Suffering – a daily reality

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“Expect suffering every day”   – so says Tullian Tchividjian in his book Glorious Ruin – How Suffering Makes You Free.

Just that concept, that suffering is part of daily life, is liberating.   I have spent too much energy trying to ward off suffering, rather than relaxing in the knowledge that Jesus is with me in my daily trials.

Maybe you share some of these false ideas that I have entertained:

  • if my suffering isn’t as bad as starving children, persecuted Christians, languishing prisoners, tsunami-victims, cancer patients, then it doesn’t count
  • if I pray effectively enough, I can block or mitigate the suffering in the lives of those whom I love
  • suffering is to be avoided
  • if I’m suffering, then God is either absent, doesn’t care, can’t do anything or  just is not good

As I have written before, I wouldn’t have chosen or planned ANY of the suffering in my life, but I do see the blessings that have come to me from

  • eating disorders
  • anxiety issues
  • marriage problems
  • money crises
  • perplexing parenting decisions and situations
  • fears of POOR parenting
  • inadequacies I have seen and still see in myself
  • consequences of bad decisions
  • relational pain that I have caused friends and family members because of my sin
  • spiritual ups & downs
  • being fired once
  • receiving a poor performance review at a former school
  • pets and parents who have aged and died
  • lost dreams

And so now, in the present moment, as I currently suffer with

  • a dying cat
  • a rough start in a new school
  • a tighter budget
  • doubts about my abilities in all my roles with others

…….I remind myself that just as there were past blessings that flourished in the soil of suffering,  God has good (what the Hebrews call TOV) planned for me that will be revealed in the current pain.  Therefore,  I strengthen myself in the Lord with His promises of present help and future grace.  Here are just 4 of many, many great proclamations from our loving and all-wise Father:

  • Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10) 
  • No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11b) 
  • Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1: 2-4)
  • Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of _______(whatever the circumstance) _______ for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deut 31:6)

What promises of God are YOU clinging to?

Wrong kind of guilt

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Romans 12:6-8   We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Familiar scenario – compare yourself to someone else and……voilà!

I was feeling guilty again, like I SHOULD be doing what this other sister-in-Christ ENERGETICALLY and capably does with her über-confidence.  She had laid out a convincing argument that you could not consider yourself a Christian UNLESS you showed your love for God by seeking out ‘neighbors’ whom you could bless with a type of pay-it-forward gift.  I was feeling convicted and selfish and burdened all at the same time.  I saved her blog post and her ‘modus operandi/ MO’ for this kind of gifting so that I could reflect prayerfully about what she had written before adding it to my TO DO list.

I’m glad I did.

What bubbled up to the surface of my conscious mind over the next 2 days was this:

  • Doing kind things intentionally for the poor does not excite me
  • Big hospitality as outreach isn’t something I find joy in doing
  • I enjoy & seek openings to bring up Jesus and eternal matters with everyone I meet
  • I read and study to understand doctrine and reasons why Christianity is true and credible
  • I find pleasure in articulating and honing  what  I learn with like-minded Christians
  • I like praying for others
  • God calls us with very general commands to love Him and our neighbor
  • God calls us with very specific commands to care for the widow/orphan in the body, to pray and encourage each other in the body, to share the gospel and disciple nations, to give financially for the support of the Church and to have an answer ready to explain the reason for our faith when asked (to name just a few)
  • Christians are blessed with at least one specific gift to support the body of Christ

So I concluded:

  • I do NOT need to add more to my To-Do list by seeking out strangers to bless
  • However, when I encounter anyone in my path whom I can help, I should
  • I have God’s blessing to exercise my gifts in HIS power and grace with joy and thanksgiving

Finally, here is the subtler lesson I gleaned – it is wrong for me to look down on a sister or brother who doesn’t share the same passion/gifting that I do.  Likewise, I need to remember that what ‘comes naturally to me is actually from God, to be used faithfully and gratefully for His glory and the advancement of His kingdom. There is no reason to boast or to criticize.

Thank you, Father, for loving me with patience!

Reflections on unplugging and prayer

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I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a little sin, what my husband used to dismiss as ‘little ole- lady sins’.  His former scoffing about gossip and ‘bad thoughts’ demonstrated the very common dualistic view of sin that society holds.  It goes like this:

What I do is just human and little and easy to overlook, but what the Hitlers and child molesters and ‘greedy capitalists’ do is serious and unpardonable!

