Stressed out and exhausted?

August 25, 2013

Maria Anxiety, Celebration, Galatians, Gifts, Isaiah, Patience, Peace, Romans, Trust , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

What if I could offer you a guaranteed cure for stress and anxiety;

a sure-fire way to enjoy harmonious, happy relationships with family members; a formula for a satisfying marriage; a method for navigating the frustrations of modern life; a technique for stretching your time each day, would you be interested?

And how much would you be willing to pay for any of those ‘tools’?

We have just moved to the Asheville, NC area.  Often called the Seattle of the East, Asheville is a magnet not only for hippies, liberals,

artists and foodies but also for the spiritual seekers.

People pay beaucoup bucks attending Deepak Chopra seminars, buying the latest book recommended by experts Dr. Oz or Oprah or learning new meditative routines. 

Consider an alternative:

Jesus offers a counter-intuitive/ outside.the.box solution to all of our problems and it’s free.

Hey there!  All who are thirsty, come to the water!  Are you penniless?  Come anyway – buy and eat!  Come buy your drinks, buy wine and milk.  Buy without money – everything’s free!  Why do you spend your money on junk food, your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?  Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest.  (Isaiah 55: 1-5)

How do you like the offer FIRST of wine and THEN of milk?  Celebration first and nourishment second – that’s the way things work in the upside.down.kingdom.

The membership offer, to be part of God’s family, entails NO cost to us.  And once we are connected in the permanent way, (well as you’ve heard it quipped by that giant credit card, ‘Membership has its privileges”,)   we are the happy recipients of many riches, as described by God in his promises.

One major privilege for Christians is the promise of transformation.  Without having to work for it, once inhabited by the supernatural Spirit at our new birth, we are gradually infused with new qualities.  These are the ones that 21st century humans are running around trying to buy or work for:

  • Inner peace that comes from being reconciled with the Creator and Judge of creation
  • Patience with ourselves and with others
  • Joy and contentment with the permanent things of life
  • Love of a different kind – feeling it and being able to act in a way that others feel it too
  • A gentle nature that understands the wounded nature of others and gives them space to ‘spaz’
  • A trusting attitude that even when things go wrong, God is still in control
  • A kindly disposed response-mechanism to angry and biting fellow humans
  • A good heart that desires to copy his or her heavenly Father
  • A mind trained to be reasonable and thoughtful in all situations

You probably recognize the list – yes, these are the 9 fruits of the spirit that are our new birth-right.

But you quip, you still lack them?  Or you live with a ‘so-called-Christian’ who doesn’t exhibit many of them?

Hmm…sounds like you or your companion need to imbibe some more of that holy wine and holy milk (aka Scripture).  Paul reminds us of the FACT that we DO become different as we reflect and rejoice in the facts of our adoption.  That is what he means by, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind!”

Now doesn’t that sound like an offer too good to pass up?  Drink up (soak in the Bible’s content)  and invite your friends to the party. (you can invest your money in something more lasting than quackery!)

Conversation with a fellow slave

March 24, 2013

Maria Freedom, John, Service , , 2 Comments

I was reading Marvin Olasky’s column in the latest issue of World Magazine (23 March 2013).  He writes on the very last page, before the cover, and I always start magazines at the back.  In his essay, ‘Remember their chains’, Marvin explored past and current ways to start the God-conversation with someone you encounter.  His final thought energized me and made me excited to talk to my next seat partner on a flight.  Boiling it down in my own words and through my filter, my future conversation goes like this (after some initial get-to-know-you chit-chat) :

Maria:  So what drives you?

Joe Blow:  What do you mean?

Me: Well, everyone is working at something, trying to impress someone, motivated to achieve, earn, make peace with something or someone important in their life.  What is that for you?

(And then I might unabashedly share my past bulimic body-image issues and how I’ve been a slave to controlling my food intake/exercise output since those days.  And how horrid a slave-master THAT has been!!   And that the ONLY way out is to know the TRUTH.)

Joe Blow:  What do you mean by truth?  What truth?  Which truth?  Whose truth?

Me:  Good question.  The God I serve promises that if we find the truth and trust the truth and obey the truth, then we will be free indeed.  (John 8:32 -…  and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free)

Joe Blow: (a bit triumphantly)  Hmmph…the truth is, I’m not a slave to anything or anyone!

Me:  That’s what we all think, because we’re modern.  But the fact is, whether we like it or not, all humans are wired to be slaves, or at least to serve and worship something or someone.   Do you consider yourself an honest person?

Joe Blow:  What do you mean by honest?

Me:  I mean, that, if you recognize something as real and true, however you define it, can you courageously admit that you’ve encountered truth?  Or are you the kind of person who has too much pride and just pretends that it isn’t so, in order to maintain the upper hand in a conversation?

