Painful start to summer vacation

June 10, 2012

Maria Idols, Sin , , , , , Leave a comment

Thank God for Christian girlfriends and a Godly husband who have been holding me up recently.

School is out and I have frittered away 2 of my 11 weeks with not much to show for them.  I have been anxious and depressed.  (Does this come from too much time on my hands?)  Or am I being confronted with one of my many idols?

– My worth consists in my productivity.  Here is what I did today!  Just call me superwoman.

My other idol that has me bowing and scraping as a willing slave is a fit body.  As a recovering bulimic I think constantly about food and exercise and how my body feels and looks.

“Time for the training wheels to go, Maria!”  Suddenly, I have been confronted with the hollowness of my props.  But not alone.

In divine preparation, one friend gave me a book that has had me meditating on living in the present moment. I’m learning to construct a new reflex of gratitude, while trying to remember that all I do and think should glorify God.  That I can thank God FOR the previous moment that brought me HERE and live in that particular HERE, dependent on Him honors Him. That sacramental attentiveness in lieu of my customary rushed oblivion actually slows down T-I-M-E because it makes me aware of how the eternal I AM (Yahweh) is the God of the present moment.

Last Saturday in one of my rare ‘Ecclesiastes’ moments, I couldn’t think straight.  I kept saying over and over, “J’ai perdu mes repères!!! – I’ve lost my bearings.  I don’t know where I am and where I’m going.  I don’t how to frame my life!”  I finally thought, ‘I should share with my husband, after all, he needs to know what is going on and be a priest to me.’  I was in the bathroom cleaning the floor when he came up to change clothes to mow the lawn.  We sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed.  I told him what I was feeling (same ole, same ole).  As I teared up, he held my hand, listening to me.  When I didn’t know what else to add, I glanced up at him, embarrassed and spent with my emotion.  I saw that he was silently crying, entering into my pain.  Then he prayed for me.  Didn’t offer any advice.  Just sat WITH me and LOVED me.  Never have I felt so tenderly understood and accepted.

A few days later over coffee, another friend opened up about her anxiety in a way that gave me freedom to share my pain about being a slave to fitness. Then and now via email she has been listening to me and my customary thoughts (kept private up until NOW) and reflecting back to me how irrational they are.  (Anything that doesn’t align with God’s Truth needs to be ditched!)

Thursday,  I picnicked with another dear friend who is a classics expert and Godly woman as well.  I got up the courage to share with her what was going on with me and how these first 2 weeks of summer vacation have been painful, fleeting and have felt wasted.  (She teaches at my school and is on the same schedule.  One of the differences between us is that she knows how to rest without guilt.)

She reminded me that we live in wartime.  She pointed me to Revelation 12 where I read how the Accuser pursues us.  Sensing his time is short and driven in his Satanic Smear Campaign he boldly marches right up to the very throne of God bringing stinging condemnation.  Not bothering to address him, the Holy Father just points to the Son sitting next to Him, as if to say, ‘Why bother, these children of mine are clothed in my Son’s purifying blood, you can’t smear them!’ But Satan doesn’t give up:

17 Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring —those who keep God’s commands and hold fast their testimony about Jesus.

So dressing in gospel armor with my helmet of Salvation is a daily necessity!  (There is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ)

Finally yesterday, I was catching up with one of my favorite young friends who inherited ME when she married our son.  She shared what she was learning about anxiety – that it is fear about the future.  As such, it is SIN.  And God has provided us with the gift of repentance.  We can experience FREEDOM from guilt, as much as need. Her anxiety is not a condition that God has given her and that He will remove if she prays fervently enough.  In hearing how she is processing anxiety, I was drawn to applying how I live with condemnation which drives me to live by law.  But that TOO is SIN.  And I can repent and move back into the realm of Grace where I am welcome.

Have I enjoyed my first two weeks of summer vacation?  NO!  But I think this is a gift whose time has come.  It’s time for me to unwrap the present and learn the lesson.

Thank you, Lord, for your gift of pain that is preceded by and accompanied with Godly friends and family.

‘How blessed, blissful, to be envied – i.e. ASHER, is the woman (having her sins covered because SHE repented) who now trusts and relies on the unfailing love of the Lord’  Psalm 32: 1 & 10

 

Getting Dressed – Psalm 32

June 5, 2012

Maria Gospel , Leave a comment

Currently Psalm 32 is my favorite scripture to recite.  I crave daily the truths it blazes. Unconfessed sins weigh me down.  I bend over to cover them up.  My belt of truth grows tight from this cover up and shameful cower.