That division acutely reveals our cavalier attitude toward our sin and our low regard for God.  Little do we realize that all sin is the sin of unbelief.  All sin attacks and affronts the God of the universe’s sovereignty, holiness and goodness.

Likewise, there is no such thing as a ‘throw away or little prayer’. As Mike and I are unplugging and saying goodbye to friends after 23 ½ years in the Hampton Roads region of Virginia, God is allowing me to see the fruit of some of my prayers.

I have two categories of prayers:  The first involves those conditions & situations which are desperate or needs of friends and family most precious to my heart. For those prayers, I pound on God’s doors like the imprecatory widow unceasingly begging the unjust judge for mercy and justice.  The second group of prayers relate to people more peripheral to my life.  I encounter this group less frequently and consequently much time passes before I can update prayer-need statuses.

We are all relieved when God mercifully grants one of those ‘biggie’ prayers.  But if you are like me, I am often surprised by the results from my ‘little’, less frequent prayers.  Those are the ones that are written down, but I probably cycle through praying for them maybe once every 3 weeks.  (the easiest way Mike and I have found to track all prayer is with Prayer Mate – see link here for details  iTunes app )

In the space of one week, God has gifted me with news of 3 of those latter cases – people whom I see maybe once a month if even that.  I’ve tracked their lives over the years and have been praying for ‘impossible’ situations that God has now unraveled miraculously.

# 1 – My hairdresser’s daughter has been abusing her body with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and sex. There was NO relationship between mother and adult daughter despite years of mom’s rescues.  But ‘miraculously’ through the kind intervention of a truly caring boyfriend who alerted the mom, healing has come to this young 25-yr-old gal.   She enrolled in a residential de-tox facility for a month and has been ‘clean’ for 60 days.  My friend feels like she has her daughter back. She knows that there are no guarantees, but she is very encouraged and sees this as the marvelous blessing from God that it is.  I’ve been praying for this daughter for 4 years!  So why was I so surprised when God actually answered that prayer?

#2 – A grocery-store cashier who lives in my neighborhood had a husband whose body was wearing out through the abuse of no exercise, no job, poor eating and resentment.  When I asked her how her marriage was going (this gal fumed steadily at the toxic lifestyle of her husband), she responded with the good news that he had lost 20 pounds and was making better food choices.  As a result his attitude and HER attitude had both improved. Again, I almost couldn’t believe it!

#3 – Three days later, I ran into a widow whose grandson in the Navy had been OUT of contact with the family for 2 ½ years.  Each time I would see this fellow walker, I almost hated to ask about the young man for whom I had been praying.   The family had even hired a private investigator to verify that he was still living! When I stopped to catch up and say good bye to Pat, she told me that her grandson was home!  He had apparently called up his dad (Pat’s son) out of the blue, asking for money for a bus ticket.  He was now living with his dad and looking for a job.  He seemed to be ‘normal’ according to my friend, although he hadn’t shared why he had withdrawn from his family.  She did offer that it might be related to PTSD from his time in Iraq.

Drawing away from Pat and continuing to walk the ‘loop’ in my neighborhood, I daubed my eyes as tears flowed over the goodness of God.  He had allowed me to see the fruit of some of these ‘half-hearted/ almost unbelieving’ prayers.  These petitions, although faithful, certainly were not of the ‘robust’ caliber.  But it was a good reminder to pray on, without ceasing, not depending on the strength or fervency of my prayer life, but depending on Him who WANTS to answer our prayers.

Do you remember when your children started to walk?  How you praised them for each tentative step they made.  Perfect balance wasn’t your standard.  You cheered on every feeble attempt to move independently.  In the same way our Heavenly Father boasts of our less-than-perfect prayer life.  He says to the Son and the Spirit, “Look at how my daughter is counting on me to intervene in the life of her friend!” He marvels, “Look at the confidence my son is placing in me to bring peace into his chaotic situation!”

So as Mike and I complete our final days here in Newport News, Virginia, we are encouraged to continue to pray for new friends we meet in Western North Carolina.  Lord, remind us & grant us the desire and impulse to greet You each morning, ‘Rejoicing always, praying continuously and giving thanks to You in all things’.

 

Prayers, Fears and Promises

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“Bzzzzz,” vibrated my phone in the middle of Senior Theses presentations last night. A student was defending her claim about the on-going effects of the French Revolution, when I glanced over to see the name of the Middle School principal who interviewed me 6 weeks ago in Asheville, NC.  However, since I was one of 2 judges, I couldn’t satisfy my curiosity at that moment.

