Overwhelmed and the choice to wallow or cast

November 17, 2013

Maria Anxiety, James, Luke, Peace, Philippians, Prayer, Trust, Worries , , , , Leave a comment

Feeling overwhelmed – you can identify, can’t you?

Too many things hanging over me and I don’t want to face any of them. But instead of obediently taking them to the Father, I choose to skulk around in my feelings- “I don’t want to DO anything, I just wish they would all go away and leave me in peace!”

So it was hard to stay focused in church this morning when my mind kept going back to that unpleasant list.

Yet I know the remedy!  God commands us, as a loving Father who understands us and can see exactly what is best:

  • Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.   Phil 4:6
  • You do not have because you do not ask God. James 4:2b

The thing is, it feels like too much trouble to articulate what I want, so I let apathy and pathetic pity just hover like a grey cloud.

” Oh God, Help me!  You say that your mercies are new every morning!  If I woke up in a luxury hotel this morning and felt like I wanted something, or I needed something, wouldn’t I pick up the phone and ask for it, either from Room Service, the Front Desk or the Hotel Concierge?”

“Father, I’m not saying that You are a short order needs provider…yet..

You DO say that given a choice between WORRYING about stuff, or taking the time and energy to PRAY in specific words for what I need , (i.e. specifically and measurably) that we should come to You as a loving Father.  Not just once, but over and over again, like that annoying widow.”

  • Jesus told them a story showing that it was necessary for them to pray consistently and never quit. Luke 18:1

” Okay, Dad, I will go off line from this blog for a few moments and invest the energy into making a list of all that is on my mind for this week.”

I’m back!  – I just typed up a list detailing everything that was waiting for me when I woke up this morning. I wrote each item as a specific request, with measurable phrases like these:

  • Guide me, Lord,  to write down exactly what meals to cook while the kids are here for Thanksgiving, to include the ingredients I need to buy.
  • Guide our prep this week at school so that the team members are closer to being ready for Mock Trial.  May all 7 students show up Monday as well as the double period on Wednesday.

By the way, for fellow tech users, here is a link to an app that Mike and I use daily.  We like it for many reasons.  But one handy feature, is that you can type your requests, save them to Drop Box and then import them into PrayerMate on the iPhone.   App for PrayerMate

Okay, I feel a bit better.  I’ll let you know how God came through.  I know He will; He always does.  He’s that kind of heavenly Father.  Furthermore, He has resources at His disposal that I can’t see or even imagine.  He is the God who operates out of OUR limited box.

Wrestling with the Sabbath

March 4, 2012

Maria Hebrews, Proverbs , , 2 Comments

Obedience DOES bring blessings

As R.C. Sproul likes to say, “Ideas have consequences”.

Today I am on vacation – a true Sabbath rest.  And I am celebrating God’s goodness.

The other day, my favorite iron-mongering friend (as in ‘iron sharpening iron’ -Proverbs 27:17) mentioned a mutual acquaintance who had panicked and chosen the world’s way in a very difficult situation.  This person had even gotten legal counsel and I’m sure thinks he did what any reasonable person would do.  His weakness made us see the parallel with Abraham who caused his wife, Sarah, to lie by claiming to be his sister so the Egyptians wouldn’t kill Abe in order to take her into the royal harem.

As I left Starbucks, I was musing: I wonder where I am not trusting God and thereby sinning.

I did not have to wait long for God to let me know.  That night, I read a reference to a verse in Hebrews that has always seemed contradictory and therefore incomprehensible.   Hebrews 4:11 says, “Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that (Sabbath) rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience”

Another translation says, STRIVE to enter that rest. All of a sudden I thought about my struggle with the idea of the Sabbath and my antipathy to Sunday afternoons and lesson-planning.  Ever since I came to my current school, I have spent Saturdays cleaning and grocery shopping and Sundays after church lesson planning.  There seemed no way out.  I have travelled the gamut from guilt on one hand to resignation on the other.  I’ve justified working on Sundays since I habitually enjoy a long Saturday morning quiet time, noodling around in my Bible and then catching up with email on the computer until about 11 am.  My lunch is my reward after getting the upstairs clean and I leisurely catch up on a magazine during those 30 minutes before continuing on with normal chores.  So what if I work on Sunday?  I do enjoy a Sabbath – it’s just cut up in parts and scattered over the weekend.  But it has not been at all restful and I have lived with dread of the impending Sunday afternoon.

But all of a sudden I saw my dilemma as a case of unbelief.  I had declared that ‘given my teaching circumstances – 5 different preps – there was NO way I could do otherwise.  Now God was gently raising the possibility that He could in fact do more than I had imagined if I was WILLING to be obedient and trust him.

