The sin of fear – the illogic of fear

May 12, 2013

Maria 1 Peter, Fear, suffering, Uncategorized , Leave a comment

Fear!  What would it be like to live with NO FEAR whatsoever (except for the helpful internal-adrenaline- provision in case of real saber-tooth tiger threats)?

I asked my 8th grade Logic class on Thursday – “What is the absolute worst act of evil ever committed in the history of the world?”

The fifth student’s answer was correct!  – the murder of the son of God.

But if THAT crime was planned by God before the creation of the universe, and it was meant for our good, then what does logic say about all the lesser horrid acts/ disasters/ mistakes and problems?

Those Roman logicians called this the ‘a fortiori’ argument – reasoning from the greater to the lesser.

I think this logic is the answer to my very-well-practiced groove of fear and anxiety. A good friend knows that I struggle with the sin of unbelief when I fear for the road safety of my kids.  (She has her own inner battles of unbelief and fear – just not this particular one).

 In a further aside, since it is Mother’s Day, I will tell you, that this FEAR ABOUT ROAD SAFETY is the one negative bad habit I learned from my mother.  Kids DO absorb our outlook and patterns of thinking and reacting.

Here’s how this thinking goes:

·         God is sovereign over every molecule in the universe

·         God planned the crucifixion for His good purposes

·         Good came out of it then and keeps ensuing

·         The lesser bad stuff I could potentially fear is also planned by God for my/our ultimate good  (this doesn’t make evil/mistakes/ calamities any less  grievous or painful when they happen)

·         Eventual good for me and others is the purpose of everything that happens

·         What God means for good comes WITH His loving care and control of every detail

·         Therefore, if God promises that He will withhold NO good thing from me, then what happens, no matter HOW it comes packaged, is meant to be the vehicle of good.  (I DO NOT mean that cruelty, disabilities and disease, theft, floods, indifference or my own sin, and a thousand other bad things are good in themselves)

Do I know and understand all the purposes of God?  No, that is risible to even think a human would or could?  But there are plenty of verses in the Bible to assure me that God is good and trustworthy AND in control of everything.

Pastor and teacher Dr. R.C. Sproul has said, “There is no maverick molecule if God is sovereign.” If He cannot control the tiniest bits of the universe, then we cannot trust Him to keep His word. The Lord vowed to bring Abraham’s sons out of Egypt (Gen. 15:12–16), but if Joseph was not the object of his father’s favoritism, his brothers would not have envied him. If they had not envied him, they would not have sold him to the Ishmaelites, Israel would not have gone into Egypt, and God could not have kept His promise to the patriarch (37–50).

So back to my fears:  I’m starting to think through the irrationality of fearing anything.  Fear and anxiety come from the mistaken double notion that

a)   I can control anything

b)   I know what is best for me and you.

In the next few days and weeks as God supplies me with plenty of practice in which to ‘test-ride’ this truth, I’ll collect some thoughts and write about them soon.

What about you?  How do YOU deal with the sin of fear and worry?

1 Peter 4:19

So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Prayers, Fears and Promises

May 1, 2013

Maria Faith, Fear, Prayer, Uncategorized , , , , 4 Comments

“Bzzzzz,” vibrated my phone in the middle of Senior Theses presentations last night. A student was defending her claim about the on-going effects of the French Revolution, when I glanced over to see the name of the Middle School principal who interviewed me 6 weeks ago in Asheville, NC.  However, since I was one of 2 judges, I couldn’t satisfy my curiosity at that moment.

By the time I WAS free; the civilized deadline for calling future bosses had come and gone.  But patience has its rewards and the news was good this morning.  I got the job!  So thank you for your prayers. I will be teaching French to Middle-Schoolers in the fall.

Now don’t you feel encouraged? – You, the Church?  I know that when I have prayed persistently and over a long period of time, my faith is strengthened upon learning how God has met the need of a brother or sister.  Answered prayer makes me want to pray all the more!  My unbelief is diminished and light expands to push back the dark corners of doubt.

