Men and women are different? You’re telling me!

July 21, 2013

Maria Romans, Sanctification , , , , Leave a comment

 

I should be used to it by now, my husband being annoyed with me!

But after 33 years, I still don’t like it.  I want him to view me as perfect. Trouble is, I’m a woman and I think like one.  The other day we took my car, the one with 118,000 miles on it, to do errands because Mike was going to run it through the car wash.  I had mentioned to him that on our way home, I’d like to go up Rosemount Drive near our house.  Some ladies at the ‘Balsam Babes Breakfast’ (annual summer highlight for a rural mountain hamlet in Western NC) had intrigued me with the story of a cross “just up” the 4 mile road commemorating the life of a Florida man’s daughter.

Seemed like a simple thing: just drive to the top of Rosemount.

I haven’t learned to decipher the Western North Carolinian language.  “It’s at the top of Rosemount” did not mean what I thought it did. In the clean car, we drove off the county-maintained paved road onto gravel, going higher and higher.  We also drove past Mike’s normal point of patience as he maneuvered the car round ever numerous turns.  That’s when he noticed the whining sound connected to the steering.

“Sounds like the transmission is going; climbing this hill isn’t good for the car; hear that whiny noise?” he glowered at me with a growl.

“Oh that?  I heard the same grinding and whining along the flat part of Interstate 40 last month when we convoyed from Newport News!”

After that ‘calming’ explanation, I sandwiched in apologies for leading him on a wild-goose chase.  I was doing my best to empathize with and soften his annoyance.  Did I tell you I don’t like it when he’s annoyed with me?

I continued, “You know, I have to drive to South Carolina on Sunday to catch my flight to the Dallas conference, do you think I’ll make it okay?”

“Hope so…..” he lobbed his annoyance back on my side of the court.

Mike, I’m really sorry…you paid $20 to have my car thoroughly cleaned.  I’d be annoyed too!

**

I won’t relate the rest of the conversation.  We never did find that cross…  I learned not to assume I understand Appalachian directions…..and Mike did some private talking to God later on his daily walk.  But, here’s what GOD did!

Because Mike HEARD a noise that was NOT good, we looked up transmissions on the internet and I called a local place and prayerfully made plans to take the car in on Thursday.   Transmission repairs or replacements are costly and we are vulnerable when it comes to knowing whom we can trust in a new community.  God provided!  The transmission guy quickly determined it was probably a power steering problem and referred me to a local mechanic up the road. (I pinned him down and rehearsed the verbal directions to my satisfaction!)

This mechanic turned out to be a Christian AND honest.  He ordered the part; I brought the car BACK to him on Friday and he fixed it.  Not only was my car prepared to make the drive to the Greenville/Spartanburg airport today, we found an honest local mechanic who can work on both our cars in the future.

Had I NOT led us on a wild goose chase; had Mike NOT been annoyed with the vague directions, the gravel dust and then the whiny sound, we would not have been blessed in such significant ways.

God DOES use all things to the good of those who are His, even annoyance. Why should I be bothered by the very natural reaction of a man living with a woman who doesn’t always think or communicate like he does?  Furthermore, why should we expect to live annoyance-free lives?

Here’s to God’s promise to… “cause all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

A door is opening

March 7, 2013

Maria Prayer, Psalm 84, Uncategorized , , , 2 Comments

Thank you for your prayers!

A door is opening.  I have been blessed with an upcoming interview for a French-teaching job in a middle school in Asheville.  Mike and I will drive down on Tuesday, 19 March and I will spend the next day, the 20th, visiting, interviewing and teaching a French lesson.

How am I keeping my stomach from the nervous butterflies?  By focusing my mind on God’s promise in Psalm 84: 11

The Lord is a sun and a shield; He gives grace & glory.  No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is upright.

  • Sun –He gives me light, energy, direction, growth
  • Shield – Jesus, the anointed one is my shield.  Without His covering, my sin would not let me be in God’s holy presence
  • Grace – I get God’s undeserved favor in unlimited ways
  • Glory – as a new creation ever since I ‘died’ in Feb 1987, was rescued by Jesus and transferred into the Kingdom of Light, I possess an inheritance and am looking forward to reveling in God’s glory as one of Jesus’ sisters.
  • (Skip over ‘good things’ for a moment)
  • Upright – because my trust is in Jesus’ wedding garment, I am free to stand up straight and look into God’s face. Each time I look down at myself or at my circumstances, I lose life-energy-joy. ‘Keeping the faith’ each day is a moment-by-moment re-orientation to what is true and right thinking.  I am only upright (blameless as another translation puts it) since I am unified with Christ.