Joe Blow: (a bit haughtily and acting like I might be insulting him)   I’d like to think that I have that kind of integrity you’re describing.

Me: Well, here goes: The Old Testament in the Bible recounts episode after sad account of the Hebrews serving God at times and then not.  They would drop God and switch their allegiance to the false gods of neighboring peoples. And at other times, they would move beyond religion and actually invest their hopes in stronger strategic partners to rescue them.

The histories chronicled in the Bible document NOT a single time when the Hebrews were neutral, serving no one.   They either served or obeyed God, or were slaves to different powers, whether real or demonic.

And if we move from the strategic level to the personal level, we read in the Bible all sorts of tragedies of men and women driven by their greed for power, sex or money/material things.  These untamed forces either played themselves out in brutal, blatant conquests or in the more manipulative, sinister yet secretive moves.

And lest you think times have gotten any better, the New Testament and history SINCE then don’t show any improvement in men and women. More education and ‘better’ living conditions haven’t changed our hearts. We just pretend more, even to ourselves.

So do you see why I asked you ‘What drives you?’

Joe Blow:  Yeah, I see your point, but I don’t think those behaviors describe me.  I’m pretty happy with my life.  I like my job, I’ve got some money in the bank, I’m seeing a pretty sweet gal who has her life together, too.  Life seems good. And my friends would all say I’m a fairly chill guy.

Me:  (with a playful touch of light praise) Bravo! and well done you!  You may be the one exception to nature. (By the way, did I mention that God created nature? He-he…just teasing you!)   No, in all honesty, I would probably come to the same conclusion, IF, I didn’t know myself better.  I don’t think I’m a slave to what others think of me, or to money, or to my reputation for being perfect mom or wife…but I have had struggles with meeting MY standard for how I teach French. Numerous times in the past,  I’ve allowed a ‘bad French-class day’ to  cause me to feel down.

But what God is teaching me these days is this:  I have learned (pausing slowly for effect)  that when what I treasure or value the most is taken away from me, or even threatened, I get angry.

Joe Blow:  (who is beginning to listen attentively at this point) Hmm..what is that?  …….the thing you most value?

Me:  MY time…Time for Maria, time to get my work down…so I can have time to walk and listen to podcasts…and so I can have time to relax and read ‘enough’ each day.  I am learning that ‘MY TIME’ is what I most treasure and hoard and protect.

Joe Blow:  Huh…I never looked at ‘my time’ as a possession, but I have to admit, I can identify.  So how do you get out of that mindset?

Me:  Thanks for being honest.  I think a lot of people feel that way, at least about something.  It might not be time, but it might be money or recognition.  You know that truth I mentioned? – The verse about knowing the Truth and being set free?   Well, Truth is not just a concept or a fact to know.  Truth is actually a person – Jesus Christ.  Jesus is actually God who took on the body and life of a real human being in time and space, one of us.  And He lived and died for some pretty cosmic supernatural reasons.  You know how I mentioned that we are created and wired to serve someone or something?   God did in fact fashion us to serve Him since He knew that only by making Him both our Treasure and Lord, we would be happy.   And since we have preferred OTHER things, we have piled up a whole lot of guilt.  The penalty for rebellion is death.

But the amazing news is that God the Father of Jesus, and God the Son and God the ‘power-filled’ supernatural Holy Spirit together crafted a plan even before God created the universe and us. The Bible says that by living a perfect life and being executed in our place, Jesus made a way for us both to get the credit for HIS life well lived and to be declared “Not Guilty” in the capitol case, “Crimes against the Creator of the Universe”.  The ‘not guilty’ ruling is pretty amazing in that God the Father was able to maintain both the standard of justice AND show mercy to us by virtue of Jesus receiving our punishment.

So now those who receive those 2 benefits have secured a permanent spot in the family of God and an amazing inheritance, both of which far outweigh whatever earthly ‘treasure’ you or I could possibly imagine.  How I am helped is by recognizing that serving Jesus, being in whatever role you want to call it:  servant, steward, slave, ambassador, beloved child, worshipper actually liberates me.  I can’t lose that treasure.  It’s not dependent on me.

Joe Blow: (thoughtfully…) so you don’t hoard your time anymore?

Maria:  (chuckling a bit ruefully) I wish I could say yes!  But if I am T-R-U-T-H-F-U-L…I will tell you that I do forget where my true treasure is..and fall back into that hoarding frame of mind.  Fortunately, I’m getting better at spotting my anxiety and stress when they start to flair.  Then I can say, “Oh, yeah…that’s pretty stupid. It’s NOT my time”, or “Thankfully that mediocre lesson today doesn’t define me”.  I’m actually growing more relaxed to the degree that I remember and am thankful to serve such a God. I have a secure identify, purpose and destination and I belong to an amazing family.