Finally I break free and lift my head & hands to God and release the burden of my sin.  The belt is loosened. I’m weightless.  Light warms my face and body – no more guilt TODAY to darken my soul and weigh me down.

In this position, God exhorts and encourages: “Let everyone who has tasted this ‘chesed’ – this loving kindness pray to me”.   When we do pray, we are promised three things:

  • Protection while in the midst of danger with eventual musical rescue
  • Guidance and instruction about where to go, with on-going care as we journey through life
  • Joy as we remember our upright position when freed from sin

The Bible calls the man or woman who knows these truths, ‘asher’.  Asher means blessed….enviable….happy…..joyful.

*

After this daily confession, with my belt of truth comfortably reminding me that I’m secure in the light, I continue to put on my Gospel armor. I slip on my Peace-with-God sandals:  no need to fear that my access to His throne will be blocked.  My stance and confidence in my standing are firm.

I’m covered by Christ’s righteousness…no need to fake being something I’m not. I’m free to confess sin as it occurs; I don’t have to pretend a righteousness that is not mine.  Jesus’ righteousness is comfortable and comforting. I need that secure breastplate over my heart.

I consciously don my head covering marked, “SAVED by GRACE”.  Recalling that I have already been rescued helps me to reject:

  • the fear thoughts of ‘what if?’
  • the depressing thoughts of:  I’m-not-good-enough
  • the lack thoughts: God might not come through TOMORROW!
  • the superior & judgmental thoughts: At least I’m not….

Now I raise my shield of faith and cover not only myself, but the Church that is around me, those Christian brothers and sisters I encounter throughout my day.  I offer them protection by reminding THEM of gospel truth.  And when the going gets tough because the enemy is attacking me or a brother or sister, I pull out my short dagger and yell, “It is written: _____________!”  The demons scatter, horrified and wounded by the power of God’s Word.  ‘We better leave this Daughter of the King alone for now,’ they reason.

Gospel armor: fashion that NEVER goes out of style.  And I haven’t even mentioned the snacks I bring with me to nibble on throughout the day for energy.  We’ll talk about that another day.  But who doesn’t eat at least 3 times a day!

 

How the story goes

May 28, 2012

Maria Uncategorized Leave a comment

The whole story in a nutshell

In the beginning was God.  Genesis tells us that the time-less, transcendent God actually created time and the universe and declared it all ‘good!’  Then God as a plural three-in-one immaterial being chose to create humans in his image.  We actually see evidence of the 3 persons/ 1 essence God in Genesis.  God planned and through Jesus called forth the universe.  The Holy Spirit brooded over/ brought it forth step by step with divine power.  Moreover Jesus in his role as ‘incarnational’ God appeared to Abraham, Lot and Jacob as a material being.  Here was ‘a man-God’ who talked, ate, pleaded, slew and rescued.

Why did God create man?  God was perfectly happy as a community of 3.   But you know as well as I how much our joy is enhanced when we share it with others.  The triune God chose to bring man into being in order to create a community of image-bearers who would enjoy and glorify God forever.  A mutual, joy-enhancing community was planned.

However, once created man became more intrigued with creation, rather than the creator.  Our greatest tragedy and temporary woe is that we turned away from God, for whom we were designed.  We lost our way as we rebelled against our Father.

Thus the worst sin that we daily commit is turning our back on God and preferring lesser things.

But God planned for this.  He chose a particular group of people at a particular point in time and covenanted with them, setting up a system of law to protect them and teach them. He instituted a way to get right with God, each time his image-bearers stray.  Thus the Jewish sacrificial system was born.  Not a permanent fix, but a pointer to an ultimate once-and-for-all sacrifice at a future time.

From…..

  • the humble beginnings of their pagan ancestor Abraham,
  • through the historical and dramatic out-of-Egypt rescue by Moses,
  • on to the eventual entry into a promised land,
  • to the heights of a golden era of glory under Kings David and Solomon……….. marched the Jewish people
  • ……… into eventual but intentional rebellion.

Because of hardships orchestrated by God as punishment, they have looked longingly toward a future restoration when an anointed savior, the Messiah, would restore the golden age and they would again be on top of their game.

This hope for a messiah is based on prophetic promises, but their longing for restored glory has blinded the Jews to what the prophets actually taught.

God, through the prophets, has indeed assured us that His plan for a community/ family drawn from the world is still on track.  But it will require a once-for-all CEASEFIRE among rebel man.  The promises and sacrificial system were given to the Hebrews to point to this eventual need AND fulfillment.