The challenge was on!  I felt like I had nothing to lose.  I just happened to mention it to my husband on Saturday morning.  It occurred to me that I could actually ask Mike to wash the kitchen floor.  Not only was he willing, but he said that he would clean up the entire kitchen to boot.

I could imagine God smirking…..in the past I’ve ‘taken pride’ in the fact that I clean every week without help from my husband. (Of course he is the one who does the outside; I don’t count that in my perfection equation).  Over the years, I’ve killed the ‘little martyr’ inside of me, while all along still perfecting my superior dance.   Now if my husband helped, I could not claim to be competent.  It didn’t even take more than 3 seconds to weigh my options.   Good bye competency!  Welcome dependency on others!

How did my day turn out?  I got up at the same time (fairly early), but had only a 25 minute quiet time.  I didn’t take a lunch break, but ate while working on lesson plans.  Since Mike took care of the kitchen – that saved about 45 minutes right there.  I only completed core plans and put on my ToDo List some other school-related tasks that I will trust God for come Monday.

Voilà – He came through.  All along I kept reminding myself of my impending vacation day – a true Sabbath.  Through His provision (wisdom, stretched time, a wonderful husband) I completed the cleaning and the grocery shopping. We also walked, dined leisurely and regretfully finished the last Downton Abbey show from Season 1.  Afterwards, I caught up on a magazine and was in bed by 10:15.  Visions of tomorrow’s blessing kept dancing through my head.  (I actually couldn’t sleep much, so excited was I!)

As I thought about this miracle, the idea came to mind:  what other commands of God have I avoided as impractical or impossible?   And an even more powerful thought – maybe God intends to really bless us with these ‘rules’.  Hmmm….what blessings have I willingly deprived myself of by believing Satan’s lies?

An Antidote to Worry

July 3, 2011

Maria 2 Corinthians, Matthew, Peace, Philippians , , , 4 Comments

I’m pushing back to next week, my part 2 of Gospel blessings because a besetting sin has been demanding my attention.

I confess, I have fallen back into worry and self-recriminations about how much I weigh and how hard it is to get and stay slim.  What has prompted this reoccurring grief I give myself?  We’re back from vacation!!!   Mike and I explored the Appalachian hills of Tennessee and visited our kids in Kentucky for almost two weeks.  But we were NOT lumps who let ourselves ‘go’.  We walked/ hiked between ONE and FOUR hours a day. And our meals were relatively routine in quality and quantity.  Yet I gained weight; hence, my misery.  But every problem from God is also a doorway into spiritual growth and ultimately a gift.

God’s word is first a mirror to our error and then a light to the correct path.  Last week while worshiping with Wes and Anne at their Baptist church, the minister read a verse I had never seen before:  But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.

This word ‘simplicity’ is HAPLOTES (SG 572) in the Greek.  It means being single-minded, mentally honest, free from hypocrisy (espousing one way to live, living another way).  All of a sudden, I FELT free.  The fragrant and freeing idea of ‘all I have to do, is be devoted to Christ – no other cause, agenda, goal, purpose, plan’ settled gently into my spirit.  I realized that I had heard this before.  God is amazingly consistent in His instruction to us.  Consider other verses about the one thing:

  • There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her. – Luke 10:42 (NLT)
  • Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness…..- Matt 6:33
  • No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and will love the other….Math 6:24

Then the other day, back at home in my routine, stewing in the 3 pound gain, the Holy Spirit reminded me about the sin of worry.  I was moseying around in Matthew 6 again and came across the very familiar command in verse 31:  “Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?‘

My first thought was, is it that simple?  Just don’t worry?  How can that be?  What will I do?  What will I eat?  What if I cannot get off these 3 vacation pounds and then the OTHER 3 pounds I still need to lose (I know, I’m pathetic – but God uses ALL of our junk). How can I just NOT think about all this?  Who will think about it if I don’t?  My riposte to God echoed some atheists’ responses to the Gospel offer of grace, “It’s too good to be true” or, “It can’t be that simple”   My protestations were stopped.

So I did what I always do when I want to know more, I looked up the specific Greek words for ‘worry’.  The verb is MERIMNAO (SG 3308) which means to have one’s thoughts or interests divided.  When we think about a situation beyond the requisite time it takes to cast that little bugger into God’s big lap, we are dividing our thoughts, our minds, and our energies.  In sum, we are sinning. That brought me right back to HAPLOTES – the simplicity of being devoted just to Jesus!

So how am I applying these two verbs to my life?  I’m helping myself to the tool/gift of repentance.  I realize that I am NOT to stew about what I am to eat or do about my body.  In Philippians Paul uses this verb – MERINMNO – in the familiar ‘Don’t be anxious..but pray…’(Phil 4:6) command.  So I am allowing myself to pray once in the morning and to think about my concern ONLY then, as I hand it over to God.  Then when my mind starts to go THERE again, during the day, I repent of my disobedient, wayward thought and ask the Holy Spirit to help me return to being single-mindedly devoted to the ONE THING, Christ, my Lord.

