Grappling with my identity and some bothersome feelings
How freeing it is to know that Jesus’ door is always open. He has unlimited time to listen to me. Theologian A.W. Tozer once wrote something to the effect that: ‘What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us’.
So, if we wrongly believe that we have to edit our communication with Jesus or even keep back sharing of shameful feelings, we damage His reputation and deprive ourselves of much needed correction and comfort.
Here are two meditations from this week’s writing and thinking project.
But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel. Matthew 2:6 NIV
‘But I’m only a _____!’ Have you ever said that to yourself?
Consider those shepherds described by Luke, busy doing their shepherd-thing the night Mary was birthing our ‘Shepherd-Ruler’.
This morning in my reading, I noticed that Jesus’ rule is likened foremost to a protector and caretaker of sheep. In Jesus’ day, people despised and minimized this lowly profession. But God, the ‘re-orderer’ of status, calls shepherds fundamental.
Maybe angels first appeared to these rough-hewn men to correct THEIR identity. I can imagine God’s message: You shepherds serve in the same profession as the Messiah, the Divine Shepherd, who will govern my people. Don’t listen to what the world says about you. Continue to be good shepherds, for this is a noble calling, worthy of honor.
Whose voice are you listening to when you repeat: ‘I’m just a ____’?
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Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lamentations 2:19 NIV
Buying Christmas gifts for adult kids is challenging. I thought I had found something creative and different when I read about a local Alabama man who crafts custom bowties. Neither of my sons has a bowtie. Why not choose a fun accessory, to be worn on a special occasion? I picked a themed pattern, and through in some novel socks.
Elder son didn’t mention our gift. When I asked him, he said: “Not something I will ever use; I haven’t even worn a regular tie in nine years, but thanks anyway.” I felt hurt.
Michael comfortingly empathized with me. Resolving just to let the hurt go, I mentioned to Jesus what I felt and invited His input. Unsurprisingly, He agreed I should forgive. What He then brought up gave me pause. ‘What about all the times you have ignored my gifts, failing to thank Me? How do you think I have felt?’
It helps to release and receive from Jesus!
Reflections on God's Word 
Jan 10, 2021 @ 20:55:59
Maria, Oh how I love your transparency and practicality. You are doing your readers a great favor by illustrating how the Lord speaks personally to you during your time alone with Him and His Word. Your daily discipline inspires and nudges me not to miss out on such times.
Keep striving for a creative gift for your grown sons….I identify with you on the need to give something original and unique. Again this year we gave our older son a gift card and I resolved to do something much more personal and original next year, though I do not know what yet (at least a long poem for each of my sons).
By the way, even if you have not written many poems, have you considered crafting a poem to each grown child and for Mike next year? You can work on each well in advance…..think of specific reasons you are grateful for each…specific traits they exhibit…etc. just an idea)
One idea that worked well for me that could be applied to Mike and your sons is one I implemented about 15 years ago at Christmas. I phoned DOlly’s best friends back in Indiana (we lived there for a church position for a few years), her relatives in Tenn and Alabama, and best friends here and in our church, and asked them to complete the following sentence with concrete traits they see in her and maybe m,mention specific anecdotes about her….I emphasized DO NOT TELL HER about this and had them mail the letter to ME at CIU so she would not see them. The sentence was, “Dolly, I thank God for you because….” Then I wrote my own long letter and put it in an envelope. I did not open the ones intended for her…then I wrapped all of them in a box and bow and she was stunned at all the words of encouragement. I have made so many mistakes in my marriage, but that was something I did right!
John Piper used to give his church a gift of a long poem for Christmas, chock-full of Scripture. (It seems like the great one on Job was written in that context, but not sure.)
Keep on living and serving strong, my friend. Terry on Jan 10
Terry Powell
Professor of Church Ministry
Seminary & School of Ministry
Columbia International University
(803) 807-5453 (Office)
Cell: 803-673-0231
(803) 807-5850 (Fax)
Twitter: @terrydpowell
Website: penetratingthedarkness.com
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