When measuring is a snare

June 8, 2014

Maria Forgiveness, Freedom, Gospel, Grace, Law, Life, Romans , , , , , , 2 Comments

Get out of jail free

Romans 6:14 uses words to describe our ‘freedom’ card.

The first translation is from the NIV and the second is the Message

 

 

  • For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.
  • Sin can’t tell you how to live. After all, you’re not living under that old tyranny any longer. You’re living in the freedom of God.

I’m reading a book that Graham gave me for Mothers’ Day.   Here’s the link  –  Punch Fear in the Face – Start

Jon Acuff Bk Punch Fear...
One of the author’s premises is that people have these internal voices that authoritatively talk to us in messages that are anything but positive.  And…(here is the kicker)..we BELIEVE them!  They are particularly active anytime we entertain a new direction like:

 

 

  • start an exercise program
  • go back to school
  • research a possible business idea
  • ask for a raise
  • confront another person who has hurt us
  • stop a bad habit
  • ask someone out for a date
  • audition for a part
  • apply for a job
  • dust off a dream
  • change churches

His remedy is to articulate out loud what the voices say, think about the message in the light of day and speak truth back to them, thereby quenching their power……for the time being. I actually had the courage, yesterday, to do just that and it was liberating. woman in the shower       I don’t like washing my hair because it means staying in the shower longer than normal which means I have to confront what I think is a poofy tummy (I know…TMI!).  For the first time, however, I recognized this thought as ONE OF THOSE INSIDIOUS VOICES!!.  So I talked back to it and said – “Wait a second.  A tummy is NOT a shoulder bone.  Shoulders are hard, tummies are round and soft – that’s just how they are made.  So what if it feels poofy?” And that was that – the voice went back into hiding and I was left feeling free!

I had read the above verse in Romans the other day and suddenly made the connection.  Anytime I MEASURE myself vis-à-vis others using an imaginary standard in my mind, I EITHER feel superior or inferior.  And what I have done for that moment is to step back INTO the prison cell of the Kingdom of Darkness where Law reigns and sin is the norm.

Measuring and comparing oneself to others is to forget that we have already been sprung from the World’s Way.  We have been transferred into the Kingdom of Light, by Grace.  We didn’t collect enough brownie points to EARN our way into it. We were liberated from our dark prison cell.  The door swung wide and we walked out into the Light where we have

  • value because God chose us and paid for our release
  • an inheritance we don’t have to earn
  • freedom NOT to play the ‘measurement’ game

In essence – we now live in OPEN space in the LIGHT under a completely different system that uses the currency of grace, not merit.

And….we find ourselves frequently running back to that dark prison of measuring ourselves in comparison to others, a system familiar to the point that it’s almost comforting.

prison bars

The good news is that the door stays open and we can turn around (repent) and walk back into the light.

Knowing that is like sticking your hand in your pocket and finding that Get Out of Jail Free card!

When falling flat on your face leads to life

June 2, 2014

Maria Gospel, Grace, Law , , , , , , , 4 Comments

But she’s a GOOD person!

Have you ever heard someone push back against suffering that has befallen a friend?  The sentiment seems to be that such trouble should not have befallen a person like HIM or HER!

But what defines good?  How good do you have to be?

That’s easy – the Bible is pretty clear about what God considers ‘good’.

The truth about us is NOT so good…..

Whether it’s the 10 commandments that Moses carried down Mount Sinai….

Moses and 10 C

  • Or Jesus’ long list of requirements He taught listeners on the hill
  • Or His ‘Cliff Note’ version of two, (Love God…Love neighbor) we can’t BE good enough.  We can’t DO the “Law”!

 

 

 

And that is exactly what we are supposed to learn!  Only when we come face to face with the humbling fact that we stink at being ‘good’ as defined by God (Be perfect!), can we find freedom.

In short – we have to hear the ‘bad news’ of our guaranteed failure at being law-abiding citizens before we are ready to welcome the ‘good news’.

F - failing grade

 

 

 

 

 

People often choose just what they want to pursue to define themselves as good.  Many people invest energy, resources and their enthusiasm in a pet project.  They might be motivated by a vision they catch from their interpretation of the prophet Micah’s message:

He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?   

Micah 6-8

 

 

 

But it’s relatively EASY to pick the category and measure ourselves by how well we stack up.  But God doesn’t let us pick just what WE want in order to please Him and then to brag.

