Best Book on Marriage

December 3, 2012

Maria Love, Marriage, Sanctification, Uncategorized , Leave a comment

I avoid most books on parenting.  They make me feel guilty.  They remind me of all the things I don’t do right. And as a parent of adult children, I still don’t read them.

I also never read any marriage books until our union showed signs of unraveling  at year 20.  Then I hungrily sought them out.  Christian girlfriends guided me toward Biblical books which protected me from the “You deserve better” pabulum.  Dipping into new paradigms for Christian marriage was eye-opening and gave me hope that I could perhaps help to heal our relationship. I learned to be gentler, to seek to please Mike and pray for him more effectively.

God’s grace, not any book or counseling brought Mike and me back together to grow stronger as ‘one flesh’ and we have enjoyed 12 sweet years since that painful upheaval.

Recently I started reading Tim Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage.  We are fans of Keller’s clear exposition of biblical teachings both in sermon and other books.  So I knew I would enjoy reading what he & his wife Kathy had to say.   But I didn’t expect anything new or different than the other biblically-based treatments of Christian marriage.

*****Get ready for some über-gushing******

This is THE best book on marriage I have EVER read!!

What is startling is that TK throws on its head both the Western and Eastern views of marriage.

Western – romantic, physical, sexual optimization in a partner

Eastern – communal, economic and social optimization through the marriage

Instead he presents marriage as a signing on to a life-long journey with this other person toward Christ- likeness, via God’s sanctifying work.

From page 121 –

Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love.  It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me!  I want to be part of that.  I want to partner with you & God in the journey you are taking to his throne.  And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this.  I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’”  Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel.  Each spouse then should give him-or herself to be a vehicle for that work and envision the day that you will stand together before God, seeing each other presented in spotless beauty and glory.

*

Now THAT’s an institution worth celebrating and promoting. Buy the book and enjoy the adventure.  It’s perfect for us already-marrieds, the newly-weds and those who are engaged.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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But it wasn’t until I started reading Tim Keller’s book on marriage that I felt excited about how great marriage can be.  My husband and I are long-time Keller fans and have read most of his books.  So when The Meaning of Marriage came out last year I bought it.  I just hadn’t gotten around to reading it until now.   Warming!  Get ready for some über-gushing:  this is THE best book on marriage.

Although I haven’t finished reading it, I am writing now, this first weekend in December, in case you haven’t completed your Christmas shopping and are looking around for a gift to give seasoned couples, newlyweds or the engaged.  This book provides a hope-filled vision of what Christian marriage is meant to be.  I am finding my joy and gladness in being married to Mike topped off and refreshed.  And what I sensed all along about the blessing of Christian marriage is being reinforced.

What makes Keller’s book different is that he turns on its head both

– the ‘old-world’/ Middle Eastern/ African view of 8/

nstead he describes the ideal mate/best friend as the one whose spiritual end-product you glimpse and are excited to be part of.  A kind of “ I see what God is doing in your life to sanctify you and I want to be part of that spiritual adventure.”

Both partners are looking to Jesus and being transformed into His every-increasing likeness.  Partners are NOT looking at each other to fulfill them.

Buy the book, read and discuss it together and be excited about the journey.

 

I surrender

November 25, 2012

Maria Uncategorized , Leave a comment

My new acronym to stop me before I sin again is MMAASS – Maria’s motives are always sinfully suspect.  When I was growing up my father would warn me and correct me by remarking, “Maria, you like to pull wings off of flies!” He meant that I deliberately enjoyed and would engage in saying something to hurt someone.

The other day, I did it again. Emailed someone with the intention of making them feel stupid and making myself look smart and logical in my reasons.  I’m getting sick of my same sin, yet….it lures me and holds out the promise of future payoff.  And I’m a sucker.

This ongoing sin lures me in my on-line (mostly uni-directional)  dealings with a couple of family members.  Frequently I send them and forward on postings/ essays to make them think, “Oh, Maria is so right about X!  I should change how I think.”  At least that is what I fantasize will happen.

