“What a cacophony of negative thoughts! Just how many of YOU ALL are there running through my head?”

June 6, 2024

Maria God's gifts, Meditation, Prayer, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving, Thinking , , , , 1 Comment

Something I read in Oswald Chambers the other morning (4 June) struck a chord.  “Am I simply repeating what God says, or am I learning to truly hear him and then to respond after I have heard what he says.”  What the Holy Spirit did with his words is pull back the curtain to show me how many fleeting, but negative notions circulate daily in my mind.  His revelation to me doesn’t directly connect with Oswald’s quote, but it’s what Jesus directed me to examine.

Holy cow!  I really do look at or evaluate my life as a glass half empty. You wouldn’t pick that up about me, for I present as an upbeat, positive encouraging gal. Even my husband registered surprise when I told him. 

Two of these running, disparaging and negative ‘tapes’ that I choose to play over and over are: 

  • We don’t have as many friends as most people…. or

We should do more with friends…. or Are we engaging enough with friends?

  • We don’t grandparent as well as others…. or What can we do to stay more in touch with our grandkids…. or What plans can we make right now to be with our grandkids?

With that God-directed realization of bad thinking, I asked Jesus’ forgiveness for declaring (even if just in my mind) and meditating on what is false, what is not true.

In reality, if I’m being objective, Mike and I actually DO have lots of friends and stay in contact with them. In fact we are traveling to England this summer specifically to see and be with friends.  And as far as our 6 grandchildren who don’t live near us, we DO see them when we can.  We DO keep in touch with them. We DO pray for them and let them know that.

What do you do when you find yourself consistently ruminating on negative and probably false thoughts? How do you escape? Because if we don’t do anything, we simply live in that dark place.

As I reflected on Oswald’s words, especially the second half “… am I learning to truly hear him and then to respond after I have heard what he says?”, the idea to thank Jesus for the friends and grandkids he has given us struck me.

Sitting out on our back patio, with the crowded birdfeeder busy with God’s hungry creation, birds and squirrels, I started a stream of thanksgiving. It was easy.  Immediately I felt lighter and my mood lifted.

That was a lightbulb moment, for sure.  All I had to do was switch the perspective. Actually, say the opposite. I found it easy to add on numerous other gifts the Lord has offered me.  

Here’s another example. Sometimes I feel squeezed and downhearted thinking about all the tasks I have self-assigned. So, I started thanking God for the time he has given me as well as other blessings:

I’m retired. I have the freedom to plan my days. I GET to grocery shop weekday mornings.  I GET to clean house with Mike on a weekday, instead of weekends. I GET to maintain contact with the many friends I have.  I GET to practice my languages and meet new people.

Over the past 3 days, I have turned my resolution to ‘take every thought captive’ into a prayer. “Father, help me to NOTICE persistent negative thought patterns so I can declare the exact opposite and turn them into thanksgivings.”

So far, this is working.  At the gym this morning, I caught myself stewing about ‘grandkids’.  And by grace, I was able to immediately turn that around and thank God FOR these precious children.

I know it’s going to take some time and much practice to create new grooves in my brain. But it’s never too late. And the immediate relief I get from thanking our good Father is reward enough for now.

What will they say about you?  What kind of legacy are you leaving?

May 30, 2024

Maria Answers to Prayer, Praise, Prayer, Psalm 71, Refuge, Uncategorized , , 1 Comment

I have become a marvel to many…..Psalm 71:7 NASB

If today you heard a man reflect on his life using those words, to what kind of explanation would your mind go? Would you conclude that he had built a successful company?  Or that he was serving in an influential position in the government or educational sphere? Might he have lots of kids and grandkids who are adulting well?

Those are all laudable accomplishments. Yet, what the psalmist describes in this scripture have only secondarily to do with him and his actions. Instead, he highlights the numerous jams he’s been throughout his life.

In verse 3, he refers to how often he has needed to flee to God’s refuge for relief and protection:

  Be a rock of refuge for me, where I can always go. (CSB)

The psalm is chock-full of praises to the Lord after his rescues. 

Describing himself as being almost a gray-haired one, he reflects on the numerous times he has called on God and depended on the Mighty One’s faithfulness in coming through.  He also enumerates current-day dangers and checks off on his fingers the enemies he has. 

