Openers – how to fish

February 10, 2011

Maria Colossians, Witnessing , , Leave a comment

« ……Always be prepared….. »   a fragment of 1 Pet 3 :15

My fear is that I miss opportunities to witness.

“How are you?” comes the greeting from a colleague at school, or the butcher at Kroger, or the owner of two dogs I pass every morning at 5:45.  And nothing God-exalting leaves my mouth.

“Let all who love His salvation ALWAYS say, ‘the Lord be exalted!  Great is the Lord’”   Psalm 40 is convicting.  I do love his salvation…but my mouth freezes when I ponder what to say.  There’s never enough time. (Hint – that’s why Peter counsels us to be like a boy scout)

Don’t think that I don’t TRY to have something at hand.  Often I make an attempt to concoct catchy openings.  Sunday morning I was out walking, rehearsing my memory verses (Psalm 40). Steve and beagle approached.  Banally I intoned, “Cold this morning, isn’t it” – not really a question, just a passing comment.  Blew it again!  How lame can one get!  My continued promenade out I struggled to come up with something that would test the waters – in 3 seconds.  I wanted something that I could say to Steve when our paths crossed on our respective return trips. “So, where do you & your wife worship Jesus on Sundays?”  (too long and pointed).  Nothing seemed natural.  Another complication was that it was Super Bowl Sunday.  (“Say, Steve, who do you think God is rooting for in today’s big game?” )    Fortunately Steve had already turned into his neighborhood and wasn’t subjected to my bungling attempts.  But there is next time.

This morning I was drawn back to one of my favorite OT words “esher/asher”.  Yes, it’s the name of one of Jacob’s sons.  It means blessed, happy, literally –  blissful.  As you can imagine, it is used OFTEN in the OT and also in the NT.

What a great adjective!  I could substitute THAT for ‘fine’ when someone inquires about my well-being.  “Hi Maria, how are you?  – my short response – “Blissful, and you?” With one word, I could ‘fish’.  If this particular fish were enticed by that kind of bait, then a God-exalting conversation might ensue.  If the fish was not into godly bliss, than nothing lost.  He/she would just think I’m a bit weird in my choice of words.

I should not FEEL anxious about fishing.  After all, catching fish for Christ is not our task.  We are called to be ‘fishers of men’.  Offer the Gospel (in parts or whole) and then trust God for the results, the ‘catch’.  But we do have to do our part.  Fish don’t just jump into the boat.

This theme of winsome, strategic conversation is a Biblical theme.    In another passage Paul counsels the Colossians and us to “be wise in the way (we) act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity….(our) conversation (should) be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that (we) may know how to answer everyone.”  Col 4:5-7

Please pray that I may REMEMBER and OBEY God in this first step of fulfilling the Great Commission day by day.

An Experience in Sharing the Gospel

June 14, 2010

Maria Gospel, Reflections, Uncategorized, Wisdom , , , , Leave a comment

Colossians 4:5-6 Be wise in the way you act with outsiders, make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer everyone.

I clobbered my mother-in-law with doctrine.  I wrote her a letter outlining my concerns about her spiritual life.  I shared some basics about sin, repentance, the Good News of what Jesus has done for us and how to grow in the love & knowledge of God.  But I overwhelmed her with my intensity. And I have irrevocably moved our relationship into a new territory where neither of us knows how to maneuver.  All of this – 2 weeks before our youngest son’s wedding when family will gather.

My mother-in-law is 81.  She grew up in the Catholic Church, switched to the Episcopal Church in college, met & married a seminarian and shared the life of an Episcopal priest & bishop for almost 59 years.   Thus has the Episcopal Church been the center of her life.

