Too much freedom

March 3, 2013

Maria Peace, Psalm 16, Uncategorized 2 Comments

I’m reading Crime and Punishment.  The sophomores slogged through it in January after Christmas and I thought I’d give it a go, so as to plug one of the many gaping holes in my literature background. (don’t tell anyone, but this UVa grad double-majored in Russian Studies & Foreign Affairs without EVER reading Dostoevsky in Russian, let alone English!)

Already by page 60, my mind is whirring with frightening thoughts.  The protagonist, a poor university student who has just pawned some family heirlooms for drink, is captured by the idea of killing the very pawn-broker.  He overhears that the rich, but cruel old woman treats her feeble-minded younger step-sister with manipulative severity. At a tavern, two men hypothesize that the ‘good’ achieved by distributing the dead woman’s hoarded rubles would outweigh the ‘bad’ of murder.

Setting aside the moral reasoning, the young man feels gripped with an idea that he can’t escape.  Having visualized himself carrying out the crime, he is helplessly compelled.

This fatalistic plot reminds me of my former upside-down reasoning when I was in the throes of bulimia. Here’s how I would rationally pre-meditate a binge: “If I can picture myself consuming an entire store-bought bag of chocolate chip cookies, one after the other, then I have to carry it out.”  And I ALWAYS followed through.  I never said, “Maria – that is CRAZY logic!”  (But thanks be to God – who rescued me from that perverse pit in my mid-20s.  How did He do that?  Not by will-power or effort, but by the ‘renewing of my mind’.)

I think the Nazis must have lived by the same dark logic.  If they could creatively invent a new way of ‘eliminating’ Jews, then they had to carry it out. When people point fingers at murderers and categorize them as ‘Other’, I often think, “That could be me, given the ‘right’ circumstances.” I am not surprised by evil, because I know me!!

But why shouldn’t you smother someone sleeping………. or eat all the cookies……..or pull the fire alarm to see what will happen……… or ‘key’ a car……… or destroy a pear tree’s fruit for the sake of the idea (pre-Christian Augustine’s childhood prank)?  Horrid ideas flutter through our minds more than occasionally, don’t they?  Or am I the only one?  There’s got to be a compelling reason not to act on them.

Last night, reading this fictional character’s thought process scared me. The familiar feelings evoked in me were like that of one of our indoor cats who somehow finds himself on the outside of his safe boundary.  Once, Luther slipped through a cracked back door to chase after a possum. The possum skedaddled and all of a sudden Luther realized his new identity and location as ‘a stranger in a    strange land.’   He didn’t know how to act outside the house!   Luther on the Scanner - Dec 08

Fortunately for him and to my great relief, Mike was able to capture lost Luther and set him back inside his usual habitat. The reassuring four walls proscribe the freedom he can safely enjoy.  That is how it is with us as Christians.  No boundaries – no limits to what we can do.  And what the mind can conceive, the body can carry out: no matter how perverse (to wit – our current culture).

I’m not proud to admit it but when I went off to college, my mother’s way of dealing with boundaries was simply to say, “Nice girls don’t”.  That was not compelling.

Even though Mike and I became Christians in our early 20s, it has taken us 3 decades to understand and internalize the FACT of Jesus’ love for us. As we absorb the logical ramifications of His history-changing act, our sense of identity is slowly changing. Who you are DOES affect what you DO.

I like my boundaries.  I NEED to know God’s kids don’t do XYZ because of who they are in Christ.  My life is much simpler with fewer choices.

In summary, the compelling reason to abstain from my innate deceptively wicked mind & heart is two-fold:

  1. For the 3 score & ten:  ‘Gospel-logic living’ is both easier AND peace-promoting. (peace with God & peace with self because of Christ’s work on the cross on my behalf)
  2. The promise of a future life as one of the heirs to an amazing, mind-boggling, better-than-we-can-ask-or imagine forever life with a happy holy trinity, myriads of to-be-discovered brothers & sisters, and awesome angels.

