Resolving marital conflict, while vacationing

August 9, 2025

Maria Humility, James 4, Spiritual Warfare , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NLT

I had to humble myself before Mike as he did with me. Today is day five of this year’ journey to northern Italy with a couple of days on either end in Zürich.  Travel stress reveals our hearts, laying bare who we really are. 

Mike daily focuses on safely maneuvering the rental car, a Czech Skoda, as we listen to Italian directions and watch the Apple Car Play map display and verify with the road signs. That plus narrow one-lane streets that squeeze past ancient stone houses. I’m trying to be ‘helpful’.  It doesn’t take much effort to picture what our conversations are like.  

This afternoon, having parked the car for the night and after some unnecessary words from me about driving, we changed clothes and hiked up to a chapel on a hill.  As the church bells pealed, informing the valley that it was 4 pm, we slid into another verbal ‘splat’.  Mike turned around and sharply asked, “Why are you acting like this?  I was actually agreeing with you! Why do you feel you have to explain things to me?”  

Stunned into silence, I couldn’t account for my words either. Suddenly, I recognized what this is: spiritual attack!  I blurted out, “Mike, Satan is trying to mess with us. God has been so good to us. He’s brought us to a beautiful place and we’re hissing at each other. Please, pray.”  He recognized what and who was behind the day’s conflicts and asked me to pray to the Lord.  I did, pleading for Jesus to restore our union with Him and each other. Then we asked each other’s forgiveness.  And it was done. Peace restored.

Our good Father called us into marriage 45 years ago because He knew we’d rub each other in many unhealthy ways. Gradually, thanks to the Holy Spirit’s oil of peace, God is sanding us down, smoothing out the sharp and rough edges. Creating something beautiful out of each of us, I pray.

God keeps working, especially on vacations.  

Turning ‘events’ into adventures

July 11, 2024

Maria Fear, Humility, John 17, Knowing Jesus, Prayer, Service , , , 4 Comments

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy, and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Stanza 3, William Cowper, Light Shining out of Darkness

All week long, with intentionality, I have fought back old patterns of imagining the worst. Daily I have sought a different truth with which to fight fear. 

Anne had pointed me to Cowper’s poem more than 2 years ago when I was worried about what another family member might ask me to do to help my mother-in-law.  I had been traveling a lot already and did not want to add another air trip.  Besides sharing the Cowper verses, she had me actually articulate the worst that could happen: “I’ll have to fly out to Seattle and escort her to Asheville. And I don’t want to.” Anne then responded: ‘Do you think you’ll survive that short hardship?”

Well, put that way, what could I do but nod ‘yes’?

This morning reading Oswald Chambers devotion for July 11, I saw a healthier and saner way to approach ‘worst case scenarios’.

Oswald describes just how to think about all of life. It’s to keep reminding myself that the purpose of life, of every occurrence I face is to know Jesus.

Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3 NIV

And we ‘learn him’ better through every experience, from menial tasks to scary events. That is, IF we remember to view events from that perspective.

Using Jesus’ example of washing his disciples’ feet, Oswald writes that Jesus was willing to humble himself since he knew two fundamental truths: that he had come from God and was returning to God.

Continuing with Oswald, I should not approach a commitment, a volunteer responsibility or household chore with the attitude: ‘There’s work to be done, I must do it’. Instead, I should bring an attitude of wonder to the work at hand.  ‘I wonder what I will learn about Jesus in this?’

Just now sitting in the dental hygienist’s chair, the Holy Spirit reminded me, “This is an ‘event’.  (No, I don’t dread the dentist’s office!) Be on the alert from what you can learn about Jesus.”

I’ve been praying for ‘Karina’ since my last appointment, that she would come to know Jesus. With the Spirit’s prompt, as she removed tools from my mouth I asked her if her mom and dad were believers. That’s when I found out she grew up with Hispanic parents who never went to church.  I broke into Spanish and chatted with her some and created a point in common.  Now I understand more why she has no spiritual point of reference.

This is actually fun! Every part of my day is a new adventure if I seek to see more of Jesus.

And when it comes to those events I dread or worry about, I will continue to work on changing old patterns of fearful imagining of future problems. To that end, I’m copying Jesus, by applying and personalizing John 17:3 –  Since I know the Father loves me, I will do/face what is at hand, eager to know Jesus in a new way.  For this is what true life is.

