Something I read in Oswald Chambers the other morning (4 June) struck a chord.  “Am I simply repeating what God says, or am I learning to truly hear him and then to respond after I have heard what he says.”  What the Holy Spirit did with his words is pull back the curtain to show me how many fleeting, but negative notions circulate daily in my mind.  His revelation to me doesn’t directly connect with Oswald’s quote, but it’s what Jesus directed me to examine.

Holy cow!  I really do look at or evaluate my life as a glass half empty. You wouldn’t pick that up about me, for I present as an upbeat, positive encouraging gal. Even my husband registered surprise when I told him. 

Two of these running, disparaging and negative ‘tapes’ that I choose to play over and over are: 

  • We don’t have as many friends as most people…. or

We should do more with friends…. or Are we engaging enough with friends?

  • We don’t grandparent as well as others…. or What can we do to stay more in touch with our grandkids…. or What plans can we make right now to be with our grandkids?

With that God-directed realization of bad thinking, I asked Jesus’ forgiveness for declaring (even if just in my mind) and meditating on what is false, what is not true.

In reality, if I’m being objective, Mike and I actually DO have lots of friends and stay in contact with them. In fact we are traveling to England this summer specifically to see and be with friends.  And as far as our 6 grandchildren who don’t live near us, we DO see them when we can.  We DO keep in touch with them. We DO pray for them and let them know that.

What do you do when you find yourself consistently ruminating on negative and probably false thoughts? How do you escape? Because if we don’t do anything, we simply live in that dark place.

As I reflected on Oswald’s words, especially the second half “… am I learning to truly hear him and then to respond after I have heard what he says?”, the idea to thank Jesus for the friends and grandkids he has given us struck me.

Sitting out on our back patio, with the crowded birdfeeder busy with God’s hungry creation, birds and squirrels, I started a stream of thanksgiving. It was easy.  Immediately I felt lighter and my mood lifted.

That was a lightbulb moment, for sure.  All I had to do was switch the perspective. Actually, say the opposite. I found it easy to add on numerous other gifts the Lord has offered me.  

Here’s another example. Sometimes I feel squeezed and downhearted thinking about all the tasks I have self-assigned. So, I started thanking God for the time he has given me as well as other blessings:

I’m retired. I have the freedom to plan my days. I GET to grocery shop weekday mornings.  I GET to clean house with Mike on a weekday, instead of weekends. I GET to maintain contact with the many friends I have.  I GET to practice my languages and meet new people.

Over the past 3 days, I have turned my resolution to ‘take every thought captive’ into a prayer. “Father, help me to NOTICE persistent negative thought patterns so I can declare the exact opposite and turn them into thanksgivings.”

So far, this is working.  At the gym this morning, I caught myself stewing about ‘grandkids’.  And by grace, I was able to immediately turn that around and thank God FOR these precious children.

I know it’s going to take some time and much practice to create new grooves in my brain. But it’s never too late. And the immediate relief I get from thanking our good Father is reward enough for now.