Do you love Jesus?

May 3, 2025

Maria Hope, Loving God, Romans 8, Saving Faith , , Leave a comment

We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.) Romans 8:24-25 NLT

I’ve been participating in a long-term study of the Book of Revelation which we’re about to finish. This morning, the accompanying notes had this stunning statement. “Everyone who loves Jesus will be with Him physically in the restored/renovated world” (translated from the Spanish) 

Recognizing that coming reality caused me to turn it around to form a question I could ask people I encounter. “Do you love Jesus?” If they respond in the affirmative, I could follow up with, “If so, how do people around you know that you do love Him?” 

When I’m serving at our local pregnancy center, I often ask the Hispanic clients I serve what their relationship with Jesus is like. They usually respond with something about church and their infrequent attendance.  While church is good, that is not what I want to talk about. This approach, “Do you love Jesus?” goes right to the heart of the issue.

Reading this morning’s verses from Paul’s letter to the Romans, I thought, “If I am waiting patiently for something that I don’t yet have, then I must really believe it is coming!” That means that I must believe in the reality of Jesus’ return for me to wait for it with confident patience. In these turbulent times, a returning King is what I am holding on to.

Cesspool heart or forgiven heart? Maybe, both

March 28, 2024

Maria Confession, Forgiveness, Prayer, Psalm 27, Romans 8, Sin, Zechariah 9 , , , 4 Comments

When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Psalm 27:2 ESV

In Spanish, those underlined words read when ‘flesh-eaters’ assail me.  After hurting Mike with my words, attitude and body language the night before, God used that translation to convict me of the severity of my sin. The setting for that memorable event revolved around an argument while en route in the car to a dinner.

Prior to leaving the house, Mike had hurt my feelings with his words and tone. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was wanting to pay him back, to make him feel bad, to make him know that he was WRONG, about the navigation. Did he know what had hurt me, did I bring it up?  No, instead I chose to make a big deal over a missed exit.

Back to that Bible passage and how Jesus got my attention. I was appalled at what the Lord revealed as the sin beneath the sin. I had to confess my anger and my cruelty, using my journal to tell the truth about all the ugly heart yuk that I could now see. The scary part was the pattern I noted. This was not the first time I had cut away at Mike or others.

Little hurts that I think I maturely or piously overlook under the rubric of ‘love covers all’ apparently don’t go away unless really dealt with. I have a tendency to store them up until they boil over.

What happened this week was preceded by a similar event just two weeks prior.  I recognize that this has been and is a season of stripping away, of dying to self, of seeing myself for who I am. God has led me to books, to podcasts, to scripture, to conversations, coordinating all to focus a message of ‘It’s time we up your growth toward holiness, Maria. Beginning NOW!’

Knowing and acknowledging oneself as one truly is hurts.  And despite the fact that Mike and I talked through the car incident and the earlier hurt and reconciled, I will probably wound and belittle him again.  I don’t have confidence in my resolve to be loving or always act kindly. Nor, to change a practice of hiding the fact that sometimes his words or tone hurt my feelings. I’ve tried just to absorb little stings. I recognize now how harmful to me and others that can be.

About this week’s incidence, Mike and the Lord have forgiven me. That I know. Yet, I’m still left with a garbage dump of putrid rotten past issues that I thought I had forgotten, but my heart hasn’t. Moreover, I still have decades of practiced patterns of thinking and relating. Something has to change. And only God can do that.  

My husband is not the only one whom I’ve wanted to hurt, to get back at. No, it’s how I handle anyone who has deprived me of what I want or think I deserve.    

So, what do you do, when confronted with your sin? Do you hide away and try to cover it? Or, like David, do you agree and confess that not only have you terribly hurt or killed someone, but you’ve sinned against God Almighty?  If you do, God is ready to forgive you and cleanse you.

What practically has the Lord revealed that might help me? One new thought practice that I’m trying to adopt is to shift my view about each person whose value I have tarnished. I am practicing remembering how God sees them.  The fact is, they are all 100 % loved and valued by our Father. Someone once wrote something to the effect of: internally call each Christian brother and sister you meet, ‘this person, perfect in Christ’.  For that is what we all will be one day when we see Jesus face to face.

The other thought process that is rescuing me from beating myself up includes Romans 8:28. My version goes like this:  All that I didn’t receive from someone, was ‘deprived of’ has been and is working for my good, as managed by my wise and loving Father.

