The gift of patience, an acquired skill

January 23, 2013

Maria 1 Timothy, Faith, Hebrews, Patience, Peace, Prayer, Uncategorized , , , 1 Comment

 

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what God had promised – Hebrews 6:15

Waiting, patiently or ‘Macrothymeo’ that is ‘longtime – passion’ according to Strongs 3116 – keeping one’s desire in check for a long time.

How do you think God gets us to practice this skill and get better at it?  Right!  He sends us lots of situations perfectly suited to chip away at our defects.  The Bible declares Jesus to be the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). That means that true faith is a gift from Him and that He is also the one charged with perfecting what He implants in us.

Our brother and sister-in-law were married 15 months ago and expected a 6 month wait before Eve would receive the correct immigration status and permission as a Canadian to live in the States with her husband Steve.  They are still waiting.  We have watched their patience with admiration and awe.  Surely God is doing great things in this couple and individually, crafting a stronger reliance on Him.

Some friends of ours waited agonizingly month after month for an adoption to go through.  Their faith grew one week at a time, as they learned, as we all must, that they are not in control.  They were rewarded with both an adoptable newborn AND a pregnancy.  We just learned yesterday that their patience and trust in God has borne yet more fruit as a hoped for Army situation has been granted after a 3rd drawn-out request.

Our dear Anne waits for her husband Wes to return safe and sound from Afghanistan. We pray for endurance and grace for both of them.  Each day is a battle between fear and faith – and not just when our hearts desire big things but in all circumstances.  Waiting is part of the human condition.  Our spiritual ancestors Abraham and Sarah waited on God for His promise to be visible.

And we, too, are waiting for hoped for circumstances to become visible.

Mike and I are waiting/expecting/ hoping/ keeping watch (all the same Hebrew word – qavah 6960) for a house to sell, for a school to hire me and for clients to contract with him.  We are VERY aware that we are not in control.  As God has taught me this year, I make a miserable and short-sighted ‘controller’.  You remember reading  God’s words as He speaks through Timothy,

Jesus is the happy/blessed/ blissful sovereign or controller of all of life, King of Kings, Lord of Lords (1 Tim 6:15)

My husband thinks that I have a strong faith, but I don’t FEEL like I do.  As we have been TRYING to practice obedience by ‘patiently waiting and restfully trusting’ in God’s promises, my mind has from time to time fallen prey to fretful glances at the present suffering of fellow Christians.  I have found myself asking questions like:

  • What makes ME think God will give us what we desire?
  • What if NOT getting what we desire is ‘better’ for us?
  • People I know have lost babies, jobs, health…..why should it be different for us?

The irony of this journey in faith is that we have chosen it.  We COULD have stayed put, in our current jobs and home.

But the lure of adventure, of mountains, of new beginnings beckons.  So we must not murmur against the uncertainty and the wait.

Who knows, maybe that desire for adventure has been planted in us BY God Himself, so that we WOULD seek out the road less travelled?!

What I DO know is that your prayers REALLY help.  I felt an actual shift in my mental state in the dark hours of last Saturday night.  We were in Waynesville, NC (western part of the state) for the weekend.  We had looked at 5 houses that afternoon and picked ‘the one’.  During the night, my mind drifted time and time again to ALL the many contingencies and arrangements that would have to line up for us to ‘get’ that house.  I had felt strong desire rising in me all evening as Mike and I talked about it. I went to bed with one pulsating thought –  “I WANT THAT HOUSE!”

But when I woke up around 3 am to go to the bathroom, I noticed that I was at peace.  I had let go.  My initial thought was, “I will be happy in whichever house God arranges for us.  Therefore, I don’t have to CLING to this particular house.  I can trust Him.  He actually sees the future.  I don’t”

That lessening of my tightly closed toddler fists was the result of your prayers.  I recognized the shift toward peace right away.  Because as soon as those comforting thoughts seeped into my mind, I knew they could ONLY be the result of something spiritual.

