What makes me happy?  What I know!

August 29, 2024

Maria God as helper, God's Peace, Psalm 146, suffering, Trusting God, Truth , , , 1 Comment

Have you ever read or listened to the classic kids’ book The Adventures of Pinocchio, by C. Collodi? He wrote it in 1881 as separate chapters for a children’s magazine before it was published in book form two years later. Mike is reading it out loud for his You Tube channel Papa Mike Reads Children’s Classics. I listen to a chapter at a time, as he uploads them, while doing my morning stretching routine.

Earlier this week, I enjoyed the account of how the repentant yet always backsliding marionette hops on the wagon traveling to the ‘Land of Toys’ where boys don’t have to go to school nor are there any books.  Allegedly, all day and every day they play and have fun.  The journey to this naughty boy’s paradise turns out to be very difficult and uncomfortable. The boys are packed like sardines into a donkey-driven wagon where it’s insufferably hot. They have no food or drink.

In any other circumstances they would have grumbled and jumped off the wagon. Surprisingly they keep each other in high spirits talking up what awaits them. Not a murmur nor a negative comment taint their anticipatory good cheer.

Why? Because of what they know.

Their emotionally-charged happy image of what awaits them softens the hours of traveling discomfort.  Knowing their happy destination makes all the difference.

The same can be true of us. What we know about our God, and our savior, along with our sure and certain future in God’s Kingdom, a place FAR better than what awaits these wayward boys, should kill off any discontent and give us a peaceful and calm attitude.

One of the readings on Tuesday was this psalm:

But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God. Psalm 146: 5 NLT

For my benefit, so I could really grasp it, I rewrote this verse to read:

Happy is the one who has a helper who is God and who KNOWS he has one.  Happy is the one who then counts on his helper, the one and only true God.

The verses that follow describe just what kind of helper we have.  The psalmist reminds us of how powerful, good, kind and faithful our God is.

What struck me, resonating with my soul, was that it’s knowing this promise and accepting it as FACT that creates a solid state of peace and contentment. As long as I keep recalling and thinking about what I know to be true, this reality that is God, I can put up with difficult, obstacle-producing circumstances. Knowledge makes all the difference.

For example, when I was pregnant with each of our sons and going through labor, knowing the outcome that awaited me on the other side of the pain helped. Then there have been those times of suffering and frustration in both relationships and work that have taught me the same.  I’ve learned over the decades that no matter the present misery, if the forecasted outcome is delightful or help is available, or I can know and understand the reason for the suffering, I can more easily deal with the pain, pressure and even fear.

Every day you and I live the reality that all of life is uncertain. The market goes up and down. Our kids find themselves included by friends or on the outside.  Our bosses come and go. Health varies. There’s nothing created by us or by God that can bring us perpetual satisfaction. He himself, as God, is our satisfaction. But we have to believe that.

So, if you want to be happy, then write down what you are certain of, what you know.  And focus on that. Since God is God, his characteristics won’t change. His promises to you won’t waver.  And your future is more amazing than you can imagine.

It’s what (and who) you know that makes you happy.

I’m a slow learner in God’s school of Holiness

April 25, 2024

Maria Forgiveness, Genesis 3, Holiness, Philippians 1, Romans 7, Sin , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15 ESV

I don’t know when I started realizing that what I was learning in God’s ‘school of holiness training’ was not sticking. Naively, I assumed that once I ‘learned my lesson’ and practiced the new behavior, I could move on to something else.  At a certain age, maybe in my 40s, I began to see that Jesus was recycling past teaching points over and over. When I would mention this phenomenon to some older-in-the-faith Christians, they would flash a gentle, but knowing smile of agreement.

For example, I’d have victory over fear by God’s grace, only to fall back into imagining the future as though it were up to me and my limited resources.  How embarrassing that I could forget what had I had painfully learned not that long ago about the sin of fear.

Or, I would have been gently chastised by Jesus for boasting and talking too much about Maria, repented and relished one, maybe two victories.  Only to catch myself repeating the same self-centered behavior. 

The Holy Spirit reminded me this week of another sin pattern that I have yet kill. My sometimes-patronizing attitude with Mike.

To the woman he said, “……. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 NIV

It happened like this.  The other night, Mike started to share with me how discouraged he felt about his YouTube channel where he reads children’s classics out loud. He has a good voice for reading, is skilled at narrating, recording and editing audio books. This channel is his gift to anyone who loves to be read to. He does it without seeking compensation.

What was causing him to feel pessimistic and disheartened? The relative few views of some recent videos. 

Instead of listening quietly with love and compassion, I launched into ‘Parent Mode’, practically interrogating him on his motives for starting the channel. And how he should not only not look at his YouTube analytics, but should also go out into the community and find children or senior adults who would love to be read to.

Had he asked for my advice?

What motivated me to be so didactic instead of gentle and patient, intent only on understand his feelings?

It was Eve’s sin, that of wanting to rule over, to shape and mold her husband according to HER image of what he should be like.  I’ve done this numerous times. It is disrespectful and puts distance between us. 

I could tell that I had gone too far but I tried to cover for myself by saying, “I’m so glad we have reached the point in our marriage where we can speak the ‘truth in love’ to one another.  Afterall, I give you permission to speak into my life, too! “

You need to know that Mike NEVER treats me this way. If he thinks I am doing something wrong, he’ll tell me directly.  He won’t manipulate and hide his ulterior motives like I do.

I went on trying to soften my ‘lecture’ by adding, ‘Keep adding more content to your channel. This is a really good and worthy project.  It doesn’t matter if it only benefits a few people. It’s your gift to others, however many or few.”

Poor Mike didn’t know how to deal with the mixed messages I was sending.  

With no real resolution, we transitioned by watching a Netflix series we like while eating our supper. The evening passed without any more discussion on that topic.

That night, I couldn’t sleep.  God gave me severe leg cramps and some arthritic pain. When I sat down with him yesterday morning, he had my full attention.  It was only then that I saw my sin. And felt shame, remorse and pain for how I had hurt Mike.

What made it harder to swallow was that this is not the first time I have ‘scolded’ my husband.  This is neither loving nor honoring to him, nor to God the Father who created him nor to Jesus who died for him.

When Mike got up a while later, I immediately confessed my shameful display and asked him to forgive me.  He was so gentle and comforting to me.  I also asked him to pray for me to be the kind of wife God intends.

With each lesson repeat, I see how gracious and patient the Holy Spirit is with us.  Yes, we fail. Yes, we have to relearn lessons and practice new patterns of thinking and acting. The good news that brings me peace is this assurance, this promise:

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6 NLT