By the time I WAS free; the civilized deadline for calling future bosses had come and gone.  But patience has its rewards and the news was good this morning.  I got the job!  So thank you for your prayers. I will be teaching French to Middle-Schoolers in the fall.

Now don’t you feel encouraged? – You, the Church?  I know that when I have prayed persistently and over a long period of time, my faith is strengthened upon learning how God has met the need of a brother or sister.  Answered prayer makes me want to pray all the more!  My unbelief is diminished and light expands to push back the dark corners of doubt.

On a side note, God DOES  have a sense of humor.  In our private prayers about this job, Mike and I had specifically asked God to provide me with a French job with a salary range of between X and Y.  And the offer was X!  (not a penny over).  I think Mike was a bit disappointed at first.  Who doesn’t hope for more?  But I can picture God smiling, having arranged the sure way to keep our hope in HIM, the owner and provider of ALL our resources, and not in cash flow.

Despite this great news, I confess that I still struggle with fears and what ifs.

I know – you’re surprised!

You’d think that with this answered prayer, coming on the heels of  last week’s offer on our current house (thank you, Father!), I’d not fear or worry about anything!

It’s true – I have to daily engage in the uphill hand- to- hand combat for faith.  My French 4 girls and I have been translating a list of 10 Truths/Reminders about God.  A young American pastor, Matt Reagan, compiled them in college when he realized that each morning he woke up having forgotten about God.

Demonic alchemy happens in the night and faith evaporates when that alarm goes off.  We have to RE-MEMBER / RE-CONSTRUCT our faith-foundation all over again.   It’s like putting on one’s defensive knight’s armor, piece by piece to engage the day.

Hence, my daily pondering of which promises/ truths encourage me the most:   When the dark clouds of fear start rolling in, I push back firmly with the brilliant rays of God’s truths.  Here are just 3 of those dailies:

·         No good thing does God withhold from those whose way is upright (Ps 84:11)

·         The Lord is with me, I will not fear; what can man do to me? (Psalm 118:6)

·         God works all things for my good because I have been called by Him and I love Him (Romans 8:32)  

 Join with me and let’s undertake this challenge together:  think about what daily spiritual vitamins protect you, feed you, strengthen you, empower you and share them.  Let’s not be anemic, starving Christians, for want of the power available in God’s word.

For the word of God is alive and full of power.

PS: The French translate Jesus/the Logos in John 1 as ‘the verb’.  Can’t you just picture active, coursing super-natural power? 

A door is opening

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Thank you for your prayers!

A door is opening.  I have been blessed with an upcoming interview for a French-teaching job in a middle school in Asheville.  Mike and I will drive down on Tuesday, 19 March and I will spend the next day, the 20th, visiting, interviewing and teaching a French lesson.

How am I keeping my stomach from the nervous butterflies?  By focusing my mind on God’s promise in Psalm 84: 11

The Lord is a sun and a shield; He gives grace & glory.  No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is upright.

  • Sun –He gives me light, energy, direction, growth
  • Shield – Jesus, the anointed one is my shield.  Without His covering, my sin would not let me be in God’s holy presence
  • Grace – I get God’s undeserved favor in unlimited ways
  • Glory – as a new creation ever since I ‘died’ in Feb 1987, was rescued by Jesus and transferred into the Kingdom of Light, I possess an inheritance and am looking forward to reveling in God’s glory as one of Jesus’ sisters.
  • (Skip over ‘good things’ for a moment)
  • Upright – because my trust is in Jesus’ wedding garment, I am free to stand up straight and look into God’s face. Each time I look down at myself or at my circumstances, I lose life-energy-joy. ‘Keeping the faith’ each day is a moment-by-moment re-orientation to what is true and right thinking.  I am only upright (blameless as another translation puts it) since I am unified with Christ.

Back to ‘good things’:   If this teaching job turns out to be a ‘good thing’ for me, according to God, then I will get the job.  He alone knows and sees all events.  If I don’t get this job, then I can know for certain, it was not a ‘good thing’.

What I’m going to say next might surprise you.  I first read Psalm 84:11 in the autobiography of George Müller.  This 19th century English pastor and hero of faith prayed this verse as his first wife lay dying.  And she died.  He took comfort in God’s promise that NO GOOD THING does He withhold from His people.