If you take a few minutes and THINK about Micah’s 3 activities, you can gain some insight.  These are the described  AND prescribed acts, thoughts and feelings an individual follower of God is to show – always.  Let’s imagine a checkbox by each so we can see how well we perform, moment by moment:

_____We  are called to DO what is JUST in every encounter with people, not just the ones we choose.  The Hebrew word mishpat refers to the right or correct legal decision in  a dispute.  So if we individually DO justice, then we give people the benefit of the doubt if we are not sure, following the legal standard of ‘innocent’ until a preponderance of evidence shows otherwise.  Often I do what will maximize MY time and convenience, not is what is RIGHT or in someone else’s best interests at a cost to ME.

_____ God commands us to LOVE  chesed, that steadfast mercy, kindness and love associated with God. What we talk about often reveals what we love.  By THAT proof, I love ME, my husband, my kids, new tech stuff, and time to read.

_____Finally, we are enjoined to WALK…..HUMBLY…WITH God.  That means going at HIS pace, in HIS direction that He alone knows, being DEPENDENT on Him.  But isn’t it MY life? And isn’t the pursuit of happiness one of our country’s bedrock principles?  It’s un-American to be dependent…..

perfection

 

 

How have you done, so far, this day?  God requires a perfect score EVERY moment of EVERY day in EVERY domain of our lives.  It’s only when we grasp the enormity of what God requires to let us into His heaven, that we come face to face with the stinking reality of how impossible it is to meet His standard.  And in case one thinks he can earn a perfect score, Jesus throws a wrench into our calculations with this ‘silly’ image from Luke 18:26, Matthew 19:24 and Mark 10:25  and of how hard it is to get into Heaven:

Eye of the needle

 

 

 

 

The illustration is meant to convey the fact that we can’t measure up adequately to please God.  Only when we really GET this truth are we desperate enough to drink in the good news……… of someone else’s record extended to those disgusted enough, tired enough of their own efforts to meet the standard!

Good News

Next time we’ll talk about how the knowledge of Jesus’ life and death changes everything.

Longings and Disappointments

May 25, 2014

Maria Dreams, Heaven , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Are you disappointed in how life has turned out so far?  If you are honest with yourself and are over 40, have you flirted with the scary thought that maybe your most intense dreams/desires just won’t be fulfilled?

Dreams - unfulfilled

 

 

 

 

I’m thinking of friends who:

  • have yet to find a spouse, but desire to be married
  • are not able get pregnant
  • long for a family member to come to Christ
  • struggle with chronic overweight, out-of-control spending or other addictions and feel locked into unhealthy patterns
  • can’t seem to find their vocational calling and have it line up with paying work

I have such a dream. When I was a teenager living in Europe thanks to a military dad, I discovered what a rush it was to speak another language and live immersed in a different culture. I reveled in speaking French and German. I often thought that my ideal job would be to work as a clerk in a shop, never mind what it sold, and have that daily interaction with the public be IN another language.

Vendeuse dans une boulangerie

My fantasy, then,  as a young girl was to marry a Swiss and raise our children to be at  least trilingual. This was before I was a Christian and knew about the blessing of being wed to another believer. Thanks be to our God who sovereignly guides our lives. He overrode my young girl’s top 5 qualities in a future husband and brought Michael into my life at the age of 22.

And He gave me a few bites of my dream during the first 10 years of our marriage.

But it’s been years now and that dream of living in Europe and conducting our daily lives via another language has yet to be fulfilled. I often wonder if it will.

Yet, I am beginning to grasp a longer view of life. CS Lewis argues that longings are not in vain.  Given how our normal every-day desires like hunger, fatigue or the need for sexual and social fulfillment can be met in healthy ways, one can argue that there is no such thing as a true unfulfilled desire.  If God planted a desire in us, it is because He intends to fulfill it.  A thorough essay exploring this argument can be found here: Argument from Desire

I’ve begun, now, to quiet myself and let go of potential disappointment.  God is not One to waste anything. It’s been argued that He uses even our suffering.  Why should He then NOT use our longings?  In fact, my theory is that He plants those desires, gives us talents and experiences/practice to hone the skills with the plan to make use of EVERY ONE OF THEM! God has the long view and is not impatient.