Back to ‘good things’:   If this teaching job turns out to be a ‘good thing’ for me, according to God, then I will get the job.  He alone knows and sees all events.  If I don’t get this job, then I can know for certain, it was not a ‘good thing’.

What I’m going to say next might surprise you.  I first read Psalm 84:11 in the autobiography of George Müller.  This 19th century English pastor and hero of faith prayed this verse as his first wife lay dying.  And she died.  He took comfort in God’s promise that NO GOOD THING does He withhold from His people.

And George Müller was able to carry on with his children, his ministry and life.  He eventually married a second godly woman and was able to look back and see God’s hand, providentially guiding all circumstances.

Please continue to pray that I may represent myself and my abilities accurately, so that Carolina Day School can make the right decision for them.  I trust ‘my blessed Controller’ to continue His process of guiding me in this adventure.

By the way – We still need a buyer for our house!  But God has that under His happy control, too!    

The Logic of Love

November 18, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Sanctification, Sin, Thankfulness, Thinking, Uncategorized , , , , , 2 Comments

Logic won out the other day in our household.

My husband sometimes puts me up on a pedestal by thinking that I am ‘the more Godly’ of the two of us. (imagine THAT kind of argument:  “ No, I’m worse than you!  Here let me prove it to you….”)

He sometimes indulges in a kind of self-pitying spiral of feeling bad about himself. One evening last week, I nailed him with an undeniable deductive argument that was both valid and true.  He had to smile in spite of himself.  I was truly Holy-Spirit inspired, because I don’t think I would have come up with the proof myself.

My reasoning was this:

God only gives good and perfect gifts.

God gave me my husband.

Therefore, my husband is a good and perfect gift.

Now I’m not saying my husband is without sin.  I’m using the term ‘perfect’ to mean 100 % suited for me in every way, sent to bless me, to aid me in my sanctification.  I know, ‘sanctification’ is a fancy Christian-ese word. What it means is the process that is meant to “rub off the rough areas of your personality….train you in humility….give you practice in self-less living…..strengthen your submission muscle to make you teachable to God”

You see, learning to love Michael is helping me grow in holiness for, “….. without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14b

So no matter how difficult it gets living with another person, knowing that my heavenly Father picked him out for me, from before the creation of the universe, helps me accept more easily all that happens between us as coming from the hand of God.  This reasoning softens my approach and keeps me praying in the midst of a disagreement,

“Thank you, Father, for this painful encounter.  You mean this for my good.  May I see this as ‘gift’ and respond in the way you want me to.  Guide me. And bless my husband.  Thank you for him.”

I don’t always reason through like that.  In the heat of emotions, I can feel sorry for myself and get a chip on my shoulder with the best of you.  Remembering that God is in control of ALL that comes to us keeps my conclusions from veering off into ‘untruth’.   It’s also humbling and painful to think that God may be allowing my hurtful, sharp and ‘irrational’ remarks to wound my dearest friend for his own good.

Thankfully I can report, that the Holy Spirit is causing both of us to see and regret more quickly the pain we cause one another.  We are learning to repent and ask each other’s forgiveness within the same segment of the day, often within 30 minutes or fewer.

And more broadly speaking, why does God allow such sin?  One reason that I can see, is that the reconciliation Mike and I experience after hardness of heart is the sweetest sensation we have ever felt.  I think we are meant to taste and see in those moments the wonder of reconciliation with the Creator of all things, our Father and Eternal Logos.

So on this start of Thanksgiving week 2012; I give thanks to God for His gift of Michael Francis Cochrane.  “Je t’aime fort, mon petit ours!”

