How we talk to ourselves matters

November 15, 2025

Maria Belief, Fear, God's faithfulness, Prayer, Psalm 107, Psalm 126, Unbelief , , , , , Leave a comment

“The Lord has done great things for me, and I am glad.”
 Ps. 126:3 — my paraphrase

So many of my friends are journeying through difficult times. Some face cancer scares, others lament and then pray with hope for prodigals, and a few have lost jobs.

Last week, I celebrated the Lord’s goodness to me as He led me into the light, having birthed a book, Feed on Him: 365 Daily Devotions to Make God’s Word Yours with His help. One practical anchor that kept me from allowing myself to be overcome by difficulties was the phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is . . . .”

We all move through our days with an invisible but steady inner monologue. For far too long, mine has been more negative than positive—even as a follower of Jesus. Though, you wouldn’t notice that about me, for I project “cheery and animated” when I interact with others.

But I have decided to try to change my thought patterns. Since the beginning of November—two weeks now—I have invested time most mornings in writing down personalized versions of Scripture to remind me just how much God loves me. The idea is that if I “marinate”—as Scotty Smith writes—in His eternal agape love for me, that can rewire my heart and my body. Yes, I’m brainwashing myself with God’s truth.

Anyone can turn Scripture into a personal confession, praying it back to the Lord. Today I have in mind the grown daughter of a sweet friend of mine. This young mom and other family members are waiting for the results of a biopsy, knowing that a positive result would be serious.

Using Psalm 126:3 as a prompt to announce God’s goodness, I’ve customized some of Psalm 107, announcing God’s Word as having already happened. I had written it for myself after the book project. Stressing over it had caused my body to exhibit some very distracting physical side effects.

Vs. 1 I give thanks to You, O Lord, for You are good; Your steadfast love for me lasts forever.
Vs. 2 I, redeemed by Your love, do say so, for You have redeemed me from many past troubles.
Vs. 5–6 When my soul was fainting from fear within me and I cried out to You, Lord, You delivered me from my distress.
Vs. 7 And You led me by a straight way.
Vs. 8 I thank You for Your unfailing love for me.
Vs. 14 You brought me out of the darkness of my own despair. You burst my bonds.
Vs. 15 I do thank You for Your steadfast love that never changes.
Vs. 19 When I cried to You in my trouble, You delivered me from my distress.
Vs. 20 You sent out Your Word and healed me.

We’re not blind to circumstances, but our God is more powerful than any created detail. As the prophet proclaimed:

“Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed.”
 Jeremiah 17:14 NIV

Personalize scripture by rewriting it for yourself

September 2, 2023

Maria Meditation, Psalm 32 , Leave a comment

For me to meditate on scripture, I have to write it out in words I can understand. But lest you think I just make up words, I don’t.  I use the website, Blue Letter Bible.  There, I can see the Hebrew and the Greek (or Aramaic) words with their multiple shades of meaning.  Furthermore, I can check out where a term is used elsewhere in Scripture.  This app/website is rich in resources and I consult it daily.

To give you an example, here is how I personalized the following 4 verses from Psalm 32 this morning.  First, the original NIV translation:

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble

and surround me with songs of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him. Psalm 32: 7-10 NIV

After reading the verses, I spent some time investigating the different ways certain terms have been used, and where they pop up in other verses.  Next, I addressed myself, writing advice to Maria based on what I found in this segment of the psalm, but not in the order each verse appeared.

Verse 9:  Maria, don’t be like an unruly mule who must be controlled by the rider.

Verse 8: Choose, instead, to stay aware of and close by to Jesus, as near as possible so you can hear his instructions and catch his eyes that go along with his words.

Verse 10:  Why? For your protection and security and sense of well-being. For it is FACT that steadfast love surrounds those who position themselves close to the Lord. Not only does he want you that near, he actually walks about you.  All those who trust him, he guards with that attentiveness, giving them direction. You, Maria, little sheep that you are, this includes you, for you have learned to position yourself near your Teacher.

Then from verse 9, I responded to all this good news by writing TO the Lord:

Thank you, that you walk about me. I know full well that you are my refuge in times of trouble. And as you encircle me you shout and cry out words of deliverance. I can hear your voice in my mind’s ear.

How long does this take?  Not long at all.  I probably spent a good 10 minutes this morning pulling out some riches from these verses.  My particular way of digesting them is to write what I see.  You’ll also notice that there were some verse segments I didn’t even address.  This morning, what I most needed was assurance and comfort of the Lord’s nearness.

For me, this is both fun to do and deeply satisfying. But don’t worry if you are not a writer or a journal scribbler. I can also imagine someone simply doing this out loud. No need to pick up pen and paper.  I just find it easier to process through the writing process. Whatever causes us to slow down to savor the promises, will enrich us.

