….be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 ESV

My mother-in-law is quickly losing some of her most coveted abilities that have brought her contentment throughout life. Over the past 7-8 years, she has declined slowly, a normal reality for those who live a long time. But losses started accelerating about 4 months ago. 

No longer can she read novels, not even large-print.  She strains to read emails, even with words enlarged in her account. She can’t see people’s faces clearly. Her fingers won’t allow her to participate in the organized craft projects. Her energy is low, her breathing shallower, her voice has become small and she tires rapidly pushing her walker to the dining room of her residence.

Her days loom long, empty of former pleasures. This life-long learner now dozes off a lot, even in the bathroom.

Looking at the positive, she has not lost her ability to be kind and appreciative of the help she does receive, from the helpers who assist her in the morning and evening, from her son and his wife who live nearby, from her excellent primary care physician and for my and Mike’s daily connection with her by phone.

Yet, watching her decline causes me to examine my life. Unless my numbered days in God’s book of life are less, I DO aspire to reach 95 one day. But I hope I am NOW preparing correctly for that stage.  Spiritually, that is.

Yes, Mom is a believer. A basic, baby believer, I would say. Thanks be to God that over the past 10 years she has been slowly growing through some bible study. She even began to read her bible for herself.  But for decades because of her formal catholic upbringing and religious way of worshipping in the Episcopal church her relationship with Jesus has not been intimate, personal.

As a result, when we talk, there is no mention of Jesus unless I bring him into our conversation.  Instead, she unloads all her woes. And I get that. She NEEDS someone safe who will listen and empathize and try to soothe her in her suffering and decline.

Yet……yet, I don’t see evidence of how knowing Christ, how being in union with him, makes a difference in her daily life.  Where is the comfort, that awareness of his constant presence, the looks upward to what awaits her? How much does she consider the reality of the next and far better life?

This close-up walk with Mom, even if mostly via the phone, punctuated by occasional visits, has me doing some self-assessment.

I mentioned the need for us to prepare well for our final stage, whether it suddenly arrives and is short or progressive and drawn out. Without a doubt, I certainly prioritize the necessary physical readiness such as a lot of body movement, good eating, sufficient sleep and stress management.  But what about my spiritual readiness? 

Don’t we Christians need to practice contentment with Jesus RIGHT now?  If you and I just look around at our friends and their struggles and if we are real about our problems, God is offering lots of practice opportunities. Just consider the natural losses, problems and afflictions that he sovereignly permits on a daily basis.  How do we handle those?  Do we complain and feed the belief that ‘life will be better, once THIS changes, or is resolved, or arrives’? Or, do we receive whatever he allows to disrupt us as ‘homework practice’, meant to strengthen our faith and grow our ultimate satisfaction that come from knowing God intimately through our dependence on him.

My prayer is that THIS day, with whatever God brings my way, I can accept ‘it’ with a different attitude. One that can conclude:

Yes, This hurts! I don’t like it. But Jesus is enough.  I know he loves me, that his plans for me are all good and that one day very soon, I will see him face to face and experience first-hand what the bible means by fullness of joy.  

Just as muscle strength, flexibility and cardio endurance come through practice, so can our ability to rejoice in the Lord always improve.