There WILL BE an eventual righting of wrongs.  But it will be the righting of wrongs WE, God’s creation, have done to Him – the God, Father and Creator of all things.   God did first entrust to the Jews the scriptures and covenants for the training up and example to those who will be in his forever-family.  Furthermore, God through the prophets, also predicted a suffering servant who would absorb the payment for the continual sins of rebellion long after the temple was destroyed.

Jews, today, often explain that this suffering servant (see Isaiah 53) refers to the people called Israel and not to a single person.  But that doesn’t fit with the fact that ALL of us (Jews and Gentiles) are rebels against God. We all have gone astray and deserve death.  We all have failed to keep the covenant whether we are explicitly aware of it or not. We are in desperate need of saving.   

The animal sacrifices demanded by the Mosaic Covenant point to the horror of our rebellion.  Traitors to God, we deserve execution.  Animals dying for us are a concrete, child-like picture designed to be easily grasped, to teach us how wicked we are.

Just at the point of hopeless gloom and silence (no more prophetic announcements after Malachi in 420 BC until John the Baptist’s ministry around 32 AD) the good news to this ‘No Exit’ way of life appeared in the form of Jesus aka ‘God’.

Again, the Holy Trinity all along planned for this dénouement.  At a particular point in created time, God entered the world of men as a man himself.  In 3 hours on the cross, he paid for all sins ever committed past, present and future by being cut off from the perfect, holy God.  Our cosmic record was wiped clean.  But that’s not all!  For those invited into the family of God, we also have been given a perfect record of righteousness.  With our rebellion justly punished and without having to earn or achieve perfection, we ARE able to join the Holy Trinity as full family members.

In the beginning of time, God was.  God still is.  And this current earth is the stage where God’s family is being created.  This period of time is just the prologue to what will be a time-less (aka ‘eternal’) experience of mutual joy.  The best is yet to be.  Let us rejoice and be glad and share this true story with all we meet who will give us ear.

 

One size fits all –the Belt of Truth

May 14, 2012

Maria Ephesians , , Leave a comment

As I get dressed each morning with my Gospel armor (Eph 6: 11-17), I’ve been trying to translate the different items of clothing into words that calm my anxious soul.  Since the first item God calls us to put on is the Belt of Truth, I’ve been examining how I feel about belts in general.

Belts make me feel fat. I hardly ever wear a belt.

But I don’t think God has chosen this protection to point out a flaw in my natural self. (Thank you, Pop, for passing on not only your bone structure but your appetite for food!)

Au contraire, if the cinching up of His Heavenly belt causes any discomfort, it’s because I have needless layers covering my naked body.

What might some of those coverings be?  I’ll show you my 2 closets.  Closet A offers the good things I’ve done.   Closet B holds all the bad things I’ve done or the bad thoughts that dominate my thinking.

A stuff:

  • I weighed under 125 this morning; I’m on my way back to 122!
  • My students responded enthusiastically yesterday to my well-delivered instruction
  • I knocked out a good number of items on my To-Do list
  • I did something yesterday to qualify as a ‘good’ wife, daughter-in-law, mom, grandmother, friend, neighbor
  • I served at Church this week

B stuff:

  • I’m up a pound and I am probably never going to get back down to 122
  • Those ‘good chores’ I should do in various relationships are hanging over me
  • I was a boring teacher yesterday and it’s all my fault
  • I’m not doing enough at Church
  • I should be out sharing the Gospel with neighbors on my street.  And I should ask Ann over for dinner.  What kind of caring Christian am I that I ignore the widow 2 doors down??!!!
  • I should be doing stuff to fix up my house
  • I’m just a selfish person whose idol and chief passion is MY COMFORT and MY TIME
  • I wish I didn’t have to go to work today and could stay home and putter around on the computer and read.
  • I’m not earning enough money, thereby putting pressure on my husband to stay in a job he hates

This is just a sample of how I dress each morning.  No wonder God’s belt of truth is tight!

Thinking about what the Bible means, however, has been a blessing.  The truth is, God’s belt will fit comfortably and actually console and bless me if I let myself be unadorned, exposed in front of God.

There is no need to hide our true self, since He actually bids us to come ‘au naturel’:

  • Just as we are
  • Naked and unashamed (He knows all about us, anyway!)
  • Transparent and unafraid
  • Trusting Him to dress us with Christ’s righteousness

The belt of truth is actually the ideal size for each one of us.  But it only fits comfortably; it only blesses us, if we have the courage to drop the cover-ups of accomplishments as well as the scarlet layers of supposed guilty consciences.

Think of the time saved in the morning, if we dress only in God’s clothing!

