How do Christians make decisions?

January 26, 2014

Maria Colossians, Life, Peace, Prayer, Proverbs , , , , , Leave a comment

Do Christians make decisions differently than non-Christians?

I ask because I think that all of us, pagans and Christians alike, want to make good decisions and have peace.

It seems to me that within the Christian community, there are two approaches.  I have tried both and am now a practitioner of the 2nd kind.

The first decision-crisis I ever lived through was when our oldest son, a new Christian, was faced with a significant intersection in his life.  He was a freshman in college and had applied to a different one for his sophomore year.  When he was accepted in January, he faced a difficult choice.  And as a baby believer, he wanted to trust God.  He explicitly announced that he was going to wait on God to give him an answer.  That got ME worried!

  • what if God didn’t answer him; how would he decide?
  • what would an answer even look like?
  • how might a lack of response impact his fledgling faith?

Graham, himself, didn’t know what to expect, but he plunged ahead with this ‘experiment’ in what he thought was biblical decision-making.  He vacillated for about 2 weeks and finally got mad at God. Then God graciously gave him a consistent FEELING of rightness about staying at the current college and NOT transferring.  After living with the FEELING that staying was the right choice, Graham declined the offer from the other college.

I, too, had a feeling-based decision-making experience.  I decided I wanted to leave a current job.  But on the assumption that I should wait for a sign from God, I did nothing but pray.  What would a sign from God look like?  That was the scary part!  Would I even recognize God’s prompting?

Graciously, God indulged my immature view and gave me a feeling of, “I’ve had it!” at the current school. With my husband’s approval, I told my supervisor that I would not seek a contract for the following year. My Christian friends supported this decision-making method by quoting me the verse from Colossians 3:15…Let the peace of God rule or umpire in your hearts.

It seems like Christians live by feelings and not by faith.  And I was one of them.  But reading Kevin DeYoung’s book, Just Do Something,

on decision-making started to change how I make decisions.     Link to Amazon

His premise is that as we soak in God’s principles from the Bible, we gain wisdom.  And God actually wants us to put that wisdom to use.  We are to grow up as we practice walking by faith in Him and not by sight. If we wait on a sign from Him, then we risk nothing.   But if we make a decision, having prayed and sought counsel, then our acting IS a step of faith. And God promises to guide our ‘ship in motion’ if we head in the wrong direction.

The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord guides his steps. Prov 16:9

Elizabeth Elliott, a godly and mature older Christian, addresses that perennial topic: How do we know God’s will for our life.  Like Kevin DeYoung, she also counsels wise action when she says, DO THE NEXT THING.

Actually God’s will for our life really isn’t about whom we should marry or which job to take.  It’s our growing up in godliness that He’s after.  At some point, the training wheels come off and we walk on our own.  (But Abba-Papa is always near)

Next week, God-willing,  I ‘ll talk about our experiment with the ‘step out in faith’  type of decision-making.  In the mean time, I’d love to hear about YOUR experiences in dealing with decisions as you have grown in Christ.

Processing Trials – aka membership in the ‘Pure Joy’ Club

January 19, 2014

Maria Gifts, James, Joy, Trials , , , , , 1 Comment

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds…”

The timing was breathtaking:

  • another cat with failing health
  • another closed door session with my principal about my teaching

This was one of those déjà vu experiences.

In October, I wrote about the decision to euthanize a deteriorating OLD cat, Leia.  The Friday before that final appointment with the vet, I was confronted for the 2nd time in 6 weeks with a list of parent complaints about my teaching and relationships with students in my new school.  I was crushed.  And dumb-founded. I have always enjoyed mutually happy connections with students and parents in the previous 21 years.

My reaction at first was to want a way out.  (All this pushback PLUS 110 minutes a day commuting!!!) But I accepted this as a trial and prayed for my students and their perceptions of me with new vigor.  My husband and some close Christian friends also promised to pray.  By the time Christmas break came, I was feeling content with my new school and thinking about the possibility of staying on if they offered me a contract in the spring.

Then Calvin, one of a pair of 8 year-old cats who had moved down with us in June, abruptly became paralyzed in the space of 3 days.

(Calvin is on the left of Luther)

Calvin and Luther asleep with each other - July 09We had almost lost him 10 months earlier in Virginia.  He had fortunately recovered and we were NOT expecting another bout of illness.  And  what followed his sudden lapse was almost humorous given the precedent. Another counseling session at school regarding parent complaints!!!! This time my Christianity and conservative political views were mentioned as possibly making parents less likely to enroll their children in middle school French next year. (I don’t evangelize at school, but I don’t hide my faith.  And I’ve had five letters to the editor published in the city newspaper)

THIS time, I didn’t crumble!

What encouragement!  I have real proof  that I have grown spiritually since October.

Driving home last Monday to a dying Calvin and a husband waiting to learn the outcome of my tête-à-tête with the principal, I  felt peaceful.  My identity and well-being are NOT dependent on my cats’ health or what my boss thinks of me. I belong to Christ.  I have the essentials – the approval and presence of God.  My eternal future has not changed in the least because of these very painful circumstances.

But here’s the point –  I wouldn’t have known the ACTUAL state of what I believe had it not been for these recent trials.

No one wants trials.  We all seek comfort, if we’re honest. But what I have gained through these parallel trials, 3 months apart, is the assurance that God is working IN me to give me what I am missing.