Why do I need to do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G to make myself look better in the eyes of someone?  (and why do I  assume I will look ‘better/more superior’? – maybe I am flattering myself!)

Isn’t it enough to know that the triune God……

-planned for me before creation

-with a joyful heart came to earth to live a perfect life and suffer a painful death for my sins

-forgave and rescued me

-has linked His power and name with mine forever

-works on my behalf even now, as personal intercessor and trainer in holiness

-offers constant access to the King and happy Sovereign of the universe

-is keeping a spot prepared for me in heaven

Isn’t all that enough?  Why do I need to work to get other people to look at me with awe?

All smelly sin.

So, with Christ’s help and the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I renounce that sick hobby, this day, 25 November 2012.  Amen!

PS:  Knowing me, I’ll succumb again, but there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.  So I will depend on the future grace and gift of repentance and forgiveness.

The Logic of Love

November 18, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Sanctification, Sin, Thankfulness, Thinking, Uncategorized , , , , , 2 Comments

Logic won out the other day in our household.

My husband sometimes puts me up on a pedestal by thinking that I am ‘the more Godly’ of the two of us. (imagine THAT kind of argument:  “ No, I’m worse than you!  Here let me prove it to you….”)

He sometimes indulges in a kind of self-pitying spiral of feeling bad about himself. One evening last week, I nailed him with an undeniable deductive argument that was both valid and true.  He had to smile in spite of himself.  I was truly Holy-Spirit inspired, because I don’t think I would have come up with the proof myself.

My reasoning was this:

God only gives good and perfect gifts.

God gave me my husband.

Therefore, my husband is a good and perfect gift.

Now I’m not saying my husband is without sin.  I’m using the term ‘perfect’ to mean 100 % suited for me in every way, sent to bless me, to aid me in my sanctification.  I know, ‘sanctification’ is a fancy Christian-ese word. What it means is the process that is meant to “rub off the rough areas of your personality….train you in humility….give you practice in self-less living…..strengthen your submission muscle to make you teachable to God”

You see, learning to love Michael is helping me grow in holiness for, “….. without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14b

So no matter how difficult it gets living with another person, knowing that my heavenly Father picked him out for me, from before the creation of the universe, helps me accept more easily all that happens between us as coming from the hand of God.  This reasoning softens my approach and keeps me praying in the midst of a disagreement,

“Thank you, Father, for this painful encounter.  You mean this for my good.  May I see this as ‘gift’ and respond in the way you want me to.  Guide me. And bless my husband.  Thank you for him.”

I don’t always reason through like that.  In the heat of emotions, I can feel sorry for myself and get a chip on my shoulder with the best of you.  Remembering that God is in control of ALL that comes to us keeps my conclusions from veering off into ‘untruth’.   It’s also humbling and painful to think that God may be allowing my hurtful, sharp and ‘irrational’ remarks to wound my dearest friend for his own good.

Thankfully I can report, that the Holy Spirit is causing both of us to see and regret more quickly the pain we cause one another.  We are learning to repent and ask each other’s forgiveness within the same segment of the day, often within 30 minutes or fewer.

And more broadly speaking, why does God allow such sin?  One reason that I can see, is that the reconciliation Mike and I experience after hardness of heart is the sweetest sensation we have ever felt.  I think we are meant to taste and see in those moments the wonder of reconciliation with the Creator of all things, our Father and Eternal Logos.

So on this start of Thanksgiving week 2012; I give thanks to God for His gift of Michael Francis Cochrane.  “Je t’aime fort, mon petit ours!”

Addicted to calm waters

November 11, 2012

Maria Contentment, Peace, Uncategorized , , , , Leave a comment

As I write this, Calvin seems better. His downward spiral after some routine surgery led to the vet calling me during my 8th grade logic class. Either he had serious neurological problems or he was a member of a tiny percentage of cats allergic to that particular antibiotic.  Dr. Crist gently mentioned, “If this is a neurological issue, euthanasia might be the kindest option.”

