Talking to God

September 5, 2025

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Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8 NIV

As I write, we’re passing over Des Moines en route to Seattle for Mike’s 50th high school reunion.  Shortly after sunup, after feeding the cats their breakfast, I slipped out into the cool misty September morning to walk and pray and off load my travel anxiety.  After a few minutes taking in beauty, physical sensations and sounds, I turned inward, thinking I should start praising God.

I surprised myself as I just began chatting to God, not using any structured prayer or format. “Wait a minute. I have a Father. I don’t have to follow a script. I can just talk to Him as I would to my own dad. After all, wouldn’t I find it weird if Wes or Graham were to initiate each conversation with me, their mom, praising me for my attributes? 

For sure, for what I value most with my sons is when they share their hopes, their worries, their dreams, and what makes them laugh. I love their jokes. Simply put, I want them to be real, to be themselves around me. I love spending time with them.

So while taking in the beauty of the early morning, I began simply to talk to my Father about what was on my mind. It felt natural and free flowing. Occasionally, I spontaneously broke into praise. My mind then moved towards friends and family who needed Divine help. Intermittently chattering tree frogs captured my attention and made me smile. I simply enjoyed being present with God in His creation.

Pumping my legs, relishing the fresh beauty, savoring the freedom to be transparently real with God made for a relaxing start of a long travel day.  Sure there is a place for using Scripture to pray in a more organized manner, but I imagine the Lord smiles when we just want to be close to Him.

How to practice a Psalm

August 29, 2025

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But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. Psalm 5: 11 NLT

For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:12 ESV

We’re back from the Italy trip and feeling so grateful for God’s good care each day and night. Leading up to our departure, I had to fight against using my imagination to project: What if there are problems and they dampen the trip!  

This morning while reading these two verses from Psalm 5, I saw what I should have done, how I should have prayed and what the Lord actually did despite my failures.

Headed into the trip I gave into Satan-inspired fears more often than I want to admit. I should have fought against those ‘voices’ with vigor, by copying the psalmist: But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. 

Had I continually affirmed the goodness of God in providing me a refuge against Satan, I would have felt secure and been able to sing God’s praises with gladness of heart. 

Once IN God’s shelter, resting in His safe covering, I could have then more easily followed King David’s example as he asked the Lord through prayer: Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy.

For example, traveling to Italy via an overnight stop in Zürich where we rented a car, I could have prayed this verse and felt assured that God would protect us and the car.  Without a doubt Mike and I LOVE God’s name.

(Note to Self: Could asking someone if they love God’s name be a useful way to open up a Gospel conversation?)

I would have saved myself a lot of pre-trip anxiety had I soaked in the comfort of verse 12: For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

As I mentioned, despite exercising a fear-perforated confidence in God, He graciously DID cover us with favor.

We DID rejoice with relief upon turning in the rental car in Zürich with no scratches or dents. With both of us shooting up arrow prayers, Mike safely drove south over the Alps and back as well as navigated single lane Italian roads through hillside hamlets during our eleven days in Lombardy.  

And talk about God’s favor! From spectacular warm and sunny weather, to fresh Italian bread delivered to our Airbnb each morning, to awe-inspiriting vistas, to an overnight visit from Italian friends and plenty of hanging out and observing local Italian life in restaurants, grocery stores and on walks, we were the recipients of so many of God’s gifts. 

Father, You really are so good. Forgive me for doubting.

Now, considering future trips, including this next one to Seattle, may I recall HOW to count on You and reject Satan’s ‘suggestions’.

It is far better to learn to receive……

August 19, 2025

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For it was I, the LORD your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things. Psalm 81:10 NLT 

This is day four of our two-week trip to Switzerland and Italy. Reading this blog, you probably are aware that I have a problem with choosing to imagine problems instead of picturing What if it’s Wonderful? That question is not just the title of a book worth reading, but a framework I am trying to adopt. 

So far, everything about this European adventure has been over-the-top amazingly delightful.  Last night, awake for a few hours, (no, not jet lag, just something that plagues me from time to time), I put two and two together. 

I am like one of my granddaughters. For a while she has been fearing that she is not a good enough Christian, that she has to earn God’s love, that she has to do amazing things for Christ. In what sense am I similar to her?  

One line from a recent prayer written by Pastor Scotty Smith describes me: “If I maintain a daily regimen of Bible reading, Scripture memorization, and quiet times, but don’t really believe the Gospel, I am a disciplined unbeliever”.

If anything, I am disciplined in my daily practices, from time with the Lord to language practice, exercise, food prep and even this writing. But I don’t believe what Jesus actually says. Here is how I know. 

In the months leading up to our departure to Italy, I forecast all sorts of situations that might go wrong. Usually in the middle of the night, too. I would attempt to solutionize imaginary scenarios. But so far, God has stunned me by His goodness.

