Waiting as worship

February 2, 2014

Maria Endurance, Heaven, Impatience, Joy, Luke, Patience, Prayer, Soul growth, Uncategorized , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Last week I took up the topic of decision-making…

and claimed that there were 2 categories. The first kind I developed had to do with reliance on a subjective FEELING to guide a choice.  I shared how our son stressed over 2 ‘good’ choices: stay at the current college or transfer.  He couldn’t decide off the bat, so as a new Christian, he tossed the decision into God’s lap and asked Him to give him a sign.  This divine nod would be a sense of knowing or perhaps peace about one path over the other. The second category of decisions involved one in which I had made up my mind to LEAVE my current school.  What I was asking God for concerned timing, when I would  budge.

I’ve been reflecting about our most current set of decisions that faced my husband and me.  As I have written about before, we decisively chose to leave Virginia, after raising our boys and burying my dad. We actually had TRIED to move multiple times once my care-dependent father died in 2006.  Mike was gazing at 6 1/2 more years of civil service in a joy-less, energy-sapping environment.  And God kept shutting those doors, by NOT granting Mike a civil service job elsewhere.

(The ‘un-success’ of 3-5 job applications over a period of several years is actually encouraging. It tells me that God intervenes when our prayerful attempts to move in a direction are NOT His plan)

But when we chose to move to Western North Carolina, the doors did swing open.  We took our time, studied the situation, prayed continually, fixed up our house, did a job search for a French-teaching job for me and looked for a mountain cabin we could afford.  In addition, Mike prepared and launched a consulting business that would combine his skill set, his experience, and his contacts over the previous 38 years since he matriculated into West Point.

The decisions were made – the waiting began.

Here’s is what I’m learning:

All of life is waiting.  As obedient children, we ask God for something (He commands us to pray for what we need!)…we wait…the waiting comes to an end, one way or another.  We move on to the next need(s).

But there is a godly way to wait and a sinful wait to wait.  We can be SO focused on what we are waiting for, that IT becomes more important to us than God!  Not only does that profoundly insult God and reduce Him to a blessing machine, it robs US of fellowship with Him and much joy.

A beloved friend wrote this about waiting:

Who would’ve thought that “waiting” is part of God’s plan and is for our excitement and pleasure!

Hundreds of books have probably been written on prayer and waiting, but I’ll leave you with one thought as I close this piece, (and by the way, God DID sell our house, procure me a job and lead us to a perfect cabin up in the hills- we’re still waiting for Mike’s clients as he faithfully does all he can!).

Waiting has to do with patience.  And the New Testament often uses the term, ENDURANCE, to mean patience. Strong’s Greek #5281 (hypomone) can be translated AS : “a patient, steadfast waiting for”.  Now with that in mind, read this verse from Luke 21:19: By your patience, you will gain your souls.

God wants us to develop that permanent part of us, our soul,  that moves into eternity.  Doesn’t that put a different spin on our decisions, our prayers, our waiting?  All of life is waiting because all of a Christian’s life is soul-development.  But waiting doesn’t have to preclude enjoying God’s presence each moment on Earth.  Why not seek Joy in God daily? Isn’t that what awaits us in heaven – closer and more multi-dimensional fellowship with God, joy IN His presence?

I believe that ALL our prayer requests, whether they have to do with trials or desires, are meant to grow our patient trust in Him.  And that quiet confidence grows our souls.  So whether I’m waiting for this or that, I pray that the Holy Spirit will remind me that I can worship God NOW, in the moment, in the midst of waiting.  I don’t want to miss a single gift.  I want my life to SHOW that HE is what I value most, NOT the thing I’m waiting for.

Your debt – whom do you owe?

August 11, 2013

Maria Christ's work on the Cross, Debt, Heaven , , , , , , 2 Comments

What do you do with your debt?

A pastor for Redeemer Presbyterian in NYC told a story that connected with many listeners who held advanced degrees.  As the story goes, a man owed $150,000 in college loans.  ‘Out of nowhere’ appeared an anonymous benefactor who paid it off in one fell swoop!!  That good news has been part of this man’s story ever since.