The fact is whether someone did or did not mean to hurt me, God has ordained that I should not have what I believed I wanted.  He has his reasons. He is the one that gets to define what is good for me. Not ‘good’ but useful for many reasons, to include my growth in holiness, in humility, and dying to sin. As well as encouraging others struggling just like me.

I’m now seeing that up until this week, I’ve been living as a prisoner of unmet desires coupled with unresolved and unconfessed resentments and hurts. That way of living offers no way out, no happy ending. Satan loves to stir THAT pot with his malevolent suggestions.  Listening to him and our flesh, it’s easy to feed on the self-pity that comes from thinking about how circumstances could have been other, had you gotten what you wanted, whether the respect, the attention, the recognition or the freedom of choice.

This morning I met with an older sister in Christ. One whose empathy and compassion have grown out of her own hurts, disappointments and a life of pain. I felt safe confessing to her my uglies and asked for her advice and prayers.  That felt like the right thing to do. She gave me some practical ways to pray and think.

I have a new calling. I am now claiming and declaring that I am a contented prisoner of Hope.  Won’t you join me in this place with its pleasant boundaries? The future is bright and beautiful.

Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double. Zechariah 9:12 (ESV)

What if I’m praying wrong?

February 29, 2024

Maria God's will, Healing, Holy Spirit, James 5, Matthew 6, Prayer, Romans 8, The Lord's Prayer , , , Leave a comment

…we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us….. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will…..Romans 8:26-27 NLT

Wednesday night at the prayer meeting, knowing that most of the shared prayer requests involve physical healing, surgeries and care for loved ones and friends, Pastor Joe gave us some guidance.  Though God does want us to pray for bodily and mental wellness, we should also add petitions for spiritual healing in each of these cases. He cited James’ teaching on healing prayers that include requests for forgiveness of sins.

He further reminded us how God is working good in and through all painful situations for believers (Romans 8:28) and that the Holy Spirit prays for us.

I couldn’t remember where in Chapter 8 God teaches that the Spirit in us actually intercedes for us, so I looked up those passages this morning.

I felt relieved AND excited to read that the Holy Spirit continually aligns his prayers with God’s will.  And that the Father knows what the Spirit is praying for, on my behalf.

Haven’t you heard teaching that reassures us that if God knows what we need, that implies he’s going to act on it? But what if I’m not sure what I need?  What if all my prayers are just about what I want him to do? As in: just remove this XYZ suffering and make everything get back to normal!

How stunning to know that the Father actually has specific things he wants you and me to pray for. That makes me curious? What does our God want us to pray for?

Maybe Jesus’ model prayer pops into your mind. When asked, our Lord responded to his disciples, with:  Pray like this….. Father, may your name be made famous and honored by all, cause your kingdom to come more and more, and may all of your will be done…..

That’s a good place to start. Beyond that, if we don’t know all of what God wants, the Bible is replete with enough about his purposes that we can incorporate more of those into our prayers.

I want to grow in this way. For example, when I pray for one of Mike’s meetings ‘to go well’, I could add: Cause Mike to remember that you are guiding him always, so he has no need to be nervous.  ….or…… As you protect us on this trip, may we be looking for how you provide just what we need in every circumstance. Remind us to relax into your fatherly, loving and good care. For then we can praise you and share with others how you always come through!

I’m excited to expand how I pray AND I am grateful to God for providing the Holy Spirit as my safety net. Even when I pray ‘selfishly,’ unaware of all I COULD be asking for, the Spirit takes my prayers and aligns them with what the Father would like to have me pray. Thank you, three-in-one God!

Look who is praying for you!

November 9, 2023

Maria 1 Corinthians 6, Holiness, Holy Spirit, House of Prayer, Intercession, Prayer, Romans 8 , , , 3 Comments

The one who searches our hearts knows what the Spirit has in mind. The Spirit intercedes for God’s people the way God wants him to. Romans 8:27 GOD’S WORD® Translation

Somehow, up to now, I’ve glossed over this stunning verse that precedes the famous Romans 8:28. But, the other morning, after reading Oswald Chambers’ devotion for 8 November, I suddenly saw what a multi-faceted gift we actually have received when God placed his Spirit IN us.

Just imagine!  God has a specific will for you and me and his Spirit actually asks the Father for this divine will to be done in us.  Of course, you and I are to pray for ourselves and invite friends to join us in calling upon the Lord. But we have almighty God in us speaking his word over us, his living, irrevocable word.  With confidence, we can rest in the surety that God’s word never fails. His ultimate will for us shall come to pass.