Not thinking about myself – what a relief

June 26, 2012

Maria Grace , , , , Leave a comment

I was listening to Tullian this morning.  His sermons are balm for my battered soul. Do you know that critical über-nanny who has perfected the knack for getting one to feel bad? Her thinks she lives in me – her name is ‘old slave-driver SELF’. I forget to keep kicking her out, now that the Holy Spirit lives in me.  Apparently the HS is such a gentleman that He waits for ME to act as a proper hostess should and show the ‘no-longer-welcome previous resident’ the door.

Anyway, Pastor Tchividjian loves to talk about Grace and I love to hear podcast sermons about Grace.  I can’t get enough of this topic.  I feel like a perpetually starving man whenever I am fed Gospel Grace.  I think it’s because I have lived so long in the Land of Law: “ Do this! Do that!” to be an okay Christian.

But what I heard this morning set me free…..for a spell.  Tullian was talking about how fruit is produced.  You don’t exhort a small apple tree seedling, “Grow some apples!”  Instead you water and fertilized the roots.  Likewise (per Tullian’s analogy), we shouldn’t command…..manipulate…… guilt……or browbeat ourselves OR other Christians into producing fruit (good works of joy, love, service…..).

Instead we should feed the roots of faith with the truth of the Gospel – the account and details of what Jesus has already done.

Tullian said that the more we examine ourselves to see if we are growing, we actually DON’T grow.  Christian growth happens when we take our eyes OFF of us and put them on Him!

All of a sudden I FELT the lightness of relief.  I actually HATE thinking about myself.  I get SICK of thinking about myself.  I spiral down DEPRESSED thinking about myself.

Then it occurred to me:  Maria – you don’t HAVE to think about yourself.  In fact it’s biblical NOT to.  Paul says we are to think about things that are “TNR PLA EP” (I actually say out loud – ‘tenor play, extended play’ to remind myself to think of topics that are True, Noble, Right, Pure, Lovely, Admirable, Excellent and Praise-worthy)

Recalling those attributes of topics worthy of meditation, I immediately responded, “Well, I’m certainly not Pure – only Jesus is – that’s a no-brainer!”

Then I realized, “then I don’t even QUALIFY to be on the hot topics list– whew!”

The last category of items to ponder is praise-worthy.  That fits well with the book I am slowly savoring, “one thousand gifts” by Ann Voskamp (read the book!)   Filtering my thoughts to allow only what is praise-worthy eliminates criticism and complaining and sets my eyes to look for beauty, blessings and miracles.

And what about problems, people and events about which I’m concerned and obviously have no control?  Paul has that covered.  We’re to cast them in our Father’s lap, thankful and confident that He can take care of all of them. We delegate them to God and look for His guidance and direction for action steps we are to take today.  If we are unsure, we talk to Him as we make the wisest choice for the moment, confident that He IS directing us to take the proper actions necessary for right now.

It’s far simpler than I make it out to be.  Here are some Gospel facts I want to swim in:

  • Keeping my eyes on Jesus, the blessed controller of all things
  • Christ in me, the hope of Glory
  • Forgetting all that is past….since there is now no condemnation
  • Walking and following the author and perfector of my faith
  • Setting my mind on things above where Christ is
  • Washed clean, no more robes of SELF, in my new birthday suit, clothed comfortably with HIS robes of righteousness, held in place with the belt of truth. (any lingering layers of self-righteousness just make the belt TIGHT)
  • Boasting only in Christ
  • Overflowing with thanks for having been chosen from before the creation of time
  • Qualified before time to be an inheritor of the eternal, imperishable treasure

What do you find praise-worthy?

 

 

2-way Grace – a distinction

June 19, 2012

Maria Grace, Philippians, Psalm 116, Psalm 131 , Leave a comment

I’ve heard it said that Grace is God’s one-way love.  I don’t intend to take away from that truth. Let’s just call it, “making a distinction.”

I love distinctions.  They help me sort out what I’m thinking; they give me an understanding of a concept.  Then it is mine.

Take the word ‘reasonable’.  It used to be a very good word.  But I didn’t know that until 2 years ago.  I grew up with the newer definition.  For example – if I asked to borrow 2 eggs from you and mentioned that I was going to the store the next day and would pay you back – that was a ‘reasonable’ request.  I wasn’t asking TOO MUCH from you – not like: “I need to borrow your one and only car for 3 days. May I please have the keys?”   Definitely UN-reasonable.