I like my sheepfold, as did David inspiring him to pen with poetry, ‘the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;  surely I have a delightful inheritance’. (Psalm 16:6)

Do I really want to invest more time with Crime & Punishment?  One of my students in French 4 says it is one of the best books she has ever read.  On that recommendation, I will read on.      

What do you have in your hand?

February 28, 2013

Maria Colossians, Mark, Uncategorized, Work, Worship , 5 Comments

“Ce qui était en son pouvoir, elle l’a fait » – Marc 14 :8 

What was in her power, she did it.

I love the French version of this little fact about Mary who anointed Jesus’ feet with expensive oil, giving him a foot massage!

In doing a bit of internet research, I found out that this Mary is likely Lazarus’ sister, the one who had a previous foot reputation.  She would gather with the men and listen to Jesus, sitting at his feet while her sister fumed in the kitchen.

What I extract from this verse is that we all have SOMETHING, some kind of ability, gift, talent or goods.  And when we use it in a worshipful and loving way, we receive recognition, but not from men…….

There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her. (verses 4, 5)

My friend and I were discussing a Latin phrase yesterday – “Laborare est orare – Orare est laborare” that is “to work is to worship – to worship is to work.”

I find the 2nd part of the motto the more interesting.  When we ascribe worth to God, we are worshipping, doing what we were meant to do.  That IS our work.

“What am I going to do with my life????”  – is the cry of my seniors where I teach.  Tomorrow is the 1st day of March.  They have 3 more months of high school and then off to college they go.  They are angsting over the first significant (so they think) decision of their lives.

But truly, our life is but a collection of moments, one after another.  All we have is:

THIS moment – this SECOND.       

How should we work in this moment?  By doing what is in our hand to do.

–      What has God given you that you can use or do right now in a way that shows the world that –  you love the eternal, infinite, unchanging only true and wise God?

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Paul’s inspired advice to the Colossians, 3:17

What calms my anxious heart when I think….. I have to have….. my way…

February 23, 2013

Maria Anxiety, Control, Faith, Peace, Philippians, Uncategorized , Leave a comment

Do not be anxious about anything…Phil 4:6

 

Who, today, is NOT anxious?  We all have circumstances that we are hoping will work out a certain way.  And the fact that we are not in control, and therefore, have no guarantee that things will work out the way we “NEED” them to happen is our recipe for anxiety.

  • Travel arrangements in the midst of impending snowstorms
  • Medical treatments to bring a loved one back to health
  • Babies growing in the womb
  • The safe return of a son, daughter, mom or dad from deployment
  • Job cuts to be avoided; new jobs to had
  • A buyer to come along and offer the ‘right price’ at the ‘right time’
  • A special friend for a lonely child
  • A college acceptance; that certain scholarship
  • A viable pregnancy this time and not another miscarriage
  • A marriage proposal that is ‘just right’
  • A marriage to back away from the precipice and heal
  • A spouse or adult child to stay sober
  • Even….the pain that comes from not knowing but desperately praying for a loved one to come to Christ

I came across a line in a book that offers much more security and comfort than ‘hoping’ that the right circumstances will prevail.  I don’t know where I got it, so I can’t give credit.  But the author was obviously inspired by Biblical truth in Romans 8:28. Here is my paraphrase:

May we pin our hopes not on the ‘right’ circumstances to come about, but on God’s promise to work out ALL circumstances (‘panta’)  for our good and for His glory.  And since God’s desire and will for those who LOVE GOD (the only qualification) is to conform us to our elder Brother, Jesus, then we can relax in the FACT that His plan WILL be done.

As you know, Mike and I are waiting on 3 biggies in our transition to Phase 4 of our working life:

1) The ‘right buyer’ for our house in enough time so we can indeed purchase the ‘right house’

2) The ‘right job’ for me in Asheville at the ‘right income’

3) The ‘right number and kind ‘of paying clients for Mike’s consulting business

 

But we don’t have to be anxious because ALL the details, twists and turns of each day are being providentially controlled by Him.  I don’t have to hold my breath and hope that my particular version of ‘Maria & Mike’s best life’ works out.

