Letter to a son – what we failed to teach you

September 28, 2010

Maria Faith, Gospel, Peace, Sanctification, Thinking , , , , , , Leave a comment

Dear Son –

Dad and I were so blessed by your phone call last night. Your transparent accounting of what you struggle with at age 22, both as a newly married man and a recently commissioned Infantry lieutenant, convey trust and love for us and a longing to grow.  These two changes in your life are major, in and of themselves.  Together they provide a lot of stress; even if they are circumstances you have chosen and for which you have mentally prepared.    You’ve faced difficult challenges before, since you’ve been a Christian for 6 or so years and have experienced pruning and growth. But new developments have peeled away a comfort layer and revealed more sin for your Father to address.  Your attitude and reaction to some of these feelings raised have caught you by surprise.

The way you described what God has been teaching you was well articulated.  It’s not a first-time lesson nor is it unique to you.  The choice before all Christians is to walk/abide in our human flesh or to walk/abide in Christ.  The first choice is more comfortable because we have developed personal coping mechanisms to deal with daily unpleasantness.  The second option works far better, but either doesn’t always occur to us and/or doesn’t appeal.  Our pride/stubbornness leads us to default to the shortcut, even if we can accurately predict the outcome. We are used to failure, self-condemnation, our own excuses and concomitant spewing over onto those we love.

Here are some observations from your parents who are 31 years older than you.  However, we have really only been growing as Christians for the past 10 years.  So you, your brother, Dad and I are really about the same age as God’s Kids.

Dad and I DID NOT teach you the following: (we have been learning these realities ourselves in recent years, since you left for college)

  • The reason we were born is to glorify God.
  • The nature of life on earth is brokenness and  warfare
  • Because of Christ in us, we can have purpose and joy beyond measure, but they have NOTHING to do with comfort or circumstances.  They have to do with the Cross.

First – the purpose of life is to glorify God.  Relentlessly, the world tells us that life is all about us.  Hear the constant litany – “our comfort, our desires, our bodies, our accomplishments, our purposes, our stuff, and our rights.”   We have to intentionally choose to live moment by moment, breath by breath for what magnifies and makes most of God, not what exalts us.  John Piper exhorts us not to waste our lives on ourselves, no matter how much we beguile ourselves with our own self-worth.  Self, self, self!

Second – because of the Fall, life is hard.  Because of Satan, we are in a war.   John Piper calls us to adopt a warfare mentality.  That’s not bad.  You were mentioning that a good soldier always has a plan and is prepared to fight.  Our enemy is not just terrorists from another land, fellow humans.  All they can do is kill us.  Our real enemy is far worse. He can deceive us into believing that God doesn’t exist, or in inventing our own version of God, made in our image.

So even though we Christians know how the story ends, we have to be alert and on guard.  The American dream in both the active working years and in retirement is a major ploy of Satan’s.  He has lulled us into thinking that this life is all there is and we had better enjoy it.  Meanwhile, he is behind our lines as a 5th column, beguiling the ‘innocent’.   Be mad!  Get righteously angry, but not at fellow humans, but at the Father of Lies.

My 3rd point is worth more discussion than I have time right now.  But I don’t think you need convincing of the possibility of lasting joy and purpose in Christ.  We are comforted and assured by God’s Word that, even now on Earth, we have eternal life.  Furthermore, God be praised, we are blessed with brief glimpses of joy even while wearing these perishable bodies.

Yet, as your chronologically older sister and brother in Christ, KNOW that this painful lesson of choosing to abide in Christ, rather than working out of your flesh/ your dominant side is a lesson you will have to RELEARN, time and time again.  I’m sorry to tell you that.  Were it otherwise!  But that’s reality here on Earth.  I still struggle with complaining and a poor attitude. I have to be pulled up short, daily.  I’m even doing what I love, teaching French.  Still I grumble, because of lack of perceived comfort, time, and choice circumstances, all the ME- desires.  Your father is blessed to sing with a quality chorus as a hobby.  He still struggles with the insidious temptation to work alone out of his own strength, thus experiencing frustration or to be yoked with Christ and enjoy rest.  How simple the choice seems with distance.  How blind we are.