Studying this kind of personal journal entry, I see a man who keeps getting knocked down, time and time again.  And one who bounces back and heals, sheltered by his Lord and with an even more compelling testimony.

From his words, I sense that his friends and family (and maybe his enemies, too) would register surprise as successive attacks and setbacks plague him.

You know people like that, right? Those who seem to have MORE than their fair share of problems, situations and disappointments?

Those watching our psalmist, just what is it that causes them to marvel?

How he never stops depending on the Lord, never ceases calling out to him. In the midst of his enemies, before he sees evidence of rescue, he declares in advance God’s ready hiding place. He then uses God’s means of protection, rejoices over the Lord’s faithfulness, following up with public praises to his God.

He’s like a mini- Job, but without demanding an explanation from God for his suffering. I think THIS is what creates amazement in all who know him. 

My husband Mike reminds me of this psalmist. As he looks back on his life, he would be the first to acknowledge the wounds, setbacks, broken dreams and other disappointments he has suffered in his life. Yet, he dependably looks to God for his help. Over and over he affirms our God’s goodness and his constancy of character.

Today is his 67th birthday. What makes his life a marvel is this faithfulness to depend on and honor God. As much as I can point to his excellence as an engineer, voice-over artist, musician, and family man, it his resilient dependence and public pointing us to God that I want to highlight. Even when he is attacked with bouts of discouragement and fear, he hies it back to God’s stronghold and points to his goodness after the attacks have passed.

Mike, thank you for your example.  May you continue to praise our triune God and not stop until you have trained up our grandkids and their future children to love the Lord and depend on Him!

From Helicopter Parent to Helicopter Wife

May 2, 2024

Maria Answers to Prayer, Holy Spirit, Marriage, Parenting, Prayer, Proverbs 3 , , , , , , Leave a comment

From Helicopter Parent to Helicopter Wife

Yes, I admit, I was one of those moms.  Even before the term grew into a household word, I would try to remove difficulties from my boys’ lives. If I’m honest, I was more motivated to make their lives easier for my sake. I don’t like people around me to be unhappy. 

That’s pretty naïve, given that in this life, we are guaranteed afflictions. Unfortunately, I grew up with a father who modeled trying to keep everyone happy. Peace at any cost.

For most of our sons’ growing up years, I was not yet a biblical Christian. Nor had I even heard of the caterpillar-cocoon-butterfly analogy. We’ve all probably heard the story of how someone with good intentions trying to ease the struggle of the emerging butterfly actually doomed this beautiful creature to an early death by helping her to emerge from her cocoon.

One time when our oldest son was in 8th grade, he felt his English teacher wasn’t treating him fairly. We called for a meeting with the teacher so Graham could air his grievances. In hindsight we should have encouraged him first to seek a solution himself with the man.

To my shame, I even had my husband write one of Graham’s college professors his freshman year when he earned a C that first fall semester.

This same tendency to want to ‘magic away’ our sons’ problems wasn’t confined to just them. Rather, I have brought that pattern into my marriage.

For years, just because I desired a ‘happy husband’, I’ve tried to fix things for my husband without him asking for my assistance. This is called ‘mothering’ as I recently read.  Mothering one’s children is appropriate (though not in those ways I tried to shield Graham and Wes from good growth opportunities).  However, treating an adult man (and especially my husband) that way is demeaning and dishonoring.

I’m learning now how I’ve made an idol of a ‘pleasant life’.  I’ve been slow to realize that people’s feelings are their responsibility and that upsets and problems can’t be avoided. On the contrary, difficulties provide opportunities for us to grow. Healthy families support one another during trials, offering empathetic love.

In addition, Christian parents and spouses have been given the gift of calling upon Jesus on behalf of the families.  I’m beginning to learn how when we have to struggle with the Lord’s help through a situation, we learn something more about God.  So, why would I want to stand in the way of that kind of blessing for family or friends?

Back to our kids, I do see that despite trying inappropriately to spare Graham from the reality of a mediocre college grade, God guided us to allow him to work alone through a crisis with the Lord.  After that first semester of college, Graham felt dissatisfied with James Madison University and the traditional college track. We allowed him to apply over Christmas to Berklee College of Music. The problem arose when he got accepted and he had to make the decision what to do, whether to stay at JMU after this first year or move to Boston.