Two problems with THAT life script – it might not be what is actually best for us.  And I have no ability to make/force it to happen.  Minor details, right?

But here is what I DO have – an absolute iron-clad/blood-bought promise that Jesus, my archegos: i.e. chief leader/controller/ director/ champion/prince/ author and teleiotes: i.e. finisher/completer/perfector of the faith He planted in me when I was

———–born again…… transferred from the Kingdom of Darkness to the Kingdom of Light….. crucified with Him and given new life………

IS IN CHARGE of all the details concerning us and is guiding them/ controlling them/ orchestrating them…for our best as He defines best.

Breathe in….breathe out….and join me in opening YOUR clenched fist.  What are  you pinning your hope on ? If it’s on anything but Christ our Rock, then your mental state will continue to drive you nuts.  Not exactly a good walking billboard for the benefits of belonging to ‘The Way, the Truth and the Life’.

 Your future includes manna. It will come. There is no sense devising future scenarios now because God will do more than you anticipate. When you understand God’s plan to give future grace, you have access to what is arguably God’s most potent salve against worry and fear. (Ed Welch, Running Scared)

 

Sex and Sacraments

February 18, 2013

Maria Marriage, sacraments, Uncategorized , , Leave a comment

  I love the concept of ‘category error’. That’s when someone criticizes something for lacking an attribute impossible for it even to have.  Like saying that there is something wrong with water because it doesn’t provide fiber.  Or the Russian cosmonaut saucily boasting that he had been to space and not seen God.  (Silly, God is not a material/ physical being.  There’s no WAY you could have seen Him!)

So in thinking about categories, I want to make the boast that Tim & Kathy Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage, is in a category of books unparalleled.  It is NOT at all like any book on marriage that you might have read or heard about. 

This is a book that will bless you, whether you are a teenage girl or guy thinking you might want to marry someday….or you are engaged to be married…..or you are in an unhappy marriage and are searching for a helpful paradigm …or you are like us, coming up on 33 years of married life.

I know I’ve talked about their book before.  My enthusiasm has not waned.

Mike even read it and he has NEVER picked up ANY book on relationships, whether on parenting or marriage or how to live with Felines.

Here’s what spiritual gem I reaped yesterday as I was finishing it.  (Mike zipped through in a week; I’ve been savoring it slowly, just on Sundays at breakfast.)

The Kellers describe married sex as a “Covenant Renewal Ceremony”.  I like that.  They say that when you experience that ultimate physical pleasure in that totally safe & secure place with your spouse, you bubble over enthusiastically with verbal expressions or thoughts like:  “I love you SO much!  I feel SO close to you!”   For a few moments afterwards you both bask in contented affection and oneness.

I think I understand the sacrament of Communion better now after reading the Kellers describe the role that sex plays in married life.  If sex is the covenant renewal ceremony reinforcing one’s marriage vows, then the Eucharist serves the same purpose.  I have always struggled to see what is some find deep and meaningful about the actually sacrament of Christ’s body & blood.  I’ve asked myself,

“Just how does the Eucharist administer God’s grace, sustaining and empowering Christians?”

Is it in the power of remembering and reenacting? Is it reflecting on how much it cost God to send His son Jesus as a representative human?  Is it being mindful of how bad we are, and how much we deserve Hell?

In comparing how ‘loved & at one’ I am with my husband after an especially powerful ‘Covenant Renewal Ceremony”  in our bedroom, I think I see a bit more clearly how Grace might come to me through participating in Communion.

What I REALLY love at our PCA church is how the pastor tailors to us his biblical explanation of what this institution of a New Covenant means.  Each time we celebrate Communion, whether it is Pete or Jeff, they link their sermon TO the Eucharist and set it in context, making it really meaningful.

I’m getting a better sense of what a great gift it is to be part of God’s forever family.  And just like in those afterglow minutes with Mike where I am SO grateful to be married to him, I now leave Church more in love with Jesus, the bridegroom. It’s definitely a maturing process, but I think I’m growing and cultivating a deeper and truer appreciation of the Trinity along with a desire to protect, honor and love the Body of Christ.    