I actually have a friend who experienced a similar blessing.  While working as a librarian and going to school part-time to earn a bachelors’ degree, Joanne took an interest in one of the library patrons.  She would greet him by name, ask about his life and help him.  One day he handed her a check and paid off all her college loans!  The man whom she thought was ‘down & out’ dressed shabbily because he was thrifty by choice!   His unexpected gift is now part of Joanne’s story.

We are often taken back by über-generosity.  But if we’re Christians, why do we act so blasé about what God has done for us, in cancelling our ‘GI-NOR-MOUS’ debt? 

I was reading a helpful explanation of why our sin deserves death. We have committed 2 capital crimes:

  • blashphemy – we have usurped God who deserves our worship and proclaimed, “No – I’m my own God/ final authority in my life!”
  •  treason – we have been disloyal to this King and disobeyed his rules, ‘kinda’ like Snowden who gave away state secrets.

Since GUILTY is the correct assessment of our crimes and as much as we deserve the automatic sentence death, we should be stunned by the mercy offered.

And lest you complain that God is UNFAIR to treat us so well, punishment is meted out and served by our divine substitute.  On top of that, our bank account of righteous deeds IS filled to the brim; we come to God with a record of ‘perfection’.

Why ‘perfection’?  Because that is the only standard that gets you in the door of heaven.  Removal of guilt + a perfect record of righteous deeds are the requirements for entry in God’s presence.  We get both if we accept Jesus’ mind-boggling offer to act as our sin-bearer-away and also our righteous-deed proxy.

But then what? What is so good about:

  • Forgiveness
  • Sufficient saving faith
  • Justification
  • Eternal life with God and not separation?

I realize now that we stop short.  We think that they are the end in themselves.

Pastor John Piper offered a new thought this morning.  He said that the ultimate good news is that BECAUSE of forgiveness and justification, we get to be face-to-face with God, in His presence. His presence will be the source of joy and delight.

Physical pleasures like sex and food and reading and massage are one dimensional.  The pleasures we will be capable of experiencing when we can see God face to face are categorically different.

Think of what God says via the psalmists:

  • Psalm 16:11 ….In your presence is fullness of joy, at your right side are pleasures ever more.
  • Psalm 36:8  …You let them drink from your river of delights.   
  • Psalm 37:4 ….the Lord will give you the desires of your heart.

I can’t end this rumination without mentioning the classic quote CS Lewis:

“It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased.” (The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses)

And PS:  why not brag about that big debt that SomeOne paid off for you!!

When life feels blah

July 7, 2013

Maria Attitude, Ecclesiastes , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I read a blog recently where the young 20-something author said that she appreciates loneliness & pain because at least she knows she’s alive at those moments.

Mike and I were savoring a coffee at one of Historic Waynesville’s ‘café-cum-curio’ boutiques when I asked him how he thought this gal might describe the OPPOSITE of her painful – but alive times.  He offered that maybe she lived depressed in the Ecclesiastes-type sense (Life is meaningless, even and ESPECIALLY after you’ve tasted all of Life’s goodies).  And that pain (perhaps she’s a cutter??) is welcome in the midst of the numbness of depression.

These reflections on pain, aliveness & deadness nestled themselves in the midst of some recent thoughts on ‘blah-ness’.

I’m a peppy, perky optimist 95 % of the time, but the other day I was feeling blah.  Zero perkiness as in “I’m excited about XYZ!”  I wasn’t excited about ANYTHING.

But, God be praised, because of some readings that the Holy Spirit has led me through in recent years, I was able quickly to remember and apply one of CS Lewis’ philosophies:

“The Christian says, ‘Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or to be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

When the blahs DO strike, we can console ourselves with the truth that SOON, we will be in a land where there are NO blahs.