So we wait.  And trust Him.  And rely on your prayers for our patience and for the details to work out according to what He has planned.  We will let you know as soon as:

-our current house sells

-the purchase of our NC house goes through (whichever house that ends up being!)

-I am offered a job

-Mike gets his first paying client!

June 1st is when we leave the Shire, headed south and west, God-willing.  And as the weeks fly by, we recall a very great fact about God.  Here is the verse that Mike and I have designated as OUR verse for 2013:

Psalm 126:3 – The Lord has done great things for us: we are glad.

House with M & M in front

 

 

 

I’m adopted!

January 16, 2013

Maria Uncategorized , , , Leave a comment

I’m adopted!

….which means that I have been chosen, wanted and planned for.  It is this idea that needs to dominate and be my source of comfort every idle moment.

The ‘New City’ iPad app has a shortened, edited version of the Westminster Catechism (52 Qs & As – one for each week).  Question 1 gets right to the point:  “What is our only hope in life and death?”  Answer:  “That we are not our own, but belong, body and soul, both in life and death to God and our Savior Jesus Christ”

In my last post I talked about spiritual warfare.  The enemy prowls around, intent on sabotaging and weakening our faith.  Natural physical rhythms like sleep also attenuate our faith. So when we awaken in the morning, we must draw new strength for the day by preaching the good news, the TRUTH, to ourselves.

Part of my routine on my morning walk is to remind myself out loud of what I am glad.  And you know, these benefits that accompany my adoption actually are written down in the official adoption papers called the Bible.

  • My life is hidden safe in Christ.
  • Christ is in me.  How so? –the Holy Spirit God moved in as a down-payment/deposit/ engagement ring or promise. Therefore, I have the assurance of future glory and an inheritance.
  • I have everything I need (all grace) to do what God wants me to do as His ambassador, His steward, His soldier.  I am not dependent on my ideas or my strength. I am not limited by the lack of resources.
  • His purpose for my life is the development of His likeness in me – i.e. growing in holiness….becoming suitable for His Son as a member of the Heavenly Bride
  • I’m carrying in my spiritual pocket an invitation to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb.  When I RSVPd, the Angels rejoiced in heaven
  • That RSVP (my name engraved on His hands) I can never lose.  And it entitles me to untold spiritual riches
  • I can trust God and what He promises by looking at two things:

-His compassion shown on the Cross

-His power shown by the resurrection

I don’t feel like thinking of these FACTS all the time, so the times when I DO feel less resistant to spiritual matters (1st thing in the morning), I need to eat, take in spiritual nourishment.  And you might have heard what the French say, “L’appétit vient en mangeant”   One becomes hungry by eating.   Bon appétit!

Incoming! – we’re under attack!

January 10, 2013

Maria Ephesians, Uncategorized , , Leave a comment

I didn’t see it coming.  I thought we were dealing with other, on-going issues.  But as hours passed and the distance between my husband and me grew and the feelings turned icy, and directed against each other, I suddenly saw THIS in a different light.

Certain subtle strategic, spirit-placed clues helped me to see the attack for what it was. At coffee yesterday, my friend Kris mentioned trying to praise God’s attributes alphabetically in the car en route to the gym, and un-God-like characteristics kept breaking into her thoughts.  Instead of qualities like Dependable or Daily provider, traits like dour and doubtful came to mind.  She then commented, “I know where THOSE thoughts are from, not me, but Satan himself!”

That idea lodged in the outskirts of my mind.  Then I was reading Ann Voskamp’s blog about 4 action steps to cement a marriage. (This – after a silent ride home in the car from our small group)  All of a sudden, in the middle of a mini pity party, I pictured Mike and me as 2 jigsaw puzzle pieces, jaggedly pulled apart.  We no longer were one complete picture.  Our sinful brokenness was SO tangible for our emotional energy was directed at making each other the enemy.