PS:  there is actually another layer that I must shed if the belt of truth is to fit easily…the extra baggage of unconfessed sin.  This belt is, after all, God’s belt of TRUTH!  Why cling to my fig leaf when I can be free!  And He adds a little pressure for our own good.  In the end, facing Him honestly, coming clean and being released from the weighty sentence of guilt liberates us   If we don’t… that belt gets harder to wear.

Psalm 32: 3-5  When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Not for the faint of heart – thoughts on Hell

May 7, 2012

Maria Uncategorized , 1 Comment

A question no one can answer:

The polite version – “Why does God create humans He knows will not repent and join His family?”

The more direct version – “Why does He create people destined for Hell?”

The coarse version – “Why does God create throw-away people?”

This is the most disturbing of questions I can formulate.  And no one can give an answer.  At best we can say that God must have a good reason, and that we simply must trust Him.   After all, if we have spent any time learning about God, we know Him to be just, loving and merciful.

Yet the existence of Hell is not inconsistent with God’s loveliness.  As much as I DO empathize with how horrid the reality of Hell is (who would wish this on even his worst enemy!), I believe it is at least as defensible as the logic we employ ourselves.  Let me explain.

*

If you think about it, we live with a double standard.  Every day we make questionable decisions that we justify.  And we have no problem even considering ourselves ‘good’ people.   Consider the following, cast in a justifying light:

  • We break our society’s laws by speeding when we have good cause – ‘my wife is having a baby and I have to get her to the hospital’
  • We kill other human beings – ‘we’re at war with this country and I’m a soldier called to fight’
  • We abort babies – ‘it’s legal and the baby had Down’s syndrome’
  • We lie – ‘the truth was too painful and she doesn’t need to know’

My point is that we make decisions that might seem evil or wrong to some. Nonetheless, we find reasons that are consistent with our pre-suppositions.  If WE humans reason and act thus AND consider ourselves good, then we should be consistent and allow that God must have good reasons for doing even the unimaginable and ultimate consigning of people to Hell.

Even though I don’t like the idea of an eternal conscious hell for those people who never receive God’s grace, I have to admit that it is fair.  After all, God created us and as the creator, He has the perfect right to do with us as He sees fit.  This is how Paul argues in Romans 9: 21 – Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?  God has a right to do what He wants with us because we belong to Him.  Somewhat akin to the artist who crumples up a first attempt, God uses His creation as He sees fit. (I’m not implying that some people are ‘do-overs’ or that He makes mistakes).  Simply put, the Creator is under no obligation to let His creation in on His reasons.

I know that we all want to know the WHYs of life, yet knowing that I deserve Hell as a daughter of the rebellious first couple, and am being spared that fate makes me super joyful.  Someone may argue, “I didn’t choose to rebel against God.  Why should I inherit Adam’s sin nature?  That’s not FAIR!!!!”  You’re right!  But again, that’s not a point worth arguing.  We belong to God; therefore, He has the right.  And the fact that He offers salvation to some is equally beyond fair. Why are we not arguing against the injustice of a perfectly innocent Jesus dying on the cross for us?

At bottom is this: there’s nothing fair about grace.  Imagine griping about an inheritance of 30 million dollars?   The nature of gifts is that they are gratuitous and undeserved.

So if you ARE a chosen beloved child of God, revel in that grace.  Then go out and share the good news of grace with others.  There will be one of two reactions.  By the power of the Holy Spirit operating through God’s word, those appointed for eternal fellowship with God the Father will respond.  Those not appointed will be indifferent or infuriated.  Since God is good, then we can trust Him to judge and deal fairly.  Those who ignore or hate God will get exactly what they deserve, given their rebellion toward their maker.  And we who are spared just have to trust the plans of Our Father.  To quote our current president, some things are ‘beyond our pay grade’.

The Sacrifice of Waiting

April 30, 2012

Maria Anxiety, Colossians, Hope, James, Matthew, Trust, Waiting , , , Leave a comment

Melissa is a friend of mine who is now on the other side of a longer-than-expected answer from God.  She and her husband prayerfully navigated the red tape and bureaucratic hoops to qualify to be adoptive parents. Shaped by tender hearts for unwanted children and already blessed with a son of their own, Melissa and Daniel had come to the strategic decision to adopt the rest of their children.  Here was a ‘good’ prayer, not a ‘self-serving’ prayer, a prayer in line with God’s will as James tells us:

James 1:27 NIV

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Once qualified by the adoption agency, Melissa and Daniel projected dates of baby # 2’s arrival. In August of 2010, they told us, “Most likely by Christmas, we’ll have our baby and Lucas will be 2 1/ 4 years old, a good age spread.”