**

That’s as far as I’ve gotten in imagining the conversation.  Where would you go from here?  It sure does seem a more natural approach.  Anxiety and stress and drivenness seem to be the norm.  After all, we have MORE people than ever on anti-depressants.  People are dying for lack of good news.  I don’t want to HOARD that!!!

 

 

Pressure guaranteed, Peace optional

March 13, 2013

Maria Job, John, Matthew, Peace, Psalm 84, Uncategorized , , , 2 Comments

“In this life you WILL have trouble,” Jesus proclaimed (Matt 16:33b)

I didn’t grow up in a biblical home.  Sure I knew that people had problems.  The quiet neighbor across the street murdered his wife.  My parents were divorced for ten years of my life. My mom had suffered a mental breakdown when she was in her 20s.  But none of that really touched me.  So when I started encountering my own personal setbacks, I reacted with genuine but predictable “That’s not fair!”

What I’ve learned since is

  • we all have problems
  • some people have it worse
  • once you get through one problem, there is always another

Anne, my daughter-in-law puts it this way when describing their current suffering:  “That’s just OUR HARD!”

This remark popped up during a discussion about another family she and toddler Noah had recently visited.  Anne and her husband Wes’ our hard is the deployment with its separation and intermittent anxiety.

Anne and I were savoring God’s promise in Psalm 84:11 to withhold NO GOOD thing from those of us who trust in Jesus’ righteousness.   Although Anne quickly asserted that she very much wants to see Wes sooner than the scheduled August return, she also doesn’t want to miss out on any of the ‘good things’ that God has planned.

What an attitude!  I love how she has captured human problems as a series of ‘our hards’.   (I have her permission to quote her!)

Not only knowing that God has good gifts stockpiled among life’s pressures, problems and pains, but the fact that our ‘lot’ is actually appointed for us is a comfort:   Look at how Job describes God’s plans in chapter 23: 10-14

But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.
11 My foot has held fast to his steps;
I have kept his way and have not turned aside.
12 I have not departed from the commandment of his lips;
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food.
13 But he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back?
What he desires, that he does.
14 For he will complete what he appoints for me,
and many such things are in his mind.

Don’t think that this is just primitive man’s understanding of God.  In the New Testament, Paul affirms this very same truth – that God PLANS/PREMEDITATES/PURPOSES each individual life, packed with intentional circumstances and experiences.  We don’t and WON’T KNOW all the whys and wherefores, but we can trust Him.  Over and over in Scripture, we read of God’s mercy, loving kindness and compassion that go together with His sovereign control and sustaining of all.

Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.  (1 Cor 7:17)

**

You say, : “Okay, so it’s a fact that life is hard and that these situations are planned for us by God.   Du-uh!  All one has to do is open his eyes and see the suffering. Where’s the good news in that?”

It’s coming!  Bear with me a moment……

God HAS promised to give us peace, but it is conditional.  We’ve got to do something.  Let’s look at another gospel where Jesus talks about trials.  In John 16:33 He says:

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

What do we have to do to get that peace?   One action, based on knowledge:

We are called to take heart, to encourage ourselves. How?  By knowing who Jesus is and who we are if we are united to Him.   Jesus tells us that if HE has rescued, redeemed and brought us into His Kingdom as His subject/family member/ steward/ ambassador/ soldier, then we have EVERYTHING we need to live on Earth and grow more holy.

(2 Peter 1:2-3) Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Here’s another promise that can give us peace IF we soak it into our pores:

All things, all the our hards work TOGETHER (that’s divine coordination) for our GOOD, for us who belong to His forever family who are purposed by Him to love Him.

(my paraphrase of Romans 8:28)

So God equips His people and promises that the fact that Jesus has overcome the world makes the difference in our suffering.  The resurrection is how Jesus has overcome the world.  And if we are unified with Jesus, then we ultimate overcome our suffering instead of being overcome.  Being in Christ means we have access to supernatural power and wisdom.

Now all this valley-slogging, these our hards are definitely painful.  No denying that. But somehow knowing that……..

-they are planned

-for my good

-and are meant for me to face and walk through equipped with Jesus’ presence and tools

….makes the difference.  As John Piper says, “Let’s not waste our suffering!”

So what is your OUR HARD and how are you blessed?

 

What calms my anxious heart when I think….. I have to have….. my way…

February 23, 2013

Maria Anxiety, Control, Faith, Peace, Philippians, Uncategorized , Leave a comment

Do not be anxious about anything…Phil 4:6

 

Who, today, is NOT anxious?  We all have circumstances that we are hoping will work out a certain way.  And the fact that we are not in control, and therefore, have no guarantee that things will work out the way we “NEED” them to happen is our recipe for anxiety.

