Letter to a son – what we failed to teach you

September 28, 2010

Maria Faith, Gospel, Peace, Sanctification, Thinking , , , , , , Leave a comment

Dear Son –

Dad and I were so blessed by your phone call last night. Your transparent accounting of what you struggle with at age 22, both as a newly married man and a recently commissioned Infantry lieutenant, convey trust and love for us and a longing to grow.  These two changes in your life are major, in and of themselves.  Together they provide a lot of stress; even if they are circumstances you have chosen and for which you have mentally prepared.    You’ve faced difficult challenges before, since you’ve been a Christian for 6 or so years and have experienced pruning and growth. But new developments have peeled away a comfort layer and revealed more sin for your Father to address.  Your attitude and reaction to some of these feelings raised have caught you by surprise.

The way you described what God has been teaching you was well articulated.  It’s not a first-time lesson nor is it unique to you.  The choice before all Christians is to walk/abide in our human flesh or to walk/abide in Christ.  The first choice is more comfortable because we have developed personal coping mechanisms to deal with daily unpleasantness.  The second option works far better, but either doesn’t always occur to us and/or doesn’t appeal.  Our pride/stubbornness leads us to default to the shortcut, even if we can accurately predict the outcome. We are used to failure, self-condemnation, our own excuses and concomitant spewing over onto those we love.

Here are some observations from your parents who are 31 years older than you.  However, we have really only been growing as Christians for the past 10 years.  So you, your brother, Dad and I are really about the same age as God’s Kids.

Dad and I DID NOT teach you the following: (we have been learning these realities ourselves in recent years, since you left for college)

  • The reason we were born is to glorify God.
  • The nature of life on earth is brokenness and  warfare
  • Because of Christ in us, we can have purpose and joy beyond measure, but they have NOTHING to do with comfort or circumstances.  They have to do with the Cross.

First – the purpose of life is to glorify God.  Relentlessly, the world tells us that life is all about us.  Hear the constant litany – “our comfort, our desires, our bodies, our accomplishments, our purposes, our stuff, and our rights.”   We have to intentionally choose to live moment by moment, breath by breath for what magnifies and makes most of God, not what exalts us.  John Piper exhorts us not to waste our lives on ourselves, no matter how much we beguile ourselves with our own self-worth.  Self, self, self!

Second – because of the Fall, life is hard.  Because of Satan, we are in a war.   John Piper calls us to adopt a warfare mentality.  That’s not bad.  You were mentioning that a good soldier always has a plan and is prepared to fight.  Our enemy is not just terrorists from another land, fellow humans.  All they can do is kill us.  Our real enemy is far worse. He can deceive us into believing that God doesn’t exist, or in inventing our own version of God, made in our image.

So even though we Christians know how the story ends, we have to be alert and on guard.  The American dream in both the active working years and in retirement is a major ploy of Satan’s.  He has lulled us into thinking that this life is all there is and we had better enjoy it.  Meanwhile, he is behind our lines as a 5th column, beguiling the ‘innocent’.   Be mad!  Get righteously angry, but not at fellow humans, but at the Father of Lies.

My 3rd point is worth more discussion than I have time right now.  But I don’t think you need convincing of the possibility of lasting joy and purpose in Christ.  We are comforted and assured by God’s Word that, even now on Earth, we have eternal life.  Furthermore, God be praised, we are blessed with brief glimpses of joy even while wearing these perishable bodies.

Yet, as your chronologically older sister and brother in Christ, KNOW that this painful lesson of choosing to abide in Christ, rather than working out of your flesh/ your dominant side is a lesson you will have to RELEARN, time and time again.  I’m sorry to tell you that.  Were it otherwise!  But that’s reality here on Earth.  I still struggle with complaining and a poor attitude. I have to be pulled up short, daily.  I’m even doing what I love, teaching French.  Still I grumble, because of lack of perceived comfort, time, and choice circumstances, all the ME- desires.  Your father is blessed to sing with a quality chorus as a hobby.  He still struggles with the insidious temptation to work alone out of his own strength, thus experiencing frustration or to be yoked with Christ and enjoy rest.  How simple the choice seems with distance.  How blind we are.

So be prepared to fall again and again. We thank God for your wife, a godly woman who loves you and will hold you accountable.  And you will do the same for her, when she fails to remember the way life is.   Repentance is a blessing and the Father’s arms are never shut.  Fly to him frequently.

Love,

Mom & Dad

Functional Idols – what/who I love more than God

August 30, 2010

Maria Thinking , , Leave a comment

Okay, God.  I get it.  You give me insight and you expect me to act on it.  If I don’t, then you arrange my circumstances to reinforce your point.

I have struggled with food and body issues since I was 16.  I finally reached close to the weight I feel best at (more or less –don’t we always want to be thinner?)  I bought a scale to weigh myself every day.  If the scale showed close to my ideal, it was a good day.  In fact, my first thoughts of the day would come from what the scale showed.  And God made it very clear that this was wrong.  He gently, but persistently would ask me (the thoughts would come into my head): “Is that what is most important to you?  Your body which is temporary and is going to get old and wrinkled and break down – is that what determines how you feel about life?   What about the fact that I died for you, that I have given you eternal life, you who didn’t deserve it, you who deserve condemnation?  Do you really value your body more than what I have given you?”

And I would say, “I know you’re right – I’m to love you and worship you above all else.  But this scale has the power to determine what kind of day I’ll have.  And even though if I don’t like the number, I’ll be depressed, there’s a chance the number is on the thin side and I’ll feel REALLY good!”