But Christmas came and went. Several sets of their friends got pregnant with ‘Baby # 2’.  Melissa started to blog about the wait.  Said friends delivered ‘babies # 2’.  Other families on the waiting list were selected ahead of Melissa & Dan.  Our church prayed.  Melissa set a good example:  transparently sharing her disappointment but keeping on in the faith.  She set physical goals such as weight loss and running races.  Spiritual goals nurtured her wait; read through the Bible in 3 months – twice!!  “Okay, God, now I see why you have delayed our baby’s arrival, but the calendar is clear, now would be a good time!”

Not only did Melissa and Daniel have to deal with the surprising wait, they suffered disappointments too.  I don’t know how many ‘heads up’ calls or emails they received about different babies whose birth parents were considering them.  The emotional roller-coaster took its toll, almost hardening Melissa to want to not let her hopes be dashed again.

Then God surprised them with 2 sudden and newsworthy events: #1 – a call about a baby who had already been born and was to be assigned to them and  # 2 –  the news that they themselves were going to be birth parents again!  Not a scenario they would EVER have imagined!  But isn’t that just like our God!!

I’m sure Melissa has learned a lot about ‘The God of Continual Surprises’ – would that be ‘Jehovah-Hafta’ah’? (Looking up the Hebrew word I read that one yells out “hafta’ah” at a surprise party) 

What I have come to realize more profoundly praying and waiting with her and her husband is that “Waiting is a form of Worship”.  I first heard this concept at a weekend retreat about 4 years ago.  The speaker was still waiting for a grown daughter to be rescued from the Kingdom of Homosexual Darkness. During her talks she chronicled many of the lessons she had learned so far.

Not all waiting is worship-ful.  Obviously there is the anxious, nail-biting sort that the world has perfected.  This is actually more the norm than we might realize.  ‘First-world’ countries like ours and others in the West have perfected the cult of ‘now-ism’. We expect life (other people, weather and technology) to perform according to our expectations and meet our schedules.

Obviously God knew that anxiety would be a temptation.  Jesus commands us in Matthew 6:25 – “Do not worry…….”  Since this is more than a suggestion from God, we can’t ignore the sinful nature of worry and anxiety, qualities that stain much of our restless waiting.

So what transforms waiting into a worshipful gift to God?  Obviously our attitude makes the difference. I love to dig around language roots.  I’ve found that both the Hebrew and the Spanish translations of the word ‘to wait’ have the built-in meaning ‘to hope’.

As Christians, we know that God’s definition of ‘to hope’ means to know for a fact.  Our faith is not wishful thinking as in, ‘I hope it won’t rain tomorrow for the picnic’.  No, our faith is based on the assurance, the pledge and promise of a sure outcome. Remember then……. ‘Faith is being sure of what we hope for, certain of what we don’t yet see’ (Hebrews 11:1)

We don’t wait in a vacuum, unattached to reality.  We’re pinning all our hopes (NOT on the circumstances working out according to our plan and desires, but) on God’s promises which are based on his character.  God CANNOT lie, or else he wouldn’t be God.  So if He says something, it’s as good as money in the bank.  And when we take him at his word and actually lean into, relax, rest on that promise of future grace, we show not only the world of other believers and non-believers, we are broadcasting to the spirit-world as well.

I have a theory about the frustrating exhortation in Matthew 5 about letting our light shine (vs 16) – “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

Super George the pagan (i.e. non-believer) lives next door to us.  As an excellent neighbor, George is often doing for others.  But no one thinks to glorify and bless God for George’s kindnesses.  We admire George!  So the verse can’t refer to helping others, plenty of non-Christians do those compassionate works.  Here’s what I think:  if we go back to Jesus’ answer to the frustrated Jewish crowd in John – Chapter 6 (‘But what must we DO to be doing the work of the Lord’), Jesus responds by telling the people that the work they are to do is to BELIEVE GOD.  Can’t you just hear them responding incredulously, “That’s it?  There’s got to be more than that!!!”

Sounds so simple, but it’s countercultural. And here is how Melissa and Dan lived out that countercultural message for the past two years.

Melissa’s response to the unreasonable and painful wait for Levi, her now-2-month-old baby boy, was to continue to trust God, even when she did not understand the reason for it.  Her example has demonstrated for us a lovely way we can honor God and create opportunities to tell others about God’s promises.