In other words, there is NO need to be depressed about feeling depressed.  It’s part and parcel of living in a physically and morally fallen world. Our mental state is more connected to our physical condition than we acknowledge:

  • How did I sleep last night?
  • Do I feel fat this morning?
  • Am I constipated?
  • Am I worried about a twinge or a growing mole?

Our mental state is ALSO influenced by many temporary circumstances:

  • Will we be able to pay our bills?
  • What if our cat Leia doesn’t get better?
  • What if my new job is more demanding than I have anticipated?
  • What if Mike can’t find any paying clients?

Only by talking to ourselves and re-membering / re-hearsing / re-peating God’s truths can we hold on to the correct perspective so we can value the permanent and hold the temporary more loosely.

And the good news is that those moments when we DO feel alive/hopeful/ excited, they are VERY real fore-tastes of life to come.  They’re not meant to taunt us but to reassure us and make us long all the more for eternal life with the happy triune God.

Addicted to calm waters

November 11, 2012

Maria Contentment, Peace, Uncategorized , , , , Leave a comment

As I write this, Calvin seems better. His downward spiral after some routine surgery led to the vet calling me during my 8th grade logic class. Either he had serious neurological problems or he was a member of a tiny percentage of cats allergic to that particular antibiotic.  Dr. Crist gently mentioned, “If this is a neurological issue, euthanasia might be the kindest option.”

As the tears welled up and I reached for tissues, my 24 budding adults didn’t know quite what to do.  Through sniffles and a tight throat, I explained what the vet had said and what God was teaching me through this experience.  Friday was another day colored by difficult circumstances that had been unfolding during the past two weeks.  Even before my mind absorbed the possibility of actually losing Calvin, God had been teaching me.

Negative lessons:

  • Functionally, I am addicted to a problem-free life.
  • I act as if my pets and family members are mine.
  • The more I need circumstances to go my way, the less I have of real peace.
  • I need trials and difficult circumstances to wean me off of false and damaging ideas.

Positive lessons:

  • I am a steward of anything that I previously looked at as ‘mine.’
  • I am here on Earth to do my Master’s bidding.
  • My desires for peace, health, comfort, rest are good and legitimate and given to me by God.  Where I go wrong is in expecting that they will be satisfied my way here on Earth.  But in heaven, I will be bowled over by how they are met.
  • If I have been bought (redeemed) and forgiven by God because of Jesus’ work on my behalf, then I have a new full-time and life-long calling.  I am a soldier AND ambassador in the Lord’s army.  My orientation must change.  It is no longer Maria’s life and Maria’s agenda and Maria’s desires.  I am a servant.
  • I am to put on HIS clothes and armor each day before going out to share the terms of peace with the remaining rebels who haven’t heard the news about the Conquering King.
  • I wear my wedding invitation to the divine, heavenly banquet.  When Maria died and was reborn by the Holy Spirit, her admittance to the Eternal Party was woven and sewn into her new self.  The blood-written letters lovingly spell out what awaits me.  One day I will be ushered into the presence of the Lamb and the Father.  It is THEN that I can relax.
  • In the meantime, like Jesus demonstrated 2000 years ago, my expectation should be to strip my cumbersome robe of Maria’s agenda, wrap a towel around my waist and wash the feet of those in my path.

Reading and personalizing an Andrew Murray quote on acquiescing to God’s sovereignly-sent trials has helped me.  I summarize what he wrote with 4 prepositions –   By, In, Under, For.

These troubled waters (picture roily seas like the kind Peter walked on) have been sent to me

  • BY GOD’S DIVINE APPOINTMENT
  • IN HIS KEEPING
  • UNDER HIS TRAINING
  • FOR MY GOOD, FOR THE LENGTH OF TIME HE SEES FIT

And what are troubled waters? –  Any circumstance that I don’t like, such as

– problems and disappointments

– delays and frustrations

– trouble and disaster

– sickness and death

– even evil

In short – unmet expectations.

Yet, I act and feel surprised when calm waters evaporate. I shouldn’t.  After all, didn’t Jesus affirm that we would have troubles in this life?  Why do I work so hard to avoid what is inevitable in a fallen world?