To manipulate or not; that is the crux

June 29, 2024

Maria Humility, Love, Matthew 7 , , 1 Comment

In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 NASB

Sometimes, from early on as a child or teenager, you make a pledge never to do or act like one of your parents. As a teenager, I didn’t want to be ‘weak’ or ‘lazy’ like my mom. Nor did I want to be as ‘rigid’ as my dad. (Descriptions seen through negative teenage eyes!)

But then there are the patterns of behavior that slip into you without you knowing it. It might be a long while before you can make the connection between how one of your parents acted and what you do that is just like him or her.

This is one of my stories. I’m just now recognizing, mid 60s, how I try to ‘optimize or organize’ family behavior in an attempt to improve relationships. 

Another way of describing my clumsy attempts would be:  I try to manipulate or orchestrate the words and behavior of others toward an outcome I think is optimal.

My dad did this when I was still at home.  He sensed that there was a bit of a chill between his brother’s wife, Edna, and my mom. He would plan phone calls and ‘get’ my mom to talk with Edna.  He would instruct Mom to write Edna newsy, friendly letters. And my mom would comply to please my dad.

Now you have to know my mom.  She was the most people-loving person I have ever known.  As a practiced journalist, there wasn’t any one she couldn’t establish a connection and get them talking with ease.

She would also share how good Jesus was with every stranger she met.  Then having learned ‘their life’s story’ would pray on the spot for them.

But my aunt Edna (as well as my mother-in-law, Terry) were not women who warmed to my mom. 

It’s a fact, not everyone is going to like us. Even if we have a genuine love for people.  Even if they are part of the family.

My dad wouldn’t accept that Edna didn’t care for my mother and he would push her to keep trying to engage with his sister-in-law.  He also did that with me, forcing me to show emotions that I didn’t have.  I learned to fake sympathy, empathy and apologies just to appease him. He never seemed to pick up on their inauthenticity.

The main point of me telling you this, is that I now realize how I have done that with Mike ever since we had grandkids.  I probably started early on to project my anxiety over my natural abilities as a grandmother onto him.

As I have grown more in confidence as a grandparent, I see how I have tried to ‘get Mike’ to act in certain ways making ‘veiled’ suggestions. My man is intuitive and emotionally in tune to others. He can smell manipulation a mile off, just as I could as a teen with my dad.

Besides suggesting what to do with our grandkids, I also say things like, ‘Have you contacted your brother recently?” or, “You know, you could respond to ‘so-and-so’ by writing this.”

I’m horrified to realize that I’ve been acting just like my dad. It’s not loving. It’s fear-based and wrong. And it’s prideful. Who says you should copy my way of interacting with others?

If I didn’t like how my dad forced his ways on me or my mom, then my dear husband doesn’t either.  I therefore resolve, with God’s help, to ‘let it go’ and work on Maria. May I let others manage their own relationships to suit themselves and please God.

Fortunately, Mike is very kind. He’ll forgive me when I slip into old patterns. But I do want to kill this off.

Do you need humbling?

April 11, 2024

Maria God's Discipline, God's Sovereignty, God's wisdom, Humility, Philippians 2, Psalm 149 , , , , , 1 Comment

He crowns the humble with victory. Psalm 149:4 NIV

A dear friend of ours, a pastor, is undergoing a Calvary-like experience. He and four other ordained ministers are being unjustly accused by an insecure senior pastor of many things. Over the past two years at his church, these experiences have been growing progressively worse. All those who are standing with him pray for ‘victory’ soon.

His painful trial triggered a memory of the humbling trauma I endured at my last school. Lasting almost six years, it blind-sided me. With joy and excitement, I had started a school year, in this new environment with 21 years of teaching French behind me.  Never did I anticipate what the Lord would put me through.

Half-way into my first year, some disgruntled parents painted a false picture of how I had treated their middle-schoolers.  The administration, anxious to keep them as paying clients at this high-end private school, sided with them.  I spent the rest of my time under probation, with much documentation of my ‘progress’ or lack in my official file.

Even though the accusations were unfounded in my mind, I did grow spiritually.  I clung more to Jesus than I had in recent years. I trained myself to submit to the shame-producing supervision and frequent evaluations.  My stomach learned to produce acid each time the principal’s secretary notified me that ‘Jeff’ wanted to meet with me.

