Just what IS the desire of your heart?

February 15, 2024

Maria Psalm 21 , , , , 1 Comment

You have granted him his heart’s desire …Psalm 21:2 NIV

If the Lord appeared before you and asked you what you wanted, what would you say? Are you prepared to ask for just one desire? Would that tumble off your lips without much reflection?

We just said goodbye to Mom, my mother-in-law, whom I’ve known for 44 years. During that last 2 years, she suffered a lot, almost dying from sepsis during a hospital stay. All along, she was hoping that doctors and medicine would restore her physical capacities. A very human response, for sure. But it looked like her faith was in doctors and drugs.

She did mention to me several times over the past two years (and to other family members) that she was at peace with dying. But I think she was imagining that transition happening one night in her sleep. And in the end, she did slip off to the Kingdom while peacefully sleeping.

But before the Lord granted her that prayer, he led her along a different path, one that involved losing ability after another. When she did pass, she weighed 79 pounds. She couldn’t swallow liquids or food anymore, couldn’t see faces clearly, let alone the written word, couldn’t speak much and wasn’t even able to get herself out of a chair or the bed. And she was totally aware of these losses. Her memory was still intact.

I learned a lot about God walking through this process with her.  I live in a different part of the country, but during her last two years I spent time with her, both in her presence and with daily phone calls.

My desire for her all along was that she would long for Jesus more than anything else. That seeing him face to face would be her primary heart’s desire.  On the last day, she did arrive at that point. Cousin Terry, her niece, named after her, shared the Gospel with her one last time over facetime. She encouraged Mom just to tell Jesus, “I want you, Jesus!”.  I did hear her whisper, for the first time in my presence, “I DO want God!” That was February 9, her last day in that body.

Reading Psalm 21 yesterday, I marveled at this example of a godly man asking for the one thing he wants more than anything in the world. In that same Psalm, God does grant what he petitions. How do we know the writer is ‘a godly man’?  Look at how the Holy Spirit describes him:

The king rejoices in your strength, Lord. How great is his joy in the victories you give! Psalm 21:1 NIV

He is totally God-focused, exalting the Lord and exulting him him. Just what would a man with that kind of heart ask for? We know he’s a king, so he has plenty of ‘stuff’. Could it be physical strength or a happy family, peace with his enemies? We know from verse 3 mentioned above that God did indeed grant his request. 

Here is what the king wanted more than anything else:

He asked you for life, and you gave it to him— length of days, for ever and ever. Psalm 21:4 NIV

That is what Mom now has received. Unending days of LIFE! The life that Jesus came in person to give us. Now, in part, and one day soon, fully-orbed life in his presence.  Jesus wasn’t talking about life as we know it on Earth 1.0 with its first version of bodies, but a different life, one freed from suffering, without corruption, brokenness, or disappointments.

Yet… I’m sad that Mom didn’t get to experience more of that abundant life while she was still with us.  I don’t believe she knew or imagined the kind of love with which the Godhead has for her. She received a meager diet of biblical truth. She only started attending a gospel-rich bible study in her last year, when she moved to Asheville. I thank God for the Baptist pastor, Shekinah, whose church is next door to her former independent living residence.  She began to know in a deeper way our Jesus whom the bible reveals in both the Old and New Testaments. She witnessed someone who was bubbling over with genuine love because she, this pastor, knows how much Jesus loves her. 

A person who has experienced God’s love for him has his desires changed over time.  I want to be like the man in Psalm 21, who knows and seeks one thing. I am sure that this is exactly what God promises to give us.

What you focus on tends to dominate

April 15, 2021

Maria God's presence, Psalm 16, Psalm 21 , , , 1 Comment

Have you found this to be true? What we pay attention to grows bigger, more significant? I’ve experienced that both with sound and sight.  When Mike was in the market for a Saab way back in the 80s, I couldn’t picture what one looked like. But as soon as he pointed out several, I started spotting them easily.  Similarly, when he helped me identify a particular bird by its call, I immediately grew aware of how many there were.

This principle of focus and attention applies to our problems and broken situations as well. What I listen or watch out for grabs the spot light.  But do you and I really want to fill our minds with what’s wrong?  We don’t have to deny reality, but as believers, God’s reality is the canvass upon which we live out these temporary circumstances.  They are not the only facts of life. More significant is His planned provision.  I want to keep watch for His help, His guidance, His grace. They are just as real as the suffering.

To that end, some of the psalms have helped me calibrate my focus this week.

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I have set the LORD always before me…….I shall not be shaken. Psalm 16: 8 ESV

That’s my problem!  Verse 8 flashed like a strobe light, helping me see I did not have God front and center in my thoughts.

Little things niggled away at any peace as soon as I awoke. I rehearsed temporary things like worries about my weight, a busy Sunday afternoon, now that I’d accepted a spur-of-the-moment lunch invitation for after church, options for the summer, what to choose for birthday gifts coming up in May.  All of them hung around the edges of my mind when the morning alarm startled me awake.

On top of those pesky problems buzzing in my head, one of the cats had missed the litter box and there was pee on the baseboard.  Like I said, little things.  Collectively these thoughts dominated my mental space, causing me to feel, ‘rocked’ and grumpy.

When I sat down to immerse myself in His word, God ‘spoke’.  Psalm 16 made me ashamed of my peevishness. Because I hadn’t started my morning looking at Him, the world rushed in. What a sad way to greet the day and our Father, by ignoring Him.

You have given him his heart’s desire and have not withheld the request of his lips. Psalm 21:2 ESV

Can you articulate your one heart’s desire?  The question sobers. When I started writing in my journal, nothing circumstantial came to my mind. Neither money, stuff, adventures, changes in house or town called me. Even the idea of travel.  Sure, I can fantasize about living in Switzerland, but anything here on earth that I could name as a heart’s desire will vanish pretty soon anyway.  I don’t want to waste my one desire on something that won’t last.

I pondered further. What would I ask for that both changes my life now and forever?  I read on in the Psalm.  Then I saw it in verse 6: you make him glad with the joy of your presence, followed by verse 7: ….for the king trusts in the LORD

That’s what I want! I immediately wrote down and prayed, “Father, cause me to exercise firm and complete reliance on You so to be cheerfully content in any circumstance!”

The good news is that God WANTS to do just that. He wants us to enjoy His closeness.

How do we ‘get’ close to God? The only way I know how to feel close to someone is to talk and listen to them constantly.