And it could just be that those plans are not meant for THIS phase of life, our 80-90 years in a fallen world.  But they are intended for the life to come – the one that is more permanent.

  • So to my friend who has two nieces who long both for a godly Christian husband AND children – maybe those gifts for homemaking and interaction with children are going to be used LATER!
  • And to my dear husband, who would love to sing again from that Anglican repertoire with a group of professional musicians, keep looking forward to that day!
  • And to my departed dad who dreamed of running again with the full energy of youth, I pray to see you doing just that one of these days.

As for me? With my love for languages and learning, I think God has given me THOSE gifts for joy-filled purposes that I can only glimpse.

Best is yet to come - CS Lewis

Trials, Trust and Truffles

May 20, 2014

Maria Galatians, Trials, Trust, Uncategorized , , , , , 1 Comment

Summit Graduation Banner - 17 May

 

 

 

It was a sweet homecoming – with so many friends, students, parents, colleagues, and brothers and sisters in Christ!

I had been invited to be the commencement speaker this past weekend at my old school, Summit Christian Academy, in Yorktown, Virginia.  It had been 11 months since we had seen everyone, having moved down to Western North Carolina last June.

As I shared in an earlier blog post, I had crafted a talk that was a parable of 2 college students, but Mike had honestly commented that it felt more like LAW than GRACE when he read it. Humbled, I ditched it and started in on Version 2, this time relying on God for inspiration.

Katy bar the door

 A talk tinged with ‘Law’ and good advice?  “Katy Bar The Door!”

 

 

And what resulted, I’m convinced, was what God had intended all along.  Instead of a clever framework for how to live the college life, according to Maria, I spoke from the heart.  I unreservedly shared some past pain, lessons  and surprising gifts in the new talk entitled  ‘Transitions, Trust and Truffles, (aka treasure)”

Intended for whom, you ask?  Voilà la question!

Some of the 18 seniors sitting in cap & gown nodded off.

Dozing off during a speech

 

 

 

 

My look back and distillation of transitions-cum-trials from forced and often reluctant practice relying on God  was probably of little interest  to 18 year-olds that Saturday afternoon. (Yes, I could see a few chins sinking to chests!)

But the adult women who came up to me afterwards and shared snippets of their struggles and how God encouraged them via my remarks confirmed to me that however ‘unusual’ the talk was, it had indeed ministered to some.  What kind of thread can unite the stories of 4 improbable Bible characters such as the Ethiopian eunuch, bitter Naomi, willing Sarah and reluctant Moses and encourage all of us to trust God?  Where else but in Christianity do both the ‘deserving’ AND the ‘undeserving’ receive overflowing gifts of love and grace from God!

My points were: 

  • Transitions are frequent in life
  • Some we choose, some we don’t
  • The only sane way to handle all of them is to trust God
  • God is doing more than we can imagine in even those transitions we choose
  • Our trusting God will be evident to others and make us attractive – causing them to look twice – at us and our circumstances
  • At that point, having been drawn to our counter-intuitive trust in God, they may ask WHY we are different and WHAT we believe, opening the door for us to share specifically the content of our HOPE in God. (1 Peter 3:15)

Preach gospel to yourself

 

 

 

One ‘aha’ moment from this past year was the need to stop listening to my thoughts and instead TALK to myself, that is TELL myself truth.  Once I realized that some of my thoughts were not really MINE, but ‘enemy propaganda’ planted by spiritual forces of wickedness, I wrote out a list of FACTS that I continue to recite every day to ward off the virus of discouragement.  Here they are:

  • Discouragement is from the Pit of Hell
  • It has no content – it is just a tactic, a device, a ploy, a method, a tool
  • Discouragement is intended to stop me, and move me from where I am being effective for the Kingdom
  • No weapon formed against me can prosper UNLESS I quit
  • I will not quit or leave my post until God moves me

The entire weekend was a gift to me; for not only did we catch up with many friends from our neighborhood, the school and then church on Sunday, I got to experience the encouragement of the body of Christ.  Many friends and family members called me before our trip, wrote me reassuring emails and texted me that they were praying.

Text Msg to Encourage me -17 May 2014

 

 

 

 

One final thought:  So many friends came up to me after my talk and remarked: “I had no idea that you all were going through such trials.  I’m so sorry!”