  • Travel arrangements in the midst of impending snowstorms
  • Medical treatments to bring a loved one back to health
  • Babies growing in the womb
  • The safe return of a son, daughter, mom or dad from deployment
  • Job cuts to be avoided; new jobs to had
  • A buyer to come along and offer the ‘right price’ at the ‘right time’
  • A special friend for a lonely child
  • A college acceptance; that certain scholarship
  • A viable pregnancy this time and not another miscarriage
  • A marriage proposal that is ‘just right’
  • A marriage to back away from the precipice and heal
  • A spouse or adult child to stay sober
  • Even….the pain that comes from not knowing but desperately praying for a loved one to come to Christ

I came across a line in a book that offers much more security and comfort than ‘hoping’ that the right circumstances will prevail.  I don’t know where I got it, so I can’t give credit.  But the author was obviously inspired by Biblical truth in Romans 8:28. Here is my paraphrase:

May we pin our hopes not on the ‘right’ circumstances to come about, but on God’s promise to work out ALL circumstances (‘panta’)  for our good and for His glory.  And since God’s desire and will for those who LOVE GOD (the only qualification) is to conform us to our elder Brother, Jesus, then we can relax in the FACT that His plan WILL be done.

As you know, Mike and I are waiting on 3 biggies in our transition to Phase 4 of our working life:

1) The ‘right buyer’ for our house in enough time so we can indeed purchase the ‘right house’

2) The ‘right job’ for me in Asheville at the ‘right income’

3) The ‘right number and kind ‘of paying clients for Mike’s consulting business

 

But we don’t have to be anxious because ALL the details, twists and turns of each day are being providentially controlled by Him.  I don’t have to hold my breath and hope that my particular version of ‘Maria & Mike’s best life’ works out.

Two problems with THAT life script – it might not be what is actually best for us.  And I have no ability to make/force it to happen.  Minor details, right?

But here is what I DO have – an absolute iron-clad/blood-bought promise that Jesus, my archegos: i.e. chief leader/controller/ director/ champion/prince/ author and teleiotes: i.e. finisher/completer/perfector of the faith He planted in me when I was

———–born again…… transferred from the Kingdom of Darkness to the Kingdom of Light….. crucified with Him and given new life………

IS IN CHARGE of all the details concerning us and is guiding them/ controlling them/ orchestrating them…for our best as He defines best.

Breathe in….breathe out….and join me in opening YOUR clenched fist.  What are  you pinning your hope on ? If it’s on anything but Christ our Rock, then your mental state will continue to drive you nuts.  Not exactly a good walking billboard for the benefits of belonging to ‘The Way, the Truth and the Life’.

 Your future includes manna. It will come. There is no sense devising future scenarios now because God will do more than you anticipate. When you understand God’s plan to give future grace, you have access to what is arguably God’s most potent salve against worry and fear. (Ed Welch, Running Scared)

 

What kind of peace do you want?

December 30, 2012

Maria Ephesians, Hebrews, John, Peace , Leave a comment

Terms of Peace

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:27

I heard an account of the Pope’s Christmas Message given at mass in St Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican.  Of course the French news report I was listening to left off the biblical context and just relayed the Pope’s hopes for world peace.

In searching on line for the actual text, I do see that the leader of Catholics did preface his political remarks with a brief account of how God became incarnate and how we must open the door of our heart to Him by faith. Then he tied those thoughts to wishes for earthly peace in different hot spots around the world.

In thinking about peace, I started to parse in my mind the various versions of peace.  A close family member of mine is representative of many in her honest wishes for world peace. She sincerely hopes that 2013 will be different. By peace she is referring to the absence of armed conflict, both the official kind between people groups and the unsanctioned version, that is ‘plain ole one-on-one unthinkable evil’.

There is also family peace, which is the absence of coldness and hard feelings that characterize unforgiveness.  Since we are all sinners, there is constant need and opportunity to forgive.  The family and work environment offer us lots of places to hurt one another.

However, the peace we most need to seek and hold on to, is peace with God.  Here is where I wish the Pope had led his listeners.  Conflict between people is serious and the cause of much evil and suffering.  But we can’t always do something about the other guy.  We CAN do something about our state of rebellion with God, though.  Explaining our guilty plight and sharing life-giving hope for real change would have been the best Christmas message the Pope could have given.

Simply put –

  • When we are born, we are enemies of God and to be exact, sons and daughters of Satan.  (sounds harsh, but it’s what the Bible teaches:   Eph 2:3b – by nature, objects of wrath/ Ps 51:5 – Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me/ John 8:44 – For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does.)