As he had been growing as a Christian, we let him struggle with God and pray through the decision.  Wrestle he did, going back and forth in whether he should stay or go for about a month.  One morning, all of a sudden, as he explains it, he awoke feeling he should stay at JMU and not leave. He let that decision sit and as it persisted into the next day and beyond days, he realized that the Lord had indeed led him to an answer. And all through prayer.

Looking back, I see the benefit of treating him as an adult and allowing him to work it out with God. Seeing the Lord actually guide him in a decision about real life, a crisis, changed his faith from theoretical to real.

I know he would say that this was the right decision because once he decided to stay, he threw himself into college life. He formed a band with two friends and met Shay, his wife of 17 ½ years.

Recently, Jesus has been pointing me to how I have perhaps NOT been as good a wife to my husband as I should. For my own sake, I have attempted to create, reframe or control events just to avoid having to deal with the normal frustrations Mike has felt at various times.

It’s not like I don’t have a good example of a mature spouse who trusts the Lord and treats others as he would like to be treated.  He doesn’t try to solve ‘my problems’. He only weighs in when I ask for his advice. 

I welcome the opportunity to make some changes, especially when directed by the Holy Spirit!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. Proverbs 3:5-7 NIV

Do you believe in what is invisible?

April 18, 2024

Maria Belief, John 20, Prayer, Satan, Spiritual Warfare, Unbelief , , , , , 1 Comment

Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.” John 20:29 NLT

Saturday, while walking along the greenway trail behind our house, I stopped to chat with a couple who own the breed of dog I would choose, were I ever to be a dog owner. (We are cat lovers!) This husband and wife exercise their pair of miniature Australian sheepdogs every day, throwing frisbees wide and far for them to chase. 

To control one of her dogs, the ‘mom’ carries a whistle that only dogs and other animals can pick up. It emits a soundwave at a frequency that humans can’t detect. Her disobedient dog doesn’t like it and immediately stops chasing the squirrel or other critter that tempt him to bound away.

I have to take this woman’s word that the whistle really produces a sound. I can’t hear it, but apparently it is reality.  Just like I can’t see other phenomena that truly exist. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t real.  I searched for another example to share with you.  

Apparently, photographers have found a way to capture the fluorescent radiance of flowers using a technique called UVIVF (ultraviolet-induced visible fluorescence) photography. The naked eye can’t catch this intrinsic quality, but the photos I saw on line showed a beautiful glow around blossom.

Logically, if we take as a given the things in nature that we can’t detect with our human senses, then would it not follow that a God who is invisible to us could also exist? Especially, since there are eye-witness accounts?

I, as a believer, trust God and accept the scriptures as true. Yet, I still functionally act as an unbeliever in one major way.  Even though Jesus told his disciples that he would be with them always, I go about the majority of my day not talking to Jesus as though he were present. Which he is.

I’m like many of the clients I meet at our local choose life pregnancy center. A fair number identify themselves Christians. But they don’t accept that Jesus IS alive and present. Since they don’t feel him, or see him, it’s as though he isn’t here. And that makes it easy to ignore him.

I don’t want ever to ignore Jesus.  So, I make a point of talking out loud to him during my quiet time. I sit at the dining room table and address the Lord sitting across from me.  I chat with him, thanking him, praising him and committing my cares and those of others to him for the day. I also ask his opinion about things that are bothering me.

But sometimes that is the only time of day, I talk to him. I’m trying to change. But Satan seems to interpose little obstacles that hinder my engaging with the living Son of God. This morning, during my quiet time, I found myself putting off talking to him.

After reading and meditating on the passages for today, I wanted to move on and read a couple of devotionals, instead of praying first.  I said to myself, ‘I’ll read Oswald Chambers and John Piper to see what they have to say this morning. Then I’ll talk to Jesus.”  Clearly, I preferred reading what some men had to say about Jesus rather than hearing from the living Lord right there in my dining room.

By grace, I realized that I was stalling, and with the Lord present!  That felt embarrassing. What could be more important than being together, face to face with our Father, our Brother and the Holy Spirit, the triune almighty and holy God?

If you’re like me, then we need to accept as fact that we’ll encounter some kind of resistance, maybe even every day.  Proof positive, that Satan doesn’t want us relying on the presence of God, of talking to him and hearing from him.   Much ‘safer’ if we just discuss the Lord, as someone from the past. Even as we pay lip service to the reality of the living Jesus.