But reasonable doesn’t mean that at all!  Saying “yes” to Michael when he asked me to marry him after five weeks of dating happened to be a very REASONable decision.  He was both a philosopher and a good cook; we enjoyed spending lots of time outdoors together; we liked reading & travel; we worked in the same profession and he was cute!!  There you have it- 5 excellent REASONS and I haven’t even gotten warmed up!  That was a REASONABLE decision. (That ‘reasoning’ process took place 33 years ago, come September.)

Do you see why distinctions matter?

So it is with grace. God showers us with individual gifts called grace.  When we stop and notice them, SEE them and drink them in richly and then thank Him, not only are we pleasing our Father, we are enhancing our enjoyment of the gifts.

I saw this most closely yesterday as I was reading Phil 4: 6-7 in French.  That’s the exhortation not to worry about anything but to take every concern to God in prayer, with thanksgiving.  See if you can figure out what the verse means – there are lots of cognates. “…exposez vos requêtes à Dieu par la prière et la supplication avec des actions de grâces ;…. » Look at how the French translate ‘thanksgiving’ – actions de grâce !!!!!

I got to thinking that in some small human-sized way, I can give grace back to God by thanking Him for what He has given to me – in this case, access to Him for supernatural help!  My thanking Him pleases Him; He grants me more than I can ask or imagine according to His will; I see His hand all around me; I rest in His care; I tell Him how much I love His gifts; I feel close to Him; when something else comes up, it’s only natural that I turn to Him since I’ve been talking to Him.  It’s an X-stroke engine that once purring, it is easy to keep running. (why X?  – I don’t know – just seemed like X would indicate more than a limited number like 2 – besides, I don’t know cars!!!)

This is actually borne out by other scripture:  consider Psalm 116: 17 – to Thee I shall offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving AND call (try substituting: by calling) upon the name of the Lord (i.e. praying!!! – asking for more help)

Some dear folks mistakenly and pridefully reason, “God has too much to do running the universe to take an interest in my problems…besides doesn’t God help those who help themselves?”

No!  But that’s a topic for another distinction..and another blog – what part God does..and what part do we do.  For now let us be like the psalmist in Psalm 131, verse 2 – Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me.

Dear Father, help me to see You and to cling to your Goodness like that trusting toddler.  Encourage me to ask for your help when I am in pain, anxiety and confusion.  Cause me to remember to thank you moment by moment.  In sync, in union, in step, in rhythm with your Grace.

Not for the faint of heart – thoughts on Hell

May 7, 2012

Maria Uncategorized , 1 Comment

A question no one can answer:

The polite version – “Why does God create humans He knows will not repent and join His family?”

The more direct version – “Why does He create people destined for Hell?”

The coarse version – “Why does God create throw-away people?”

This is the most disturbing of questions I can formulate.  And no one can give an answer.  At best we can say that God must have a good reason, and that we simply must trust Him.   After all, if we have spent any time learning about God, we know Him to be just, loving and merciful.

Yet the existence of Hell is not inconsistent with God’s loveliness.  As much as I DO empathize with how horrid the reality of Hell is (who would wish this on even his worst enemy!), I believe it is at least as defensible as the logic we employ ourselves.  Let me explain.

*

If you think about it, we live with a double standard.  Every day we make questionable decisions that we justify.  And we have no problem even considering ourselves ‘good’ people.   Consider the following, cast in a justifying light:

  • We break our society’s laws by speeding when we have good cause – ‘my wife is having a baby and I have to get her to the hospital’
  • We kill other human beings – ‘we’re at war with this country and I’m a soldier called to fight’
  • We abort babies – ‘it’s legal and the baby had Down’s syndrome’
  • We lie – ‘the truth was too painful and she doesn’t need to know’

My point is that we make decisions that might seem evil or wrong to some. Nonetheless, we find reasons that are consistent with our pre-suppositions.  If WE humans reason and act thus AND consider ourselves good, then we should be consistent and allow that God must have good reasons for doing even the unimaginable and ultimate consigning of people to Hell.

