Mountain be gone!

November 7, 2025

Maria God's faithfulness, Psalm 18 , , , , , 2 Comments

“The book” is finally ready to be released on November, 17, 2025.

. . . By my God I can leap over a wall. Psalm 18:29 ESV

Throughout this process, God has pulled me out of a singular deep pit of despair and strengthened me to leap over walls. One obstacle after another kept me coming back to God for His help. True to His character, He kept me going all the way until the finish line.

I didn’t start out writing a book of devotions. That desire came later. From 2021 to 2024 I wrote short-form reflections of what God was showing me.  Some I posted here on this blog.  When I completed number 365, the Lord gave me the desire to pull them together into a publishable book — a new adventure with the Lord.

Unlike our son Graham, who signed contracts with a publishing company for his first two books, I chose the self-publishing route. Two friends had done exactly this. From them I learned businesses exist which will handle everything, from the editing process, layout, cover creation, uploading on Amazon’s publishing platform to then marketing your book.  As appealing as that was, Mike and I did not want to invest that amount of money if one could do it oneself.

I started researching how to do this and the Lord sent me advice and resources.  I found plenty of YouTube videos to dive into. Graham had learned from one of his clients of a popular software program for laying out a book.  I explored editorial help as well.

First, I revised each of these short daily devotional bites as I had named them.  I expanded them from an initial 175-word framework to bring clarity to my message.  Then my dear husband read each one, pointing out discrepancies and confusing passages. I revised those.

Next, I contacted Karen, a close friend, to see if she would consider editing them professionally.  Not only does she know my writing, she is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ who works as a freelance editor.  Graciously she agreed and set to work aligning each meditation with the Chicago Manual of Style.

Unknowingly, I had enrolled in a writing seminar taught by Professor Karen! I took notes, and gradually internalized punctuation and challenged myself to think carefully about word choice.  Her thought-provoking questions challenged me to more tightly connect the day’s verse with the biblical message. She encouraged me as well to provide better context to the reader.

Working with the Vellum software took me a while to understand. But with the company’s customer service and ChatGPT’s help, I succeeded in uploading and styling the book.

The final and what turned out to be the most despair-producing step was to select a cover designer.  As they say, “You don’t know what you don’t know.”  The gal I chose did not provide the correctly formatted images and tried to scam me as well, sending me into a pit of irrational fears and darkness.

But God pulled me out, provided a competent cover artist and under a week, the print and eBook versions have now been uploaded and are ready for pre-orders with a release date of 17 November 2025.

My takeaway? Those times I put needless pressure on myself instead of handing over the challenge du jour to God were what made it easy for me at the end to despair for about a week.  Maybe I had to go through all this to learn once again, that by my God, I CAN pass through, climb over or skirt around mountains.

When did you lose your sense of wonder?

January 19, 2024

Maria Colossians 4, Holy Wonder, Matthew 18, Matthew 26, Prayer, Psalm 18 , , 2 Comments

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3 NIV

What are little children like?  I picture little ones between the ages of 4 and 7, wide-eyed with anticipation, totally trusting the one they’re with. Sadly, it seems kids age out of that wonder stage. But do they have to?

I remember my last spontaneous, wonder-filled summer morning.  I was actually seven, or about to turn seven in July.  I lived with my mom and grandmother in an apartment in Devon, Pennsylvania. Mom and I shared a bedroom. That morning, she woke me up with a smile, saying ‘Get dressed! This is the day.’ 

We were off to Europe for a good chunk of the summer. That memory is painted in turquoise. For having had a bath the night before, I pulled on a turquoise top I loved and was ready for ADVENTURE in lickety-split.  I don’t remember the details, just those first 5 minutes of that day. Somehow, we travelled up to the port of New York to catch a trans-Atlantic ship bound for Southampton, England.

Most of us, as we move through childhood and adolescence into adulthood, lose our sense of wonder, our excited anticipation about a possible adventure. When we don’t feed that innate child-like ability and receptivity to being astonished, we grow dry, practical, no longer able to respond with spontaneity, having lost our taste, desire or expectation for new adventures and invigorating surprises.