And George Müller was able to carry on with his children, his ministry and life.  He eventually married a second godly woman and was able to look back and see God’s hand, providentially guiding all circumstances.

Please continue to pray that I may represent myself and my abilities accurately, so that Carolina Day School can make the right decision for them.  I trust ‘my blessed Controller’ to continue His process of guiding me in this adventure.

By the way – We still need a buyer for our house!  But God has that under His happy control, too!    

Reflections on waiting

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This waiting thing – we’re in the thick of it!

  • Waiting for the house to sell
  • Waiting to get a teaching job in NC
  • Waiting for Mike’s first paying client
  • Waiting for Wes to return from Afghanistan

Not that waiting isn’t part of others’ lives, too:

  • Our brother and sister-in-law are waiting for her immigration paperwork to come through.
  • Friends are waiting for babies – to be born and to be adopted
  • Many sisters & brothers in Christ are waiting for loved ones to be brought into God’s forever family
  • Other friends are waiting for healing and pain to subside
  • A friend is waiting for her husband finally to receive the career recognition he deserves and longs for
  • Another friend is waiting for debt to be paid off so she can marry

I realized something last night that shifted my view of how God is working.  I’m a lot more relaxed this time around selling a house.  The first time was when we were 27 years old.  Mike had moved out to Monterey, Graham was a baby and we were desperate to sell a house in Arizona.  DES-PER-ATE.  I bugged the real estate agent every day.  God was gracious and brought a buyer in 3 months, despite my total lack of faith.

The last time we sold a house, I had started growing spiritually through the means of Bible Study Fellowship, but was living functionally still as an atheist.  I was 42 this time around.  As I fretted internally, worrying about 30 times a day, “What if…..!!!!”  (at least I didn’t phone our realtor every day!), God brought welcome relief in the form of a verse.  We had studied Genesis the previous year in BSF and all of a sudden I recalled the promise God made to Abraham when the old man, like me, was fearful, tired & discouraged.

Gen 15:1 Fear not Abram, I am your shield and your very great reward!

All of a sudden, my behavior switched.  I consciously chose to sub in that very promise from God each and every time I caught myself falling into worry and fear.  I would literally shake my head and actually stand up to that worry/fear thought:

NO!  then I would say to the Lord…

God, YOU are my shield and my very great reward, therefore, I will not fear.

Instead of playing the worry movie 20 – 30 times in a day, I affirmed God’s Word over and over again.  A month later, God brought the buyer.

Now I’m 55 and we’re selling our 3rd house.  My goal is to offer my waiting to God as worship.  I want to PLEASE my Father by demonstrating that I trust him.  As Graham reminded me yesterday in a phone call, ‘We have a rich and powerful Father, so we can relax’.

The realization that struck me last night came in reflecting about how we came to find the house that we are going to purchase in North Carolina, God-willing.  From Thanksgiving through mid January, we had been ‘studying’ available houses, making a list of features, comparing them in Excel (a side benefit that comes from being married to an analytical husband!) all in preparation for a house-visiting trip last month.  Our goal was to make an offer on a house over that January weekend since Waynesville is 8 hours away by car from Newport News.

We arrived on Saturday at the real estate agent’s office and in addition to the list of houses we had planned to visit; she added one that had ‘just popped up’,  being listed 2 days earlier on the Thursday.  It wasn’t part of our ‘careful study’.

And as you might guess, that is the house we have chosen.

Do you see what I realized last night?  At just the RIGHT time, God brought ‘our house’ to us, not dependent on our analysis and searching.

If I extrapolate, at just the RIGHT time, God will bring:

The buyer for our current house…….The job offer for me……etc

Yes, our efforts are important – But God doesn’t want frenzied, desperate efforts.  Reasonable next steps/actions that come from a deep, relaxed and confident dependence on God are the kind that honor our Father.

Lord, thank you for Christ:  my Anchor, my Blissful Rock, my Big Brother, my Champion and Author and Finisher of the faith implanted in me.  Give me the humility to keep casting these cares back on You, because I KNOW You love us and have our best interests at heart.

God meets our needs very creatively!

“My faith is SO puny…” and other nonsensical remarks

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Which of the two situations described below make you doubt the sufficiency of your faith?

– a BIG need that looms large and feels almost impossible?

0r

-seeing someone else set ALL their hope and trust on God?

**

I read a Ben Franklin quote the other day, “He that lives upon hope will die fasting.”