I came out of those years a more humbled woman, a better teacher and grateful for the support I received from family, a few close friends and a couple of sympathetic colleagues. 

I had undergone a previous humbling story at an earlier school, half-way through my teaching years. Never did I anticipate another one. Nor did I imagine God’s other delivery method of lessons in humility, family members!  (I’ve already written about that in this blog.)

So, what about humility?  If our Father loves us and is good and has our best interests at heart, why does he plan all this?  It hurts!

The only conclusion is that we must need it. I’m not saying that what our friend is undergoing highlights a character flaw in him. But God has designed and ordained these lessons.  Knowing our gentle friend, I doubt that he has a big ego that requires ‘tailoring’ to size.  Our Father has myriads of reasons for his lessons. For now, his purposes must stay in the category of ‘the secret things of God’.

It helps to recall that Jesus suffered a lot of humility.  Just even coming to earth as one of us defines humiliation. Imagine his trajectory, that from King of the Universe and honored, beloved Son of God, to a baby born out of wedlock into a poor family in the backwaters of Galilee.

But the difference between Jesus and us, is that our Savior didn’t need to be humbled.  Yet in God’s plan, he had to suffer all that we go through to be able to identify with us and help us.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Philippians 2:8 NIV

All I’m reading these days points me to the value of humility.  One thing is for sure! This time, I don’t want to wait to BE humbled.  I want to start seeking little ways to grow right now new reflexes and attitudes.  I want to receive correction and criticism with gentleness, accepting that it comes from my Father’s hand.

I’ll close with some quotes on how to grow more humble from Dallas Willard towards the very end of his book, A Life without Lack.

“Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow-man who tries or vexes you as a means of grace to humble you.  Use every opportunity of humbling yourself before your fellow-men as a help to abide humble before God….This is your best prayer and proof that your whole heart desires to grow in humility.”

The Gospel according to Ted

July 8, 2023

Maria Common Grace, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Grace, Humility, Matthew 5, Psalm 145 , , , , , , , 1 Comment

The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made. Psalm 145:9 ESV

He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong. Matthew 5:45 CEV

If you would like to see a contemporary picture of the power of humility and forgiveness, then watch the Apple TV series “Ted Lasso.”

No, it’s not a Christian series. And yes, it’s replete with worldly cultural values. But boy will it encourage you, make you smile and shed tears over the many moments of personal growth and reconciliation. 

Ted Lasso is a college football coach who catches the eye of a fictional British Premier League football club owner when he transforms his American players from a group of discouraged individuals into a united team that wins a championship.  The Club’s new owner, a recently divorced woman, just happens to be searching for the worst possible coaches to replace the here-tofore winning leadership. Her goal? To drive AFC Richmond into the ground to spite her former husband.  She selects Ted and his assistant Coach Beard because they are a bit weird and most likely to be off-putting to team and fans alike.  And they know next to nothing about soccer. 

During the show’s three seasons, we see a beautiful picture of how God has created and wired all humans in his image. The scriptwriters develop characters who display what we all long for, the need to share freely who we are without fear or shame, and after a conflict, to be reconciled with another.

Over the course of the show’s three seasons, I saw echoes of biblical accounts as well as literary classics such as Les Misérables:

  • Several situations reminded me of the Samaritan woman at the well who reveled in being truly known: “This man told me all about myself!”
  • Ted Lasso’s own suffering and personal pain don’t deter him from his own principles of offering multiple chances to people.  He appears to be cut from the same cloth as the bishop who extends grace to Jean Valjean in Victor Hugo’s classic. At times Ted reminds me of the father, who represents God, in the Prodigal Son.  Lasso never resorts to: Didn’t I tell you so? Nor, does he want an apology. Rather he affirms his confidence in players and associates encouraging them to learn from their mistakes and do better.

We see scenario after scenario of the power of humility and serving others, illustrating the principle of ‘he who desires to be great, let him humble himself.’

The script writers outdid themselves developing quirky and endearing personalities. We saw the importance of unity, honesty, forgiveness and humor during the three seasons of Ted Lasso. 

This series left me with the impression that people CAN and DO change in an environment of love, respect and safety, and that we should think the best of everyone we meet. 