Planes arrived and landed on time. We managed to snag a first class upgrade on our Delta flight to Zürich for not much more money. The hotel in Zürich offered us a room at 10 am the morning we landed at half the rate of a normal night. We rented a car and safely FOUND the Airbnb in an out-of-the-way little hamlet reached by ancient narrow roads. Mike navigated 108 hairpin turns up and over the Swiss Alps after we inadvertently chose the most stressful mountain pass.  And our host, Cesary, has demonstrated inordinate, over-the-top care with fresh bread deliveries, a stocked fridge and a plant in the apartment.  I haven’t even mentioned the view of the hills from our sunny balcony.

I don’t deserve any of this, especially after I have hurt Jesus by not believing that He is good.

But that is the point, isn’t it. No one deserves grace. He keeps giving even when we don’t trust Him.  So, my dear granddaughter, I am learning as are you, that we don’t need to fear we are not ‘good enough’.  Of course we aren’t. We’re fallen, broken sinners. But forgiven and greatly loved ones. And that makes all the difference. 

So, I raise my glass of wine and give thanks to my Father who exhorts me: Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.

Grazie mille!

Resolving marital conflict, while vacationing

August 9, 2025

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So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NLT

I had to humble myself before Mike as he did with me. Today is day five of this year’ journey to northern Italy with a couple of days on either end in Zürich.  Travel stress reveals our hearts, laying bare who we really are. 

Mike daily focuses on safely maneuvering the rental car, a Czech Skoda, as we listen to Italian directions and watch the Apple Car Play map display and verify with the road signs. That plus narrow one-lane streets that squeeze past ancient stone houses. I’m trying to be ‘helpful’.  It doesn’t take much effort to picture what our conversations are like.  

This afternoon, having parked the car for the night and after some unnecessary words from me about driving, we changed clothes and hiked up to a chapel on a hill.  As the church bells pealed, informing the valley that it was 4 pm, we slid into another verbal ‘splat’.  Mike turned around and sharply asked, “Why are you acting like this?  I was actually agreeing with you! Why do you feel you have to explain things to me?”  

Stunned into silence, I couldn’t account for my words either. Suddenly, I recognized what this is: spiritual attack!  I blurted out, “Mike, Satan is trying to mess with us. God has been so good to us. He’s brought us to a beautiful place and we’re hissing at each other. Please, pray.”  He recognized what and who was behind the day’s conflicts and asked me to pray to the Lord.  I did, pleading for Jesus to restore our union with Him and each other. Then we asked each other’s forgiveness.  And it was done. Peace restored.

Our good Father called us into marriage 45 years ago because He knew we’d rub each other in many unhealthy ways. Gradually, thanks to the Holy Spirit’s oil of peace, God is sanding us down, smoothing out the sharp and rough edges. Creating something beautiful out of each of us, I pray.

God keeps working, especially on vacations.  

What’s in a name?

July 23, 2025

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The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. John 10:3–4 NLT

Do you ever wonder what name Jesus calls you? Up until Sunday, I assumed that in John’s account of the Savior’s teaching that He would just use my regular name, Maria, to call me. But then I thought about all the whimsical and loving nicknames Mike and I have for each other, our sons and our cats. 

When I met Mike and started dating him, I called him Bear.  Not very original, I know. But then he became Punky Bear, and eventually Bear Chil’. (child, without the final D). He named me Bean, Monkey Bean, and finally Monkey Blossom. Now we refer to ourselves as Bean and Bear. Naming someone denotes love, connection and intimacy. 

I’ll spare you the extra names we’ve bestowed on our two sons and all the cats we’ve loved over the past 45 years of marriage.

Thinking about the God-man and Good Shepherd, why would He not name the sheep under His care?  After all, Adam selected names for all the animals God brought to him.  Believers, disciples of Jesus, are more than sheep that follow Jesus. We are also His little brothers and sisters.  Family members, with whom our Lord enjoys a loving and playful relationship. 

Could He perhaps have more than one pet name for each one of us, according to our moods and our actions? However many, each name communicates His commitment to our well-being. Furthermore, just as we are individually called, we are also blessed to know His voice.  

Maybe you, as I am, are finding that the more time you spend reading God’s history, His letters as well as instructions, that is the Bible, the better you can discern His voice. For sure, I’m learning to distinguish the Lord’s words from those of the thief whose name is Satan. As we learn from Scripture, this foul spirit seeks to blame, shame, separate and destroy us. He has no love for us. And he calls us ugly names.

Wondering about what name Jesus calls me has made me think of the one and only pet name I had as a little girl. My grandmother Mimi lived with us until she died when I was 22.  And she used to call me, ‘Maria Baby Ball’.  (My middle name, Ball, comes from one of my southern ancestor’s surnames.) I cringed as an older child when she used that name. But now I see it for what it was, a sweet way to communicate delight and  closeness to her grandchild whom she loved. 