I think THAT sentiment sums up most folks’ view of hope.

But does Franklin’s hope refer to the Christian hope? -The hope that is an anchor to our soul, firm and secure, i.e. CHRIST?  (Hebrews 6:19)

Not at all.  Ben Franklin is talking about the kind of hope that is wishful thinking, the kind we all employ when we say, “I hope it doesn’t rain for the picnic!”

Christian hope is a different concept – it’s a firm assurance, expectation, and guarantee.  And you know what else; it does NOT find its origin in us!!!!  That actually is a relief.

You ask, “Maria, you mean I don’t have to gin up my slacking, weak faith? “

No!!!! – because it’s not YOUR faith to begin with.  If you are a Christian, then you have had the faith of Christ implanted in you.  So the REAL question is…….

Are you a true, authentic Christian?  Here’s the test:

  • Do you actually believe who Jesus the Christ says He is? – the Son of God who alone is the way to the Father, who alone is sufficient to have his payment for your sins count for you, who alone is sufficient to have his perfectly lived life count for you?
  • And do you desire, in some measure, to rely on Him FOR standing in your stead at the Executioner’s Block, to rely on Him FOR having earned ALL the righteous credit you’ll ever need to please God?

If you can say YES to the above, then that is proof that this alien/foreign/other faith is from outside of you.  The content next to the above 2 bullet points is NOT obvious, not gleanable from nature or from the world.  You had to have HEARD that information and there had to have been a spot created in your heart/mind to accept and receive that info as the most amazingly good news and way to have peace with God and be FREEEEEEEEED of your guilt.

Be assured: if you are Christian, then the faith you have been given is ENOUGH.

*

Mike and I are so thankful and grateful to have this opportunity to trust God for some big things in our own personal lives.

Most of the time our prayers are taken up for all those whom we love,  that is the needs of:

a)   family members

b)   friends

c)    co-workers and neighbors

d)   brothers and sisters in Christ

e)   and then those who are cared for by a/b/c/d

Now Mike and I get to watch, expect and wait for God to work in a big way in our very own personal circumstances.  We are SO excited.  We know our God as the One who does ABUNDANTLY more than we can ask or imagine.  He is the epitome of creativity.

God has already answered 1 of our big 5 – we found a house to buy on our one house-hunting trip to Waynesville, NC.

Now we are watching/expecting/waiting to see how He

  • Sells our current house in the time period set by the seller of the NC house
  • Provides me with a job at the income we have determined is sufficient
  • Brings paying clients to Mike as a business consultant
  • Leads us to our new church family

We feel blessed to have been given this opportunity to enjoy front-row seats and see what He will do.  And then many of you will rejoice with us and find new strength and desire to exercise the gift of faith and prayer given to you.

Pray on and watch for great things! 

Thoughts on Prayer

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Do we believe without a doubt? When we pray, do we believe that we will receive the things we ask for, not on a future day, but then and there? This is the teaching of this inspiring scripture. How we need to pray, “Lord, Increase our faith” (Luke 17:5) until doubt is gone, and absolute trust claims the promised blessings as its very own.

E M Bounds

I have never met a Christian who boasted in their prayer life.  To the man, everyone confesses weakness, fear and self-recrimination.  Universally, we seen pleasantly surprised when God does indeed answer prayer.  Why is prayer so hard?

Here are some thoughts that encourage my heart:

  • God wants us to pray.  Always.  In every situation. At all times.
  • God expects us to pray as little kids.  We don’t have to earn a PhD first.  In fact, there’s no such thing as a bad prayer.

How can I say this?  Surely we’ve prayed selfishly and wrongly….

Well, here are some examples of God answering ‘BAD’ prayers.

In Numbers 11, the recently-rescued Hebrews pine for food from their Egyptian captive days –

– vs 18 to 20 – “Tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The Lord heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it. 19 You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, 20 but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the Lord, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?

And even Job in the midst of complaining to God about how unfairly he has been treated longs for his accusations to be made into a permanent written record,

Chapter 19: 23-24 – Oh, that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll, that they were inscribed with an iron tool on lead, or engraved in rock forever!

How ironic is that!

At the bottom of our reluctance to pray, I think, is our fear of being disappointed.  If we pray and get our hopes up and God DOESN’T answer the way we have asked, then we will be even worse off.  We are afraid of being hurt even more.