It was then that I began to see what was happening.  This was a spiritual skirmish that the Sovereign Controller, i.e. God was allowing.  All military encounters, whether actual or preparatory, can be used by wise leaders to strengthen soldiers.  “Let’s get our feet dirty, boys.  Brandish those weapons. Jab at the enemy!  Use your tactics. Don’t just stand there, fight back!”

Each attack makes soldiers wiser and stronger.  Crawling out of the opposite trenches and meeting in what just a few hours ago had been No Man’s Land, I hope that Mike and I will stay alert.  We are in a faith battle in this ‘for keeps’ spiritual war.  For our enemy is prowling around, determined to weaken us and make us ineffective as Christians.

As Paul warned the Ephesians and now us in Chapter 6:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

And why is the enemy attacking my husband and me?  Only because we have stepped out and publically talked about a Journey of Faith.  We are leaving ‘secure’ jobs and a predictable life and income and support structure to go off to the hills and build a new life.  We have announced that we are walking toward this new life by faith in God and the promises in His Word and NOT by sight.  It’s risky and tempting to Satan.

It ‘so happens’ that Mike and I are reading in Job, this start of the New Year, as part of a chronological Bible reading plan.  We, the readers, know that Satan is attacking Job with God’s permission. Today I see this ‘coïncidence’ as part of our spiritual fore-warning. Thank you, Holy Spirit!

Shields up!  Helmets on! Jesus’ righteous breastplate buckled tight.  Peace-laced sandals gripping our feet as we move forward! God’s Word-sharpened sword at the ready! Tightening ranks with my beloved husband.  We have each other’s backs. 

Chronological Reading Plan of the Bible in a year

Thoughts on Prayer

January 8, 2013

Maria Luke, Prayer Leave a comment

Do we believe without a doubt? When we pray, do we believe that we will receive the things we ask for, not on a future day, but then and there? This is the teaching of this inspiring scripture. How we need to pray, “Lord, Increase our faith” (Luke 17:5) until doubt is gone, and absolute trust claims the promised blessings as its very own.

E M Bounds

I have never met a Christian who boasted in their prayer life.  To the man, everyone confesses weakness, fear and self-recrimination.  Universally, we seen pleasantly surprised when God does indeed answer prayer.  Why is prayer so hard?

Here are some thoughts that encourage my heart:

  • God wants us to pray.  Always.  In every situation. At all times.
  • God expects us to pray as little kids.  We don’t have to earn a PhD first.  In fact, there’s no such thing as a bad prayer.

How can I say this?  Surely we’ve prayed selfishly and wrongly….

Well, here are some examples of God answering ‘BAD’ prayers.

In Numbers 11, the recently-rescued Hebrews pine for food from their Egyptian captive days –

– vs 18 to 20 – “Tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The Lord heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it. 19 You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, 20 but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the Lord, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?

And even Job in the midst of complaining to God about how unfairly he has been treated longs for his accusations to be made into a permanent written record,

Chapter 19: 23-24 – Oh, that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll, that they were inscribed with an iron tool on lead, or engraved in rock forever!

How ironic is that!

At the bottom of our reluctance to pray, I think, is our fear of being disappointed.  If we pray and get our hopes up and God DOESN’T answer the way we have asked, then we will be even worse off.  We are afraid of being hurt even more.

And not without good reason! For we can all point to people who have NOT been rescued, healed, blessed.  My ‘go-to-example’ of that in scripture is Paul and his ‘thorn’.  And in this New Year, 2013, I think of Joni Eareckson Tada who is STILL paralyzed and in daily pain, 45 years after her diving accident.  Faithful people who have not received what they asked God for. What do we make of that?  Even Francis Chan shared in a talk that he prayed for his Buddhist grandmother to receive Christ before she died.  And to his knowledge she died, darkened and without hope.

I don’t know.  But what I DO know is that God DOES answer some of my prayers RIGHT AWAY.  And some prayers He answers after years of praying.  And some prayers He has not (yet) answered the way I have hoped. I can also point to those prayer requests He firmly turned down.