That fact cheers me up greatly.  Why do I worry? If the Spirit is praying for me even without me knowing the specifics, then I will submit with gladness and relief to what the Father desires to be so in my life. I will seek to obey (help me Holy Spirit!) what I explicitly know from Scripture and keep attentive to Holy Spirit nudges.

After cheering us with this on-going spiritual gift, Oswald then reminds us of our part in the Spirit’s work. That is to keep our ‘house of prayer’ clean.  He links Jesus’ anger over ongoing commercial sales in Jerusalem’s temple with Paul’s reminder about the status of our bodies:

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?      1 Corinthians 6:19 (NLT)

Oswald draws his reflection to a close by explaining how to keep this place of prayer clean. We are to tend to our conscious thoughts and mind our conscious actions.

Researchers tell us that the majority of our thought life is taken up with the unconscious. If that is the case, it’s a relief to know I’m only responsible for the thoughts of which I am aware. 

That might feel like a tall task, to take each thought ‘to task’ and judge it. To examine each speculation, determining whether it honors God or shows disrespect. And then to toss what is offensive into the garbage dump of all that is untrue, demeaning, ugly, evil, wrong, defiled and unbecoming one of God’s family members.

But friends, I offer a sweet consolation that motivates me to WANT to clean up my thought life. If by throwing out the junk that clutters my conscious mental world, I can create more room for the Spirit…..or i f I can make his abode a more attractive and pleasing space for him to intercede for me, why wouldn’t I? I want ALL the godly prayers He is willing to offer on my behalf.   And if you are like me, then you too want more of what our triune God has to give.

Let the house cleaning begin!

Do you believe the minority report?

July 22, 2023

Maria Discouragement, Faith, Fear, Healing, Job 34, Mark 5, Pain, Romans 8, Satan, Trusting God, Unbelief , , , , 1 Comment

While He was still speaking, people came from the house of the synagogue official, saying, “Your daughter has died; why bother the Teacher further? But Jesus, overhearing what was being spoken, said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid, only believe. Mark 5:35-36 NASB

You’ve heard it said that God doesn’t waste any of our sufferings. That he works them for our good.  John Piper, pastor and theologian, has angled this principle in a challenging way, encouraging believers themselves NOT to waste the suffering appointed for them.

My daughter-in-law asked me the other day about sleep irregularities, “What do you think the Lord is showing you?”   Useful question, for it reenforced the truth that we should always be praying as did Job, ‘Teach me what I do not see!’ (34:32)

My latest adventure has been into the world of pain.  Specifically, hip and back pain. Today is day 65. (Yes, I’m keeping a record of this journey).

‘Father, this pain seems to have gotten worse in the last week.  I’m afraid I won’t get better!’ I confessed yesterday morning.  Mark gave me the first scriptural exhortation NOT to fear, but instead to trust what Jesus says and does. A little while later, the Holy Spirit asked, ‘Have you truly handed this pain and fear over to the Lord?’ I responded, ‘How can I, when IT keeps coming back each time I move?’ He shot back, ‘That’s a false report. This is only psychological warfare, employed by the enemy. Don’t believe it.’

This morning, my hip hurt even in bed. Once up, coffee at hand, I journaled to encourage myself: ‘The evidence points to ongoing ‘pain’.  But I will not fear.  I will trust you, Jesus.  No weapon formed against me will succeed, neither poor sleep, nor pain, nor any other distraction. Help me!  I bring my total self to you, Father, Lord, Spirit, Holy Three, worthy of my full attention.  I know you are working this pain for my good, as you do with all affliction and suffering.’

What next came to mind stunned me. A resolve, a conviction. I’m not going to believe the ‘Minority Report’ of:

  • My flesh
  • The world, or….
  • Satan

Instead, I am going to believe the ‘Majority Report’ of:

  1. 66 Biblical writers
  2. The Holy Spirit
  3. Jesus
  4. Father God
  5. All the angels in heaven
  6. the ‘Crowd of Witnesses’ who have gone on before me
  7. Phil and Adrienne, my 2 physical therapists.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but this day, I will look to the Lord.