What I found myself reflecting back to them was this: “Don’t be sorry!  Mike and I have had a  very rich year, digging into God’s Word for comfort, guidance and truth.  I wouldn’t have invited these trials, but I’m not sorry for all we are learning about how REAL and RELIABLE God is.

Paul exhorts the Galatians to:  Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way ….  fulfill the law of Christ.  (Gal 6:2)

You all did that for me this weekend!

Bear one another's burdens

God’s been busy in my life

May 11, 2014

Maria Grace, Isaiah, Law, Praise, Prayer , , , , , , 6 Comments

God at work

 

 

 

  • God – 1

  • Spiritual Forces of Discouragement – 0

**

There was a school contract for next year in my box on Thursday.

No other doors for jobs have opened up.

This is a no-brainer.  God directs us by shutting doors and opening doors.

Whoever boasted with confidence:  “You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to….” should get a grip on reality.  Nothing thwarts God’s plans.  And if He doesn’t want you doing XYZ, then you won’t do XYZ.

  •   I am God, and there is no one like Me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things which have not been done, saying, My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure – Isaiah 46: 9-10

**

So THANK YOU ALL for your faithful prayers this school year as I have been battered multiple times by discouraging setbacks. I do believe my cousin Terry who has affirmed all along that God must have plans for me to shine light on Him at this school.

**

You can also pray as I prepare to give the commencement address at my old school in Yorktown, Va next week.  I was invited in February for this Saturday, 17 May at 3 pm.  During Spring Break and then over Easter, I leisurely finished up my talk.  I forwarded it to my husband who is a good editor and his comment was, “This feels more like law rather than grace!”

What????

Law v. Grace

 

 

 

So now, closer to the wire, I started over to write THE TALK, version 2.0, this time HAVING to TRUST GOD and not my resources. Darn!  (Just kidding)

This is one of those times I suspect God has been enjoying a good chuckle at my expense – He has me right where He wants (relying on Him)!

Actually, I’m grateful to God for a grace-dependent husband who tells the truth in love.  I do think this talk will be better.  It’s blessed me already.

Summit

 

When you pray this coming week, ask God:

  • that the message He has will accomplish His plans and purposes
  • that the ‘tech’ works (slides and sound)
  • that my delivery not be a distraction to anyone
  • that we all may see God as able and willing to handle the big and the little events of our lives
  • for our safety on the road (8 hours there and 8 hours back)
  • for good care for our cats while we are gone

Trustworthy

 

 

 

Love on grumpy days

May 4, 2014

Maria Love, Marriage , , , , 2 Comments

First he was out of sorts and turned inward.  I’m not sure why.  It was probably a whole lot of little things. Isn’t it always?

Grumpy

When those moods hit, I’ve learned that choosing to show love outwardly is the best response I can offer.  I’m ashamed to admit that I used to show him annoyance.  Like: YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT to be annoyed.  QUIT BEING ANNOYED!

Now that really helps, doesn’t it!  Someone is just going to snap out of a funk on command.

But on Tuesday when I did show outward love, He didn’t respond.  I couldn’t tell that it made any difference. It felt like my words and softness dissolved into the ether.  It reminded me of those times I offer a sincere compliment to certain family members and friends and they don’t acknowledge my words. My words just float away.  (I’ve since learned that ‘Words of Affirmation’ are NOT how they receive/perceive/feel love.)  However, my husband, on the other hand IS a man who feels loved when affirmed with words.  But on Tuesday, he just wasn’t showing it.  He couldn’t.

Here is where God came in (not that He is ever OUT of the picture).  The very next day, Mike felt better (some loose ends got pinned down).  But all of a sudden, the tables were reversed and I felt out of sorts.  Does that surprise you, that 2 selfish sinners can mope around at times?  That we LIKE moping around at times?  No need to pretend – not trying to impress anyone – we’re no different than you!out of sorts cat

 

 

Nonetheless, I think MY funk caught him by surprise.  But here is where his love kicked in.  By the end of the evening as I continued in my ‘blah-ness’, he started radiating soft words, a kind face and understanding gestures, all the while giving me space.  I didn’t sense any expectations, just love.  Despite how comforting it was,  I could not bring myself to communicate that it was helping, that it felt like soft rain on a parched ground.   All I could do was soak it in.