What can we do? Wearing a rubber band or bracelet on your wrist might be a tool, or setting a timer to ping every 30 minutes as a reminder. What I’m choosing to do is use my little old-school 4×6 spiral notebook. I look at it frequently throughout my day.  This morning I added another ‘to do’:

“Talk to you, Jesus, throughout the day.” 

My new heart – 10 days old 

April 5, 2024

Maria Forgiveness, Heart, Matthew 15, Prayer, Proverbs 4, Repentance , , , , , 1 Comment

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.Proverbs 4:23 NLT

It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth. Matthew 15:11 NLT

In my last blog, I wrote about how Jesus revealed the life-long accumulation of poison I had let fester in my heart. Two consecutive outpourings of disproportionate and ugly words aimed at my poor husband caused me to admit that I had a problem about which I knew very little.

God is good and loving when he gently makes us confront reality. Last week was like being deliberately carried to the doctor to receive a diagnosis I had not been expecting and squirmed when forced to face. But I left that ‘office appointment’ with a recipe for health and lots of hope.

What has stayed with me since then is the certainty that through confession to both Jesus and Mike and receiving (and believing) their forgiveness, I have been given a brand-new and clean heart.  The old is gone and the new one has replaced it. That fact has 2 serious implications.

One, since all the accumulated ‘ungrieved losses and unresolved disappointments’ (Chris Cook’s words from his latest book Healing what you can’t Erase), regrets, unmet expectations, resentments, shaming events, and years of boasting were lifted from Maria and removed forever, I need not nor dare not revisit them when I’m tempted to seek self-pity.

Secondly and more importantly is the fact that I have a brand-new, pure and clean heart. I have been VERY conscious of that fact, not wanting to spoil my new heart. But I know that I am still a sinner, albeit a redeemed and forgiven one. And until I am reunited with Jesus I will stumble again and again, needing to acknowledge, lament, repent and receive cleansing pardon.

I have been more careful of my heart in these last ten days. As I’m finishing up Dallas Willard’s book A Life without Lack, I’m adopting some of his recommended practices to assist me.  At night and in the morning, I am trying out a new routine of asking Jesus straight out: What troubles you about me and how I lived this day? Where did I boast or judge others? Where did I forget that you were with me? Where did I wrap myself up in Maria’s interests and neglected what you wanted me to do?

I don’t want to get lazy and drift into old habits. New regimens take energy and time until they are more automatic.

This checking in with Jesus twice a day is how I want to keep my heart clean.

The places during the day where I have allowed some yuk to enter my heart can be confessed and forgiven. Once removed from my heart creates a better probability that what comes OUT of my mouth won’t be ugly.

Even though Jesus taught that it’s not what goes into our mouths that defile us, I know for a fact, that what goes into my mind CAN plant poisonous seeds in that place I’m commanded to guard. In a short time, ugly plants will sprout and hurt someone else.

This ‘agricultural’ work, a daily discipline, is growing into a burden-relieving joy. Maybe I can become a master gardener one of these days!

Cesspool heart or forgiven heart? Maybe, both

March 28, 2024

Maria Confession, Forgiveness, Prayer, Psalm 27, Romans 8, Sin, Zechariah 9 , , , 4 Comments

When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Psalm 27:2 ESV

In Spanish, those underlined words read when ‘flesh-eaters’ assail me.  After hurting Mike with my words, attitude and body language the night before, God used that translation to convict me of the severity of my sin. The setting for that memorable event revolved around an argument while en route in the car to a dinner.

Prior to leaving the house, Mike had hurt my feelings with his words and tone. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was wanting to pay him back, to make him feel bad, to make him know that he was WRONG, about the navigation. Did he know what had hurt me, did I bring it up?  No, instead I chose to make a big deal over a missed exit.

Back to that Bible passage and how Jesus got my attention. I was appalled at what the Lord revealed as the sin beneath the sin. I had to confess my anger and my cruelty, using my journal to tell the truth about all the ugly heart yuk that I could now see. The scary part was the pattern I noted. This was not the first time I had cut away at Mike or others.

Little hurts that I think I maturely or piously overlook under the rubric of ‘love covers all’ apparently don’t go away unless really dealt with. I have a tendency to store them up until they boil over.