As the tears welled up and I reached for tissues, my 24 budding adults didn’t know quite what to do.  Through sniffles and a tight throat, I explained what the vet had said and what God was teaching me through this experience.  Friday was another day colored by difficult circumstances that had been unfolding during the past two weeks.  Even before my mind absorbed the possibility of actually losing Calvin, God had been teaching me.

Negative lessons:

  • Functionally, I am addicted to a problem-free life.
  • I act as if my pets and family members are mine.
  • The more I need circumstances to go my way, the less I have of real peace.
  • I need trials and difficult circumstances to wean me off of false and damaging ideas.

Positive lessons:

  • I am a steward of anything that I previously looked at as ‘mine.’
  • I am here on Earth to do my Master’s bidding.
  • My desires for peace, health, comfort, rest are good and legitimate and given to me by God.  Where I go wrong is in expecting that they will be satisfied my way here on Earth.  But in heaven, I will be bowled over by how they are met.
  • If I have been bought (redeemed) and forgiven by God because of Jesus’ work on my behalf, then I have a new full-time and life-long calling.  I am a soldier AND ambassador in the Lord’s army.  My orientation must change.  It is no longer Maria’s life and Maria’s agenda and Maria’s desires.  I am a servant.
  • I am to put on HIS clothes and armor each day before going out to share the terms of peace with the remaining rebels who haven’t heard the news about the Conquering King.
  • I wear my wedding invitation to the divine, heavenly banquet.  When Maria died and was reborn by the Holy Spirit, her admittance to the Eternal Party was woven and sewn into her new self.  The blood-written letters lovingly spell out what awaits me.  One day I will be ushered into the presence of the Lamb and the Father.  It is THEN that I can relax.
  • In the meantime, like Jesus demonstrated 2000 years ago, my expectation should be to strip my cumbersome robe of Maria’s agenda, wrap a towel around my waist and wash the feet of those in my path.

Reading and personalizing an Andrew Murray quote on acquiescing to God’s sovereignly-sent trials has helped me.  I summarize what he wrote with 4 prepositions –   By, In, Under, For.

These troubled waters (picture roily seas like the kind Peter walked on) have been sent to me

  • BY GOD’S DIVINE APPOINTMENT
  • IN HIS KEEPING
  • UNDER HIS TRAINING
  • FOR MY GOOD, FOR THE LENGTH OF TIME HE SEES FIT

And what are troubled waters? –  Any circumstance that I don’t like, such as

– problems and disappointments

– delays and frustrations

– trouble and disaster

– sickness and death

– even evil

In short – unmet expectations.

Yet, I act and feel surprised when calm waters evaporate. I shouldn’t.  After all, didn’t Jesus affirm that we would have troubles in this life?  Why do I work so hard to avoid what is inevitable in a fallen world?

As bleak as the above might seem, we can take hope.  These trials are NOT a cosmic ‘whoops’.   God IS in charge.  The Fall is not a surprise.  He has ordained it and is using it for His purposes – His Good purposes.  We can trust Him.

So like Peter, to the extent that we keep our eyes and thoughts fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and trust Him to walk with us through the Valley and through rough waters, we will grow in experiencing His true peace.  NOT the peace that depends on circumstances.

PS:  If our desires won’t be satisfied until the next life, shouldn’t we be coaching our kids how to delay gratification?     

Greek Grammar – insight and rest

November 4, 2012

Maria Galatians, Isaiah, Rest, Uncategorized , , , 1 Comment

Grammar is often bypassed these days, whereas in the past, it was presented much more explicitly.  I teach French using a methodology that focuses on helping students naturally acquire a second language through lots of meaningful and comprehensible input. We converse (in French that they can understand) about what is going on in the world and in THEIR lives, just as I do with my friends.  We also create oral stories together and we read, savoring and teasing out information we glean from the content.  Language flows into their brains and out of their mouths almost effortlessly.