So be prepared to fall again and again. We thank God for your wife, a godly woman who loves you and will hold you accountable.  And you will do the same for her, when she fails to remember the way life is.   Repentance is a blessing and the Father’s arms are never shut.  Fly to him frequently.

Love,

Mom & Dad

Peace, according to God’s definition

August 12, 2010

Maria Colossians, John, Peace 7 Comments

Col 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for as members of one body, you have been called to peace, and be thankful.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.

I thought I knew what peace was – (1)  Absence of conflict and/or (2) having a restored relation, being ‘right’ with someone.

I was noodling in the back of my NASB Bible in the Greek section.  It’s a cool edition – certain Hebrew and Greek words are underlined and then are keyed at the back via Strong’s method of classification. They come with extensive definitions.  I was shocked to see a substantial section given to describe a third meaning of the Greek word for peace, eirene/1515. (Name your next daughter Irene!) This major heading describes a condition of health, welfare, prosperity, bliss and every good and kindness imaginable.  Different passages are then cited and these blew my socks off!  I had thought I had God’s peace pegged.  Imagine the implications from THESE translations!

  • Luke 1:79 – Zechariah talking about his son John who will be a herald of the light that will come into the world to “..guide our feet into the way of HAPPINESS (peace, # 1515)
  • Luke 2:14 – Multitudes of angels startle the shepherds and tell them about Jesus’ birth and proclaim “….BLISS/HAPPINESS (peace, # 1515) among those with whom God is pleased.”
  • Romans 8:6 – “..but the mind set on the Spirit is life and BLISS, GOODNESS, PROSPERITY (peace, # 1515)

A whole other topic is that word life –(zoe, # 2222) It  has an expanded definition to mean – ‘a life that satisfies’  / not just plain old LIFE!

  • Ephesians 6:15 – about getting yourself dressed with God’s armor for the day, “….having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of HAPPINESS, GOODNESS, PROSPERITY, BLISS (peace, # 1515)
  • 2 Thess 3:16 – a lovely benediction – “May the Lord of BLISS, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT, (peace, # 1515) grant you BLISS, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT, GOOD THINGS IN LIFE (peace, # 1515) in every circumstance

And notes for this definition of peace go on to call the Lord of Peace, “the author and giver of blessedness”.  This reminds me of the beatitudes.  I always translate in my mind ‘blessed’ as ‘happy’ as in – Happy are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. (Matt 5: 5)

Finally, let’s consider the implications for an expanded definition of Eirene/peace by looking at what Jesus and Paul exhort us to:  if peace truly is far more than what the world describes, then it is fitting that Jesus tells us to expect HIS version of peace to be completely different.  It’s not just a removal of conflict and war or a relationship brought to health – it’s FAR more.  Jesus offers us a vision of a world beyond what we normally expect or dream about – it’s a whole system meant to satisfy and thrill us.  It is no wonder that Paul strongly recommends that we let THAT life be the standard in our lives (rule/arbitrate in decisions to be made).  He ties it up nicely with the reminder to be thankful – that is to remember and appreciate what we have been given.

These truths fly away from our hearts and minds each night while we sleep. Therefore, each morning and throughout the day we have to intentionally remind ourselves, that is preach to ourselves what awaits us.  Let us encourage one another to set our minds on this rich hope of peace, and not settle for peace and goods and standards offered by the world.  They are a cheap imitation.

A new test from God

July 6, 2010

Maria Ephesians, Exodus, Peace, Proverbs , , 6 Comments

Biblical Principle:

Prov 16: 9 – The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

What I say to God:

Psalm 31:3
Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

What God says to me:

Exodus 4:12

Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say!