The next day I felt like my old self and could relate in my normal soft way to my husband and best friend.  My down day coming on the heels of his was valuable.   Here is what I learned:

  • Outward shows of love DO make a difference
  • It takes time to be able to let someone know that it has helped
  • Therefore, we should ‘love on’ even when there is no response or visible impact on the other
  • Love is never wasted
  • The energy sacrificed to be soft, especially when someone is hard and tight, is worth the expense
  • People who are cold and prickly are at those times most in need of love
  • Our normal reaction, if we let our selfish nature guide us, is to say: That’s it! I’ve given you a measure of gratuitous love.  If you’re not going to show any appreciation or reaction to my ‘gift’, then I’ll turn it off!
  • I’m so glad God doesn’t treat us that way!  He keeps loving us especially when we don’t deserve it.  (do we ever ‘deserve’ God’s love?)
  • They say the purpose of marriage is to make us more Christ-like.  I’m encouraged that after 34 years of sinning against each other in marriage, Mike and I can occasionally lurch forward in grace-filled moments.

These insights were worth 2 days of the dumps!

Despondant Cat

 

 

The delight-filled duty of joy

April 27, 2014

Maria Celebration, Joy, Nehemiah, Psalm 30, Strength , , , , , 2 Comments

Do you realize that the God who created the entire universe, the one and only God,

  • is a happy God?  

 

If we are Christians, then we serve the Lord of Joy as His happy and glad ambassadors.

Dangerous Duty of Delight

 

John Piper’s book on joy

 

 

 

 

Once you SEE with open eyes that joy is both the fuel and result of biblical Christianity, then you can’t escape this doctrine.  The Bible is peppered with references to our joy, delight, pleasure and happiness in God.  Hebrew has several words like  ashar and simcha and sasson and the significant Greek word for this state of well-being is chara  (as in Acts 8:8 – there was ‘megas chara’ when Philip shared the good news of God who came to Earth as a man, aka the Christ)

Oil of joy

Here is how my morning thoughts have gone this week:

 

 

 

 

  • Focusing on what is permanent is healthier than meditating on circumstances, which in THIS world are always going to be temporary.
  • All the permanent facts of my life are AMAZINGLY and DELIGHTFULLY GOOD and HOPE-FILLED.  Nothing in my permanent future bodes ill!  It’s all going to be blessing.
  • My thoughts about permanent matters affect not only my moods, but how I relate to others.
  • If I am a Christian, then when I was regenerated, the Holy Spirit came into me and permanently, eternally altered my spiritual DNA.  The Holy Spirit is the archetypal agent of Joy.  I have Divine Joy, the 3rd member of the Holy Happy Trinity living with me, in me.  That gives NEW meaning to the assertion that the Joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10)
  • Joy of the Lord - butterfly

 

 

  • Part of my new makeup is gift – already imparted to me forever.  The Holy Spirit – God’s agent of Joy and Holy Happiness,  is both INSIDE me and around me.  Do you remember reading this fact? –  He has girded me with gladness (Psalm 30:11)

With all that God has done FOR us, He also trusts us and is training us to use some resources and tools that He now provides via His immaterial but living Word.  Daily we are to:

  •  prepare our minds for action. (1 Peter 1:13)
  •  PUT ON new clothes (Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.…Col 3:12)
  • Strap on our defensive gear, especially the Belt of Truth –  the outer part of that permanent Holy Belt of Gladness – (Eph 6:14) 

These are some of my prayer-filled thoughts that I engage in each early morning before I face the world.   They sort me out. They encourage me. They help me remember that I am NOT my own but His.  I have a duty each day to be ready to exude, offer, shed, share, sprinkle and spill out that counter-cultural vibe of true joy that comes from the God who is IN me, AROUND me, THROUGH me and definitely FOR me.

Everyone is saddened and heavy-ladened with something.  Everyone needs a lift.  We believers are permanently connected to a universe of grace.  We have NOTHING to lose! So be gratuitous with your grace. Your Father in Heaven will beam.  He will not chide you for wanton waste of living water.  The world is thirsty!

Addiction and joy

Why do you trust Christianity? (aka: Why are you a Christian?)

April 19, 2014

Maria Isaiah, Resurrection, Witnessing , , , , , , 2 Comments

The only reason to be a Christian or to trust Christianity as a worldview is…

..if it’s TRUE!