Stages – or confessions of a ‘has been’

February 16, 2013

Maria Uncategorized, Waiting , 2 Comments

The spotlight has moved on. Mike & I and our two boys used to be at the center of everyone’s attention……especially at Church

We were part of that vital segment of society called young family; we were important.  Only thing is, we didn’t realize it at the time.

I wasn’t aware how much a sense of identity and belonging I enjoyed & derived from that role.

To be honest, do we ever TAKE time to process and evaluate when we’re in the midst of dancing from one school/sport/music/XYZ activity to another?   On the surface, as one mom to another, we might have shared common complaints, but it was from a place of feeling VITAL and NEEDED.

For the most part, Mike and I have adapted well to the “Empty Nest”.  We work our jobs and we look forward to nesting in the evenings, sharing dinner and conversation.  We rejoice when we talk to and visit with our kids and grandkids.  But they live plane-rides away. We find ourselves now at the margins of their lives, when before we shared center-stage with them.  Apparently that is normal, but it does take some mental & emotional adjustment. And a going back to God’s Word to gain our new bearings.

Mike read the other day that parents always love their kids more than their kids love them.   Ouch! Guess I didn’t think how my parents felt when Mike and I struck off on our own.  How did THEY feel when ‘Act II’ opened for them?

I must have missed the Entre’Act – that segué when the stage-hands physically create a new scene.  So last weekend was revelatory to me.  Loud and clear, came the news that cameras were rolling for this next Act in my life.

I participated in the PCC Women’s retreat 9-10 February.  (PCC is the church which houses my school – I’ve enjoyed taking part in about 4 of their retreats in past years.  I know some of the gals and they are a friendly group, willing to take in a non-member).  What struck me this year was how, at age 55 with adult children no longer living in the area and grandkids that we see only occasionally, my roles have changed.

I am now one of those OTHER women!  You know that group; the older gals who are supposed to guide and instruct the younger women?  My job description got updated and I didn’t see it coming!  My gifting, bequeathed to me upon my arrival at the shores of menopause,  is to be interested in/ help out/ listen well to the ‘younger moms’ who are right in the thick of life with little kids and husbands, etc.

I guess I felt envious. (Forgive me, Father!) And I wasn’t anticipating this insight.

The couple of days that followed the retreat were difficult. Tears & emotions that burbled out all over my surprised husband came from not having accurately articulated to myself some newly discovered truths.  (Preach the Gospel to yourself daily!)

But thanks be to God, Gospel truth for this new job description has begun to sink in and guide me as I study how to “Abide in Christ”.  Too slowly obviously, ( but forward, nonetheless!) I am making baby steps and learning the lines for my new role.

Picture a triangle with “Abiding in Christ” safely in the middle.  Security-Identity- Belonging are the 3 corners.  If you are a new creation because you have been divinely and spiritually seeded by the 3rd member of the God-head, then you are safe in the Triune Refuge.  The key is to do life from THAT position..and not to wander outside looking to create one’s OWN identity and purpose.

I’m going to have to get used to my new role. Meanwhile, in the midst of dabbling in self-pity this week, I was reminded of a profound truth, one that CS Lewis has articulated –

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

I take that to mean that if we have a longing that leaves us with an empty ache, then surely satisfaction is coming.  Knowing that, I can wait for that sure, yet future, GLORIOUS fulfillment by God in heaven.  One day, I WILL rest secure at the center of love and belonging-ness with family, but in a way that is tailor-made for me.

So even though, in THIS life under the Sun, Mike and I are on the tailing end, the best, the INFINITE best is yet to come.

As Robert Browning penned in Rabbi Ben Ezra:

 

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in His hand

Who saith “A whole I planned,

Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

 

Security Triangle

Reflections on waiting

February 8, 2013

Maria Faith, Fear, Genesis, Prayer, Uncategorized, Waiting , , , , , 1 Comment

This waiting thing – we’re in the thick of it!