Even though I don’t like the idea of an eternal conscious hell for those people who never receive God’s grace, I have to admit that it is fair.  After all, God created us and as the creator, He has the perfect right to do with us as He sees fit.  This is how Paul argues in Romans 9: 21 – Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?  God has a right to do what He wants with us because we belong to Him.  Somewhat akin to the artist who crumples up a first attempt, God uses His creation as He sees fit. (I’m not implying that some people are ‘do-overs’ or that He makes mistakes).  Simply put, the Creator is under no obligation to let His creation in on His reasons.

I know that we all want to know the WHYs of life, yet knowing that I deserve Hell as a daughter of the rebellious first couple, and am being spared that fate makes me super joyful.  Someone may argue, “I didn’t choose to rebel against God.  Why should I inherit Adam’s sin nature?  That’s not FAIR!!!!”  You’re right!  But again, that’s not a point worth arguing.  We belong to God; therefore, He has the right.  And the fact that He offers salvation to some is equally beyond fair. Why are we not arguing against the injustice of a perfectly innocent Jesus dying on the cross for us?

At bottom is this: there’s nothing fair about grace.  Imagine griping about an inheritance of 30 million dollars?   The nature of gifts is that they are gratuitous and undeserved.

So if you ARE a chosen beloved child of God, revel in that grace.  Then go out and share the good news of grace with others.  There will be one of two reactions.  By the power of the Holy Spirit operating through God’s word, those appointed for eternal fellowship with God the Father will respond.  Those not appointed will be indifferent or infuriated.  Since God is good, then we can trust Him to judge and deal fairly.  Those who ignore or hate God will get exactly what they deserve, given their rebellion toward their maker.  And we who are spared just have to trust the plans of Our Father.  To quote our current president, some things are ‘beyond our pay grade’.

Grace and Mephibosheth

April 22, 2012

Maria 2 Samuel, Uncategorized Leave a comment

2 Samuel 9:6-8 – And Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and prostrated himself. And David said, “Mephibosheth.” And he said, “Here is your servant!”  And David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will surely show kindness to you for the sake of your father Jonathan, and will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul; and you shall eat at my table regularly.” Again he prostrated himself and said, “What is your servant, that you should regard a dead dog like me?”

I am addicted to the Gospel of Grace.  I can’t get enough of this good news.  But until last year, I had never heard of it. In January of 2011 our son Graham attended an Acts 29 Network Conference in Orlando and heard Tullian Tchividjian’s talk and story about Grace.  Tullian who is a pastor and grandson of Billy Graham came to grace the hard way.  First a prodigal and unrepentant Jonah (running away from God) and then a legalistic Christian, he eventually embraced the freedom of grace. Now he is committed to living on the basis of grace and teaching it wherever he goes.  Mike and I caught a new lilt in Graham’s voice as he, too, shared a new vision of God.  We quickly downloaded Tullian’s talk and have been reading and listening to Grace messages from him and others since then.

So what is Grace according to the Bible?  Grace is a gift you receive because the giver wants to give it to you.  It is not based on anything you do to deserve it or earn it.  It is very un-American what with our ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ philosophy.  Apparently Mephibosheth, like us, had a problem wrapping his mind around this ‘unnatural’ way of responding.

Mephibosheth was the crippled son of King David’s best friend, Jonathan.  When David found out that this young son had survived the Philistine war, David sent for him, out of his love for his dead friend Jonathan.  The young boy was terrorized, certain that he would be slain by his dead grandfather’s supposed rival (with his grandfather King Saul dead, as well as his own dad, Mephibosheth was next in line if he was the only survivor in the royal family.) 

But David has the crippled boy carried to his table and treats him as his own son, not for anything the useless young man could or ever would do.  It was out of love for Jonathan that David treats him both tenderly and royally.

We are Mephibosheth.  We, too, are handicapped, having nothing to offer or exchange with God.  Like the young Hebrew, we have to be carried in to the banquet hall, almost against our will, not having arranged this transfer.  Our first thought is ‘what does he want with ME, in my state!  (-Given my sin and unworthiness).  What ‘Mephib’ and we have to keep reminding ourselves of is the radical thought that it is out of love of the King for someone else that we are so blessed. That is GREAT news.  Because what we receive from God (forgiveness for our sins and Jesus’ perfect righteousness credited to our account) has nothing to do with what we do or don’t do.  The daily gifts I receive and the future inheritance are all based on God the Father’s love for Jesus and what Jesus did for us!  I don’t have to do anything!!!!  And that is why it is called grace.  The amazing corollary is that I can’t risk losing my position either, because again, it’s not based on ME.