I know you might not identify with my double-minded exhausting mental gymnastics about food and bodies, but this need to train and subdue our minds is basic for any Christian who desires to obey God and have his or her mind renovated. It seems that we all need LOTS of repetition of the same lessons, different flavors.  Thank you, Lord, that you are a patient teacher.

 

 

 

 

 

And they named him Noah. Lessons about our ancestor.

March 28, 2011

Maria Uncategorized , 2 Comments

“Now he (Noah’s dad Lamech) called his name Noah, saying, “This one will give us rest from our work and from the toil of our hands arising from the ground which the LORD has cursed.”  Gen 5:29

Our grandson Noah is due in a few weeks.  Providentially my daily bible reading has brought me back to the beginning, so that I am in Genesis these days.  It goes without saying: I have been keenly interested in the account of Noah.

We are introduced to him in the preparations Dad Lamech makes for his birth. The prophetic words recorded in verse 29 above are so full of hope.  We hear joy over the impending birth of this son.   There is no fear that he will turn out ‘wrong’.  There is a confidence that can come only from a father who knows God.  Lamech the Godly as I will call him (the other, Lamech the Vain and Violent, described in Chapter 4 is a descendant of Cain) knows his family origins.  He understands his original grandparents’ sin.  He acknowledges their punishment that has been passed down to all generations of mankind.  He does not sulk or complain or criticize God.  He realistically acknowledges how difficult working the land has become.  And he dreams of better days brought on by this son of his.

The power of a godly father is unparalleled.  A few verses later, in Chapter 6, we learn how wicked men and women have become.  But Noah, son of a father who has taught him properly to fear the Lord, finds favor in God’s sight.  In fact ONLY Noah is considered righteous enough to be saved as a blood line.  His brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews will perish in the flood.

What makes Noah a standout?  He obeys God’s commands when given, he uses common sense when appropriate and he waits for further instruction when the situation is beyond him.

In Genesis 6:14, God starts to give specific guidance about what to do.  Noah does not question God, but sets to carrying out the construction of the ark.  And he completes the task. In Genesis 6:22, we read, Thus Noah did; according to all that God had commanded him, so he did.

I put myself in Mrs. Noah’s shoes.  My questions would have been the following:

  • How will we get the animals to come on board?
  • What about all the bodily wastes (ours and the animals)?  Do we have to haul them up to our floor and get rid of them out the window?
  • How will we feed the animals?
  • If there is only one window, we’re going to want it for our family.  And if there are 3 stories, then that means the animals will be in the dark.  Will they panic and fight each other?  Will they hibernate?   Will the ark be big enough if they start multiplying?
  • How long will we have to be in the ark?
  • What clothes, tools and supplies should we bring?
  • What about my prized heirlooms from Great-Grandma Eve?
  • Where will we land?
  • What are we going to do all day long and all night?
  • What will happen to us afterwards?

I can imagine Noah saying to his wife, sons and daughters-in-law, “Don’t worry, the Lord will guide us in all these areas.  Hasn’t he instructed us up until now? ”

When the rains do stop, we read how Noah’s common sense kicks in.  He thinks to send out first a raven and then a dove.  But he doesn’t open the door until God tells him.  Noah seems to exercise that perfect balance of waiting, acting, obeying.

The ‘take-aways’ for me in this chronicle of our ancestor Noah are in the area of decision making and parenting. God obviously trusts us to learn how to rely on him for what is beyond us and to do for ourselves what is within reach.  This lesson is important to me, for I know that I tend to fret over / angst about/ project scenarios that never come about.  I have to continuously remind myself that God is creative and capable.  After all, he did create the whole universe.  I can trust Him to provide.  I’m sure that most of what Mrs. Noah worried about never happened.

Finally, parenting has eternal consequences.  The power of godly parents can change the course of history.  Lamech and his wife taught Noah well.  Yet, I have to assume, if they taught Noah, they also taught all their children.  However, only oldest child Noah survived the deluge.  We parents are limited.  Children are accountable to God themselves and do make wrong choices for which they suffer consequences.  We do the best we can, guided and empowered by the Holy Spirit.  The final outcome is in God’s hands.

Noah will soon join his cousin Chloe, God willing.  I pray every day for these two children that God will, “Satisfy (them) in the morning with (his) unfailing love, that (they) may sing for joy and be glad all their days.” Psalm 90:14.   I want them to thirst and hunger for God early on to such a degree, that only God satisfies.  Furthermore, I pray that their being filled up with the joy of the Lord will spill over onto all whom they meet.

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