A new way to pray for my family

January 26, 2023

Maria Ephesians 6, Prayer, Psalm 23 , , 1 Comment

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want……..  Psalm 23 ESV

This morning I journaled my version of Psalm 23, personalizing it into a prayer of thanksgiving and affirmation of my trust in God. Here’s what I jotted down.

“With you, God, I will never lack what I need such as rest, or refreshment. I can count on you to restore my soul to its original condition. Each day the world, my sin and Satan’s dirty tricks batter it.

You know how I’m counting on your promised wisdom and guidance this day, for I have no idea what I will encounter. But you do, since you have already scripted it out!

When you, Righteous and Holy God, purposefully lead me into places that feel unfamiliar and sometimes scary, I’ve learned to count on your invisible but real presence. I’ve experienced your protection and deliverances many times before.  I don’t have to see your rod and your staff to trust you.

Who can deny that this fallen world is broken and evil exists? Suffering no longer surprises me. For you have taught me through your word that,

…. our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12 NIV

Over and over again, I have experienced how you publicly affirm my place in your Kingdom Family. Bad things never can threaten my secure place in your Home. Daily anointed, I am invited to enjoy uninterrupted Kingdom food and fellowship with you.

And if that weren’t enough, I know full well that I will never lack your goodness toward me, nor stop receiving your covenantal family love.

Thank you, Father!

Closing my Bible, I moved into a time of prayer for my family.  Usually, I pray for each person individually, according to what I know their specific needs are. I’m personally and permanently connected with 15 different family members. These include Mike, my beloved husband, 2 sons, 6 grandkids, 2 daughters-in-law, my mother-in-law, one brother-in-law and his wife (my sister-in-law) and my favorite cousin. How I pray for them varies, but this morning, after such a reassuring and meditative time with God, lingering in David’s psalm, I chose to pray globally for my family as a whole.

It went something like this:

Father, you have placed me in the lives of these fifteen precious people.  Open their eyes this day and cause them to know that walking with you, they will lack nothing they need.

May they relax into your promised all-encompassing care. This includes, rest, refreshment, restoration, provision, protection, wisdom, guidance.

I don’t know what trials and suffering they will encounter.  But may they count on your promised presence, even in the most frightening events, conversations, or news they receive.

May their afflictions this day not rock their assurance of their forever place in your Kingdom family. Deafen their ears to our culture’s message proclaiming that you don’t exist or don’t care.  Protect them from unwitting and discouraging comments of ‘helpful’ Christians. And block their ears to Satan’s whispered lies which masquerade as their own thoughts.

Strengthen their union with you, Jesus, so they enjoy uninterrupted table fellowship with you.

Finally, shift their eyes upward and give them an expectant hope TODAY of your creative, but sure ways to shower them with your goodness and steadfast covenant love.

And tonight, as they lay their heads down to rest, may they fall asleep mulling over their guaranteed future with you, knowing that the best is yet to come. Amen

I enjoyed praying like this, using one of the morning’s scripture readings. I’m eager to try this again. What helped, though, was first to digest God’s word myself.  Only then could I see how to speak God’s word out loud as an intercessory prayer. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for this fresh way of praying!

All those ‘shoulds’!!!

July 8, 2021

Maria Condemnation, Conviction, Holy Spirit, Romans 8 , , , , Leave a comment

July 6, 2021

Maria Condemnation, Conviction, Holy Spirit, Romans 8 Church family, Introversion, One-anothering, shoulds and oughts Leave a comment [Edit]

The mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6 (Berean Study Bible)

I’ve been wrestling with how to distinguish between condemnation from Satan and conviction by the Holy Spirit.  I find myself often thinking, ‘I SHOULD be doing more with people, especially those at church’.  Why am I bothered?  Because when I think about all those people I ‘should’ connect with, I feel depressed.  I just don’t know how to THINK about all these ‘shoulds’. And they continue to hammer me.

I’m an introvert and I’m aging, and I no longer want to gather with people as frequently as I did as when our boys were little. 

Our life is so different from when I was a busy mom, teaching French, serving with Bible Study Fellowship, and teaching adult Sunday School. On top of those commitments, we still enjoyed getting together with church family for mid-week potlucks, weekend retreats, picnics, and even a weekly small group.

Other engagements also dotted our calendars. Mike sang with a professional choral group whose performances I would attend. We occasionally took in other concerts as a family.  Finally, during many years of my dad’s later years, we would spend Sunday evenings enjoying dinner at his place.