My concerns for the state of her soul were cumulative over many years as my husband and I were graciously drawn out of the kingdom of darkness and transferred into the kingdom of light.  Looking back on our past, Mike & I recall how we truly THOUGHT we were Christians all the years we were faithful church-goers and served in different ministries.  Indignation and denial most likely would have been our reaction had someone confronted us with the state of our souls.  So I understand how it must seem puzzling to someone living a ‘religious’ life, that it might be possible not even to belong to Christ.  “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.”  Matt 7:21

As we discovered truth and life, we wanted to share this joy and the assurance of salvation with those closest to us.  My mother was a believer, yet died before I was regenerated.  I failed to share the Gospel with my father.  I tried, but was not equipped and backed off many times when he didn’t want to talk.  Out of that experience, my husband and I approached his parents.  Our concerns for their spiritual well-being intensified over the past months as my father-in-law was dying.  We prayed for opportunities to have authentic discussions about the reality of Christian hope.  But we could do no more than skirt the periphery of religiosity.

I don’t understand people’s boundaries.  To my discredit, it is very difficult to imagine or empathize, and therefore yield to limits and walls friends and family erect to protect emotions or comfortable routines of looking at life.  (Why wouldn’t you want to talk about the most important topic in life? – your future after you die?  Don’t you want to know if what you have staked your life on is valid?  Don’t you want to even know WHAT it is you believe?) My grown children and husband consider me intense.  But I can’t see that:  I am what I am.  Is a fish aware that he breathes in through gills?

So returning from my father-in-law’s funeral I wrote my mother-in-law THE letter and launched her on a roller-coaster of emotions of anger, shame, indignation and horror.

Here is what I have learned from this experience:

(1)   – Patience is not something I practice naturally, so just as a pilot must intentionally crab into a wind to keep her flight path straight, so must I wait longer than I think is necessary.  I composed THE letter on a Friday and sent it to two people whose opinion I value.  I received a green light from one, but did not wait long enough to hear back from the other person before mailing it off.  She replied 3 ½ days later and suggested restraint.  But I had already mailed off the letter. To my ‘partial credit’ I had slept on it and prayerfully revised it over a 3-day period.  Yet I should have waited for this second person’s wisdom, since I had explicitly asked for it.

(2)   Offhand remarks I wrote that were not even my main point were received poorly.  This really surprised me.  I should have considered every sentence.  When I closed the letter to my dear mother-in-law with the reassurance that her grandsons would be praying along with me for her, I thought that would encourage her.  Instead she was horrified that I had shared something ‘negative’ and had ‘misrepresented her’ to the boys.  I never would have anticipated that reaction.

(3)   Less is more.  I dumped TOO much on her (14 pagesL).  The quantity had two negative effects: a) she missed some important parts because it was too much to take in all at once and b) she felt bludgeoned by the sheer amount of what I wrote.

I failed to SEASON my written conversation with her; I just dumped out the whole blue container of Morton’s iodized salt.

So, I am trusting God now to work my blundering efforts for her good and for mine.  I am praying that we can sort out a way of relating that is safe and comfortable for her when she arrives next week for the wedding.  I am sorry that she will feel self-conscious around her grandsons and us.  That was not my intention.  But I don’t regret that I initiated the discussion.  I could never have said some of what I wrote face to face.  I will continue to share the Gospel with others when appropriate and will trust the Holy Spirit to let me know His timing and the proper words.

Reflections on the state of Dad’s soul

June 6, 2010

Maria Philippians, Reflections , , , Leave a comment

Philippians 1:6 – being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus

We’re back from the funeral for Mike’s dad who died after a yearlong journey with cancer.  He was a retired Episcopal bishop living in Seattle, an Episcopalian all his life.  We, too, were brought up in the Episcopal Church.  But once my husband, I and our two sons started to grow in the knowledge of the Word about 10 years ago, (being transformed by the renewing of our minds à la Romans 12:2), we left the Episcopal church at different rates. Graham (age 27) & Wes (age 22) exited with no regrets once they moved on to college. Mike and I took a slower route, transferring first to a more orthodox-believing Episcopal Church and then finally altogether out of TEC (the Episcopal Church) in April 2009.  We now worship with all our minds and hearts, at home in a Reformed PCA community (Presbyterian Church of America). Our boys are not affiliated with any denomination, their only criterion being – does the church preach the Bible?