I’ve been reading Oswald’s book, If Ye Will Ask. He poses four child-like questions we can personalize:

-“I wonder how God will answer this prayer?

-I wonder how God will answer the prayer the Spirit is praying in me?

I wonder what glory God will bring to Himself out of the strange perplexities I am in?

I wonder what new turn His providence will take in manifesting Himself in my ways?”

The first time I customized these questions to fit the needs of my day, I immediately relaxed. Psalm 18:9 came to mind – He brought me out into a broad place; (ESV).

This ‘wonder’ perspective shifts the focus off of my immediate needs onto the Lord’s purposes. It makes me curious. It lifts my gaze, my focus off of me and what I want to loop up and out.  That brings to mind two commands: one from Matthew 26:31 ‘Watch and pray!’ and the other from Colossians 4:2 ‘Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.’

Here are two fresh examples of how I’m applying these wonder questions to my needs.

My recent round-trip to Tampa to care for my granddaughters took place during terrible winter storms. Both travel days included delays with the high potential for cancelled flights.

Having read Oswald during my week in Tampa, the day I returned home, I felt totally calm with an excited curiosity of what God was going to do.

I realistically faced the fact that if I couldn’t make my connection, that I might have to spend the night near the airport. But that would be a new adventure, for sure. And I find adventures to be energizing, breaks from routine. The Lord obviously decided it was more important for me to arrive home in only one travel day. Mike was VERY grateful to have me back with him that night.

The bigger blessing was the calmness this approach brought to my day. At the airport and on the two flights, I was able to point several people to God’s goodness and total control over all details in our lives.

That was a short-term practical exercise in wonder.  Here’s a long-term one that is front and center in our lives.  Mike’s mom at 95 is declining rapidly and is scared about all the changes and losses she is undergoing.  She now needs more money to pay for assisted living. Of course, our Father knows here needs, but instead of narrowly focusing on the details of these two situations, I am praying the ‘wonder prayers’.  Just how is God going to be glorified in his provision? What is the Holy Spirit actually praying IN Mom? What is he doing IN her?  I’m curious to witness the creative ways will God use in Mom’s life to show his love. Finally, what will we, her family, experience as we accompany her on her last earthly adventure?

I’m seeing in a new way, the reality of how God’s purposes are bigger than any of my situations. And that relaxes me, for I trust his goodness, his love and his wisdom. May his will be done in my life and the lives of those I pray for.

From rule to rest

July 15, 2021

Maria Psalm 18 , , , , Leave a comment

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. Psalm 18:19 NIV

Friends often describe me as intense or focused. What I feel on the inside is driven and rarely spontaneous. I plan out each day’s activities. I set a Schedule and follow it. What do you think my # one idol is? Having ‘enough’ time to get done what I want to do.

As I turn 64 in this national-liberty-from British-rule month of July, I’ve been yearning to be set free from the mindset of living by a ‘rule of life’.   Thanks be to God who has been meeting me in that yearning and drawing me slowly toward green pastures and quiet waters.

How have I sensed a new direction? During the past few years, as I have grown to trust God’s sovereign control over every detail of my life, I have practiced releasing the day’s agenda to God.  Bumps and detours don’t tend to bother me as much, any more. I can chuckle at the Holy Spirit’s redirection.

But what still drains me is this ‘delightful’ problem:

‘How do I stay connected with so many Christian sisters I have known and loved over the years across our multiple moves? These are gals with whom I have enjoyed deep and rich sharing.  I LIKE them, I MISS them.  And I’ve been searching for a formula, a way to organize my weeks to keep up with these gals.  Just thinking about this has drained me, especially in light of Oswald Chambers’ idea of the Christian life being one marked by ‘spontaneous creativity’.  I have felt anything BUT spontaneously creative.  More like, a prisoner of a system that I have devised.

So, when God created a space for an overnight meet-up with Regina, one of those sweet sisters, I hoped that through sharing with her, the Holy Spirit would bring some healing perspective to my feeling stuck. I wrote down in my journal, “I don’t like my first instinct to want another rule, a practice to trust.  I’m tired of being responsible for maintaining connections. If it’s possible, I would dearly prefer relying on Jesus to direct me each day in whom ‘to love’. 