I view grammar in my classroom as a condiment, to be used sparingly.  Meaning is what drives the communication.  Grammar is used to clarify and clear up confusion (“the –ent on the end of the word means more than one person is doing the action”)

Yet in my personal life, I LOVE grammar.  My daily Bible study recently got a boost, thanks to some grammar observations.

My Bible is the Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible (NASB translation, published by AMG, edited by Spiros Zodhiates).  I supplement that with The English-Greek Reverse Interlinear NT, ESV version.

Here is one recent observation:

Galatians 2:20 – in the NIV reads:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

But the KJV translates the underlined part as by the faith of the Son of God…

There’s a huge difference between IN and OF.  So I looked at the Greek.  Sure enough – it’s ‘of’ – and the case of the Greek word is annotated ‘GENETIVE’.  That indicates possession.  It’s not MY faith that I have to ramp up and put in the Son of God.  It’s HIS faith given to me by the virtue of my new nature.

{When someone is regenerated, she/he gets a new nature. For example, I am no longer Maria – I am Christ-in-Maria.  Here is a poor analogy, but you can catch the drift: As a human born into sin, I was dying as just Maria…think carbon-monoxide…and then Christ infused His super-natural life into me (added another oxygen atom to make carbon-DI-oxide) and now I am completely different – alive.}

Back to looking at WHOSE faith it is. Since the faith in me is not MINE, but HIS, I don’t have to worry about FEELING strong.  It’s no longer a matter of strong or weak, but possession.

Here’s another place where we are led to think the effort and responsibility for sanctification depend on us, despite consistently translating the preposition ‘of’ to indicate possession.

Consider the famous ‘fruit of the spirit’ passage further on in Galatians 5:22-23a:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control…

Implications?

1)    The fruit does not come from my labor – I don’t have to ‘woman or man up’.  I RECEIVE God’s love and 8 blessed outcomes of that AGAPE when my eye is on Jesus, when I’m not out earning and working for the fruit.

2)    I used to think I had to work at those 9 qualities, with God’s help of course, because I’m a Christian.

3)    Trees and bushes and branches don’t work, they just stay connected.  I know that branches don’t have a mind of their own, but we human kind of branches do! And our thought life can cut off the life-giving, fruit-providing HOLY SAP.  Eyes on us, focused on our work and our plans, we cut off the conduit to the Holy Spirit flow.  And we wonder why we get so tired, lose our peace and energy and gentleness with others!   The Good News is that we can lift our eyes back to Jesus and rest in His provision.

2 verses to underscore this glorious truth:

Hebrews 3:1 – Therefore, Holy brothers who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus…..

Isaiah 30:15 – In repenting/ returning to Me and in rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trust shall be your strength….

So where have you found a new nugget of understanding through studying the words and how they are structured?  Let us DIG ON for God’s gold.

Plagued and assaulted by diabolical thoughts

October 29, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Uncategorized , , , , , , 5 Comments

Bless Charles Spurgeon!  I am so thankful for this 19th century preacher.  Trolling a collection of sermons regarding spiritual warfare landed this life-saving thought: the Devil plants destructive ideas like rat-traps, ready to snap shut and hold us captive.

For years since the age of 16, I have been prisoner to a cruel master and regularly beaten up & battered with the idea that my worth and significance come from weighing 125 pounds. When I started to gain weight, I then fell prey to the self-salvation trap of bulimia.

Long story short, God rescued me from the pit of this eating disorder, but I have still been tethered to the harmful idea of “Weighing X=good day  v. Weighing non-X = bad day”.

God has lovingly allowed/ sent/ willed/ gifted me with this trial and I am beginning to bless Him and thank Him for it.  Yes, many tears, struggles and much depression have resulted from it, but also immeasurable insight into the incomparable worth of Jesus has also ensued.

What I read Sunday in one of Spurgeon’s sermons was that our peace with God can often be disturbed by a tempting thought from Satan.

“That’s it! These are not MY thoughts and THUS TRUE. When I get on the scales in the morning, see a number and then conclude/ think __________(whatever), that is NOT MY THOUGHT, but a temptation meant to sabotage my peace.  It’s a landmine straight from the pit of Hell, ready to destroy my day, my peace, my gladness!”