**

I had been looking forward to Blaine Ray’s workshop next week.  He is the founder of the foreign language methodology I use (TPRS® – teaching proficiency through reading & storytelling).  When I had read in the literature that he was coming to Newport News, I had contacted him in the winter and asked him to dinner one of the nights.  I wanted my husband to meet him and for us to get to spend some time with this delightfully witty trainer of foreign language teachers.  So earlier this week I emailed Blaine to make sure the workshop was still a go for 9-10 July 2010.  He wrote back and said he had been experiencing some dizziness and hoped that it would clear up before his Virginia workshops.  I wrote that down as a prayer request.

So Friday, 2 July, I prayed for Blaine and told God that his health was not something I had control over and would He please bless Blaine so he could come to town for the workshop and our dinner.

I almost dropped the phone when later that morning he called me on my cell and told me that he would NOT be able to present at either the Washington, DC workshop (2 days) or the one here in Southeastern Virginia (2 days).  And would I present for him? Long story short – after an incredulous reaction – ME??????, I said I would pray about it and talk to my husband.  Mike was busy at first, but I was able to talk with Marilyn, my principle, through tears and tissues – (I don’t even feel I practice the techniques well!). With both her and my husband’s enthusiastic support, I actually began to feel excited about the possibility.  I called Blaine back and said I would be willing and with God’s help, would do my best, but asked, “Are you REALLY sure you want ME?” Turns out, no one else is available and the alternative would be to cancel the workshops.   So God is choosing to use a jar of clay in order to get the gloryJ

I knew right away that I would REALLY benefit from this challenge.  It had never even crossed my mind to be interested in being a trainer.  I’ve been practicing TPRS and going to conferences and workshops for 8 years, but feel far from competent. I have an occasional good day when it all comes together – student engagement and enthusiasm, an ability to be creative and think on my feet and the sense that the kids really acquired some language through a good story we developed together about something that interested them.  When they bounce out of my French class chatting about the story, I feel fantastic.  But not every day is a homerun.  Some days I fall flat on my face and there is no energy among the teens.

So, why am I telling you this?

Because I know this is a TEST from God.  Not one of those ‘gottcha – you weren’t prepared’ tests.  This testing is about whether I will CHOOSE to trust God for all the unknown details and not play the WHAT IF game, fretting and fearing.  To be honest – I’ve already spent 2 restless nights and had the beginnings of a migraine last night and I don’t even get migraines.  Here is what I have to keep handing back over to God:

  • Attendees’ reactions when it registers with them that Blaine is not presenting.
  • Will my computer, the sound system and the projector work?
  • Will I be able to fill and follow the schedule adequately from 8 to 2:30 on both days of each workshop?
  • Will catered lunch show up on time?
  • Will these language teachers be nice to me?
  • Will I be able to think on my feet and develop a story in French as we go and sustain it while demonstrating all the proper techniques?
  • When I do the workshop a 2nd time here in my hometown, what will the 2 teachers I know (one from my school) say when they see ME, their peer?
  • And what about anything else that I haven’t even thought about?
  • What has Blaine failed to tell me because he does these workshops in his sleep? (after all, he came up with this method)

Mike gently keeps pointing me back to God.  I appreciate that.  So, with God’s help, I will trust the good shepherd and not be afraid.   I will step into this new territory and buck up like Joshua when God told him basically – “Dude, haven’t I already told you to FEAR NOT!  I’m going with you; I’ll work out solutions for you as problems arise.  You are not alone.”

Pray for me – not that it goes well, though I hope it does.  But that I win the battle in the mind and keep casting these worry thoughts back on Him.  I’m looking forward to reporting back to you next week how God did more than I could ask or imagine.

What does it mean to ‘abide in Christ’?

February 24, 2010

Maria John, Peace , Leave a comment

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:31-32

Definition of Abide or “Meno” in the Greek – to stay, remain, watch, continue, hang out.

Don’t you want to be free?  From worry, circumstances holding you down, anxiety hovering overhead, heaviness?  Here is Jesus’ solution.  All we have to do is remain in the Logos, the Word, a synonym for Jesus himself.  What does that mean, to remain or stay in Him?  Do we,  as a matter of course, hang out somewhere?  Where would that be?   What are our choices?