Truth is a cross

The God of the universe is a ‘reasonable’ God.  That means He created EVERYTHING in a manner that can be attested to rationally (i.e. backed up with reasons or evidence), using His life-generating ‘logical’ Word.

In fact, God says in Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. 

So on this Easter Sunday, I want to pass on what I am learning to articulate, 4 simple facts that even agnostic New Testament scholars and quite a few atheists agree on.  Where disputes and disagreements lie are in the interpretations of the facts.

Being equipped with ‘just the facts, ma’am’, can give you confidence when you find yourself with someone who doesn’t know the truth about Jesus.

Just the Facts, Ma'am

Here is what is past dispute and agreed upon by most reputable scholars, no matter their faith positions:

 

 

 

 

  • Jesus of Nazareth was put to death by crucifixion and laid in a tomb 
  • The tomb was discovered empty 2 days later
  • His disciples believed they had seen the risen, physical Jesus after his death
  • These disciples dramatically changed from cowering, demoralized followers to energized, bold and confident men and women who started a world-wide Christian movement that continues to endure and to grow both stronger and more numerous 2000+ years later

The evidence that backs up these facts comes NOT just from the Gospel accounts and letters written by Jesus’ earliest followers, but also from a-sympathetic historians, (that is to say, from those who didn’t have a dog in the race!)

To give you further confidence when sharing these 4 simple and incontrovertible facts, you only need to know ONE thing more.  Claims are most solid when they can be falsified.

So what would quickly falsify Christianity?

Empty tomb

 

 

 

Produce the body!

That’s all it would take to disprove and shut down the claims of these followers.  And you had better believe it, that the Romans AND the Jewish leaders did all they could to find the dead Galilean.

So as you celebrate and think about the living Savior, be confident, that you can trust the claims of the Bible.  Jesus IS (present tense) the truth, the light and the life.

Jesus' tomb is empty, unlike others

 

Expect opposition if you are in God’s will

April 13, 2014

Maria 1 Samuel, Husbands, Isaiah, James, Opposition, Romans, Soul growth, Trials , , , , , , 2 Comments

Opposition - chess pieces

 

 

 

Saul had just been anointed Israel’s first King as recounted in the book, 1 Samuel, chapter 10.

24 Samuel said to all the people, “Do you see him whom the Lord has chosen? Surely there is no one like him among all the people.” So all the people shouted and said, “ Long live the king!”……
(25b)….  and Samuel sent all the people away, each one to his house. 26 Saul also went to his house at Gibeah; and the valiant men whose hearts God had touched went with him. 27 But certain worthless men said, “How can this one deliver us?” And they despised him and did not bring him any present. But he kept silent.

I am learning that you can be in God’s will and right where He wants you to be AND there will be push back and opposition.  The question then emerges: Why are we surprised?

Here are 3 facts:

1) Trials are intended to grow our patient trust (called steadfastness) in God.  They are necessary for us to be complete.  They are required if we are to be fully equipped, lacking nothing.

  • James 1: 2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

2) God uses every aspect of these trials, aka painful circumstances & suffering, to bring about our maturity, training and equipping.

  • Romans 8:28  And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose

3) Sometimes the secondary cause, the deliverer of the suffering/trial/hardship, is via spiritual forces of wickedness.  God, the first-cause, allows these attacks for His own good and loving reasons.

One of those ‘good’ reasons is so we will KNOW how real and safe God’s Word is.  Last week, I re-learned that lesson.

I had gone about 6 weeks with no parent complaints in this my first year in a new school.

No complaints since

 

 

 

 

I really didn’t see this one coming.  And when the complaint filtered down to me via my principal (I explicitly excluded a disruptive child when I passed out mini marshmallows for good participation in class), I was emotionally drained.  My confidence and enjoyment of the students had been growing since the nadir in January.   But this episode set me back.

My tête-à-tête with my principal happened on a Thursday.  And the following Monday I felt even lower.  It was like I had lost all sense of purpose in life. I seriously considered how much money I could make cleaning homes as an alternative to THIS!!!

My poor husband didn’t know how to react to his normally optimistic, perky wife.  But he defaulted to the most effective use of his time and words.   He prayed fervently most of the evening, unlike Job’s friends.