 

  • As an enemy of God, there is no peace that we humans can bring about.  We can’t sign a peace treaty with God because our real guilt and crimes against Him are in the way and loom insurmountable.

 

  • Jesus’ crucifixion pictures for us what God thinks of these crimes. What Jesus suffered is God’s verdict against sin.

 

  • We are helpless and without hope unless He does something.

 

  • He showed mercy by counting & reckoning to us Jesus’ payment for our sin, by counting & reckoning to us Jesus’ righteous acts day by day for 33 years

 

  • Our only response to this way of Peace?  To be grateful recipients of un-imaginable grace. Who would have invented such a twist to the story?  That’s why it’s called scandalous!

 

I wish the Pope had talked about this kind of peace. Truces will come and go.  War and more evil will happen because the heart is desperately wicked.  Human nature doesn’t change because of this bent toward evil.  Technological progress and education can’t affect our in-bred rebellion.

Where’s the hope?  It’s in this – only when someone is born ‘from above’ does a person receive a new DNA.  Christ in me, the ONE & ONLY sure foundation for peace.

As the unnamed author of the letter to the Hebrews puts it, “Today, if you would hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…..Today is the day of salvation!”

To my brothers and sisters in Christ – May you and I enter 2013 in full assurance of our status as “permanently at peace with the God of the Universe”.  And may we now, as His purchased forever-family-members, work each day as His appointed Ambassadors/Stewards/Soldiers going about sharing the terms of the peace treaty:

“Lay down your arms, you rebels and submit to the Kindest King you can ever imagine.”

What adventure!  What purpose!  What a new life!

 

Addicted to calm waters

November 11, 2012

Maria Contentment, Peace, Uncategorized , , , , Leave a comment

As I write this, Calvin seems better. His downward spiral after some routine surgery led to the vet calling me during my 8th grade logic class. Either he had serious neurological problems or he was a member of a tiny percentage of cats allergic to that particular antibiotic.  Dr. Crist gently mentioned, “If this is a neurological issue, euthanasia might be the kindest option.”

As the tears welled up and I reached for tissues, my 24 budding adults didn’t know quite what to do.  Through sniffles and a tight throat, I explained what the vet had said and what God was teaching me through this experience.  Friday was another day colored by difficult circumstances that had been unfolding during the past two weeks.  Even before my mind absorbed the possibility of actually losing Calvin, God had been teaching me.

Negative lessons:

  • Functionally, I am addicted to a problem-free life.
  • I act as if my pets and family members are mine.
  • The more I need circumstances to go my way, the less I have of real peace.
  • I need trials and difficult circumstances to wean me off of false and damaging ideas.

Positive lessons:

  • I am a steward of anything that I previously looked at as ‘mine.’
  • I am here on Earth to do my Master’s bidding.
  • My desires for peace, health, comfort, rest are good and legitimate and given to me by God.  Where I go wrong is in expecting that they will be satisfied my way here on Earth.  But in heaven, I will be bowled over by how they are met.
  • If I have been bought (redeemed) and forgiven by God because of Jesus’ work on my behalf, then I have a new full-time and life-long calling.  I am a soldier AND ambassador in the Lord’s army.  My orientation must change.  It is no longer Maria’s life and Maria’s agenda and Maria’s desires.  I am a servant.
  • I am to put on HIS clothes and armor each day before going out to share the terms of peace with the remaining rebels who haven’t heard the news about the Conquering King.
  • I wear my wedding invitation to the divine, heavenly banquet.  When Maria died and was reborn by the Holy Spirit, her admittance to the Eternal Party was woven and sewn into her new self.  The blood-written letters lovingly spell out what awaits me.  One day I will be ushered into the presence of the Lamb and the Father.  It is THEN that I can relax.
  • In the meantime, like Jesus demonstrated 2000 years ago, my expectation should be to strip my cumbersome robe of Maria’s agenda, wrap a towel around my waist and wash the feet of those in my path.

Reading and personalizing an Andrew Murray quote on acquiescing to God’s sovereignly-sent trials has helped me.  I summarize what he wrote with 4 prepositions –   By, In, Under, For.

These troubled waters (picture roily seas like the kind Peter walked on) have been sent to me

  • BY GOD’S DIVINE APPOINTMENT
  • IN HIS KEEPING
  • UNDER HIS TRAINING
  • FOR MY GOOD, FOR THE LENGTH OF TIME HE SEES FIT

And what are troubled waters? –  Any circumstance that I don’t like, such as

– problems and disappointments

– delays and frustrations

– trouble and disaster

– sickness and death

– even evil

In short – unmet expectations.