Pretty remarkable for a current series.  Well done Apple TV!

What does it mean when I’m bored?

January 5, 2023

Maria Humility, Luke 10, Worship , , , Leave a comment

But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor? Luke 10:29 Berean Standard Bible

I confess! I felt bored during church this past Sunday.  Really? Sunday, the first day of a brand-new year? Isn’t that when most people feel the most energized by the hope of new possibilities, potential growth, plans and changes for the good?

I did confess multiple times during the service this sin of a cold heart, “Father, I’m ashamed of feeling this way. I don’t understand my ennui, this impatience with the service.  I’m definitely not worshipping. Forgive me!  Joyce often tells me how much she looks forward to and longs to be fed at church, how those hours with others in worship and in fellowshipping fill her with joy and energy. What’s wrong with me?”

Then two days later, boredom during my Spanish conversation hour shocked me. “What is going on?  Am I just bored with my life?”

Thankfully, God spoke to me through one of Graham’s podcasts.  Although his message centered on business advice, I immediately saw an application to my life. He spoke about how humility in one’s business is the key (and often the missing ingredient) to success.  Explaining that being humble is not thinking poorly of oneself but rather thinking less often about oneself, he counseled business owners to begin with considering how best to serve their customers.

Most entrepreneurs and companies produce products or offer services that support their personal or organizational goals. That isn’t ‘bad’ but Graham suggested first focusing on and analyzing the most pressing needs of clients. He seeks a way to serve his clients, providing what they lack.

I asked myself, “Is this what I’ve been missing in my weekly activities? Maybe entering each morning set on serving others would transform my day. Dallas Willard describes this intention as a ‘to-whom-will-I-be-a-neighbor’ kind of posture. I bet THAT would turn the ordinary into an adventure, since the Lord is in charge of bring ‘neighbors’ across my path!” 

In my day-to-day life a lot of what I do is serve people, since I am retired. I volunteer in various places and in different ways. But maybe, by being more intentional in how I approach the day or the occasion and by studying how best to serve the person in front of me, I will feel more energized and expectant.

A doable practice to implement, I realize, will be how Jamie Winship interacts with the people he encounters each day.  With each contact, he bypasses the formulaic, ‘How’s it going?’ and instead uses a generative (i.e., unique) question, tailored to the individual.  Just how does he personalize his words? He describes leading with a question based on an observation about the person. Maybe the name tag of the grocery store check-out gal provides a clue. Or perhaps the Uber driver’s tattoo could provide an entry point.

In other words, as a first step, I’m to really look at the person in front of me, ‘study them’ so to speak, to learn if there’s a way to serve or help them.

Returning to my experience at church last Sunday, I hope to bring a different heart into worship.  I plan on asking Jesus to help me enter into the community with an attitude that seeks to connect with my brothers and sisters.  Who among them needs some comfort, some encouragement or just a hug? Most importantly, may I worship the Lord, serving him with a glad, thankful AND whole heart.

When you don’t know what to do.

November 20, 2022

Maria 1 Peter 3, Ecclesiastes 3, God's wisdom, Humility, James 1, Jeremiah 33 , , , , Leave a comment

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5 ESV

I drafted a different kind of post yesterday, thinking that God wanted me to take a break from writing these weekly blogs.  When I talked it over with Mike, he responded that this is one of those neutral issues, that I am free to cease or to continue. When we prayed before dinner, he asked the Lord to guide me in this decision.

After dinner, since I always check emails before settling down to read, I caught a text that gave me pause. Valerie had written me to say how much my last blog piece had helped her in the midst of some self-reproach. Wow!  I took that a guidance from Jesus to keep writing. And then this morning, Linda reenforced that encouragement with her kind words.

So, I will continue.  Below is what I THOUGHT I was going to post.  But, God!

***

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:a time to keep silence, and a time to speak….Ecclesiastes 3: -1, 7 ESV

I have been blogging regularly since 23 November 2009.  That is thirteen years.

I started writing publicly in order to capture those thoughts God generated in me based on Scripture. I had filled notebooks with them, but never went back to read my ‘nuggets’.  I ended up throwing my journals away. In shifting to blogging, my reasoning went like this:  ‘At least I’ll have a permanent record of this growing in understanding God.’

Sometimes something I heard on a Christian podcast or read in a book would prompt me to think more deeply and apply what the Lord was showing me.