  • Waiting for the house to sell
  • Waiting to get a teaching job in NC
  • Waiting for Mike’s first paying client
  • Waiting for Wes to return from Afghanistan

Not that waiting isn’t part of others’ lives, too:

  • Our brother and sister-in-law are waiting for her immigration paperwork to come through.
  • Friends are waiting for babies – to be born and to be adopted
  • Many sisters & brothers in Christ are waiting for loved ones to be brought into God’s forever family
  • Other friends are waiting for healing and pain to subside
  • A friend is waiting for her husband finally to receive the career recognition he deserves and longs for
  • Another friend is waiting for debt to be paid off so she can marry

I realized something last night that shifted my view of how God is working.  I’m a lot more relaxed this time around selling a house.  The first time was when we were 27 years old.  Mike had moved out to Monterey, Graham was a baby and we were desperate to sell a house in Arizona.  DES-PER-ATE.  I bugged the real estate agent every day.  God was gracious and brought a buyer in 3 months, despite my total lack of faith.

The last time we sold a house, I had started growing spiritually through the means of Bible Study Fellowship, but was living functionally still as an atheist.  I was 42 this time around.  As I fretted internally, worrying about 30 times a day, “What if…..!!!!”  (at least I didn’t phone our realtor every day!), God brought welcome relief in the form of a verse.  We had studied Genesis the previous year in BSF and all of a sudden I recalled the promise God made to Abraham when the old man, like me, was fearful, tired & discouraged.

Gen 15:1 Fear not Abram, I am your shield and your very great reward!

All of a sudden, my behavior switched.  I consciously chose to sub in that very promise from God each and every time I caught myself falling into worry and fear.  I would literally shake my head and actually stand up to that worry/fear thought:

NO!  then I would say to the Lord…

God, YOU are my shield and my very great reward, therefore, I will not fear.

Instead of playing the worry movie 20 – 30 times in a day, I affirmed God’s Word over and over again.  A month later, God brought the buyer.

Now I’m 55 and we’re selling our 3rd house.  My goal is to offer my waiting to God as worship.  I want to PLEASE my Father by demonstrating that I trust him.  As Graham reminded me yesterday in a phone call, ‘We have a rich and powerful Father, so we can relax’.

The realization that struck me last night came in reflecting about how we came to find the house that we are going to purchase in North Carolina, God-willing.  From Thanksgiving through mid January, we had been ‘studying’ available houses, making a list of features, comparing them in Excel (a side benefit that comes from being married to an analytical husband!) all in preparation for a house-visiting trip last month.  Our goal was to make an offer on a house over that January weekend since Waynesville is 8 hours away by car from Newport News.

We arrived on Saturday at the real estate agent’s office and in addition to the list of houses we had planned to visit; she added one that had ‘just popped up’,  being listed 2 days earlier on the Thursday.  It wasn’t part of our ‘careful study’.

And as you might guess, that is the house we have chosen.

Do you see what I realized last night?  At just the RIGHT time, God brought ‘our house’ to us, not dependent on our analysis and searching.

If I extrapolate, at just the RIGHT time, God will bring:

The buyer for our current house…….The job offer for me……etc

Yes, our efforts are important – But God doesn’t want frenzied, desperate efforts.  Reasonable next steps/actions that come from a deep, relaxed and confident dependence on God are the kind that honor our Father.

Lord, thank you for Christ:  my Anchor, my Blissful Rock, my Big Brother, my Champion and Author and Finisher of the faith implanted in me.  Give me the humility to keep casting these cares back on You, because I KNOW You love us and have our best interests at heart.

God meets our needs very creatively!

It’s not about You!

February 3, 2013

Maria Gospel, Sanctification, Sin, Uncategorized , , Leave a comment

Do you ever feel ashamed of the lack of sanctification in your life?  Does that keep you from telling someone about Jesus?  Afraid to promote the cause of Christ because you can’t point to much visible difference He has made in your life?