Try worry, circumstances, and problems.  In essence, since God made man a RATIONAL being, unlike the animals, that means we are THINKING animals.  We live in our thoughts.  Do we ever turn off our minds?  No…we are always thinking about something.  Do we have control over our thoughts?  As a teacher, I would say we do.  I tap a pencil on the table of a day-dreaming student.  He startles and returns to the classroom discussion.  I catch myself wandering in my thoughts when I’m listening to a pod-cast sermon.  Quickly, I bring my thoughts back to what I’m listening to. I would argue that we have absolute power to choose and think thoughts.  That’s not a difficult premise to accept.  What is perhaps more serious is the fact that our thoughts matter.  They color EVERYTHING about us.  Our thoughts determine our moods, our feelings, our spoken words and our actions.  To a large degree, we create our future reactions to circumstances by our thoughts.

When Jesus counsels His listeners to abide in Him, so that they will be free, He is talking to men who are physically  free.  He’s not lecturing in a prison.  So He must be speaking symbolically about freedom.  And we certainly can grasp that.  Don’t we often  feel trapped by our habits of negativity or of particular earthly indulgences?

Jesus is promising a true liberation – the kind where you feel like a kid again, on a beautiful summer day, with no worries at all.  What we have to do is discipline our mind, gently, to think about Him:  His character, His promises, His past actions, His story, our inheritance in Him, our treasures stored up in Heaven, our blessings.  To summarize, we are to think about those things that Paul describes as true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.  What we think about, then,  is where we MENO or dwell.  We can either MENO or abide in circumstances or in Christ.   Not only will we be free, but we will be noticeable as His disciples.

What would make us stand out as His followers?  I think it’s that we would exhibit an unusual peace.  People around us are frustrated and preoccupied, rushing around, unaware that they have control over their thoughts.  If we exhibited a calm, restful demeanor, that would give someone pause and perhaps cause them to ask us about our source of peace.

The power of an idea – two thoughts that have changed my life recently

February 18, 2010

Maria Peace, Prayer , 1 Comment

A friend and I were discussing prayer, both having read Paul Miller’s book, A Praying Life.  She mentioned that she had started a prayer journal where each day she writes down the things over which she has no control.  That ‘title’ for one’s worries all of a sudden opened up a way to articulate so many MORE concerns in my life.  I hadn’t realized what resided in the bottom of the muck pool of my mind.  New topics to pray about and actually hand over to God started to leave this familiar, fetid place and venture into new territory.  I grew excited about the possibilities!

As soon as I got home, I found a diary with a few blank pages left and wrote the date and the title:  Today I Have No Control Over…..  As soon as I had written down 5-6 things, I said to God, “Here, YOU take and handle them today.”   It was easy and left me feeling lighter.

The next morning, I could hardly wait to get up and write down the new day’s concerns over which it was apparent I have no control.  Of course, one could get carried away with all sorts of situations..but I confined myself to concerns in my life that day: younger son’s projects at college, older son’s fears about supporting his family, husband’s discomfort stemming from a controlling & dysfunctional boss, in-laws’ declining health and their fears about making it to the wedding in June, a scheduling problem to be sorted out with a Travelocity rep located on the other side of the world, French classes’ scheduled for the day and their energy level and response to my input.

Several days create a habit.  What has surprised me is the spread of my new consciousness over items I really don’t control.  Apparently the very act of writing them down has trained my mind to respond ‘properly’ during other parts of my day.  I heard some bad news this afternoon and immediately thought – “I have no control over that, Lord, that’s YOUR department”.  No time in my in-box of worry.  So I have freedom to keep a mental diary handy, with its column already set up, ready to receive MORE items.  This is fun!

I did run into my friend and shared with her how much her brief 20 second explanation had changed me.  I wanted her to be encouraged about the positive influence we can have on those around us and maybe not even know it!

