are waiting for loved ones to be brought into God’s forever family
  • Other friends are waiting for healing and pain to subside
  • A friend is waiting for her husband finally to receive the career recognition he deserves and longs for
  • Another friend is waiting for debt to be paid off so she can marry

I realized something last night that shifted my view of how God is working.  I’m a lot more relaxed this time around selling a house.  The first time was when we were 27 years old.  Mike had moved out to Monterey, Graham was a baby and we were desperate to sell a house in Arizona.  DES-PER-ATE.  I bugged the real estate agent every day.  God was gracious and brought a buyer in 3 months, despite my total lack of faith.

The last time we sold a house, I had started growing spiritually through the means of Bible Study Fellowship, but was living functionally still as an atheist.  I was 42 this time around.  As I fretted internally, worrying about 30 times a day, “What if…..!!!!”  (at least I didn’t phone our realtor every day!), God brought welcome relief in the form of a verse.  We had studied Genesis the previous year in BSF and all of a sudden I recalled the promise God made to Abraham when the old man, like me, was fearful, tired & discouraged.

Gen 15:1 Fear not Abram, I am your shield and your very great reward!

All of a sudden, my behavior switched.  I consciously chose to sub in that very promise from God each and every time I caught myself falling into worry and fear.  I would literally shake my head and actually stand up to that worry/fear thought:

NO!  then I would say to the Lord…

God, YOU are my shield and my very great reward, therefore, I will not fear.

Instead of playing the worry movie 20 – 30 times in a day, I affirmed God’s Word over and over again.  A month later, God brought the buyer.

Now I’m 55 and we’re selling our 3rd house.  My goal is to offer my waiting to God as worship.  I want to PLEASE my Father by demonstrating that I trust him.  As Graham reminded me yesterday in a phone call, ‘We have a rich and powerful Father, so we can relax’.

The realization that struck me last night came in reflecting about how we came to find the house that we are going to purchase in North Carolina, God-willing.  From Thanksgiving through mid January, we had been ‘studying’ available houses, making a list of features, comparing them in Excel (a side benefit that comes from being married to an analytical husband!) all in preparation for a house-visiting trip last month.  Our goal was to make an offer on a house over that January weekend since Waynesville is 8 hours away by car from Newport News.

We arrived on Saturday at the real estate agent’s office and in addition to the list of houses we had planned to visit; she added one that had ‘just popped up’,  being listed 2 days earlier on the Thursday.  It wasn’t part of our ‘careful study’.

And as you might guess, that is the house we have chosen.

Do you see what I realized last night?  At just the RIGHT time, God brought ‘our house’ to us, not dependent on our analysis and searching.

If I extrapolate, at just the RIGHT time, God will bring:

The buyer for our current house…….The job offer for me……etc

Yes, our efforts are important – But God doesn’t want frenzied, desperate efforts.  Reasonable next steps/actions that come from a deep, relaxed and confident dependence on God are the kind that honor our Father.

Lord, thank you for Christ:  my Anchor, my Blissful Rock, my Big Brother, my Champion and Author and Finisher of the faith implanted in me.  Give me the humility to keep casting these cares back on You, because I KNOW You love us and have our best interests at heart.

God meets our needs very creatively!

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