So what are we supposed to DO!!!!

-enjoy the banquet

-tell others that there is plenty of room and food at the Table

-when someone reaches for a French fry from your plate, give him your hamburger, too.  Don’t begrudge someone’s bigger portion of ice cream.  There’s plenty for all.  And the supply won’t run out.  Relax

–

Grace v Works – your choice

March 18, 2012

Maria Gospel, Grace , , Leave a comment

Mike and I are down in Tampa with Graham, Shay, Chloe and her new baby sister Vera who was born last month.  Chloe and I were at the playground yesterday.  In between playing ‘Princess’ I was reading about a local doctor , 51 years young,  who has just been diagnosed with ALS.  He’s the kind of ‘good’ man who has given tirelessly of himself to pre-med students, medical students, fellow doctors and the community.  The tone of the article had a kind of Rabbi ‘Kushneresque’ feel.  Kushner is the one who wrote a book, attempting to answer the perennial question, “When bad things happen to good people.”   It seems ‘unfair’ of God that after serving others for years, this local Tampa man faces a painful death.  Don’t he ‘deserve’ better?

Our natural reaction, our sense of entitlement is prevalent among Christians and non-Christians alike.  We all can think of missionaries, pastors and other unselfish people who have suffered tremendously and/or died an untimely death. The world recoils.  But Christians should understand, after all, ‘they crucified Jesus’! Why should we expect any different?

I’ve been studying the Jerry Bridges book on grace (Transforming Grace: Living Confidently in God’s Unfailing Love).   What I am beginning to glimpse is that not only do we not deserve anything good, but when we think we are doing good and earning blessing points, we haven’t a clue.

Take the parable of the workers hired at different hours.  I totally understand the indignation of the ones who worked all day in the sun.  I would have reasoned like them and felt disappointed not to be paid more.  Even though my hope for at least ‘time and a half’ would have been based on wishes and not logic, I would have convinced myself that I ‘deserved’ more.

Jerry Bridges nails his point, though, when he illustrates this principle of faulty ‘I-deserve’ thinking with a story of a college course.  As a good student who did her work I pridefully enjoyed earning ‘A’s and teachers’ praise.  Unfortunately at an early age I was hooked on this performance drug.  So I ‘get it’ when the A students self-righteously protest the professor’s generosity at awarding the slackers the same A that THEY earned. Like the boss in Jesus’ parable, doesn’t the professor have the right to be generous?

Thankfully, I’m beginning to glimpse a different way to think about this.  My son Graham talks about ‘God- Math’.  That is now shorthand for me, reminding me how differently God thinks about things (Duh!!!  He even tells us that His ways are not our ways – Is 55:8).

Paraphrasing Jerry Bridges, he explains that the sins of the elect, those for whom Jesus died, required nothing short of ETERNAL DEATH as a penalty.  And Jesus’ work during those 3 hours on the cross, actually accomplished that.  Now contrast what I think I, Maria, might do in a lifetime to ‘earn’ God’s favor with those 3 hours of Jesus.  The notion not only staggers and sobers me, it is actually ridiculous.  Thankfully!

I don’t want to try to earn anything more. God’s ocean of grace is mine already since I am in Christ.  And I have access to that Grace right now, not just later in Heaven.  And the most that I will use on a daily basis is equivalent to what a small bird might drink in through her beak as she nears the mighty Columbia River.  This river discharges water at the rate of 265,000 cubic feet per second.  I’m not a math person, but that sounds like a lot. I asked Mike how to think through this number.  He walked me through the computation.  The flow of water when it empties into the Pacific Ocean is the equivalent of almost 2 million gallons per second.

Do you think that you or I could ever use up this grace? Could we out-ask what is available as beloved children of our Father?  Could all the birds in the world dry up the mighty Columbia River?  Not even imaginable.

So rest, cease striving and drink deeply and pray that God give us a grateful heart.  The aroma of entitlement not only stinks, but will always leave us dissatisfied.