The other mind-altering thought came from a blog post by Ray Ortlund.  He mentioned in ONE sentence that ‘our okay-ness’ is located outside of us. I took that to mean that if there is anything worthy or beautiful about me, it’s because of Christ’s righteousness imputed to me.  There is nothing noteworthy about me beyond the fact that I am made in the image of God.  As Paul says several places and actually quotes (is that a retweet?) the Old Testament prophet – “, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord'” (from Jer 9:23; I Cor. 1:31)

The application for me was that I have no reason to defend myself – EVER.  The truth is, at it dawned on me; no one can hurt me with criticisms or put- downs.  If I already know that ‘no good thing resides in me’ – Rom 7:18 – then I am FREE.  I can give a logical response to a personal attack. “Yes, you’re correct that I………And your point is?”

All in one week, I have been given two gifts.  First, I can stop doing God’s work for Him – by worrying about things only He has sovereign control over and second, I can stop defending myself, since there is really nothing to defend.  What amazing power resides in ideas!

Grey clouds of anxiety

January 11, 2010

Maria Peace , 3 Comments

1 Pet 5: 5b – 7 God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  (By ) cast (ing)  all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

A Christian friend asks me how I’m doing.  I pause and search my thoughts to figure out a way to communicate that lack of contentment and peace that plague me.  What is it, exactly, that is wrong?   After all, I have many blessings and lack many troubles that trouble those I know.  At the time, I can’t really put my finger on anything in particular.  It’s just that I don’t FEEL like all is well.

Here’s my self-diagnosis.  When I think of those primary family members whom I love most:  son # 1, his wife and their baby, son # 2 and his fiancée, my husband – there is this grey cloud of anxiety that hovers OVER each of their heads and their lives.  They haven’t told me that such a cloud exists – I put the clouds there in my little world.  The cloud represents all the uncertainty that I feel about how their lives are going to turn out.

My pride and desire for control to script their lives IN ORDER to feed my happiness and peace is what has brought clouds into my life and obscured my joy.  As I read last night in an article by Paul David Tripp, when my treasure is based on something of this world, I start to get anxious, because nothing in this world is under my control.

So, here is the solution- pray about each of these situations/people whom I love – once a day.  If something specific comes up during the day, then humbly, acknowledging my dependence, pass on that request to my Father.  But no more fretting and arranging in my mind possible future scenarios for each.  This is pride-busting, because it’s admitting that Maria does NOT have control, that there is nothing I can do, or should do, but entrust each care to my Heavenly Father.  Even if I COULD script their lives and nothing untoward would happen to them, what perspective do I have that would mean my choices for them would be optimal?  Only God know what is best.  So why worry?

With all that time now freed up to think of other things, I can reflect on what will make me truly feel better – thankful thoughts about God, His goodness, His qualities, His promises, His amazing encounters with his sinful, sheep-like (or worm-like) children whom he loves.  I am convinced that what I feed on affects my mood.  The less I look at imaginary grey clouds and the more I look at the bright light of God’s glory, the more joyful will I feel.

Thought Control – or Double your Joy

January 7, 2010

Maria Peace, Reflections , , 2 Comments

Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice..  (Phil 4:4)

Bless the Lord, O my soul, Bless His holy name.  Bless the Lord O my soul and forget not all his benefits. (Ps 103:1-2)

If you live in me and my words remain in you….. (John 15:7)

Go to bed bummed, wake up bummed.  My fight is with my thoughts.  They are the material units that make up my moods.  If I am feeling out of sorts or down, I can usually trace it back to specific thoughts.

Notice how God has us figured out.  His antidote to our moods is to double and triple our thoughts about what is good – God.   He exhorts us “Lift your countenance and thoughts up towards Me – think about what is true and good and noble and pure and excellent.”    It really is a choice.

The other morning, I woke up feeling out of sorts.  I had been reading Psalm 103 the night before.  I recognized right away as soon as I padded into the bathroom that I DID have a choice.  So I prayed, “Lord, help me to bless you right now instead of muse about why I might be feeling bad.” It wasn’t that difficult to make the switch.