All of a sudden, power and strength flowed into me.  I suddenly felt FREE.  I had been given a weapon to fight back.

**

One of the verses that I meditate on each morning is Hebrews 13:5:

Be free from the love of X (money, comfort, enough personal time, rest, weighing ___) and be CONTENT with your circumstances for God has said, ‘I will never abandon you, forsake you or leave you without support’ Therefore, we say with confidence, the Lord is our Helper. We will not fear.  What can anyone do to us!!?’

The Greek word for Content (ar-ke-o/714) has the sense of SELF-barriers; that is of raised walls, erected to guard one’s thought-life, to prevent and block assaulting lies lobbed into our conscious and sub-conscious from the enemy.

This view, that an idea or thought might not be true, that it might not be mine, because it comes from Satan is freeing me to hold on to my peace with God.

That thought -coupled with the truth that all that happens to me is sent by my happy and blessed Father for my good – is like healthy leaven beginning to work its bubbly way through my thought life.  Everything I read seems to reinforce this remedy for anxiety/unsettledness.  As I practice resting and acquiescing to life’s circumstances, seeing that they come from God, I am beginning to want to guard this peace with ever increasing jealously.

I read last night that one of the Puritan fathers purposely began his day reviewing this happy gospel fact, designed to make him want to rejoice in Christ:

  • that he had been granted the joy-filled freedom of a little boy content to play in safety
  • because our great Savior Jesus had resolutely stood His ground, enduring the cross, ‘playing the man’ aka displaying immense courage and love
  • absorbing and soaking up all of God’s wrath –  rightly meant for us – but deflected on purpose to His beloved son
  • as just punishment for all OUR sins
  • thereby leaving us, God’s happy chosen children to live and serve in safety
  • basking in the Father’s love

May we begin our days with THOSE heaven-sent thoughts and reject unholy hand grenades meant to destroy us.

No Fear

October 14, 2012

Maria Uncategorized Leave a comment

What would it feel like to live without fear?

Until I caught a whiff of fear-free air, I had never even taken stock of how much fear I inhale subconsciously with every breath.

As you know, I have been blessed by Ann Voskamp’s book 1000 Gifts and continue to be unsettled as I read her frequent blogs.  With a few words powerfully placed side-by-side, her ideas jar me, in a healthy but un-balancing way.

Coming back in the car from our family reunion in Destin, Florida last weekend, I read Mike many bits from various blogs and essays, some of which were from Voskamp’s  writings.

One quote made its way into my Evernote file of quotes:

“If God really works in everything, why don’t we thank Him in everything? – furthermore, why be afraid of anything — when God is using everything?”

I stopped and thought – if God’s purpose is to conform me to my older brother, Jesus.  And if He sends everything my way providentially for that reason, then there really is nothing to fear.  Painful, difficult troubles come with pre-planned, stockpiled grace.  I can’t SEE the grace, or feel it.  I just have to trust Him who promises that He will provide.

For a second or two, I actually felt what it would be like not to fear….and at the same time was stunned with how much fear I unconsciously shoulder – all that  joy-sucking weight.

Wake up – walk around – all day – fearing that those I love – will die.

But of course they will die –  so will I!  What I fear is that they will die BEFORE I am ready and the pain will be too much to bear. 

When I’m actually aware of a specific fear scenario (aka – ‘worry’) I like to recall my favorite hero of the faith, George Műller, the German-born British pastor who ran multiple orphanages by faith.  He, his wife and the head matron would pray every day for sufficient milk, bread and coal for furnaces to feed and warmly house the children.  They never asked for money; they never made mention of their needs to anyone OTHER THAN God, even when directly asked.  And He, of course, honored by their faith, always provided what they needed.

But it is Műller’s prayer when wife # 1 lay dying that arrests me and builds my faith.  He prayed Psalm 84:12-13 back to God – “….no good thing do You withhold from those whose walk is blameless. (You are the)  Lord Almighty, blessed (happy, blissful, confidently resting) is the one who trusts in you.”