How to live if you are an Afghan Christian

August 24, 2021

Maria Acts 20, Fear, Matthew 26, Persecution, Psalm 31, Romans 8 , , Leave a comment

As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” Romans 8:36 NIV

Followers of Christ in Afghanistan these days live with terror. All Afghanis must feel threatened, especially those who desperately want to flee Kabul.  But to be Christian in Afghanistan these days is to have a bulls-eye painted on your back with neon colors. As in other countries where believers are persecuted, neighbors know just who has accepted Christ and left the majority religious community, whether Islamic, Buddhist or Hindu.

Each morning as I read reports from Open Doors or hear the news, I try to imagine how I would feel. Just how I would deal with the pressure of impending death at the hands of the Taliban? How I would live with the fear that comes simply from being Christian in Afghanistan?

You’d have to live as though you were already dead!

That’s the only way I can think to reduce the tension, live with the stress.  Whether actual death comes today or tomorrow or next week, soon you’ll be with Jesus.  With that mindset, that you’re as good as dead, you’d have nothing to lose by helping other Christians, of spending yourself for neighbors, of even telling your executioners about Jesus.

We Christians SAY we believe that God sovereignly plans our birth and our death and everything in between, but I can’t say that I live that way, functionally.  I know I hold ‘my plans’ too tightly.

This morning I lingered over Psalm 31.  Verse 15 fit my reflections about the fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban.  “My times are in your hands…” NIV. I’ve read that the Hebrew word for ‘times’ can also refer to events or seasons.

Jesus knew this dual reality.  He considered himself dead to the world, and alive to his father.  How else can we explain his calm warmth during that last supper, the very night he was betrayed? Psalm 31: 5 proclaims, “Into your hands I commit my spirit” NIV.  Jesus gasped out these very words from the cross (Luke 23:46). And Stephen who was martyred likewise committed his spirit to Jesus.

I’m asking myself, “Maria, how would your life change if you gave back each day to the Lord, leaving it for him to do what he has planned.  Paul mentions, ‘not counting his life dear’ (Acts 20:24).

I’m not ‘there’ yet.  But thinking about the persecuted church, and especially Afghani brothers and sisters right now, challenges me.  And that is good.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. Matthew 16:25 NLT

How God used a Daddy Longlegs

August 5, 2021

Maria Creation, Ecclesiastes 3, Romans 8, Sin , , 3 Comments

Creation itself will also be set free from the bondage of decay, into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. Romans 8:21 Berean Study Bible

Each morning during the summer I like to sit out on the back patio to watch the birds, study the day’s Bible passages, pray, journal and read a bit in a theology book.  Right now, I’m savoring my way through John Piper’s Providence.

I love hearing and glancing up at the birds as I soak up early morning beauty. I don’t spend a lot of time watching their playful antics at our birdfeeder. I simply appreciate sharing the morning hour with them. But this morning at one point, not a bird, but an insect caught my attention and I became fixated.  A struggling Daddy Longlegs spider was nursing one of her eight legs which didn’t seem to working right.  She was trying to move closer to one of our plants, but kept falling over and resting.  Had she suffered a stroke, or broken a leg? Was she old? I couldn’t move my eyes off of her persevering move-and-rest struggle.

My eyes suddenly filled with tears.  Startled, I asked myself ‘What is going on?’ I’m not often moved to tears. But when something goes right to my heart, tears signal a deep feeling that I dare not ignore.

The Holy Spirit wordlessly whispered and I journaled: ‘Don’t you want to live in a world where no one and not a single living thing dies?  Where insects, birds, animals, flowers, trees, people flourish forever?’  Of course, I do.  I thought of the local pregnancy resource center where I volunteer.  Each of our appointments with gals who find themselves pregnant give us an opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus Christ.  I feel nervous sometimes and pray for a way to gently lead a gal into a conversation.  But this morning, I thought: ‘Why am I afraid to ask people that very question prompted by observing a handicapped spider? Afterall, God has wired all of his image bearers to protest death.

Don’t we struggle to let go of our beloved, aging pets?  Why do we shrink back from the ravages of disease or even old age in those whom we love?  Because it’s not supposed to be this way. We know that.  Even secularists feel this. 

Think about what drives the ‘health space’ here in America, where one can find fitness training programs, multitudes of supplements to buy and eating plans promoted with religious fervor. Engineers playing with artificial intelligence also come to mind. I don’t know a lot, but I hear enough about well-financed research projects to extend human life span, or clone versions of one self. None of this is new.  Weren’t we taught in our history classes that Ponce de Leon explored the new world, partly motivated to locate a fountain of youth?

