Voilà my favorite topic – me!
I’ve grown increasingly aware via my lived-out experiences as well as through reading Christian authors of this unpleasant fact: the more we grow in our knowledge of God and His standards of holiness, the more we realize how far short we fall.
(Thank the good Lord that our salvation does NOT depend on meeting the bar, but on what Jesus did on our behalf!)
So when the desire rises in me to boast, in a fake nonchalant way about myself or my kids, I have to pray to resist this pathetic urge. For that is what it is – sick self-aggrandizement!
Why should I brag about how XYZ I am as though it is a true representation of my value? Because it’s NOT who I really am. Yes, I feel a momentary rush as I bask in my own self-proclaimed glory, whether you admire me or not. But here’s the rub: it’s not the total picture of who I am.
To be honest, if you knew all those thoughts and feelings and actions that I keep from you, you’d laugh to think that I, Maria, even thought highly of herself for one moment.
So there we were last night enjoying supper with some friends on our deck overlooking God’s splendor.
And I was aware of wanting them to be impressed with how well I cooked as well as how smart, hardworking, well-read and fit I was. And at the same time, I knew that to drop hints of my fake-veiled glory was to steal glory form the One who alone deserves to be magnified – Jesus Christ. I even prayed about my tendency ahead of time, knowing that it would far better to do otherwise. Admiring Jesus could be potentially life-giving to them and it certainly would satisfy me more deeply.
I think God allowed me to fall again into this sin and then have the opportunity in church today to repent and long to kill that instinct through His grace – aka HS power. These 2 verses describe the Maria I want to be:
Psalm 34 – 2 to 3
My life makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble and afflicted hear and be glad.
O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.
Reflections on God's Word 
Jun 22, 2014 @ 22:04:16
I may have sent you this awhile ago, but it seems to fit this conversation. My friend’s husband has esophageal cancer and here’s what he says: What empowers me more than anything else is the fact that if Christ is exalted in my body, whether in life or in death, then this will work out for my good and my deliverance and my salvation and even my healing, whether it’s on this planet or in eternity.
I hope that I can be truer to that desire, especially after the weekend I’ve just had in Pueblo. The Rocky Mountain Conference of the United Methodist Church has been in discussion with descendants of the Cheyenne and Arapaho members who were killed in the Sand Creek Massacre ordered by a Methodist army officer and a Methodist governor 150 years ago. Invited by the descendants to make a pilgrimage to the site on Friday, we were among more than 500 who walked the ridge from which the soldiers killed peaceable women, children and men. Hearing the stories of intergenerational trauma, and the resources of the tribal customs was quite moving. More than one speaker over the course of the weekend affirmed the Presence of God, not only in all the earth, but in all the events of our shared history. I had to miss the worship service this morning, which our Bishop promised would be the Mother of All Worship services…but the events of the weekend were imprinted in my heart.
Jun 23, 2014 @ 01:45:52
Truly important issues communicated by both your friend with cancer and these dear survivors of violence. thanks for sharing!
Jun 23, 2014 @ 00:22:29
Just trying to go 24 hours without self-aggrandizing is difficult. I’ll try it tomorrow and report back.
Jun 23, 2014 @ 01:51:30
Mary – Amen! Let me know how it goes. I totally agree. I frame EVERYTHING, by default, around me. Have to catch myself and then WANT to glorify Him.