When we don’t angst, fret, stew, manipulate, throw a tantrum, demand our way, we show the world that whereas we don’t LIKE the circumstances, we are trusting God’s promise to:

-work out all things for our good (Romans 8:28)

-withhold no good thing (Ps 37)

-be our shepherd and provide all we need so we won’t want for anything (Ps 23)

-faithfully tend to us with new mercies and compassions while we wait (Lam 3)

Our calm response in the waiting will definitely glorify our Father in heaven, because we will be demonstrating without language that God IS real, personal and all-satisfying.  And when we calmly wait, faces turned toward God, we reflect His light, like the moon reflecting the sun.  This then is ‘letting your light shine before men’ in a way that points to God.

Finally, how can we pray for each other in future periods of waiting that inevitably will come?  More than just beseeching God to grant the ‘whatever’ to our friends, how about praying Colossians 1:11 – that they be strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that they may have great endurance and patience…. ultimately glorifying God.

Grace and Mephibosheth

April 22, 2012

Maria 2 Samuel, Uncategorized Leave a comment

2 Samuel 9:6-8 – And Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and prostrated himself. And David said, “Mephibosheth.” And he said, “Here is your servant!”  And David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will surely show kindness to you for the sake of your father Jonathan, and will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul; and you shall eat at my table regularly.” Again he prostrated himself and said, “What is your servant, that you should regard a dead dog like me?”

I am addicted to the Gospel of Grace.  I can’t get enough of this good news.  But until last year, I had never heard of it. In January of 2011 our son Graham attended an Acts 29 Network Conference in Orlando and heard Tullian Tchividjian’s talk and story about Grace.  Tullian who is a pastor and grandson of Billy Graham came to grace the hard way.  First a prodigal and unrepentant Jonah (running away from God) and then a legalistic Christian, he eventually embraced the freedom of grace. Now he is committed to living on the basis of grace and teaching it wherever he goes.  Mike and I caught a new lilt in Graham’s voice as he, too, shared a new vision of God.  We quickly downloaded Tullian’s talk and have been reading and listening to Grace messages from him and others since then.

So what is Grace according to the Bible?  Grace is a gift you receive because the giver wants to give it to you.  It is not based on anything you do to deserve it or earn it.  It is very un-American what with our ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ philosophy.  Apparently Mephibosheth, like us, had a problem wrapping his mind around this ‘unnatural’ way of responding.

Mephibosheth was the crippled son of King David’s best friend, Jonathan.  When David found out that this young son had survived the Philistine war, David sent for him, out of his love for his dead friend Jonathan.  The young boy was terrorized, certain that he would be slain by his dead grandfather’s supposed rival (with his grandfather King Saul dead, as well as his own dad, Mephibosheth was next in line if he was the only survivor in the royal family.) 

But David has the crippled boy carried to his table and treats him as his own son, not for anything the useless young man could or ever would do.  It was out of love for Jonathan that David treats him both tenderly and royally.

We are Mephibosheth.  We, too, are handicapped, having nothing to offer or exchange with God.  Like the young Hebrew, we have to be carried in to the banquet hall, almost against our will, not having arranged this transfer.  Our first thought is ‘what does he want with ME, in my state!  (-Given my sin and unworthiness).  What ‘Mephib’ and we have to keep reminding ourselves of is the radical thought that it is out of love of the King for someone else that we are so blessed. That is GREAT news.  Because what we receive from God (forgiveness for our sins and Jesus’ perfect righteousness credited to our account) has nothing to do with what we do or don’t do.  The daily gifts I receive and the future inheritance are all based on God the Father’s love for Jesus and what Jesus did for us!  I don’t have to do anything!!!!  And that is why it is called grace.  The amazing corollary is that I can’t risk losing my position either, because again, it’s not based on ME.

So what are we supposed to DO!!!!

-enjoy the banquet

-tell others that there is plenty of room and food at the Table

-when someone reaches for a French fry from your plate, give him your hamburger, too.  Don’t begrudge someone’s bigger portion of ice cream.  There’s plenty for all.  And the supply won’t run out.  Relax

–

A new name and a new nature

March 26, 2012

Maria 2 Corinthians , , Leave a comment

My new name:  “Christos-Maria”

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation:  2 Cor 5:17

Ontology is a good word.  It refers to beingness, something’s essence or someone’s nature/identity.  Think of the attributes, the properties or categories of something that exists. Why should you care about this term?  If you have been born again, YOUR ontology has changed.  You have a completely new nature.  As a newborn Christian, you were not merely ‘topped off’ with spiritual power.  Au contraire!  It’s not for nothing that the Bible talks about dying and being born anew.  One can’t be born a 2nd time, unless one has died.