Last Friday at the gym I listened to a podcast as I was doing my stretching routine.  What the pastor explained liberated me from that mouth-shutting fear and set my thinking right.

All along, I have thought:

“If I tell someone who really knows me the Good News about how God came to Earth to save us from our sins, that person will probably find me hypocritical.  All he or she has to do is contrast my DECLARATION that Jesus has made a difference in my life with RECOLLECTIONS of past unkind remarks I might have made to them, an aspect of my selfish attitude, my self-centeredness…..you name it.”

These thoughts have worked together to keep me from taking advantage of opportunities to talk about God.

But the Good News is NOT about the differences in ME that others can see.  The actual change is something INVISIBLE, that is not physically noticeable to material beings/ aka those who are alive and walking around in bodies.

The enmity barrier between God the Father and each one of us is REMOVED when we turn from our dead, futile works of trying to make ourselves acceptable, when we put our trust in CHRIST’s righteousness offered to us.

You can’t see either the wrath hanging over an unbeliever’s head, but it is there!  You can’t see the Holy Spirit implanted forever into the heart of a believer, but He is there!

So what we are free to share JOYFULLY & ENTHUSIASTICALLY & FREELY is that by  receiving this gift of mercy, all our sins (past, present and future) have been forever nailed to the cross when Jesus’ hands and feet were pierced and fastened to that wood.

My life doesn’t have to be exemplar before I open my mouth.  It’s not about me.  It’s about Him and what He has done for me, for you!  That takes the pressure off.

Has being added to God’s Forever Family made a difference in my life, that is – my actions and attitudes?  Yes!  But a lot of that is still being worked out as my mind is being renewed and changed.  Although I received the Holy Spirit implanted in me at age 24, I didn’t start to grow until joining Bible Study Fellowship the fall after my 40th birthday.  Fossilized thought patterns and resultant actions take a while to be transformed.

As the saying goes, “First God catches fish and then He cleans them”.  So go ahead  now and tell other fish you encounter about the most marvelous Fish Food imaginable.  About the Fisherman-Artist who…… once He pulls you out of dead, stinky waters, puts you into Fresh water and starts lovingly crafting you into a new creation.

 

 

“My faith is SO puny…” and other nonsensical remarks

January 30, 2013

Maria Faith, Hebrews, Hope, Prayer, Uncategorized, Waiting , , Leave a comment

Which of the two situations described below make you doubt the sufficiency of your faith?

– a BIG need that looms large and feels almost impossible?

0r

-seeing someone else set ALL their hope and trust on God?

**

I read a Ben Franklin quote the other day, “He that lives upon hope will die fasting.”

I think THAT sentiment sums up most folks’ view of hope.

But does Franklin’s hope refer to the Christian hope? -The hope that is an anchor to our soul, firm and secure, i.e. CHRIST?  (Hebrews 6:19)

Not at all.  Ben Franklin is talking about the kind of hope that is wishful thinking, the kind we all employ when we say, “I hope it doesn’t rain for the picnic!”

Christian hope is a different concept – it’s a firm assurance, expectation, and guarantee.  And you know what else; it does NOT find its origin in us!!!!  That actually is a relief.

You ask, “Maria, you mean I don’t have to gin up my slacking, weak faith? “

No!!!! – because it’s not YOUR faith to begin with.  If you are a Christian, then you have had the faith of Christ implanted in you.  So the REAL question is…….

Are you a true, authentic Christian?  Here’s the test:

  • Do you actually believe who Jesus the Christ says He is? – the Son of God who alone is the way to the Father, who alone is sufficient to have his payment for your sins count for you, who alone is sufficient to have his perfectly lived life count for you?
  • And do you desire, in some measure, to rely on Him FOR standing in your stead at the Executioner’s Block, to rely on Him FOR having earned ALL the righteous credit you’ll ever need to please God?