What happened this week was preceded by a similar event just two weeks prior.  I recognize that this has been and is a season of stripping away, of dying to self, of seeing myself for who I am. God has led me to books, to podcasts, to scripture, to conversations, coordinating all to focus a message of ‘It’s time we up your growth toward holiness, Maria. Beginning NOW!’

Knowing and acknowledging oneself as one truly is hurts.  And despite the fact that Mike and I talked through the car incident and the earlier hurt and reconciled, I will probably wound and belittle him again.  I don’t have confidence in my resolve to be loving or always act kindly. Nor, to change a practice of hiding the fact that sometimes his words or tone hurt my feelings. I’ve tried just to absorb little stings. I recognize now how harmful to me and others that can be.

About this week’s incidence, Mike and the Lord have forgiven me. That I know. Yet, I’m still left with a garbage dump of putrid rotten past issues that I thought I had forgotten, but my heart hasn’t. Moreover, I still have decades of practiced patterns of thinking and relating. Something has to change. And only God can do that.  

My husband is not the only one whom I’ve wanted to hurt, to get back at. No, it’s how I handle anyone who has deprived me of what I want or think I deserve.    

So, what do you do, when confronted with your sin? Do you hide away and try to cover it? Or, like David, do you agree and confess that not only have you terribly hurt or killed someone, but you’ve sinned against God Almighty?  If you do, God is ready to forgive you and cleanse you.

What practically has the Lord revealed that might help me? One new thought practice that I’m trying to adopt is to shift my view about each person whose value I have tarnished. I am practicing remembering how God sees them.  The fact is, they are all 100 % loved and valued by our Father. Someone once wrote something to the effect of: internally call each Christian brother and sister you meet, ‘this person, perfect in Christ’.  For that is what we all will be one day when we see Jesus face to face.

The other thought process that is rescuing me from beating myself up includes Romans 8:28. My version goes like this:  All that I didn’t receive from someone, was ‘deprived of’ has been and is working for my good, as managed by my wise and loving Father.

The fact is whether someone did or did not mean to hurt me, God has ordained that I should not have what I believed I wanted.  He has his reasons. He is the one that gets to define what is good for me. Not ‘good’ but useful for many reasons, to include my growth in holiness, in humility, and dying to sin. As well as encouraging others struggling just like me.

I’m now seeing that up until this week, I’ve been living as a prisoner of unmet desires coupled with unresolved and unconfessed resentments and hurts. That way of living offers no way out, no happy ending. Satan loves to stir THAT pot with his malevolent suggestions.  Listening to him and our flesh, it’s easy to feed on the self-pity that comes from thinking about how circumstances could have been other, had you gotten what you wanted, whether the respect, the attention, the recognition or the freedom of choice.

This morning I met with an older sister in Christ. One whose empathy and compassion have grown out of her own hurts, disappointments and a life of pain. I felt safe confessing to her my uglies and asked for her advice and prayers.  That felt like the right thing to do. She gave me some practical ways to pray and think.

I have a new calling. I am now claiming and declaring that I am a contented prisoner of Hope.  Won’t you join me in this place with its pleasant boundaries? The future is bright and beautiful.

Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double. Zechariah 9:12 (ESV)

Copying Paul’s way of praying

March 21, 2024

Maria Desire, Ephesians 1, God's will, Prayer, Psalm 37 , , , , , 1 Comment

I love to read books on prayer, ranging from how to create the desire to pray to how to pray according to God’s will.  Paul Miller’s latest book, A Praying Church, challenges me to grow up and reorient the ways I’ve been praying.

This morning, one of my favorite verses popped up:

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NKJV

That word ‘also’ caught my attention. Some translations don’t have it, but no matter, God used it to prompt me to look for the context of verse 4. And it makes sense when reading what precedes and follows. Verses 3 and 5 are part of one exhortation. Think of ‘the delighting/desiring’ verse as the meat and the other two sets of teachings as the bread. 

Looking at the verbs, the top layer directs us to: TRUST in the Lord (believe what he says)….DO good….DWELL where God has us (stay put, in other words).  The bottom piece urges us to: ENTRUST our way to God (or hand over our life). That’s it. The verse terminates not with one more action for us to do, but an assertion that the Lord will take care of whatever we yield or surrender to him.