Ever-present help that brings peace

July 1, 2025

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, . . . Romans 15:13 NIV

I’m editing a book of 365 short devotionals that I composed over a four-year period.  Just now I re-read one of them and found encouragement and perspective I could retro-apply to a recent visit with family.  In my earlier devotional I wrote about my dreading an upcoming planned occasion and how Paul’s verse together with the Holy Spirit changed my outlook prior to the event.  So encouraged, I launched into a mystery hunt, expecting to learn something that would bless me.  And God came through, using His word and a changed expectation to see and receive the gifts He had planned. 

Fast forward to this month when Mike and I shared eight days with two of our grandkids. Some intense emotions and puberty girl drama occurred during their stay, eliciting all  our empathetic listening skills.

Compared to when we raised our two sons years ago, we proved better equipped to offer supportive listening with lots of hugs as well as spoken prayers for this precious Chrisitan granddaughter. She clearly was struggling with some important and deep early adolescent issues. We HAD to depend on God and He came through in a beautiful way. The Father gave Elizabeth some spiritual insights while communicating His total love for her when she doubted. We felt privileged as she confided in us which enabled us to support her with love.

A couple weeks have passed since our grandkids were here, but my empathetic skills have remained sharp. Omniscient God had already prepared me to assist my husband when he felt battered by two painful life occurrences. How did that unfold? During a sleepless night, while depending on the Holy Spirit, I received an insight prompting me to offer something to Mike out of love. In the morning, when we talked, my offer quickly dissolved and softened the blows he had received. 

Maria’s lesson?  The God of Grace is enough, both for me and for me to help others. He promises supernatural joy and peace when we trust Him. Looking for God’s spiritual gifts and listening for His voice is how I can receive exactly what I need from Him.

Pray as David teaches us

April 9, 2025

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In times of trouble, may the LORD answer your cry. May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm. May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers. Psalm 20: 1, 4-5 NLT

We read this in church last Sunday.  Later that afternoon, I read Psalm 20. What a powerful encouragement to any believer. This psalm also offers me a model for when I petition the Father on behalf of all our leaders, both within the Church and in society.

Using this prayer song, the people of Israel make several requests to God on behalf of their beloved king, David. The people are pleading for what is best for the public good.  David, the warrior king who loves God, wrote this psalm for his people. With it, he actually instructs the people to pray for him in ways that glorify God.

All of a sudden my thoughts flitted forward in time to the Bathsheba and Uriah tragedy.  With that chapter of David’s life in mind, I don’t believe David is unaware of his potential to sin. Certainly he doesn’t want the people to ask God to grant every desire that he might entertain.  But what they are to ask for, is that their king would do all in the name of God, to include defeating their common enemy.         

I, too, want and pray to the Father for Him to defeat His and our enemy, Satan, and all whom he manipulates. For sure,  an enemy of the Lord is my enemy. When I pray for God to be victorious, when I think about our leaders who shepherd the Church and ask for their protection, I want King Jesus to deliver us and the Kingdom from evil. It’s what I most desire.

So, Father, grant this deep desire of mine and alert me to when I crave or long for something that doesn’t glorify You. Without Your protection from Satan’s temptations, I can easily fall into doing something evil, without much thought.

Fellowship with one another

March 23, 2025

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But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7 ESV

God really does communicate personally if I stay open to hearing Him, when my Bible is shut.  Two days ago I texted something to a family member. I thought I was communicating empathy.  She took it a different way. With clear words, she let me know that I had “rubbed her the wrong way”. That with a specific question, I had intruded in an area quite personal to her. 

She was both direct and gracious as she communicated a boundary. I immediately thanked her for promptly letting me know and apologized, promising not to bring it up again. 

Did this encounter hurt? Yes, but I’m thankful she trusts me enough to be honest. She values our friendship.

This morning, as I was reading Oswald Chambers, (23 March My Utmost for His Highest) I knew Jesus was speaking to me about this incident.  Oswald wrote to the effect that if God pinpoints something in us, highlighting a sin, He isn’t asking us to change. “He only asks you to accept the light of truth, and then He will make it right”. 

The wrong response to any criticism would be to try to justify or explain ‘it’ away.  As is with our God, so it is in our human relationships.  Had I made excuses to this dear one like, “Well, I was only trying to reach out to you….” that would not have brought the two of us back into fellowship, removing the distance. On the contrary, it could have enlarged the discomfort she felt and created a chill in our relationship. 

Agreeing with how I had hurt her was moving ‘into the light’. Just as He promised, Jesus washed away the sin and restored our fellowship. My response and her acceptance of it, removed potential compostable material for Satan to take advantage of.

Definitely worth it.