But these days, I prefer quiet evenings at home, just with Mike. When he asks “Do we have anything going on this weekend?” and I answer with a cheery NO, I share his delight.

So, why am I telling you all this?  Because I feel ‘wrong’, condemned. Thoughts like: ‘you’re supposed to be ‘one-anothering’ those in your church family’. Multiple ‘shoulds’ assail me. Almost daily.

In my defense, I do connect throughout the week with lots of people, mostly through emails and zoom calls. I also volunteer in two different places.  This fixed amount of extroverting does stimulate me. But my calling, what I DELIGHT in doing, is writing and speaking other languages. They, I absolutely look forward to.

So, how have I handled these voices that steadily announce what I ‘should’ be doing, and how selfish I am?

I’ve been praying, reading scripture, journaling, talking with Mike and my friend Joyce and then writing some more, as I wade toward clarity.

Joyce offered this thought, ‘We should distinguish between what we want to do in our day that pleases us and the activities that have eternal value.’

Do dinner prep and sharing with Mike have eternal value?  Do keeping the house clean and kitchen stocked have eternal value? Do reading and thinking have eternal value?  Do they justify pulling in a bit more?

God has been letting me churn, prayerfully ‘stew’.  But not alone. That other helper, the Spirit of Truth, has been guiding me, too. Mostly through scripture.  For example, this statement of fact penned by Paul brought me relief a few days ago:

There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 (NLT)

Satan condemns and the Spirit convicts.

Despite feeling reassured for that particular day, Yet, once again, I fell back into uncertainty when the calendar turned over. 

Then Tuesday morning, I saw something else in Romans 8.  That verse about having the mindset of the Spirit. 

I looked up the Greek in my phone app Blue Letter Bible.  Seeing the grammatical form of ‘of’ excited me.  It’s genitive and it expresses possession!

I scribbled a re-write: …the mind belonging (of) to the Spirit!

I continued, connecting it with the rest of the verse:

Romans 8:6b….the mind belonging to the Spirit is life-giving and peace-filled.

I jotted down two synonyms for life offered by the Blue Letter Bible: vigor, energy, both with a sense of abundance. 

My interpretative conclusion THIS day is:

Since I belong to the Spirit (and soak in God’s word daily), He guides me, he leads me toward what gives life, bringing energy and what keeps me filled with Jesus’ peace.  When I notice an idea that is anti-life, i.e., draining or something that steals my peace and starts me angsting, that is the tip-off to ‘taking THAT thought captive to Christ’ and rejecting it.

Of course, I intend to keep praying and seeking direction in God’s word, as well as asking for wisdom from select mature Christian friends. As I keep Mike in the loop in this process, I am trusting the Lord to corral me if I tend to go off track.

Oh, Father, keep me teachable and don’t withhold your wisdom from me!

Can we be content ALL the time?

July 12, 2020

Maria Anxiety, Contentment, Faith, Forgiveness, Matthew 5, Matthew 6, Reasoning, Repentance, Thinking , , , 2 Comments

Have you ever looked at and analyzed those ‘Blessed are the….’ in Matthew 5?  You know, that famous hillside occasion when Jesus preached to many?

They seem to promise complete, 100 % satisfaction ONE DAY.  In the future.  Not now.  For instance, Jesus mentions:

  • A future Kingdom
  • Seeing God
  • Acknowledgement as sons of God
  • Mercy
  • Possession of the entire earth
  • Comfort

He teaches that the desperately needy, hurting, sad CAN BE those who GET what they crave.  He calls them ‘blessed’ because, the relief of the need is guaranteed. One day.

Some of the verbs Jesus uses in that discourse mention longings:

  • mourning
  • desiring an inheritance
  • craving mercy
  • wanting persecution to stop
  • needing one’s name to be cleared
  • hoping for peace amidst all current rancor and bitterness

I’ve been thinking about contentment a lot these days.  Lots of ‘my wants’ continue to be BLOCKED.  These desires tend to be short-term longings.  I’d like to see family and friends. I’d like to travel.  I’d REALLY like this time of anxiety-riddle uncertainty to end.

What do I tend to do with my anxious thoughts?  Journal about them, read my Bible and see how God corrects my thinking.  Here’s what happened Friday morning that prompted me to slow down and think:

  • God has given me confidence (faith) that he is who the Bible says he is.
  • Therefore, I start from the presupposition that the Bible is God’s true word to me.  His promises and his characteristics are FACTS.  They won’t go away. They won’t change because of WHO God is PLUS his nature and his commitment to honor his word.  He IS his word.
  • I can’t read the Bible knowing that God is God and NOT do what he tells me.