Back to Mr. or Mrs. Daddy Longlegs who by the way, per Wikipedia live longer than I would have imagined such a fragile being could endure, 1 year for males and up to 3 years for females.  What brought me to tears is what the writer of Ecclesiastes 3:11 penned, ‘He has planted eternity in the human heart’ (NLT)

I pray that the next time someone brings up an aging and infirm person or beloved pet or even if someone laments the harm done to trees and baby seals, I pray that I gently ask them my Holy Spirit-inspired question:

  • Don’t you want to live in a world where no one nor any living thing dies? Yes? Then let me tell you how. That kind of world depends on one person, whose name is Jesus.

Friends, we have good news of a coming new and forever creation, where all will be made beautiful and meant to last. It’ll be better than Eden because we won’t be able to harm anyone or anything.  Finally freed from our sin because of Jesus, we will joyfully enjoy God, one another and the rest of the created world.

All those ‘shoulds’!!!

July 8, 2021

Maria Condemnation, Conviction, Holy Spirit, Romans 8 , , , , Leave a comment

July 6, 2021

Maria Condemnation, Conviction, Holy Spirit, Romans 8 Church family, Introversion, One-anothering, shoulds and oughts Leave a comment [Edit]

The mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6 (Berean Study Bible)

I’ve been wrestling with how to distinguish between condemnation from Satan and conviction by the Holy Spirit.  I find myself often thinking, ‘I SHOULD be doing more with people, especially those at church’.  Why am I bothered?  Because when I think about all those people I ‘should’ connect with, I feel depressed.  I just don’t know how to THINK about all these ‘shoulds’. And they continue to hammer me.

I’m an introvert and I’m aging, and I no longer want to gather with people as frequently as I did as when our boys were little. 

Our life is so different from when I was a busy mom, teaching French, serving with Bible Study Fellowship, and teaching adult Sunday School. On top of those commitments, we still enjoyed getting together with church family for mid-week potlucks, weekend retreats, picnics, and even a weekly small group.

Other engagements also dotted our calendars. Mike sang with a professional choral group whose performances I would attend. We occasionally took in other concerts as a family.  Finally, during many years of my dad’s later years, we would spend Sunday evenings enjoying dinner at his place.

But these days, I prefer quiet evenings at home, just with Mike. When he asks “Do we have anything going on this weekend?” and I answer with a cheery NO, I share his delight.

So, why am I telling you all this?  Because I feel ‘wrong’, condemned. Thoughts like: ‘you’re supposed to be ‘one-anothering’ those in your church family’. Multiple ‘shoulds’ assail me. Almost daily.

In my defense, I do connect throughout the week with lots of people, mostly through emails and zoom calls. I also volunteer in two different places.  This fixed amount of extroverting does stimulate me. But my calling, what I DELIGHT in doing, is writing and speaking other languages. They, I absolutely look forward to.

So, how have I handled these voices that steadily announce what I ‘should’ be doing, and how selfish I am?

I’ve been praying, reading scripture, journaling, talking with Mike and my friend Joyce and then writing some more, as I wade toward clarity.

Joyce offered this thought, ‘We should distinguish between what we want to do in our day that pleases us and the activities that have eternal value.’

Do dinner prep and sharing with Mike have eternal value?  Do keeping the house clean and kitchen stocked have eternal value? Do reading and thinking have eternal value?  Do they justify pulling in a bit more?

God has been letting me churn, prayerfully ‘stew’.  But not alone. That other helper, the Spirit of Truth, has been guiding me, too. Mostly through scripture.  For example, this statement of fact penned by Paul brought me relief a few days ago:

There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 (NLT)

Satan condemns and the Spirit convicts.

Despite feeling reassured for that particular day, Yet, once again, I fell back into uncertainty when the calendar turned over. 

Then Tuesday morning, I saw something else in Romans 8.  That verse about having the mindset of the Spirit. 

I looked up the Greek in my phone app Blue Letter Bible.  Seeing the grammatical form of ‘of’ excited me.  It’s genitive and it expresses possession!

I scribbled a re-write: …the mind belonging (of) to the Spirit!

I continued, connecting it with the rest of the verse:

Romans 8:6b….the mind belonging to the Spirit is life-giving and peace-filled.