If you can say YES to the above, then that is proof that this alien/foreign/other faith is from outside of you.  The content next to the above 2 bullet points is NOT obvious, not gleanable from nature or from the world.  You had to have HEARD that information and there had to have been a spot created in your heart/mind to accept and receive that info as the most amazingly good news and way to have peace with God and be FREEEEEEEEED of your guilt.

Be assured: if you are Christian, then the faith you have been given is ENOUGH.

*

Mike and I are so thankful and grateful to have this opportunity to trust God for some big things in our own personal lives.

Most of the time our prayers are taken up for all those whom we love,  that is the needs of:

a)   family members

b)   friends

c)    co-workers and neighbors

d)   brothers and sisters in Christ

e)   and then those who are cared for by a/b/c/d

Now Mike and I get to watch, expect and wait for God to work in a big way in our very own personal circumstances.  We are SO excited.  We know our God as the One who does ABUNDANTLY more than we can ask or imagine.  He is the epitome of creativity.

God has already answered 1 of our big 5 – we found a house to buy on our one house-hunting trip to Waynesville, NC.

Now we are watching/expecting/waiting to see how He

  • Sells our current house in the time period set by the seller of the NC house
  • Provides me with a job at the income we have determined is sufficient
  • Brings paying clients to Mike as a business consultant
  • Leads us to our new church family

We feel blessed to have been given this opportunity to enjoy front-row seats and see what He will do.  And then many of you will rejoice with us and find new strength and desire to exercise the gift of faith and prayer given to you.

Pray on and watch for great things! 

The gift of patience, an acquired skill

January 23, 2013

Maria 1 Timothy, Faith, Hebrews, Patience, Peace, Prayer, Uncategorized , , , 1 Comment

 

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what God had promised – Hebrews 6:15

Waiting, patiently or ‘Macrothymeo’ that is ‘longtime – passion’ according to Strongs 3116 – keeping one’s desire in check for a long time.

How do you think God gets us to practice this skill and get better at it?  Right!  He sends us lots of situations perfectly suited to chip away at our defects.  The Bible declares Jesus to be the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). That means that true faith is a gift from Him and that He is also the one charged with perfecting what He implants in us.

Our brother and sister-in-law were married 15 months ago and expected a 6 month wait before Eve would receive the correct immigration status and permission as a Canadian to live in the States with her husband Steve.  They are still waiting.  We have watched their patience with admiration and awe.  Surely God is doing great things in this couple and individually, crafting a stronger reliance on Him.

Some friends of ours waited agonizingly month after month for an adoption to go through.  Their faith grew one week at a time, as they learned, as we all must, that they are not in control.  They were rewarded with both an adoptable newborn AND a pregnancy.  We just learned yesterday that their patience and trust in God has borne yet more fruit as a hoped for Army situation has been granted after a 3rd drawn-out request.

Our dear Anne waits for her husband Wes to return safe and sound from Afghanistan. We pray for endurance and grace for both of them.  Each day is a battle between fear and faith – and not just when our hearts desire big things but in all circumstances.  Waiting is part of the human condition.  Our spiritual ancestors Abraham and Sarah waited on God for His promise to be visible.

And we, too, are waiting for hoped for circumstances to become visible.

Mike and I are waiting/expecting/ hoping/ keeping watch (all the same Hebrew word – qavah 6960) for a house to sell, for a school to hire me and for clients to contract with him.  We are VERY aware that we are not in control.  As God has taught me this year, I make a miserable and short-sighted ‘controller’.  You remember reading  God’s words as He speaks through Timothy,

Jesus is the happy/blessed/ blissful sovereign or controller of all of life, King of Kings, Lord of Lords (1 Tim 6:15)

My husband thinks that I have a strong faith, but I don’t FEEL like I do.  As we have been TRYING to practice obedience by ‘patiently waiting and restfully trusting’ in God’s promises, my mind has from time to time fallen prey to fretful glances at the present suffering of fellow Christians.  I have found myself asking questions like:

  • What makes ME think God will give us what we desire?
  • What if NOT getting what we desire is ‘better’ for us?
  • People I know have lost babies, jobs, health…..why should it be different for us?