Yet, I act and feel surprised when calm waters evaporate. I shouldn’t.  After all, didn’t Jesus affirm that we would have troubles in this life?  Why do I work so hard to avoid what is inevitable in a fallen world?

As bleak as the above might seem, we can take hope.  These trials are NOT a cosmic ‘whoops’.   God IS in charge.  The Fall is not a surprise.  He has ordained it and is using it for His purposes – His Good purposes.  We can trust Him.

So like Peter, to the extent that we keep our eyes and thoughts fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and trust Him to walk with us through the Valley and through rough waters, we will grow in experiencing His true peace.  NOT the peace that depends on circumstances.

PS:  If our desires won’t be satisfied until the next life, shouldn’t we be coaching our kids how to delay gratification?     

Plagued and assaulted by diabolical thoughts

October 29, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Uncategorized , , , , , , 5 Comments

Bless Charles Spurgeon!  I am so thankful for this 19th century preacher.  Trolling a collection of sermons regarding spiritual warfare landed this life-saving thought: the Devil plants destructive ideas like rat-traps, ready to snap shut and hold us captive.

For years since the age of 16, I have been prisoner to a cruel master and regularly beaten up & battered with the idea that my worth and significance come from weighing 125 pounds. When I started to gain weight, I then fell prey to the self-salvation trap of bulimia.

Long story short, God rescued me from the pit of this eating disorder, but I have still been tethered to the harmful idea of “Weighing X=good day  v. Weighing non-X = bad day”.

God has lovingly allowed/ sent/ willed/ gifted me with this trial and I am beginning to bless Him and thank Him for it.  Yes, many tears, struggles and much depression have resulted from it, but also immeasurable insight into the incomparable worth of Jesus has also ensued.

What I read Sunday in one of Spurgeon’s sermons was that our peace with God can often be disturbed by a tempting thought from Satan.

“That’s it! These are not MY thoughts and THUS TRUE. When I get on the scales in the morning, see a number and then conclude/ think __________(whatever), that is NOT MY THOUGHT, but a temptation meant to sabotage my peace.  It’s a landmine straight from the pit of Hell, ready to destroy my day, my peace, my gladness!”

All of a sudden, power and strength flowed into me.  I suddenly felt FREE.  I had been given a weapon to fight back.

**

One of the verses that I meditate on each morning is Hebrews 13:5:

Be free from the love of X (money, comfort, enough personal time, rest, weighing ___) and be CONTENT with your circumstances for God has said, ‘I will never abandon you, forsake you or leave you without support’ Therefore, we say with confidence, the Lord is our Helper. We will not fear.  What can anyone do to us!!?’

The Greek word for Content (ar-ke-o/714) has the sense of SELF-barriers; that is of raised walls, erected to guard one’s thought-life, to prevent and block assaulting lies lobbed into our conscious and sub-conscious from the enemy.

This view, that an idea or thought might not be true, that it might not be mine, because it comes from Satan is freeing me to hold on to my peace with God.

That thought -coupled with the truth that all that happens to me is sent by my happy and blessed Father for my good – is like healthy leaven beginning to work its bubbly way through my thought life.  Everything I read seems to reinforce this remedy for anxiety/unsettledness.  As I practice resting and acquiescing to life’s circumstances, seeing that they come from God, I am beginning to want to guard this peace with ever increasing jealously.

I read last night that one of the Puritan fathers purposely began his day reviewing this happy gospel fact, designed to make him want to rejoice in Christ:

  • that he had been granted the joy-filled freedom of a little boy content to play in safety
  • because our great Savior Jesus had resolutely stood His ground, enduring the cross, ‘playing the man’ aka displaying immense courage and love
  • absorbing and soaking up all of God’s wrath –  rightly meant for us – but deflected on purpose to His beloved son
  • as just punishment for all OUR sins
  • thereby leaving us, God’s happy chosen children to live and serve in safety
  • basking in the Father’s love

May we begin our days with THOSE heaven-sent thoughts and reject unholy hand grenades meant to destroy us.

Cease striving to get, just receive

October 22, 2012

Maria Colossians , Leave a comment

I was in a very unusual spot the other night when into my mind jumped this thought:  “You have nothing to get, just receive.”

I knew exactly what that meant. Getting implies effort.  Receiving is passive, just opening oneself up to be gifted.

God is softly but continually teaching me how to maintain peace by making me aware when I lose my peace.

Roy Hessian, an English evangelist in the 20th century, wrote a book called, We Would See Jesus.  Link to buy the book  A good friend of mine, Regina, gave me this book right at the start of school in August.  I absolutely LOVE it when friends give me books.  (Hint, hint!!!)