No doubt you recognize my vanity in believing that my reflections can help others see something new and fresh about God.

But, even if these posts don’t connect with anyone, my life is proof of one of Mike’s favorite quotes, ‘Writing is thinking’.

But recently I have wondered if my self-generated weekly commitment to post something publicly hasn’t caused me to think too much and too often about myself and what I am feeling or going through.

This morning, the Holy Spirit focused that line of thinking, directing me to the suggestion that I ‘fast’ from writing these blogs.  I noted in my journal: “Is my blogging perpetuating this ongoing inward focus on Maria?”

You’ve heard the description of humility, no doubt: “Don’t think less of yourself, just think of yourself less.”

To that end, I am initiating an Advent fast. Will I still write?  Yes, but with a focus on magnifying God.  And privately. 

My goal is to grow into the kind of woman described in 1 Peter 3:4 and 6.  You remember that glimpse of Abraham’s wife Sarah whose inner beauty came from her faith in God during scary times?

“And you are her (Sarah’s) children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening…..” Verse 6.   Peter has just written earlier in verse 4, “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

I want to cultivate that quiet spirit.

Thank you to all of you who have written kind comments and thoughtful responses. You have encouraged me in both what I have shared and my writing skills. 

So, faithful and kind readers, I bid you ‘au revoir’ or possibly ‘adieu’.  The Lord will direct me. In the meantime, keep mining the Word for the gold that is there.  Our God promises that if we seek him with a sincere and persistent heart, he will meet with us and reveal previously hidden things.

‘Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ Jeremiah 33:3

What do you hope people notice about you?

November 17, 2022

Maria Gentleness, Humility, Patience, Philippians 4, Titus , , Leave a comment

Let your ________ be evident to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5 NIV

If you know your Bible well, you can easily add the missing word without checking.

Before you do pull out your phone to verify what you think Paul wrote, just play with me for a moment. What other quality might Paul have exhorted us to strive for? 

Paul COULD have said, ‘Let your…..love be evident to all’. That would make sense given that in 1 Corinthians 13 the apostle says that love is the greatest gift of the Spirit.

 Or, let your good deeds, or holiness, or Bible knowledge or wisdom. 

But no. Paul mentions ‘gentleness’. Checking synonyms, I found patience and moderation as possibilities. Paul provided more clarity in Titus 3:2, where he describes ‘gentleness’ as ‘showing humility to everyone’.

What convicted me this morning when thinking about this verse, is how I try to make some pretty shallow qualities be evident to all.  Such as my intelligence, or fitness, or even Bible knowledge.

But what I think I ACTUALLY exhibit, at times, is my selfishness.  One way this shows up is in the way I ‘naturally’ go about helping someone.  What I’m learning is that my natural response has been to provide the kind of encouragement or assistance that would help me. This means I have assumed the person is like me and shares the same needs, or receives love as I do.

Loving others takes intention and effort.  What kind of effort?  I’m realizing, again, that I have to study someone to learn what a need is and what would actually meet that need.

Just because I feel helped or loved a certain way doesn’t mean my friend processes her need the same way.

I’m a work in progress in this journey towards holiness. Progress, not perfection, is what I’m striving for.  I truly do want to be more like Jesus.

Futile speculations

October 6, 2022

Maria Humility, Proverbs 29, Romans 1, Trusting God , 1 Comment

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is one who keeps the Law. Proverbs 29:18 NASB

I worked hard last night.  Thinking.  No wonder I woke up, already tired.

Just how did I spend hours in the night speculating about scenarios? I’m in Seattle helping my mother-in-law sort through what to discard, donate, sell and move across country. 

Since Mom is mostly wheelchair bound, I imagined her actual flight across country and the actual move in and set up in her new Senior Living apartment. I examined and lived through future scenarios as I imagined them to be.  That is, from THIS point and time stamp on the horizontal.

This morning, with my Frenchpress coffee, I listened to one of John Eldredge’s Pause meditations and immediately SAW how I had exchanged God’s gift of rest for time spent focused on the cares of this world.

I journaled my conversation:

  • ‘Jesus, I disconnected myself from you. I see now what happened, where I went wrong.
  • Did I even ask you, before turning out the light, to increase my focus on you?  No!
  • Did I pray for you to fill me with more of you, crowding out temporal thoughts? No!’