Regina and I met up in the small town of Carrollton, Georgia – equidistant from both of us. Although we know each other from teaching languages in Yorktown, Virginia, she now lives in North Augusta, South Carolina and I live in Huntsville, Alabama.  Our last ‘spiritual retreat’ happened twenty-one months ago, pre-pandemic. Our pattern in the past has been to spend a night in a hotel, enjoy a leisurely dinner out and get down to serious Bible reflection in the morning before returning home.

Regina is as much a thinker as I am, and has a wicked sense of humor. As an artist, she thinks in pictures.  As a Latin scholar, schooled in the classics, and lover of military history, she brings a different perspective to our spiritual walk with Jesus. I took my notebook with me to dinner, knowing I wanted to jot down where our conversation led us.

‘What I want, Regina, is to rest,” I shared, diving right in.  Continuing, I explained, “But I don’t know how to get out of my way of seeing and doing life. I’m exhausted AND I know that I am the one who is setting the pace.  After all, I left classroom teaching 27 months ago!  However, this habit of getting things done, this drivenness dates back to high school days.”

We ping-ponged back and forth between my issue as well as what Jesus was showing her in the midst of some heart-aches. The Holy Spirit gently worked in my heart during dinner in the cute historic square of this delightful town, and especially as we sat on a bench enjoying some ice cream.

The next morning, He would bring it together for me with a simple but radical way forward.

We spent two full hours down in the lobby with coffee, our Bibles and notebooks. Thoughts and scripture tumbled out, firmly directing me toward freedom. Regina’s reflections, supported by the Word brought me liberated me. As we parted ways until our next meet-up, Jesus willing, I felt released.

The freedom commenced with two words: Rest and Receive. Both concepts felt like living water to this very parched girl. Through Regina, He showed me the following:

  • The Good Shepherd doesn’t push or drive his sheep, he gently leads.
  • He invites us to rest, to receive, to reset which he calls restoration.
  • He has already released his children from Satan’s kingdom of DO, DO, DO.
  • I don’t have to plan my life, for I have a shepherd.

Those two freedom-bringing concepts started a torrent of other ‘re’ words like reject Satan’s way, his modus operandi of DO. (Did I forget again that we are human BE-ings, not human DO-ings?)

So, full of new paradigms on the way home, I thought about my dad, an Infantry officer whose motto is: ‘Drive on all the way’.  That’s a great motto for soldiers who have an objective to conquer, but as far as a rule of life for you or me, it’s a ball and chain.

Suddenly, I recalled the number of times Pop would say proudly to me, “Maria, you and I are DO-ers!”   The unspoken message blared loudly, “….unlike your mother.”

For sure, Mom was a gal who loved life, who found joy in smelling the flowers, in beautiful things, in pursuing lengthy conversations with ANYone she met. No one was a stranger. 

As a teen and then in my adult life, I disparaged her ways, feeling superior, reveling in my dad’s pride that I was a DO-er!  I rue and regret with shame how I judged her. 

My prayer, my desire now on the cusp of starting a new chronological year is simply to let the Shepherd lead me, leaving it to him to sort out who I stay in contact with.  I can rely on him as I give up making and following ‘rules of life’, that left-brain approach to DO-ing life.  Instead, I will let God-implanted desires lead me.

Two thoughts from this morning resonate with me: ‘Love the one you’re with’, that is the person God brings across my path today.  And the idea of ‘rivers of delight’ described in Psalm 36:8.

Doesn’t being led by a gentle shepherd sound good to you?  Green pastures, still waters, soul restoration, all speak of a better way, a more ancient way.

PS:  One final thought: m name is Maria, which is Spanish for Mary.  My mom did NOT name me Martha, the resentful DOING sister in the kitchen.  I am Mary/Maria, the gal who wants to sit at Jesus’ feet to rest and receive.  When he moves out, I plan to follow.

Protection against Prosperity

May 25, 2020

Maria Affliction, Bible Reading, Gratitude, Humility, Joshua 1, Prayer, Problems, Prosperity, Psalm 126, Psalm 18, Rest, Thanksgiving, Thinking, Walking with God, Worries , , , 1 Comment

The Lord has done great things for us, whereof we are glad! Psalm 126:3

God has come through with an extraordinary mercy to us in answer to much fervent prayer – our own cries for help along with sustained prayers offered up by family and faithful friends. I’ll tell you more in a bit.