I jotted down two synonyms for life offered by the Blue Letter Bible: vigor, energy, both with a sense of abundance. 

My interpretative conclusion THIS day is:

Since I belong to the Spirit (and soak in God’s word daily), He guides me, he leads me toward what gives life, bringing energy and what keeps me filled with Jesus’ peace.  When I notice an idea that is anti-life, i.e., draining or something that steals my peace and starts me angsting, that is the tip-off to ‘taking THAT thought captive to Christ’ and rejecting it.

Of course, I intend to keep praying and seeking direction in God’s word, as well as asking for wisdom from select mature Christian friends. As I keep Mike in the loop in this process, I am trusting the Lord to corral me if I tend to go off track.

Oh, Father, keep me teachable and don’t withhold your wisdom from me!

Incoming artillery barrage from Satan: You’re not doing enough!

June 24, 2021

Maria Guilt, Holy Spirit, Joy, Philippians 2, Psalm 116, Romans 8, Satan, Shame, Spiritual Warfare , , , , , Leave a comment

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set you free. Romans 8:1-2 Berean Study Bible

Oh, the places we have lived and the friends we have made.  England, Virginia and North Carolina enriched us the most. We now live in Alabama. My former school colleagues, church friends, neighbors with whom I WANT to stay in contact now number in the 20s, I would imagine.  These are people for whom I still pray and feel close, but in different degrees. Deciding who is in my ‘inner circle’ has been challenging.  I have limited emotional energy and time to invest. I imagine that’s the same for you.

Add to those different groups of friends from our past, God has planted us in yet another community with new neighbors, church friends and colleagues at Mike’s office.

How have I organized those in whom I invest? There’s my mother-in-law with whom I spend 30 minutes twice weekly on a Zoom call, keeping up with her. Two grandkids I occasionally (depending on their schedules) teach either French or Spanish by Zoom. Then there are two close friends I’ve chosen to invest in. With one gal, I connect daily through Voxer, an asynchronous audio messaging platform.  My other regular friend and I leave lengthy video messages for each other once a week, using Marco Polo. They are the gals who are closest to my heart. 

Yet, I feel overwhelmed with how to ‘handle’ other friends. ‘Shoulds’ distract me and cause me guilt:  

  • I need to schedule a catch-up call with Jane
  • We should reach out to neighbors and get to know them over a meal
  • Martha is a young mom at church with whom I click, I should schedule a walk and talk.
  • I haven’t talked with my sister-in-law in a while; I should find a time soon to connect.

So, what’s the problem?  There is not enough time to schedule in all these people, given my other responsibilities. Plus, I feel guilty in admitting that these ‘shoulds’ feel like a burden.  The background music in my mind keeps playing the same-ole refrain, “Something is wrong with me that I don’t want to stay in touch with everyone; that’s selfish!”

This morning I woke up heavy with, “I don’t do enough to stay connected to people, past and present.”

Journaling my raw thoughts during my morning time with Jesus and my Bible always help me process what I’m feeling and thinking. The Holy Spirit always helps me sort through the yuk and bring me out into the light.

Here’s how once again, he came to my rescue. 

With relief, I wrote down exactly how I was feeling condemned and distracted.  Having finished reading the appointed scriptures for the day, I then opened up my Oswald Chambers app on my phone. The first whiff of freedom emerged. ‘Don’t worry anymore about yourself….’

Copying Oswald’s exhortation, I then wrote this conclusion: ‘Every time I start to think I’m not enough, recognize that I am focused on the wrong issue. Leave it alone and hop over to the most important issue: ‘Jesus, YOU did enough for me.  I am enough IN you.’

That triggered this idea: ‘What if I focused and meditated on your ‘enufness’, Jesus? Oh! Didn’t I recently read something about being sprung from prison?  Yes!  Here it is, from yesterday’s scripture:  Psalm 116:16 You threw open my prison door.

That truth set me to considering a daring suggestion that seemed to spring up from inside.  ‘What if I DIDN’T initiate contacts with my other old friends and new acquaintances here?  What if I just trusted the Holy Spirit to lead people to contact me if they want to catch up?  Could I DARE give that a try?  That would feel SO freeing!

But what about all the exhortations to ‘one another’ and love brothers and neighbors?’

God encouraged me by bringing Philippians 2:13 to mind. You know that statement Paul makes where he writes that it is God himself who gives us the desire to work for his good pleasure.