Then I wrote my plea.  ‘Tonight, Father, please!  Remind me…give me a compelling picture of you, so I can hand over my cares.’

I didn’t have to wait until tonight. Immediately, an earlier ‘vision’ or picture of Jesus’ night vigil, watching over me popped into my mind.

At times during the past several months, I have settled into sleep picturing Jesus and me sitting cozily together on a leather sofa in front of a fire crackling with warmth and light.

I tell him my cares, humbly off-loading them as Peter instructs us in 1 Peter 5:7.  He receives them and bids me good night.  I move off into the bedroom and leave the door cracked.  My situations are with him for the night.

This morning, I took that vision a step further.  I imagined Jesus reminding me before I left my warm spot next to him: ‘Remember, Maria, I will work out the details and give you instructions for these events when it is time.’  I nod and go off to bed.

Do you remember the words before that ‘Cast all your cares on Him….’ promise?  God instructs us to give him our situations by humbling ourselves.  That means, we let go of them.  We release the illusion that we know best. 

Hm. That’s hard.

The Lord brought Solomon’s God-inspired teaching to mind right after my cabin scenario. Using the various Hebrew slants of several terms, I worded Proverbs 29:18 like this:

Part A – Where there is no mental sight or dream, the people neglect, overlook (God).  They are uncovered, open to unbridled human thoughts.

Part B – But he that guards and treasures God’s instruction is HAPPY, blessed!

That truth-seeking treasure hunt down the paths of words led me to God’s reminder in Psalm 40:4  How happy (blessed) is the man who has made the Lord his trust!

With those reflections in my journal, I moved on to one of the morning’s readings in Romans 1.  God clobbered me with more reinforcement.

Romans 1:25 –  Just as non-Christians who turn their backs on God, I am guilty of exchanging the truth about the Lord for lies. 

Such as:  I have to figure this out myself!

Just four verses earlier in Romans 1:21 I read and wrote down:  When I am not thanking God and honoring him, I indulge in futile, empty speculations.

How am I to honor or celebrate God?  By surrendering my cherished worries. Those patterns of preoccupying thoughts that lead to exhaustion.

Okay, Father, I get it.

Tonight, before I turn out the light, I will ask you to strengthen my resolve to hand over everyone and everything to you. Then by your supernatural power, I will trust you and expect you to help me fill my thoughts of your ‘able-ness’, willingness and goodness.

So, you think you know her?

April 7, 2022

Maria 1 Corinthians 13, Compassion, Humility, Judgment , , , , 2 Comments

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT

‘Ouch!’ her bracing remark pierced a wound I thought had healed.

I focused mostly on my hurt feelings that first day or two as I mulled over her words and what had prompted them.

Eventually, I saw them as part of a pattern in our past interactions.  From there, it was easy to conclude that her particular childhood environment and behaviors she had absorbed from family members had made her like this.  And so, I viewed my ‘analysis’ as conclusive.

Fast forward a couple of weeks.  God graciously brought new information from a different source. I learned about some of the pressures she’d been under. Compassion welled up in my heart.  How would I feel carrying around all ‘that’ on top of regular responsibilities?

Then just to make sure I didn’t let that perspective fade, God made sure to affirm it with Paul’s truth I read the other morning in his first letter to the Corinthians.

The fact is, I tend to judge people’s actions and assign them motives that I make up.  I know I’m probably wrong most of the time.

For example, a couple of months ago while shopping at Kroger I judged a man to be a thief.  His little child was eating a banana. I then saw him THROW AWAY the peel, right there in the produce section.  ‘Come on, Dad, that’s pure theft!  And what kind of example are you setting for your son?’

A few minutes later I rounded an aisle and saw a big Kroger sign offering free fruit to children as part as their corporate commitment to helping teach little ones good health habits. 

Humility and embarrassment set in.  So glad I didn’t open my mouth to that dad!

We NEVER know the complete story about someone.  Besides, who are we to judge their hearts?  Who are we even to assume we have the entire story?

As Oswald Chambers says – “Stop having a measuring stick for other people. There is always at least one more fact, which we know nothing about, in every person’s situation. The first thing God does is to give us a thorough spiritual cleaning. After that, there is no possibility of pride remaining in us.”

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