Here is where I have to bow, submit to and REST on some comforting truths:

  • God IS the definition of goodness
  • God LOVES me and has already done the very best for me by adopting me as his child and making me an heir to His Kingdom Riches F-O-R-E-V-E-R.   And THAT even before I knew what I was getting into!
  • God has chosen to WORK HIS WILL partially by the raw material of our prayers.  He invites, expects and even commands our participation.
  • I am growing as I learn about this Kingdom business of prayer, of talking to God.
  • I can’t get prayer wrong.
  • I don’t have to be good FIRST before praying.
  • I don’t have to have the right amount of faith first before God hears me.  He ALWAYS hears me.
  • I feel better when I pray.
  • I can always pray when I don’t know what else to do.
  • No prayer goes unheard.
  • God SPOKE the world into existence.
  • My words have more supernatural power than I know.
  • The spirit world hears my prayers and WITNESSES the impure faith that I do have and marvels at God’s response.
  • It’s not my faith anyway.  Any faith that I have has been given to me by God.
  • Answers to prayers are NOT dependent on me.  I do not need to fear that my faith will be inadequate or insufficient.
  • And finally, as EM Bounds encourages, I can and SHOULD ask for MORE faith.

What can YOU do to help ME grow in the confident practice of prayer?  Share what your prayers are and when and how God answers them. This kind of practicing gratitude also increases our awareness of God’s answers.

And remember, that God WANTS to answer our prayers..that is His default mode.  And every prayer that is answered brings glory and honor and praise to Him.  Take THAT, evil forces of darkness!

What kind of peace do you want?

December 30, 2012

Maria Ephesians, Hebrews, John, Peace , Leave a comment

Terms of Peace

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:27

I heard an account of the Pope’s Christmas Message given at mass in St Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican.  Of course the French news report I was listening to left off the biblical context and just relayed the Pope’s hopes for world peace.

In searching on line for the actual text, I do see that the leader of Catholics did preface his political remarks with a brief account of how God became incarnate and how we must open the door of our heart to Him by faith. Then he tied those thoughts to wishes for earthly peace in different hot spots around the world.

In thinking about peace, I started to parse in my mind the various versions of peace.  A close family member of mine is representative of many in her honest wishes for world peace. She sincerely hopes that 2013 will be different. By peace she is referring to the absence of armed conflict, both the official kind between people groups and the unsanctioned version, that is ‘plain ole one-on-one unthinkable evil’.

There is also family peace, which is the absence of coldness and hard feelings that characterize unforgiveness.  Since we are all sinners, there is constant need and opportunity to forgive.  The family and work environment offer us lots of places to hurt one another.

However, the peace we most need to seek and hold on to, is peace with God.  Here is where I wish the Pope had led his listeners.  Conflict between people is serious and the cause of much evil and suffering.  But we can’t always do something about the other guy.  We CAN do something about our state of rebellion with God, though.  Explaining our guilty plight and sharing life-giving hope for real change would have been the best Christmas message the Pope could have given.

Simply put –

  • When we are born, we are enemies of God and to be exact, sons and daughters of Satan.  (sounds harsh, but it’s what the Bible teaches:   Eph 2:3b – by nature, objects of wrath/ Ps 51:5 – Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me/ John 8:44 – For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does.)

 

  • As an enemy of God, there is no peace that we humans can bring about.  We can’t sign a peace treaty with God because our real guilt and crimes against Him are in the way and loom insurmountable.

 

  • Jesus’ crucifixion pictures for us what God thinks of these crimes. What Jesus suffered is God’s verdict against sin.

 

  • We are helpless and without hope unless He does something.

 

  • He showed mercy by counting & reckoning to us Jesus’ payment for our sin, by counting & reckoning to us Jesus’ righteous acts day by day for 33 years

 

  • Our only response to this way of Peace?  To be grateful recipients of un-imaginable grace. Who would have invented such a twist to the story?  That’s why it’s called scandalous!