Unnatural Grace – a book recommendation

January 4, 2012

Maria 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Grace , , Leave a comment

It’s just not natural!  – a theology of grace

I’ve been captivated by a book.  Six years ago Episcopal priest Paul Zahl committed to paper what he has been teaching for the 30 years as a pastor.  Grace in Practice, A Theology of Everyday Life (2007) is changing me.

Very quickly he demonstrates how humans consistently fail to give each other grace. Yet each of us longs desperately to receive grace.  What is grace? –one-way love, the kind of love we crave because it’s freely given with no strings attached.  If there is an expectation on the part of the dispenser of grace, then it’s not grace, but manipulation.  And we are born with an innate ability to sniff out this kind of hypocrisy.

Christ is the ultimate example of grace. There is nothing we can do to earn salvation.  We can’t be good enough; we can’t manipulate our way into heaven,   “For when we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5:8

Lest you think that some people get by fine without grace due to their skill, hard work & maybe a bit of luck and that only down–and-out folk need grace, Zahl shatters that illusion right from the start.  How? –by explaining 3 givens that are true about every human that has ever lived:

a)   We are all guilty & inadequate to meet God’s standard due to original sin.  We live under an objective sentence of guilt and inside we FEEL this guilt.

b)   We are worse than we think; actually we are TOTALLY depraved which Zahl explains means that there is no part of the human condition that escapes depravity.

c)    No one has free will; free will is a myth we can’t shake. We’ve drunk the Kool-aid.

Read the book to follow his very convincing explanations and illustrations.

Because of the above givens, we crave grace.  But those we live with or work for don’t give us grace.  Instead they try to change us with exhortations (or worse, with commands or manipulative advice) to do better.  He calls that the Law.  No one ever gets better by the Law.

To be fair, Zahl makes an interesting distinction between what he calls necessary or natural law, the kind of law that protects us, but has no moral (read:  guilt-producing) baggage.

That kind of ‘first’ law maintains safety among groups of people.  It has nothing to do with self-improvement, relief from guilt or a thousand other problems we have.  When moral law (you should call your mother more often, you should do your homework consistently, you should stop drinking)  is applied, not only does it not help us, but often we dig our heels in further and do just the opposite of what the Law intends. Amazingly we do get better when grace is given.

In order to communicate what he means by grace, Zahl widens the theological term, ‘imputation’ and applies it to phenomena we have all witnessed.  This principle of passing on power through naming originated with God, “God gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were” – Romans 4:17b

Remember the time when your coach might have confidently said to you as an awkward 7th grader, ‘I think you’ll make a mighty fine basketball player’?  The power of that grace-filled imputation summoned your gifts and talents and motivated you to work hard to fulfill that expectation.  You were drawn to the drills and endless work that resulted in your becoming the good basketball player, all because your coach invited you and did not compel you.  Zahl promotes grace not only because it’s biblical, but because it works.

“The letter (the Law) kills but the spirit (Grace) gives life” – 2 Cor 3:6

Zahl doesn’t discount the Law. He describes how we need to allow the law to drive us crazy, so that we come to our senses.  I now see how it is necessary to be killed by the Law before Grace is even an option to consider.  We have to exhaust ourselves in trying to satisfy the Law and finally abandon our efforts and die to it before we turn to Grace.

I won’t go any further in describing Zahl’ work, but here are some quotes & paraphrases.  I hope they will whet your appetite enough to order the book.  Each night in December I could not wait to finish the dishes and find my cozy spot and read.  I felt hope rising:  hope and excitement in being able to offer those whom I love this kind of grace that brings out the best in people.

  • Grace is too good to be true.  It’s totally unfair
  • ‘theological anthropology’-takes in original sin, total depravity and our un-free will, our bondage
  • Marriage needs perpetual absolution.  Husbands have to forgive wives for being women. Women have to forgive their husbands for being men.
  • Everyone needs the same amount of love – 100 % unconditional one-way love
  • For grace to be grace there must not be any conditions, no partial role for me.
  • Grace is listening to another person without bringing the conversation back to you.
  • Grace never tries to fix, but trusts God to do this.  Grace listens
  • Grace in the marriage produces grace with the children

 

 

 

What about grace?