As bleak as the above might seem, we can take hope.  These trials are NOT a cosmic ‘whoops’.   God IS in charge.  The Fall is not a surprise.  He has ordained it and is using it for His purposes – His Good purposes.  We can trust Him.

So like Peter, to the extent that we keep our eyes and thoughts fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and trust Him to walk with us through the Valley and through rough waters, we will grow in experiencing His true peace.  NOT the peace that depends on circumstances.

PS:  If our desires won’t be satisfied until the next life, shouldn’t we be coaching our kids how to delay gratification?     

What you know makes you happy – Part 2 Weddings

February 4, 2012

Maria 2 Corinthians, Joy , , Leave a comment

Here’s my premise – what we know can make us joyful.  Not what we have, where we find ourselves in life, or even what we’re doing in our lives.

Think back to a happy trip or vacation or event that was still in your future.  It might have been your wedding, graduation, a change in jobs or an upcoming trip.  You’d wake up in the morning, search your mind and immediately feel excited/ content when you thought about this ‘happy occasion’ to come.  Yet your current circumstances might still have included:

  • A grey rainy morning
  • A final exam to get through
  • Bills to pay
  • An unpleasant job to rush off to
  • A host of chores awaiting you
  • Unresolved conflicts
  • A health problem

Yet…because of what you knew awaited you, you could still feel joyful.

Well here is what we can feed our minds and direct our thoughts to:  If we are in Christ, then an amazing inheritance awaits us.  Listen to how Spurgeon describes what the Father and the Son lovingly planned:

There was a time before all time when God only was, the uncreated, the only existent one.  The Divine Three – Father, Son, and Spirit –lived in blessed camaraderie with each other, delighting in each other.  Oh the intensity of the divine love of the Father to the Son….The Father’s love made him resolve to show forth the glory of his Son.  The mysterious story which has been gradually unfolded before us has only this one design – the Father would make known his love to the Son and make the Son’s glories to appear before the eyes of those whom the Father gave him.

Spurgeon continues to set the Fall and the plan of redemption in this context referring to ‘the countless hosts of elect souls, ordained forever to a joy exceeding bounds’ as the goal and purpose of Christ’s life and work on the cross.  We as Christians make up this ‘Bride’ for whom the Son died.  Spurgeon writes that our ‘destiny is so high that no language can fully describe it.  God only knows the love of God and all that it has prepared for those who are objects of it’ i.e:  us!!!!!

Now do you see how WHAT we know can make all the difference in how we feel?

This has come home to me in recent months as I have been memorizing and meditating on some chapters in 2 Corinthians.  You know that verse that goes, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not ourselves” (ch 4, vs 7)?  I now think that the treasure we have is this KNOWLEDGE.  For right before that verse Paul talks about how ‘the Gospel illumines the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ’

The Holy Spirit is the deposit that confirms or guarantees that this knowledge is true and reliable.  But it is knowing what awaits us that gives us power and joy no matter the trials we undergo.  Suffering IS part of this world, it’s not a ‘whoops’.  Only Christianity acknowledges that fact and sets it in a context we can live with rationally.

So, despite pain….. Evil …… suffering…. drudgery…. problems……injustice and a whole plethora of awful things that make up this world:

So, despite beauty….. Love…..kindness…..loveliness…creativity….uncanny unselfishness and a whole host of wonderful things that make us want to cling to what is good and right with this world:

..let us consciously set our minds on what IS guaranteed and IS unchanging and IS more than we can ask or imagine, our inheritance in heaven, the wedding banquet planned for us, the Bride of Christ.  To make a very earthy comparison, we can be like the boy who whistled while mucking out horse manure from the barn, knowing that a pony awaited him.

*quotes from Randy Alcorn’s  book, We Shall See God – Charles Spurgeon’s classic devotional thoughts on Heaven  (2011 Eternal Perspectives Ministry)

Weddings, Part 1: Lewis and Logic

January 30, 2012

Maria sacraments, Sin , , , Leave a comment

One is either pregnant or not pregnant.  One is either in Christ or not.