On a side note, God DOES  have a sense of humor.  In our private prayers about this job, Mike and I had specifically asked God to provide me with a French job with a salary range of between X and Y.  And the offer was X!  (not a penny over).  I think Mike was a bit disappointed at first.  Who doesn’t hope for more?  But I can picture God smiling, having arranged the sure way to keep our hope in HIM, the owner and provider of ALL our resources, and not in cash flow.

Despite this great news, I confess that I still struggle with fears and what ifs.

I know – you’re surprised!

You’d think that with this answered prayer, coming on the heels of  last week’s offer on our current house (thank you, Father!), I’d not fear or worry about anything!

It’s true – I have to daily engage in the uphill hand- to- hand combat for faith.  My French 4 girls and I have been translating a list of 10 Truths/Reminders about God.  A young American pastor, Matt Reagan, compiled them in college when he realized that each morning he woke up having forgotten about God.

Demonic alchemy happens in the night and faith evaporates when that alarm goes off.  We have to RE-MEMBER / RE-CONSTRUCT our faith-foundation all over again.   It’s like putting on one’s defensive knight’s armor, piece by piece to engage the day.

Hence, my daily pondering of which promises/ truths encourage me the most:   When the dark clouds of fear start rolling in, I push back firmly with the brilliant rays of God’s truths.  Here are just 3 of those dailies:

·         No good thing does God withhold from those whose way is upright (Ps 84:11)

·         The Lord is with me, I will not fear; what can man do to me? (Psalm 118:6)

·         God works all things for my good because I have been called by Him and I love Him (Romans 8:32)  

 Join with me and let’s undertake this challenge together:  think about what daily spiritual vitamins protect you, feed you, strengthen you, empower you and share them.  Let’s not be anemic, starving Christians, for want of the power available in God’s word.

For the word of God is alive and full of power.

PS: The French translate Jesus/the Logos in John 1 as ‘the verb’.  Can’t you just picture active, coursing super-natural power? 

The gift of patience, an acquired skill

January 23, 2013

Maria 1 Timothy, Faith, Hebrews, Patience, Peace, Prayer, Uncategorized , , , 1 Comment

 

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what God had promised – Hebrews 6:15

Waiting, patiently or ‘Macrothymeo’ that is ‘longtime – passion’ according to Strongs 3116 – keeping one’s desire in check for a long time.

How do you think God gets us to practice this skill and get better at it?  Right!  He sends us lots of situations perfectly suited to chip away at our defects.  The Bible declares Jesus to be the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). That means that true faith is a gift from Him and that He is also the one charged with perfecting what He implants in us.

Our brother and sister-in-law were married 15 months ago and expected a 6 month wait before Eve would receive the correct immigration status and permission as a Canadian to live in the States with her husband Steve.  They are still waiting.  We have watched their patience with admiration and awe.  Surely God is doing great things in this couple and individually, crafting a stronger reliance on Him.

Some friends of ours waited agonizingly month after month for an adoption to go through.  Their faith grew one week at a time, as they learned, as we all must, that they are not in control.  They were rewarded with both an adoptable newborn AND a pregnancy.  We just learned yesterday that their patience and trust in God has borne yet more fruit as a hoped for Army situation has been granted after a 3rd drawn-out request.

Our dear Anne waits for her husband Wes to return safe and sound from Afghanistan. We pray for endurance and grace for both of them.  Each day is a battle between fear and faith – and not just when our hearts desire big things but in all circumstances.  Waiting is part of the human condition.  Our spiritual ancestors Abraham and Sarah waited on God for His promise to be visible.

And we, too, are waiting for hoped for circumstances to become visible.

Mike and I are waiting/expecting/ hoping/ keeping watch (all the same Hebrew word – qavah 6960) for a house to sell, for a school to hire me and for clients to contract with him.  We are VERY aware that we are not in control.  As God has taught me this year, I make a miserable and short-sighted ‘controller’.  You remember reading  God’s words as He speaks through Timothy,

Jesus is the happy/blessed/ blissful sovereign or controller of all of life, King of Kings, Lord of Lords (1 Tim 6:15)

My husband thinks that I have a strong faith, but I don’t FEEL like I do.  As we have been TRYING to practice obedience by ‘patiently waiting and restfully trusting’ in God’s promises, my mind has from time to time fallen prey to fretful glances at the present suffering of fellow Christians.  I have found myself asking questions like:

  • What makes ME think God will give us what we desire?
  • What if NOT getting what we desire is ‘better’ for us?
  • People I know have lost babies, jobs, health…..why should it be different for us?