 

I wish the Pope had talked about this kind of peace. Truces will come and go.  War and more evil will happen because the heart is desperately wicked.  Human nature doesn’t change because of this bent toward evil.  Technological progress and education can’t affect our in-bred rebellion.

Where’s the hope?  It’s in this – only when someone is born ‘from above’ does a person receive a new DNA.  Christ in me, the ONE & ONLY sure foundation for peace.

As the unnamed author of the letter to the Hebrews puts it, “Today, if you would hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…..Today is the day of salvation!”

To my brothers and sisters in Christ – May you and I enter 2013 in full assurance of our status as “permanently at peace with the God of the Universe”.  And may we now, as His purchased forever-family-members, work each day as His appointed Ambassadors/Stewards/Soldiers going about sharing the terms of the peace treaty:

“Lay down your arms, you rebels and submit to the Kindest King you can ever imagine.”

What adventure!  What purpose!  What a new life!

 

Letter to a dying acquaintance

December 10, 2012

Maria Colossians, Hebrews, Luke, suffering, Uncategorized , , Leave a comment

Lost Sheep

Dear X

Y told me that you’ve received a really hard diagnosis: gut-wrenching news about cancer. I am so sorry to learn this and can’t even imagine what thoughts and emotions you & your husband must be dealing with!

I want to share with you a perspective about the goodness of God in the midst of extreme suffering.  I have no idea where you are spiritually.  But I would want to be reassured of God’s love during a time like this, if I were walking through a dark valley.

Nothing comes as a surprise to God because he is in charge.  And nothing happens that is not filtered through his loving hands. Don’t fear; you won’t say anything to him that will shock or hurt him or cause him to love you less. He has known about this cancer.  He is with you in every breath you take and during every doctor’s visit.  He is helping you in this transition.

When I am struggling, I often remind myself of the truth that Jesus sustains everything by the power of his word – Hebrews 1:3 (or by his powerful word, as some translations say) or in Colossians, Paul says about Jesus, “He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together. I literally will say, “thank you Lord, that you are sustaining me by the power of your word!”

So how do we know that God loves you and me? We know about God from both what is written about him, the record of his thoughts and actions in the Old Testament and also the accounts of the actions and words of God in the flesh, Jesus.  The God-man came to save us from ourselves. We NEED saving, because we’ve all gone astray and are confused like the lost sheep he calls us. He tenderly leads us.

Here’s what Luke recounts in his 9th chapter, verses 4-6

What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’

Ann – it’s NEVER too late, as long as there is breath in you, to turn to Jesus for help, for strength and even for salvation.  He doesn’t hold anything against the one who seeks him, no matter his or her past.

If you are already a Christ – follower, then I would encourage you to think about heaven and talk about it with your husband.  If he is a Christian too, then he knows he’ll see you again!

For the believer, all that is mortal is being swallowed up by life. We will live forever with Jesus. In new bodies, to boot!  The proof that we will get new bodies (different, but recognizable by others) is seen in the fact that Jesus DID come back after being resurrected. He walked, talked and ate with his disciples for several weeks.  They touched his physical, resurrected body.

This fact of his being resurrected represents God the Father saying to the Jews who had him crucified, ‘You all were wrong in thinking Jesus was blaspheming when he claimed to be one with me.  Everything he said was true.  His resurrection is my verdict of “NOT GUILTY”.’

As I close, I want you to know what I like about God, what gives me comfort and I hope will comfort you, too.

God, because it’s his nature, his character, showers us with

  • loving-kindness
  • mercy
  • faith (a gift)
  • fair and righteous decisions
  • truth

All his decisions are perfect.  We might not see or understand everything right now, but he does work out all things for the good of those whom he loves and who love him.

Please know that I am praying for you and your husband daily.  If you would care to talk more, have your husband call me.  I’d be happy to come visit  during the Christmas holidays.

