I don’t react kindly to criticism. In fact my mother-in-law once told me I was spoiled (I’m an only child – maybe it goes with the territory)!
So when my husband held up a hand to stop me from butting in while he was speaking, I felt shut down. When I voiced my objection, he said he didn’t appreciate being interrupted. Not much I could say to that, for my remark definitely and abruptly had been an attempt to cut into his explanation. And it wasn’t the first time.
“I’m just raising a question!” I sputtered. Even as I tried to justify my rudeness, I began to see for the first time how this breaking into someone’s verbal train of thought was actually habitual with me.
Scenes from visits with my adult sons flashed through my mind. How many times in our discussions about God had I inserted MYself with MY views right in the middle of their sharing. Much to their credit and my shame, they always patiently yielded to me when I cut in to pass on my brilliant God-moment.
Back to that incident in the kitchen with my husband. This was not the first time he had gestured to me when I started to jump in with my 2 cents worth. In fact, I had showcased the very same annoying habit the previous evening with friends over for dinner. Stung, I self-righteously felt wronged when he had put a halt to my butting in with discrete body language.
But this night I had seen my action for what it was – just plain rude and unloving. It was like the Holy Spirit opened my eyes. A bit humiliated, I nonetheless discerned an emboldened desire to pray for help in retraining myself.
Since that ‘teaching moment‘ in the kitchen two weeks ago, God has provided reinforcement of not only my need to change but the truth that I CAN change. He has brought podcast remarks and scripture across my path, reminding me of supernatural power available to those who have been transferred into God’s kingdom of light (evidently, there is enough light for even me to see the need to change!)
Peter encourages us to make every effort to add moral goodness to the faith that we have been given (1 Pet 1:5). But this is AFTER he has reminded believers that we have been given FAITH to become partners in the divine nature of God as we KNOW and TRUST Jesus’ promises.
What I’m learning is that all of the promises of power in the Bible are ours as God’s regenerate children. But we have to act on them, using the faith that we’ve been given. (we don’t ‘gin up’ the faith ourselves)
John Piper created an acronym to assist himself and us in accessing God’s help during those moments when we see our need:
A – Admit you are helpless – sounds like an AA principle!
P – Pray and tell God what you need
T – Think of one of those encouraging promises from God’s word and Trust it (like- I can do ALL things through Him who strengthens me – Phil 4:13)
A – Act on the promise, though you don’t FEEL any power. Take the action necessary, trusting that God is 100 % faithful to come through as He has said. This is walking by faith and not by sight.
T – Thank Him after the fact for supplying the power, provision and/or whatever you asked Him for
**
I’m ashamed to admit that this is only the second time in my life that I have attempted to change my behavior in response to God’s nudge. Oh, I’ve tried self-transformation before, but these adjustments have been me-centered, to make me happier or make others think better of me (grand-parenting skills, weight, fitness, sleep habits, intellect, hobbies).
The first time was 14 years ago when serious fissures in both my and Mike’s view of marriage threatened to torpedo our covenant. I read books and prayed and sought out wise Christian women to guide me in adopting a Biblical view of marriage, something that was foreign to me even though I had been ‘in church’ since the age of 9.
But it has been years since that crisis. And thanks be to Him and the manner in which He got our attention, our marriage is now a source of true joy for both of us. It obviously took God hitting me with a padded 2×4 to get my attention. At least this time, the catalyst to change my unloving interruptions was less painful.
I wonder what else is in His divine lesson plan for me!
Nov 24, 2014 @ 00:26:18
Another great testament. I really enjoy your blog! Happy Thanksgiving to you both.
Cathy Wishing you a blessed day! “Faith is not about everything turning out okay; faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.”
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Nov 24, 2014 @ 15:44:50
Cathy – thanks dear friend! May you and Don enjoy thanking God with friends and family!
Nov 24, 2014 @ 04:27:44
I think we could both write volumes on this very topic. If misery loves company- well, I’m right there with you! For me, it was always “one-upping” whomever I was with. Gross, but like most wretched sinners, that was me! Isn’t it wonderful how Jesus rebukes us to make us grow and learn?
Nov 24, 2014 @ 15:45:51
Mary – Let’s pray for each other! And yes, I’m so thankful for Jesus not despairing about our ‘wretchedness’ and casting us away from Him!