The irony of this journey in faith is that we have chosen it.  We COULD have stayed put, in our current jobs and home.

But the lure of adventure, of mountains, of new beginnings beckons.  So we must not murmur against the uncertainty and the wait.

Who knows, maybe that desire for adventure has been planted in us BY God Himself, so that we WOULD seek out the road less travelled?!

What I DO know is that your prayers REALLY help.  I felt an actual shift in my mental state in the dark hours of last Saturday night.  We were in Waynesville, NC (western part of the state) for the weekend.  We had looked at 5 houses that afternoon and picked ‘the one’.  During the night, my mind drifted time and time again to ALL the many contingencies and arrangements that would have to line up for us to ‘get’ that house.  I had felt strong desire rising in me all evening as Mike and I talked about it. I went to bed with one pulsating thought –  “I WANT THAT HOUSE!”

But when I woke up around 3 am to go to the bathroom, I noticed that I was at peace.  I had let go.  My initial thought was, “I will be happy in whichever house God arranges for us.  Therefore, I don’t have to CLING to this particular house.  I can trust Him.  He actually sees the future.  I don’t”

That lessening of my tightly closed toddler fists was the result of your prayers.  I recognized the shift toward peace right away.  Because as soon as those comforting thoughts seeped into my mind, I knew they could ONLY be the result of something spiritual.

So we wait.  And trust Him.  And rely on your prayers for our patience and for the details to work out according to what He has planned.  We will let you know as soon as:

-our current house sells

-the purchase of our NC house goes through (whichever house that ends up being!)

-I am offered a job

-Mike gets his first paying client!

June 1st is when we leave the Shire, headed south and west, God-willing.  And as the weeks fly by, we recall a very great fact about God.  Here is the verse that Mike and I have designated as OUR verse for 2013:

Psalm 126:3 – The Lord has done great things for us: we are glad.

House with M & M in front

 

 

 

I’m adopted!

January 16, 2013

Maria Uncategorized , , , Leave a comment

I’m adopted!

….which means that I have been chosen, wanted and planned for.  It is this idea that needs to dominate and be my source of comfort every idle moment.

The ‘New City’ iPad app has a shortened, edited version of the Westminster Catechism (52 Qs & As – one for each week).  Question 1 gets right to the point:  “What is our only hope in life and death?”  Answer:  “That we are not our own, but belong, body and soul, both in life and death to God and our Savior Jesus Christ”

In my last post I talked about spiritual warfare.  The enemy prowls around, intent on sabotaging and weakening our faith.  Natural physical rhythms like sleep also attenuate our faith. So when we awaken in the morning, we must draw new strength for the day by preaching the good news, the TRUTH, to ourselves.

Part of my routine on my morning walk is to remind myself out loud of what I am glad.  And you know, these benefits that accompany my adoption actually are written down in the official adoption papers called the Bible.

  • My life is hidden safe in Christ.
  • Christ is in me.  How so? –the Holy Spirit God moved in as a down-payment/deposit/ engagement ring or promise. Therefore, I have the assurance of future glory and an inheritance.
  • I have everything I need (all grace) to do what God wants me to do as His ambassador, His steward, His soldier.  I am not dependent on my ideas or my strength. I am not limited by the lack of resources.
  • His purpose for my life is the development of His likeness in me – i.e. growing in holiness….becoming suitable for His Son as a member of the Heavenly Bride
  • I’m carrying in my spiritual pocket an invitation to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb.  When I RSVPd, the Angels rejoiced in heaven
  • That RSVP (my name engraved on His hands) I can never lose.  And it entitles me to untold spiritual riches
  • I can trust God and what He promises by looking at two things:

-His compassion shown on the Cross

-His power shown by the resurrection

I don’t feel like thinking of these FACTS all the time, so the times when I DO feel less resistant to spiritual matters (1st thing in the morning), I need to eat, take in spiritual nourishment.  And you might have heard what the French say, “L’appétit vient en mangeant”   One becomes hungry by eating.   Bon appétit!

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