Just as you can’t be a little pregnant, you can’t be a little Christian. Nonetheless, it should not surprise us that pregnant and non- pregnant women could exhibit similar symptoms, i.e. craving for pickles.  We would not necessarily conclude about a pickle-loving friend that he or she must be expecting a child.

So also it is possible that non-Christians can be kind and generous. Their commendable behavior, however, does not make them Christian. But my point is not about examining someone to see if they are Christian, but to assert that there is no sliding scale for determining whether one is in Christ. There are truly only 2 groups of people: Christians and non-Christians. The Law of Non-Contradiction explains God’s logic.  You can’t be X and non-X at the same time.

Why is this important?  Because God has proscribed how we are to treat both kinds of people.

CS Lewis broke into my consciousness when my mother, as a new Christian, lamented the fact that she could not make sense of Mere Christianity, that it was too deep for her.  My first personal introduction to Lewis was reading the Chronicles of Narnia to Graham the summer he was 8.  We took advantage of Wes’ naptime to lose ourselves in the magical world of Aslan and the adventures of the Pevensie children.

Then I, myself, journeyed through Mere Christianity with the help of a weekly group at my former school.  I moved on through Surprised by Joy, The Abolition of Man and The Great Divorce as well as devotionals based on Lewis excerpts.  But what has renewed by delight and lifted my thoughts heavenward is a collection of essays named for the first, Weight of Glory.

Here is Lewis’ stunning and arresting premise: there are no ordinary humans.

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously – no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.”

Lewis continues by starkly laying on his reader the burden of considering first how we treat each person we encounter.  We are either helping them heavenward or assisting them toward the horror of Hell.  And if that thought were not enough, he goes over the top with this addendum, “Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object present to your senses.”

So….what are we to do?

I was thinking about how we Christians are like members of the bridal party, getting ready for the big event that actually is not about us, but Jesus and His Church.  We’ve all been invited and are considered valuable participants.  When we criticize a brother or sister in Christ for not being strong or gifted in a particular manner like us, we are acting ridiculously.  Instead of sniping at one another, we should marvel at the other’s differences and thank our creative Lord.

My normal reflex is to be the Pharisee who prides herself in being good at X, unlike my fellow Christian/ fellow bridal party member who obviously doesn’t have it together in MY area of strength.  My busy gloating, secret smugness and touch of disdain prevent me from seeing her God-assigned role and her God-endowed gifts.

And what about those unfortunate souls not including in the bridal party, how are we to treat them?  Actually it is possible that we are incorrect in our assessment. So since we are not privy to the Heavenly Wedding Plans of Christ and His Bride, we would do well to treat all neighbors as possible fellow participants.  Kindness is never wasted.

Next week – Weddings Part 2:   God and Love

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

May 5, 2011

Maria Fear, John , , , Leave a comment

The other day a dear friend was sharing how happy he feels since becoming engaged to a wonderful woman.  But he admitted to a bit of anxiety, waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.  It seems that he lives with a fair amount of cognitive dissonance that comes from maintaining a public persona.  As a PK (pastor’s kid) he perfected his public performance as a charming, considerate and gracious son, in contrast (per his mom’s repeated messages) to his ‘normal’ behavior at home.  What does his not uncommon childhood have to do with his current happiness?

In his mind, I think, he has made his current blessing from God conditional on his maintaining his ‘good’ self. After all, we are trained to work for rewards.   Deep down inside he feels unworthy and he knows he is not the good person he projects.  What if he can’t keep up his performance?  Will the rewards be taken away?   Besides this fundamental unworthiness, there is also fear; fear that if people REALLY knew him, they would reject him.  So fear of losing what makes him happy and fear of possible shame create a small lurking cloud of potential suffering.