He trusted God to do what was GOOD for him and God took his wife home.  He then brought another good woman to George.  Műller was able to rest, without anxiety, in his Father’s providential and loving care.  That is a powerful example of living without fear.

As so often happens, when God starts to teach me about something using one resource (i.e. Voskamp’s thoughts just as my youngest son is about to deploy to Afghanistan), He sends in another faith-building barrage to make sure I GET the lesson.  Kris and I continue to meet weekly to study how to let God be the ‘blessed controller’ of our lives.  This week’s lesson reminds us to NOT BE ANXIOUS.   I looked up the Greek word for ‘being anxious/worrying’ – It’s Strong’s G3309 – merimnaō – and it means among other things, to be split into parts, to give part of yourself away (like we do with our thoughts).  It is just the opposite of PEACE. 

And then the very next day, my French devotional focused on Romans 8:28 –

Toutes choses travaillent ensemble pour le bien de ceux qui aiment Dieu.

Toutes choses – ALL THINGS (no exceptions) –  work together –  for the good – of those who love God.

So here is what I am learning.  When I am trusting God that He is the blessed controller (1 Tim 6:15)  of all that happens to me, and that everything that comes my way is pre-planned and carries with it built-in grace and provision, then I can rest in His peace.  As soon as that peace is disturbed, I need to sit up and take notice of where my thoughts just flew, in which direction.  I can repent, remind myself that He is in charge and go back to what I am trying to practice: a moment-by-moment thankful awareness of His goodness and beauty around me (that is DO à la Paul’s counsel and THINK about whatever is True, Noble, Right, Pure, Lovely, Admirable, Excellent and Praiseworthy).

It takes effort to fight fear.

And by the way, for all of you who prayed for our family reunion.  I am delighted to report that our Father did more than I could ask or imagine.  It was wonderful:  safe travel, good health, laughter-filled fellowship, gourmet meals, soft sand and calm clear seas, playful card games and reminiscent stories.  Thank you for your caring and faithful prayers.

     

 

 

I resign!

September 23, 2012

Maria 1 Timothy, Control, Peace, Sin, Trust, Uncategorized, Zechariah , 1 Comment

Jesus…the blessed (happy, blissful) controller, King of Kings, Lord of Lords (1 Tim 6:15)

You’d think I would have learned by now that I am not in charge!

After all, the book my friend Kris and I are studying  together Calm My Anxious Heart – A Woman’s Guide to Finding Contentment presses us week by week, reminding us just WHO the Blessed Controller of the universe is.  And it’s not me, or the President or luck!

So yesterday I handed my life back over to Him – again.  Whew!  Maybe that is what Jesus meant when He offered rest and an easier yoke. We were not meant to run things or people besides ourselves.  And even managing ME is a joke sometimes.  I have hidden recesses of evil sin lurking under my seemingly nice veneer.  I even fool myself!

It’s like my friend Sue shared with me yesterday.  We had both read Tim Keller’s book, The Prodigal God.  Sue said that coming to the end, she thought, “Well, I certainly don’t have to struggle with legalism like the Elder Brother!” and boom – God’s poke was sudden.  The next morning at the Y for her ritual swim, feet dangling in the water, Sue waited with the other swimmers for the 6:30 am ‘tweet’.  They sat there for about 5 minutes, watching a rule-breaker calmly swim laps, waiting to see what the lifeguard would do. Sue confessed to her secret enjoyment of watching the lifeguard gently chastise the errant swimmer. But as soon as she savored the look of embarrassed horror on the woman’s face as she suddenly noticed all the other swimmers waiting and watching, Sue felt God say with a touch of humor, “ So, you don’t think you have any ‘elder brother’ tendencies!?”

I’ve been trying to pre-manage some events in my life and I was gently reminded by two good Christian friends whom I admire, that I am not in charge.  And that actually it is a sin to worry.  I am definitely not a Happy Controller, but a miserable and misguided controller-wanna-be. Besides, what makes me think that I know best?  There’s ANOTHER sin to confess – presumption.  What a blessing that Jesus’ blood covers all my sins in the future, too!