I’ve been reading in Scripture examples about the dangers that ‘good’ times can present. King David gives us many examples. His most notorious is his complacency (leading to the Bathsheba incident) after God’s divine help in driving away Israel’s enemies. Were it not for Biblical narratives of his downfall and his own writings in the psalms we would not be warned. Yet despite his astonished and grateful joy in God’s forgiveness, over time, David’s gladness waned. He grew distracted by comfort, helped along by an increasing lack of attentiveness to his Master, the LORD.

Merriam-Webster explains complacency this way: “self-satisfaction, especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.” Com means ‘with’ and if you recall the verb ‘to placate’ (to please) the idea of being pleased with oneself is obvious.  But self-pleasure can be dangerous, especially if we grow über-SELF-confident.

But what does prosperity in the title of this post have to do with complacency?  We can see that it was God who had made King David prosperous. And in the beginning, David’s gratitude over his ‘prosperity’ or successes was real. But he didn’t nurture that spirit of thankfulness. As life grew easier after years of hardship, his attentiveness to God slackened. He let himself get preoccupied with the gifts.  Not only was David wealthy he enjoyed multiple blessings of regional peace, family, friends. For sure during those painful, difficult years he had followed Moses’ advice to Joshua about how to be ‘prosperous’:

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Josh 1:8

But once God was gracious to him, David FORGOT the part about ‘meditate on God’s law day and night.’ A change came over the prosperous David. Enjoying God’s bounty, he let down his guard. 

I don’t want that to happen to us! 

As Mike and I have come to know our Bibles, we understand how to please our Father.  Ultimately it’s because He has changed our hearts that we WANT to obey Him. We also have grown to realize that afflictions are gifts from God that keep us clinging to Him.  They keep us needy and very close. Desperation keeps us ‘meditating on God’s Word night and day’.

Since June 2013, when we left Virginia and moved to the Asheville, NC area, we have been especially needy.   How so? through hardships right and left, one after the other. Like what, Maria?

  • a blatant closed-door, dead-end to Mike’s plan to work from home in NC as an operations research analyst
  • no open doors to other significant work for him during our time in NC
  • perplexing difficulties for me in a new school teaching French – each year in that school was laden with painful experiences. Nor could I couldn’t find another teaching position
  • Mike’s frightening heart crisis that lasted some weeks
  • his slide into depression during our 6 years in North Carolina, alienating some people
  • a surprising decision to leave mountains we loved for Mike to go back into full-time engineering work
  • then after God’s good gift of a job and sale of our house in NC, a recurrence of a physical stress symptom that had dogged Mike for 25+ years but had been absent during the previous 7-8 years. ‘Complacently’ we had assumed it would never come back.

The return of this latter affliction seemed to be the most painful of all the above. It colored Mike’s world and spilled over to me.  He could hardly avoid noticing it, because it affected his body, every day and all the time. I prayed fervently.  We both did. As did friends and family.

What else did we do?  We journaled, we tried functional medicine, Mike met with a Christian counselor.  Friends and family continued to pray and stay connected. Most of all we went deep into God’s Word. As we did, He began to change our thinking to align more with His Word. Whether you believe that He ‘allows’ or ‘sends’ suffering, in God’s hands He wills all things for our good.  We began to ask God to change our desires – that we would desire HIM more than an affliction-free life.

Then, about 4 months ago God seemed to be directing us to have Mike go back on a medication that had ‘stopped working’, one he had gone off of.  He visited his doctor, asking for a higher dose. We prayed on, willing to live with this suffering if it were God’s best for our holiness and ultimate joy.

It took a full 10 weeks for any relief to be evident.  His body started slowly to respond, in fits and starts.  Mike kept meeting with his Christian counselor.  We continued to pray, to journal, to study God’s Word. 

It is now almost the end of May 2020 and we rejoice. Mike DOES have relief. The symptoms have subsided. His body feels normal. He is visibly relaxed and cheery.  I can tell he is enjoying life in a new way. 