This book is changing how I think.  Hessian’s premise is that when we start to notice our lack of peace, we need immediately to repent.

How do we notice that our peace has flown off?

-anxiety

-worry

-tenseness

-fear

-anger……. to name a few negative feelings.  And at the bottom of each of these is the sin of unbelief – unbelief in Jesus’ sufficiency and willingness to provide what we need.  We need to repent.  The blood of Jesus is sufficient to cover each of these sins.  We then can step back onto the Road of Light (Jesus is the Way or path that is Truth, hence light) and travel with Him.

Colossians 2:6-7 reminds us to use logic, to remember something that has already happened and to continue based on that fact. “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

We were born again or regenerated, transferred out of the dead state of darkness through faith that was from outside of us and transmitted to us by God.  Likewise, we have to live on that gifted faith that comes to us through the Word.  When we read a promise of God, those divinely inspired words have real power to infuse us with living faith.  We believe what He says and step out accordingly.  Supernatural power comes in the same way that the Red Sea parted when it felt Moses’ staff and feet enter its waters.

Back to worry and the absolute fact that anxiety, stress, annoyance and frustration are ALL sins, because Jesus IS.  Because He is present, Jesus commands us NOT to worry, but to pray and be content knowing that we have nothing to fear.

That day before I got the divine message NOT to strive for what I thought I wanted, but to relax, to rest and to receive, I had been anxious.  I had nursed an expectation of what I SHOULD get and when I didn’t manage to secure it for myself; I was tense and started imagining, “What if….”

I knew what I was doing…and for about 2 hours I had this conversation with God:

Me:  God, I know that I need to repent of my anxiety.  I’m sorry.  I repent.  Help me!!!!!  I can’t get this out of my mind

God:   (nothing)

Me:   (I repeated my statements as above)

God:  (nothing)


Finally and thankfully, I was distracted.  Dinner and a movie with my husband changed my thoughts.  And then unbidden, not at all preceded by prayerful and desperate pleas floated down softly into my consciousness His thought/ His directive/ His consoling, soft reassurance:

 Maria, you have nothing to get, just relax and let go of your expectations, of your maneuverings.  I am in control.  I am sovereign.  I will send you what I want you to have.  What you have is what I am sending you.  I know all about your desires, your expectations.  Be at peace.

And I was at peace.

I woke up the next day, having surrendered what I wanted the day before, knowing that God was up to something.

Later, yesterday, I received the desired thing and it was better and more perfectly arranged.  Lesson learned…for now!  I’m a slow learner.  But I have a patient Father.

 

Blessed Contradiction – Psalm 68:19

August 5, 2012

Maria Psalms , Leave a comment

Bless the Lord who daily loads us with blessings.         KJV/ Darby/ Websters/ Youngs

Bless the Lord who daily bears our burdens.        NIV/ NASB/ God’s Word/ASV/ERV

Bless the Lord who daily carries us.         NLT/ ESV

Psalm 68:19

Welcome to the wonderful world of Blessed Contradictions!  I heard RC Sproul teach today that there are no contradictions in the Bible.  If one account or fact SEEMS to contradict another in the Bible, it is either a paradox or a mystery.  Paradoxes are seeming contradictions which resolve themselves when more information is provided.  Mysteries however, are just in the pre-resolved state. We don’t YET have enough information which will untangle the ‘so-called’ contradiction.

So what is a truth-loving Christian to do, given 3 different possible translations of Psalm 68:19?  Which translation is the correct one? It all depends on the definition of ‘amac’  (6006).  The Hebrew verb ‘amac’ can either mean:  to bear a load or to load onto.

So which is it?  And how are we to know?

I will offer a solution to our di- or ‘tri-lemma’ by asking a question? Would it be so wrong if we allowed for all three?

Think about Jesus’ theology.  In his high-altitude sermon, He gently chastises listeners (and us!) for holding onto anxieties, however real and legitimate they might be.  Who among us older than 9 doesn’t identify?  His invitation to come and rest is balm for many hearts. Shoulders sag with relief as He calls the weary and stressed out to come & off-load weighty matters at His feet.

If I asked you right now, ‘Friend, what wears you down, what wakes you up in the middle of the night, what is on your mind today?’ would you have to ponder long?  I bet you could tick off 10 concerns before I muttered ‘fish and loaves’ or ‘water into wine’! But whoever invites THAT kind of transparent sharing?  Each of us is preoccupied with his own ‘what ifs?’.  At most, we seem to invite honest off-loading by asking each other, ‘How are you doing?’  But few are they who listen lovingly, with patience.  We all understand social conventions.