So, what I wrote in my journal on Friday was that reasoning with faith produces actions, which in turn produce FEELINGS! (I had gotten this from John Piper several years ago)

Then it dawned on me!  I wrote: “The only real and worthwhile category of contentment is BEING CONTENT IN YOU, because OF YOU!”

I sat back, wondering at the simplicity of all this.  If I want permanent contentment, then I need to be glad about EVERY thing God has done for me and ALL that he promises to continue to do unceasingly.

Three gifts immediately flew into my mind:

  • You opened my eyes to KNOW what kind of person I am and who YOU are: Holy God = knowledge and faith
  • Through Jesus’ life and death on my behalf, I now have a permanent relationship of favor WITH you = repentance and forgiveness
  • Your holy, supernatural, perfect spirit is IN me, permanently = matchLESS companion and counselor

Then this morning while thinking about what Jesus promises us, his sisters and brothers, brought this clarity:

  • God created us with real desires and longings
  • They WILL be perfectly fulfilled…… one day!
  • Nothing here on what I call Earth1.0 can ever meet ALL of them or any of them in a satisfying way that leads to contentment

When I brought my thinking to a close (it was time to get ready for church) I summarized in my journal:

“The only way to have genuine contentment right now in this broken, fallen world is to be content with who God is and what awaits me from his hand.  Those without Jesus as their savior and friend have no hope of real or permanent contentment.”

Okay….so with whom can I share these thoughts? Thankfully you! – who spend a few moments scanning or reading these posts.  So my question to you is this: How do you see and seek contentment? Do you keep struggling to BE content or SEEK contentment? Has what makes you content changed over time?

Matt 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

 

 

 

Why does everything feel like a burden?

May 3, 2020

Maria Obedience, Psalm 18, Psalm 55, Reflections , , 1 Comment

This is embarrassing to admit, but some days, the idea of fixing dinner FEELS like a burden.  I’ve told Mike that I think I’m addicted to ‘pleasant’ or pleasure. I can’t come up with any other explanation.

So what does ‘pleasant’ mean to me?

Not having anything to do that I don’t want to do.  The funny thing about dinner prep is, is that I CHOOSE to cook. It’s not like someone else MAKES me.

I also choose to exercise each day.  Three of the days each week I push myself hard, working on cardio endurance and muscle strength. Those are the mornings I dread. Yet I know that discomfort is a small price to pay for fitness and health.

Then there are the once in a while tasks that feel like burdens. The other night the reality of a new month hit me – a month with Mother’s Day and 4 birthdays in our family.  My desire to give thoughtful gifts that please clashed with a lack of confidence in being able to find them. 

After a couple of days of churn over the gifts ‘burden’ plus some other unresolved matters I had to get myself in hand, via God’s Word.

Feeling sorry for myself and with a bit of drama I wrote in my journal: Things I need to do ALWAYS feel like a burden. But I’m supposed to cast ALL my burdens on God (Psalm 55:22).

ALL of a sudden, one of God’s truths came to mind. It’s those two verses from Psalm 18:

28 For it is you who light my lamp;
    the Lord my God lightens my darkness.
29 For by you I can run against a troop,
    and by my God I can leap over a wall.

Here’s how verse 28 helped me: If God lightens my darkness, that means He will show me what I’m to do about each purchase for my family. 

Reading further in Psalm 18 I mused: Well, what are walls, but obstacles?  With the gift example my lack of creativity is no hindrance to God who is CREATOR of all that exists.

And what is a troop but an enemy army whose diabolical objective is to RAID my peace of mind!

As a redeemed little sister of Jesus, family PEACE is my due. The Father doesn’t intend for me to worry.  He wants me to hand over EVERY burdensome, anxiety-producing decision or problem to Him, however minuscule they seem. He even calls my relying on Him ‘obedience.’

Seeing these truths, together with writing down my thoughts in my journal dispelled the self-pity and lightened the tasks.  Even my workout didn’t feel so painful afterwards!

Here’s my prayer for today: “Okay, Father, I’m handing over ‘all I gotta do’ about gifts during May. Today, I will just do what is at hand, what I CAN do.  Thank you for reminding me of my privilege to off-load all that feels burdensome.  Thank you for your promise of energy for today.”

And about the ‘burden’ of preparing dinner for Mike and me? Another truth from God’s word came to mind as I was getting dressed.  God has sovereignly ordained for all of us the GOOD gift of work, (a pre-fall blessing). Yes, there is time to relax and restore. But work is the natural guiding principle of human activity.  We are meant to TEND our gardens, whether in the home or in the office.

Father, help me to remain content with the work you have given me this day. May I do each task depending on you, for the welfare of those around me, for my joy and to please you. Amen

PS:  My mother used to say that the THINKING about something was always worse than the actual DOING.