Jesus says that if we know the truth, the truth will set us free. (Romans 8:32) To my friend and all of us who feel guilty, hear the good news:  We ARE guilty…we ARE bad….far worse than we admit.  This suspicion that we are truly bad is based on truth. And God doesn’t worry about our self-image.  He tells us straight up. He glances at all the good stuff we do and says through Isaiah (64:6) that our best deeds are like filthy rags to him.  How’s THAT for not mincing words!!!

But God (2 great words) loves us anyway.  He is willing to cover us (remember Adam & Eve when they felt ashamed because of their sin?).  And in order to protect our dignity as image-bearers, He is willing to shed another’s blood (an animal in the Garden; his son on a hill).

How is that truth freeing to us?  Because we no longer have to pretend to ourselves that we are good.  And since EVERY other human on this planet is just as guilty and evil as we are, why pretend with OTHERS?   Think of the energy freed up by not having to maintain two Selves?

Now what about the blessings?  Fear of losing someone we love is natural.  One becomes vulnerable when one loves.  Just get a pet or have a baby; you know what I mean!  So suffering is inevitable.  We can’t prevent it.  But we CAN know that it is not random.  All suffering is filtered through God’s hands.  And He promises to be with us in the midst of suffering.

I’ll leave you with a thought about how to view suffering.  Tim Keller quoted a Jonathan Edwards sermon on contentment.  Summarizing Edwards, Keller wrote that contentment or peace depend on knowing deep down inside three things:

  1. All the bad stuff in our life God uses and brings good out of it for us
  2. All the truly good stuff in our life, we can never lose, such as…

a)   The fact our names are written in God’s book of life

b)   The fact that we’re justified and have been adopted by Him and have a huge inheritance that we  can draw on even now

c)    The fact of Christ’s intercession for us at God’s right hand

3. The best is yet to come!

So dear friend and to all of us…fear not!

Jumping for Joy

January 11, 2011

Maria 1 Peter, Joy , 2 Comments

1 Peter 1:6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now, for a little while, you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

‘Agalliao’ literally means to jump for joy.  Translators have drained off the very enthusiasm, sucked the brimming delight out of the original Greek.

What makes you deliriously happy?  Sometimes I glance at the gym’s TVs when I’m on the treadmill.  If I’m working out around 4 pm, Oprah used to be on.  Have you ever caught that show on one of her ‘goodie-give-away days’?  You’d think the women had just been told that a tumor is benign or something a little more significant.  But it’s just stuff that has them stirred up.

Or how about Superbowl Sunday in America?  An unpredictable upset can send the winning team’s fans into orbit.  I’ve never witnessed a Mega-Lottery winner’s initial reaction at the news of his change of fortune, but I can picture it.  They say the giddiness of the good news wears off as greedy distant relatives emerge and concrete decisions overwhelm the winner.

So why should you & I as believers, as God’s chosen children, jump for joy every day?  For starters, let’s consider some facts:

  • We have been permanently saved from the fiery grip of Hell’s demons
  • We have a guaranteed inheritance that is waiting for us in heaven. (I really can’t imagine all that might entail, but I am assured by God’s word that it is beyond human imagination.  And it must be VERY good, if Christ were willing to die so we could share in it.)
  • Remarkable  accounting transactions.  As a believer, Jesus’ righteousness counts for me and my sins have been transferred to him. What a deal!
  • God’s supernatural presence, power, protection, provision and all his possessions are mine in this present life -1 Cor 3:21b – ‘for all things belong to you (believers).’
  • God also gives me purpose for living in this present life (we were created to enjoy bringing Him glory) and guaranteed work/purpose in the Kingdom of God that is beyond this worldly concept of TIME.  We won’t float around in unending boredom strumming harps and polishing our halos – we’ll be busy with significant work.
  • God brings meaning to suffering and promises justice for wrongs done us.
  • God promises to work/weave the ‘all things’ (the suffering and injustices done us and our loved ones) into the fabric of our story that will bring Him glory and us eventual joy.