Recently I attended a women’s retreat where we looked afresh at the book of Ephesians.  The last talk included an explication of the armor of God.  Since then, I’ve been mentally dressing myself each morning on my walk.  When I get to the breastplate of righteousness, I imagine myself as a Roman soldier, in shiny armor.  We’re all dressed alike; our chests and hearts protected with this silvery plating, a helmet, a shield and a pair sturdy sandals that can grip well (thanks, Regina!)  We are tucked in securely with a studded belt that holds a short but wicked sword, our one offensive weapon.  When we brandish it, we shout truth OUTLOUD i.e. statements of faith-building biblical facts.  The very words of God, shattering the atmosphere by life-changing sound waves, impact forever not just us who utter them, but the spirit world, as well as our brothers & sisters in Christ.  Take that!  En garde!

Shoulder to shoulder in our individual armor we are members of the church, the body of Christ. But from a distance, carrying on with the Roman soldier illustration, no one can tell that it’s Maria, or Regina, or Lise or Kris or Mabel.  What people see are identical soldiers. What makes us identical?   It should be Christ that others see or sense.   We are now new creations, in Christ, if we have been born again.  We have a new nature.  Yes, we have our personalities, but anything truly good, is from Christ in us.

And with this new ontology (which we can’t lose) we have new powers.  You & I can do things now that in our old sinful lonely flesh, we could never have done.  I’m thankful that the old Maria exists no longer (she’s died!)  In her place is this new creation:  “Christos-Maria”. And since I’m this new creation, then anything good I now do, it’s because of Christ in me….so He should get the glory.

Grace v Works – your choice

March 18, 2012

Maria Gospel, Grace , , Leave a comment

Mike and I are down in Tampa with Graham, Shay, Chloe and her new baby sister Vera who was born last month.  Chloe and I were at the playground yesterday.  In between playing ‘Princess’ I was reading about a local doctor , 51 years young,  who has just been diagnosed with ALS.  He’s the kind of ‘good’ man who has given tirelessly of himself to pre-med students, medical students, fellow doctors and the community.  The tone of the article had a kind of Rabbi ‘Kushneresque’ feel.  Kushner is the one who wrote a book, attempting to answer the perennial question, “When bad things happen to good people.”   It seems ‘unfair’ of God that after serving others for years, this local Tampa man faces a painful death.  Don’t he ‘deserve’ better?

Our natural reaction, our sense of entitlement is prevalent among Christians and non-Christians alike.  We all can think of missionaries, pastors and other unselfish people who have suffered tremendously and/or died an untimely death. The world recoils.  But Christians should understand, after all, ‘they crucified Jesus’! Why should we expect any different?

I’ve been studying the Jerry Bridges book on grace (Transforming Grace: Living Confidently in God’s Unfailing Love).   What I am beginning to glimpse is that not only do we not deserve anything good, but when we think we are doing good and earning blessing points, we haven’t a clue.

Take the parable of the workers hired at different hours.  I totally understand the indignation of the ones who worked all day in the sun.  I would have reasoned like them and felt disappointed not to be paid more.  Even though my hope for at least ‘time and a half’ would have been based on wishes and not logic, I would have convinced myself that I ‘deserved’ more.

Jerry Bridges nails his point, though, when he illustrates this principle of faulty ‘I-deserve’ thinking with a story of a college course.  As a good student who did her work I pridefully enjoyed earning ‘A’s and teachers’ praise.  Unfortunately at an early age I was hooked on this performance drug.  So I ‘get it’ when the A students self-righteously protest the professor’s generosity at awarding the slackers the same A that THEY earned. Like the boss in Jesus’ parable, doesn’t the professor have the right to be generous?

Thankfully, I’m beginning to glimpse a different way to think about this.  My son Graham talks about ‘God- Math’.  That is now shorthand for me, reminding me how differently God thinks about things (Duh!!!  He even tells us that His ways are not our ways – Is 55:8).

Paraphrasing Jerry Bridges, he explains that the sins of the elect, those for whom Jesus died, required nothing short of ETERNAL DEATH as a penalty.  And Jesus’ work during those 3 hours on the cross, actually accomplished that.  Now contrast what I think I, Maria, might do in a lifetime to ‘earn’ God’s favor with those 3 hours of Jesus.  The notion not only staggers and sobers me, it is actually ridiculous.  Thankfully!