I check in with him each evening as we write down our God-directed thank-you’s in our prayer journal.  Then we pray for one another mentioning the next day’s needs. We don’t hesitate to ask Him for another day of relief for Mike.  Just as we ask Him to grant me a good night sleep. We take NEITHER gift for granted. We also know that God has the right to withhold both. They are not our due.

Hence my meditating on the ‘danger’ that comes with answered prayer, when the pressure lets up.  Not that God is dangerous, but that a cavalier attitude on my part can easily endanger my heart. I want to lay in place good habits of thinking. Yes, our Father IS good and He delights to give us rest and periods of joy-filled relaxation.  Mike and I are grateful for these broad or open spaces where ‘enemies have been driven back, bodies have healed, children have been born, and the harvest is plentiful.’ 

Psalm 18:9 He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.

So how DO I guard against complacency?  I have landed on two ways: 

  • Gratitude and
  • Humility

Gratitude looks like this for me:

  • recognizing and chattering my thanks to my Father throughout the day for all the gifts I can see 
  • mentioning His kind provision of what I might not even think to ask for, like safety or how loving my friends are

Humility looks like this for me:

  • Recognizing that I am a contingent being, that I cannot do ANY thing on my own.
  • Acknowledging daily that God, the Creator and Sustainer, gives me life moment by moment. Unless He wills that I KEEP LIVING, I am but dust molecules
  • Talking out loud to Him about what I need Him to provide NEXT in order to do the task at hand

This, then, is how I am trying to ‘walk humbly with my Lord’.

Friends and family, we want YOU to know how glad we are for the great things He has done.  Thank you for your prayers and years of encouragement throughout these past years. This new broad and fertile time is refreshing us.  We are savoring it.  It feels sweet.  We don’t deserve it, and we are grateful.  May we continue to keep our eyes on Him!

 

Why does everything feel like a burden?

May 3, 2020

Maria Obedience, Psalm 18, Psalm 55, Reflections , , 1 Comment

This is embarrassing to admit, but some days, the idea of fixing dinner FEELS like a burden.  I’ve told Mike that I think I’m addicted to ‘pleasant’ or pleasure. I can’t come up with any other explanation.

So what does ‘pleasant’ mean to me?

Not having anything to do that I don’t want to do.  The funny thing about dinner prep is, is that I CHOOSE to cook. It’s not like someone else MAKES me.

I also choose to exercise each day.  Three of the days each week I push myself hard, working on cardio endurance and muscle strength. Those are the mornings I dread. Yet I know that discomfort is a small price to pay for fitness and health.

Then there are the once in a while tasks that feel like burdens. The other night the reality of a new month hit me – a month with Mother’s Day and 4 birthdays in our family.  My desire to give thoughtful gifts that please clashed with a lack of confidence in being able to find them. 

After a couple of days of churn over the gifts ‘burden’ plus some other unresolved matters I had to get myself in hand, via God’s Word.

Feeling sorry for myself and with a bit of drama I wrote in my journal: Things I need to do ALWAYS feel like a burden. But I’m supposed to cast ALL my burdens on God (Psalm 55:22).

ALL of a sudden, one of God’s truths came to mind. It’s those two verses from Psalm 18:

28 For it is you who light my lamp;
    the Lord my God lightens my darkness.
29 For by you I can run against a troop,
    and by my God I can leap over a wall.

Here’s how verse 28 helped me: If God lightens my darkness, that means He will show me what I’m to do about each purchase for my family. 

Reading further in Psalm 18 I mused: Well, what are walls, but obstacles?  With the gift example my lack of creativity is no hindrance to God who is CREATOR of all that exists.

And what is a troop but an enemy army whose diabolical objective is to RAID my peace of mind!

As a redeemed little sister of Jesus, family PEACE is my due. The Father doesn’t intend for me to worry.  He wants me to hand over EVERY burdensome, anxiety-producing decision or problem to Him, however minuscule they seem. He even calls my relying on Him ‘obedience.’

Seeing these truths, together with writing down my thoughts in my journal dispelled the self-pity and lightened the tasks.  Even my workout didn’t feel so painful afterwards!

