i….f anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
How have you changed since you became a Christian? I bet you can tick off a number of areas in your life that are different. I can as well, but some aspects of Maria have not been renovated. I still carry around views of myself that turn out, it seems, to be quite limiting.
For example, I’ve often said, “I’m not good at art.” This seemed to be a reasonable truth. For some people clearly gravitate toward drawing or crafting or painting out of love. Here’s another example: Mike is very musical. I’m not. I tried piano lessons for 10 years and because I didn’t enjoy practicing, I didn’t grow much in skill nor in enjoyment.
These conclusions form what are called identity statements, as in: I’m not the kind of person who does X.
Recently, while listening to a podcast, I started to see for the first time just how many of these negative, limiting identities I have absorbed and frequently use. The guest, Mike Zeller, being interviewed shared a captivating concept of alter egos.
During the podcast, I found out that he had personally coached the host in identifying his own limiting beliefs about himself. During the conversation, listeners learned how Zeller had guided him in creating a persona that he could ‘wear’ and act like, an alter ego. Each alter ego was given a name. Zeller encourages his clients to name the old persona something silly, something mock-worthy. (think ‘Debbie Downer’ or ‘Eeyore’)
For some reason, this way of stepping away from a negative identity into a new one seemed do-able to me. Especially when I realized that a lot of my self-talk was in fact damaging me, a revelation that had never before struck me as negative. For these beliefs had seemed simply to be true.
For example, I love languages and speak various ones with different degrees of proficiency. Yet, whenever anyone remarks, ‘Maria, you’re good at languages, they come easily to you!’, I deny that and reply, ‘Not really, I just work super hard because I really want to be fluent in all of them.’
And that’s the truth about how I have thought about myself. I had never seen that in reality, that assessment is both negative and limiting. I was stunned!
I bet you have run similar crippling scripts through your mind without realizing it. Here is what is hopeful. You don’t have to retrain your subconscious; you just have to catch yourself in the middle of asserting one of those ‘lines’ and step out of it into a new alter ego.
Here is what I have done. I have identified an alter ego, to whom I have given the name, “Fluent Frankie” (I had an Aunt Frances whom I don’t remember whose nickname was Frankie).
This new gal, ‘Fluent Frankie’, is programmed to respond to someone complimenting her on multiple languages: ‘Thank you! I really like languages and I have found that they are pretty easy to acquire if you’re willing to put in the time.’
I’ll give you another example. Maria’s depressing view on picking out gifts for family has always been: ‘I’m not a creative gift giver like my husband, my son Graham or my late mother-in-law’. That self-constructed identity has always made me dread birthdays and Christmas. Selecting appropriate gifts that delight the person has felt like a burden.
But…..as a new creation in God, with multiple alter egos, I have created, ‘Good-gift-giver Gabbie’ (I’m picking out first names of people I have never personally known). For this new character I can choose to play thinking about and selecting gifts is FUN.
There are about 11 other invented alter egos I have created and can select from when I catch myself running a negative, depressing and limiting script. They are: Patient Paula, Leisurely Leslie, Trusting Tina, Flexible Fiora, Solid Sleeper Sammie, Fun-loving Mimi, Cheerfully-Confident Carol, Silent Susie, Worry-free Wanda, Grateful Gretchen and Stewarding Serena.
The 11 personas that involve my walk as a child of God are glimpses of how I want to grow. I desire to trust more the Father’s unchanging love for me and be more willing to obey Jesus about not fearing or worrying. Handing over all that concerns me because he knows me intimately and IS constantly praying for and providing for me.
Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the LORD will provide”). Genesis 22:14 NLT
May 16, 2024 @ 19:54:57
Thanks Maria, I love the fact that you are a lifelong learner who doesn’t take her growth for granted.
Terry Powell
Professor of Church Ministry
Seminary & School of Ministry
Columbia International University
(803) 807-5453 (Office)
Cell: 803-673-0231
(803) 807-5850 (Fax)
Twitter: @terrydpowell
Website: penetratingthedarkness.com
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