I looked up ‘desire’ in the Greek.  Glancing down at the various meanings, I dared to hope that this was the answer.  Desire can also be expressed as:

  • being gladly inclined toward something
  • taking delight and pleasure in doing XYZ

With mounting energy, I asked, ‘What excites me?’ I didn’t have to think.  The answer flooded my heart:

  • Writing! Having time each day to write energizes me.
  • Learning Spanish fills me with joy

You know, that line in Philippians clearly teaches that it is God who plants desires in us that conform to his purposes and good pleasure. ‘Could it be that simple? To follow my God-given desires, especially this urge to write?  Is my craft, my calling to express myself beautifully in order to connect and encourage others? Is that why the Holy Spirit daily brings me fresh ideas that link his word with my life?

And the Spanish, well that’s clear. The absolute joy and pleasure of growing more proficient. For years, I taught French to adolescents. Now, I get to expand my areas of fluency, giving me entrée into a different world with fascinating people. Describing my language acquisition process and what I feel inside as a second-language learner thrills me.’

I put my pen down and closed my journal to get ready for my exercise class. Throughout the day, I have been letting these ideas sink in.  I think I’m on the right track, for not even three weeks ago one of my friends reminded me that the Holy Spirit corrects with gentleness.  He doesn’t condemn.

More than just a solution to ‘what do I do with all the people from my past’, God confirmed what he has called me to do.  Satan apparently likes to suck away our joy and burden us with duties that God maybe hasn’t appointed. I’m quicker to recognize Satan’s ploys, that shame-producing condemnation together with distracting thoughts.

Return to your rest, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you! Psalm 116:7 Berean Study Bible.

I’ll let you know what happens, as I leave to the Lord my other friends and acquaintances. I believe I can trust him to let me know when I should engage.

Why is life so hard?

April 8, 2021

Maria courage, John 16, Psalm 11, Purification, Romans 8, Spiritual Warfare, suffering , , 1 Comment

Why are we surprised by hard things, by suffering? How many times have I thought, “If we can just sell the house!  Maybe when God heals Mike! Once he finds a new job!  Once I get to leave this job!”  But then, on the other side, new situations await.

I just want to be real with myself.  Life is hard because:

  • The world is broken due to sin
  • We have an evil enemy
  • God puts His family members through difficult times to burn away all that is impure, unholy and not of Him.

I am now letting it sink in that there is always another issue, a problem, a crisis, a sticky relationship.  Christianity is honest about life on Earth 1.0 but God doesn’t just leave us with truth, He reassures us that He has overcome the world and that His Spirit is with us to help us.  Remember, too, that suffering is not for naught. May we keep Romans 8:28 front and center.

I selected these two reflections from the past week, a series of days that ‘felt’ hard. But looking back, they were no more challenging and frustrating and painful than most weeks.

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Necessity teaches the naked woman to spin. Danish Proverb

God’s truth has many sources.

Roberto, a fellow language learner and friend, works on his English as I do with Spanish. But there’s a difference. Yesterday, I complimented him on his progress. He sadly demurred, adding: “I don’t need English here!”

“What do you mean?”  Listening, I realized the blessing of necessity. I volunteer weekly at the local pregnancy center. Growing numbers of Hispanic gals seek counsel and assistance. My intermediate Spanish makes a difference.  This week I spoke Spanish in all three appointments, delighting me. And I long for improvement.

Years ago, a school hired me to teach logic.  Me, a French teacher. I had never heard of logic as a subject, so I Googled it.  You can imagine how motivating a classroom of 8th-graders can be when you have to teach.  Slowly, day by day, I learned about logic and loved it.

If God is calling you to do a difficult ‘something’, about which you know nothing, thank Him!  A new skill is His gift to you.

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The LORD tests the righteous Psalm 11:5 ESV

Let’s admit it, life is very hard. 

My friend Lisa has a son undergoing a painful life experience. Her favorite promise from Jesus is: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV

Today’s assurance from God is that He is going to add more pressure to the righteous, and that on top of the normal suffering on Earth 1.0. What?  Yes, as a good and wise Father, He is training us to resemble the Family. Only by treating us like precious metal needing to be rid of impurities, can we be made pure.  High temperatures!

The rest of the psalm provides two contrasts. How He reacts to the wicked is the first. He hates them!  And second, those He loves (another name for those being tested) will see His face.

Seeing God’s face is Hebrew for finding favor with God! So, take heart.

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