Dear Lord, the next time someone asks, “Maria, how are you doing?” may I remember to let them in on a little secret…that I’m turning cartwheels when I think what awaits me.  Let me NOT be afraid to share the good news that is available to them as well.  There are plenty of invites left for those who want to receive God’s enduring ‘goodies’.  And the joy will not fade within minutes/ hours or days from receiving this blood-stained invitation.  Don’t forget to ‘RSVP’!

 

Longings and disappointments – a middle-aged perspective

December 24, 2010

Maria Ephesians, Hope, Peace, Psalm 16, Thinking Leave a comment

Psalm 16:11  You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

Sometimes I think about my dreams, the things I still long for but realistically probably won’t see or experience now that I am 53.  I love foreign languages.  One of my most favorite things to do is to speak and learn more about a language.  French is the language I know best, so I love it the most.  Then comes German, for I lived in Germany several times as a child and young adult.  I studied Russian in college and have recreationally played with Spanish.  Any of them are fun and I would probably feel the same way were I to learn Turkish or Chinese.  The pleasure that comes from communicating with others and discovering interesting aspects of the language runs deep with me.

My teenage dream was to marry a Swiss man, not because there is anything inherently special about the character of the Swiss.  What the Swiss have going for them are 4 national languages.  If I lived in Switzerland, my children would have been at least tri-lingual, or so my pipe dream went.

But thanks be to God who superintends and directs my life.  I am grateful that before the foundation of the world He selected Michael to be my husband.  And Mike does speak some German and is very willing and eager to grow his French vocabulary.  He is a dear man who encourages me.

Yet, here I live in Newport News, Virginia.  It’s not France.  But I do work in my area of passion.  God has been kind and provided a vocation of teaching French.  I have travelled some and both our sons learned French. Yet….my dream still is to live again in a French-speaking (or other language) area, where I could speak daily in a different language.

So I was pondering longings, gifting and God’s reason for blessing us with them.  I’m sure each one of you could quickly talk about something you had thought you might be doing by now, an unfulfilled dream.  Maybe it is for a certain family status, or career position or opportunity to use a talent.  Maybe you expected your health to last longer.

Here is what I have concluded.  This life, as the Bible teaches us, is brief and fleeting, as James reminds us in 4:14 – Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

But, for believers, for those redeemed and rescued by Christ, we have eternity with God to look forward to.  And maybe, just maybe, the interests/talents/desires/longings planted in us might be meant for fruition in the later life, the one that will last forever.

Maybe my facility and enjoyment of foreign languages will be satisfied when I share in praising God with brothers and sisters from other tribes and nations?  Maybe my husband’s joy in singing and using his voice will find its full expression in heaven. Maybe his pleasure in thinking and writing clearly will be heightened beyond his expectations as he records God’s thoughts or communicates something required by God.

Randy Alcorn has written a book about Heaven, entitled just that.  He paints a picture of saints being very busy in the next life.  His scenarios are biblically based even if they are a bit stretched or amplified.  But who is not to say that the good work that God began in us here on earth is not part of a much larger blueprint?  Is it unimaginable that our particular personality, skills and interests would be part of a master plan that goes WAY beyond what we have thought?

So let us choose NOT to be discouraged, NOT to sigh with longings unfulfilled and NOT to settle for the ‘realistic’ view.  Remember that God is able “….to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Eph 3:20-21)

Merry Christmas!

 

Reflections on the state of Dad’s soul

June 6, 2010

Maria Philippians, Reflections , , , Leave a comment

Philippians 1:6 – being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus

We’re back from the funeral for Mike’s dad who died after a yearlong journey with cancer.  He was a retired Episcopal bishop living in Seattle, an Episcopalian all his life.  We, too, were brought up in the Episcopal Church.  But once my husband, I and our two sons started to grow in the knowledge of the Word about 10 years ago, (being transformed by the renewing of our minds à la Romans 12:2), we left the Episcopal church at different rates. Graham (age 27) & Wes (age 22) exited with no regrets once they moved on to college. Mike and I took a slower route, transferring first to a more orthodox-believing Episcopal Church and then finally altogether out of TEC (the Episcopal Church) in April 2009.  We now worship with all our minds and hearts, at home in a Reformed PCA community (Presbyterian Church of America). Our boys are not affiliated with any denomination, their only criterion being – does the church preach the Bible?