But, recently, the scales have been going up and up and I seem to have no control over the number it shows or over my body.  I haven’t changed my exercise or my eating habits.  For the days when I’ve eaten more, I’ve compensated.  But now I am perplexed and have been depressed.

Yet I understand what has happened.  When I wasn’t obedient to the soft God-voice, He had to get my attention in a stronger fashion.  Repenting, I put away the scales today and asked God to give me a different way of thinking.  And He did.  I was in Zechariah this morning.  Chapter 4, verse 6 says:  Not by might, not by strength but by my spirit alone, says the Lord. And then in an email Christian quote of the day, was Paul’s reminder to Timothy (and to us) that God has not given us a spirit of fear (or condemnation) but a spirit of love, of power and of a sound mind (the Holy Spirit).

So, dear Lord, forgive me for looking to something other than You as my lodestar.  Guide me this day in how to think (and how to eat). I can’t be trusted to think correctly on my own.   I’m fallen.  And thinking right thoughts IS our chief moral duty (per Michael Novak, a Catholic theologian).  For unless we think correctly and truthfully about God, we will not act properly.

Why can’t God just overlook or forgive our sins?

February 15, 2010

Maria Forgiveness, Romans, Sin , 3 Comments

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it- the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction:  for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,  whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. Romans 3:21-25

Why couldn’t God just keep on passing over our sins, i.e.  FORGIVE our sins, without Jesus having to die? I was thinking about the nature of sin the other day during a Chapel talk at my school.  I suddenly realized that we have to accept that a property or feature of sin committed in God’s world is that it automatically incurs God’s wrath.  We can’t get away from that aspect.  It’s incontrovertible – not open to being challenged.  God set up the world and is the final authority on what everything means and what the rules of the ‘game’ are.  And since He says that sin has to be paid for – ultimately, then He can’t just forgive it.  The whole package of sin includes this wrath-incurring aspect.

When a friend fails to do what she says and lets you down, you experience at the very least the pain of disappointment.  Even if you forgive her, you still suffer.  Suffering can’t be separated from sin.  God’s active, avenging anger is the same way.  It is part of the nature of sin.

So when Paul tells us that God is righteous, it means that He acts consistently with the nature and consequences of sin.  He doesn’t go against the system He established – there is actual wrath to be dealt with.  We normally would absorb that wrath as a consequence of being the instigators of the sin.  But the amazing, outside of the box, reality is that Jesus in covenantal agreement with the other two members of the Trinity, absorbs that wrath in our place.  That is what ‘propitiation’ means.  God the Father accepts the work of his Son in absorbing the entire wrath due us for our sin.

It’s not that we are declared not guilty. We ARE guilty.  It’s that our debt or penalty to God has been paid for and we get to walk out of jail free.  It is incorrect to say that it is though we never sinned.  We DID sin.  Appropriate punishment was meted out and paid for/absorbed by Jesus.  And now we are welcomed back into society.

But our reentry into the community is far better than going back to ‘normal’.  Think about a man charged with being a sex offender who spends time in jail and then when his sentence has been completed, he is released.  The problem for him is that no one wants him living in the community near them.  He lives with shame the rest of his life.

Our crimes against God are FAR WORSE than the sex offender.  We rebelled against the very One who created us in the first place.   But God does not leave us to stew in our shame.  He invites us to a NEW normal.  We are actually given a place of honor, the opposite of shame.  God, the Father, invites us to share in the privileges of children of the King with full inheritance rights.

May we meditate on this unexpected grace.  May we revel in thoughts of the inheritance waiting for us.  May we frequently daydream about the full fellowship we will enjoy when we are face to face with the One we sinned against and the One who absorbed the punishment due us.

Let’s finish the rest with forthrightness and humility like David

February 3, 2010

Maria 2 Samuel, Wisdom , Leave a comment

2 Sam 24:10  But David’s heart smote him after he had numbered the people.  David said to the Lord, I have sinned greatly in what I have done.

Unlike his earlier major debacle with Bathsheba when Nathan confronted David with his sin, no human being needs to meet with David this time.  The unseen Holy Spirit, who convicts all believers of sin, communicates directly to David’s heart.  The king has called for a census during a time when his kingdom is not at war, and no conscription is necessary. Joab, his military chief of staff, has strongly advised against it.  But the King’s wishes prevail.  However, after 9 months of counting when David is presented with the data, he immediately comes face to face with the fact of his sin.  He confesses immediately to the Lord and submits to his punishment.  We know that he was correct in his spiritual inventory, because the prophet Gad is directed by God to present to David three choices of punishment.  God implements the 3-day plague that David has chosen as the lesser evil.

A further sign of spiritual growth is when David, appalled at the price his own people have to pay for his sin, attempts to halt the plague’s destruction at the end of the allotted time.  His prophet Gad instructs him to set up an altar and sacrifice.  The intended place is Araunah’s barn.  When the farmer finds out David’s intentions, he offers to supply everything David needs at no cost, including the land, animals and firewood.  David, totally unconscious of any embarrassment, publically renounces the gift by explaining that he will not offer to the Lord something that has not cost him.  David has learned that true worship, where one declares the worth of another, requires giving up of something of personal value.

I’m struck by a parallel thought.  First, the mighty King David, the man after God’s own heart, is still sinning.  I need to prepare myself for the fact that as I mature, I will, from time to time, still settle for less than God’s glory in my choices. I am still a sinner, though redeemed.  But I can always repent and receive forgiveness as long as I am humble.  Second, my sin will cost others, and my repentance will cost me.  But I rather face reality and prepare for it, then live with the illusion that Christian growth leads to an end to sinning.  Not in this life!

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