The irony of this journey in faith is that we have chosen it.  We COULD have stayed put, in our current jobs and home.

But the lure of adventure, of mountains, of new beginnings beckons.  So we must not murmur against the uncertainty and the wait.

Who knows, maybe that desire for adventure has been planted in us BY God Himself, so that we WOULD seek out the road less travelled?!

What I DO know is that your prayers REALLY help.  I felt an actual shift in my mental state in the dark hours of last Saturday night.  We were in Waynesville, NC (western part of the state) for the weekend.  We had looked at 5 houses that afternoon and picked ‘the one’.  During the night, my mind drifted time and time again to ALL the many contingencies and arrangements that would have to line up for us to ‘get’ that house.  I had felt strong desire rising in me all evening as Mike and I talked about it. I went to bed with one pulsating thought –  “I WANT THAT HOUSE!”

But when I woke up around 3 am to go to the bathroom, I noticed that I was at peace.  I had let go.  My initial thought was, “I will be happy in whichever house God arranges for us.  Therefore, I don’t have to CLING to this particular house.  I can trust Him.  He actually sees the future.  I don’t”

That lessening of my tightly closed toddler fists was the result of your prayers.  I recognized the shift toward peace right away.  Because as soon as those comforting thoughts seeped into my mind, I knew they could ONLY be the result of something spiritual.

So we wait.  And trust Him.  And rely on your prayers for our patience and for the details to work out according to what He has planned.  We will let you know as soon as:

-our current house sells

-the purchase of our NC house goes through (whichever house that ends up being!)

-I am offered a job

-Mike gets his first paying client!

June 1st is when we leave the Shire, headed south and west, God-willing.  And as the weeks fly by, we recall a very great fact about God.  Here is the verse that Mike and I have designated as OUR verse for 2013:

Psalm 126:3 – The Lord has done great things for us: we are glad.

House with M & M in front

 

 

 

Plagued and assaulted by diabolical thoughts

October 29, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Uncategorized , , , , , , 5 Comments

Bless Charles Spurgeon!  I am so thankful for this 19th century preacher.  Trolling a collection of sermons regarding spiritual warfare landed this life-saving thought: the Devil plants destructive ideas like rat-traps, ready to snap shut and hold us captive.

For years since the age of 16, I have been prisoner to a cruel master and regularly beaten up & battered with the idea that my worth and significance come from weighing 125 pounds. When I started to gain weight, I then fell prey to the self-salvation trap of bulimia.

Long story short, God rescued me from the pit of this eating disorder, but I have still been tethered to the harmful idea of “Weighing X=good day  v. Weighing non-X = bad day”.

God has lovingly allowed/ sent/ willed/ gifted me with this trial and I am beginning to bless Him and thank Him for it.  Yes, many tears, struggles and much depression have resulted from it, but also immeasurable insight into the incomparable worth of Jesus has also ensued.

What I read Sunday in one of Spurgeon’s sermons was that our peace with God can often be disturbed by a tempting thought from Satan.

“That’s it! These are not MY thoughts and THUS TRUE. When I get on the scales in the morning, see a number and then conclude/ think __________(whatever), that is NOT MY THOUGHT, but a temptation meant to sabotage my peace.  It’s a landmine straight from the pit of Hell, ready to destroy my day, my peace, my gladness!”

All of a sudden, power and strength flowed into me.  I suddenly felt FREE.  I had been given a weapon to fight back.

**

One of the verses that I meditate on each morning is Hebrews 13:5:

Be free from the love of X (money, comfort, enough personal time, rest, weighing ___) and be CONTENT with your circumstances for God has said, ‘I will never abandon you, forsake you or leave you without support’ Therefore, we say with confidence, the Lord is our Helper. We will not fear.  What can anyone do to us!!?’

The Greek word for Content (ar-ke-o/714) has the sense of SELF-barriers; that is of raised walls, erected to guard one’s thought-life, to prevent and block assaulting lies lobbed into our conscious and sub-conscious from the enemy.