I was reminded by God’s word to the prophet Zechariah that God really is the only resource we need and the only effective one.  God tells Zechariah to tell Zerubbabel who is rebuilding the Temple in Jerusalem the following: 

“This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. Zech 4:6

And then God goes on to instruct Zerubbabel on how he actually IS to do what seems almost impossible – getting rock from the surrounding mountains into the city for the construction.  He’s to pray out loud to the mountain in faith, in full hearing of his work crew, and then, confidently relying on and resting in God’s abilities, he is to continue to manage the rebuilding:

 “What are you, mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become level ground. Then he will bring out the capstone to shouts of ‘Grace! Grace!’”Zech 4:7

So I am resting this day, fully happy to hand over the reins to my Blessed Controller.

Lord, help me to trust You that no matter what happens, (even if outcomes don’t match my idea of ‘good’), You are using IT for my good. And what is ‘my good’?  –  Your plan to conform me, a daughter adopted into your ‘forever family’, into the likeness of the BEST elder brother there ever could be.

 

A new adventure begins for us!

August 26, 2012

Maria Faith, Uncategorized , 2 Comments

Andrée Seu Peterson crafted an interesting analogy in a recent column for World Magazine, dated 21 Aug 2012 How Linda Diets.  Her cousin Linda, once on a diet, remarked that to lose weight, “you have to like the feeling of your stomach grumbling.”  Andrée followed Linda’s advice and found that, “The change of perspective was effective in turning a normally unpleasant experience into a motivator.”  Andrée continues:

Nowadays I have no trouble with my diet, but everybody has trouble of some kind or other. You may as well expect it: “In the world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33). And I have found my cousin’s counsel transfers well from the dieting domain to the spiritual domain: “You have to like the feeling of your soul being in a trial.”

It’s good to know that by looking at problems and challenges differently, I have a better chance of staying motivated LONG ENOUGH to get ALL the good that God intends for me.

My husband and I have deliberately created some trials that we are now entering.  No, we’re not masochists.  But we do like adventure.  Kind of like George Műller, we have deliberately bitten off a HUGE project that gives us a massively challenging opportunity to practice trusting God. (George started orphanages in 19th century England and daily PRAYED in the money to keep them running.  He kept a diary and published a book to encourage average Christians like you and me to trust God as well.)

My husband Michael is retiring from Federal service next May with a small pension.  (Thank you, Lord!)  We could choose to stay put here in Virginia. It would be way ‘easier’.   We wouldn’t have to sell a house or give up my teaching job. Most likely, Mike could find a contracting job, making more than he earns right now as a federal civil servant.

But where is the adventure in that?  Where are the staggering opportunities to trust God?  In fact, if we didn’t want ANY stress, Mike could stay working for the Federal government.  He doesn’t HAVE to retire.  Next summer he GETS to retire

Why are we moving?  It’s simple.  We’ve always wanted to live in the hills. We have picked Asheville, NC.

And here are the ways we are venturing forth in this prayerful path of faith, a path into the unknown:

  • We have a house to sell, with all that entails, including timing
  • We need money to pay for moving costs
  • I need a teaching job in Asheville
  • Mike needs work that will bring in income (? How do you start a consulting business?  How do you find clients? )
  •  We will have to find a place to live

What we have going for us:

  • We have God as our ‘blessed controller’
  • We have tons of His promises to guide us and provide for us
  • He actually WANTS us humbly to cast our cares on Him, as a child would with his dad
  • We are of the same mind, Mike and I
  • We can encourage the other when fear and doubt attack
  • We have Christian friends who are praying for us
  • We have good health and no other mouths to feed but 3 felines

Deliberately choosing to practice trusting God should give us much evidence of the God who cares and comes through for His children.  We want to give Him the glory each step of the way and gain specific examples we can use to encourage other believers along the path.