Here’s my prayer for today: “Okay, Father, I’m handing over ‘all I gotta do’ about gifts during May. Today, I will just do what is at hand, what I CAN do.  Thank you for reminding me of my privilege to off-load all that feels burdensome.  Thank you for your promise of energy for today.”

And about the ‘burden’ of preparing dinner for Mike and me? Another truth from God’s word came to mind as I was getting dressed.  God has sovereignly ordained for all of us the GOOD gift of work, (a pre-fall blessing). Yes, there is time to relax and restore. But work is the natural guiding principle of human activity.  We are meant to TEND our gardens, whether in the home or in the office.

Father, help me to remain content with the work you have given me this day. May I do each task depending on you, for the welfare of those around me, for my joy and to please you. Amen

PS:  My mother used to say that the THINKING about something was always worse than the actual DOING.

 

 

 

 

Feeling overwhelmed today?

April 22, 2019

Maria Ephesians 1, God's Promises, God's Word, Hope, Psalm 18 , , , , , 9 Comments

Are you like me, sometimes? Do you ever feel unprepared for what you have to do?  Do you feel the task at hand is too big for you?  Do you feel insecure at different times?  It could be that like me, you’ve forgotten some very good news.

First a fact:

Where you are today is where God has put you.  Nothing happens without His directing.  That is, if we take the plain meaning of God’s word in scripture.

Ephesians 1:8-11 (GNT)

In all his wisdom and insight God did what he had purposed, and made known to us the secret plan he had already decided to complete by means of Christ. This plan, which God will complete when the time is right, is to bring all creation together, everything in heaven and on earth, with Christ as head. 
All things are done according to God’s plan and decision; and God chose us to be his own people in union with Christ because of his own purpose, based on what he had decided from the very beginning. 
Now a story:
Mike, my husband, is into his 4th week at a new job.  Like any change in work situation, there is a lot to learn.  The culture of the work community; the expectations of a new boss; the protocol for this or that; wisdom about how much to share of your heart with new colleagues – a lot.  It ALWAYS feels overwhelming, no matter how long you’ve worked.
Last week (Friday, 19 April) in our assigned reading (Chronological reading plan) Psalm 18 was included.
While reading some of the verses I saw explicit mention of how God equips His people.  I saw hope for Mike and for anyone who is in a spot where the demands and expectations feel overwhelming.  It could be a new and different job like is the case for Mike, or a call to volunteer in a new ministry or just to persevere in a difficult situation.  Maybe your ‘hard’ is the day-in, day-out parenting/elder care or loving and tending someone with a disability or chronic illness.  Then there are those who persevere in marriages with an unresponsive spouse or ‘trying’ spouse.  And how about just plain ole stuck in a situation for which there seems no good outcome?
Hear, then, what our good Father says to you, to me, to my husband Mike:
Psalm 18: 31-35
For who is God, but theLord?
    And who is a rock, except our God?—
the God who equipped me with strength
    and made my way blameless.
He made my feet like the feet of a deer
    and set me secure on the heights.
 He trains my hands for war,
    so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
 You have given me the shield of your salvation,
    and your right hand supported me,
    and your gentleness made me great.
With those power facts, we can pray for ourselves and for others.
For Mike I prayed this morning:
  • Thank you, Father, that you have equipped Mike with a good mind and the ability to think and make connections and then articulate them to others so they can understand
  • I rejoice that you made Mike to see and create analogies on the spot
  • How amazing that you have placed Mike in this new job here in Huntsville and set US in a church where we can grow in our knowledge and love of you!
  • Father, you continue to train Mike in new applications of systems engineering so he can add value to his firm.
  • You are the God who has given Mike your divine Spirit; the One who is counselor and provider and intercessor and comforter.
  • It’s YOUR right hand that keeps my husband safe, keeps him relying on you, keeps him  repenting and thanking you and you will bring him to you  in the end
  • What more could we be glad about than your gentleness in coming to earth to rescue us and make us adopted kids in your forever family.  That is what we boast about, that we know you, our Rock.

Do you see how God’s word can fill one with HOPE!  O, dear friends, feed on God’s good word and pray it for yourself and for those you love.