This view, that an idea or thought might not be true, that it might not be mine, because it comes from Satan is freeing me to hold on to my peace with God.

That thought -coupled with the truth that all that happens to me is sent by my happy and blessed Father for my good – is like healthy leaven beginning to work its bubbly way through my thought life.  Everything I read seems to reinforce this remedy for anxiety/unsettledness.  As I practice resting and acquiescing to life’s circumstances, seeing that they come from God, I am beginning to want to guard this peace with ever increasing jealously.

I read last night that one of the Puritan fathers purposely began his day reviewing this happy gospel fact, designed to make him want to rejoice in Christ:

  • that he had been granted the joy-filled freedom of a little boy content to play in safety
  • because our great Savior Jesus had resolutely stood His ground, enduring the cross, ‘playing the man’ aka displaying immense courage and love
  • absorbing and soaking up all of God’s wrath –  rightly meant for us – but deflected on purpose to His beloved son
  • as just punishment for all OUR sins
  • thereby leaving us, God’s happy chosen children to live and serve in safety
  • basking in the Father’s love

May we begin our days with THOSE heaven-sent thoughts and reject unholy hand grenades meant to destroy us.

The sin of fear and how to fight it

August 20, 2011

Maria Deuteronomy, Fear, Hebrews, Romans, Sin , , Leave a comment

A young Christian woman I met confided that she had recently lost a baby at 28 weeks and that was after 2 previous miscarriages.  She asked that I pray for God’s help in dealing with her persistent fear that she might lose other precious members of her family:  her 3 yr old daughter or her husband.  My heart lurched when I read her email.  What pain! Imagining what she might be going through made my heart sink.  I could well understand her fear, her drawing back and throwing herself in front of her husband and daughter as a brave ‘warrioress’, shouting:  “No further, Angel of Death!”

John Piper gave a talk at a recent Passion weekend to college students about why we should memorize scripture.  He reminded the audience that the Sword of the Spirit, i.e. God’s Word, is the ONLY offensive weapon we have.  He said that when we talk, announce, declare, shout out God’s promises which are ‘alive and full of power’ (Hebr 4:12) we wage active war against our sin.  And the first sin he mentioned was FEAR.

Fear and its cousin, anxiety, are ever-present enemies.  They are sins because they replace our trust in God.  John Piper who has battled depression and fear throughout his life has a useful acronym.  I shared it with the grieving mom and thought it would help all of us.  It is:  A-P-T-A-T

A – admit you have a need and are helpless, whether it is worry, lack of wisdom, money problems, ANYTHING that you can articulate. Spell out the problem.

P – pray and ask for help from God (remember that we have not because we ask not – James 4:20)

T – trust God that He will provide.  Pick a particular promise and make that your friend.  I googled ‘verses to fight fear’ and found a whole list. Here’s a good one from Deuteronomy 31:6   Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them (i.e. fearful, anxious thoughts); for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”   When the fear thought pops in to your mind, you can say, “No!! I will not fear.  I WILL be strong and courageous for God is my Lord; He is THE ONE who goes with me.  He will not leave me or forsake me….and…(you can add other truths like – He is Jehovah Sabaoth – Lord of the angel armies)

A – act and do what you have to do, counting on the Holy Spirit to be with you and provide what He has promised.  We have to move out despite the fear.

T – thank God for what He IS doing and has done to slay that sin.

And I would add an R.  APTAT and Re-APTAT…as in, when we succumb to the sin of fear, anxiety, lust, idolatry, self-centeredness (and the list goes on…) that we REPENT and start again.  Even if we have to use this tool multiple times a day, it doesn’t matter.  There is ‘NO (SHAME or) CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).  It’s pure pride to give up and say, “That’s just the way I am, I am a worrier, I am a fearful person, I cannot overcome this sin of ______!”

Let’s put on our boxing gloves, and fight the good fight of faith, using the ONE weapon God has given us, His Holy Word.

If you want to hear the talk by John Piper on God’s word as a weapon and the power of memorizing scripture, here’s the link:

John Piper’s talk

 

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