How we talk to ourselves matters

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“The Lord has done great things for me, and I am glad.”
Ps. 126:3 — my paraphrase

So many of my friends are journeying through difficult times. Some face cancer scares, others lament and then pray with hope for prodigals, and a few have lost jobs.

Last week, I celebrated the Lord’s goodness to me as He led me into the light, having birthed a book, Feed on Him: 365 Daily Devotions to Make God’s Word Yours with His help. One practical anchor that kept me from allowing myself to be overcome by difficulties was the phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is . . . .”

We all move through our days with an invisible but steady inner monologue. For far too long, mine has been more negative than positive—even as a follower of Jesus. Though, you wouldn’t notice that about me, for I project “cheery and animated” when I interact with others.

But I have decided to try to change my thought patterns. Since the beginning of November—two weeks now—I have invested time most mornings in writing down personalized versions of Scripture to remind me just how much God loves me. The idea is that if I “marinate”—as Scotty Smith writes—in His eternal agape love for me, that can rewire my heart and my body. Yes, I’m brainwashing myself with God’s truth.

Anyone can turn Scripture into a personal confession, praying it back to the Lord. Today I have in mind the grown daughter of a sweet friend of mine. This young mom and other family members are waiting for the results of a biopsy, knowing that a positive result would be serious.

Using Psalm 126:3 as a prompt to announce God’s goodness, I’ve customized some of Psalm 107, announcing God’s Word as having already happened. I had written it for myself after the book project. Stressing over it had caused my body to exhibit some very distracting physical side effects.

Vs. 1 I give thanks to You, O Lord, for You are good; Your steadfast love for me lasts forever.
Vs. 2 I, redeemed by Your love, do say so, for You have redeemed me from many past troubles.
Vs. 5–6 When my soul was fainting from fear within me and I cried out to You, Lord, You delivered me from my distress.
Vs. 7 And You led me by a straight way.
Vs. 8 I thank You for Your unfailing love for me.
Vs. 14 You brought me out of the darkness of my own despair. You burst my bonds.
Vs. 15 I do thank You for Your steadfast love that never changes.
Vs. 19 When I cried to You in my trouble, You delivered me from my distress.
Vs. 20 You sent out Your Word and healed me.

We’re not blind to circumstances, but our God is more powerful than any created detail. As the prophet proclaimed:

“Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed.”
Jeremiah 17:14 NIV

Mountain be gone!

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“The book” is finally ready to be released on November, 17, 2025.

. . . By my God I can leap over a wall. Psalm 18:29 ESV

Throughout this process, God has pulled me out of a singular deep pit of despair and strengthened me to leap over walls. One obstacle after another kept me coming back to God for His help. True to His character, He kept me going all the way until the finish line.

I didn’t start out writing a book of devotions. That desire came later. From 2021 to 2024 I wrote short-form reflections of what God was showing me.  Some I posted here on this blog.  When I completed number 365, the Lord gave me the desire to pull them together into a publishable book — a new adventure with the Lord.

Unlike our son Graham, who signed contracts with a publishing company for his first two books, I chose the self-publishing route. Two friends had done exactly this. From them I learned businesses exist which will handle everything, from the editing process, layout, cover creation, uploading on Amazon’s publishing platform to then marketing your book.  As appealing as that was, Mike and I did not want to invest that amount of money if one could do it oneself.

I started researching how to do this and the Lord sent me advice and resources.  I found plenty of YouTube videos to dive into. Graham had learned from one of his clients of a popular software program for laying out a book.  I explored editorial help as well.

First, I revised each of these short daily devotional bites as I had named them.  I expanded them from an initial 175-word framework to bring clarity to my message.  Then my dear husband read each one, pointing out discrepancies and confusing passages. I revised those.

Next, I contacted Karen, a close friend, to see if she would consider editing them professionally.  Not only does she know my writing, she is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ who works as a freelance editor.  Graciously she agreed and set to work aligning each meditation with the Chicago Manual of Style.

Unknowingly, I had enrolled in a writing seminar taught by Professor Karen! I took notes, and gradually internalized punctuation and challenged myself to think carefully about word choice.  Her thought-provoking questions challenged me to more tightly connect the day’s verse with the biblical message. She encouraged me as well to provide better context to the reader.

Working with the Vellum software took me a while to understand. But with the company’s customer service and ChatGPT’s help, I succeeded in uploading and styling the book.

The final and what turned out to be the most despair-producing step was to select a cover designer.  As they say, “You don’t know what you don’t know.”  The gal I chose did not provide the correctly formatted images and tried to scam me as well, sending me into a pit of irrational fears and darkness.

But God pulled me out, provided a competent cover artist and under a week, the print and eBook versions have now been uploaded and are ready for pre-orders with a release date of 17 November 2025.

My takeaway? Those times I put needless pressure on myself instead of handing over the challenge du jour to God were what made it easy for me at the end to despair for about a week.  Maybe I had to go through all this to learn once again, that by my God, I CAN pass through, climb over or skirt around mountains.