When Dad died we all hoped he was a believer.  He was the kind of man who didn’t seem to want to talk about his faith beyond the superficial.  Knowing that he was dying, I flew out in April during my spring break.  I prayed that I would have an opportunity to share about the Hope that awaits us.  He had to go the hospital during my 4–day visit, so we didn’t get to talk much.  I did ask my mother-in-law if she and Dad shared much about heaven.  Sadly to me, she said that they had talked only about funeral details and that she wasn’t going to bring up weightier issues if he didn’t.

When I left Dad in the hospital, parting for what I knew would be the last time on this earth, he seemed sweetly serious.  I told him I would see him again, either here in Seattle or in heaven.  He understood and affirmed the same.

Graham and his family were the next to fly out to Seattle. I thought, if ANYone can share the Gospel and be sure they were saved or at least sure that they heard the Word of God in all its fullness, then Graham could.  He is a worship leader with a student ministry down at the University of South Florida in Tampa.  But he, too, encountered pushback from his grandparents, the reaction of a couple who didn’t want to engage in something out of their comfort zone.

Then Mike flew out the first week of May to visit his dad, arriving about 10 hours before Dad actually died.  Mike took his Bible and read a few chapters out loud from Romans and from the Gospel of Mark.  Dad was mostly in and out of consciousness, but Mike’s mom was beside his bed and alertly engaged in a discussion about the Gospel.  She apparently doesn’t believe in a God of wrath – only the God of love in the New Testament.  At least we know where she stands.

The funeral was delayed 3 weeks to give us time to celebrate with Wes the end of his four years at West Point.  Mike, Wes, Graham & I flew back out to Seattle over Memorial Day weekend.  We had a lot of time to pray and to seek closure about where Dad actually is – in the presence of God or not.

The service, in its typical Episcopal liturgical style, was full of words that were very biblically sounding.  Unfortunately, many Episcopalians are ignorant of their original meaning due to the pernicious liberal movement in church scholarship, dating back to the end of the 19th century.  The church is focused NOT on the good news of God’s provision for our most serious problem- that we are saved from His justifiable wrath by Jesus dying for our sins.  Instead today’s Episcopal Church preaches the gospel of social justice. Furthermore, political peace and environmentalism are seen as pressing problems for the Church to address.

Yet, I came away from the funeral with hope for the man who had been my father-in-law for 30 years. Although we never had a serious discussion about the Bible or about God, I do think he was a believer.  But the state of his eternal soul was NOT helped by a church which continually re-interpreted its own doctrine, a set of beliefs that he had pledged to support first as a young deacon in 1951, then as a fully-ordained  priest,  and finally as a consecrated bishop in 1976.  Yet almost despite the Episcopal Church, he had sucked out basic truths from the Bible.  I saw this in the detailed instructions he left for his funeral, setting the tone with a theme that was centered on the Resurrection.  The scripture readings in particular were chosen to point all of us to the truth of life with Jesus after death.

I thank the Lord for His assurance that my father-in-law is in heaven.  Since our God is one who does more than we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20) I am praying that not only does my mother-in-law come to a saving faith, but my brother-in-law too and many who were in that gathering of 500 in Seattle.  The words my brother-in-law delivered in the eulogy were Gospel truth.  He labored over them as an act of love, a gift to his father.  Since God’s word is alive and full of power, I am hopeful that these words of truth will not return void to the Lord, but will actually convert Steve.  After all, faith comes from hearing the word of Christ.  I’ve read of an English preacher who became converted while delivering one of his own sermons he was preaching.  I am counting on God to do the same for Steve.  May many others present in that service also come to a saving faith in the Lord.

Words & Doctrine Matter!

May 12, 2010

Maria Gospel, John, Uncategorized , , , Leave a comment

As he was saying these things, many believed in him. So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:30-32

Words matter.  Many words are equivocal, they mean different things.  So two people can converse and think they are communicating when they really are not.  And if words matter, then content matters.