More than assert, this promise infuses confidence in us.  Just think, the very God of creation will act on all we purposefully place in his hands. From my perspective, these are all the things I can’t make happen. The people I want to fix, the circumstances I long to change, the suffering of friends and family and the world.  

Now that we see the structure, here’s the meat, the part all of us like to cite and hope is true (for it sounds almost TOO good to be real). 

Delight yourself in the Lord (the Hebrew says in essence,spend time being with God and enjoy his company more than anyone else’s) and he will give you the desires of your heart (again the Hebrew reads, he will answer your prayers).

The day before I pondered these three verses, I had read the first line of Charles de Foucault’s most famous prayer.  It stopped me cold in its simplicity and boldness.

Do with me what you will.

Six simple words. Total surrender. What kind of man or woman do you think would have the courage to say that to Jesus? Only someone who has spent so much time with our Savior that the Lord has become his favorite person.

I want God to grow an attitude in me like that of Charles de Foucault. Paul Miller’s book and the Apostle Paul’s writings are guiding me in that direction. I’m gradually learning to pray not just for the current circumstances of life and people to change, but for faith legs to support each person involved. I pray for our roots to grow down deep, drinking in God’s love for us. The former Pharisee Paul prayed this way, as recorded in Ephesians 1: 17-21 (NIV)

 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strengthhe exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

A lot of my prayers are still in elementary school mode. Dear God, please make this work out the way I want, for I am trusting you.

It’s time for me to move up to middle school and grow some more.

What if I’m praying wrong?

February 29, 2024

Maria God's will, Healing, Holy Spirit, James 5, Matthew 6, Prayer, Romans 8, The Lord's Prayer , , , Leave a comment

…we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us….. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will…..Romans 8:26-27 NLT

Wednesday night at the prayer meeting, knowing that most of the shared prayer requests involve physical healing, surgeries and care for loved ones and friends, Pastor Joe gave us some guidance.  Though God does want us to pray for bodily and mental wellness, we should also add petitions for spiritual healing in each of these cases. He cited James’ teaching on healing prayers that include requests for forgiveness of sins.

He further reminded us how God is working good in and through all painful situations for believers (Romans 8:28) and that the Holy Spirit prays for us.

I couldn’t remember where in Chapter 8 God teaches that the Spirit in us actually intercedes for us, so I looked up those passages this morning.

I felt relieved AND excited to read that the Holy Spirit continually aligns his prayers with God’s will.  And that the Father knows what the Spirit is praying for, on my behalf.

Haven’t you heard teaching that reassures us that if God knows what we need, that implies he’s going to act on it? But what if I’m not sure what I need?  What if all my prayers are just about what I want him to do? As in: just remove this XYZ suffering and make everything get back to normal!

How stunning to know that the Father actually has specific things he wants you and me to pray for. That makes me curious? What does our God want us to pray for?

Maybe Jesus’ model prayer pops into your mind. When asked, our Lord responded to his disciples, with:  Pray like this….. Father, may your name be made famous and honored by all, cause your kingdom to come more and more, and may all of your will be done…..

That’s a good place to start. Beyond that, if we don’t know all of what God wants, the Bible is replete with enough about his purposes that we can incorporate more of those into our prayers.

I want to grow in this way. For example, when I pray for one of Mike’s meetings ‘to go well’, I could add: Cause Mike to remember that you are guiding him always, so he has no need to be nervous.  ….or…… As you protect us on this trip, may we be looking for how you provide just what we need in every circumstance. Remind us to relax into your fatherly, loving and good care. For then we can praise you and share with others how you always come through!

I’m excited to expand how I pray AND I am grateful to God for providing the Holy Spirit as my safety net. Even when I pray ‘selfishly,’ unaware of all I COULD be asking for, the Spirit takes my prayers and aligns them with what the Father would like to have me pray. Thank you, three-in-one God!

Control issues?

February 22, 2024

Maria Listening to God, Mark 6, Prayer, Trusting God , , 1 Comment

He told them to take nothing for their journey except a walking stick—no food, no traveler’s bag, no money. Mark 6:8 NLT

Are you practiced at off-loading your anxieties onto Jesus?  Do you have a means for getting them out of your head, either expressing them out loud as you talk to Jesus or writing them down?

Confession time:  This post about what I currently am angsting about is probably going to seem VERY silly-stupid to you!

Yesterday morning, distracted by swirling thoughts during my quiet time, I stopped and wrote down everything I feared, each matter weighing on me.