Later on my morning walk, I started cataloguing WHAT exactly was on my mind.  Some of my ‘worry thoughts’  had to do with me wanting  people in my life to live their lives the way I, MARIA, thought best.  I was struck with the presumptuousness of that mindset.  What a waste of emotional energy.  Isn’t it enough that I live MY life the way I sense God is directing me?   And there is plenty of work to do to order rightly my thoughts.

I read recently that for every thought about ourselves, we should look up and direct 10 heavenward.  I don’t know if I can do that, but my life would really be different if I just managed to dwell on God AS much as I dwell upon MARIA.  After all, God doesn’t promise that I’ll bear fruit if my thoughts abide in me, but only if I dwell in Him and His words and thoughts live in me.  Fruit # 3 is peace – the opposite of waking up ‘bummed’.

Coincidentally, in my teacher training, I have heard that it takes 10 positive strokes/kind interchanges/praises directed toward a student to equalize or cancel one humiliating/negative comment leveled at him.  If that is true of interaction between folks, then perhaps it also applies in our inner conversations.  Is it any wonder that some of us are so depressed, given how we talk to ourselves?

How do we have peace when we’re caught up in anxiety about XYZ!

December 24, 2009

Maria Peace, Prayer, Reflections , 2 Comments

John 14: 27 b – Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

14:27a – (because)….Peace I leave with you: My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.

I’ve switched the order of verse 27, you’ll notice.

My husband is anxious about his job.  In fact, he hates his job.  It has been a source of intermittent disappointment and frustration for years.  His mood goes up and down depending on what happens at work.  His body manifests physical reactions when he especially feels stuck in his job.  In sum, he views his whole life through the lens of his feelings about his work.

As I have journeyed with him for almost 30 years, I have learned a great deal.  Today, as I was meditating on what seems like unanswered prayer, it occurred to me that every believer has something in his or her life that can be a huge distraction to peace with God.  We could have a child born with autism.  One of us could have cancer that doesn’t respond to treatment.  We could have an aging parent with Alzheimer’s.  Our children could be without faith.  So how does one obey Christ when he commands us NOT to fear, NOT to be anxious?  How does His imparting peace to us make a difference?

My conclusion, today, is that we have to compartmentalize the pain, to contextualize it in such a way to gain Christ’s perspective.  He has told us that each will have trouble in this life, but that He has given us His peace.  How are we to learn to RELY on His peace, unless we have very distracting trouble?  His peace cannot be made real to us, unless we HAVE to depend on it and see for ourselves that it is enough.  This is called living by faith.  The peace we all seek out, however, is the kind the world gives, circumstantial peace:  in my husband’s case – a solution to his career disappointment (a satisfying job).  In the other scenarios – a ‘normal’ child, a cancer-free spouse, an alert aging parent, born-again children.

How do we live so that His peace is real to us?  I think that we have to take time each day to soak in truth: to mediate on the grace we have been given, to look forward to the hope that is stored up for us in heaven, to remind ourselves of the promises/the guarantees that God has given us in faith.   Recalling these truths has to be the first thing we do each day, along with asking through prayer that the Holy Spirit remind us of the reality of Jesus’ promised peace.  Then as we are assaulted throughout the day by fear and doubt and discouragement, we can respond with faith as Jesus did when confronted by Satan.  “No, it is written…”

So, dear brothers & sisters let us seek to nurture Jesus’ peace in our hearts.  Let us make it ours, continually.  Just as soldiers are not passive, neither can we be passive in our pursuit of peace.  Nothing is static.  We are either moving toward God’s peace in our thoughts, or we are moving toward the discouragement that Satan sends our way.  His discouragement, based on lies, SEEMS to be the truth, because we live in his world.  However we don’t belong to the devil anymore.  As exiles in his world, we are living members in the Kingdom of Light (Truth), though for now living in the world controlled by Satan.

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