June 10, 2011

Maria Ephesians, Grace , , Leave a comment

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.  Ephesians 2:8, 9

Have you noticed that ‘grace’ is a hot topic these days?  Everyone is talking about it.  I’m so glad.  Grace is life-giving in a way that the non-grace is not.  How do we recognize non-grace?  Non-grace has 2 versions: either your Works, that is to say what you do yourself to earn favor, or the Law, an evaluation of what you are doing wrong.  What this means is this:  if it’s not about grace, then it’s about your being good or your being bad.  Grace bypasses that distinction in a way that seems almost too good to be true.

What’s wrong with Law?  Law IS helpful, because it shows us that we can’t measure up (but we already know that, right?).  Law shows us HOW to love.  But Law lies.  It leads us to think that we can ‘do love’ correctly…… if we are just instructed well enough in the law.  Law SEEMS legitimate, but Law lets us down.  Under Law, we labor because we know we are losers.  The dirty little secret is that we can never succeed.  Law is endless performance and never measuring up.  It is life-sucking.

Grace, on the other hand, is God’s way.  It produces gratitude.  It gives us the POWER to love.  We are free.  We are safe to acknowledge that we can’t ‘do love’ on our own.  Fortunately we are not expected to.  Grace is a gift from God.  It is life-affirming.  It is gratuitous, extravagant.  It almost makes us feel guilty, because it seems too good to be true.  It is nothing short of freedom, pure oxygen for us humans.

I’m going to recommend a book. (My school year ended two weeks ago and I am enjoying a richer and fuller reading schedule.  Each morning I ‘allow’ myself the pleasure of reading until 10 a.m. or so).  Steve Lawson has written the first 2 of a five-volume opus about grace.  I’ve been reading volume one – his Foundations of Grace.   Every page is life-giving. By spotlighting the doctrines of grace, starting with the Pentateuch, he feeds the thirsty soul.  The act of calling pagan Abram out of Ur is one such example.  There was nothing to commend Abram to God.  His election is totally God’s doing.   Moses is another example to be found early in scripture.  God chose and favored him, causing Pharaoh’s daughter to rescue him.  Even Adam & Eve irresistibly answered God’s call and were saved.  As Lawson illumines the many Old and New Testament examples of radical depravity, sovereign calling, specific and limited atonement (i.e. Jesus’ death on the cross) for the elect, irresistible grace and the security of those called, my love for God is growing.  I can’t get enough of grace!!!

I mentioned that Grace seems to be the doctrine du jour (not to slight it – it is certainly THE biblical underpinning of Christianity).  Tullian Tchividjian (Billy Graham’s grandson) preaches nothing but grace.  And he is well-qualified.  He was a modern day prodigal before being regenerated by God at the age of 18.  Then he erred on the legalism slide before burning out. Now he preaches grace.  As a dad of 2 teenage boys and a precocious pre-teen girl, he has lots of lab time to practice grace at home and report back to his congregation whether ‘this grace thing’ really works.

Yes, grace is counter-intuitive.  We are all much more comfortable with works and law and having to earn our gold star.  That is predictable….and SAFE!!!  But as CS Lewis brings out in The Last Battle, Jesus is not necessarily “safe”, but he is good.

As a final point, I would like to mention Dan Franklin of ‘GroupThinkRescue’.  Dan, a pastor who is married to Karina, Randy Alcorn’s daughter, podcasted a helpful illustration of how to look for grace in the Bible.  He worked through the David & Goliath story, first acknowledging the traditional interpretation and then sharing the grace grid.  Who hasn’t heard a sermon emphasizing the fact that we all have giants in our lives and that with God’s help we can face and conquer them?  Grace tells a different story.  Grace shows up when the Hebrews, stewing in paralysis, have no hope of any rescue.  They are helpless in the face of the overwhelming specter of Goliath.  David (the type) prefigures Jesus (the anti-type) when he saves the Hebrews.  So the story of David and Goliath is not about what WE should do.  Instead it’s a story about what God has DONE.  And that is the whole gospel message of grace.

Revel in this good news.  We don’t have to DO anything.  God already DID it.  Jesus announces on the cross that IT IS FINISHED.   May God help us daily, hourly to soak up that message of hope.

PS:  Buy the Steve Lawson books!

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