What are you trusting God for in your life?  I’d love to hear.

More to come about the adventure as we walk in faith along this new road – and if you’d like résumés….just let us know

PS: I’m encouraged by the poem that follows

A poem quoted by Elisabeth Elliot
Do The Next Thing

“At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
there came in the twilight a message to me.
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
like a low inspiration, ‘Do the next thing.’

Many a questioning, many a fear,
many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
time, opportunity, guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
working or suffering be thy demeanor,
in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
Do the next thing.”

Dormancy or There IS rest for the weary!

July 23, 2012

Maria Uncategorized Leave a comment

At the beginning of my 11 weeks of summer vacation, I kind of freaked.  Feared I was wasting my time, that the days were slipping through my fingers with little to show for them.  I was surprised by the emotional wallop of this reaction, for I’ve been dealing with seasonal change for over 20 years as a teacher.

I eventually settled into a routine and kind of gave myself permission to just BE. But I still FELT time fleeting fast.   The culprit for this ennuie? –  probably Guilt for having the time off while the rest of the grown-up world works through the summer.

The highlight of my summer was a hiking trip with my husband.  We drove down to the mountains of Western North Carolina earlier this month, stopping off in Winston-Salem to catch up with my cousin and her husband.  While there, Darby gave me a book about the Sabbath. I love to mark up books and have taken to pulling out one or two main points and making note of them via Evernote.

If for nothing else, the book was worth reading for this one thought:  the value of dormancy. Wayne Muller writes, “If certain plant species do not lie dormant for winter, they will not bear fruit in the spring….. A lack of dormancy produces confusion and erosion in the life force.”

Wow!  All of a sudden, I realized that the summer months are valuable just for REST.  And that the best activities are NO activities.  I started thinking how I jeopardize my natural creativity for the future school year when I force activity.  That without that restful period of noodling around the house, I’m just a mechanical teacher.

Muller also writes – “ (like crops) We, too, must have periods when we lie fallow and restore our souls.  Rest is an essential enzyme of life, as necessary as air.  Without rest, we cannot sustain the energy needed to have life.”

Of course, his book argues for the weekly Sabbath – taking a day off to slow down and appreciate nature and the rhythms of life.  He talks about being hard-wired for rest.  And how we cannot wait for our work to be done, for our work is NEVER done.

This idea was just what I needed.  I think I might have missed the significance had I not blundered through those first few weeks of vacation.  Of course, nothing is by accident.  The gift of this book from my cousin followed by a week nurturing our souls in an isolated cabin with my husband in the midst of the Carolina Smokies was therapeutic.  We hiked, slept, ate, read, talked and dreamed again.  You can’t dream if you’re pushing through life.

As you know, I experimented with a Sabbath this past spring. What a surprise to me that I could get enough essential school and house work done to carve out a Sabbath Sunday.  I looked forward to it each week.

This school year, I want to continue that blessed practice and also add 30 minutes to my week-day sleep schedule.  Life doesn’t have to be lived at warp-speed.  War-time urgency is not the rule.  No need to rush, if I believe that God is sovereign over EVERY detail, including the delays.

As Ann Voskamp writes in One Thousand Gifts, if Christians have the gift of life eternal, then we have all the time in the world.  She quotes Evelyn Underhill who labels those who rush and hurry as “amateurs”.

We ought to question the supposed American virtue of being busy.  Author Wayne Muller shocks his readers with this thought:  Apparently the Chinese pictograph for ‘busy’ is composed of 2 characters:  HEART and KILLING

Remember Jesus came so that we would have Life and Life Abundant.  Rest is on the par of other moral commands like refraining from murder, theft, lying and greed.

**

Is 30:15 –   For thus the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said, ‘In repentance and REST you shall be saved….”, but you were not willing

Is 28:12 –   He who said to them, “Here is REST, give REST to the weary,” and, “Here is REPOSE,” but they would not listen…….vs 13…so they will go and stumble backward.…

Hmmm, is the cost of continual busy-ness worth it?

 

 

 

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