And not without good reason! For we can all point to people who have NOT been rescued, healed, blessed.  My ‘go-to-example’ of that in scripture is Paul and his ‘thorn’.  And in this New Year, 2013, I think of Joni Eareckson Tada who is STILL paralyzed and in daily pain, 45 years after her diving accident.  Faithful people who have not received what they asked God for. What do we make of that?  Even Francis Chan shared in a talk that he prayed for his Buddhist grandmother to receive Christ before she died.  And to his knowledge she died, darkened and without hope.

I don’t know.  But what I DO know is that God DOES answer some of my prayers RIGHT AWAY.  And some prayers He answers after years of praying.  And some prayers He has not (yet) answered the way I have hoped. I can also point to those prayer requests He firmly turned down.

Here is where I have to bow, submit to and REST on some comforting truths:

  • God IS the definition of goodness
  • God LOVES me and has already done the very best for me by adopting me as his child and making me an heir to His Kingdom Riches F-O-R-E-V-E-R.   And THAT even before I knew what I was getting into!
  • God has chosen to WORK HIS WILL partially by the raw material of our prayers.  He invites, expects and even commands our participation.
  • I am growing as I learn about this Kingdom business of prayer, of talking to God.
  • I can’t get prayer wrong.
  • I don’t have to be good FIRST before praying.
  • I don’t have to have the right amount of faith first before God hears me.  He ALWAYS hears me.
  • I feel better when I pray.
  • I can always pray when I don’t know what else to do.
  • No prayer goes unheard.
  • God SPOKE the world into existence.
  • My words have more supernatural power than I know.
  • The spirit world hears my prayers and WITNESSES the impure faith that I do have and marvels at God’s response.
  • It’s not my faith anyway.  Any faith that I have has been given to me by God.
  • Answers to prayers are NOT dependent on me.  I do not need to fear that my faith will be inadequate or insufficient.
  • And finally, as EM Bounds encourages, I can and SHOULD ask for MORE faith.

What can YOU do to help ME grow in the confident practice of prayer?  Share what your prayers are and when and how God answers them. This kind of practicing gratitude also increases our awareness of God’s answers.

And remember, that God WANTS to answer our prayers..that is His default mode.  And every prayer that is answered brings glory and honor and praise to Him.  Take THAT, evil forces of darkness!

Acronyms and a Family Reunion – How I’m Praying

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I must be handicapped to some degree mentally.  For I have greatly benefitted from memory techniques to help me cope.  My favorite way of making up for poor memory, is to organize what is important to me in the form of an acronym or a silly rhyme.  Mike has a colleague and a boss who have nicknames inherited from their active-duty air force days.  One is named Box and the other Stick.  The only way I can remember who is who is to say to myself: “Stick is Mike’s boss, because STick STays at work late.”  The “st- trick” helps me when I need quickly to verbalize the correct name.

I’m just sharing a deficiencyL and one of my crutchesJ.

So in the effort to organize some wonderful attributes of God into a prayer for an upcoming family reunion, I used the first 2 initials of our two sons, my husband and myself.

Wes who is an Infantry lieutenant deploys to Afghanistan in about 6 weeks or so.  We have organized a family reunion for the 1st week of October.  We have a small family, but EVERYONE is coming.  The last time we were together was a year ago when Mike’s brother Steve married Eve in Toronto.  And now we are reuniting.  Life is fragile – who knows when we will all be together again.  So I’ve been praying.  First I prayed that Wes indeed would be granted the vacation days he had been ‘promised’ by the Army.  Then I prayed that Mike’s mom and his cousin Terry would be able to come. These prayers have been granted by our always-faithful heavenly Father.  Now I’m praying for a hurricane-free week, good health and safe travel.

But more importantly, I am praying for harmony. You know what YOUR family is like!  Old patterns that weren’t healthy ‘way back when’ resurface when family members are together for more than 24 hours.  These can include juvenile rivalries, un-forgiveness and assumptions that have fossilized even though they are no longer true.

There are also political and spiritual differences among family members.  Enough said.

Then there are expectations about how people should act.   My husband tells me that unmet expectations are the source of much grief.

And did I mention that in this beach house will be 6 women who all like to cook, but who view meal prep and clean-up differently? Some likely will be battling hormones of various kinds, cranky because of poor sleep in a new bed and/or tired because of babies and toddlers!

Don’t get me wrong!  We’re not an exceptionally dysfunctional family.  I don’t think anyone is in counseling at this momentJ.  We’re pretty normal!!!  But we are all sinners.