I’m soon going to make a short trip alone. I’ll be gone 4 nights.  Usually, when Mike and I travel by car, I pack a cooler and bags with our kind of food and snacks. Lots of protein and some of my low-carb almond bread for lunches.  Compared to many Americans, we probably eat weird. By all means, for dinners, we are grateful to eat what our hosts provide.

On this trip, I will be helping my sister-in-law go through Mom’s apartment, sorting, saving and getting rid of things. Among other things, I’ve been stressing over what to do about lunches.  Eating out is pricey and the food I could bring or fix would be much healthier.  But it’s complicated because we’ll be most of each day at Mom’s independent living place. Her former apartment has only a kitchen sink and a frig. No big deal since the residents receive all their meals in a common dining room where they can socialize. But what am I going to do for lunch? I don’t want to plan without taking Eve into consideration. She eats breakfast. I don’t for I wait until lunch for my first meal.

As trivial as all this is, the fact remained is that ‘it’ was bothering me. So, I stopped and told Jesus.

After I flushed my concerns out of me and saw them on paper, I did the next step I learned from Jamie Winship (see his website: https://www.identityexchange.com/ ) by asking Jesus:

What do YOU think? What do you want me to know?

And what do you want me to do?

Distractions taken care of, I picked up with my prayers and bible reading. About a half hour later, Jesus’ instructions to his twelve disciples from Mark’s gospel popped into my mind.

Is that what you want me to do, Lord? Take nothing? Make no provision?

Then an ‘aha’ question occurred to me: Might you thinking I have a control problem?

Is this your way of teaching me that I can trust you?

Five times, I sensed he was kindly and gently responding ‘Yes’

I took a deep breath and said, Okay, Lord. Have it your way.  I WILL trust you. I don’t think I will starve.  I’ll pack a lunch just for my travel day there and count on you to provide. Maybe it IS time, I practice what I say I believe about you being my provider.

Not that it’s not okay to take provisions with you.  But I’m realizing that this opportunity might be both a gift to me to see him come through as well as a way to loosen my grip.

I know my two daughters-in-law would totally agree with Jesus. They are both health-conscious women but relaxed about food in a way that I have yet to grow into. 

So, an adventure awaits. I’ll let you know what happens on the other side of this trip.

But what about you?  If you are a westerner, you probably struggle with control issues in some area(s) of your life?  Just to name a few…..do you trust God for the salvation of your grown kids?  For God to bring in sufficient income each month? For your relationships with difficult family members or people at work and at church?  For guidance about important decisions? For enough time during the day to get done what you must?

We all cling to our independence in at least some area of our lives.  God has let me go on ‘in my way’ for a while. For sure, I’ve changed some. But this feels like a bigger step, not to take any food with me. But I DO want to practice trusting God! And I’m putting my money on him that he’ll surprise me with his gentle goodness.

A prayer for any situation

February 8, 2024

Maria 1 Corinthians 2, Exodus 33, God's Glory, Prayer, Psalm 20 , , , , , Leave a comment

Moses said, “Please show me your glory” Exodus 33:18 NIV

This morning with a cup of coffee at hand, I opened up to Psalm 20. I needed God’s word to shape my mind for this day.  I’m in the truck with Mike right now as we travel to Asheville to say goodbye to Mom who is dying.

The first part of Psalm 20 is a petition, asking God to grant his people several marvelous gifts of help and sustenance. Then comes verse 4 (NLT): May he grant your heart’s desires….

I paused and said to myself: Just what IS your desire, Maria, in this situation that involves Mom, her two sons, Mike and Steve and you?

I was about to form a response with details of her passing and the ‘boys’ grief, when what popped into my mind was Moses’ petition to witness God’s glory!

Not what I was expecting. But it thrilled me.  I saw it as evidence that bit, by bit, I am growing more like Christ.  I DO have ‘the mind of Christ’ (1 Corinthians 2:16).  Not completely, but each less-clingy, less-desperate detailed request is a way I can release control over my life and hand Jesus the reins. It’s a way of praying like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane when he submitted to the Father’s will.

I don’t know what the weekend holds, but I do know that we have a Good Shepherd to lead us by the hand as we walk with Mom through the dark valley of death.  He will bring us to the other side.  May we see his glory!

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