Do you need humbling?

April 11, 2024

Maria God's Discipline, God's Sovereignty, God's wisdom, Humility, Philippians 2, Psalm 149 , , , , , 1 Comment

He crowns the humble with victory. Psalm 149:4 NIV

A dear friend of ours, a pastor, is undergoing a Calvary-like experience. He and four other ordained ministers are being unjustly accused by an insecure senior pastor of many things. Over the past two years at his church, these experiences have been growing progressively worse. All those who are standing with him pray for ‘victory’ soon.

His painful trial triggered a memory of the humbling trauma I endured at my last school. Lasting almost six years, it blind-sided me. With joy and excitement, I had started a school year, in this new environment with 21 years of teaching French behind me.  Never did I anticipate what the Lord would put me through.

Half-way into my first year, some disgruntled parents painted a false picture of how I had treated their middle-schoolers.  The administration, anxious to keep them as paying clients at this high-end private school, sided with them.  I spent the rest of my time under probation, with much documentation of my ‘progress’ or lack in my official file.

Even though the accusations were unfounded in my mind, I did grow spiritually.  I clung more to Jesus than I had in recent years. I trained myself to submit to the shame-producing supervision and frequent evaluations.  My stomach learned to produce acid each time the principal’s secretary notified me that ‘Jeff’ wanted to meet with me.

I came out of those years a more humbled woman, a better teacher and grateful for the support I received from family, a few close friends and a couple of sympathetic colleagues. 

I had undergone a previous humbling story at an earlier school, half-way through my teaching years. Never did I anticipate another one. Nor did I imagine God’s other delivery method of lessons in humility, family members!  (I’ve already written about that in this blog.)

So, what about humility?  If our Father loves us and is good and has our best interests at heart, why does he plan all this?  It hurts!

The only conclusion is that we must need it. I’m not saying that what our friend is undergoing highlights a character flaw in him. But God has designed and ordained these lessons.  Knowing our gentle friend, I doubt that he has a big ego that requires ‘tailoring’ to size.  Our Father has myriads of reasons for his lessons. For now, his purposes must stay in the category of ‘the secret things of God’.

It helps to recall that Jesus suffered a lot of humility.  Just even coming to earth as one of us defines humiliation. Imagine his trajectory, that from King of the Universe and honored, beloved Son of God, to a baby born out of wedlock into a poor family in the backwaters of Galilee.

But the difference between Jesus and us, is that our Savior didn’t need to be humbled.  Yet in God’s plan, he had to suffer all that we go through to be able to identify with us and help us.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Philippians 2:8 NIV

All I’m reading these days points me to the value of humility.  One thing is for sure! This time, I don’t want to wait to BE humbled.  I want to start seeking little ways to grow right now new reflexes and attitudes.  I want to receive correction and criticism with gentleness, accepting that it comes from my Father’s hand.

I’ll close with some quotes on how to grow more humble from Dallas Willard towards the very end of his book, A Life without Lack.

“Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow-man who tries or vexes you as a means of grace to humble you.  Use every opportunity of humbling yourself before your fellow-men as a help to abide humble before God….This is your best prayer and proof that your whole heart desires to grow in humility.”

Do you resent or accept your ‘boundary lines’?

December 16, 2021

Maria Envy, God's Discipline, God's goodness, God's Sovereignty, Gospel, Hearing God, Psalm 16, Trusting God , , , , , 1 Comment

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely, I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. Psalm 16:6-7 NIV

Where Mike and I lived in Western North Carolina, we frequently would pop into a gift shop on Main Street called, Pleasant Places.  We bought our squirrel-proof bird feeder from these nature-loving owners and always enjoyed chatting with them.

This morning I was thinking of David, who joined the top ranks of ‘Who’s Who in Israel’s History’, who penned this Holy Spirit-inspired truth about his boundary lines. That led me to reflect on my life.

I started out my young adult life with a desire-fueled goal. At age 18 I already knew I loved learning and speaking other languages as well as adapting to new cultures.  I calculated that the most adventure-packed international career I could choose would be the Foreign Service, also known as the State Department.  I was fully aware of how challenging it would prove to be selected.  So, I chose to apply for an ROTC scholarship to help fund college, knowing that five years of military experience as an officer after graduation could make my candidacy more appealing

I even majored in Russian and Russian Studies to increase my value to the State Department. But my intended trajectory completely changed when I met Mike that summer after graduating and getting commissioned as a new second lieutenant.  He and I had been assigned to the same basic officers’ course for the Military Intelligence branch. Within 6 weeks I found myself saying ‘yes’ to his marriage proposal and we were wed in April 1980.

I chose life with Mike over my original career path, thereby changing the trajectory of the rest of my life. Do I regret that quick decision?  No, not in the least. Do I ever feel sad when I survey remaining longings for overseas living adventures?  Yes!

But I can say with heart-felt conviction that my boundary lines, much narrower than I imagined I could want, have been good for me. The Lord really does know what he is doing.