I don’t want to try to earn anything more. God’s ocean of grace is mine already since I am in Christ.  And I have access to that Grace right now, not just later in Heaven.  And the most that I will use on a daily basis is equivalent to what a small bird might drink in through her beak as she nears the mighty Columbia River.  This river discharges water at the rate of 265,000 cubic feet per second.  I’m not a math person, but that sounds like a lot. I asked Mike how to think through this number.  He walked me through the computation.  The flow of water when it empties into the Pacific Ocean is the equivalent of almost 2 million gallons per second.

Do you think that you or I could ever use up this grace? Could we out-ask what is available as beloved children of our Father?  Could all the birds in the world dry up the mighty Columbia River?  Not even imaginable.

So rest, cease striving and drink deeply and pray that God give us a grateful heart.  The aroma of entitlement not only stinks, but will always leave us dissatisfied.

Wrestling with the Sabbath

March 4, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Proverbs , , 2 Comments

Obedience DOES bring blessings

As R.C. Sproul likes to say, “Ideas have consequences”.

Today I am on vacation – a true Sabbath rest.  And I am celebrating God’s goodness.

The other day, my favorite iron-mongering friend (as in ‘iron sharpening iron’ -Proverbs 27:17) mentioned a mutual acquaintance who had panicked and chosen the world’s way in a very difficult situation.  This person had even gotten legal counsel and I’m sure thinks he did what any reasonable person would do.  His weakness made us see the parallel with Abraham who caused his wife, Sarah, to lie by claiming to be his sister so the Egyptians wouldn’t kill Abe in order to take her into the royal harem.

As I left Starbucks, I was musing: I wonder where I am not trusting God and thereby sinning.

I did not have to wait long for God to let me know.  That night, I read a reference to a verse in Hebrews that has always seemed contradictory and therefore incomprehensible.   Hebrews 4:11 says, “Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that (Sabbath) rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience”

Another translation says, STRIVE to enter that rest. All of a sudden I thought about my struggle with the idea of the Sabbath and my antipathy to Sunday afternoons and lesson-planning.  Ever since I came to my current school, I have spent Saturdays cleaning and grocery shopping and Sundays after church lesson planning.  There seemed no way out.  I have travelled the gamut from guilt on one hand to resignation on the other.  I’ve justified working on Sundays since I habitually enjoy a long Saturday morning quiet time, noodling around in my Bible and then catching up with email on the computer until about 11 am.  My lunch is my reward after getting the upstairs clean and I leisurely catch up on a magazine during those 30 minutes before continuing on with normal chores.  So what if I work on Sunday?  I do enjoy a Sabbath – it’s just cut up in parts and scattered over the weekend.  But it has not been at all restful and I have lived with dread of the impending Sunday afternoon.

But all of a sudden I saw my dilemma as a case of unbelief.  I had declared that ‘given my teaching circumstances – 5 different preps – there was NO way I could do otherwise.  Now God was gently raising the possibility that He could in fact do more than I had imagined if I was WILLING to be obedient and trust him.

The challenge was on!  I felt like I had nothing to lose.  I just happened to mention it to my husband on Saturday morning.  It occurred to me that I could actually ask Mike to wash the kitchen floor.  Not only was he willing, but he said that he would clean up the entire kitchen to boot.

I could imagine God smirking…..in the past I’ve ‘taken pride’ in the fact that I clean every week without help from my husband. (Of course he is the one who does the outside; I don’t count that in my perfection equation).  Over the years, I’ve killed the ‘little martyr’ inside of me, while all along still perfecting my superior dance.   Now if my husband helped, I could not claim to be competent.  It didn’t even take more than 3 seconds to weigh my options.   Good bye competency!  Welcome dependency on others!

How did my day turn out?  I got up at the same time (fairly early), but had only a 25 minute quiet time.  I didn’t take a lunch break, but ate while working on lesson plans.  Since Mike took care of the kitchen – that saved about 45 minutes right there.  I only completed core plans and put on my ToDo List some other school-related tasks that I will trust God for come Monday.

Voilà – He came through.  All along I kept reminding myself of my impending vacation day – a true Sabbath.  Through His provision (wisdom, stretched time, a wonderful husband) I completed the cleaning and the grocery shopping. We also walked, dined leisurely and regretfully finished the last Downton Abbey show from Season 1.  Afterwards, I caught up on a magazine and was in bed by 10:15.  Visions of tomorrow’s blessing kept dancing through my head.  (I actually couldn’t sleep much, so excited was I!)

As I thought about this miracle, the idea came to mind:  what other commands of God have I avoided as impractical or impossible?   And an even more powerful thought – maybe God intends to really bless us with these ‘rules’.  Hmmm….what blessings have I willingly deprived myself of by believing Satan’s lies?

Older Entries Newer Entries