New Year, New Goals, New Format

January 12, 2025

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I’ve switched to writing short devotional-sized reflections. Occasionally, I’ll post two of them here on this blog. Happy New Year!

….let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him …..Hebrews 10:22 NLT

After Joe’s sermon on Sunday about how to abide in Jesus, I read John Piper’s Solid Joys reflection on this verse.  He called it a ‘command’! That startled me, for sure.  I never have viewed it as a command. But I can’t tell you why not, given that I know enough about other language grammar structure to recognize it.

Had the writer meant to exclude himself, he would have said it this way:  Go straight into the presence of God!  But he includes himself, ‘let us go’.

Why did this grab my attention?  Because Joe had mentioned that when we obey God, we are abiding in Jesus. Usually, I picture obedience as doing something difficult.  But this command is like:  let us eat our chocolate after dinner, something altogether enjoyable.

Could it be that I could view other commands as delightful?  How about:

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT.

More to ponder and try out, for sure.

****

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So, I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 NLT

Oswald Chambers always gets me thinking. As I read his devotion, I picked up my pen and started writing to figure out what was packed into this one verse.

Here goes my version of Galatians 2:20. According to God, my illusions of who I am died on that cross with Jesus.  That Maria no longer exists. (Although at times I forget and start thinking like her.) A new Maria lives because of Jesus.

When did that happen? At the point when God opened her eyes to see Jesus for who he is, Holy God, and to see that Maria, selfish sinner, headed for eternity separated from God.

Since then, the new Maria is to by faith, depending on the Son of God who loved her by yielding himself to unrighteous, evil authorities in obedience to his Father. Jesus died on the cross instead of Maria.

The cross remains a picture of the judgment that would be awaiting me were it not for Christ taking my place. In the cross, I see what I deserve as well as the love of God for me.

I’m trying to keep one eye forward to follow Jesus and the other eye back on the cross to remember what would have been my destiny. 

Help for a worry addict

November 8, 2024

Maria Meditation, Philippians 4, Prayer, Renewing, Sin, Thoughts, Trusting God , , , , , , 2 Comments

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

I’ve resolved to attack this sin of worry any way I can!

That is not a new decision, but one that dates decades back to when I became a Christian in my early twenties. Sadly, as motivated as I can be, I have easily slipped back into that well-worn groove of pondering and stewing over current situations and feeling bad.  Yes, despite having ‘given them over’ to Jesus.

You see, I simply forget that I am cutting a new path through the wilderness, this jungle of my thought life.

To help me, I realized yesterday that I should PRAY early in the day, asking the Holy Spirit to help me remember my true desire.

This morning, he brought a device to mind, a resource that  might just be what I can use to not forget my resolve to kill this sin.   

In his letter to the Philippians, who apparently were believers prone to worry like me, Paul offered a path for our thoughts after we have handed over to Jesus what weighs us down. It’s a verse I memorized some years back.

I excitedly turned to Philippians 4:8 thinking that just maybe there were seven topics offered on which I could focus my thoughts in lieu of stewing.  That would be cool if there were seven, the number of ‘completion’, allowing me continuously to cycle through one a day.

But there are eight. 

I googled, ‘significance of the number eight in the Bible’. And voilà, up popped this gem of an article spelling out the wonder of eight.

It turns out that eight communicates ‘a new beginning, order or creation’.  How cool is that!  The author relates at least 10 different places in the Bible where 8 is meaningful.  Mentioning just one of the early ones, eight people on the arc were saved out of the flood.  You should read the rest of examples in Scripture.  As a teaser, David was Jesse’s eighth and last son.

Do you remember how Paul exhorts us to be changed completely by renovating our minds, by changing our thought patterns?   The Bible declares that we are new creations. But just as we are considered forensically or legally righteous in Jesus since believers are covered by his blood, we still have to grow into what we are in practice.

Today, waiting in my physical therapist’s office for my time slot, I shunned my phone, choosing instead to use today’s Word, “true” and meditate.  I started to think through all that I knew to be true. I had time for about 15 facts before Phil called me back. Such truths as:

  • I have a Father
  • He created me on purpose
  • I have worth in his sight
  • He is sovereign over every detail of my life
  • He IS handling my needs and my requests

Not only do I need a daily focus, if I’m to direct my thoughts away from what I have handed over to the Lord, I want also to use the daily meditation focus as a way to sift my thoughts.

Here is how I see this filtering tool. From early this morning, I was armed and ready to clobber any thought threatening to sink me with the help of my shield. Before I let a potentially enemy though get close to me I was ready with a probe: Is that thought TRUE? 

I pray I can get practiced at remembering and challenging myself as I protect my new path of God-honoring thoughts. If you think of me or run into me in person, please feel free to ask me what my pondering focus for the day is.  Or call me out on a comment I make that dishonors, condemns, or isn’t true, lovely, right or praiseworthy.   

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