The most significant example of how God’s plan turned out far better for me comes from early on in our marriage.  We were 24 and were confronted with the gospel message for the first time. We might have heard what Jesus did in the denomination we grew up in, but not in a compelling way.  This presentation clearly and immediately drew us to respond with a hearty ‘YES!’ to God’s offer of salvation, lordship and forever fellowship.

I know that without Mike, I would have stopped going to church.  I never attended an Episcopal church my four years at the University of Virginia. Yet, there must have been a flicker of authentic Holy-Spirit desire in me, for meeting Mike who did attend church faithfully, intrigued me. I joined him each Sunday morning for church and brunch afterwards.  As long as I was with him, I went willingly.

But I know that had we only dated and parted as friends in December 1979, I would not have continued going to church on my own.  Services frankly bored me.

Furthermore, I would have likely continued along my self-centered, sexually-immoral, career-focused path with little thought about church or the things of God.

What would my life be like now, at 64? I do believe I’d be a believer as I am now.  But I am grateful for four decades of following (erratic as it has been for long periods) Jesus.  I don’t doubt that eventually God would have gotten my attention. Probably in a painful way, like an inconvenient, unwanted and shaming pregnancy. Instead, he had drawn me with ‘cords of kindness’ through that quick decision to join my life with Mike’s. 

I keep going back to my ‘pleasant’ boundary lines. I trust God, and especially when he has written in Psalm 84:11 ‘No good thing do I withhold from those whose way is upright’.

When those inevitable wistful dreams resurface, when I envy others for getting to live overseas and speak other languages, I remind myself that:  HAD IT BEEN A GOOD THING FOR ME, then the Lord would have ordained it.

Last week’s birthday present from God

July 27, 2020

Maria Forgiveness, God's Discipline, Humbled, Psalm 94, Sin, Uncategorized , , , 1 Comment

Last Thursday was my birthday and it ranks the best I’ve celebrated in a long while.   One I won’t forget, for sure.

What made it so meaningful? Was it the fact that when I walked into my Orange Theory fitness class, the manager had written a ‘Happy Birthday, Maria!’ message on the tripod chalk board?  What a way to kick off and energize MY day. I felt special, being made much of by the staff

Was it that I got to tutor a 10-year old Russian gal in English and we had a breakthrough in how best to learn English?  No…although that was very satisfying.

Could it be that my husband Mike planned, shopped for, prepared, and plated a delicious steak dinner for me? A first in our 40 years together? We WILL be calling this a new tradition, adding it to our treasure chest of cherished rituals.  I ABSOLUTELY loved this gift, because Mike had announced to me more than 2 weeks prior just what was in the works.  The anticipation of my meal gave me great joy as ‘my day’ approached.

All the above delightful activities marked my celebration.  But the ‘highlight’ was how my heavenly Father humbled and rebuked, via my hairdresser.

Every 8 weeks I sit for 2+ hours in Shannon’s chair.  She ‘refreshes’ my color, washes, conditions and trims my hair.

The salon had rescheduled last week’s original appointment two times. They didn’t check with me first to verify that the new times would work with my calendar.  They just shifted them, notifying me by text.  The new time of 10 am left me with little margin to eat lunch and tutor the Russian gal.  This TIME boundary directed my thoughts and words.  Once the receptionist verified my normal temperature, my first words to Shannon attacked:

” I have to be out of here by 11:45 at the latest because I have another appointment…AND…. (intended to punctuate my seriousness) YOU ALL moved my time twice, putting me in this position!”

Shannon shot back, “Well, THAT’s aggressive!”

Bulls eye!  Her rebuke penetrated my heart. The LORD got me! The Holy Spirit convicted me in meteor-like speed.

Shame filled me!  She was right.  I hadn’t even greeted her with a friendly, “Hi, Shannon. How are you doing?”

Had I treated Mike that way….. launching into a blame-wrapped demand for something from him…….well, I like to think I wouldn’t have.

Yet, here I was entering Shannon’s salon and treating her like a machine, not another human being.

Profuse apologies poured from my mouth as I told her that I was SO sorry and that she was SO right to call me on that.  I knew this was from the Lord.  What kind of ambassador for Christ am I with that kind of interacting?

So, what I did next, was to ask her: “Shannon, can we rewind the scene and start over?”

Desire granted.  I backed up 5-6 feet and walked up to her with a smile: “Hi, Shannon, how are you? Thanks for fitting me in, today.  I know scheduling with Covid restraints is a challenge.”  She played the part with warmth and proceeded to seat me in her chair.

What a gift from my heavenly Father, to see how my self-preoccupation led me to sin. Human beings are all image bearers of Almighty God, worthy of respect and kindness.

I will not forget THAT reminder.  On my birthday, too.  Conviction and the ability to ask pardon and receive forgiveness from the offended, hurt person is a gift.

Oh, Father, take not thy Holy Spirit from me! Thank you that You forgive me when I sin. Because of Jesus. Keep me meditating on your kindness, rather than my schedule.

Psalm 94:12 Blessed is the man You discipline, O LORD, and teach from Your law,