Should you be worried that since YOU are NOT going to be worrying anymore, then nothing will get fixed, Off-loading at Jesus’ feet is in nowise neglect.  Jesus Himself will pick up our problems and sort them out from His perfect perspective. He might hand them back, one at a time, but they will have been lightened and infused with new insights into how we might deal with.  Or some will be permanently taken from us with the promise that He will solve them with His resources. (They were ‘above our pay grade’.)

Recently I was worried about finding someone to cat- sit our three cats.  The regular sitter was gone and I didn’t want to ask our neighbor who occasionally feeds them when we are away for a weekend.  I actually kept writing down this problem as a prayer request, off-loading the burden each morning, exercising trust that Jesus would come up with a solution.  About 3 weeks before we left to go hiking, one of my students called up and mentioned that she heard we were looking for a cat sitter.  She works part time at our Vet and our normal sitter had mentioned to someone who had mentioned to someone……..who worked at the Vet who then said to Monica, “there is a lady who needs a cat-sitter, would you call her?”   When Monica asked the name, it turned out to be me, her French teacher.  And when Monica phoned and we started to work out details, I asked her what she would charge.  She ‘just happened’ to still need funding for a missions trip to Japan.  Our budgeted amount for cat-sitting helped make the difference in her financial support.  Now THAT is creative.  I would not have thought of Monica.

So you see, Jesus does not suggest we ‘go Buddhist’ and pretend that we don’t have any needs.  He actually proposes a swap: His concerns for our concerns – His yoke for our yoke.  But how different from our cumbersome and heavy backpack is this Heavenly Load!

We get to wear a yoke that is custom fitted, with all the right padding in the right places. If you’ve ever hiked with a backpack, you might know the blessing of having a strap that goes across your chest and one across your waste to distribute the weight.

And what goes in our Backpack by Jesus? Do we get world-sized problems? By no means, we actually get presents!!!  Spiritual gifts for every situation: think wisdom and courage and strength and material resources.  Some of the best supplies we get to pack are Bible truths. God’s promises remind us of His love for us and His always-available supernatural power.  His forever love and permanent Holy –Spirit-power are down payments of future grace due us, given our ‘new-birthright’.  So instead of meditating on all our problems, we meditate on God’s character, His past help and His future promises.

Best of all, among all the items we carry when we are yoked to Him are His surprise gifts.  Our God is infinitely creative and as Jeremiah reminds us, God’s blessings are new every morning.  So let us meditate on the ‘loads us with blessings’ promise of this tri-fold truth.

May we NOT be perplexed by what seems like a contradiction or tri-lemma.  Since the Holy Spirit inspired King David to pen the Hebrew word ‘amac’, we can be sure that God intends good for us whether by removing the load from us, actually carrying us or giving us rich and weighty blessings.

Limitless good news

December 16, 2011

Maria Forgiveness, Gospel , , 3 Comments

“Le Hic”, (the thing) about the Gospel is that there are SO many things about the Gospel.  Who can ever be bored, when there are treasures to be discovered?  I sometimes thank God that He is both bigger & better and truer & more real than anything I can imagine.  I don’t have to fear running out of new knowledge about God.  I don’t have to fear that one day I’ll hear of proof that Christianity isn’t true after all.

Here are some recent thoughts, new to me, about God and what He has done for us:

  • Justice has been meted out in my cosmic criminal case, so I face no more penal judgment. Payment for my sins is truly behind me, a fait accompli. There is no double jeopardy in God’s kingdom.
  • I’ve already been punished when Jesus was punished
  • I’ve already died. I was crucified with Jesus at the cross.
  • Therefore, with nothing to fear, my relationship with the Father has been restored.
  • If the worse thing to fear is death, and since I’ve already died, there is nothing more to fear.   Do I lack anything?  Remember Paul’s logic.  If God the Father has given me the ultimate (Jesus), won’t He just as readily and easily provide for my lesser needs?
  • What about people’s approval?  If God is for me, what do I care what others think?  I don’t need anyone’s praise.   I’ve been declared cherished and worth dying for, so much so as to be united to Christ. (Who would want to share His nature with worms?)
  •  Not needing to please man, my time and energy is now freed from the tyranny of always having to convince others how great and unique I am.
  • If I have peace with God forever, I can graciously endure temporary hardship, drawing on the strength of the One with whom I’m united.

During this final week leading to Christmas 2011, let us savor our Savior. Let us treasure the innumerable benefits that are ours in Christ.  And let us not hesitate to explain the riches available to all those who turn to Him. The next time someone asks, “Are you ready for Christmas?” why not flip the question around to? :

“Yes, thanks for asking.  What about you?  What thrills you about the birth of Christ?”

Maybe the different response might give them pause long enough to hear some good news.

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