Praying that you know the true peace of God that is beyond earthly understanding.

 

 

Best Book on Marriage

December 3, 2012

Maria Love, Marriage, Sanctification, Uncategorized , Leave a comment

I avoid most books on parenting.  They make me feel guilty.  They remind me of all the things I don’t do right. And as a parent of adult children, I still don’t read them.

I also never read any marriage books until our union showed signs of unraveling  at year 20.  Then I hungrily sought them out.  Christian girlfriends guided me toward Biblical books which protected me from the “You deserve better” pabulum.  Dipping into new paradigms for Christian marriage was eye-opening and gave me hope that I could perhaps help to heal our relationship. I learned to be gentler, to seek to please Mike and pray for him more effectively.

God’s grace, not any book or counseling brought Mike and me back together to grow stronger as ‘one flesh’ and we have enjoyed 12 sweet years since that painful upheaval.

Recently I started reading Tim Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage.  We are fans of Keller’s clear exposition of biblical teachings both in sermon and other books.  So I knew I would enjoy reading what he & his wife Kathy had to say.   But I didn’t expect anything new or different than the other biblically-based treatments of Christian marriage.

*****Get ready for some über-gushing******

This is THE best book on marriage I have EVER read!!

What is startling is that TK throws on its head both the Western and Eastern views of marriage.

Western – romantic, physical, sexual optimization in a partner

Eastern – communal, economic and social optimization through the marriage

Instead he presents marriage as a signing on to a life-long journey with this other person toward Christ- likeness, via God’s sanctifying work.

From page 121 –

Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love.  It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me!  I want to be part of that.  I want to partner with you & God in the journey you are taking to his throne.  And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this.  I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’”  Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel.  Each spouse then should give him-or herself to be a vehicle for that work and envision the day that you will stand together before God, seeing each other presented in spotless beauty and glory.

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Now THAT’s an institution worth celebrating and promoting. Buy the book and enjoy the adventure.  It’s perfect for us already-marrieds, the newly-weds and those who are engaged.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-\h/+0eal our marriage.  For the first time I learned what kind of wife God desired me to be. I learned about respect, gentleness and fitting in with my husband.  I also learned to pray for him. (and in case you’re wondering, God healed our relationship and has blessed us beyond anything we could have imagined – isn’t that just like our Heavenly Father???)

But it wasn’t until I started reading Tim Keller’s book on marriage that I felt excited about how great marriage can be.  My husband and I are long-time Keller fans and have read most of his books.  So when The Meaning of Marriage came out last year I bought it.  I just hadn’t gotten around to reading it until now.   Warming!  Get ready for some über-gushing:  this is THE best book on marriage.

Although I haven’t finished reading it, I am writing now, this first weekend in December, in case you haven’t completed your Christmas shopping and are looking around for a gift to give seasoned couples, newlyweds or the engaged.  This book provides a hope-filled vision of what Christian marriage is meant to be.  I am finding my joy and gladness in being married to Mike topped off and refreshed.  And what I sensed all along about the blessing of Christian marriage is being reinforced.

What makes Keller’s book different is that he turns on its head both

– the ‘old-world’/ Middle Eastern/ African view of 8/

nstead he describes the ideal mate/best friend as the one whose spiritual end-product you glimpse and are excited to be part of.  A kind of “ I see what God is doing in your life to sanctify you and I want to be part of that spiritual adventure.”

Both partners are looking to Jesus and being transformed into His every-increasing likeness.  Partners are NOT looking at each other to fulfill them.

Buy the book, read and discuss it together and be excited about the journey.

 

I surrender

November 25, 2012

Maria Uncategorized , Leave a comment

My new acronym to stop me before I sin again is MMAASS – Maria’s motives are always sinfully suspect.  When I was growing up my father would warn me and correct me by remarking, “Maria, you like to pull wings off of flies!” He meant that I deliberately enjoyed and would engage in saying something to hurt someone.