So here is how I’ve been praying and where my acronym comes into play.  I took the initials of the first and middle names of my nuclear family: our oldest son GC, my husband MF, our youngest son WJ and me MB and created a prayer for our entire Cochrane family, all of whom will be at this happy event :

Blessed are you, O God

May we, the Cochranes

          Delight in

          Enjoy ‘muchly’

          Treasure and

          Rejoice in who You are    (DETR – I pronounce it as ‘debtor’)

Grant us ever-exceeding (here come the initials of our names)

          Gratitude to You

          Compassion for others

          Mercy in our actions

          Faithfulness in our reliance on You

          Wisdom

          Joy

          Mindfulness and

          Beauty-seeking

I now have a better chance of remembering HOW I want to pray leading up to our reunion and during.  Of course PEACE, FORGIVENESS, UNSELFISHNESS and many other attitudes are ones for which I’m THANKING GOD ahead of time as well.

Don’t misunderstand – I’m not anticipating upheavals.  But I do believe that God wants us to be prepared and on our guard.  Satan and his cohorts are always aggressively on the prowl, looking to devour Christians.  We must be mindful and clad in our spiritual armor that God has provided.  To do otherwise is at best naïve and at worst a disaster waiting to happen.

Colossians 3 – 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

2-way Grace – a distinction

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I’ve heard it said that Grace is God’s one-way love.  I don’t intend to take away from that truth. Let’s just call it, “making a distinction.”

I love distinctions.  They help me sort out what I’m thinking; they give me an understanding of a concept.  Then it is mine.

Take the word ‘reasonable’.  It used to be a very good word.  But I didn’t know that until 2 years ago.  I grew up with the newer definition.  For example – if I asked to borrow 2 eggs from you and mentioned that I was going to the store the next day and would pay you back – that was a ‘reasonable’ request.  I wasn’t asking TOO MUCH from you – not like: “I need to borrow your one and only car for 3 days. May I please have the keys?”   Definitely UN-reasonable.

But reasonable doesn’t mean that at all!  Saying “yes” to Michael when he asked me to marry him after five weeks of dating happened to be a very REASONable decision.  He was both a philosopher and a good cook; we enjoyed spending lots of time outdoors together; we liked reading & travel; we worked in the same profession and he was cute!!  There you have it- 5 excellent REASONS and I haven’t even gotten warmed up!  That was a REASONABLE decision. (That ‘reasoning’ process took place 33 years ago, come September.)

Do you see why distinctions matter?

So it is with grace. God showers us with individual gifts called grace.  When we stop and notice them, SEE them and drink them in richly and then thank Him, not only are we pleasing our Father, we are enhancing our enjoyment of the gifts.

I saw this most closely yesterday as I was reading Phil 4: 6-7 in French.  That’s the exhortation not to worry about anything but to take every concern to God in prayer, with thanksgiving.  See if you can figure out what the verse means – there are lots of cognates. “…exposez vos requêtes à Dieu par la prière et la supplication avec des actions de grâces ;…. » Look at how the French translate ‘thanksgiving’ – actions de grâce !!!!!

I got to thinking that in some small human-sized way, I can give grace back to God by thanking Him for what He has given to me – in this case, access to Him for supernatural help!  My thanking Him pleases Him; He grants me more than I can ask or imagine according to His will; I see His hand all around me; I rest in His care; I tell Him how much I love His gifts; I feel close to Him; when something else comes up, it’s only natural that I turn to Him since I’ve been talking to Him.  It’s an X-stroke engine that once purring, it is easy to keep running. (why X?  – I don’t know – just seemed like X would indicate more than a limited number like 2 – besides, I don’t know cars!!!)

This is actually borne out by other scripture:  consider Psalm 116: 17to Thee I shall offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving AND call (try substituting: by calling) upon the name of the Lord (i.e. praying!!! – asking for more help)

Some dear folks mistakenly and pridefully reason, “God has too much to do running the universe to take an interest in my problems…besides doesn’t God help those who help themselves?”

No!  But that’s a topic for another distinction..and another blog – what part God does..and what part do we do.  For now let us be like the psalmist in Psalm 131, verse 2 Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me.

Dear Father, help me to see You and to cling to your Goodness like that trusting toddler.  Encourage me to ask for your help when I am in pain, anxiety and confusion.  Cause me to remember to thank you moment by moment.  In sync, in union, in step, in rhythm with your Grace.

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