A final point about God’s perfect timing.  I had in the week running up to this eventful Monday listened to 2 sermons on the book of James via podcast.  My friend, Tom Kenney, had stressed that trials are planned by God to complete us, to give us all that we are lacking so that we are perfect and spiritually mature.  And also as God would have it, I had just started some French memory work in the very same book.  Little did I know how much  I was being fortified FOR these trials.

God is so good, it blows me away!

Question: How have you been gifted through a trial?

Measuring others based on which standards?

January 12, 2014

Maria 1 Corinthians, Grace, James, Pride , , , , 1 Comment

My husband and I were discussing different character attributes of people the other day.  I realize that I am fairly judgmental about people (I know that comes as a surprise to you!), but what was a new thought to me was the question of which standard I use.

I realized that I measure others based on the metric of MY strengths and what’s important to me.

Let’s imagine that maintaining a super clean house was high on my list. (it’s not)

So according to my theory – I would evaluate others on how well they achieve the standard that comes easily or naturally to me.

Do you see how ‘playing this game’ makes me a winner each time and feeds my judgmentalism?

But what if OTHERS take THEIR strengths and use them as a grid for seeing how well I do?  Ouch!!!

And what if I am not even AWARE that I’m being evaluated? After all, do all my ‘judgees’ know how they rate on Maria’s scale?

This was a new thought – and a disturbing one. I realize that in every movie I spin,  I’m  the ‘STAR’, the hero/the good guy  in my movie about myself.

What are some external behavioral ways people might judge their fellow man or woman made in God’s image?  Off the top of my head, I thought of possible standards one might ‘secretly’ impose on others:

  • how they dress or fix their hair; whether they keep nails manicured
  • how their children behave or achieve academically
  • type of schooling they choose for their children
  • how generous they are with their time or wealth with friends and ‘strangers’
  • degree of community involvement
  • type of meals served at home, if any
  • how hospitable they are
  • skill in driving
  • whether ‘writing thank-you notes’ is part of their normal behavior
  • how they keep in shape physically
  • ambitiousness at work; degree to which one seeks out leadership roles or responsibility
  • responsiveness to emails and phone messages
  • quality of gift-giving/ability to remember birthdays
  • degree a person talks ONLY about himself v. interest in the other
  • how well-read they are;  quality of books they read
  • whether they do family devotions with the kids
  • whether they go ‘back’ for the Sunday evening service or attend a mid-week small group/Bible study
  • whether they watch TV or read
  • how grammatically correct one speaks
  • degree to which someone initiates invitations to others
  • how tech-dependent or tech-free
  • how ‘good with kids/animals’ they are
  • do they make their beds? (half the world doesn’t per my informal polls of students in French class)
  • whether a stay-at-home mom ‘just’ takes care of the kids OR runs a small business from home

I’m sure you can add to the list.  But the point is….. what are we to do?

You’ve heard it says that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. (1 Pet 5:5)

I, for one, do NOT want the God of the universe, the living and very present God to oppose me!  All I or you can do is CONFESS, REPENT and beg for help from the One who promises to give us a way out when we are tempted.

1 Cor 10:13  The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

Of course, the KEY is – the DESIRE to drop the judging.(judging can be FUN!) …So that’s what we should ask God for.

Question:  True confessions, if you dare….. – Where do YOU feel superior in your life?

The fallacy of multi-tasking

January 5, 2014

Maria God's Sovereignty, Impatience, Peace, Trinity, Work , , Leave a comment

I used to take pride in being able to multi-task…

…and  feel smugly superior to those who merely did one task at a time. Of course I never considered the quality of my work; the only purpose of splitting my focus was to move more stuff off my TO-DO list in less time.

Gradually, in the past 3 years, I have come to admit that I can’t multi-task at all! Whether it’s because I”m over 50 or I’m growing spiritually, I am seeing my limits and not railing against them.

Actually, multi-tasking is not the way God calls us to operate.

Eccles 4:6 – Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind. 

So if we aren’t to toil double-fisted, how ARE we to work?  

  • Consciously, with His glory in view,
  • Depending on HIS energy,
  • Remembering that we serve both as an ambassador of Christ’s AND a servant of God.

If people can judge us by our work, then we want it to be representative of the family we belong to! Moreover it is axiomatic that completing or performing a job well takes time. 

My husband’s colleague used to quip, “Why is there  never enough time to do something right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over?” 

If we’re just fooling ourselves about our ability to do more than one thing at a time, does that mean NO ONE can handle simultaneous activities?

Actually there is someone who can – God!

Here are two illustrations – one from the New City Catechism –  Catechism link  and the other, a quote from John Piper.  First the catechism – this comes from Question 37 – How does the Holy Spirit help us? 

Answer: The Holy Spirit 

  1. convicts us of sin
  2. comforts us
  3. guides us
  4. gives us spiritual gifts
  5. and the desire to obey God
  6. and he enables us to pray
  7. and to understand God’s Word

When I meditated on that, I realized that He is doing that ALL the time, perfectly.  And we aren’t even addressing what God the Father and God the Son are doing at the same time. Our triune God is the ultimate multi-tasker.  And that is how John Piper views him.

His comment below in the picture comforts me.  I can trust God to accomplish far more than I can ask or imagine simply because He IS God and a good one, to boot.

So take heart, dear ones.  We were never meant to do more than one thing at a time.  It’s okay to do a task well, completely, thoroughly and excellently (without striving for perfection).  Let’s resolve to slow down and trust God’s sovereign control over our time.  And leave the multitasking to the Godhead!