The other day, I did it again. Emailed someone with the intention of making them feel stupid and making myself look smart and logical in my reasons.  I’m getting sick of my same sin, yet….it lures me and holds out the promise of future payoff.  And I’m a sucker.

This ongoing sin lures me in my on-line (mostly uni-directional)  dealings with a couple of family members.  Frequently I send them and forward on postings/ essays to make them think, “Oh, Maria is so right about X!  I should change how I think.”  At least that is what I fantasize will happen.

Why do I need to do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G to make myself look better in the eyes of someone?  (and why do I  assume I will look ‘better/more superior’? – maybe I am flattering myself!)

Isn’t it enough to know that the triune God……

-planned for me before creation

-with a joyful heart came to earth to live a perfect life and suffer a painful death for my sins

-forgave and rescued me

-has linked His power and name with mine forever

-works on my behalf even now, as personal intercessor and trainer in holiness

-offers constant access to the King and happy Sovereign of the universe

-is keeping a spot prepared for me in heaven

Isn’t all that enough?  Why do I need to work to get other people to look at me with awe?

All smelly sin.

So, with Christ’s help and the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I renounce that sick hobby, this day, 25 November 2012.  Amen!

PS:  Knowing me, I’ll succumb again, but there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.  So I will depend on the future grace and gift of repentance and forgiveness.

The Logic of Love

November 18, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Sanctification, Sin, Thankfulness, Thinking, Uncategorized , , , , , 2 Comments

Logic won out the other day in our household.

My husband sometimes puts me up on a pedestal by thinking that I am ‘the more Godly’ of the two of us. (imagine THAT kind of argument:  “ No, I’m worse than you!  Here let me prove it to you….”)

He sometimes indulges in a kind of self-pitying spiral of feeling bad about himself. One evening last week, I nailed him with an undeniable deductive argument that was both valid and true.  He had to smile in spite of himself.  I was truly Holy-Spirit inspired, because I don’t think I would have come up with the proof myself.

My reasoning was this:

God only gives good and perfect gifts.

God gave me my husband.

Therefore, my husband is a good and perfect gift.

Now I’m not saying my husband is without sin.  I’m using the term ‘perfect’ to mean 100 % suited for me in every way, sent to bless me, to aid me in my sanctification.  I know, ‘sanctification’ is a fancy Christian-ese word. What it means is the process that is meant to “rub off the rough areas of your personality….train you in humility….give you practice in self-less living…..strengthen your submission muscle to make you teachable to God”

You see, learning to love Michael is helping me grow in holiness for, “….. without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14b

So no matter how difficult it gets living with another person, knowing that my heavenly Father picked him out for me, from before the creation of the universe, helps me accept more easily all that happens between us as coming from the hand of God.  This reasoning softens my approach and keeps me praying in the midst of a disagreement,

“Thank you, Father, for this painful encounter.  You mean this for my good.  May I see this as ‘gift’ and respond in the way you want me to.  Guide me. And bless my husband.  Thank you for him.”

I don’t always reason through like that.  In the heat of emotions, I can feel sorry for myself and get a chip on my shoulder with the best of you.  Remembering that God is in control of ALL that comes to us keeps my conclusions from veering off into ‘untruth’.   It’s also humbling and painful to think that God may be allowing my hurtful, sharp and ‘irrational’ remarks to wound my dearest friend for his own good.

Thankfully I can report, that the Holy Spirit is causing both of us to see and regret more quickly the pain we cause one another.  We are learning to repent and ask each other’s forgiveness within the same segment of the day, often within 30 minutes or fewer.

And more broadly speaking, why does God allow such sin?  One reason that I can see, is that the reconciliation Mike and I experience after hardness of heart is the sweetest sensation we have ever felt.  I think we are meant to taste and see in those moments the wonder of reconciliation with the Creator of all things, our Father and Eternal Logos.