And praise be to God, the next morning, something that Tullian Tchividjian said in a podcast brought relief.  He was recounting his ‘year from Hell’, his first year as senior pastor of  Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft Lauderdale.  And MY thought was this: “I bet Tullian seriously considered resigning and going to work at Lowe’s to support his family!”   My next thought tumbled out: “Wow!  Then we would have been deprived of his ministry of grace, his books and the Liberate Conferences!  I bet this was spiritual attack by those who were bent on stopping any advance in the Kingdom!”

Spir Warfare - the lion

 

 

 

And just with that thought, I was ‘right-side-up’ again with purpose and renewed resolve NOT to let the enemy defeat me.  It might be that God’s will for me at that school is just for this year.  That decision is in His hands.  But for now, I will fight on, determined to reach out to my students and colleagues and be available to them.  I am learning the absolute reality and security of God’s word.  As my cousin Terry reminded me:

No wpn formed against you

 

 

 

 

 

And thank you, Michael, for your prayers.  As James points out, “the fervent prayers of a man who is in right-standing with God make A LOT of power available!” (James 5:16)

No more taking pride in those bleak ‘Ecclesiastes’ moments!

April 6, 2014

Maria Peace, Psalms, Thinking , , , , , Leave a comment

“The specific quality of faith is extraspective and in that respect is the diametric opposite of works. …….Faith looks to what God does; works have respect to what we are……,” John Murray on Romans

Psalm 131:2 – Instead, I have kept my soul calm and quiet. My soul is content as a weaned child is content in its mother’s arms.

I think I was approaching 50 when I started occasionally detaching and viewing myself and others around me in a kind of surprise.  I’d be at a red-light at a major commercial intersection looking at fellow drivers to the left and right.

drivers all together

 

 

 

 

I would start to wonder, “What is the point of life? ”  Now, don’t get me wrong; I was a Christian then, well-grounded in my Bible.  I’m just sharing how I was feeling.

Ennui animal

Soon I started going further down this ‘pseudo-sophisticated’ and semi-existential path.  It was a kind of mild depression. It had to do with the daily sameness of an ordinary life, thinking that there was nothing exciting to look forward to.  Maybe it was a kind of weariness of life.

I would even indulge in a bit of superiority in my own special ennui, knowing that buying new stuff  or going on a vacation wouldn’t satisfy me, like it would many of my mid-life peers.  I was one of those ‘deep thinkers who needed much more!’

I infected my husband.  He was in a similar boat in a job that brought no joy.  And when I named my feelings, my unoriginal term, ‘Eccleasisates Moment’ (as in ‘all is vanity’ à la King Solomon) resonated with him.

Not much good comes from all that introspection except for the helpful and salubrious-to-the-budget realization that spending money is no antidote to what is immaterial, namely a feeling.

Recently I have been helped by God’s word to me about taking joy in the simple provisions of life.  I have stepped down from indulging in those super-serious but unfruitful thoughts about the meaning of life.  More and more I am content to settle into and accept  what God says is the meaning of life.

If all life is a gift from God, no matter the form it comes in, then I am meant to live moment by moment with the anticipation that little kids have who are about to receive a treat.  God the good Father via His Spirit implanted in me is growing my feelings of love, joy, and peace.  He is giving me practice (through trying circumstances) to develop the habits of restful waiting, of being kind, of offering grace, of faithfulness in work, of  gentle words and responses to others and most of all teaching me how to control my emotional reactions to life.

Peace - Dove

 

 

So just as the Psalmist himself had finally realized, I am finally learning as a young weaned child of God simply to rest my head on Him.  It is enough to know that I belong to the Eternal God as an adopted daughter.  My good Father plans out my daily events and walks by my side to provide the helping hand and steadying I need as I depend on Him and practice keeping pace with Him.  Our Father is very much like Corrie Ten Boom’s dad who quieted her anxiety about an upcoming train trip and her need of a ticket. He assured his young daughter that he would hand her ticket when she was about to board the train.  So too, God – our Father will give us what we need when we need it, not before. I don’t have to know more than what He has told me and shown me today.

And when I start to fret about the seeming ordinariness of life, I try to remember that Jesus celebrated daily life by living it with bickering fishermen and complaining housewives and restless children.  He didn’t hang out too often with the Important People who were doing ‘big stuff’. He liked good food and physical labor and walking over hill and dale and camping out.  He celebrated with the wedding party and accepted people’s gifts.  He was a mensch.  May we be ones too!

Jesus and kids

 

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