When Dad died we all hoped he was a believer.  He was the kind of man who didn’t seem to want to talk about his faith beyond the superficial.  Knowing that he was dying, I flew out in April during my spring break.  I prayed that I would have an opportunity to share about the Hope that awaits us.  He had to go the hospital during my 4–day visit, so we didn’t get to talk much.  I did ask my mother-in-law if she and Dad shared much about heaven.  Sadly to me, she said that they had talked only about funeral details and that she wasn’t going to bring up weightier issues if he didn’t.

When I left Dad in the hospital, parting for what I knew would be the last time on this earth, he seemed sweetly serious.  I told him I would see him again, either here in Seattle or in heaven.  He understood and affirmed the same.

Graham and his family were the next to fly out to Seattle. I thought, if ANYone can share the Gospel and be sure they were saved or at least sure that they heard the Word of God in all its fullness, then Graham could.  He is a worship leader with a student ministry down at the University of South Florida in Tampa.  But he, too, encountered pushback from his grandparents, the reaction of a couple who didn’t want to engage in something out of their comfort zone.

Then Mike flew out the first week of May to visit his dad, arriving about 10 hours before Dad actually died.  Mike took his Bible and read a few chapters out loud from Romans and from the Gospel of Mark.  Dad was mostly in and out of consciousness, but Mike’s mom was beside his bed and alertly engaged in a discussion about the Gospel.  She apparently doesn’t believe in a God of wrath – only the God of love in the New Testament.  At least we know where she stands.

The funeral was delayed 3 weeks to give us time to celebrate with Wes the end of his four years at West Point.  Mike, Wes, Graham & I flew back out to Seattle over Memorial Day weekend.  We had a lot of time to pray and to seek closure about where Dad actually is – in the presence of God or not.

The service, in its typical Episcopal liturgical style, was full of words that were very biblically sounding.  Unfortunately, many Episcopalians are ignorant of their original meaning due to the pernicious liberal movement in church scholarship, dating back to the end of the 19th century.  The church is focused NOT on the good news of God’s provision for our most serious problem- that we are saved from His justifiable wrath by Jesus dying for our sins.  Instead today’s Episcopal Church preaches the gospel of social justice. Furthermore, political peace and environmentalism are seen as pressing problems for the Church to address.

Yet, I came away from the funeral with hope for the man who had been my father-in-law for 30 years. Although we never had a serious discussion about the Bible or about God, I do think he was a believer.  But the state of his eternal soul was NOT helped by a church which continually re-interpreted its own doctrine, a set of beliefs that he had pledged to support first as a young deacon in 1951, then as a fully-ordained  priest,  and finally as a consecrated bishop in 1976.  Yet almost despite the Episcopal Church, he had sucked out basic truths from the Bible.  I saw this in the detailed instructions he left for his funeral, setting the tone with a theme that was centered on the Resurrection.  The scripture readings in particular were chosen to point all of us to the truth of life with Jesus after death.

I thank the Lord for His assurance that my father-in-law is in heaven.  Since our God is one who does more than we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20) I am praying that not only does my mother-in-law come to a saving faith, but my brother-in-law too and many who were in that gathering of 500 in Seattle.  The words my brother-in-law delivered in the eulogy were Gospel truth.  He labored over them as an act of love, a gift to his father.  Since God’s word is alive and full of power, I am hopeful that these words of truth will not return void to the Lord, but will actually convert Steve.  After all, faith comes from hearing the word of Christ.  I’ve read of an English preacher who became converted while delivering one of his own sermons he was preaching.  I am counting on God to do the same for Steve.  May many others present in that service also come to a saving faith in the Lord.

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