So on this start of Thanksgiving week 2012; I give thanks to God for His gift of Michael Francis Cochrane.  “Je t’aime fort, mon petit ours!”

Addicted to calm waters

November 11, 2012

Maria Contentment, Peace, Uncategorized , , , , Leave a comment

As I write this, Calvin seems better. His downward spiral after some routine surgery led to the vet calling me during my 8th grade logic class. Either he had serious neurological problems or he was a member of a tiny percentage of cats allergic to that particular antibiotic.  Dr. Crist gently mentioned, “If this is a neurological issue, euthanasia might be the kindest option.”

As the tears welled up and I reached for tissues, my 24 budding adults didn’t know quite what to do.  Through sniffles and a tight throat, I explained what the vet had said and what God was teaching me through this experience.  Friday was another day colored by difficult circumstances that had been unfolding during the past two weeks.  Even before my mind absorbed the possibility of actually losing Calvin, God had been teaching me.

Negative lessons:

  • Functionally, I am addicted to a problem-free life.
  • I act as if my pets and family members are mine.
  • The more I need circumstances to go my way, the less I have of real peace.
  • I need trials and difficult circumstances to wean me off of false and damaging ideas.

Positive lessons:

  • I am a steward of anything that I previously looked at as ‘mine.’
  • I am here on Earth to do my Master’s bidding.
  • My desires for peace, health, comfort, rest are good and legitimate and given to me by God.  Where I go wrong is in expecting that they will be satisfied my way here on Earth.  But in heaven, I will be bowled over by how they are met.
  • If I have been bought (redeemed) and forgiven by God because of Jesus’ work on my behalf, then I have a new full-time and life-long calling.  I am a soldier AND ambassador in the Lord’s army.  My orientation must change.  It is no longer Maria’s life and Maria’s agenda and Maria’s desires.  I am a servant.
  • I am to put on HIS clothes and armor each day before going out to share the terms of peace with the remaining rebels who haven’t heard the news about the Conquering King.
  • I wear my wedding invitation to the divine, heavenly banquet.  When Maria died and was reborn by the Holy Spirit, her admittance to the Eternal Party was woven and sewn into her new self.  The blood-written letters lovingly spell out what awaits me.  One day I will be ushered into the presence of the Lamb and the Father.  It is THEN that I can relax.
  • In the meantime, like Jesus demonstrated 2000 years ago, my expectation should be to strip my cumbersome robe of Maria’s agenda, wrap a towel around my waist and wash the feet of those in my path.

Reading and personalizing an Andrew Murray quote on acquiescing to God’s sovereignly-sent trials has helped me.  I summarize what he wrote with 4 prepositions –   By, In, Under, For.

These troubled waters (picture roily seas like the kind Peter walked on) have been sent to me

  • BY GOD’S DIVINE APPOINTMENT
  • IN HIS KEEPING
  • UNDER HIS TRAINING
  • FOR MY GOOD, FOR THE LENGTH OF TIME HE SEES FIT

And what are troubled waters? –  Any circumstance that I don’t like, such as

– problems and disappointments

– delays and frustrations

– trouble and disaster

– sickness and death

– even evil

In short – unmet expectations.

Yet, I act and feel surprised when calm waters evaporate. I shouldn’t.  After all, didn’t Jesus affirm that we would have troubles in this life?  Why do I work so hard to avoid what is inevitable in a fallen world?

As bleak as the above might seem, we can take hope.  These trials are NOT a cosmic ‘whoops’.   God IS in charge.  The Fall is not a surprise.  He has ordained it and is using it for His purposes – His Good purposes.  We can trust Him.

So like Peter, to the extent that we keep our eyes and thoughts fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and trust Him to walk with us through the Valley and through rough waters, we will grow in experiencing His true peace.  NOT the peace that depends on circumstances.

PS:  If our desires won’t be satisfied until the next life, shouldn’t we be coaching our kids how to delay gratification?     

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