I had a conversation with someone close to me recently who has grown up in the church and uses all the right language but is not saved because of two problems.  Of course the main reason she is still not born again is that the Holy Spirit has yet to ‘quicken’ her.   The other problem is that she has words, but not the correct content. She would maintain that she believes in Jesus, that He is the Son of God and that He died for our sins.  But she doesn’t believe she is a sinner who has God’s wrath bearing down on her.  She believes that the idea of a wrathful God (‘the one portrayed in the Old Testament’) comes from a primitive people’s understanding of God.  The god she likes is the god of the New Testament, namely Jesus, and He is a god of love.

Let’s return to our verse in John.  Jesus says that if we are to know the Truth, then we have to abide in His word. Therefore, it is important to know the content of the word we are abiding in. If the word is a doctrine, then we need to know the exact meaning of words that explain that doctrine.  If the word is a person, i.e. the Logos/2nd person of the Trinity, then we need to agree on the character of that Logos.  We can’t just make up what we think the words mean, whether they refer to doctrine or a person.

So this dear woman is still locked up in her sins, not yet set free by the Truth.

Pray with me that I can clearly and persuasively argue three points:

a)   God’s plan for redemption is one story throughout both testaments. Furthermore, this overarching mega-story begins early in the Old Testament, when Adam & Eve fall and God provide animal skins to cover their nakedness.  Not much later, God’s rescue plan is reinforced with a hint of Christ’s sacrifice to come when a substitute animal is caught in a nearby bush.  Finally, Moses is instructed to set up and teach the people to observe an elaborate sacrificial system pointing to Jesus, with the offering of animals and the transferring of sins on the scapegoat

b)   Our God is one God with many attributes.  God’s loving-kindness (chesed) in the Old Testament is as well known as His hatred for sin.  Jesus’ love in the New Testament is as prominent as his discussion about Hell.  God does not change

c)    Finally, what one must do to be saved?  Being baptized and attending services does not make one a Christian.   I want to carefully lay out the plan of salvation and not assume this woman understands what terms mean.

I’m thankful that the results lie in God’s hands.  I’m to do my part and trust Him for the rest.  May I faithfully represent the truth without pride or condemnation, but with humility and love.

Thought Control – or Double your Joy

January 7, 2010

Maria Peace, Reflections , , 2 Comments

Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice..  (Phil 4:4)

Bless the Lord, O my soul, Bless His holy name.  Bless the Lord O my soul and forget not all his benefits. (Ps 103:1-2)

If you live in me and my words remain in you….. (John 15:7)

Go to bed bummed, wake up bummed.  My fight is with my thoughts.  They are the material units that make up my moods.  If I am feeling out of sorts or down, I can usually trace it back to specific thoughts.

Notice how God has us figured out.  His antidote to our moods is to double and triple our thoughts about what is good – God.   He exhorts us “Lift your countenance and thoughts up towards Me – think about what is true and good and noble and pure and excellent.”    It really is a choice.

The other morning, I woke up feeling out of sorts.  I had been reading Psalm 103 the night before.  I recognized right away as soon as I padded into the bathroom that I DID have a choice.  So I prayed, “Lord, help me to bless you right now instead of muse about why I might be feeling bad.” It wasn’t that difficult to make the switch.

Later on my morning walk, I started cataloguing WHAT exactly was on my mind.  Some of my ‘worry thoughts’  had to do with me wanting  people in my life to live their lives the way I, MARIA, thought best.  I was struck with the presumptuousness of that mindset.  What a waste of emotional energy.  Isn’t it enough that I live MY life the way I sense God is directing me?   And there is plenty of work to do to order rightly my thoughts.

I read recently that for every thought about ourselves, we should look up and direct 10 heavenward.  I don’t know if I can do that, but my life would really be different if I just managed to dwell on God AS much as I dwell upon MARIA.  After all, God doesn’t promise that I’ll bear fruit if my thoughts abide in me, but only if I dwell in Him and His words and thoughts live in me.  Fruit # 3 is peace – the opposite of waking up ‘bummed’.

Coincidentally, in my teacher training, I have heard that it takes 10 positive strokes/kind interchanges/praises directed toward a student to equalize or cancel one humiliating/negative comment leveled at him.  If that is true of interaction between folks, then perhaps it also applies in our inner conversations.  Is it any wonder that some of us are so depressed, given how we talk to ourselves?

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